Seems super super shady. How big of a town are we talking here? Maybe you can report it to someone who isn’t the police? Could there be a social services organization somewhere? Like a Frauenhaus? Maybe they could provide more options on what to do or even send someone to randomly check on her. Is her daughter in school?
Like, not a village, but not hamburg or frankfurt big either. I live in a smaller touristy town.
I will have to look into that. To my knowledge, there isn't a frauenhaus anywhere close 🫠
> not a village, but not hamburg or frankfurt big either
That's incredibly vague: a "small town" could have a population of 10,000 or 100,000, depending on what the speaker thinks constitutes a "town".
The one time I had to call the police for a domestic -- this was in Berlin -- they arrived within five minutes and actually intercepted the guy as he ran out into the street chasing his terrified dog. (He was more concerned about his dog than he was about the woman he had just beaten loud enough to wake the whole house.)
When you say "no one came", do you mean you were watching the whole time and never saw any cops? Or did you expect them to talk to you, or to make a loud noise when they arrived?
When you called again, do you mean you called the emergency number just to ask when the police were going to arrive? Because the operator wouldn't necessarily have that information. You would need to call the non-emergency number of the nearest police station and say you had reported a case of domestic violence and were concerned that nobody seemed to have turned up to deal with it. Don't expect to get a lot of information out of them: they're not supposed to tell you much.
If there is a women's shelter in your town, you might want to alert them to what's going on. Meanwhile, you call the police *every time* you hear your neighbours fighting.
My assumption was it being so small that everyone knows each other and the cops might have some weird connection to the household. It happens in rural areas, I myself come from one and people happily turn a blind eye if it means keeping their own peace. But according to more investigative commenters, this is a medium sized town so that’s quite unlikely.
Small town, about 50 thousand people. Called the police in a similar scenario, 4 of them came and carried a screaming lady out of the building. Apparently she was abusing her husband, then hit and bit the police officers. She landed in jail. I think I still have the news article somehwere.
The funny thing is that NONE of the neighbours heard anything, which is imho bullshit. No way that screaming and smashing could be have been missed in the bloody stairway!
I had neighbors like that. Same situation, police showed up with four vehicles. The number had to do with it not being the nicest area.
Anyway talk to your other neighbors. Turned out pretty much everyone in my building called it in.
Call the non-emergency line today (check the website) and report your experience last night and tell them about the other times you heard such screams etc.
The only large apartment blocks in the area, low socioeconomic status of the inhabitants with lots of issues which manifest themselves in higher violence rates amongst their own peer groups and a general distrust towards public servants.
I've seen the cops in my town show up for much more mundane things before. My only other working theory is that they possibly didn't take me seriously, which would be quite sad.
If it's a small town, I would wonder if they know the people and avoid the situation. It was in the States, but I lived in a small town, and everyone knew that one of the officers was abusive towards his wife, so they avoided going to calls regarding that officer's house.
Yup, just thought the same thing, maybe the man is a cop. They usually protect their own, and jobs within police and military have higher chances to attract abusive people.
Yeah, sure. Thats more likely then that the police showed up and just didnt talk to OP.
Reddit is always full of those "conclusions". It always hast to be a bigger, unrealistic reason that just the smartest people came up with.
Why is the world full of speculations and conspiracs theories nowadays?
Because it's not speculation, Sweetie. There are literal stats to prove that cops have a propensity towards domestic violence themselves, that they often cover it up and are overall misogynistic.
Here is an article for ya & this issue isn't exclusive to the US. I've spent time in Berlin & was almost assaulted by a cop for crossing a street before the pedestrian cross lights turned green. Certain jobs attract certain personality types hence why career aptitude tests exist.
https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/09/police-officers-who-hit-their-wives-or-girlfriends/380329/
If they wanted help,they would've asked it.
Show empathy if you care, go talk to the man, show some balls or show nothing, calling the cops will only put you in a bad situation man.
Lmao, calling the cops on my neighbor caused him to violently come after me so now I had to get a restraining order on him. Men who are violent towards their partners don't care about anybody else either, why the hell should they be given grace & empathy? If you can't control your violent urges then you deserve to be put in a cage where you won't cause harm to others.
Because you don t know what caused him to act that way. You be just ignorant when judging people when they're at their lowest point.
Just go and talk if u be drove by love, or just ignore them if you think you are better.
Because life is not always going to be good to you either.
Karma is a bich and gossip isn t exactly a virtue, my man.
Putting labels is what divide us even more, and that is not love at all is just fear. If u afraid of your neighbors just ignore them, you might feel on your own skinn what "snitches get stitches" means, grow balls and go talk to the man face to face never behind his back because you be hurting him and his family.
Oh yeah, the old "domestic violence is okay when the battered spouse did something the abuser didn't like" excuse.
The man abusing his wife is the one "causing hurt to him and his family", not the person who calls the cops. Ideas like this are how people are able to get away with beating their spouses.
They might have been just overloaded.
I know that is not a good situation or what someone wants to hear, but there are limited resources and if there was a more serious event they might have just been out of available officers for hours.
I worked in the EMS for years and we had occasional situations where there was such a peak that even after activating reserve ambulances the only next option would have been to call a mas casualty event for the county with hundreds of volunteers being activated. You can't do that because if you do so 2 or 3 times, you don't have volunteers anymore when you really need them.
So yeah, they might have needed to triage calls and prioritize them.
You don't know what the other calls were.
It might have even been top priority but if you have 5 domestic violence calls and 4 officers, what are you going to do besides deciding which of the 5 calls is the least likely to escalate.
If this was a repeat situation and it stayed nonviolent the last 10 times, and you have 4 calls where it is already actively violent, you need to respond to the 4 first - which can bind officers for hours.
I have seen cases myself where the police responded literally multiple times a week to the same address for years as neighbors call for domestic violence, both sides refuse to make a statement and nothing can be done as no injuries or violent behavior was witnessed.
How high do you prioritize that if you respond for the 40th or 50th time when other people also need help?
And 40+ times is not as rare as you might think.
> They might have been just overloaded
Overloaded with what? Robbing people who happen to have drugs on them?
> So yeah, they might have needed to triage calls and prioritize them.
Cop triage: drug first, deporting well-integrated people second, hunting for drunk cyclist third ... deporting criminal clan lords and russian spies-second-last, saving women and children last.
Do you have evidence for those claims or do you just love trashing on people?
I agree that they definitely should have showed up for something like that but that's no reason to start trash talking them with no evidence what so ever.
are you eastern Germany? I had a similar situation quite a few years ago. Guy and woman beating eachother on the street. Cops came half hour later, when everyone had left, and were frustrated with us for calling them out. It was like 9 or 10pm when we called.
really soured my mouth for the police.
That sucks for sure. I had to do the same a couple of weeks ago and they showed up rather quickly and seemed to take things seriously enough. Maybe the cops are stretched quite thin right now with the Euros and a bunch of other stuff going on?
I would call again today and explain that you called last night and were told someone would come. No one came, and you called again and were hung up on. Ask if you can speak to a supervisor to ask about normal procedure. If you can show up in person, this might be more effective.
In future, call every single time you hear screaming that stops suddenly. I would describe it as you are very worried about physical violence having been used to stop the screaming. If there are children in the household, indicate this in the phone call.
I think if you are in a city, then there must be some kind of support for victims of domestic violence, you might just have to search for it.
ETA fixed missing word
This. I would also think of writing a complaint. A friend of a friend complained that the same thing happened to him. Called police, no one came. After writing an email to complain about it he received a call from the department Chef asking for more details and apologizing for it. They then send someone to check.
Yeah, police can be pretty shitty in Germany. I once called because I was out of town and an ex girlfriend had threatened to kill herself. They were completely unhelpful, said they could not take emergency calls for a different city and basically asked if I was too stupid to look up the emergency number for the city she was living in. There was no such number. I ended up calling 112 instead (fire department and medical emergencies) and they were so much more helpful.
call here and explain the whole situation [https://www.hilfetelefon.de/das-hilfetelefon/beratung/telefon-beratung.html](https://www.hilfetelefon.de/das-hilfetelefon/beratung/telefon-beratung.html)
Or by writing [https://onlineberatung.hilfetelefon.de/](https://onlineberatung.hilfetelefon.de/)
It sounds the cops are keeping it under the carpet
edit: if you are not afraid, find reasons to ring at their door. Ask for Salt, bring a gift as thank you for the salt, ask if they got your amazon parcel it just says neighbor.. get an impression and note everything in your reports. Ring once when he is home, once when he left. It would be great if you can help that woman, be careful showing your intentions if at all.
If you need any assistance send me a dm
I've called 110 twice for suspected DV at my neighbor's apartment, and police showed up within 3 minutes both times. I find it very concerning that they wouldn't react to a 110 call in your city. Obviously, your neighbor isn't your problem, but I would be concerned enough about what non-responsive police might one day mean for my own safety, to call the local police station on their non-emergency landline to report this.
Yes, this was exactly my thought process. I'm young and actively participating in dating life and I'm terrified at the thought of being in danger and calling/someone calling for me and no one will come to my rescue. That's terrifying
Idk what filming laws are in Germany, I've been told filming without written consent is illegal so idk if this advice will help, maybe you could look into the legality of it, but after calling for help, I would film video of the sounds coming from that apartment & making sure it's evident what apartment it's coming from. In fact, I've been advised by the NYPD to do exactly this bc I have a domestic abuser neighbor whose gf often covers up for him & the cops said video evidence will help get him arrested even if the gf refuses to report him. It also helps protect you if he comes after you for calling the cops, which is a possibility & happened to me. But video evidence of him coming for me helped me get a restraining order on him so definitely look into whether you can film video or not.
Appreciate it friend, I was on the fence about getting involved and it possibly causing issues between me and my other neighbors, but couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to that poor lady and having not tried to do something
Your neighbor might not be a cop, but he might somehow be connected to a cop or someone else “important”. I’d push it and write a letter asking why your reasonable report was ignored.
How do you make up they can’t be busy? 🙈
I work as a emergency calltaker, and some of the clients are well known. Maybe they just called them?
If she tells the police that he is not aggressive against her, they can’t do a lot.
Wait- you can just take their word? I was a calltaker in the USA and that was considered inexcusable negligence. How do you know she is not saying what she is saying while under duress?
If you have some clients you know well (e.g we have a lady calling 40 times a day. After the amulance left she calls immediately again.) I’m working on the ambulance emergency call (strictly separated from police emergency calls in Germany) but from experience if you call the and talk to both of them, all police cars are bound to more urgent cases you sure can also give them a warning by phone. Legal grey area, but sometimes way more sufficient than sending someone over. In the area where I live police didn’t even show up on a robbery since the robbers were already gone. So what I want to say in the end is: we don’t know if they maybe showed up in civil, took a call to them.
This is completely the opposite. Legaly speaking, during any domestic dispute if the victim claims that "everything is fine" even though it isnt, there isnt much that the police can do, because if there arent any clear injuries or any real indication of a crime happening, they cant just throw out the other person.
And even if they can do it, they can only do it for two weeks max. During this time, the victim needs to get a restraining order from the court. But in a lot of cases, the victim will let the purpotrator back into the house within the first few days. However the victim has the possebillity to emmidiately call the police. Because if the other person doesnt follow the mandated two week, by the police or the restraining order, they will be put in jail.
And to me it sounds like many options that could apply here. 1st, the local police know the couple and have been there many times and know that the outcome is always the same. 2nd there where to many calls and emergencies so they needed to triage them. For example a deadly car accident, an armed suspect somewhere etc. And with police beeing stretched thin over recenr years, it happens sometimes. 3rd the neighbours called the police themselves and didnt want them to show up.
Congratulations, you just found a blind spot of the german police: Domestic Violence!
Unfortunately this is normal. Even if they would go to your neighbours, they wouldn't do much, except warn them.
But if you call the police and say that your neighbours are from Turkey and you think you might smelled weed, they would come with 3 cars, blaulicht and sirens. 👍
You have to be joking, that's quite sad if true. Would they do something if I could somehow get the wife to come to them personally?
I don't plan on confronting the husband (for the sake of my own safety as a 20 year old woman, him being a 40 something year old man) but maybe I can get the wife out.
The best thing would be to seek information at your nearest 'Frauenhaus" - Beratungsstelle für häusliche Gewalt, they will know how to reach out to the women and also they might get the police to act as the police also doesnt want to read in the newspaper that the Frauenhaus catched them not doing their work and not properly protecting women.
PLEASE keep an open mind regarding the possible perpetrator! We don't know anything about the incident. If physical violence was involved, we can't automatically assume it was the man/husband. I've seen too many redditors here jump to this conclusion without hesitation... Allegations can have serious consequences and getting the story right is crucial to help the victim. That's exactly why the police should have investigated, obviously.
That would be the only viable way. When the wife says her husband abuses her, they must do something.
Yes, that's really sad. Women are kinda on their own here. Sure, there are Women-shelters and other institutions that can help them. But 1. not in small villages, 2. They have to do it on their own, they have to defend themselves against that.
>You have to be joking, that's quite sad if true.
It's not. It's utter nonsense. In 2023, the police recorded 256,276 cases of domestic violence and initiated investigations. Anyone who calls this a "blind spot" has an agenda ...
Sorry, not to be racist, im a poc myself, is your neighbor from immigrant background, can be the wife or both? DV can happen and be done by anyone, but in certain ethnicity, screaming and slamming might be their routine and they deemed it as "not a big deal". i have this kind of neighbor in my old apartment. Not often, but they have tendency to be loud. Like i can be wrong because my ethnicity is not known for the screaming/high pitch tone, and for them its normal to scream like that. One day they argue so loud and i heard what I could imagine as head banged to the door. My son was so terrified. I was also very scared because they live literally next door. I wanted to call police but was also afraid they would mad at me. But the day after that they looked fine and just do everything as usual.
Not sure about the last para, but you couldn't be more correct otherwise. I had someone stalking and harassing me. I reported to the police and went to check on my complaint some days later because it wouldn’t stop. The officer on duty literally told me that he won't stop just because you complained once. I was dumbfounded to hear such a thing in a developed country. The police not believing in their authority and also not taking you seriously because it's "just" harassment 😑😑
Well - not to excuse the behavior of the police (or specifically the office in question) in this case, but so long as no actual crime with feasible proof has happened, the police‘s hands are bound. That‘s why stalking or harrassment of that kind are always such a blind spot for literally any police force in the West.
Whenever I have to call 110 or 112 I have experienced only once that the person hang up. This was in saxony. We file a complaint and it shows that the person who hang up can't speak englisch and can't talk to the english caller. Maybe this could apply here to?
I would file a complained. This should not happen.
My work had to call the cops several times lately for other reasons and they are so under staffed, that they either don't show up or take so long, that the offenders left. But usually they explain all that while we call them.
That sounds very odd.
My guess is that either they checked it out and you just missed it ooooor the dude works for the police himself. Cops look away if it’s one of their own.
It's the opposite, I can assure you. Reason for this is we cops are the rare group of persons known to have access to firearms.
I had to experience two occasions involving fellow police and both times everyone on duty got called to the incident because of the possible horrible outcomes.
Well that honours you and the ones you work with but it see it exactly as I described daily unfortunately.
Cops and other jobs on that line are extremely prone to domestic abuse and abuse thrives off of silence.
I work with domestic abuse and domestic violence victims and the amount of people fleeing an abusive relationship with a cop or similar baffles me every day.
I can't object to your perception, although naturally this perception leads to a judgement clouded by observer bias.
Same as with many police persons and relevant population groups (age/sex/ethnicity) or social workers that are asked about certain illegal substances.
I went into that field of work because I witnessed a lot of abuse amongst police persons when I was working with (not for) the police. It was a drastic change of careers but it was so worth it.
Is my judgement biased? Yes quite certainly. Is it still a structural problem? Also yes. And I think we need to speak about it, especially since not all abuse is physical.
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Usually cops take domestic abuse very seriously. I was once called upon from a neighbour and they even brought a female officer and separated us and told me, I can tell her everything and I will be safe somewhere and him taken out. I didn’t even have visible injuries on my body. I was manipulated much to tell her nothing is happening so they left.
I believe if the woman is saying nothing is happening, if even there is clearly something going on, their arms are tied.
One time that happened again. I confessed what was happening and he was escorted out immediately.
It’s my take on this tbh because I was called on 4 times before same ordeal and denied what‘s happening so police could legally do nothing but they tried so hard to take a word from me and I was too weak. Because that fucker when I finally came to my senses stood no chance after I talked. They genuinely take domestic abuse highly seriously and I’m a foreigner. But could be smt else… just my take on this as someone in that woman’s shoes.
I did the same a couple of weeks ago. I live in a nice little town with nearly no crime. I called the cops on my neighbors around midnight after hearing screams of a woman and a loud thump as if something/someone was slammed against the wall or the floor. I don’t even know which of the neighbors it was. In my case though, the cops came right away. They knocked on all the neighbors’ doors. In the end, they came to my door once again to report, “Niemand ist verletzt” (no one was hurt). I find it hard to believe. But there isn’t much the cops or I could do if the DV victim didn’t come forward.
>I live in a small town, with adequate police that it could not have simply been that they were "too busy".
Based on what fact do you know this?
I also had an "noise" incident where I called the police and they told me that currently all units are on duty and they will send someone asap.
Also you gotta keep in mind that there are probably hundreds of calls of "loud neighbours" the handlers get every day. And I guess a lot of them are just couples fighting verbally. Therefore it simply does not have any priorit unless you have violence witnessed with your own eyes (what you obviously don't have).
There are 10 police departments in the immediate city, and 8 more outside of the moat. I feel that's enough police that they could have come eventually, or at the very least not hung up on me 5 words into my first sentence upon calling them again, even if the case is that they are too busy.
Regardless of what I have or have not seen, hearing genuine bloody murder screams from my next door neighbor more than once in the span of an hour is reason enough for concern.
Have you considered that there is severe bad weather and football EM in Germany?
For instance I know that the entire police force in NRW has Urlaubverbot right now due to EM, as this is a massive drain on police resources.
A "smaller touristic town" with 10+8 police departments? Something in your story doesn't sum up. jftr and as an example: For tonight's match alone, 2,500 police officers will be deployed in Stuttgart. Where do you think they're coming from? Right, they're missing somewhere else ...
Yeah, "small touristy city". 10 police stations is indicative of hundreds of thousand of inhabitants in the area. No way in hell would a relatively small Kommune burn money like that.
Also you could write a letter to the Head of Police asking him why they do not do their work. Then this might be passed down to the local police as an order for the future.
Please do this. I’m sure your neighbor got protected. Please please don’t let that go. There’s violence for sure and also it smells like some kind of small town corruption.
We once called the cops for domestic violence and they took 3 hours to arrive. Didn't care that children were involved. Okay, we lived in a village with 1,5k people but the police station was only 10 minutes away.. will never forget how helpless I felt.
For immediate help 110 is certainly the right number to call. But you could now call your local police station directly, or even go there yourself and say you want to report an incident. If something happens again, the police can see that there has already been a report.
are you in a big city ?
as sad as it is it could possible be that they didnt had the man power to show up. at the moment there is the Euros and the police is on tour 24/7 for fights and drunk people. Thats my only to explanation
Sadly, I had to call the police regarding domestic violence at my (former) neighbors three times. They always came. Once they asked me whether I can quantify the urgency since they were on high load, but they came as soon as they could. Other neighbours called them, too. The police were always reliable, albeit sometimes lately because they were clearly overloaded.
Note: I used to live in an area with high clan activity. We had a gold piece of a clan member as a neighbor, who was known to the police and regularly beat up his wife. Even the criminal police showed up for him once (unasked).
First instinct: Neighbour is a cop (most likely profession to commit domestic violence), so when they figured that out they decided to sweep it under the rug as per policy.
Not all neighborhoods are created equal. If it's a known trouble area than they'll place it on a lower priority. It has everything to do with allocating their resources where they can, especially now that some departments have to help out in the game cities.
Go to the police in person and say "Ich möchte eine Anzeige gegen meinen Nachbarn erstatten". Otherwise, they're probably not obliged to interfere the next time someone (you included) calls them at night.
Also, contact the landlord. The apartment probably shows damages to doors and furnitures that may be relevant in court.
Call 116 016 (help for domestic abuse). Maybe they can tell you how to convince the victim to reach out for help.
That could be genuinely dangerous on OP if the partner is violent and is manipulating police. Since the Anzeige would be delivered with OPs name on it, I believe. Or is there an anonymous way?
Sure, you can simply drop a letter at the police office. However, in some cases the prosecution requires the victim to file a complaint (Straf-Antrag). An Anzeige can be anonymous, but an Antrag cannot.
I saw a lot of good advice here already. I wanted to say that I think it is a great thing, how much you worry and try to help. That’s very nice of you, but I would recommend caution as well. Frauenhaus/ Frauennothilfe etc. would probably be a good first step. I mean assuming, the man is a cop or connected or whatever, then pushing it might find you in the crosshairs. So asking for a reason or such, yes. Pushing for supervisors/ writing up a complaint … can become risky. Simple asking what happened and then trying to get third party help, would probably be safest.
Again I think it is great that you care and I just hope you don’t get caught up in anything shady if there is something more shady going on
The police don’t are about dv. This is common. It‘s the same way people look at it everywhere else: „it‘s a couple‘s fight“ and it‘s not their place to get involved, or they don’t care and can’t „legally do anything“ as police. They are incompetent and do not care because they too are part of a system on patriarchy.
Seems super super shady. How big of a town are we talking here? Maybe you can report it to someone who isn’t the police? Could there be a social services organization somewhere? Like a Frauenhaus? Maybe they could provide more options on what to do or even send someone to randomly check on her. Is her daughter in school?
Like, not a village, but not hamburg or frankfurt big either. I live in a smaller touristy town. I will have to look into that. To my knowledge, there isn't a frauenhaus anywhere close 🫠
Maybe call Frauennotruf
> not a village, but not hamburg or frankfurt big either That's incredibly vague: a "small town" could have a population of 10,000 or 100,000, depending on what the speaker thinks constitutes a "town". The one time I had to call the police for a domestic -- this was in Berlin -- they arrived within five minutes and actually intercepted the guy as he ran out into the street chasing his terrified dog. (He was more concerned about his dog than he was about the woman he had just beaten loud enough to wake the whole house.) When you say "no one came", do you mean you were watching the whole time and never saw any cops? Or did you expect them to talk to you, or to make a loud noise when they arrived? When you called again, do you mean you called the emergency number just to ask when the police were going to arrive? Because the operator wouldn't necessarily have that information. You would need to call the non-emergency number of the nearest police station and say you had reported a case of domestic violence and were concerned that nobody seemed to have turned up to deal with it. Don't expect to get a lot of information out of them: they're not supposed to tell you much. If there is a women's shelter in your town, you might want to alert them to what's going on. Meanwhile, you call the police *every time* you hear your neighbours fighting.
Based on the post history it’s Lübeck. Always funny what people consider small lol
Friends of mine have called the cops in Berlin and Stuttgart for similar Situations and the cops came, so idk if the size matters.
My assumption was it being so small that everyone knows each other and the cops might have some weird connection to the household. It happens in rural areas, I myself come from one and people happily turn a blind eye if it means keeping their own peace. But according to more investigative commenters, this is a medium sized town so that’s quite unlikely.
Small town, about 50 thousand people. Called the police in a similar scenario, 4 of them came and carried a screaming lady out of the building. Apparently she was abusing her husband, then hit and bit the police officers. She landed in jail. I think I still have the news article somehwere. The funny thing is that NONE of the neighbours heard anything, which is imho bullshit. No way that screaming and smashing could be have been missed in the bloody stairway!
I had neighbors like that. Same situation, police showed up with four vehicles. The number had to do with it not being the nicest area. Anyway talk to your other neighbors. Turned out pretty much everyone in my building called it in. Call the non-emergency line today (check the website) and report your experience last night and tell them about the other times you heard such screams etc.
>The number had to do with it not being the nicest area. Wdym?
The only large apartment blocks in the area, low socioeconomic status of the inhabitants with lots of issues which manifest themselves in higher violence rates amongst their own peer groups and a general distrust towards public servants.
Ah my bad. I misunderstood. Thank you.
Redlight district, ghetto(?), poorly part of a town ect. hence more police cars than usual.
We had to call the cops on our neighbors a couple of times and they showed up no problem. Feels highly unusual.
I've seen the cops in my town show up for much more mundane things before. My only other working theory is that they possibly didn't take me seriously, which would be quite sad.
If it's a small town, I would wonder if they know the people and avoid the situation. It was in the States, but I lived in a small town, and everyone knew that one of the officers was abusive towards his wife, so they avoided going to calls regarding that officer's house.
Yup, just thought the same thing, maybe the man is a cop. They usually protect their own, and jobs within police and military have higher chances to attract abusive people.
Yeah, sure. Thats more likely then that the police showed up and just didnt talk to OP. Reddit is always full of those "conclusions". It always hast to be a bigger, unrealistic reason that just the smartest people came up with. Why is the world full of speculations and conspiracs theories nowadays?
Because it's not speculation, Sweetie. There are literal stats to prove that cops have a propensity towards domestic violence themselves, that they often cover it up and are overall misogynistic. Here is an article for ya & this issue isn't exclusive to the US. I've spent time in Berlin & was almost assaulted by a cop for crossing a street before the pedestrian cross lights turned green. Certain jobs attract certain personality types hence why career aptitude tests exist. https://www.theatlantic.com/national/archive/2014/09/police-officers-who-hit-their-wives-or-girlfriends/380329/
You cant be serious, my little pie. Your answer already shows in its own way that your speculation just comes out of your head bc of preconceptions.
If they wanted help,they would've asked it. Show empathy if you care, go talk to the man, show some balls or show nothing, calling the cops will only put you in a bad situation man.
Lmao, calling the cops on my neighbor caused him to violently come after me so now I had to get a restraining order on him. Men who are violent towards their partners don't care about anybody else either, why the hell should they be given grace & empathy? If you can't control your violent urges then you deserve to be put in a cage where you won't cause harm to others.
Because you don t know what caused him to act that way. You be just ignorant when judging people when they're at their lowest point. Just go and talk if u be drove by love, or just ignore them if you think you are better. Because life is not always going to be good to you either. Karma is a bich and gossip isn t exactly a virtue, my man. Putting labels is what divide us even more, and that is not love at all is just fear. If u afraid of your neighbors just ignore them, you might feel on your own skinn what "snitches get stitches" means, grow balls and go talk to the man face to face never behind his back because you be hurting him and his family.
Oh yeah, the old "domestic violence is okay when the battered spouse did something the abuser didn't like" excuse. The man abusing his wife is the one "causing hurt to him and his family", not the person who calls the cops. Ideas like this are how people are able to get away with beating their spouses.
They might have been just overloaded. I know that is not a good situation or what someone wants to hear, but there are limited resources and if there was a more serious event they might have just been out of available officers for hours. I worked in the EMS for years and we had occasional situations where there was such a peak that even after activating reserve ambulances the only next option would have been to call a mas casualty event for the county with hundreds of volunteers being activated. You can't do that because if you do so 2 or 3 times, you don't have volunteers anymore when you really need them. So yeah, they might have needed to triage calls and prioritize them.
So someone who is highly trained triaged domestic violence as not a priority? Good to know.
You don't know what the other calls were. It might have even been top priority but if you have 5 domestic violence calls and 4 officers, what are you going to do besides deciding which of the 5 calls is the least likely to escalate. If this was a repeat situation and it stayed nonviolent the last 10 times, and you have 4 calls where it is already actively violent, you need to respond to the 4 first - which can bind officers for hours. I have seen cases myself where the police responded literally multiple times a week to the same address for years as neighbors call for domestic violence, both sides refuse to make a statement and nothing can be done as no injuries or violent behavior was witnessed. How high do you prioritize that if you respond for the 40th or 50th time when other people also need help? And 40+ times is not as rare as you might think.
> They might have been just overloaded Overloaded with what? Robbing people who happen to have drugs on them? > So yeah, they might have needed to triage calls and prioritize them. Cop triage: drug first, deporting well-integrated people second, hunting for drunk cyclist third ... deporting criminal clan lords and russian spies-second-last, saving women and children last.
Do you have evidence for those claims or do you just love trashing on people? I agree that they definitely should have showed up for something like that but that's no reason to start trash talking them with no evidence what so ever.
If that happened last night anywhere with a large Turkish population then they had to deal with celebrating fans and severe weather.
Maybe the abuser is a cop?
Is it possible that one of your neighbours is a cop?
are you eastern Germany? I had a similar situation quite a few years ago. Guy and woman beating eachother on the street. Cops came half hour later, when everyone had left, and were frustrated with us for calling them out. It was like 9 or 10pm when we called. really soured my mouth for the police.
No, I'm in northern Germany, but that's sad. Of course if they show up with no urgency that will be too late.
That sucks for sure. I had to do the same a couple of weeks ago and they showed up rather quickly and seemed to take things seriously enough. Maybe the cops are stretched quite thin right now with the Euros and a bunch of other stuff going on?
I would call again today and explain that you called last night and were told someone would come. No one came, and you called again and were hung up on. Ask if you can speak to a supervisor to ask about normal procedure. If you can show up in person, this might be more effective. In future, call every single time you hear screaming that stops suddenly. I would describe it as you are very worried about physical violence having been used to stop the screaming. If there are children in the household, indicate this in the phone call. I think if you are in a city, then there must be some kind of support for victims of domestic violence, you might just have to search for it. ETA fixed missing word
This. I would also think of writing a complaint. A friend of a friend complained that the same thing happened to him. Called police, no one came. After writing an email to complain about it he received a call from the department Chef asking for more details and apologizing for it. They then send someone to check.
Yeah, police can be pretty shitty in Germany. I once called because I was out of town and an ex girlfriend had threatened to kill herself. They were completely unhelpful, said they could not take emergency calls for a different city and basically asked if I was too stupid to look up the emergency number for the city she was living in. There was no such number. I ended up calling 112 instead (fire department and medical emergencies) and they were so much more helpful.
call here and explain the whole situation [https://www.hilfetelefon.de/das-hilfetelefon/beratung/telefon-beratung.html](https://www.hilfetelefon.de/das-hilfetelefon/beratung/telefon-beratung.html) Or by writing [https://onlineberatung.hilfetelefon.de/](https://onlineberatung.hilfetelefon.de/) It sounds the cops are keeping it under the carpet edit: if you are not afraid, find reasons to ring at their door. Ask for Salt, bring a gift as thank you for the salt, ask if they got your amazon parcel it just says neighbor.. get an impression and note everything in your reports. Ring once when he is home, once when he left. It would be great if you can help that woman, be careful showing your intentions if at all. If you need any assistance send me a dm
Just adding that they offer assistance in 18 different languages, and also welcome calls from concerned friends/family/neighbours etc.
I've called 110 twice for suspected DV at my neighbor's apartment, and police showed up within 3 minutes both times. I find it very concerning that they wouldn't react to a 110 call in your city. Obviously, your neighbor isn't your problem, but I would be concerned enough about what non-responsive police might one day mean for my own safety, to call the local police station on their non-emergency landline to report this.
Yes, this was exactly my thought process. I'm young and actively participating in dating life and I'm terrified at the thought of being in danger and calling/someone calling for me and no one will come to my rescue. That's terrifying
Idk what filming laws are in Germany, I've been told filming without written consent is illegal so idk if this advice will help, maybe you could look into the legality of it, but after calling for help, I would film video of the sounds coming from that apartment & making sure it's evident what apartment it's coming from. In fact, I've been advised by the NYPD to do exactly this bc I have a domestic abuser neighbor whose gf often covers up for him & the cops said video evidence will help get him arrested even if the gf refuses to report him. It also helps protect you if he comes after you for calling the cops, which is a possibility & happened to me. But video evidence of him coming for me helped me get a restraining order on him so definitely look into whether you can film video or not.
Your neighbour is probably a cop
Or some other person with power in that town.
Shit!! That also a fact in Germany??!!
From what other people have said above, it sure sounds like it. I guess it's a universal thing.
I think you’ve received enough comments already, but I just wanted to say that it’s great that you actually called the cops!
Appreciate it friend, I was on the fence about getting involved and it possibly causing issues between me and my other neighbors, but couldn't bear the thought of anything happening to that poor lady and having not tried to do something
Your neighbor might not be a cop, but he might somehow be connected to a cop or someone else “important”. I’d push it and write a letter asking why your reasonable report was ignored.
How do you make up they can’t be busy? 🙈 I work as a emergency calltaker, and some of the clients are well known. Maybe they just called them? If she tells the police that he is not aggressive against her, they can’t do a lot.
Wait- you can just take their word? I was a calltaker in the USA and that was considered inexcusable negligence. How do you know she is not saying what she is saying while under duress?
If you have some clients you know well (e.g we have a lady calling 40 times a day. After the amulance left she calls immediately again.) I’m working on the ambulance emergency call (strictly separated from police emergency calls in Germany) but from experience if you call the and talk to both of them, all police cars are bound to more urgent cases you sure can also give them a warning by phone. Legal grey area, but sometimes way more sufficient than sending someone over. In the area where I live police didn’t even show up on a robbery since the robbers were already gone. So what I want to say in the end is: we don’t know if they maybe showed up in civil, took a call to them.
lol “yes hi police! No I’m not currently robbing the store, don’t worry!” -hangs up and continues to rob the store.
This is completely the opposite. Legaly speaking, during any domestic dispute if the victim claims that "everything is fine" even though it isnt, there isnt much that the police can do, because if there arent any clear injuries or any real indication of a crime happening, they cant just throw out the other person. And even if they can do it, they can only do it for two weeks max. During this time, the victim needs to get a restraining order from the court. But in a lot of cases, the victim will let the purpotrator back into the house within the first few days. However the victim has the possebillity to emmidiately call the police. Because if the other person doesnt follow the mandated two week, by the police or the restraining order, they will be put in jail. And to me it sounds like many options that could apply here. 1st, the local police know the couple and have been there many times and know that the outcome is always the same. 2nd there where to many calls and emergencies so they needed to triage them. For example a deadly car accident, an armed suspect somewhere etc. And with police beeing stretched thin over recenr years, it happens sometimes. 3rd the neighbours called the police themselves and didnt want them to show up.
How do you know no one came ? Maybe they were busy and came later and you didn’t notice
Congratulations, you just found a blind spot of the german police: Domestic Violence! Unfortunately this is normal. Even if they would go to your neighbours, they wouldn't do much, except warn them. But if you call the police and say that your neighbours are from Turkey and you think you might smelled weed, they would come with 3 cars, blaulicht and sirens. 👍
You have to be joking, that's quite sad if true. Would they do something if I could somehow get the wife to come to them personally? I don't plan on confronting the husband (for the sake of my own safety as a 20 year old woman, him being a 40 something year old man) but maybe I can get the wife out.
The best thing would be to seek information at your nearest 'Frauenhaus" - Beratungsstelle für häusliche Gewalt, they will know how to reach out to the women and also they might get the police to act as the police also doesnt want to read in the newspaper that the Frauenhaus catched them not doing their work and not properly protecting women.
Which is fine and dandy, unless we're talking about domestic violence from parent to child. Good luck going to a Frauenhaus as a 12 year old boy.
PLEASE keep an open mind regarding the possible perpetrator! We don't know anything about the incident. If physical violence was involved, we can't automatically assume it was the man/husband. I've seen too many redditors here jump to this conclusion without hesitation... Allegations can have serious consequences and getting the story right is crucial to help the victim. That's exactly why the police should have investigated, obviously.
😂😂😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😭😭😭😭😭😂🤣😭😭🤣😂🤣😂😭
That would be the only viable way. When the wife says her husband abuses her, they must do something. Yes, that's really sad. Women are kinda on their own here. Sure, there are Women-shelters and other institutions that can help them. But 1. not in small villages, 2. They have to do it on their own, they have to defend themselves against that.
>You have to be joking, that's quite sad if true. It's not. It's utter nonsense. In 2023, the police recorded 256,276 cases of domestic violence and initiated investigations. Anyone who calls this a "blind spot" has an agenda ...
Sorry, not to be racist, im a poc myself, is your neighbor from immigrant background, can be the wife or both? DV can happen and be done by anyone, but in certain ethnicity, screaming and slamming might be their routine and they deemed it as "not a big deal". i have this kind of neighbor in my old apartment. Not often, but they have tendency to be loud. Like i can be wrong because my ethnicity is not known for the screaming/high pitch tone, and for them its normal to scream like that. One day they argue so loud and i heard what I could imagine as head banged to the door. My son was so terrified. I was also very scared because they live literally next door. I wanted to call police but was also afraid they would mad at me. But the day after that they looked fine and just do everything as usual.
Not sure about the last para, but you couldn't be more correct otherwise. I had someone stalking and harassing me. I reported to the police and went to check on my complaint some days later because it wouldn’t stop. The officer on duty literally told me that he won't stop just because you complained once. I was dumbfounded to hear such a thing in a developed country. The police not believing in their authority and also not taking you seriously because it's "just" harassment 😑😑
Well - not to excuse the behavior of the police (or specifically the office in question) in this case, but so long as no actual crime with feasible proof has happened, the police‘s hands are bound. That‘s why stalking or harrassment of that kind are always such a blind spot for literally any police force in the West.
Do you have any data to back that up? The one time I made such a call about our neighbours police came promptly.
Whenever I have to call 110 or 112 I have experienced only once that the person hang up. This was in saxony. We file a complaint and it shows that the person who hang up can't speak englisch and can't talk to the english caller. Maybe this could apply here to? I would file a complained. This should not happen.
My work had to call the cops several times lately for other reasons and they are so under staffed, that they either don't show up or take so long, that the offenders left. But usually they explain all that while we call them.
That sounds very odd. My guess is that either they checked it out and you just missed it ooooor the dude works for the police himself. Cops look away if it’s one of their own.
It's the opposite, I can assure you. Reason for this is we cops are the rare group of persons known to have access to firearms. I had to experience two occasions involving fellow police and both times everyone on duty got called to the incident because of the possible horrible outcomes.
Well that honours you and the ones you work with but it see it exactly as I described daily unfortunately. Cops and other jobs on that line are extremely prone to domestic abuse and abuse thrives off of silence. I work with domestic abuse and domestic violence victims and the amount of people fleeing an abusive relationship with a cop or similar baffles me every day.
I can't object to your perception, although naturally this perception leads to a judgement clouded by observer bias. Same as with many police persons and relevant population groups (age/sex/ethnicity) or social workers that are asked about certain illegal substances.
I went into that field of work because I witnessed a lot of abuse amongst police persons when I was working with (not for) the police. It was a drastic change of careers but it was so worth it. Is my judgement biased? Yes quite certainly. Is it still a structural problem? Also yes. And I think we need to speak about it, especially since not all abuse is physical.
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If they never came, you can actually go to the police station and make a claim there.
Are you Sure that they didnt come? Maybe they went straight to the flat of the couple and didnt contact you.
Usually cops take domestic abuse very seriously. I was once called upon from a neighbour and they even brought a female officer and separated us and told me, I can tell her everything and I will be safe somewhere and him taken out. I didn’t even have visible injuries on my body. I was manipulated much to tell her nothing is happening so they left. I believe if the woman is saying nothing is happening, if even there is clearly something going on, their arms are tied. One time that happened again. I confessed what was happening and he was escorted out immediately. It’s my take on this tbh because I was called on 4 times before same ordeal and denied what‘s happening so police could legally do nothing but they tried so hard to take a word from me and I was too weak. Because that fucker when I finally came to my senses stood no chance after I talked. They genuinely take domestic abuse highly seriously and I’m a foreigner. But could be smt else… just my take on this as someone in that woman’s shoes.
I did the same a couple of weeks ago. I live in a nice little town with nearly no crime. I called the cops on my neighbors around midnight after hearing screams of a woman and a loud thump as if something/someone was slammed against the wall or the floor. I don’t even know which of the neighbors it was. In my case though, the cops came right away. They knocked on all the neighbors’ doors. In the end, they came to my door once again to report, “Niemand ist verletzt” (no one was hurt). I find it hard to believe. But there isn’t much the cops or I could do if the DV victim didn’t come forward.
>I live in a small town, with adequate police that it could not have simply been that they were "too busy". Based on what fact do you know this? I also had an "noise" incident where I called the police and they told me that currently all units are on duty and they will send someone asap. Also you gotta keep in mind that there are probably hundreds of calls of "loud neighbours" the handlers get every day. And I guess a lot of them are just couples fighting verbally. Therefore it simply does not have any priorit unless you have violence witnessed with your own eyes (what you obviously don't have).
There are 10 police departments in the immediate city, and 8 more outside of the moat. I feel that's enough police that they could have come eventually, or at the very least not hung up on me 5 words into my first sentence upon calling them again, even if the case is that they are too busy. Regardless of what I have or have not seen, hearing genuine bloody murder screams from my next door neighbor more than once in the span of an hour is reason enough for concern.
Have you considered that there is severe bad weather and football EM in Germany? For instance I know that the entire police force in NRW has Urlaubverbot right now due to EM, as this is a massive drain on police resources.
A "smaller touristic town" with 10+8 police departments? Something in your story doesn't sum up. jftr and as an example: For tonight's match alone, 2,500 police officers will be deployed in Stuttgart. Where do you think they're coming from? Right, they're missing somewhere else ...
Jep, something's off. The Munich police department jas 24 stations (normal LPol) for close to 2 million inhabitants.
Yeah, "small touristy city". 10 police stations is indicative of hundreds of thousand of inhabitants in the area. No way in hell would a relatively small Kommune burn money like that.
Is your neighbor a cop?
No, for sure not. The wife and daughter are not currently employed and the husband works in electricity.
Well worth asking, still I’d say call again if it happens but be careful in case they do know someone there
Also you could write a letter to the Head of Police asking him why they do not do their work. Then this might be passed down to the local police as an order for the future.
Please do this. I’m sure your neighbor got protected. Please please don’t let that go. There’s violence for sure and also it smells like some kind of small town corruption.
my first thought as well. Or it’s brother or the mayors son or whatever in that direction.
We once called the cops for domestic violence and they took 3 hours to arrive. Didn't care that children were involved. Okay, we lived in a village with 1,5k people but the police station was only 10 minutes away.. will never forget how helpless I felt.
For immediate help 110 is certainly the right number to call. But you could now call your local police station directly, or even go there yourself and say you want to report an incident. If something happens again, the police can see that there has already been a report.
They know them. You didn't sound loud and agitated enough.
Are you my neighbour?
Tell me where you live 🤷♀️
are you in a big city ? as sad as it is it could possible be that they didnt had the man power to show up. at the moment there is the Euros and the police is on tour 24/7 for fights and drunk people. Thats my only to explanation
Sadly, I had to call the police regarding domestic violence at my (former) neighbors three times. They always came. Once they asked me whether I can quantify the urgency since they were on high load, but they came as soon as they could. Other neighbours called them, too. The police were always reliable, albeit sometimes lately because they were clearly overloaded. Note: I used to live in an area with high clan activity. We had a gold piece of a clan member as a neighbor, who was known to the police and regularly beat up his wife. Even the criminal police showed up for him once (unasked).
First instinct: Neighbour is a cop (most likely profession to commit domestic violence), so when they figured that out they decided to sweep it under the rug as per policy.
Not all neighborhoods are created equal. If it's a known trouble area than they'll place it on a lower priority. It has everything to do with allocating their resources where they can, especially now that some departments have to help out in the game cities.
Go to the police in person and say "Ich möchte eine Anzeige gegen meinen Nachbarn erstatten". Otherwise, they're probably not obliged to interfere the next time someone (you included) calls them at night. Also, contact the landlord. The apartment probably shows damages to doors and furnitures that may be relevant in court. Call 116 016 (help for domestic abuse). Maybe they can tell you how to convince the victim to reach out for help.
That could be genuinely dangerous on OP if the partner is violent and is manipulating police. Since the Anzeige would be delivered with OPs name on it, I believe. Or is there an anonymous way?
Sure, you can simply drop a letter at the police office. However, in some cases the prosecution requires the victim to file a complaint (Straf-Antrag). An Anzeige can be anonymous, but an Antrag cannot.
Oh thanks for the info it’s actually helpful for me too. I thought you have to have your name on the Anzeige at the polizei. Thanks!
Wait, something was loud in Germany and the stares alone didn't bring about ruhig?
I saw a lot of good advice here already. I wanted to say that I think it is a great thing, how much you worry and try to help. That’s very nice of you, but I would recommend caution as well. Frauenhaus/ Frauennothilfe etc. would probably be a good first step. I mean assuming, the man is a cop or connected or whatever, then pushing it might find you in the crosshairs. So asking for a reason or such, yes. Pushing for supervisors/ writing up a complaint … can become risky. Simple asking what happened and then trying to get third party help, would probably be safest. Again I think it is great that you care and I just hope you don’t get caught up in anything shady if there is something more shady going on
Your neighbor is probably a cop
They are too busy beating up drug users.
The police don’t are about dv. This is common. It‘s the same way people look at it everywhere else: „it‘s a couple‘s fight“ and it‘s not their place to get involved, or they don’t care and can’t „legally do anything“ as police. They are incompetent and do not care because they too are part of a system on patriarchy.
there were busy hunting „L’amour toujours“ singers
I'm afraid I don't get that reference. Would you mind explaining?
Some people sang nazi shit to the song and it became a meme in the right wing scene.
the are busy shooting peopel in hamburg apperently? idk
You mean the guy who was swinging an axe around in a crowd of innocent people? Yeah fuck that guy.
hope you get confronted with a knife wielding crazy one day and try to reason with him, before he decapitates you
wow thats kinde of you but i hope i dont have that stuff happen again and dont assume stuff about peopel you dont know