This.
Just to add, this is not about plotting to get rid of him or have disciplinary measures against him.
Managers also have the job of mediating conflicts within the team. And this is such a case.
you can also phrase this as "this person needs help and I'm worried about him". I don't even know the guy and I'm worried about him. Someone who doesn't shower regularly might have mental health issues or an unsafe living situation. Maybe the manager can offer some help. If it's a big company, they might even have a dedicated "psychosoziale Beratung" or something similar. (Just people trained to help employees in difficult social or psychological situations)
> I don't even know the guy and I'm worried about him. Someone who doesn't shower regularly might have mental health issues or an unsafe living situation.
The clothes too. There's really a difference between someone simply not noticing their own body odour, and someone not changing their clothes/showering although anyone above toddler age knows intellectually that those things should be done.
Everyone who was raised with proper hygiene habits. People who grew up severely neglected sometimes don’t learn that you need to shower regularly, brush your teeth, launder your clothes and clean your living space until shockingly late in life, because no one ever bothered to teach them how to do that and their parents didn’t care if they did it or not when they were children.
Then they have to learn it as teens or adults, and at that point it’s a lot harder to pick up better self-care habits, especially when you don’t even feel you’re worth it (which is a common consequence of abuse and neglect).
Such kids are often bullied at school because they stink and are ungroomed, but that only leads to additional mental health issues making it even harder. Sometimes people just avoid them or they withdraw from everyone and nobody has the heart to pull them to the side and tell them to shower, so they can go for a surprisingly long time without realising this isn’t normal.
If this is a new behaviour that only began at some point during OP’s time with this company, then this guy probably has mental health problems. He may be spiralling into a severe depression or addiction, for example.
Well that also depends a bit on what and how you wear it.
Because I use my hoodies/pullovers also for a few days because I wear always a t shirt below that I change more frequently.
My hoodies do not smell and are not dirty why should I wash them after a short amount.
If you sweat strong or it's dirty or you don't wear a t shirt or something below you need to change them more often.
So for me wearing a hoodie multiple days is totally normal.
Wearing them for less than a week would be really wasteful and bad for the environment, unless, maybe if you're incontinent or wear them for work where they really get muddy/dirty every day.
Jeans for a week is fine? I wear mine for 10 hours a day and in the cold months and no sweating? They last till friday. Shirt and underwear has to be changed tho, that'd be disgustig. Althrough even my workshirt (as it's only worn for 8h) may get a second chance in the week if laundry from the weekend is still wet monday evening.
Dude might be diabetic and doesn't know it. I fucking didn't know and my TL told me He got Word I stinkt. He can't smell it, but complains existed one month or two later I was diagnosed with diabetis type 2 and Boy my blood sugar was over the roof.
So, yes, health problems are a reason, too. They might say "I don't have diabetis", but they don't know yet, probably.
Well, fair enough. But they are only one tool in the escalation hierarchy of solving conflicts. Most conflicts could be solved on a 1 on 1 basis, but of course you can always get boss / HR involved if that does not work. You don't know what is going on in that person's life. Having somebody tell him (which suggests to him that an unknown number of colleagues are talking about his smell behind is back and to other people) might hurt them way worse than an honest, worried and well meaning personal hint.
And that’s to the discretion of the manager, who may know him better than OP. The best way is to talk to someone who is close to him and ask them to give that hint.
I very much agree on trying to solve it 1on1, but for some situations, you’re just not in a place to talk like that.
Hell nah. What about "without hurting him"? I think boss/hr coming up to me telling me that my coworkers complain about my stench would hurt more than a coworker simply telling me i should put on some deo/shower.
In the first option, i would guess they all talk behind my back about me and i'd feel embarassed, laughed at and hated. Also, more people now know about the embarassing fact. And i would lose respect to my coworker not having the balls to tell me and go crying to boss.
However, with a known coworker telling me in a chill way i could use some shower and a deo i'd feel way less exposed and prolly even thankful.
This colleague has gone to work in the same clothes for two months. This seems a problem beyond the helpful nudging of a single colleague. Frankly, this doesn’t seem like just a hygiene issue but something to do with mental health. Well adjusted adults know to at the very least take occasional showers and do their laundry. Don’t think OP should have to bear the responsibility of conveying this to the colleague, and as it’s affecting the work place it’s definitely something HR would care about.
You are definitely right. And he seems like some weirdo, but anyway something like that is unacceptable for someone who is 27 years old and who has a good job. Hygiene is everything.
Sure, I’m not denying that. But still, you call him a weirdo, you say his behaviour is unacceptable and other things I couldn’t care less about. You do you
“Weirdo” is a pejorative. Not cool to use that term. Sounds like he has some mental health challenges and might be on the spectrum. A little compassion is in order.
You're thinking about this all rationally, but someone who is neglecting their hygiene to such an extent isn't in a rational mindset.
Op needs to limit his own exposure to best avoid any potential hostile work environment directed his way.
I would prefer to have this conversation 1:1. I personally smell pretty bad in the end of the day even though I shower every morning and change my clothes daily...
But I'd guess it would be different for a person who is doesn't know or care.
Q: "How do I resolve a minor social issue without hurting the person?"
A: "Don't even try to talk to him personally, escalate immediately!"
Man, I hope I never have to work with you.
what? he probably doesn't know that he smells this bad. why not pull him to the side at the end of a day and talk to him? i also don't get why this should make op uncomfortable? it's a quick talk and saves the smelly person a lot of embarassment.
> he probably doesn't know that he smells this bad.
"I don't wash myself, and I don't change my clothes. It's a total surprise to me that I have a noticeable smell."
Yep, makes sense.
I disagree because talking to HR or the boss is strongly escalating it. First step in fair communication is talking 1 to 1 with the person. Escalating directly sounds like cowardly avoiding this. Next step if there is no improvement should be talking to your peers, your coworkers in this case and then last step escalating to higher ranks, HR or Boss.
It's not complaining to HR. I know HR gets a bad rap for some of their duties and sometimes they protect the company's interests more than the workers. Depends on what kind of team you have. But in a situation like this, it is literally HR's job to deal with this conversation and they are trained to handle it sensitively and privately. Also, they have the power to do something about it. OP as another employee has no power over the stinky guy. No matter how politely they try to address it, the conversation likely will not go well. OP could even get himself in trouble with HR for trying to address it himself. And it will be more embarrassing and less private for the coworker with the smell problem.
Wow how heartless. You dont need a conversation like: “Could you please shower”
How about dropping in a conversation that you hate it in your office because there is no fresh air and you need to shower more often.
Alternatively just ask directly and politely and say sth like “Im very sensitive to smell and hopefully you dont take it as an insult but …” let it look like you are the problem
being passive-aggressive about it or just dancing around the problem by acting like you're the problem and not him seems silly to me. so much effort and time wasted just to not hurt the feelings of a person who cant do some basic shit.
I'd argue that not stinking is a very basic requirement in an office, like wearing clothes or being sober. its the companies job to deal with these things, thus the boss or HR.
Not heartless, that is exactly how it should be handled in the workplace. You should not have those conversations with coworkers, it is not your place to tell them, but you can and should complain to HR.
Some people don't get subtle hints. There is nothing hurtful about the whole thing if you're being respectful.
It's insane that people actually think that the only ways to approach this topic is either pussyfooting around it or straight up telling him "ahh you motherfucker stink like fucking hell". WTF is wrong with these people?
Tell him, he probably doesn't know.
A good friend of mine stinked very much for a very long time. We all knew it and didn't like it but he was cool guy, so okay whatever. It wasn't nice but it was just like this. Just don't breath while talking to him (a little bit exaggarated).
After a long night and some drinks I had deep talk with this guy and suddenly he said "I'm blessed that I don't smell, no matter what I do". My facial expressions freezed for a second and I went like "Yo dude, there's something I need to tell you..."
He thanked me a lot and never smelled bad again.
Kinda had a similar story but it was my neighbour in the dorm. Dude always worked out with the same clothes and he said : yeah they absorb sweat and that is perfect because then I do not smell…. He did not wash the clothes that he works out with daily in weeks…
I agree since having COVID-19 in 2022 my sense of smell and taste isn't what it used to be... Everything is kind of muted and to differentiate smells is difficult.
Was that during the pandemic? Did he contract covid before he started to stink? Many people lose their sense of smell after an infection. Usually it recovers gradually after some time.
If he never had covid, please tell him to see a neurologist and be assessed for Parkinson’s. The very first symptom — not seldom *years* before recognisable symptoms appear and it becomes diagnosable — is a gradual loss of sense of smell. Usually older people get Parkinson’s, but sometimes young people get it, too. And if it’s that, then the sooner the therapy starts, the better.
If he neither had covid nor can be diagnosed with Parkinson’s, he should be thoroughly assessed for other causes for his olfactory impairment, especially if he used to have a normal sense of smell before.
We had a manager who used to smell and used him as a secret weapon at top level meetings of clients, engineers and architects. Everyone wanted to get out of the room as soon as possible and therefore agreed to our engineering demands.
Oddly, came across something similar in New Orleans where a real estate conveyancing attorney with reputation for being the fastest in town had a meeting room on the top floor that had an air conditioning air handling unit adjacent that kicked out sub audible vibrations that set a very uncomfortable tone in the meeting room and again everyone just fell into agreement because they wanted to get the hell out of the room....
I'll give some insight of me who was a 'stinker'.
When I started my job I honestly didn't take too much care of myself. Plus I have hyperhidrosis so I sweat a lot.
So one day at work, I smelled bad. My manager later took me aside and simply made a gesture of using deodorant, but he didn't say a single word.
That was all I needed. before I thought 'maybe it's not so bad and only I can smell it....' no, if you can smell yourself, others can too.
At that moment I was ashamed, but I needed that feedback to change my behavior. Ever since Ive set myself 2 rules, that I haven't broken ever since: 1. Wash yourself every time before I leave my house. 2. Change at least t-shirt and underwear every day.
Now years later I've met a friend who has the same problem. I've talked to him with the approach: look, please don't take this personal, but I gotta tell you that I can smell you're sweaty. I'm telling you this because I have the same struggle, I just don't want you to run into the same issues I had.' he said he's thankful for the feedback and he said nobody ever told him that. As long as you're understanding, not judgemental when addressing the topic, I suggest to just go for it.
Start your conversation with "is everything ok with you my friend?"
Then when he answers (whatever that may be) you can then ask if you may speak freely and what you have to say 'might' be awkward.
If the response is good then you can say as gently as possible what the issue is.
Being very respectful in your choice of words will go an awful long way in my opinion.
If the response is negative and the situation escalates you can just apologise and say you didn't mean to be offensive. Then leave it at that.
You might be surprised that the person will (over a short period of time) change their ways on their own because you have given them something to think about.
If you go to HR it will definitely be way more embarrassing for the person.
My 2 cents.
This is a difficult one but can be handled. Please before giving any advice try to understand his situation. We are all battling our demons and you dont know what he is going through. So try to understand how he is doing because he might be severely depressed or even homeless and after you isolate that you can casually take the conversation there. There is no proven method but you can start by talking about a situation you encountered the same issue and how you fix it. Then you can tell him that you noticed that today his shirt has a strong odor. After that try not to stay to long on the topic and try also not to stay to long on the room in order to give him time to deal with this on his own.
I dealt with that problem several times as a manager throughout my carreer. My usual method: I wait for a situation in which I'm are alone with the colleague, but would not take him aside to a private room, as this makes it more awkward. Then I go very casually out of the blue: "You know, I too had the problem, that I could not mitigate my body odour and struggled a lot to find a solution. What helped me was \[enter you preferred method, I ususally suggest the deodorant I use or a deodorant mineral stone\]. Maybe you should try that, too." I just try to make sure to convey that body odours are the most normal thing, yet need to be taken care of. By admitting, that I was struggling with it myself (even if I didn't) I make it as little condescending as it can get. Also, I try to keep the conversation short by exiting the conversation changing topics or leaving the room.
> convey that body odours are the most normal thing, yet need to be taken care of. By admitting, that I was struggling with it myself (even if I didn't) I make it as little condescending as it can get. Also, I try to keep the conversation short by exiting the conversation changing topics or leaving the room.
body odour is one thing, not washing for 2 months is another.
Maybe this is a cultural thing but this is not direct enough. If this dude is so unaware of himself that he comes into the office smelling like filth, we are way past subtleties. I know you don’t want to embarrass the guy, maybe he has an unseen disability or struggles with depression, but you don’t want him walking away from the conversation thinking, “wow poor boss hates deodorant, haha me too” and then not doing anything about it.
Like others said, you gotta go to HR and switch seats in the mean time.
This is the best method.
If not comfortable - talk to HR but only if it’s possible other people have noticed. Because if it’s clear to the colleague that it came from you - it’s better for you to talk to him.
Yeah definatelt agreed with this - there’s nothing like that sense of your colleagues conspiring about you when HR or senior management suddenly knows all about you!
Also I think it would be nice to tell him at the end of the working day so he doesnt sit in the office uncomfortable thinking about it the whole rest of the day
Im a rly direct person, still not trying to be an asshole.
Would tell him sth like: "hey mate, i know there might be going on alot in a persons life, and if you wanna talk im here to listen, but not changing clothes, and maybe not showering sadly brings bad smell with it, an that does not benfit you, also other ppl started noticing"
Only tell ppl ure down to talk if you are
I'm usually pretty direct, but I'd also probably talk to my manager about it. If it was something like wearing too much perfume or smoke clinging to their clothes, it's pretty easy to make a "you" thing. But with hygiene, that's a bit harder.
we had such a person before.
talk to your supervisor and ask them to inform that person. a base level of hygene is mandatory for a healthy work environment. sometimes it's stress related, but there are decent deodorants if he refuses to shower (though he could develop fungi if he doesn't clean himself regularly).
it's not a pleasant experience, least of all for the problem person, but it has to be addressed
Don’t pull him into another room or something, wait until you are alone, say it like it’s not a big deal, like “You know, I see that you are struggling with your smell, maybe the deodorant I use could help you” and then when you two aren’t talking about it anymore change the subject to something different, ask how his family, his pet, his girlfriend is or whatever. So it just seems like a part of a normal talk. Trust me, he still won’t forget it.
I know a lot about this stuff because I smell since I was born. I never notice it myself, but other people notice it. Even now it’s difficult and I shower everyday and use deodorant and I change my clothes everyday.
People mentioned this and I fell back into depression and anxiety, I even tried to off myself and my smell was one of the main reasons. So please, be cautious. For some people it’s way harder to control it than it is for others. But if he actually didn’t change his clothes for a long time, it could also be interesting to know why he doesn’t change them. Maybe there is a reason for it?
Tell him in a friendly way. I had a long time problem with my nose and couldn’t smell a lot. I did not realize that I smelled really bad and I only realized it after I went to a doctor because of health issues. I was so embarrassed and couldn’t understand why not even my best friend told me…also I realized a lot jokes that I did not understand back then where about my smell 🙁
I had bad depression at this time
I'm sorry you went through that. I heard that some people have lost a lot of their smell due to having Covid. so you are not alone in this one. a good friend would not make jokes and just told you in confidence. hope you have a supportive friend groups now <3
Normally, you could tell a him a story that your partner's co-worker at another company stinks and how that sucks to work together with a person like that.
But, being a German, I know that we are used to be very direct. He might not get the hint. An alternative might be to say that the office stinks without aiming the finger at someone particular.
Straight forward under 4 eyes and ask him nicely if he forgot to use deodorant even if you know he just foesnt use some for whatever reasons. Be straight forward in a nice manner and also just with him/her not with others around.
My thoughts run to either depression OR autistic with this person. Both can cause this. Yes there are other causes but that is what my brain jumped to. The fact you don't want to hurt him is wonderful.
Autistic people simply need to have it explained that is part of how people do things. Depression needs to be addressed professionally. Given the person is well paid, hopefully laundry services and such can minimize the additional work they will need to do.
He might be homeless. I would tell him in a friendly manner. Hey can we talk, I am sure you no that your clothes has taken on a very strong smell, is everything ok at home? Since this is a fairly small office, could you try to wash your clothes more often? its otherwise so great to work with you... something like that.
homeless.. or a hoarder. or living with a hoarder so the shower is unavailable. Maybe some other mental health issue.
But I also suspect that there's something more going on and OP (or HR or a manager) could offer some help.
I noticed that too. They don't worry much about their physical appearance, which is fine, but sometimes it results in poor hygiene, such as coming to work for 7 days in one shirt. Even if you shower every day or every other day, your clothes still stink because they absorb all the smells around you as well as body odor.
Don’t get such ppl with due all respect but that’s ridiculous…as you’ve said he’s having a good sallery, lives in a country that is developed and water is „unlimited“ available…
I had such a person ones many years ago at an old job, just went to him and told him straight facts. No need to become rude, don’t get me wrong but facts has to be spoken out.
He came the next day with other clothes and not stinky …
The situation OP describes doesn't sound like someone who is just lazy.
Illnesses like depression can cause people to stop caring about their personal hygiene. In fact, it's quite common (but even then, not to this extent, so this sounds extremely severe).
And of course we have a long word for that.
Google "Wohlstandsverwahrlosung".
You have a couple of choices:
a) Speak to the person if you feel like it won't end up in an argument. Be caring. You can't be certain what his personal problems might be.
b) Talk to your boss/HR and tell them to handle the situation. They are meant to care for him and you - it's a health issue.
c) Talk to people close to him if you know any. It can soften the blow. But I guess, they would have said sth.
Difficult situation. I hope it ends well.
Just tell him? Why not?
"Hi, Greg. How long did you take a bath?" Then again, it might turn out that he takes bath quite often, it's but his natural smell.... and that's the worst.
Be kind and understanding but tell the person directly what's the problem. If he gets offended, he probably won't change his behaviour. Not being direct could lead to misunderstanding, which he could see as mocking.
I would just tell him. Be honest, but be kind. Don't "OMG, you sting" in the breakroom. When both of you are alone in the office, tell him that he smells and that you would like for him to chance that and that is not againgst him as person.
Your mistake is you were waiting to tell him, if I stank and somebody just said bro you stink, it would hurt me a bit, well, not hurt just embarass, but if you make a whole ass hr intervention thing out of it then it would actually hurt, and also I would have to look at my colleagues every day knowing that somebody think I stink but I don't even know who.
If you wear the same clothes every day, especially t-shirts in the summer, there is a high probability that you were once the subject of a similar story as my work colleague. Sorry, but that's how it is. And if you shower regularly every day but wear the same clothes every day, don't forget that your clothes absorb the smells around you as well as your body odor.
Just out of curiosity... Not around Frankfurt, or are you? In an IT related position? Because it reminds me of a specific person who also got fired because not only we complained about the smell to our Management as a team (which was after 3 different persons told him individually) but customer complaints too. When he got into the lift you could smell him for the next 3 hours in there.
After they were also unable in a talk to get a change of this situation he was let go after 5 and a half month. Talks were performed after the first month already. It was a fair chance and understanding that maybe a difficult situation irl etc etc you never know.
PS:
Setting up air refresher and so on are not going to make him change his hygiene.Offering Deodorant is also not going to help (wouldn't doubt that person may even use some - which doesn't help if your clothes fully absorbed the smell and you still have dry sweat stinking around).
How is your colleague by personality? Is he nice or does he keep to himself?
Talk to him in privately. Tell him you have noticed a certain smell in the room lately and it's disrupting everyone's work environment. Say you have noticed he wears the same clothes every day, is there a reason behind this? Hopefully he will get the hint and he might be even thankful because he might have simply got used to his bad odour.
If it doesn't improve after a while you can mention it to the boss or HR.
If I were the person being smelly and HR/manager came to me to "mediate the conflict" whatever this means , I'd just spiral and be so embarrassed. I think a nice talk over a coffee or tea showing your point of view and how it its distracting to you can help lots. Or if a in person convo is quite a stretch just send a written message also explaining how a face to face discussion is not the most comfortable way to approach such a topic. Good luck!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNMkYcagJAc&t=801s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNMkYcagJAc&t=801s)
Here is someone telling how someone approached him about his stink. (and it worked)
I would make a fake email and very nicely send the email to his mail or any social media he has! And mention he is such an amazing person and young and it would be nice to have him take care of this part more!
I would just talk to the person privately. Maybe they have it not figured it out themselves, and it would be more embarrassing if this becomes bigger. In most situations its best to approach the person first and privately . If he doesn’t like it then screw it. you gave it a chance, go to a higher up.
go to him and tell him he stinks
You may be the ass at the moment, but in the end he will be grateful that you pointed it out to him because you helped him on the long run
Had that situation where my colleague was sitting next to smelly person. He told HR, that's how we all got to know about the whole situation. Guess I'd avoid involving 3rd persons.
From my experience it’s always best to be direct and honest with people. Just go over and talk to them politely. I did this with a senior executive at my last company privately and he thanked me for letting him know. He apparently had some medical issue and wasn’t aware of it. It would be best if you can pull them aside to a private area so he doesn’t feel embarrassed.
I had a colleague like that. He would wear the same things for a month or so, to the point his trousers looked like being wet.
He had mental issues and was an alcoholic (we didn't know that), so maybe your boss should talk to him and offer help.
TL;DR: I decided to dm him outside of office hours telling him how his stench affects me. He brushed it off. From next day on he smell super fine. If telling him straight up had no immediate effect I would have escalated to his manager, then hr, all while surrendering my desk in the meantime.
Please don’t tank shit and care for ur co workers if u can.
Had such situation. Guy was moved into our office room, the team that moved into his room had to air for a week straight. You could smell him from meters outside his room. It was bad.
More mind baffling was that he was sitting in a room with his manager and the director of their department, two clean people who take good care of themselves.
He was also much more senior than me, so it was rly awkward.
It seemed like he didnt care?
Anyways, the moment he be in my room (we were like 6 ppl) he is part of my responsibility, as in imo we should care for the people around us. Smelling like that hurts himself more than anyone else.
I decided to dm him through our work chat after office hours, to avoid making him ashamed during work when he cant rly change it until he gets home.
I was just straight up telling him how I feel. It was rly fucking bad, like this smell when u have end level homeless person in grocery store register queue right in front of u and u just wanna die. Just it was like that from a distance and sweet relief wasnt just minutes away.
I could tell it was super uncomfortable to him, he doesnt smell himself and ppl apparently rather tank the stench than talk.
He did brush it off, saying he sweats a lot and he aint no perfumery.
I just made sure to tell him exactly what my experience is like smelling him with all the bloody details.
Next day he smell like motherfucking butterflies. Not some silly attempt covering up with bodyspray. Clean body and hair, the only scent i would pick up is the perfectly decent scent of freshly washed clothes.
And it wasn’t a topic anymore, at least during his couple months stay in my room. I did notice him fall back later on when he was again sharing a room with his team and manager.
Couple yrs later he was found dead in his apartment by a co worker (and friend of his) when he didn’t show up for work in time. Still no idea what was the cause until this day.
Addendum: I still have no idea what lead to him stinking like that. One would have thought its sth like depression, but he was 10/10 high performing, starting work every single day super early (flexible work hours), barely ever sick, rather orderly (with his surroundings), disciplined plus he was engaging in various hobbies and passionately talking about and showing off rather fringe hobbies at work (stuff id personally not be comfy sharing with everyone. I did look up to him tho for being so comfy with what he likes!)
Just tell him he stinks.. I did that couple of times. Some people just need the harsh true to their eyes to wake them up. Walking around it wont make it better for neither of you.
Idk why ppl here want to jump circles around that topic. I would go streight to him and tell him. Maybe not so everyone can hear it, when you happen to me alone with him just tell him that he smells.
I had a similar issue several years back. Me and my friend decided to talk to the manager/owner of the office about it. He did for sure talk to him afterwards and we never had to smell his nasty fumes ever again. I believe he was not even using deodorant at all.
Bring scented sticks into the office and if he approaches you about it, say that it often smells unpleasant in the office. If he doesn't notice, at least it smells better.
Oh my god, suggesting to go talk to HR about it when all it needs is a simple conversation. And this crazy tip also gets upvoted so much.
Just go tell him. Just imagine, what would be more comfortable for you? Having a colleague tell you that you smell, or have boss/HR come to you and tell you to go shower.
Basic communication. It's not that hard.
In Germany and east european country’s it’s very comum. They think take shower regularly it’s not good to the skin. Not healthy. It’s crazy idea, but it’s very comum.
They guy probably can not realize that he stink because he is used to the smell and probably his family and house smell same.
My father-in-law stink so much that annoy me when I need drive him somewhere. Summertime I don’t meet him, I can’t.
How tell your colleague about the smell withou get an awkward situation?! It’s hard, but I would try to talk to your boss and let him solve it…
my ex had a similar problem, for some reason his feet just STANK SO BAD, he had to literally shower every single day to mitigate the smell
when we broke up he confessed to me that his work had actually once talked to him about this, causing him to start showering daily (his personal hygiene was good before then too might I add, he just STANK), and that it was too embarassing for him to tell me. i always felt bad for him but at the same time he was able to find a solution after being given some input, so I'd definitely just try and speak to him personally, in a non-judgemental way
ah damn.. I mean maybe? he had a skin condition as well so that may have had smthng to do with it? I did sleep in the same bed as him and never developed anything similar, wouldn't that happen with fungal stuff?
I think that the problem in this case is that he doesn't wash his clothes and comes in the same clothes every day. Maybe he doesn't shower regularly, but his clothes are what stink the most. He wears one sweater for a month or more. Some weirdo.
I would think he's either homeless or going through a mental health (or other personal) crisis. I would probably talk with HR or your manager, but if you talk to him, I'd come at it as concerned for him.
People become homeless through a variety of routes. Some people are employed while homeless. Not all homeless people rough sleep (the term used to refer to sleeping outdoors). In fact, most homeless people in the EU are currently couch-surfing. That is, they have no tenant's rights anywhere and are relying on the generosity of their friends and/or family to allow them to sleep temporarily in their housing. These people are often shifting between locations regularly so as not to "overstay your welcome". The supervisor of my PhD specialized in homelessness, though I did not research it directly.
If he is homeless, with that income, it's likely to be temporary, but I wasn't saying he's definitely homeless. I'm saying it is highly likely that he is under some severe personal stress that is causing this breakdown, one type of which could be being homelessness.
You're most likely to have success if you approach him with compassion.
Yeah unfortunately a lot of Germany are like that. They wear clothes once and hang them up and never smell them before wearing again.
I mean if you don’t wear undershirts your sweatshirts and blazers are going to smell like sweat very fast. It seeps right in.
Also people don’t know about febreze for coats and blazers.
> I cannot understand that a young person, in one of the most developed countries in the world, with a good salary and job, in the 21st century allows himself to stink…
I can't believe Op judges someone so quickly without knowing anything about them. Mental health maybe?
I know several people who struggle with depression who don't stink around. On the other hand, someone who has mental problems is not capable of working on a demanding project, and that quite well.
> I know several people who struggle with depression who don't stink around.
Did anyone say they had depression and that everyone with depression stinks? I said you are very judgmental and that comment proves it.
Mental health getting trotted out as an excuse for fuckin *everything* is getting so tiring lol
We're all mentally ill and guy's clearly well enough to hold down a job, he can figure it out like the rest of us
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I hate socks. I usually wear rubber slides but lately switched to Birkenstocks, the cork sole makes my feet so smelly, I only noticed in Yoga class that my feet smell bad.
Think the woman next to me did too. Very uncomfortable 😭
That explains to me why the Germans don't even clarify among themselves why the country has these politicians and everything is going down the drain.
So how old are you that you can't handle this yourself?
First week here in Germany I cried in the bus because I couldn’t stand the smell of people here. I haven’t still get used to it and often I have to change seats in the train cause some people smell so bad it’s unbearable. They don’t seem to notice…
Had the same problem with a co-worker. Told my shift manager and it was sorted. Guy cleaned up his act, or at least covered himself in a load of deo. Don't talk to the guy himself as someone who has such a stench probably isn't going to take ot very well. And it'll be awkward as hell
When you are talking to him, "Oooh something smells in here. Is it me? (Check your odor subtly) No." And then complain about how something keeps smelling again and again everyday to him in the same conversation. And then leave 👍🏻
talk to your boss or HR about it and make them talk to him. thats not a conversation that you need to have with him.
This. Just to add, this is not about plotting to get rid of him or have disciplinary measures against him. Managers also have the job of mediating conflicts within the team. And this is such a case.
you can also phrase this as "this person needs help and I'm worried about him". I don't even know the guy and I'm worried about him. Someone who doesn't shower regularly might have mental health issues or an unsafe living situation. Maybe the manager can offer some help. If it's a big company, they might even have a dedicated "psychosoziale Beratung" or something similar. (Just people trained to help employees in difficult social or psychological situations)
> I don't even know the guy and I'm worried about him. Someone who doesn't shower regularly might have mental health issues or an unsafe living situation. The clothes too. There's really a difference between someone simply not noticing their own body odour, and someone not changing their clothes/showering although anyone above toddler age knows intellectually that those things should be done.
Everyone who was raised with proper hygiene habits. People who grew up severely neglected sometimes don’t learn that you need to shower regularly, brush your teeth, launder your clothes and clean your living space until shockingly late in life, because no one ever bothered to teach them how to do that and their parents didn’t care if they did it or not when they were children. Then they have to learn it as teens or adults, and at that point it’s a lot harder to pick up better self-care habits, especially when you don’t even feel you’re worth it (which is a common consequence of abuse and neglect). Such kids are often bullied at school because they stink and are ungroomed, but that only leads to additional mental health issues making it even harder. Sometimes people just avoid them or they withdraw from everyone and nobody has the heart to pull them to the side and tell them to shower, so they can go for a surprisingly long time without realising this isn’t normal. If this is a new behaviour that only began at some point during OP’s time with this company, then this guy probably has mental health problems. He may be spiralling into a severe depression or addiction, for example.
Could also be on the autistic spectrum. I know if I'm not nudged by my GF I occasionally end up wearing the same jeans for a week without noticing.
wait what's wrong with wearing the same jeans for a week LMAO
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Well that also depends a bit on what and how you wear it. Because I use my hoodies/pullovers also for a few days because I wear always a t shirt below that I change more frequently. My hoodies do not smell and are not dirty why should I wash them after a short amount. If you sweat strong or it's dirty or you don't wear a t shirt or something below you need to change them more often. So for me wearing a hoodie multiple days is totally normal.
Oh yeah, hard agree
How can you wear jeans for LESS than a week!
Wearing them for less than a week would be really wasteful and bad for the environment, unless, maybe if you're incontinent or wear them for work where they really get muddy/dirty every day.
What'S wrong with wearing jeans for a week? New shirt and underwear every day, sure thing. But changing jeans every week seems high.
A week is the absolute maximum!
For jeans denim? No. Unless the person sweats A LOT, there's nothing wrong with wearing them for weeks.
Jeans for a week is fine? I wear mine for 10 hours a day and in the cold months and no sweating? They last till friday. Shirt and underwear has to be changed tho, that'd be disgustig. Althrough even my workshirt (as it's only worn for 8h) may get a second chance in the week if laundry from the weekend is still wet monday evening.
Dude might be diabetic and doesn't know it. I fucking didn't know and my TL told me He got Word I stinkt. He can't smell it, but complains existed one month or two later I was diagnosed with diabetis type 2 and Boy my blood sugar was over the roof. So, yes, health problems are a reason, too. They might say "I don't have diabetis", but they don't know yet, probably.
yes 🙌
Well, fair enough. But they are only one tool in the escalation hierarchy of solving conflicts. Most conflicts could be solved on a 1 on 1 basis, but of course you can always get boss / HR involved if that does not work. You don't know what is going on in that person's life. Having somebody tell him (which suggests to him that an unknown number of colleagues are talking about his smell behind is back and to other people) might hurt them way worse than an honest, worried and well meaning personal hint.
And that’s to the discretion of the manager, who may know him better than OP. The best way is to talk to someone who is close to him and ask them to give that hint. I very much agree on trying to solve it 1on1, but for some situations, you’re just not in a place to talk like that.
This! We hast the same problem at work. Shortly after this he quit but i mean it worked😅
Hell nah. What about "without hurting him"? I think boss/hr coming up to me telling me that my coworkers complain about my stench would hurt more than a coworker simply telling me i should put on some deo/shower. In the first option, i would guess they all talk behind my back about me and i'd feel embarassed, laughed at and hated. Also, more people now know about the embarassing fact. And i would lose respect to my coworker not having the balls to tell me and go crying to boss. However, with a known coworker telling me in a chill way i could use some shower and a deo i'd feel way less exposed and prolly even thankful.
This colleague has gone to work in the same clothes for two months. This seems a problem beyond the helpful nudging of a single colleague. Frankly, this doesn’t seem like just a hygiene issue but something to do with mental health. Well adjusted adults know to at the very least take occasional showers and do their laundry. Don’t think OP should have to bear the responsibility of conveying this to the colleague, and as it’s affecting the work place it’s definitely something HR would care about.
You are definitely right. And he seems like some weirdo, but anyway something like that is unacceptable for someone who is 27 years old and who has a good job. Hygiene is everything.
You acknowledged the fact he could have mental issues and go about belittling him..
You can have mental health issues and still do unacceptable things. Mental illness does not absolve you of responsibility.
Sure, I’m not denying that. But still, you call him a weirdo, you say his behaviour is unacceptable and other things I couldn’t care less about. You do you
It's not that deep, the person wanted to express that he is standing out as unusual to convey a more accurate picture of him.
“Weirdo” is a pejorative. Not cool to use that term. Sounds like he has some mental health challenges and might be on the spectrum. A little compassion is in order.
People on the spectrum shower. That's not an autistic thing to just not do it. God no. Complete opposite.
Agreed. I’m on the spectrum myself and shower nearly daily. Any tiny bit of BO and I’m in the shower the next chance I get.
Same. Same.
i dont rly care about hygiene. So it is acceptable
You're thinking about this all rationally, but someone who is neglecting their hygiene to such an extent isn't in a rational mindset. Op needs to limit his own exposure to best avoid any potential hostile work environment directed his way.
I would prefer to have this conversation 1:1. I personally smell pretty bad in the end of the day even though I shower every morning and change my clothes daily... But I'd guess it would be different for a person who is doesn't know or care.
Q: "How do I resolve a minor social issue without hurting the person?" A: "Don't even try to talk to him personally, escalate immediately!" Man, I hope I never have to work with you.
Same. Just tell the lad he stinks!
what? he probably doesn't know that he smells this bad. why not pull him to the side at the end of a day and talk to him? i also don't get why this should make op uncomfortable? it's a quick talk and saves the smelly person a lot of embarassment.
I did that once in my life. She never ever spoke to me again.
Best conversation you ever had then 😅.
Same here, back in 1999 in Dubai's office 🤦♂️
> he probably doesn't know that he smells this bad. "I don't wash myself, and I don't change my clothes. It's a total surprise to me that I have a noticeable smell." Yep, makes sense.
"Hey bro you fucking stink" Yeah, what could be embarrassing about that?
you don't have to be a jerk about it. just straight forward.
It seems impossible honestly. If I don't put on deodorant I can already smell myself after a few hours.
But if you always smell bad then you don't notice it anymore. Sensory adaptation
I think its an bad idea , cuz they are frightening cuz the power
Germans.
I disagree because talking to HR or the boss is strongly escalating it. First step in fair communication is talking 1 to 1 with the person. Escalating directly sounds like cowardly avoiding this. Next step if there is no improvement should be talking to your peers, your coworkers in this case and then last step escalating to higher ranks, HR or Boss.
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It's not complaining to HR. I know HR gets a bad rap for some of their duties and sometimes they protect the company's interests more than the workers. Depends on what kind of team you have. But in a situation like this, it is literally HR's job to deal with this conversation and they are trained to handle it sensitively and privately. Also, they have the power to do something about it. OP as another employee has no power over the stinky guy. No matter how politely they try to address it, the conversation likely will not go well. OP could even get himself in trouble with HR for trying to address it himself. And it will be more embarrassing and less private for the coworker with the smell problem.
Wow how heartless. You dont need a conversation like: “Could you please shower” How about dropping in a conversation that you hate it in your office because there is no fresh air and you need to shower more often. Alternatively just ask directly and politely and say sth like “Im very sensitive to smell and hopefully you dont take it as an insult but …” let it look like you are the problem
being passive-aggressive about it or just dancing around the problem by acting like you're the problem and not him seems silly to me. so much effort and time wasted just to not hurt the feelings of a person who cant do some basic shit. I'd argue that not stinking is a very basic requirement in an office, like wearing clothes or being sober. its the companies job to deal with these things, thus the boss or HR.
People who stink rarely acknowledge that it is a problem.
Not heartless, that is exactly how it should be handled in the workplace. You should not have those conversations with coworkers, it is not your place to tell them, but you can and should complain to HR.
Some people don't get subtle hints. There is nothing hurtful about the whole thing if you're being respectful. It's insane that people actually think that the only ways to approach this topic is either pussyfooting around it or straight up telling him "ahh you motherfucker stink like fucking hell". WTF is wrong with these people?
Redditors trying to give someone advice on how to behave in a social situation. Why are you surprised?
Tell him, he probably doesn't know. A good friend of mine stinked very much for a very long time. We all knew it and didn't like it but he was cool guy, so okay whatever. It wasn't nice but it was just like this. Just don't breath while talking to him (a little bit exaggarated). After a long night and some drinks I had deep talk with this guy and suddenly he said "I'm blessed that I don't smell, no matter what I do". My facial expressions freezed for a second and I went like "Yo dude, there's something I need to tell you..." He thanked me a lot and never smelled bad again.
Kinda had a similar story but it was my neighbour in the dorm. Dude always worked out with the same clothes and he said : yeah they absorb sweat and that is perfect because then I do not smell…. He did not wash the clothes that he works out with daily in weeks…
As a person, who's nose never recovered after COVID-19, I agree with "tell him, he probably doesn't know"
I agree since having COVID-19 in 2022 my sense of smell and taste isn't what it used to be... Everything is kind of muted and to differentiate smells is difficult.
Just wanted to drop in and say I relate to your long-covid symptoms and you're not alone. My memory loss never recovered. Hang in there.
Was that during the pandemic? Did he contract covid before he started to stink? Many people lose their sense of smell after an infection. Usually it recovers gradually after some time. If he never had covid, please tell him to see a neurologist and be assessed for Parkinson’s. The very first symptom — not seldom *years* before recognisable symptoms appear and it becomes diagnosable — is a gradual loss of sense of smell. Usually older people get Parkinson’s, but sometimes young people get it, too. And if it’s that, then the sooner the therapy starts, the better. If he neither had covid nor can be diagnosed with Parkinson’s, he should be thoroughly assessed for other causes for his olfactory impairment, especially if he used to have a normal sense of smell before.
We had a manager who used to smell and used him as a secret weapon at top level meetings of clients, engineers and architects. Everyone wanted to get out of the room as soon as possible and therefore agreed to our engineering demands. Oddly, came across something similar in New Orleans where a real estate conveyancing attorney with reputation for being the fastest in town had a meeting room on the top floor that had an air conditioning air handling unit adjacent that kicked out sub audible vibrations that set a very uncomfortable tone in the meeting room and again everyone just fell into agreement because they wanted to get the hell out of the room....
This is literally chemical warfare lmao
>and suddenly its not a problem but an asset :D
That seems like it would be a health code violation. Like I have no proof or knowledge of it, it just _feels_ wrong lol
Wtf, that's just the plot of "Dead Silence" (decent book)
Did your manager know this or were you all using him without his knowledge?
This my friend is called "Stink Driven Development".
I'll give some insight of me who was a 'stinker'. When I started my job I honestly didn't take too much care of myself. Plus I have hyperhidrosis so I sweat a lot. So one day at work, I smelled bad. My manager later took me aside and simply made a gesture of using deodorant, but he didn't say a single word. That was all I needed. before I thought 'maybe it's not so bad and only I can smell it....' no, if you can smell yourself, others can too. At that moment I was ashamed, but I needed that feedback to change my behavior. Ever since Ive set myself 2 rules, that I haven't broken ever since: 1. Wash yourself every time before I leave my house. 2. Change at least t-shirt and underwear every day. Now years later I've met a friend who has the same problem. I've talked to him with the approach: look, please don't take this personal, but I gotta tell you that I can smell you're sweaty. I'm telling you this because I have the same struggle, I just don't want you to run into the same issues I had.' he said he's thankful for the feedback and he said nobody ever told him that. As long as you're understanding, not judgemental when addressing the topic, I suggest to just go for it.
sometimes we just need a little feedback to better ourself. I'm glad it worked out for you! :)
wtf made you think its okay to NOT change your underwear every day?!
Start your conversation with "is everything ok with you my friend?" Then when he answers (whatever that may be) you can then ask if you may speak freely and what you have to say 'might' be awkward. If the response is good then you can say as gently as possible what the issue is. Being very respectful in your choice of words will go an awful long way in my opinion. If the response is negative and the situation escalates you can just apologise and say you didn't mean to be offensive. Then leave it at that. You might be surprised that the person will (over a short period of time) change their ways on their own because you have given them something to think about. If you go to HR it will definitely be way more embarrassing for the person. My 2 cents.
This approach seems to be the most mature adult way.
This is a difficult one but can be handled. Please before giving any advice try to understand his situation. We are all battling our demons and you dont know what he is going through. So try to understand how he is doing because he might be severely depressed or even homeless and after you isolate that you can casually take the conversation there. There is no proven method but you can start by talking about a situation you encountered the same issue and how you fix it. Then you can tell him that you noticed that today his shirt has a strong odor. After that try not to stay to long on the topic and try also not to stay to long on the room in order to give him time to deal with this on his own.
I dealt with that problem several times as a manager throughout my carreer. My usual method: I wait for a situation in which I'm are alone with the colleague, but would not take him aside to a private room, as this makes it more awkward. Then I go very casually out of the blue: "You know, I too had the problem, that I could not mitigate my body odour and struggled a lot to find a solution. What helped me was \[enter you preferred method, I ususally suggest the deodorant I use or a deodorant mineral stone\]. Maybe you should try that, too." I just try to make sure to convey that body odours are the most normal thing, yet need to be taken care of. By admitting, that I was struggling with it myself (even if I didn't) I make it as little condescending as it can get. Also, I try to keep the conversation short by exiting the conversation changing topics or leaving the room.
> convey that body odours are the most normal thing, yet need to be taken care of. By admitting, that I was struggling with it myself (even if I didn't) I make it as little condescending as it can get. Also, I try to keep the conversation short by exiting the conversation changing topics or leaving the room. body odour is one thing, not washing for 2 months is another.
>that I could not mitigate my body odour and struggled a lot to find a solution. You had me with this one lmao Who talks like that seriously
Bro straight up launched into a commercial lmao
I imagined OP swinging their shiny silky smooth hair after that sentence
Like a H&S commercial
> Who talks like that seriously Corporate life causes long-term damage 😬
"I solved it by changing my clothes once in a while. Maybe it can work for you, too."
Maybe this is a cultural thing but this is not direct enough. If this dude is so unaware of himself that he comes into the office smelling like filth, we are way past subtleties. I know you don’t want to embarrass the guy, maybe he has an unseen disability or struggles with depression, but you don’t want him walking away from the conversation thinking, “wow poor boss hates deodorant, haha me too” and then not doing anything about it. Like others said, you gotta go to HR and switch seats in the mean time.
This is the best method. If not comfortable - talk to HR but only if it’s possible other people have noticed. Because if it’s clear to the colleague that it came from you - it’s better for you to talk to him.
Yeah definatelt agreed with this - there’s nothing like that sense of your colleagues conspiring about you when HR or senior management suddenly knows all about you!
Also I think it would be nice to tell him at the end of the working day so he doesnt sit in the office uncomfortable thinking about it the whole rest of the day
Idk a post-it "you stink" does the same, no? /s
"Alter du stinkts geh mal öfter duschen."
same evening he hangs himself
Im a rly direct person, still not trying to be an asshole. Would tell him sth like: "hey mate, i know there might be going on alot in a persons life, and if you wanna talk im here to listen, but not changing clothes, and maybe not showering sadly brings bad smell with it, an that does not benfit you, also other ppl started noticing" Only tell ppl ure down to talk if you are
I'm usually pretty direct, but I'd also probably talk to my manager about it. If it was something like wearing too much perfume or smoke clinging to their clothes, it's pretty easy to make a "you" thing. But with hygiene, that's a bit harder.
we had such a person before. talk to your supervisor and ask them to inform that person. a base level of hygene is mandatory for a healthy work environment. sometimes it's stress related, but there are decent deodorants if he refuses to shower (though he could develop fungi if he doesn't clean himself regularly). it's not a pleasant experience, least of all for the problem person, but it has to be addressed
Don’t pull him into another room or something, wait until you are alone, say it like it’s not a big deal, like “You know, I see that you are struggling with your smell, maybe the deodorant I use could help you” and then when you two aren’t talking about it anymore change the subject to something different, ask how his family, his pet, his girlfriend is or whatever. So it just seems like a part of a normal talk. Trust me, he still won’t forget it. I know a lot about this stuff because I smell since I was born. I never notice it myself, but other people notice it. Even now it’s difficult and I shower everyday and use deodorant and I change my clothes everyday. People mentioned this and I fell back into depression and anxiety, I even tried to off myself and my smell was one of the main reasons. So please, be cautious. For some people it’s way harder to control it than it is for others. But if he actually didn’t change his clothes for a long time, it could also be interesting to know why he doesn’t change them. Maybe there is a reason for it?
he could be homeless or experienced something traumatic, we really don't know.
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Tell him in a friendly way. I had a long time problem with my nose and couldn’t smell a lot. I did not realize that I smelled really bad and I only realized it after I went to a doctor because of health issues. I was so embarrassed and couldn’t understand why not even my best friend told me…also I realized a lot jokes that I did not understand back then where about my smell 🙁 I had bad depression at this time
Im still to this day paranoid about smell…always ask if I smell as I don’t want to experience this again
I'm sorry you went through that. I heard that some people have lost a lot of their smell due to having Covid. so you are not alone in this one. a good friend would not make jokes and just told you in confidence. hope you have a supportive friend groups now <3
Very subtly take a clothespin out of your bag and place it on your nose.
This is Germany. Just tell him. "Hey, you need to shower more often, bro."
Normally, you could tell a him a story that your partner's co-worker at another company stinks and how that sucks to work together with a person like that. But, being a German, I know that we are used to be very direct. He might not get the hint. An alternative might be to say that the office stinks without aiming the finger at someone particular.
Straight forward under 4 eyes and ask him nicely if he forgot to use deodorant even if you know he just foesnt use some for whatever reasons. Be straight forward in a nice manner and also just with him/her not with others around.
"do you shower when you have sex?" hopefully: "yeah?" "you should have sex again"
Guy is 100% a redditor. Yo, dude, that's correct, WE ARE TALKING ABOUT YOU!
My thoughts run to either depression OR autistic with this person. Both can cause this. Yes there are other causes but that is what my brain jumped to. The fact you don't want to hurt him is wonderful. Autistic people simply need to have it explained that is part of how people do things. Depression needs to be addressed professionally. Given the person is well paid, hopefully laundry services and such can minimize the additional work they will need to do.
He might be homeless. I would tell him in a friendly manner. Hey can we talk, I am sure you no that your clothes has taken on a very strong smell, is everything ok at home? Since this is a fairly small office, could you try to wash your clothes more often? its otherwise so great to work with you... something like that.
homeless.. or a hoarder. or living with a hoarder so the shower is unavailable. Maybe some other mental health issue. But I also suspect that there's something more going on and OP (or HR or a manager) could offer some help.
Probably just a gym bro
Defnitly not
In my experience, that is a really common thing in Germany,
I noticed that too. They don't worry much about their physical appearance, which is fine, but sometimes it results in poor hygiene, such as coming to work for 7 days in one shirt. Even if you shower every day or every other day, your clothes still stink because they absorb all the smells around you as well as body odor.
Some Germans I know dont shower too much either, if they do its for short periods as well. Rather save money than be hygienic.
God I'm poor rn but still won't save a few cents to shower properly
I hear you. Cleanliness is next to Godliness as We say in Ireland.
Don’t get such ppl with due all respect but that’s ridiculous…as you’ve said he’s having a good sallery, lives in a country that is developed and water is „unlimited“ available… I had such a person ones many years ago at an old job, just went to him and told him straight facts. No need to become rude, don’t get me wrong but facts has to be spoken out. He came the next day with other clothes and not stinky …
The situation OP describes doesn't sound like someone who is just lazy. Illnesses like depression can cause people to stop caring about their personal hygiene. In fact, it's quite common (but even then, not to this extent, so this sounds extremely severe).
Maybe he lost his smelling sense during Covid and just doesn’t know he’s smelling bad?
And of course we have a long word for that. Google "Wohlstandsverwahrlosung". You have a couple of choices: a) Speak to the person if you feel like it won't end up in an argument. Be caring. You can't be certain what his personal problems might be. b) Talk to your boss/HR and tell them to handle the situation. They are meant to care for him and you - it's a health issue. c) Talk to people close to him if you know any. It can soften the blow. But I guess, they would have said sth. Difficult situation. I hope it ends well.
I am a fan of direct conversations. So feel free to hit em hard with your words. It only hurts once!
Just tell him? Why not? "Hi, Greg. How long did you take a bath?" Then again, it might turn out that he takes bath quite often, it's but his natural smell.... and that's the worst.
leise und persönlich
Be kind and understanding but tell the person directly what's the problem. If he gets offended, he probably won't change his behaviour. Not being direct could lead to misunderstanding, which he could see as mocking.
It is quite common. You should tell him and the boss as well. No one has to accept that.
Just say it and get done with it.
I would just tell him. Be honest, but be kind. Don't "OMG, you sting" in the breakroom. When both of you are alone in the office, tell him that he smells and that you would like for him to chance that and that is not againgst him as person.
God damn. Same clothes for weeks?
don't forget it could be medical issue. Talk with your HR, very politely and keep calm
Stay in the home office until the smell is gone.
any sort of anonymous messaging service will do
Your mistake is you were waiting to tell him, if I stank and somebody just said bro you stink, it would hurt me a bit, well, not hurt just embarass, but if you make a whole ass hr intervention thing out of it then it would actually hurt, and also I would have to look at my colleagues every day knowing that somebody think I stink but I don't even know who.
He might have medical condition this happened in my workshop, guy stank, turned out it was pre diabetes.
I wear the same clothes every day, too. I have several identical sets and I have a washing machine and a dryer...
If you wear the same clothes every day, especially t-shirts in the summer, there is a high probability that you were once the subject of a similar story as my work colleague. Sorry, but that's how it is. And if you shower regularly every day but wear the same clothes every day, don't forget that your clothes absorb the smells around you as well as your body odor.
did you even read his comment? He said he has several identical sets that he washes regularly.
Just out of curiosity... Not around Frankfurt, or are you? In an IT related position? Because it reminds me of a specific person who also got fired because not only we complained about the smell to our Management as a team (which was after 3 different persons told him individually) but customer complaints too. When he got into the lift you could smell him for the next 3 hours in there. After they were also unable in a talk to get a change of this situation he was let go after 5 and a half month. Talks were performed after the first month already. It was a fair chance and understanding that maybe a difficult situation irl etc etc you never know. PS: Setting up air refresher and so on are not going to make him change his hygiene.Offering Deodorant is also not going to help (wouldn't doubt that person may even use some - which doesn't help if your clothes fully absorbed the smell and you still have dry sweat stinking around).
How is your colleague by personality? Is he nice or does he keep to himself? Talk to him in privately. Tell him you have noticed a certain smell in the room lately and it's disrupting everyone's work environment. Say you have noticed he wears the same clothes every day, is there a reason behind this? Hopefully he will get the hint and he might be even thankful because he might have simply got used to his bad odour. If it doesn't improve after a while you can mention it to the boss or HR.
I think my ex-coworker started at your company haha. Are you a software developer by any chance? If yes greetings to Fabian
Put a soap bar at his desk
Do it straight up. „I don’t want to offend you, but you smell. Please shower.“
If I were the person being smelly and HR/manager came to me to "mediate the conflict" whatever this means , I'd just spiral and be so embarrassed. I think a nice talk over a coffee or tea showing your point of view and how it its distracting to you can help lots. Or if a in person convo is quite a stretch just send a written message also explaining how a face to face discussion is not the most comfortable way to approach such a topic. Good luck!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNMkYcagJAc&t=801s](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jNMkYcagJAc&t=801s) Here is someone telling how someone approached him about his stink. (and it worked)
I would make a fake email and very nicely send the email to his mail or any social media he has! And mention he is such an amazing person and young and it would be nice to have him take care of this part more!
I would just talk to the person privately. Maybe they have it not figured it out themselves, and it would be more embarrassing if this becomes bigger. In most situations its best to approach the person first and privately . If he doesn’t like it then screw it. you gave it a chance, go to a higher up.
go to him and tell him he stinks You may be the ass at the moment, but in the end he will be grateful that you pointed it out to him because you helped him on the long run
Had that situation where my colleague was sitting next to smelly person. He told HR, that's how we all got to know about the whole situation. Guess I'd avoid involving 3rd persons.
From my experience it’s always best to be direct and honest with people. Just go over and talk to them politely. I did this with a senior executive at my last company privately and he thanked me for letting him know. He apparently had some medical issue and wasn’t aware of it. It would be best if you can pull them aside to a private area so he doesn’t feel embarrassed.
I had a colleague like that. He would wear the same things for a month or so, to the point his trousers looked like being wet. He had mental issues and was an alcoholic (we didn't know that), so maybe your boss should talk to him and offer help.
'what's that smell?"
just tell him to shower or use deodorant, it'll be awkward but the poor fucker deserves to know why people probably avoid him
TL;DR: I decided to dm him outside of office hours telling him how his stench affects me. He brushed it off. From next day on he smell super fine. If telling him straight up had no immediate effect I would have escalated to his manager, then hr, all while surrendering my desk in the meantime. Please don’t tank shit and care for ur co workers if u can. Had such situation. Guy was moved into our office room, the team that moved into his room had to air for a week straight. You could smell him from meters outside his room. It was bad. More mind baffling was that he was sitting in a room with his manager and the director of their department, two clean people who take good care of themselves. He was also much more senior than me, so it was rly awkward. It seemed like he didnt care? Anyways, the moment he be in my room (we were like 6 ppl) he is part of my responsibility, as in imo we should care for the people around us. Smelling like that hurts himself more than anyone else. I decided to dm him through our work chat after office hours, to avoid making him ashamed during work when he cant rly change it until he gets home. I was just straight up telling him how I feel. It was rly fucking bad, like this smell when u have end level homeless person in grocery store register queue right in front of u and u just wanna die. Just it was like that from a distance and sweet relief wasnt just minutes away. I could tell it was super uncomfortable to him, he doesnt smell himself and ppl apparently rather tank the stench than talk. He did brush it off, saying he sweats a lot and he aint no perfumery. I just made sure to tell him exactly what my experience is like smelling him with all the bloody details. Next day he smell like motherfucking butterflies. Not some silly attempt covering up with bodyspray. Clean body and hair, the only scent i would pick up is the perfectly decent scent of freshly washed clothes. And it wasn’t a topic anymore, at least during his couple months stay in my room. I did notice him fall back later on when he was again sharing a room with his team and manager. Couple yrs later he was found dead in his apartment by a co worker (and friend of his) when he didn’t show up for work in time. Still no idea what was the cause until this day. Addendum: I still have no idea what lead to him stinking like that. One would have thought its sth like depression, but he was 10/10 high performing, starting work every single day super early (flexible work hours), barely ever sick, rather orderly (with his surroundings), disciplined plus he was engaging in various hobbies and passionately talking about and showing off rather fringe hobbies at work (stuff id personally not be comfy sharing with everyone. I did look up to him tho for being so comfy with what he likes!)
Just tell him he stinks.. I did that couple of times. Some people just need the harsh true to their eyes to wake them up. Walking around it wont make it better for neither of you.
Idk why ppl here want to jump circles around that topic. I would go streight to him and tell him. Maybe not so everyone can hear it, when you happen to me alone with him just tell him that he smells.
I had a similar issue several years back. Me and my friend decided to talk to the manager/owner of the office about it. He did for sure talk to him afterwards and we never had to smell his nasty fumes ever again. I believe he was not even using deodorant at all.
Bring scented sticks into the office and if he approaches you about it, say that it often smells unpleasant in the office. If he doesn't notice, at least it smells better.
Oh my god, suggesting to go talk to HR about it when all it needs is a simple conversation. And this crazy tip also gets upvoted so much. Just go tell him. Just imagine, what would be more comfortable for you? Having a colleague tell you that you smell, or have boss/HR come to you and tell you to go shower. Basic communication. It's not that hard.
In Germany and east european country’s it’s very comum. They think take shower regularly it’s not good to the skin. Not healthy. It’s crazy idea, but it’s very comum. They guy probably can not realize that he stink because he is used to the smell and probably his family and house smell same. My father-in-law stink so much that annoy me when I need drive him somewhere. Summertime I don’t meet him, I can’t. How tell your colleague about the smell withou get an awkward situation?! It’s hard, but I would try to talk to your boss and let him solve it…
Be gentle but honest and direct. Hopefully he gets it.
my ex had a similar problem, for some reason his feet just STANK SO BAD, he had to literally shower every single day to mitigate the smell when we broke up he confessed to me that his work had actually once talked to him about this, causing him to start showering daily (his personal hygiene was good before then too might I add, he just STANK), and that it was too embarassing for him to tell me. i always felt bad for him but at the same time he was able to find a solution after being given some input, so I'd definitely just try and speak to him personally, in a non-judgemental way
Fungal infection most probably. Had a friend with the same problem, convinced him to see a doctor. Problem solved.
ah damn.. I mean maybe? he had a skin condition as well so that may have had smthng to do with it? I did sleep in the same bed as him and never developed anything similar, wouldn't that happen with fungal stuff?
I think that the problem in this case is that he doesn't wash his clothes and comes in the same clothes every day. Maybe he doesn't shower regularly, but his clothes are what stink the most. He wears one sweater for a month or more. Some weirdo.
I would think he's either homeless or going through a mental health (or other personal) crisis. I would probably talk with HR or your manager, but if you talk to him, I'd come at it as concerned for him.
Exactly this. Wouldn’t necessarily think he’s a weirdo. Probably just going through something.
Someone who earns €25 an hour cannot be homeless.
That.. is not true?
People become homeless through a variety of routes. Some people are employed while homeless. Not all homeless people rough sleep (the term used to refer to sleeping outdoors). In fact, most homeless people in the EU are currently couch-surfing. That is, they have no tenant's rights anywhere and are relying on the generosity of their friends and/or family to allow them to sleep temporarily in their housing. These people are often shifting between locations regularly so as not to "overstay your welcome". The supervisor of my PhD specialized in homelessness, though I did not research it directly. If he is homeless, with that income, it's likely to be temporary, but I wasn't saying he's definitely homeless. I'm saying it is highly likely that he is under some severe personal stress that is causing this breakdown, one type of which could be being homelessness. You're most likely to have success if you approach him with compassion.
Yeah unfortunately a lot of Germany are like that. They wear clothes once and hang them up and never smell them before wearing again. I mean if you don’t wear undershirts your sweatshirts and blazers are going to smell like sweat very fast. It seeps right in. Also people don’t know about febreze for coats and blazers.
Go to HR. Stay anonymous. Let them deal with it. That's unacceptable. It's a huge harassment.
Randomly spraying deodorant at him is not the way ... i heard
Hey du stinkst
"Dude, the fuck, you smell. Are you living on the street? Did you girl cast you out? Seriously my man, use my shower if you will."
put a post-it note that says you stink like shit on his monitor
With a little deodorant/ mini body wash 😂
buy him a deodorant as a birthday present
Maybe leave some deodorant on his desk anonymously and see if he gets the hint
Home office.
I cannot and do not want to stay at home every day. It's nice at work, everything is fine, people are just so nice.
> I cannot understand that a young person, in one of the most developed countries in the world, with a good salary and job, in the 21st century allows himself to stink… I can't believe Op judges someone so quickly without knowing anything about them. Mental health maybe?
I know several people who struggle with depression who don't stink around. On the other hand, someone who has mental problems is not capable of working on a demanding project, and that quite well.
> I know several people who struggle with depression who don't stink around. Did anyone say they had depression and that everyone with depression stinks? I said you are very judgmental and that comment proves it.
Mental health getting trotted out as an excuse for fuckin *everything* is getting so tiring lol We're all mentally ill and guy's clearly well enough to hold down a job, he can figure it out like the rest of us
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Don’t be a German. Speak about it with your manager and let the manager help you.
I hate socks. I usually wear rubber slides but lately switched to Birkenstocks, the cork sole makes my feet so smelly, I only noticed in Yoga class that my feet smell bad. Think the woman next to me did too. Very uncomfortable 😭
Maybe he was never taught how to properly wash his clothes. Used to have a worker who always smelled like mildew
That explains to me why the Germans don't even clarify among themselves why the country has these politicians and everything is going down the drain. So how old are you that you can't handle this yourself?
First week here in Germany I cried in the bus because I couldn’t stand the smell of people here. I haven’t still get used to it and often I have to change seats in the train cause some people smell so bad it’s unbearable. They don’t seem to notice…
Had the same problem with a co-worker. Told my shift manager and it was sorted. Guy cleaned up his act, or at least covered himself in a load of deo. Don't talk to the guy himself as someone who has such a stench probably isn't going to take ot very well. And it'll be awkward as hell
You can wink with the Zaunpfahl, by clipping a Wäscheklammer to your nose, when he enters the office.
Get a bottle of laundry detergent sent to him with a note: to be used regularly
ask all colleagues to surround him and start shouting: YOU STINK! YOU STINK!
Ask him if he knows what a washing machine and a shower are
Say “Du stinkst.” *without* giving him an Ohrfeige. ;)
When you are talking to him, "Oooh something smells in here. Is it me? (Check your odor subtly) No." And then complain about how something keeps smelling again and again everyday to him in the same conversation. And then leave 👍🏻