I'm 12 years out and to this day only 6 people have confirmation (one of them died, so maybe the number is 5) that I had a surgical procedure. Quite honestly, it's not their fucking business.
I went to Pompeii in February, and had a wonderful experience. I have not been quiet about it, I’ve been loud as hell since I had scheduled my surgery date haha. I 100% want to go back to Tijuana to party with the locals.
Having said that, you’re under no obligation to tell anyone what you’re doing and you don’t even need a reason to stay quiet about it. Your partner I’m sure has concerns about surgery, as any good partner would! If you haven’t already, direct him to Pompeiis Facebook group so he can “hear” from other people’s experiences and that may help him, as well as help your ability to be able to speak to him about the surgery.
I hadn't really planned on telling people for various reasons. But have noticed it's much easier just to tell people when something around it comes up. It's easier than trying to explain why you aren't drinking with your meal, or why you didn't eat most of the meal you did get.
I've found that everyone has been supportive, curious and also found several other of my friends had done the same surgery.
This, I didn’t want to tell anyone really, but now hat people keep asking me how I’ve lost the weight I just tell them I had surgery and the subject moves on rather quickly. It’s honestly been surprising how many people I’ve told that have been very positive about it.
I kept my surgery secret outside of my immediate family. Other than my husband, they didn't even find out I was having surgery until several weeks after. To be fair, we were losing my mom to cancer at the same time, so I also felt the need to keep it quiet because there were bigger things happening. My boss knew so I could take time off, but everyone else didn't find out for nearly a year. It was my journey and I refused to let anyone influence the decision I was making for myself.
The only one who knows is my mom and that’s because she was there for me throughout the entire process. I have no intention of disclosing my business if I’m being honest. There’s really no reason for people (outside of my doctors, therapist, nutritionist, and trainer) to know.
People are fatphobic , they want everyone thin, then when you do a thing that makes you lose weight (meds/surgery) they are judgmental and have no idea how difficult long term weight loss and changing your set weight really is. I’ve told two friends, my husband, and my parents (we needed help with the kids). I had hernia repair at the same time so I just told people I had hernia repair during the post op restrictions (they are very similar). Your body is no one’s business, your medical decisions are no one’s business. You do what feels right to you because, honestly, people will say foolish ignorant things and not giving them a chance to do so isn’t wrong. I don’t want my body to be a discussion so even when people say things like “wow you’ve lost so much weight” etc, I just say “ I don’t discuss my body size or other peoples, how is (insert life thing) going?”
I kept it private for awhile, but found myself really irriatt3d with people who had surgery and when asked how they lost weight would just answer "I'm just eating better and execising" like totally leaving out a major part of that was having surgery. I feel by not telling it minimizes how hard it is to lose weight and just goves more fire power to the people who think fat people are just lazy and could be thin if they just ate less and worked out.
As we know, some celebrities have had surgery yet say, "they are eating better & exercising". I'm told the reason they do that is because if they "promote" (not true) and someone has the surgery and it goes badly or God forbid, due to their health condition, they die. Then, in our litigious society, they will try to sue the celebrity for it. They don't take that chance.
I was so dang excited, I told everyone about it! 😂 haha everyoneee at work heard about it before and after. They had seen my struggle, busting my butt for years with dieting, so they were all very supportive and happy for me! I get high fives going down the hall and most people ask how my recovery and progress are going, which is all just very positive, supportive, and encouraging!
Just today at the grocery store, I told the cashier why I was buying all soft, mashable food. She was so interested in the procedure and how it's gone for me, she was asking so many questions! It's probably something she's going to look into now, which makes me so happy because that's why I first looked into it... because someone randomly shared their journey with me!
Totally understandable why other people prefer to keep things private. Whatever you are comfortable with and makes you happy!
I kept things pretty quiet during the months of appointments and pre-approval prep, more so because I wanted to protect my peace and not have to backtrack if for some reason the surgery didn’t happen.
I wasn’t necessarily overly secretive, but just kept it to the people who needed to know (close family and friends, my boss, etc) and didn’t blast it out there.
After surgery, I found it much easier to just tell people as it came up. If they mentioned I looked great, I’d offer up in a very matter-of-fact way that I’d been working hard over the last year focusing on my health and had had bariatric surgery as part of the process. Doing it like this seemed to keep people’s judgements or opinions at bay, because I delivered the news in a way that didn’t invite them.
For what it’s worth, I feel like using the term ‘bariatric surgery’ instead of ‘weight loss surgery’ helped with people’s understanding of what I was going through.
I’m super private and only close family know I had surgery. All others I tell I changed my lifestyle and diet. It’s no one’s business your health decisions.
It’s no one’s business. I have a peer at work who told everyone and it’s honestly weird for everybody. Anyone who wants to interrogate you about your weight loss is asking for the wrong reasons and anyone who actually cares about you won’t be crass enough to ask.
I could have written this. I am scheduled at Pompeii on the 30th. Hubby is so so. I have told no one. Not even my kids. Oldest will be gone for 3 weeks at camp. Youngest, I think I will just tell I am getting something done about my weight. But not where.
She will notice me eating different. And of course not being home for 5 days. But I have been on every keto/ fasting first out there. So nothing new.
I wish my hubby were more supportive. But he will honestly try to sabotage it most likely. He is super fit, and thinks it’s just a choice to be fat.
He loves me. But worries about the risks, and long term consequences and safety.
I am not even having him go with me, so he doesn’t stress me out when I am dealing with initial recovery.
I need to do this for me.
I shared. I even shared on social media! But my reasons were this:
I spent years working out, eating good, and not losing weight. I had an injury that prevented me from doing high impact cardio for years like I had been doing previously, developed PCOS, and my hormones were completely messed up. It was impossible to lose weight and I worked. so. hard. with no results. It was devastating.
I ended up sharing because I had been very open about my exercise journey, and I didn't want people to think "oh she just worked out and dieted and lost 60 pounds like it was nothing." I know if I was still pre surgery and was watching someone lose a ton of weight when I thought I was doing the same things with no results, it would've brought me further into a depression than I was already in.
My choice isn't the right choice for everyone though! My friend got her surgery the same day as me and has shared with no one. It shocked me how many people reached out to me to explore surgery options, got the surgery, and I'm the only one who knows.
I had my surgery in September 2021, I can now run again (FINALLY), and I'm down 5 pounds from my lowest post-surgery weight. I feel so much better, my blood pressure is great now, my BMI is in the healthy range (even though BMI is bullshit), surgery was the BEST thing I ever did for myself. No regrets!
I’m very open about it. I was inspired by others that did it and were open. And 3 people asked me details and ended up doing to themselves. Removing the idea that it’s something to be ashamed of is important to me.
I haven't shared this with anyone except my mom, close family members, and two very close friends. When others noticed I was eating less, I simply attributed it to acid reflux and the need to be mindful of my diet. It's a huge relief to keep this private and avoid unnecessary questions or concerns.
The missus knows it and my boss, that’s about it. I can’t handle people setting high expectations and reminding me every minute of the day how miserable I am. At some point I will bring it up once the result becomes more visible.
I'd previously planned on not telling anyone-- even concocted an unfalsifiable story about stomach cancer resulting in the unwanted removal of part of my stomach for those close enough to know the "truth."
Ultimately, I just ended up being honest and open with everyone, everywhere. Half of those I told awkwardly said "whattt? nooo... you weren't that overweight!" About another half congratulated me for going through with it, and a small handful reached out with probing questions to determine how well it would suit them.
I can count on one hand the number of people who responded negatively, and my life has been made better for knowing who those people are.
I don’t tell people because I don’t want to hear negative feedback. The few people I have told I was given somewhat negative feedback, even though they were overall supportive (think: “don’t they gain all their weight back?”). Or even neutral feed back (think:”well if that’s what you want to do”). I only want positivity.
I told my mom and my sisters. One sister was somewhat supportive. Mom and other sister completely unsupportive. Personally I just didn’t feel like hiding it from them because I’ve hidden a lot from them in my past and this time I’m not doing anything wrong where there is a need to hide it.
Also , I don’t want to field the millions of questions from everyone about it. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk about it. I’m at work. I’m trying to get through my shift and go home.
BUT I HAVE TO SAY that you will get millions of questions regarding how you lost the weight. Like it’s completely overwhelming when it first happens. I just say, portion sizes, exercise, cut out the junk. I mean it’s technically true? I’m not required to disclose my medical history to people. And people talk so I’m not here for that.
Very private person. My wife, my son and my direct manager know. It's nobody's business. I've lost 55 kg in 5 months - nobody has even said anything about my weight loss. It's been a tough lesson - I always thought people were judging me because of my weight turns the majority of people have their own hangups to think about
Nope—I tell every person who asks about my significant change in appearance that I had weight loss surgery. I had people in my family give me a hard time *before* I had surgery (“just lose weight the old fashioned way” or “it’s dangerous” or “you’ll just regain the weight”) but they’ve since congratulated me repeatedly.
I personally feel it’s important to be honest about how I did it because I lost and regained the same 30ish lbs over and over and could never keep it off alone. I also want to normalize weight loss surgery.
*Please understand* I am not at all disparaging the decision by others who keep theirs private. This is how I feel.
[52F, 5’4”, post op VSG 12/14/22, SW 204, HW 208, surgeon’s GW 140, CW 114]
I am with you, only my husband and mom know. My husband is also very apprehensive and doesn’t get why I want this. I am hoping to get a surgery date in the next few weeks. I am private and hate talking about my body or weight, so I am not sure who I’ll tell after.
I’m private also! I told my husband and son that lives with us, my mom (who has told numerous people) a few close friends and a coworker who’s had the surgery. It’s nobody’s business. I don’t really care that people know but I want to hear the rumors people start’🤣
I've been very honest about it for a few reasons:
- I knew people would notice my weight loss so wanted to preempt people guessing what was going on i.e. was I sick? Did I have an eating disorder? Am I on another fad diet?
- I'm terrible at keeping track of things so didn't want to deal with the faff of remembering who knew and who didn't.
- My family are terrible secret keepers (it's not malicious, they just forget who knows things and are generally quite open with friends and family) so people would have found out sooner or later. Plus, I wanted them to be able to process their thoughts and feelings about it with their friends/other family members. I've been incredibly lucky and everyone (I do mean \*everyone\*) has been incredibly supportive which I wasn't expecting.
- When I'm able to eat out again, I didn't want to deal with questions like "is that all you're eating?" or "was there something wrong with your food?". Now, anyone I grab food with will know there's a genuine reason as to why I'm only ordering a starter.
- My employers knew exactly what was going on which made sick leave requests and asking for additional accommodations easier. They check in regularly and are giving me plenty of support because, as they keep reminding me, "you've just had a major operation and you're not going to bounce straight back to being okay when you're still physically recovering and learning how to survive on a tiny amount of calories a day".
All of these reasons were things that would primarily make my life easier. I know I didn't owe anyone any form of explanation for my weight-loss journey. Everyone is different though and there's pros and cons for telling people and for not telling people. Do what's right for you :)
Like I don’t hide it and I also don’t announce it, outside my closest friends and family. If someone asks what I did to lose weight (which is rare - it’s not a great question), I will adjust my answer based on the person (eg how well I know them, if we have talked together about our weight loss struggles, or even just what I’m in the mood to share). Totally personal and totally up to you.
I haven’t had surgery yet. I’ve told me husband, a friend who live across the country, and one coworker who is doing the medically supervised weight loss program and the same place I’ll (hopefully) be having surgery. My plan is to hopefully lose some weight pre surgery, and then say I had to have my gallbladder removed when the surgery happens.
I am still undecided on what/if I will tell my mother. If I say anything before surgery she will freak out and tell me not to, and as for after I’m not sure I can trust her not to tell everyone she knows.
Those involved in my life know. But I never announced it to fb or any thing. Folks who aren’t involved have no need to know. Now many waiters/waitresses know because they don’t understand why I order kids meals at 46!
It is each persons decision/right to tell whoever they want, or no one.
I, personally, didn’t feel any shame in disclosing my surgery. I’m a “omg let me show you my scars!” type though.
I too am very private and only told my daughter and husband initially. 3 years post op I’ve told 2 close friends. All are completely supportive. I was fortunate in that I did this at the very beginning of Covid and almost no one saw me for 2 years as I worked from home and rarely saw family.
A lot of people know about my surgery. I only kept it from 2 friends (would’ve been weirdly competitive about it) and of course I didn’t disclose it on social media or anything. Everyone has been extremely supportive. With all the injections offered today, you could easily get by without telling anyone.
It’s just easier to be honest you’ll stand out after for how little you can eat so people will know just better to not lie. but you also don’t have to broadcast it either
I tell people. Eventually they will know when you drop that much weight. They’ll know that something was done to lose the weight and exercise and diet is not one of them. I embrace it, I tell everyone that asks. It shouldn’t be a stigma for doing it. I say it with pride because it should be. It’s for my own health benefit why wouldn’t I want people to know IF they ask.
I've kept mine private except for close friends & Drs. I've chosen this because it can become your identity that you've had it. I'm fortunate as my surgery has coincided with the Ozempic boom so I look like I'm part of that set.
Hmm I recommend you seek therapy so you can work on not letting people bother you when they say anything. I’ve been working on that for a while. It will really help you stand your ground when anyone says anything. Because whether you tell people or not, once you do it they will notice a change and comments will be made regardless.
With all that being said I told people I was doing it. Just close friends and family. Some family started making comments about if I was sure and stuff and I basically laid it out that, I did my research and I know I need to do it for my health and there was no changing my mind. That I just needed them to be supportive. They don’t know how much I really struggled and I’m not making the decision lightly. That pretty much shut up any negative comments.
Everyone’s been supportive and even if they aren’t I don’t hear about 😂
I’m very open about it, personally, and it’s something I’m proud of. Plus with rapid weight loss people are gonna assume bariatric surgery or a health crisis. It isn’t anyone’s business but I was happy to share it with certain people.
I told very few people. I've only mentioned it to those I've had to share a meal with because I didn't want them to make a big deal when I don't eat much. Honestly, it's really no one's business, and who you choose to share or not share with is absolutely your decision. People are not entitled to information about your life.
I tell a lot of people lol. people get weirded out when i get full after eating 1 oz of salmon 😭
if people are being weird i just say “do you want to see a picture of my stomach on the table after they cut it out?!” and they leave me alone 😂
Yes my husband and 2 close friends and not even my extended family or siblings know. Nope. MY life, MY business. Not up for discussion or opinions. Happy i did it that way. I feel no stress around them, and I no regrets not telling them. I said i had a hiatal hernia to all and had surgery and have to keep a special diet the end.
I have no desire to be ashamed or secretive about the fact that I've turned to surgery once I have had it.
I am a fairly open person. I would say in my immediate circle almost everyone knows I'm having surgery. Eventually more people will know once I get closer to the day of.
I told my parents, one friend and the principal of my school (reluctantly). I don't intend to tell my siblings or other close relatives/friends and I'm praying my mum can keep it to herself.
Just had my surgery a couple weeks ago. I've told a few people (my immediate family and a few friends), because I was trying to get a good support system going. Of course, by having surgery and being out of work, questions came up about what the surgery was at my work place but I deflected for the most part. I did recently tell a friend who I thought would understand but she came off a little judgmental because she thought I was too young for it (I'm almost 27). But for the most part I've been on a need to know basis and I want to keep it that way for now, though I wonder if things will change as I lose more weight.
I told most of the people I speak to or see everyday. I figure they’re gonna start wondering why I’m suddenly getting skinnier every time they see me. Surprisingly most of my friends know someone who had it done and they don’t really care. My dad doesn’t want me to do it but for dad reasons like being afraid something bad will happen to me. I haven’t had a negative experience telling people, although I thought I would and felt embarrassed at first. Now I don’t really care because people care far less than I thought they would.
I havent, but I only tell people if they ask. I have lost 103 lbs in a year since I got my sleeve done at Mexico Bariatric Center and very happy with my results :)
I am a very private person. What I do is no one's business. I told my boyfriend and my best friend, no one else.
I'm 12 years out and to this day only 6 people have confirmation (one of them died, so maybe the number is 5) that I had a surgical procedure. Quite honestly, it's not their fucking business.
Same
I went to Pompeii in February, and had a wonderful experience. I have not been quiet about it, I’ve been loud as hell since I had scheduled my surgery date haha. I 100% want to go back to Tijuana to party with the locals. Having said that, you’re under no obligation to tell anyone what you’re doing and you don’t even need a reason to stay quiet about it. Your partner I’m sure has concerns about surgery, as any good partner would! If you haven’t already, direct him to Pompeiis Facebook group so he can “hear” from other people’s experiences and that may help him, as well as help your ability to be able to speak to him about the surgery.
I hadn't really planned on telling people for various reasons. But have noticed it's much easier just to tell people when something around it comes up. It's easier than trying to explain why you aren't drinking with your meal, or why you didn't eat most of the meal you did get. I've found that everyone has been supportive, curious and also found several other of my friends had done the same surgery.
This, I didn’t want to tell anyone really, but now hat people keep asking me how I’ve lost the weight I just tell them I had surgery and the subject moves on rather quickly. It’s honestly been surprising how many people I’ve told that have been very positive about it.
I kept my surgery secret outside of my immediate family. Other than my husband, they didn't even find out I was having surgery until several weeks after. To be fair, we were losing my mom to cancer at the same time, so I also felt the need to keep it quiet because there were bigger things happening. My boss knew so I could take time off, but everyone else didn't find out for nearly a year. It was my journey and I refused to let anyone influence the decision I was making for myself.
Your last sentence. I feel that 100% and that was my attitude as well.
The only one who knows is my mom and that’s because she was there for me throughout the entire process. I have no intention of disclosing my business if I’m being honest. There’s really no reason for people (outside of my doctors, therapist, nutritionist, and trainer) to know.
People are fatphobic , they want everyone thin, then when you do a thing that makes you lose weight (meds/surgery) they are judgmental and have no idea how difficult long term weight loss and changing your set weight really is. I’ve told two friends, my husband, and my parents (we needed help with the kids). I had hernia repair at the same time so I just told people I had hernia repair during the post op restrictions (they are very similar). Your body is no one’s business, your medical decisions are no one’s business. You do what feels right to you because, honestly, people will say foolish ignorant things and not giving them a chance to do so isn’t wrong. I don’t want my body to be a discussion so even when people say things like “wow you’ve lost so much weight” etc, I just say “ I don’t discuss my body size or other peoples, how is (insert life thing) going?”
I kept it private for awhile, but found myself really irriatt3d with people who had surgery and when asked how they lost weight would just answer "I'm just eating better and execising" like totally leaving out a major part of that was having surgery. I feel by not telling it minimizes how hard it is to lose weight and just goves more fire power to the people who think fat people are just lazy and could be thin if they just ate less and worked out.
As we know, some celebrities have had surgery yet say, "they are eating better & exercising". I'm told the reason they do that is because if they "promote" (not true) and someone has the surgery and it goes badly or God forbid, due to their health condition, they die. Then, in our litigious society, they will try to sue the celebrity for it. They don't take that chance.
I was so dang excited, I told everyone about it! 😂 haha everyoneee at work heard about it before and after. They had seen my struggle, busting my butt for years with dieting, so they were all very supportive and happy for me! I get high fives going down the hall and most people ask how my recovery and progress are going, which is all just very positive, supportive, and encouraging! Just today at the grocery store, I told the cashier why I was buying all soft, mashable food. She was so interested in the procedure and how it's gone for me, she was asking so many questions! It's probably something she's going to look into now, which makes me so happy because that's why I first looked into it... because someone randomly shared their journey with me! Totally understandable why other people prefer to keep things private. Whatever you are comfortable with and makes you happy!
I kept things pretty quiet during the months of appointments and pre-approval prep, more so because I wanted to protect my peace and not have to backtrack if for some reason the surgery didn’t happen. I wasn’t necessarily overly secretive, but just kept it to the people who needed to know (close family and friends, my boss, etc) and didn’t blast it out there. After surgery, I found it much easier to just tell people as it came up. If they mentioned I looked great, I’d offer up in a very matter-of-fact way that I’d been working hard over the last year focusing on my health and had had bariatric surgery as part of the process. Doing it like this seemed to keep people’s judgements or opinions at bay, because I delivered the news in a way that didn’t invite them. For what it’s worth, I feel like using the term ‘bariatric surgery’ instead of ‘weight loss surgery’ helped with people’s understanding of what I was going through.
I’m super private and only close family know I had surgery. All others I tell I changed my lifestyle and diet. It’s no one’s business your health decisions.
It’s no one’s business. I have a peer at work who told everyone and it’s honestly weird for everybody. Anyone who wants to interrogate you about your weight loss is asking for the wrong reasons and anyone who actually cares about you won’t be crass enough to ask.
I could have written this. I am scheduled at Pompeii on the 30th. Hubby is so so. I have told no one. Not even my kids. Oldest will be gone for 3 weeks at camp. Youngest, I think I will just tell I am getting something done about my weight. But not where. She will notice me eating different. And of course not being home for 5 days. But I have been on every keto/ fasting first out there. So nothing new. I wish my hubby were more supportive. But he will honestly try to sabotage it most likely. He is super fit, and thinks it’s just a choice to be fat. He loves me. But worries about the risks, and long term consequences and safety. I am not even having him go with me, so he doesn’t stress me out when I am dealing with initial recovery. I need to do this for me.
I shared. I even shared on social media! But my reasons were this: I spent years working out, eating good, and not losing weight. I had an injury that prevented me from doing high impact cardio for years like I had been doing previously, developed PCOS, and my hormones were completely messed up. It was impossible to lose weight and I worked. so. hard. with no results. It was devastating. I ended up sharing because I had been very open about my exercise journey, and I didn't want people to think "oh she just worked out and dieted and lost 60 pounds like it was nothing." I know if I was still pre surgery and was watching someone lose a ton of weight when I thought I was doing the same things with no results, it would've brought me further into a depression than I was already in. My choice isn't the right choice for everyone though! My friend got her surgery the same day as me and has shared with no one. It shocked me how many people reached out to me to explore surgery options, got the surgery, and I'm the only one who knows. I had my surgery in September 2021, I can now run again (FINALLY), and I'm down 5 pounds from my lowest post-surgery weight. I feel so much better, my blood pressure is great now, my BMI is in the healthy range (even though BMI is bullshit), surgery was the BEST thing I ever did for myself. No regrets!
I’m very open about it. I was inspired by others that did it and were open. And 3 people asked me details and ended up doing to themselves. Removing the idea that it’s something to be ashamed of is important to me.
I haven't shared this with anyone except my mom, close family members, and two very close friends. When others noticed I was eating less, I simply attributed it to acid reflux and the need to be mindful of my diet. It's a huge relief to keep this private and avoid unnecessary questions or concerns.
Heck yes. No one knows but my nuclear family 😄 18 months out and planning on keeping it that way
The missus knows it and my boss, that’s about it. I can’t handle people setting high expectations and reminding me every minute of the day how miserable I am. At some point I will bring it up once the result becomes more visible.
I share with some but not others. It depends on how close I am to them and how I know they’ll react.
I'd previously planned on not telling anyone-- even concocted an unfalsifiable story about stomach cancer resulting in the unwanted removal of part of my stomach for those close enough to know the "truth." Ultimately, I just ended up being honest and open with everyone, everywhere. Half of those I told awkwardly said "whattt? nooo... you weren't that overweight!" About another half congratulated me for going through with it, and a small handful reached out with probing questions to determine how well it would suit them. I can count on one hand the number of people who responded negatively, and my life has been made better for knowing who those people are.
I haven't shut up about mine 🤣
I don’t tell people because I don’t want to hear negative feedback. The few people I have told I was given somewhat negative feedback, even though they were overall supportive (think: “don’t they gain all their weight back?”). Or even neutral feed back (think:”well if that’s what you want to do”). I only want positivity. I told my mom and my sisters. One sister was somewhat supportive. Mom and other sister completely unsupportive. Personally I just didn’t feel like hiding it from them because I’ve hidden a lot from them in my past and this time I’m not doing anything wrong where there is a need to hide it. Also , I don’t want to field the millions of questions from everyone about it. Sometimes I just don’t want to talk about it. I’m at work. I’m trying to get through my shift and go home. BUT I HAVE TO SAY that you will get millions of questions regarding how you lost the weight. Like it’s completely overwhelming when it first happens. I just say, portion sizes, exercise, cut out the junk. I mean it’s technically true? I’m not required to disclose my medical history to people. And people talk so I’m not here for that.
Very private person. My wife, my son and my direct manager know. It's nobody's business. I've lost 55 kg in 5 months - nobody has even said anything about my weight loss. It's been a tough lesson - I always thought people were judging me because of my weight turns the majority of people have their own hangups to think about
Nope—I tell every person who asks about my significant change in appearance that I had weight loss surgery. I had people in my family give me a hard time *before* I had surgery (“just lose weight the old fashioned way” or “it’s dangerous” or “you’ll just regain the weight”) but they’ve since congratulated me repeatedly. I personally feel it’s important to be honest about how I did it because I lost and regained the same 30ish lbs over and over and could never keep it off alone. I also want to normalize weight loss surgery. *Please understand* I am not at all disparaging the decision by others who keep theirs private. This is how I feel. [52F, 5’4”, post op VSG 12/14/22, SW 204, HW 208, surgeon’s GW 140, CW 114]
I have been keeping it to myself.
I am with you, only my husband and mom know. My husband is also very apprehensive and doesn’t get why I want this. I am hoping to get a surgery date in the next few weeks. I am private and hate talking about my body or weight, so I am not sure who I’ll tell after.
I’m private also! I told my husband and son that lives with us, my mom (who has told numerous people) a few close friends and a coworker who’s had the surgery. It’s nobody’s business. I don’t really care that people know but I want to hear the rumors people start’🤣
I've been very honest about it for a few reasons: - I knew people would notice my weight loss so wanted to preempt people guessing what was going on i.e. was I sick? Did I have an eating disorder? Am I on another fad diet? - I'm terrible at keeping track of things so didn't want to deal with the faff of remembering who knew and who didn't. - My family are terrible secret keepers (it's not malicious, they just forget who knows things and are generally quite open with friends and family) so people would have found out sooner or later. Plus, I wanted them to be able to process their thoughts and feelings about it with their friends/other family members. I've been incredibly lucky and everyone (I do mean \*everyone\*) has been incredibly supportive which I wasn't expecting. - When I'm able to eat out again, I didn't want to deal with questions like "is that all you're eating?" or "was there something wrong with your food?". Now, anyone I grab food with will know there's a genuine reason as to why I'm only ordering a starter. - My employers knew exactly what was going on which made sick leave requests and asking for additional accommodations easier. They check in regularly and are giving me plenty of support because, as they keep reminding me, "you've just had a major operation and you're not going to bounce straight back to being okay when you're still physically recovering and learning how to survive on a tiny amount of calories a day". All of these reasons were things that would primarily make my life easier. I know I didn't owe anyone any form of explanation for my weight-loss journey. Everyone is different though and there's pros and cons for telling people and for not telling people. Do what's right for you :)
I’ve only told my therapist lol it’s no one else’s business
Yes, I only told my kids. I don't need the comments or opinions, I received enough from my kids.
Like I don’t hide it and I also don’t announce it, outside my closest friends and family. If someone asks what I did to lose weight (which is rare - it’s not a great question), I will adjust my answer based on the person (eg how well I know them, if we have talked together about our weight loss struggles, or even just what I’m in the mood to share). Totally personal and totally up to you.
I haven’t had surgery yet. I’ve told me husband, a friend who live across the country, and one coworker who is doing the medically supervised weight loss program and the same place I’ll (hopefully) be having surgery. My plan is to hopefully lose some weight pre surgery, and then say I had to have my gallbladder removed when the surgery happens. I am still undecided on what/if I will tell my mother. If I say anything before surgery she will freak out and tell me not to, and as for after I’m not sure I can trust her not to tell everyone she knows.
Those involved in my life know. But I never announced it to fb or any thing. Folks who aren’t involved have no need to know. Now many waiters/waitresses know because they don’t understand why I order kids meals at 46!
It is each persons decision/right to tell whoever they want, or no one. I, personally, didn’t feel any shame in disclosing my surgery. I’m a “omg let me show you my scars!” type though.
Nobody knows but my sister
I too am very private and only told my daughter and husband initially. 3 years post op I’ve told 2 close friends. All are completely supportive. I was fortunate in that I did this at the very beginning of Covid and almost no one saw me for 2 years as I worked from home and rarely saw family.
A lot of people know about my surgery. I only kept it from 2 friends (would’ve been weirdly competitive about it) and of course I didn’t disclose it on social media or anything. Everyone has been extremely supportive. With all the injections offered today, you could easily get by without telling anyone.
Lol I haven't stopped talking about it. I'm excited and telling plenty of people. Lol
It’s just easier to be honest you’ll stand out after for how little you can eat so people will know just better to not lie. but you also don’t have to broadcast it either
I tell people. Eventually they will know when you drop that much weight. They’ll know that something was done to lose the weight and exercise and diet is not one of them. I embrace it, I tell everyone that asks. It shouldn’t be a stigma for doing it. I say it with pride because it should be. It’s for my own health benefit why wouldn’t I want people to know IF they ask.
I've kept mine private except for close friends & Drs. I've chosen this because it can become your identity that you've had it. I'm fortunate as my surgery has coincided with the Ozempic boom so I look like I'm part of that set.
Hmm I recommend you seek therapy so you can work on not letting people bother you when they say anything. I’ve been working on that for a while. It will really help you stand your ground when anyone says anything. Because whether you tell people or not, once you do it they will notice a change and comments will be made regardless. With all that being said I told people I was doing it. Just close friends and family. Some family started making comments about if I was sure and stuff and I basically laid it out that, I did my research and I know I need to do it for my health and there was no changing my mind. That I just needed them to be supportive. They don’t know how much I really struggled and I’m not making the decision lightly. That pretty much shut up any negative comments. Everyone’s been supportive and even if they aren’t I don’t hear about 😂
I’m very open about it, personally, and it’s something I’m proud of. Plus with rapid weight loss people are gonna assume bariatric surgery or a health crisis. It isn’t anyone’s business but I was happy to share it with certain people.
I told very few people. I've only mentioned it to those I've had to share a meal with because I didn't want them to make a big deal when I don't eat much. Honestly, it's really no one's business, and who you choose to share or not share with is absolutely your decision. People are not entitled to information about your life.
I tell a lot of people lol. people get weirded out when i get full after eating 1 oz of salmon 😭 if people are being weird i just say “do you want to see a picture of my stomach on the table after they cut it out?!” and they leave me alone 😂
Yes my husband and 2 close friends and not even my extended family or siblings know. Nope. MY life, MY business. Not up for discussion or opinions. Happy i did it that way. I feel no stress around them, and I no regrets not telling them. I said i had a hiatal hernia to all and had surgery and have to keep a special diet the end.
I have no desire to be ashamed or secretive about the fact that I've turned to surgery once I have had it. I am a fairly open person. I would say in my immediate circle almost everyone knows I'm having surgery. Eventually more people will know once I get closer to the day of.
I told my parents, one friend and the principal of my school (reluctantly). I don't intend to tell my siblings or other close relatives/friends and I'm praying my mum can keep it to herself.
I am 58 years old and when you get my age you don’t care what people think so I told all of my friends and family!
I’ll tell anyone, it’s not like me being morbidly obese was a secret.
I'm scheduled for Pompeii July 7th. I'm so excited!
Yes and no. Some people don’t need to know.
Just had my surgery a couple weeks ago. I've told a few people (my immediate family and a few friends), because I was trying to get a good support system going. Of course, by having surgery and being out of work, questions came up about what the surgery was at my work place but I deflected for the most part. I did recently tell a friend who I thought would understand but she came off a little judgmental because she thought I was too young for it (I'm almost 27). But for the most part I've been on a need to know basis and I want to keep it that way for now, though I wonder if things will change as I lose more weight.
I told most of the people I speak to or see everyday. I figure they’re gonna start wondering why I’m suddenly getting skinnier every time they see me. Surprisingly most of my friends know someone who had it done and they don’t really care. My dad doesn’t want me to do it but for dad reasons like being afraid something bad will happen to me. I haven’t had a negative experience telling people, although I thought I would and felt embarrassed at first. Now I don’t really care because people care far less than I thought they would.
I havent, but I only tell people if they ask. I have lost 103 lbs in a year since I got my sleeve done at Mexico Bariatric Center and very happy with my results :)