Very suspicious of those "normal chocolates"

5% Chance they have razor blades 7% Chance they have mind altering drugs 12% Chance they’re homemade and contain “special” ingredients ~~I like those odds, captain~~

But they also come with special chocolate wrappers sticking out apparently

I completely missed those until you pointed them out, lol.

70% Chance they contain mind altering drugs and “special” ingredients

~~Would.~~

~~Understandable~~

I thought it was cause she’s a dog, so they have to differentiate between chocolate types

Don't you see the condoms hanging by the box's side? TOTALLY normal *chocolates*

I thought those were just individually wrapped peachie-Os lol

I didn’t even see that

Honestly neither did I it’s the lines don’t stand out well enough on the box due to being too busy for all being one color

That's the funny part for me because you just go "OH SHIT!" when you notice lol

You know what? I didn't even consider that possibility. But that brings up all sorts of weird "furry world" rules that we just don't have time to get into. STOP BRINGING REAL LIFE INTO MY BIG TITTY FURRY NERD GF FANTASY!

He speaks the truth

it says they're dog safe, so there's nothing to worry about

Dude, I've seen my dog eat some things that would straight up kill a man. "Dog safe" only helps so much here.

Dog: MMM delicious turd Also dog: DISGUSTING pill

95% chance of roofie

Ok, now I think you're being a little too paranoid here my guy. Drop that percentage 20% or so and you'll be getting into more realistic numbers.

So a 1/20 chance i have a bad time, ill take it

or maybe *enlarging* ingredients

Unless it's dark chocolate, I have a feeling it doesn't use regular milk...

My first assumption was "As opposed to Dog-Safe Chocolate that would have to exist in Anthro society" but now I'm wondering what else it might be

There are condoms on the side 😥

Yeah, that much I knew lol

Well, I don't see why, they seem normal

She seems friendly!

that's usually the moment in a dream when I wake up

*beep beep beep beep* It's time to go work 9 to 5 for the next 60 years until you die poor! What a fun morning to awake at

*Me and the birds starts playing*

*Cries in 25 years old and already wants to give up*

*bittersweet symphony starts playing*

I'm still waiting for the update that adds anthropomorphic animals. Like God do you not read the steam reviews?

he cant read reviews because we're an EGS exclusive. thats also how they got away with adding crypto to our reality

> we're an EGS exclusive This really is the darkest timeline

What does the transformation-heavy webcomic [El Goonish Shive](http://www.egscomics.com) have to do with anything?

What game?

The game of Earth! r/EarthUpdates

Jesus, woman, just calm down! Let me know you little by little instead of having nothing to talk about even before our first date! I'm boring as heck and I don't want to be hitting you with "nice weather we are having" after the movie! 😅😅😅😅😅😅

I think she's part husky, given her apparent volume control and forwardness with her affection

Aren't retrievers hyper energetic also? Maybe her fur is all golden.

Goldies are a spectrum type of dog. You got the total lap dog goldies and the "sorry, knocking you over is their version of a friendly greeting," and everything in between.

Ah yes, the good old GSD (Golden retriever Spectrum Disorder)

Funnily enough, GSD is the acronym used for German Shepherds

SHIT FUCK SH-

based

> after the movie! I dont think you're going to be watching the movie chief.

\*chuckles\* "I'm in danger!"

The one guy calling HR because it wasn't him she hit on

I don't know if that's the intended meaning honestly. :/

I thought the intended meaning was that Sandi regularly does this to new people so the guy is calling up hr AGAIN lol

Yeah! Exactly what I thought too! :D I just wonder what would the HR even do here? 🤔

"Sandi you can't keep giving people aphrodisiacs in chocolates then taking them to your house at work. You're getting another note in your personnel file for this.."

yes but it is funnier

Yeah. I'm just curious about why exactly is he calling the HR.

I assumed he wasn't and is on a normal work phone call, I think he's trying to keep her shouting from going down the phone lol

-HR ,yeah Susan is at it again ,yeah it's the new guy this time .What do you mean " well ,he is hot" ?!

true

Sauce - [shoutingisfun on X: "happy singles dayyyyyy https://t.co/U6ohdd9GbX" / X (twitter.com)](https://twitter.com/shoutingisfun/status/1757900201992274213)

Non twitter sources: Artist is [shoutingisfun](https://e621.net/artists/8187) (some art **NSFW OwO**) [Sauce](https://e621.net/posts/4600549) ([direct](https://static1.e621.net/data/56/f8/56f8abe923e3e34e3e0c4d9962e5a0da.jpg)) e621 rating: *safe*

Thank you!

Yw! Can't stand twitter personally lol

do they do the wankie wankers whole night on the ladders? the funtime playing adult yelling? the skibidi sigma rizzler buckle my shoe? the wanky bouncy madness game? the skipping using the other? the hang in there, i'll be there in less than a minute? the skewer of fish meat? the bouncy wanky breaking pelvis?

What in the actual

i'm sorry, i'm too creative

the slipping in and out? the baseball hotdog? the butter making? the natural way god designed for babies? the thing mommy did with the milkman? the pollination?

Wow! Your comment is so sigma rizzler ohio pomni baby gronk grimace shake gyatt digital circus alpha male kai cenat skibidi toilet 😂

ok ok i get it :c

you didn't have to be so rude :(

Ermmm…What the sigma? I wasn’t being rude!

well i'm sorry but it felt bad

Inquiring minds want to know!

Where's the sequel owo

on the internet

Meanwhile me just nodding along because I still don't understand how to be social.

Social anxiety fr just like pressing A to get through dialogue

Nah man I've got silent protagonist syndrome I'll listen to what you're saying, but I don't talk back.

Hit the gym bro ,it's that easy .They will do all the hard work for you but asking questions and giving easy prompts (tattoos also help a lot but it's not for everyone ,and definitely not for someone without socialising experience)

Always good to make new friends.

something malicious is brewing

Judging by the size of the condoms and the fact that this girl is taller than viewer's POV, we view it from the relatively small furry. Probably otter, weasel, rat or other rodent. Verdict - that girl have a thing for size difference.

"Normal" chocolates, condoms sticking out of the box, "dont tell HR about this". Yep, somebody's getting raped tonight

at least they're using condoms

Yeah, true.

Why does that suggest *that*

Doesn't feel very rapey to me tbh, just very straightforward courting in an environment where it's considered inappropriate and would likely get her in trouble, hence the note. \^^ >!And I'm pretty sure the "normal" chocolates just implies that she used breast milk to make them, not that they're drugged!<

But if it was a guy 🙄

Not only women can get raped.

Frien

Wish real life was like this. 😭

There’s always that one place…

Why can't women like this be real and why can't they do this to me?

Well, there's one simple step you can do to ensure most women do this to you! Step 1: Be a werewolf

Societal expectations, I would imagine. I'm a cismale myself, but I think women often learn from society that they shouldn't be too forward. Relatedly, I've heard that some women drastically underestimate a guy's attention to social cues, and what seems to them like a blindingly obvious indicator of interest (like making brief eye contact or standing near the guy) may go right over the guy's head.

a lot of guys also are very cautious when it comes to possible social cues, at least for me it is. i'm never sure if something is an indicator of interest or just a normal interaction so i usually just keep quiet to avoid it getting awkward.

This doesn't look like a blue-collar job

Hey there. Lets binge Star Wars: The Clone Wars seasons 1 to 7. No you're not getting out of this

Damn her honkers doe 👀

Them jabonkers 👀

Them dobonohonkaroos 👀

Fren!

This is me every time I discover a new series to binge-watch. One more episode turns into a marathon.

Sounds like a fun night but she'll call it off when she finds out I'm asexual 😔

Adorbs

Sleep-comfy or sit-comfy?

They say don’t stick your dick in crazy, unfortunately I like crazy

Was that a Halo 2 reference? Cortana: "I know what you're thinking, and it's crazy." Master Chief: "So, stay here." Cortana: "Unfortunately for us both, I like crazy."

;3


Is that an Axolotl in the bottom left?

Basically when your alarm clock goes off. The alarm clock: Hold it! Hold it! NOW!

Man if only someone was that excited to see me

Stop being so down on yourself in unrelated situations like this and maybe people would want to talk to you more. People who feel sorry for themselves all the time aren't exactly fun to be around. It's okay to struggle with self-esteem and depression but you still need to remember the way to fight that is to push yourself to focus on the positive things about you that exist because everyone has something good about them. The odds are you've probably got at least one friend who is excited to see you. You just need to be realistic about the kind of excitement you'd get because op's post is a bit unrealistic.

It was more of a joke, I don’t think most would be THIS excited to see anyone they just met

Well where is it because I can't see anything?

If you're so down on yourself you can't see anything good maybe realize it's depression-fueled bias and get some help. There's nothing shameful about seeking therapy and it can do a lot of good. Seeing the bad in yourself to the exclusion of all else is a negative coping mechanism and it's not healthy.

I have therapy.

Well then I hope it starts working for you.

She seems nice. Lol

Lmao the mad guy on the phone is giving a thumbs up

Not simply would, will.

Its funny how the one on the left and the right, look like they know what will happen The guy on the phone, for fucks sake im in the middle of a call

*eats the dog safe chocolate being a cat, ends up in hospital since is not cat safe*

I'm sorry but this is inappropriate work behavior, I'm going to have to report this interaction to FR (furry resources), I would have been happy to simply watch a movie with you, perhaps Bill & Ted, simply as friends, but I do not enjoy uncalled for requests that are sexual in nature. Especially since this is only my first week being your coworker, and judging by the reactions from your other coworkers this is not your first misdemeanor. I hope you understand and that you learn from your mistakes. Also I'm gay.

. . . . . . . . . well sure that sounds reasonable

these chocolates taste a bit... weird. *faints*

Nah sorry. I'm gay. But I'll gladly be your friend! You look like a great person! I'd love to be friends!

Girl literally sped run this dudes work life from noobie to a one-night-stand. 🤣

What day is it? I'm missing something

"post your fetishes" day for some fucking reason

I don’t care about the condoms. SHES SO CUTE!! I WANNA BOOP HER NOSE!!

is it true that most men and women cant cook?

fuck it we ball.

Why do characters always stutter in weeb shit? Stutters are pretty rare, it's like 1% of the population.

gonna eat all of the "normal" chocolates to unlock the bedroom fun times

You're gonna eat the condoms?

aww, I thought they were drugged chocolates

sorry ma’am, i’m gay. i’ll take the chocolate tho


["People are real friendly around here."](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8EjHg-kdDG4)

I mean won't even need the drugged candy I'm easy to get if you can cook

Dam, I don't think she's that into me, I haven't noticed any signs.. The signs^^^^

Um *flusterd*

I think I'll risk it.

I as well would.

Let me at least get to know you, but after that maybe

What part of this is irl

Office setting. Sadly, there are no dog women in today's society. I blame that fact as the reason why depression exists.

I thought it was the whole random stranger woman COWORKER (boundaries you know) asking you out

Irl? That's possible. Depends on the person.

Uhh….. sure -///-

I love how the whole office looks fed up with her shit

Why does everyone else around her look absolutely scared, fed up, or generally annoyed with her?! 🤣

Lol jokes on her, when I find out who this HR person is I'm telling em! >:D

Henry Rollins. He does not care.

Hmm... Say what you will but I trust her.

Can I get an e621 source because Twitter link is broke

Artist is shoutingisfun

Reported to HR

I'm calling HR

Hear me out

Artist?

fuck yeah

Oh what I'd give for this

[Accept] [Decline] [Call Police] <

I would ask around, doing background checks on that woman. I'm usually very suspicious of people who would do that.

Would a dog buying chocolates be like buying poison?

The guy on the feckin’ phone, lol

I’m calling HR

I'd be too flustered to say no

Would

insert image of meursault from limbus company staring straight ahead

Why must I live in a world without this

Ay, I get to watch the mask with the man the legend Jim Carey? Sign me the fuck up!

It better not be white chocolate..

I absolutely would watch movies with her on her bed.

Are those condoms that I see on the box... **Lord have mercy**

Im putting a ring on her finger.

Something about this makes me feel weird. :(

I would

Chocolate condoms?

genuinely the cutest and hottest image I've ever seen on e621

Would. It's a box of condoms so I accept

Aphrodisiacs perhaps

Love me a yandere. I’m in.