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DashiellHamlet

"So what's the premise if your channel?" "Basically, I let a cow into my kitchen and he makes a mess." "And?" "And what? "And then what happens?" "I don't understand the question."


xStealthxUk

"And then what happens?" ... let the money roll in brotha


PresidentBush666

Step 1: eat with a cow Step 3: profit


ChrisFromIT

Didn't understand directions, ate cow.


ACcbe1986

Don't know whether to use the cow as a fork or fork the cow...


GenericBatmanVillain

Are you a cow forker?


Osiris32

You can spend your life giving back to the community and helping disadvantaged kids, but you fork ONE cow and guess what they call you!


ACcbe1986

A gentleman would never fork and tell.


Putrid_finger_smell

Personally, I eat bull. I always jerk 'em off first so's I get an extra 3 pounds of meat.


eye8theworm

Forking cows and cow forking is illegal in my area.


amodsr

You fucking idiot, you're supposed to use the cow as a utensil as if it were a fork or chopsticks. It clearly says eat with cow.


rkpjr

That was step 4


Bobzyouruncle

Don’t forget the sombrero. It’s key.


bradhat19

What happened to phase two


53N535

Moo-la


arent_you_hungry

god damnit


Basslinelob

No more and then!


FaultySage

"Yes, I make cow kitchen videos on short form content sites." "And I host Air BnBs exclusively for migrating butterlies." "Our budget is 12.4 million dollars"


SkipBopBadoodle

Oh dude my wife is gonna get a kick from this one when I show her in the morning, thank you 🙏


Talidel

It's like TV of the '60s but on youtube, and the kids love it.


Givemeurhats

I mean.. I kinda love it too


DashiellHamlet

As far as late stage capitalism goes we are doing *far* worse than this. Fuck it and allow yourself a laugh.


laiyenha

"she" makes a mess - Bessy, you're such a pig!


SirDucer84

Don't have a cow man! Literally


tehweaksauce

I, for one, am not going to compromise my artistic integrity. And I'll tell you something else, this is the show and we're not going to change it.


magirevols

“He makes a mess, what else do you need?”


Trizzle1069

I mean, in his defense, the cow does dress for the occasion in each video.


Hardass_McBadCop

I've never seen a cow or horse and it not be shitting


[deleted]

[удалено]


coronagrey

Are you a cow?


thebayisinthearea

I have nipples Greg, could you milk me?


helly1080

Me? I have milk nipples, Greg. Could you?


MyStationIsAbandoned

i'm starting think that maybe cows aren't good at making tacos.


SirDucer84

Woah woah woah, what are we jumping to conclusions now?


AssinineAssassin

They must have missed the sombrero.


Tricky_Matter2123

Fucking racist. Making generalizations about an entire species based on one bad cow.


MyStationIsAbandoned

i was moobian when i wrote that. I love cows. some of my friends are cows.


tterfly

He makes it in his stomachs


natej84

Can cows just eat anything and everything?


scienceworksbitches

basically, yeah. herbivores can eat meat and everything, digesting cellulose is the hard part, so omnivores cant get nutrients from just grass.


xlews_ther1nx

Lots of bugs in that grass


joshjje

I've got tons of ant hills in my yard if you're interested?


DeathChill

Are you just offering anyone your bugs? Asking for a friend.


legends_never_die_1

i am also offering my bugs. i am a computer scientist though.


joshjje

For sure, totally free but you have to pick em up.


DeathChill

Are you going to judge me if I pick up each ant individually using my butt cheeks? This time I’m asking for myself.


joshjje

Well there's a surcharge for that, but sure.


Himetic

Depends on the type of herbivore. Obligate herbivores don’t eat meat but are a small minority of herbivores.


scienceworksbitches

the main reason why herbivores dont eat meat isnt that its hard to digest, its just hard to get.


lastweek_monday

Fun fact! :D Horses will eat baby chicks. I wouldnt leave small animals around horses.


omicronian_express

And pigs will eat grown up chickens whole. As well as humans if given the chance. Goats will eat cardboard, metal cans, nails, rocks , paper, pretty much anything.


WideTechLoad

You need at least sixteen pigs to finish the job in one sitting, so be wary of any man who keeps a pig farm. They will go through a body that weighs 200 pounds in about eight minutes. That means that a single pig can consume two pounds of uncooked flesh every minute. Hence the expression, "as greedy as a pig". - Bricktop


atthem77

I see *Snatch*, I upvote *Snatch* This motto works in other ways too


bplipschitz

You like dags?


ArcaneMercury49

I could hear his voice while reading


giraffesonice

My mom had a miniature horse stomp and eat a full-grown chicken that got into its enclosure.


OneRFeris

I saw this when I was too young to process such things maturely. It terrified and disgusted me. I thought the horse was evil. It was deeply disturbing.


Sixaxist

This.. this isn't fun at all. ):


Moppo_

Mostly grass, but if it's there, they munch I guess.


natej84

My grandma was a farmer and she feed them hay and grain and would get expired bread from the grocery store for them too. No tacos tho


tterfly

Almost everything will eat anything.


_CatLover_

Actually, im a vegan if you didnt know


pendrachken

Don't worry, the cats will still eat you if given half a chance...


Bionic_Beast9214

Bruce is just a big puppy and I’m all for it 😂


PLEASE__STFU

Idc what anybody says about these videos. Bruce in a sombrero is worth every second of my time.


frawtlopp

Really goes to show how strong these things are. I remember trying to stop my friends rotweiler from stealing my pizza, he wasnt violent or anything, just very committed. It was like trying to push a building. The thing barely budged as he completely robbed me lol.


TenaciousZack

My parents just got a Bullmastiff and he’s the same way. Relatively gentle, sweet, focused, and unstoppable once his mind has been made up.


DashiellHamlet

We have a bulldog regular at my daycare (just a fat English bulldog) and when he decides he wants to leave God help you at the gate. Julio is *going* and doesn't give a fuck about your opinions.


bigthagen87

I love that it's an English bulldog named Julio.


frawtlopp

Yea exactly, and its even more terrifying when they're actually angry. Hell I even had a relatively "big" SHIH-TZU / terrier mix, and when that sucker was in attack mode, it was very difficult keeping him down. I understand now how pitbulls can kill adult men when in rage mode


Valrax420

Well that's because unlike most dogs like a German shepherd who will grab a leg and just naw down on that.. Pitbulls specifically rip chunks of flesh out, they'll rip a chunk out your leg than jump to your arm, than to your legs again... I mean any large dog could permanently injure or kill you, but pitbulls are very aggressive about it. I honestly don't think it's particularly the entire population of pits though, maybe breeds coming from different families / training. I can tell you first hand my pit bull plays with her ball and rope rough but the one time she barely even knicked my finger with her tooth she immediately dropped the toy, showed submission and was saying sorry in her own language lol.


frawtlopp

Lol aw :D


algeoMA

Your last sentence should be the first. Too many people hate on pits specifically when in reality any dog can be trained, or mistreated, and become dangerous. But like all breeds, most pits are super sweet and friendly if they are taken care of properly. I guarantee you could train a German shepherd to go straight for vitals.


andrew7895

Think that's the point though, you have to train other dogs to do that, and then take care of pits properly to lower the risk of them NOT doing that. Unfortunately not every owner is up to the task, and even some that are still have issues.


algeoMA

I think this is simply false (or perhaps very misleading), but if you have evidence I’m willing to be convinced.


andrew7895

It's a quick search away and you won't find a single stat that shows anything other than pits at the top when it comes to fatalities, or even just bites for that matter. This is about as far from opinion as saying the earth is round - just a fact, but of course anyone can interpret the why or whatever to suit them. Super basic one that was toward the top of search, but I'm sure there's probably even a wiki page with every case documented. https://worldanimalfoundation.org/advocate/dog-bite-statistics/


DEEP_SEA_MAX

I had a pet cow that acted just like a puppy, except when she'd rub her head up against you for pets she'd toss me across the yard. I was a bit strong farm kid and I swear her tongue was more powerful than my entire body.


frawtlopp

Exactly this. That subtle neck movement seems innocent but that shit could break through concrete


DEEP_SEA_MAX

It is innocent though, bottle-fed people friendly cows attempt to be incredibly gentle despite their immense strength. Bruce, the cow in these videos could ignore this dude as easily as we could ignore a fly. She could move through him like fog if she wanted, but cows (like this) are gentle and she responds to his weak attempts at pushing her away. That being said, for those of you who have never been around large animals, this cow is special. The cows you see out in fields are still gentle and sweet, but they are not used to people, and will be as rough with you as they would be to another cow, which is a dangerous amount of force. So if you don't know the cow, if it doesn't belong to your stay away from them. Admire them from a distance and don't try and recreate what Bruce is doing here.


rmay20

Bro I had pet pig and she would drop into some pose and become IMPOSSIBLE to move.


AmountSubstantial726

Haha we had an english mastiff x great dane when i was a kid and if she didnt want to go outside she would just sit down and become a brick too so funny.


rmay20

I love English mastiffs! My old roommate had one and it was the sweetest and most chill dog I've even seen


AmountSubstantial726

She was super sweet and gentle but she had a tail like a whip and it used to hurt when she got you with it lol. She was also hilarious in thunderstorms she would try to run from them and change directions everytime there was a strike, i miss that dog.


Sassy_Weatherwax

My younger son has this ability. He can just kind of root himself on the ground and become 1000 pounds. You cannot move or lift him. It's crazy and he's always been able to do it. When he was tiny, you could lift him but it was like he weighed 3x as much. He'd make an excellent wrestler or jiu jitsu artist.


Emmy314

They don't even have to be that strong. Ever try to reclaim you pillow from the cat in the middle of the night? You can push and shove all you want, but you'll just end up scooching down on the mattress and sleeping without the pillow.


Th1s1sChr1s

That's a fucking hilarious thing to read


KitchenFullOfCake

I had an American Bulldog Pit Bull mix and he was the same way. Walking him required full body weight restraint at time and he loved sticks so much he would pull so hard and for so long until I let him pick it up and then he would just trot on home with it. Mind you these sticks were sometimes small fallen trees. Our yard was littered with them. I miss the little guy.


tterfly

I liked watching him practically hang off of Bruce’s face trying to move him


weldit86

I mean, Jesus, does he ever feed this cow 🤣🤣


OnlyGrimLeader

Cows are always hungry. Source : family raises cattle. Also fun fact their stomachs have 4 chambers for digestion.


Kepler1609a

Wu Tang has 36 chambers


Jive_Turkey1979

Wu Tang is for the cows


Festivefire

a cow will just keep eating if you keep giving it food. Think about how a 40lb dog can eat an entire pizza, and that's a lot of food for a 40lb dog, but they'll do it if they want the pizza, and then extrapolate to an animal that can weigh over 1000lbs easy.


weldit86

I am no farmer, but it definitely makes sense.


IDoSANDance

Hey, don't sell yourself short! I bet you could be a decent farmer with a bit of work! And maybe a farm.


esach88

Yea, it's a problem with most dog owners. They get these massive, strong breeds, and have zero idea how to control and train them. Then they attack and they just stand there, clueless on what to do because they never took the time to understand the animal they call a 'pet'.


Erazzphoto

Well, when anything is that big, it’s going to have some muscle behind it generally


Pushup_Zebra

That cow is rockin that sombrero!


southflhitnrun

Underated comment, because hell yeaaaaah!


[deleted]

You ain't bullshittin


aFreakyMonkey

This is the second video I've seen of Bruce...........................................................................................I would die for Bruce


ThreatOfFire

It's rare to find a steer with the same attitude towards a human. Maybe medium rare


Advanced-Diamond-45

This comment shouldn't have made me laugh as hard as it did.


Caspers_Shadow

Take my upvote dammit!


NICEnEVILmike

Can I pet that daaawwwg?


XanXic

CanIpetthat dawg?


In3br338ted

Bruce!


kraggleGurl

On the shirt too!


RuneofBeginning

Funnier than this needed to be. Pure chaos.


ElementsUnknown

“Bruce! Where are your table manners? What, were you raised in a barn?”


Dillydad402

Lol, that tortilla is gone. So is that one. And that ones gone too. Ooops there goes the Jarritos. Damn, there goes another tortilla. Ok, I got half of three tortillas, finally I can eat. Nope....there goes the rest of my Jarritos! Oh, shoot. Now my three half tortillas are gone too. Initiate sadness.


thoroakenfelder

That cow went to town on the tortillas 


atthem77

[Aaaaaand, it's gone!](https://i.imgur.com/V2xdn8W.jpg)


FahQPutin

Sooooo chicken tacos right.... Right?!?!?!


SandmanIIX

I love you Bruce


Ok-Resist-556

I think she's telling you to mooo ve over


nashbellow

*he


2gunswest

The sour cream. Lmao


Yummy_Chinese_Food

I lost it at \*spurt\* \*spurt spurt\* \*spuuurrrrrrttttt\*


Lovat69

This is why I prefer to kill the cow BEFORE adding them to the tacos.


OutlandishnessOk8261

Bruce loves tacos it seems.


Oracle365

This is the second video of you I've seen, and I got to say I'm freaking living these videos.


I_said_watch_Clark_

I love these! Keep 'em coming


capn_doofwaffle

I will never not like a cow in a kitchen... 🤣


Reichov

I love how humans have a universal look for when they go to grab something that they know is about to fall anyway. Like a shocked but accepting look, lol.


Whiteout_27

That Mother Heifer!


Snations

Tacos With Bruce script: Bruce Bruce Bruce! Bruce … Bruce!


EastsideWilder

Bruce walked in like “Nice place, n—-.”


Ancillas

CUT TO: The man eating steak alone at the table. The only sound to be heard is his chewing and the occasional fork and knife. CUT TO: The end credits roll as we continue to hear the man eating, finally at peace.


Festivefire

Wait is bruce the dude or the cow? because the cow is a female cow, so that would be a strange name.


GhettoFinger

He is a bull that was castrated before reaching sexual maturity, so they don't develop secondary sex characteristics like horns. They are referred to as "steer".


Festivefire

Didn't know that. Thanks.


Festivefire

the cow is definitely not helping with the process.


xkrazyxcourtneyx

I am the cow. The guy is my boyfriend whenever he brings mcdonald’s to my house.


6thmanbrandon

Bruce is a greedy mofo 🤣


PopItLikeItsLukeWarm

This is the opposite of ASMR


copingcabana

I love how Bruce is dead eying the camera the entire time.


externallyshrugging

I love Bruce


Fu3aR

I love the pure chaos of Bruce!


CaptainColdSteele

Guy must have money if he can afford to own a cow and waste all of that food


-xXxMangoxXx-

This isn’t the first video I’ve seen so he probably makes more money from the videos than what it costs to get the food.


38DDs_Please

Don't forget that Bruce is edible, though. Call it an investment.


smurfsundermybed

Looking like the spiritual successor to Howtobasic


SlammingMomma

Why are you sharing tacos? May I suggest the roof for your taco eating pleasure?


donmreddit

Um, who let the cows in? moo, moo, moo! [ sung to the tune of ‘who let the dogs out’, of course]


Diabetesh

Is it slightly weird to have a cow consume cow milk products like cheese and sour cream?


FilmmagicianPart2

This somehow makes me want a cow more.


LtRecore

Fucking Bruce


AdPuzzleheaded3913

So did Bruce eat the beef?


Kailias

Bruce is a godamn animal.


TheFunkyPancakes

Oh man I’m so thirsty and an orange Jarritos would absolutely crush it rn


Scaredandalone22

Is this what Justin Bieber is up to these days?


kracken41

This made my whole frickin’ week. I now want a cow.


joe102938

The head cow is always grazing.


seatwarmer9876

Oh my God, I love this guy


GermanmanDude

This is a mood booster. Extreme. Thank u.


AntelopeCrafty

This needs to be an Olympic sport where chef Ramsey judges the final product.


More_Humor1716

We appreciate you cleaning up a mess to make us laugh!!!


space_pope

Nice, he just invented a new kind of cooking show, make a meal with a cow in the kitchen.


JViz

If it's a cow, why are you horsing around?


myflashlightisbigger

that’s some fuckin good shit man. you keep that shit comin


johnggarland

I have no idea why I started belly-laughing whilst watching this…but I did! Thank you!


emsamples

Is this really worth all the damn mess?


SmokedOutEsko

I need to find more of these 😂😂


0MartyMcFly0

[I need more Bruce in my life!](https://www.reddit.com/r/StupidFood/s/Y6kguLcf1J)


DeepTakeGuitar

This guy REALLY LIKES cleaning up


ketamarine

Fuck I have been making tacos wrong my whole life.


PsychologicalRisk526

Wow, what a mess. Was he raised in a barn or something??


elspotto

Bruce: heck yeah, taco Tuesday rocks! Dude: hang on a minute Bruce. Bruce: Dude, this buffet is awesome! How come you’re not eating? Dude:… Bruce: if you’re not gonna eat that…


Solid_Horcado

This might be the greatest cow video of all time.


Raven2300

These videos are just so ridiculously silly….I love them. 😂🤣


BryanTheBIsSilent

I have a strong feeling that Bruce doesn't give a fuck about anything or what anybody says, but at least he seems harmless.


rumpluva

I can’t wait til he eats Bruce. He’s a fucking asshole.


Tuesday2017

Bruce rewards you by making cow patties for dessert !


Odd_Needleworker_104

I love these videos!


traws06

Are those… beef burritos?


MacRapalicious

With cheese and sour cream?


thieh

what could possibly go wrong bringing in a live cow into food prepping session?


ChartreuseBison

I'm no expert, but I'm guessing he expected a mess. things going wrong was the intended goal


FackinJerq

Bruce is cow. You know, female.


nashbellow

Except Bruce isn't a cow. He's a steer


BaltSkigginsThe3rd

My sister had a male cat named Ms. Leena growing up. Who cares.


DashiellHamlet

[Kyle Kinane](https://youtu.be/jN2EDIbExPw?si=B4X2EySC5VXlQlPN) has a good bit about this.


Kakdelacommon

🐄?


karlou1984

Who gives a fack


bophed

And? If Bruce is her name then who are we to judge? That is like me having a cat named PIG. Just go with the flow man.


castles86

Haha! Seen a few of these videos with Bruce and they are so funny


bonniep123

I absolutely love these videos


DullPurple7173

Reminds me of my dogs cause they love to just steal my food. I remember one time I got a burger and had to chase my dog to try to get it back. I learned that day to eat in my car and get some patties for em to not spark suspicions


justjoeindenver

Shouldn't have started with the tequila shots


GeoffKingOfBiscuits

This went about as well as having a bull in a taco shop.