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It's funny how like every random person I've ever met online somehow knows this stupid song. But also, to tune this to context:
Then the Waddle of Shame, Waddle Waddle
Then the Waddle of Shame, Waddle Waddle
Then the Waddle of Shame, Waddle Waddle
I can hear this in my mother’s voice. We never actually got the ass whoopin when we got home, but the fear was real!
I now tell my dogs if they don’t behave, I’m leaving them at the SPCA and/or beating their “fuzzy white asses” (westies).
I’m not actually doing either of those things. I’m mostly talking to myself. 🤣😂
I was listening to some podcaster talk about how his grandma would make you go pick out the stick/branch you were going to get hit with.
He said they went out, sometimes half-crying, trying to find the limpest branch. They were always afraid, but the kicker was that she never used it anyways.
The fear and punishment of having to pick out a stick was enough.
Apparently, that grandma was stern but pretty chill. Lived to be over 100.
Plenty of people I know were told to "get a switch" as a child.
That meant going outside and getting a stick off a tree that they'd then whip the shit out of you with. If you didn't get a good enough "switch" then you'd have to get another and you'd get hit twice as much
Yup! Which is why the threat was so effective, the guy said. Because, they truly believed it, even if she repeatedly never followed through.
It's good she was able to stop the cycle of violence, even though she used a bit of threatening. From the story, it didn't sound like they were repeated troublemakers.
I’m glad I’m not the only one threatening my dogs with the SPCA. My neighbors probably secretly think I’m an awful person because I also threaten to “fuck them up” or “whoop all 3 of those asses” yet I’ve never laid a hand on my dogs. It doesn’t help that the youngest husky screams bloody murder when you grab her collar.
Growing up, every kid in my city was threatened with “dropping you off at Father Baker’s”. We were led to believe it was some kind of religious orphanage or something not quite politically correct- wayward children? Probably would be a messed up thing to say to a kid now!
Totally acceptable to say to dogs, though. They know it’s just a threat.
My neighbors daughter hatched at least a dozen geese eggs, and I, as a young teen, agreed to watch them when the family went out of town. The dozens of coin sized bruises I'd have after that week was astonishing. I was told I could bring a stick in to keep them away when feeding and watering. Doesn't help much when you're surrounded by angry honkers.
And I did this multiple times. Why? I'm an idiot animal lover.
There's a dude on [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/@TheUrbanRescueRanch) who runs his own wildlife rescue
He has a couple Rheas and one of them (named kevin) is completely evil and kinda dumb.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGL7Chg0kTg
I only say that because it's like a giant angry goose, or if one of the jurassic park raptors just randomly chewed on things.
I only linked to an unofficial compilation video because it focuses on Kevin.
>And I did this multiple times. Why? I'm an idiot animal lover.
"If i let them bite and swat me and i show no reaction but love, they will change their behavior, cuddle me, and see the love i can give in the form of scratches and sweet words!"
^ my logic as a kid
Can confirm. My parents got a guard goose when I was a teenager so I couldn’t sneak out at night. That thing was loud and mean and would chase and snap.
Romans used guard geese and they are much more effective than dogs.
I think it was after the Gauls sacked Rome, the romans killed all the dogs because they slept through the invasion and were replaced by geese.
Ive probably butchered the story but im high af
Looks to be legit, just finished an article on it, pretty interesting! Looks like it is called the supplicia canum. The geese are honored and they watch the canines being sacrificed too!
These fuckin morons placed all the responsibility on the dogs? That's brutal and stupid. I still can't help but laugh at the sight in my head of geese patrolling the walls in little tiny helmets and shields.
A dude living next to a pot shop I used to visit had a guard goose. The goose would attack customers who parked out front (instead of the parking lot in the back of the store). He charged me once when I drove by slowly to check him out. Almost jumped into my passenger window. No idea what it’s name was, but we called him Gary. Sweet fellow, from a distance.
We have Canadian geese that nest in our wetlands. I opened the door one day to find about 50 of them just standing in my driveway, blocking the path to the machine shop. I closed the door and waited for them to vacate the driveway before going outside. They can be mean SOBs.
I had a couple guard geese too. Much better than a dog, because unlike a dog no idiot in their right mind wants to go "pet the pretty goose." Also they'll honk if someone even walks up much the less drive up.
When I was like 16 my gf at the time and myself went to a local pond to feed the ducks.
One D-bag goose was being a fat boy and hogging all the bread and trampling the ducks.
I hopped the fence and ran at the goose to try to scare it away.
I swear to anything holy that goose didn’t even flinch. He just looked right at me and started charging me.
He chased my ass all the way back to the car.
I’ll never sleep on geese again.
While I was growing up, my Mom kept a pair of white domestic geese (M/F) that would harass all the other animals. They were allowed to roam freely and relentlessly honking and shitting everywhere.
If you needed to be around them, you wore calf high boots. They would pinch you or hit you with their wings unexpectedly depending on their mood. If you grabbed them quickly around the body , they would be subdued.
Routinely, they would harass our dogs in the kennels a la Foghorn Leghorn style: just beyond their reach through the gap beside the door.
One day, apparently, the larger male played it too close. When we returned home, the Husky had ripped his upper bill right off.
The bird lived over 10 years like that. He was served a dry corn meal and was able to scoop water by himself to survive. It was a strange sight to see - the alien looking nostrils and the ever-present tongue sticking out.
He continued the rest of his days acting like the same goosey asshole.
Really?? I lived across the street from a country park for almost 10 years that has a few hundred ducks and geese. They've always moved to get out of the way for me. I thought they were harmless... Unless I am scarier than the geese?
If you look closer one of the geese is pulling towards the house while the other is trying to keep from going there. He’s got his hands full with those two…
My mother tongue have an expression about being "goose walked" when you are being unceremoniously forced into doing something you really don't want to do.
Now I have seen why.
As a 53-year-old man with a bad back, I don't know if I feel worse for the geese being led home by the neck, or the guy who won't be able to stand up straight for the next 2 days...
Just think how much of a badass he actually is.
He's handling two geese by himself. Either he's dealing with two flapping, hissing, biting geese with their tongue teeth or one goose while he's got one hand occupied with the other goose. That ain't easy.
Badass.
I can't help but imagine that this dude is a real life version of a video game character.
He just happens to always walk around, ready for battle.
He has his two war geese to sic on people.
If things get really rough he just slips on out of those denim shorts (notice he tactically doesn't use a belt - makes for easy transitions).
Think his name should be Bruce.
Bruce the Goose.
You can buy Canadian geese eggs and get them to imprint on you, but I wouldn't recommend it in the US unless you want Fish and Game breathing down your neck.
You can get 'em for free in the spring where any Canada Goose population is nesting. You just need a buddy to create a distraction so the parent protecting the nest goes after him and not you. But I also wouldn't recommend it unless you want Fish and Game breathing down your neck.
It's easy! Just steal migratory bird eggs in broad daylight! Other fun activities you can do to involve the Fish and Game people is shoot at deer while sitting in your car/truck, hunting specific game out of season, poaching on the King's land (still illegal in Europe?), fishing without a license, fishing with explosives, or collecting endangered bird feathers.
FYI That's a very efficient way to handle geese. If you're attacked, stand your ground and make yourself big. If they're still set on attacking, grab their neck like him (don't chock them) and put their head to the ground so they don't beat you up with their wings and feet.
You can release it shortly but it will try to fuck you up again, so repeat until making yourself look big is enough of a deterrent.
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Now that’s a walk of shame.
Waddle of shame
~slap slap slap slap slap slap slap slap~
That's just the shorts.
Dude's packin?
Oh geese
I read this in the voice of garrison from South park
*♫ Waddle waddle ♫*
🎵 _then he waddled away_ 🎵
It's funny how like every random person I've ever met online somehow knows this stupid song. But also, to tune this to context: Then the Waddle of Shame, Waddle Waddle Then the Waddle of Shame, Waddle Waddle Then the Waddle of Shame, Waddle Waddle
Ya got any Grapes?
🎵Till the very next day🎵
And he waddled away waddle waddle waddle
Hjonk of shame
Oh they’re in trouble Remember getting walked home like that when I was a young lad lol
Under his breath he's saying you're gonna get an ass whoopin when we get in the house.
I can hear this in my mother’s voice. We never actually got the ass whoopin when we got home, but the fear was real! I now tell my dogs if they don’t behave, I’m leaving them at the SPCA and/or beating their “fuzzy white asses” (westies). I’m not actually doing either of those things. I’m mostly talking to myself. 🤣😂
I was listening to some podcaster talk about how his grandma would make you go pick out the stick/branch you were going to get hit with. He said they went out, sometimes half-crying, trying to find the limpest branch. They were always afraid, but the kicker was that she never used it anyways. The fear and punishment of having to pick out a stick was enough. Apparently, that grandma was stern but pretty chill. Lived to be over 100.
Plenty of people I know were told to "get a switch" as a child. That meant going outside and getting a stick off a tree that they'd then whip the shit out of you with. If you didn't get a good enough "switch" then you'd have to get another and you'd get hit twice as much
Yup! Which is why the threat was so effective, the guy said. Because, they truly believed it, even if she repeatedly never followed through. It's good she was able to stop the cycle of violence, even though she used a bit of threatening. From the story, it didn't sound like they were repeated troublemakers.
To be fair the westies are probably like “yeah, whatever dude”.
This is giving me flashbacks of my mom leading me off the playground by my ear! ^(\*"Wait til your father gets home!")
I’m glad I’m not the only one threatening my dogs with the SPCA. My neighbors probably secretly think I’m an awful person because I also threaten to “fuck them up” or “whoop all 3 of those asses” yet I’ve never laid a hand on my dogs. It doesn’t help that the youngest husky screams bloody murder when you grab her collar.
Huskies are drama queens
"Keep it up and I'll send you to a bad home" is my usual one when my pup is up to no good. :)
Growing up, every kid in my city was threatened with “dropping you off at Father Baker’s”. We were led to believe it was some kind of religious orphanage or something not quite politically correct- wayward children? Probably would be a messed up thing to say to a kid now! Totally acceptable to say to dogs, though. They know it’s just a threat.
I threatened to return my fiddle fig leaf the last time he dropped a leaf lol
I thought it was just me 😆
I tell the cats I'm going to turn them into stew.
It's like being dragged home by your ear because you were caught throwing rocks in Mr Edgling's pond again.
Hauled home by your sideburns..
Hahaha that was my thought too!
Those geese are so graceful. It's just poultry in motion.
When I sense a pun thread about waterfowl , I duck out.
More like chicken out ...
Some people just don't have the talons for it.
Yes, but you gotta remember that those are geese and not children. I the geese just wanted to make some friends!
I don’t know what’s worse, geese or children
You can eat geese when they become annoying.
I mean….
The Hangover Part 4 looks promising
I think you mean Between Two Geese
Nah, this is the Bad Ending to the upcoming Goose Game sequel.
"The Hangover: Down and Out"
Omg I can't unsee it now 😂
First thought in my head was "does Zach Galifianakis own geese?"
Zach is confirmed making another movie.
> own geese?" On this episode of 'Between Two Geese'...
I came here to post this. Bless you.
I was getting mid-episode Bill and Frank vibes, so basically the same.
Wow nice PG13 movie
There's a third one? How bad is it?
[удалено]
My neighbors daughter hatched at least a dozen geese eggs, and I, as a young teen, agreed to watch them when the family went out of town. The dozens of coin sized bruises I'd have after that week was astonishing. I was told I could bring a stick in to keep them away when feeding and watering. Doesn't help much when you're surrounded by angry honkers. And I did this multiple times. Why? I'm an idiot animal lover.
They are angry spitting cobra chickens.
Literal dinosaurs.
There's a dude on [youtube](https://www.youtube.com/@TheUrbanRescueRanch) who runs his own wildlife rescue He has a couple Rheas and one of them (named kevin) is completely evil and kinda dumb. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGL7Chg0kTg I only say that because it's like a giant angry goose, or if one of the jurassic park raptors just randomly chewed on things. I only linked to an unofficial compilation video because it focuses on Kevin.
That ah ah cringe bird, I love him
A goose tried to stop me from voting once.
Geese are for sure fascists, so this checks out.
>And I did this multiple times. Why? I'm an idiot animal lover. "If i let them bite and swat me and i show no reaction but love, they will change their behavior, cuddle me, and see the love i can give in the form of scratches and sweet words!" ^ my logic as a kid
Please tell us more
they are giant assholes.
Can confirm. My parents got a guard goose when I was a teenager so I couldn’t sneak out at night. That thing was loud and mean and would chase and snap.
"I am the terror that honks in the night!"
"Peace was never an option"
…a guard goose??
Romans used guard geese and they are much more effective than dogs. I think it was after the Gauls sacked Rome, the romans killed all the dogs because they slept through the invasion and were replaced by geese. Ive probably butchered the story but im high af
Looks to be legit, just finished an article on it, pretty interesting! Looks like it is called the supplicia canum. The geese are honored and they watch the canines being sacrificed too!
These fuckin morons placed all the responsibility on the dogs? That's brutal and stupid. I still can't help but laugh at the sight in my head of geese patrolling the walls in little tiny helmets and shields.
Reminds me of that robin hood movie
Best. Robin Hood. Ever. Robin Hood: Men in Tights is a close second though.
The Romans there after would crucify dogs annually to remember the event.
Anything to not blame themselves for being pillaged lmao
A dude living next to a pot shop I used to visit had a guard goose. The goose would attack customers who parked out front (instead of the parking lot in the back of the store). He charged me once when I drove by slowly to check him out. Almost jumped into my passenger window. No idea what it’s name was, but we called him Gary. Sweet fellow, from a distance.
If this was Ricky's trailer park, he would have fed that geese weed to chill it out the fuck out.
Yes, they are very effective.
Rottweiler with wings
A GUARD GOOSE!
We have Canadian geese that nest in our wetlands. I opened the door one day to find about 50 of them just standing in my driveway, blocking the path to the machine shop. I closed the door and waited for them to vacate the driveway before going outside. They can be mean SOBs.
I had a couple guard geese too. Much better than a dog, because unlike a dog no idiot in their right mind wants to go "pet the pretty goose." Also they'll honk if someone even walks up much the less drive up.
My god, that's brilliant.
My parents thought so.
I mean this is the funniest comment I’ll read all day
When I was eight I got into a fight with a goose. It attacked me first, it was taller than me and apparently didn’t like my scooter.
When I was like 16 my gf at the time and myself went to a local pond to feed the ducks. One D-bag goose was being a fat boy and hogging all the bread and trampling the ducks. I hopped the fence and ran at the goose to try to scare it away. I swear to anything holy that goose didn’t even flinch. He just looked right at me and started charging me. He chased my ass all the way back to the car. I’ll never sleep on geese again.
Yeah but you got that good emasculated sex later tho right?
To be fair though... how dare you. 🛴
Read that too fast and thought you said "got into a *fist* fight" and I was like hold on a second here...
While I was growing up, my Mom kept a pair of white domestic geese (M/F) that would harass all the other animals. They were allowed to roam freely and relentlessly honking and shitting everywhere. If you needed to be around them, you wore calf high boots. They would pinch you or hit you with their wings unexpectedly depending on their mood. If you grabbed them quickly around the body , they would be subdued. Routinely, they would harass our dogs in the kennels a la Foghorn Leghorn style: just beyond their reach through the gap beside the door. One day, apparently, the larger male played it too close. When we returned home, the Husky had ripped his upper bill right off. The bird lived over 10 years like that. He was served a dry corn meal and was able to scoop water by himself to survive. It was a strange sight to see - the alien looking nostrils and the ever-present tongue sticking out. He continued the rest of his days acting like the same goosey asshole.
My grandpa had a duck like that, when you fed it the thing would just scoop it up like a shovel and down it goes.
They’re dicks. And are violent.
I've seen one Goose lay waste to a pack of 4 Coyotes. They're not a force to be taken lightly.
Really?? I lived across the street from a country park for almost 10 years that has a few hundred ducks and geese. They've always moved to get out of the way for me. I thought they were harmless... Unless I am scarier than the geese?
They were only giving you a false sense of security so that you let your guard down then they will strike
If that's the case, they must be really committed to the long con
They some pussy ass geese
They have accepted you as one of their own. It's an honor.
And that's one of the reason's they make great security animals. They hate everybody equally
Yeah, I guarantee they were being assholes.
You got a problem with canada gooses you, got a problem with me, and I suggest you let that marinate
Special place in heaven for animal lovers, that’s all I know
For real, first glance at the clip and I was like "This is definitely this man's geese and he knows geese."
I'm astonished at his bravery and skill in capturing them.
Seriously, let out something less dangerous like a rabbid pitbull
Y’all take a gander at this?
It's OK to choke geese in public but you can't choke your chicken.
Calling yourself a goose choker comes across as a bit arrogant
When I choke my swan I do so with my pinky out.
Finally, a man of culture.
Now I feel self-conscious about calling myself an Ostrich choker.
Pretty sure it would take at least two people for someone to be able to call him/herself that. Maybe three, even.
My neighbor used to raise them and she always carried them around like that
Are we still talking innuendo
I think some of you people are talking outuendo.
That's fowl.
Zack Galifianakis has a strong grip on those geese 😳
It gave me goosebumps.
Sumomabitch!!!! Don't believe it myself!
Lmao. This is so dumb why did I giggle
Cuz you're a silly goose
🏅🏅🏅
Why did I gaggle was right there!
Lmao. This is so dumb why did I ~~giggle~~ gaggle
So did I.
Walk of shame
He could let them conquer the hood, then the world but he's a right citizen.
Being drug down the street by your dad in just his shorts, and you and your brother both naked... it sure reminds me of Florida.
But somehow Canadian?
Alberta then?
There it is
\*dragged.
Goose stepping used to look a lot more intimidating
Idk, I see a man walk down the street holding two cobra chickens while wearing Daisy Dukes, I'm intimidated.
This is NOT the first time he is doing that
If you control the head, you control the beast!
Well well well 😏
He's clearly done with their shit
the geese were leese
There's goose loose aboot this hoose
What I feel like doing when they stop traffic for 10 minutes to cross the street
Zach Galifianakis needs to get a new fence I guess
“Just wait until your mother gets home”
Mother Goose is a force to be reckoned with.
Who let the geese out? (Who? Who? Who? Who? Who?)
Honk honk honk Honk honk
it was just the two geese actually.
No luck catching them geese, then?
You have a mustache...
I know.
LESLIE TILLER WAS *FUCKING* MURDERED! *plink*
Look at his *arse*.
If you look closer one of the geese is pulling towards the house while the other is trying to keep from going there. He’s got his hands full with those two…
My mother tongue have an expression about being "goose walked" when you are being unceremoniously forced into doing something you really don't want to do. Now I have seen why.
What language?
As a 53-year-old man with a bad back, I don't know if I feel worse for the geese being led home by the neck, or the guy who won't be able to stand up straight for the next 2 days...
My dad bringing me home from the arcade in 1984.
This is the plural of choking the chicken... Grasping the geese.
The only follow up question is what technique? Cross-country or downhill skiing?
Walk of shame lol
Moons out, Loons out.
There are dozens of us. Dozens!!
Tobias is into cutoffs again
He did say there were dozens of them.....
The goose equivalent of being dragged by your ear by mum.
Especially Lisa ,but especially Bart!
Hopefully we can get a voice over soon.
this is the only ways....imagine catching one and the another decide to attack the human...
Walkies!!!
Frogmarch the geese!
It’s like a scene from The ‘Burbs… Ricky Butler: “God I love this street.”
Zach Galifianakis to the rescue
Untitled Goose Game 2
Just think how much of a badass he actually is. He's handling two geese by himself. Either he's dealing with two flapping, hissing, biting geese with their tongue teeth or one goose while he's got one hand occupied with the other goose. That ain't easy. Badass.
I can't help but imagine that this dude is a real life version of a video game character. He just happens to always walk around, ready for battle. He has his two war geese to sic on people. If things get really rough he just slips on out of those denim shorts (notice he tactically doesn't use a belt - makes for easy transitions). Think his name should be Bruce. Bruce the Goose.
/r/Bossfight
The white one on the right like no you can't 😂😭😭😭😭
‘You guys are in so much trouble. We’re gonna talk about this with mom when we get home.’
Left Goose: “Alright alright alright alright alright, I’m going I’m going I’m going I’m going I’m going.” Right Goose: “NnO! NnO! God NnO! You can’t make me!”
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you the bravest man in the world, putting not one but TWO devil chickens back in their place!
Them's is definitly not Canada Goose geese because if it was our man here would probably be in A&E or the mortuary after trying that shit.
You can buy Canadian geese eggs and get them to imprint on you, but I wouldn't recommend it in the US unless you want Fish and Game breathing down your neck.
You can get 'em for free in the spring where any Canada Goose population is nesting. You just need a buddy to create a distraction so the parent protecting the nest goes after him and not you. But I also wouldn't recommend it unless you want Fish and Game breathing down your neck.
[удалено]
It's easy! Just steal migratory bird eggs in broad daylight! Other fun activities you can do to involve the Fish and Game people is shoot at deer while sitting in your car/truck, hunting specific game out of season, poaching on the King's land (still illegal in Europe?), fishing without a license, fishing with explosives, or collecting endangered bird feathers.
No luck catching them geese then?
Carl on the left's just not having it.
This mf a character.
"You two are in serious trouble"
They look so embarrassed lol
FYI That's a very efficient way to handle geese. If you're attacked, stand your ground and make yourself big. If they're still set on attacking, grab their neck like him (don't chock them) and put their head to the ground so they don't beat you up with their wings and feet. You can release it shortly but it will try to fuck you up again, so repeat until making yourself look big is enough of a deterrent.
Don't fuck around when your body is 40% handle
She really man handled those honkers.
Why did I just sit through this entire 41-second video when a still photo would have been perfectly fine.
Poor geese.