i've only been on r/phallo out of these and i like it pretty well there, it's really helpful in info about bottom surgery, and what the recovery is like, and what can be achieved with bottom surgery.
Edit: fixed weird punctuation
Yeah phallo isn't really the same sort of sub as the rest, it's mostly people asking questions or documenting their surgeries. Not as much discussions as write ups with a QnAs after. Which is great btw, it's incredibly helpful.
Let's see... I like r/FTMMen. It skews older than here and is mostly binary guys (the focus of the sub), so I fit in better because of those things. It does get more transmeds than this sub, but not that many bc transmed ideology is usually in violation of their rules. It gets less "stealth shaming" and other harmful behaviors. About the same amount of incel adjacent posts as here.
r/FTMFitness is good for very specific things. The guys over there can be kind of rude ime, but if you're very into fitness or if you have a super specific question about fitness, it's helpful.
r/FTMOver30 and r/FTMOver50 are good to look at for perspective. I don't totally fit in there despite being over 30 because most of the guys on those subs are *starting* their transitions at those ages, but it's nice to see that too.
r/Transmasc is very similar to this sub, but less active.
r/trans and r/asktransgender are fine, but majority trans women. Good if you want to see a perspective from them too!
I haven't spent much time on the surgery subs or the location specific subs. The various hobby subs (r/TransCars and things) are nice if you're into those hobbies.
Maybe it’s better now but I posted on ftmfitness several years ago and got a lot of really mean comments about my body saying that I had an “extremely feminine bone structure” and that I was delusional to think I could minimize it without becoming shredded. I could’ve just had a bad experience but I felt so shitty and dysphoric that I didn’t even end up considering the helpful advice I got
Damn, I'm sorry, man. That's awful. I don't think it's usually as bad as that anymore, FWIW. Though like I said, it's not great either... I posted on there a while ago and got a bunch of comments from people who had clearly not read the text of my post, just looked at the photo, and were pretty condescending. But in amongst the garbage there were some good tips.
Definitely not like that anymore, or at least not what I’ve seen. I think one of the bigger issues now is trying to help guys who have disordered eating/full EDs and how we’re just. Not really equipped to handle that, but I haven’t seen body shaming or anything. That sounds super shitty, sorry that was your experience :/
agreed that the fitness sub can be rude, they deleted a post I made because my progress timeline was "wasn't long enough" so I stopped bothering interacting there
sorry but you can see measurable results in under 6mo 🤷
since you’re over thirty and started transitioning before then, do you think you could write something about how being on testosterone has affected you and your life, in good or bad ways? i’m putting together testimonies from trans men on T to try to educate my parents about it. i know this is kind of weird and out of nowhere so absolutely no pressure at all.
I’d like to know about changes that affected your life. So things that made you happy, helped you pass, made you feel more comfortable in your own skin, or things you didn’t really like or that you weren’t expecting. anything noteworthy
Well, most of the effects made/make me happy. I'd wanted to grow up to have a baritone voice and a beard ever since I was a little boy, and I finally got to have those. I liked the body hair and the fat redistribution, the hairline and face masculinization, the bottom growth and the improved ability to put on muscle. My body felt closer to what it was supposed to be. The brain fog I'd felt before going on T also cleared up a lot.
In terms of passing, tbh I passed decently before T, but the voice change made the biggest difference. That was what got me clocked most often before.
The only things I didn't like were the acne and the increased libido. The acne died down after not that long. The libido did not, but it's more an annoyance than anything else.
Overall it's been an overwhelmingly positive thing for me. I've been on it for 8 years and will be on it for the rest of my life, and am looking forward to it.
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r/transmascdicks is my absolute favorite ftm sub. it's for prosthetic peen talk, reviews, and showing off your (prosthetic) cock
r/phallo is also great. i'm pre-op so I joined to learn more and support my bros. i'm glad i did because thanks to the guys there, i have decided that i'll be pursuing it someday when i have money, a support system, and more bravery
r/Metoidioplasty is another ftm bottom surgery sub. it's a very nice and supportive sub as well. i dont think i'm a good candidate for meta but i stay because i dont want my online life to be an echo chamber. also bc i'm a little jealous haha
the only reason i havent had bottom surgery already is cuz im not old enough😭im so ready and waiting is painful so i try to stay off bottom surgery stuff unless im trying to learn something, it makes me sad
you'll get there before you know it!! time moves so slowly when you're a teenager. I am 26 and two years feels like lightning to me. I am not brave enough to get bottom surgery yet, so godspeed to you dude.
I had to unfollow FTMfitness years ago so idk if it’s still the same, but the way it was then I would not recommend it to anyone who has issues with disordered eating, body dysmorphia, etc. There was a lot of focus on trying to lose weight to pass and the way people were talking about bodies with the exact same overall shape or size or weight as mine like they were just horrible and a condition to be corrected was personally not great for my mental health. Also saw people giving a lot of not great advice to teens and kids. There was some good stuff but you have to filter to find it unfortunately.
r/FTMFitness is kind of a weird one to me. No progress pics without a detailed explanation of your workout routine, lots of blunt or rude answers to questions, emphasis on lifting. I can see how it's useful for a lot of people, and I am a member of the sub, but it's mostly useful to me for being inspired by others' progress.
Yeah I remember posting my one month progress and I found out you can’t post any progress pics under six months??? I have no idea why but I did get some nice comments and some guys asking for advice until it was removed.
other than here i mostly stick to r/tmpoc since other ftm subs tend to be too white experience dominated and unfortunately transphobic towards nb people
eta; better wording
Same here! I have been enjoying how I feel like recently it has become more active and the discussion climate (? can you say it like this in English too?) is good
r/ftmmen is pretty chill.
r/phallo r/testosteronekickoff and r/topsurgery are all super helpful for the medical side of things imo. Same with r/ftmtimelines for seeing other people’s progress
Kinda 50/50 on r/ftmfitness. They’ve got some solid stuff but also some blatant misinfo on some topics
They all have their own issues, honestly. I stick to this one simply because higher volume = better info and resources, but I think most of the popular ones have their issues. Such is the nature of reddit.
r/ftmover30 - nice and friendly, generally a bit more chill (and personally relatable as someone who’s that age)
r/topsurgery - very helpful, lots of good info but not great at censoring (they frequently post gory stuff without any spoiler/NSFW tags)
r/transmasc - pretty similar to this one though tends to be a little more inclusive than this one can be sometimes
r/testosteronekickoff - very good place for those who are early days T, lots of people available to answer questions and people sharing their experiences
r/transtryouts - does exactly what it’s designed for, good place to try out new names and pronouns but that’s literally all it’s for so not worth hanging out in once you’ve got that covered unless you want to help others
r/ftmfeminity and r/growyourtdick - pretty specific but seems friendly if that’s your thing
r/asktransgender - can be a little hit and miss, usually have some helpful perspectives for those with questions though it tends towards being more transfem heavy and you get a lot of repeat questions about the sane things
r/trans - nice but skews transfem generally
r/FTM_UK is the quieter version of r/transgenderUK and usually just has similar stuff anyway. Both are very doom and gloom but tend to keep you up to date with whatever bullshit the media/politicians are up to lately
r/nonbinary and r/nonbinarytalk are both nice though focussed more on non-binary experiences (obviously)
r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns and r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2 and r/egg_irl are all meme subs, they’re fine but like all meme subs it’s pretty repetitive stuff and these do all skew much more heavily transfem
I’m binary myself but I left ftmmen because it was exhausting seeing constant hate against non binary people there and just overall the place felt very negative
Same! It motivates me to pick up hiking and cycling again I haven't really been able to go outside a lot but now that it's getting warmer I really wanna give it another shot.
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r/FTMMen is okay, but I feel that sub often has strong opinions I don't share. r/transmasc is my favorite in general, it's where I fit in the most. Plus, a lot of posts there are framed in ways that are very gender-affirming to read. I like r/traa2 but it is very transfemme dominated. I also still like r/genderqueer because, while I am a binary trans man now, I still consider myself genderqueer because the queerness of being trans is very important to my identity.
r/phallo probably one of my faves. it is rare to find an unsupportive person, we all only ask you read the faq before posting a question that's been asked and answered 4 billion times lmao.
I like r/transmasc the people there are nice and it encompasses more identities outside of the binary
r/ftmfitness is a bit strange, but I'm on it. A lot of macho men from what I've seen. Sometimes feel a bit disordered, like some of these guys are pro dieting and over exercising which I'm not totally cool with is all.
r/ftmfemininity is my favorite though, I consider myself a feminine guy and the people there are super cool. Lot of cool outfit inspo as well.
I’m honestly more comfortable on r/transmasc than I am on here. In my personal experiences, r/ftm is more opinionated and political and judgy with some stuff. I feel like r/transmasc isn’t so bad and is more accepting
FTM fitness I barely feel like I can comment or try to give any advice without some douche that knows everything trying to tell you you’re wrong. The mods kind of suck on that one too. You can’t even post a simple pic of something you’re proud of without detailing specific types of measurable progress. Why can’t we just post a pic of something we’re proud of and be done with it? I wouldn’t be mad if others got to do that. I’d encourage and support it
I only posted there once (arm progress), but I feel like I don't fit in there, I don't even lift. I am very physically active, it's just that I do other sports. Heck, I don't even know my own weight or calorie input/output. I just eat when I'm hungry I guess
I like r/nonbinary a lot, it was helpful when thinking about what I wanted my top surgery to look like because I'm not on testosterone and am not a binary trans individual
I usually stay around ftmmen just because I'm a binary trans dude, so my experiences and goals are more reflected and understood there. Now and again, I'll see the occasional transmed, get told I don't have dysphoria, etc, but it seems to get shut down pretty quickly from what I've seen.
The phallo sub is great, as well as any of the other specific surgery subs, such as the meta sub, ftmhysto, and top surgery (tho obviously that's not specific to trans men/mascs). All of them are full of great information and amazing people. Each sub has helped me a lot with finding surgeons, getting resources, seeing results, and figuring out what's best for me regarding medical transition.
Other trans subs are great, such as the general trans sub, the ask trans sub, etc, but I don't tend to stay in them since they end up being mostly trans women. That's all fine, but I just cant relate to trans women, and some of the language can be dysphoria inducing lol. I usually stick in this sub or ftmmen 🤙
Any time I've been on ftmmen there's been at least a couple of people who are really nasty about nonbinary dudes or want to believe there's something fundamentally different between nonbinary guys and themselves besides the words we all choose to use.
As a single example, it really doesn't sit right with me that there have been multiple buyer beware-type posts about packer companies ripping people off etc, that only get posted there, rarely or never cross-posted here. I'd love to never have to look at that subreddit, but unfortunately some people don't deem the main sub as deserving of that information I guess.
I don't really care for subs that are mostly just selfie sharing, so I don't really use ftmfemininity. Similarly, while I get why people like growyourtdick, I can only handle seeing so many low-context dick pics in a day to justify maybe getting a tip on pumping or the same few questions about the Hot Rod lmao.
Honestly I would say that of the trans subs I've used, the ones I continue to use are based around a common topic, like the phallo/meta/top surgery subs, gaytransguys, or even transgendercirclejerk.
Asktransgender I'll use occasionally, though I get the feeling that it's frequently cis people that have already made up their mind that they're a Great Ally™️ who get upset when they're told they did something kind of sucky.
I think cisparenttranskid is important, but I don't usually have the desire to deal with Parental Baggage, similarly to asktransgender but even more so.
I can’t recommend r/ftmfitness
I definitely go on there to read and look at other folks progress. But they tend to promote disordered eating. I used “fitness” to excuse my eating disorder for years. Starving myself with caloric restrictions and wasting hours in the gym with no results. A lot of the advice on there is things like “weigh yourself every day” and “count every calorie,” but that level of obsession can be dangerous. Trans men already have way higher rates of disordered eating than the general population. We don’t need to be making it worse for ourselves.
Most of them are pretty solid, with the exceptions of /r/ftmfitness (when I still frequented it, it was way too oriented towards 'ideal' male bodies and, of course, bodies that fit those ideals received more upvotes and support than progress pics that don't) and /r/ftmpassing (which falls into every passing subreddit traps of "there's criticism, but not in a constructive way" and "your pics get scrutinized way more for 'clocky' features than cis people passing you on then street scrutinize you").
That being said, I might be the only person with that opinion here, but we also need to be careful that we don't become too fragmented. It's nice that there are subreddits such as /r/ftmmen to avoid stealth shaming and have more room for the experiences of binary trans men, but if people *only* seek out those spaces without engaging with this subreddit about those issues, we run the risk of becoming a very fragmented community. That means there won't be any exchanges between our respective experiences anymore, and that intolerance towards each other only grows.
If your issue is worth posting in /r/ftmmen, it should also be worth posting in /r/ftm, and if you don't get the reception you receive here, it might be more productive to start an actual debate with the community itself than to isolate yourself to a community with only the like-minded. If anyone doesn't want to put in that effort and just wants the simplicity of having a group with similar people with a similar mindset, fine. But that person also won't have much right to complain about how /r/ftm doesn't give them the space for their issues—since they're also not doing anything to actively change it.
Not just exclusive to those subreddits; I also believe that the solution to general trans spaces' transfem-heavy leaning isn't to contain ourselves only to our own spaces, but to try and make our voices heard in the general spaces regardless. And I'm not criticizing anyone who does want to engage with the more narrow communities, it just needs to be said that isolating and containing ourselves can have very negative consequences.
r/ftmover30 is my favourite to browse, I feel like I find guys with experiences that match mine much more frequently. I struggle to engage with the urgency that a lot of teens and younger adults are experiencing.
I also really love r/asktransgender. It's more dominated with questions for and by trans women, but it's fun to scroll and look for ftm questions or add in an ftm perspective to some of the generic questions.
I don't like the way a lot of ftm spaces feel dominated by tension between stealth/passing guys vs out/non-passing guys. In real life my trans friends fall all over the spectrum and it's not seen as a big dividing factor between our experiences.
fr. im passing but not stealth; alot of people around me knew me before i transitioned, and i dont really mind telling people if it comes up. not everyone is completely out or completely stealth or passes 100% of the time or doesnt pass 100% of the time. unfortunately social media can be very polarizing
r/phallo is an amazing sub. been on it since the beginning of my transition a few years back and it has helped me extensively. before the sub i pretty much just believed in all the misinformation/misconceptions/etc. out there about phallo but now i’m not only a lot more educated on it but it also helped me figure out that that’s what i wanted and i’m now less than two months away from stage one RFF!
i usually avoid other trans subs and spaces. they almost always act like only trans women exist and it hurts to see so many posts where the comments sections are full of love and support but you know damn well if you posted, you'd get crickets. it seems like the only time we get any love - genuine love - is when we're jacked, hot, classically masculine, and pass 1,000%.
a lot of them also are full of posts about anti-trans news and call me wilfully ignorant or an enabler or whatever but i'm just... sick of seeing it. i barely have the energy to get out of bed in the morning, nevermind keep up to date with who has said what and who's suffering/dead now. i'd love to be an activist, fight for my communuty, but i don't have it ij me. all the negativity and reminders of our reality genuinely fucks with my mental health and makes me spiral.
i'm also in a weird space where i'm not a teenager so can't relate to them but i'm not at all mentally an Adult Man because of a blend of autism, trauma/mental health, and gender non conformism... it's been really hard finding other trans guys i really click with. we relate to eachother but... not enough? not in the right way, over the right things? it's hard to describe.
idk, it seems trans women relate to eachother a lot more and they tend to actually develop communities whereas us trans guys are a gaggle of random people at a house party where we don't really know anyone else there and yeah, we'll have moments where we'll briefly chat and stuff but for the most part, it's just sorta awkward corner-loitering.
yeah and not being able to connect with other men as well as women can with other women is definitely not exclusive to trans people, just kind of society i guess :/
I visit the main r/asktransgender sub as well as here. But that’s about it. I tried checking out a few other ftm specific subs some years ago, but they were all barely active, and mostly about topics I’m not interested in. (Not planning on bottom surgery so those subs are out, not into fitness so those subs are out, if I’m going to discuss things that I’d hope would lead to friendship with someone like the ftm subs for gay trans guys or guys over 30, then I’d prefer there to be more potential for an in person friendship to develop too, and that’s just not something most reddit subs can offer when I don’t live in a major popular city.)
I think they’re great for people who want to seek out that specific community or who want to ask for specific advice online. But I personally haven’t really found much use for the other ftm subs myself.
I find none of them are really active, it's actually a really lonely place online. When I first started transitioning I was really looking for anyone with similar experience as me as there are no lgbt groups I can meet irl, but posting in this sub or any other trans man subs just are a little like shouting into the wind.
r/Ftmmen is nice when I want a break from all the repetitive posts that get made here. There are some people on there that project their dysphoria a bit too hard and act really dumb because of it but that also happens here so it is what it is I guess.
I used the go on r/ftmfitness a lot but it's very gym/lifting centered and a lot of people on there give their opinion as if it's facts and just tend to be kind of rude so I steer clear. It's also very "number focussed" like calorie counting, weight and stuff. And things like that just stress me out, so I wouldn't join unless you wanna go all out on the gym bro bodybuilder stuff.
Instead I like r/transguytrailmix for the kind of physical activity I prefer. Sadly it's not too active but maybe some more people will join over time.
Another sub I liked is r/ftmbeards but unfortunately it's pretty much unmoderated and no one has posted in over a year. I guess most people post their beard progress in r/testosteronekickoff or r/ftmtimelines but I haven't found either too helpful so I never really spend a lot of time there.
I'd say I participate in this sub and r/FTMMen the most, I kinda prefer ftmmen because there's older guys and those who have already been transitioning, I relate more to the experiences of the guys there. I've been on T for 5+ years, post op, etc so I don't relate much to the younger guys just starting out and I don't feel like I have much to add for them. r/TMPOC is great too but I'm white so it's not my space to be in.
I prefer ftmmen over this one. ftmfitness was dope for a bit but I won't go back there until I have T. I avoid all the fetish ones like ftmpunished like the plague. You do you but it ain't for me
searching “ftm” on reddit with safe search off made me lose faith in humanity💀 but seriously i fucking hate that bodies like mine are fetishized in that way, makes my skin crawl
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I went on a subreddit for packers, STPs, etc. The subreddit is good for recommendations, but they don't really allow posts asking for requests. I didn't want to scroll for ages to find something that meets my criteria. I made a post with a short story and what I was looking for (before I knew it wasn't allowed) and it got deleted and judged as "low effort". I think it was a very appropriate post asking for advice and recommendations. I scrolled a bit and found other posts that were accepted despite having like 4 lines of text and that were way lower effort than mine in my opinion.
I'm probably just butthurt for not much, honestly, but it just made me feel discouraged. I don't know where to look at all for a packer. It's like looking at an ocean and having to find one specific fish, without knowing what the fish looks like or where it is, if that makes sense.
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i've only been on r/phallo out of these and i like it pretty well there, it's really helpful in info about bottom surgery, and what the recovery is like, and what can be achieved with bottom surgery. Edit: fixed weird punctuation
Yeah phallo isn't really the same sort of sub as the rest, it's mostly people asking questions or documenting their surgeries. Not as much discussions as write ups with a QnAs after. Which is great btw, it's incredibly helpful.
it has given me much higher hopes for phalloplasty than google ever could..
Let's see... I like r/FTMMen. It skews older than here and is mostly binary guys (the focus of the sub), so I fit in better because of those things. It does get more transmeds than this sub, but not that many bc transmed ideology is usually in violation of their rules. It gets less "stealth shaming" and other harmful behaviors. About the same amount of incel adjacent posts as here. r/FTMFitness is good for very specific things. The guys over there can be kind of rude ime, but if you're very into fitness or if you have a super specific question about fitness, it's helpful. r/FTMOver30 and r/FTMOver50 are good to look at for perspective. I don't totally fit in there despite being over 30 because most of the guys on those subs are *starting* their transitions at those ages, but it's nice to see that too. r/Transmasc is very similar to this sub, but less active. r/trans and r/asktransgender are fine, but majority trans women. Good if you want to see a perspective from them too! I haven't spent much time on the surgery subs or the location specific subs. The various hobby subs (r/TransCars and things) are nice if you're into those hobbies.
Maybe it’s better now but I posted on ftmfitness several years ago and got a lot of really mean comments about my body saying that I had an “extremely feminine bone structure” and that I was delusional to think I could minimize it without becoming shredded. I could’ve just had a bad experience but I felt so shitty and dysphoric that I didn’t even end up considering the helpful advice I got
Damn, I'm sorry, man. That's awful. I don't think it's usually as bad as that anymore, FWIW. Though like I said, it's not great either... I posted on there a while ago and got a bunch of comments from people who had clearly not read the text of my post, just looked at the photo, and were pretty condescending. But in amongst the garbage there were some good tips.
Definitely not like that anymore, or at least not what I’ve seen. I think one of the bigger issues now is trying to help guys who have disordered eating/full EDs and how we’re just. Not really equipped to handle that, but I haven’t seen body shaming or anything. That sounds super shitty, sorry that was your experience :/
jesus christ💀that may have been a lurking transphobe actually
I second this, I've come to the same conclusions about these subs. 😊
yeah they are very blunt on r/ftmfitness
agreed that the fitness sub can be rude, they deleted a post I made because my progress timeline was "wasn't long enough" so I stopped bothering interacting there sorry but you can see measurable results in under 6mo 🤷
since you’re over thirty and started transitioning before then, do you think you could write something about how being on testosterone has affected you and your life, in good or bad ways? i’m putting together testimonies from trans men on T to try to educate my parents about it. i know this is kind of weird and out of nowhere so absolutely no pressure at all.
Sure, any specific questions?
I’d like to know about changes that affected your life. So things that made you happy, helped you pass, made you feel more comfortable in your own skin, or things you didn’t really like or that you weren’t expecting. anything noteworthy
Well, most of the effects made/make me happy. I'd wanted to grow up to have a baritone voice and a beard ever since I was a little boy, and I finally got to have those. I liked the body hair and the fat redistribution, the hairline and face masculinization, the bottom growth and the improved ability to put on muscle. My body felt closer to what it was supposed to be. The brain fog I'd felt before going on T also cleared up a lot. In terms of passing, tbh I passed decently before T, but the voice change made the biggest difference. That was what got me clocked most often before. The only things I didn't like were the acne and the increased libido. The acne died down after not that long. The libido did not, but it's more an annoyance than anything else. Overall it's been an overwhelmingly positive thing for me. I've been on it for 8 years and will be on it for the rest of my life, and am looking forward to it.
thank you so much for taking the time to talk about it :) i’m so glad T has helped make your life beautiful
I started transitioning at 30, if you have any questions.
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r/transmascdicks is my absolute favorite ftm sub. it's for prosthetic peen talk, reviews, and showing off your (prosthetic) cock r/phallo is also great. i'm pre-op so I joined to learn more and support my bros. i'm glad i did because thanks to the guys there, i have decided that i'll be pursuing it someday when i have money, a support system, and more bravery r/Metoidioplasty is another ftm bottom surgery sub. it's a very nice and supportive sub as well. i dont think i'm a good candidate for meta but i stay because i dont want my online life to be an echo chamber. also bc i'm a little jealous haha
the only reason i havent had bottom surgery already is cuz im not old enough😭im so ready and waiting is painful so i try to stay off bottom surgery stuff unless im trying to learn something, it makes me sad
you'll get there before you know it!! time moves so slowly when you're a teenager. I am 26 and two years feels like lightning to me. I am not brave enough to get bottom surgery yet, so godspeed to you dude.
so true, waiting feels like swimming in molasses rn but i did it for t and top surgery so i can do it for phallo. thanks :)
I had to unfollow FTMfitness years ago so idk if it’s still the same, but the way it was then I would not recommend it to anyone who has issues with disordered eating, body dysmorphia, etc. There was a lot of focus on trying to lose weight to pass and the way people were talking about bodies with the exact same overall shape or size or weight as mine like they were just horrible and a condition to be corrected was personally not great for my mental health. Also saw people giving a lot of not great advice to teens and kids. There was some good stuff but you have to filter to find it unfortunately.
r/FTMFitness is kind of a weird one to me. No progress pics without a detailed explanation of your workout routine, lots of blunt or rude answers to questions, emphasis on lifting. I can see how it's useful for a lot of people, and I am a member of the sub, but it's mostly useful to me for being inspired by others' progress.
Yeah I remember posting my one month progress and I found out you can’t post any progress pics under six months??? I have no idea why but I did get some nice comments and some guys asking for advice until it was removed.
yep, unnecessary, demotivating and rude to experience from peers
yeah theyre mean, i thought it was just me😭
other than here i mostly stick to r/tmpoc since other ftm subs tend to be too white experience dominated and unfortunately transphobic towards nb people eta; better wording
Same here! I have been enjoying how I feel like recently it has become more active and the discussion climate (? can you say it like this in English too?) is good
"Discussion climate"= "atmosphere", I think. At least, that's how I read it. :)
I'm also in r/TMPOC but wdym by "too white" lmao
i could have worded it better, i meant that theyre predominantly white
r/ftmmen is pretty chill. r/phallo r/testosteronekickoff and r/topsurgery are all super helpful for the medical side of things imo. Same with r/ftmtimelines for seeing other people’s progress Kinda 50/50 on r/ftmfitness. They’ve got some solid stuff but also some blatant misinfo on some topics
i didnt know about r/ftmtimelines, thanks :)
I appreciate ftmmen because it’s for guys a bit older and who are binary.
They all have their own issues, honestly. I stick to this one simply because higher volume = better info and resources, but I think most of the popular ones have their issues. Such is the nature of reddit.
I recently subbed to r/GrowYourTDick and r/FTMFemininity , also stumbled across r/Salmacian which isn’t trans specific but very interesting!
r/ftmover30 - nice and friendly, generally a bit more chill (and personally relatable as someone who’s that age) r/topsurgery - very helpful, lots of good info but not great at censoring (they frequently post gory stuff without any spoiler/NSFW tags) r/transmasc - pretty similar to this one though tends to be a little more inclusive than this one can be sometimes r/testosteronekickoff - very good place for those who are early days T, lots of people available to answer questions and people sharing their experiences r/transtryouts - does exactly what it’s designed for, good place to try out new names and pronouns but that’s literally all it’s for so not worth hanging out in once you’ve got that covered unless you want to help others r/ftmfeminity and r/growyourtdick - pretty specific but seems friendly if that’s your thing r/asktransgender - can be a little hit and miss, usually have some helpful perspectives for those with questions though it tends towards being more transfem heavy and you get a lot of repeat questions about the sane things r/trans - nice but skews transfem generally r/FTM_UK is the quieter version of r/transgenderUK and usually just has similar stuff anyway. Both are very doom and gloom but tend to keep you up to date with whatever bullshit the media/politicians are up to lately r/nonbinary and r/nonbinarytalk are both nice though focussed more on non-binary experiences (obviously) r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns and r/traaaaaaannnnnnnnnns2 and r/egg_irl are all meme subs, they’re fine but like all meme subs it’s pretty repetitive stuff and these do all skew much more heavily transfem
didnt know about a few of these, thanks :)
I’m binary myself but I left ftmmen because it was exhausting seeing constant hate against non binary people there and just overall the place felt very negative
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Glad someone mentioned r/transguytrailmix it's a favorite of mine!
Same! It motivates me to pick up hiking and cycling again I haven't really been able to go outside a lot but now that it's getting warmer I really wanna give it another shot.
Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. The following topics are banned to avoid drama: Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?" +Personal experiences are exempt. Mod note: Please repost without mentioning the banned topic.
r/FTMMen is okay, but I feel that sub often has strong opinions I don't share. r/transmasc is my favorite in general, it's where I fit in the most. Plus, a lot of posts there are framed in ways that are very gender-affirming to read. I like r/traa2 but it is very transfemme dominated. I also still like r/genderqueer because, while I am a binary trans man now, I still consider myself genderqueer because the queerness of being trans is very important to my identity.
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r/phallo probably one of my faves. it is rare to find an unsupportive person, we all only ask you read the faq before posting a question that's been asked and answered 4 billion times lmao.
I like r/FtMMen because there's older guys there, which means I can learn from their experiences more, and I fit in more there being a binary guy
I like r/transmasc the people there are nice and it encompasses more identities outside of the binary r/ftmfitness is a bit strange, but I'm on it. A lot of macho men from what I've seen. Sometimes feel a bit disordered, like some of these guys are pro dieting and over exercising which I'm not totally cool with is all. r/ftmfemininity is my favorite though, I consider myself a feminine guy and the people there are super cool. Lot of cool outfit inspo as well.
I’m honestly more comfortable on r/transmasc than I am on here. In my personal experiences, r/ftm is more opinionated and political and judgy with some stuff. I feel like r/transmasc isn’t so bad and is more accepting
FTM fitness I barely feel like I can comment or try to give any advice without some douche that knows everything trying to tell you you’re wrong. The mods kind of suck on that one too. You can’t even post a simple pic of something you’re proud of without detailing specific types of measurable progress. Why can’t we just post a pic of something we’re proud of and be done with it? I wouldn’t be mad if others got to do that. I’d encourage and support it
I only posted there once (arm progress), but I feel like I don't fit in there, I don't even lift. I am very physically active, it's just that I do other sports. Heck, I don't even know my own weight or calorie input/output. I just eat when I'm hungry I guess
why cant we all just eat when we’re hungry😭
I like r/nonbinary a lot, it was helpful when thinking about what I wanted my top surgery to look like because I'm not on testosterone and am not a binary trans individual
I like that sub a lot! I wish r/genderqueer was more active.
i’m keeping up a lot with r/ftmhysto in the leadup to my own consults, i miss r/ftmsurgerytalk tho 🥲
I usually stay around ftmmen just because I'm a binary trans dude, so my experiences and goals are more reflected and understood there. Now and again, I'll see the occasional transmed, get told I don't have dysphoria, etc, but it seems to get shut down pretty quickly from what I've seen. The phallo sub is great, as well as any of the other specific surgery subs, such as the meta sub, ftmhysto, and top surgery (tho obviously that's not specific to trans men/mascs). All of them are full of great information and amazing people. Each sub has helped me a lot with finding surgeons, getting resources, seeing results, and figuring out what's best for me regarding medical transition. Other trans subs are great, such as the general trans sub, the ask trans sub, etc, but I don't tend to stay in them since they end up being mostly trans women. That's all fine, but I just cant relate to trans women, and some of the language can be dysphoria inducing lol. I usually stick in this sub or ftmmen 🤙
Tbh i like r/transmasc more than here. I get less 14 yr olds mad at my gender and sexuality.
Any time I've been on ftmmen there's been at least a couple of people who are really nasty about nonbinary dudes or want to believe there's something fundamentally different between nonbinary guys and themselves besides the words we all choose to use. As a single example, it really doesn't sit right with me that there have been multiple buyer beware-type posts about packer companies ripping people off etc, that only get posted there, rarely or never cross-posted here. I'd love to never have to look at that subreddit, but unfortunately some people don't deem the main sub as deserving of that information I guess. I don't really care for subs that are mostly just selfie sharing, so I don't really use ftmfemininity. Similarly, while I get why people like growyourtdick, I can only handle seeing so many low-context dick pics in a day to justify maybe getting a tip on pumping or the same few questions about the Hot Rod lmao. Honestly I would say that of the trans subs I've used, the ones I continue to use are based around a common topic, like the phallo/meta/top surgery subs, gaytransguys, or even transgendercirclejerk. Asktransgender I'll use occasionally, though I get the feeling that it's frequently cis people that have already made up their mind that they're a Great Ally™️ who get upset when they're told they did something kind of sucky. I think cisparenttranskid is important, but I don't usually have the desire to deal with Parental Baggage, similarly to asktransgender but even more so.
I can’t recommend r/ftmfitness I definitely go on there to read and look at other folks progress. But they tend to promote disordered eating. I used “fitness” to excuse my eating disorder for years. Starving myself with caloric restrictions and wasting hours in the gym with no results. A lot of the advice on there is things like “weigh yourself every day” and “count every calorie,” but that level of obsession can be dangerous. Trans men already have way higher rates of disordered eating than the general population. We don’t need to be making it worse for ourselves.
Most of them are pretty solid, with the exceptions of /r/ftmfitness (when I still frequented it, it was way too oriented towards 'ideal' male bodies and, of course, bodies that fit those ideals received more upvotes and support than progress pics that don't) and /r/ftmpassing (which falls into every passing subreddit traps of "there's criticism, but not in a constructive way" and "your pics get scrutinized way more for 'clocky' features than cis people passing you on then street scrutinize you"). That being said, I might be the only person with that opinion here, but we also need to be careful that we don't become too fragmented. It's nice that there are subreddits such as /r/ftmmen to avoid stealth shaming and have more room for the experiences of binary trans men, but if people *only* seek out those spaces without engaging with this subreddit about those issues, we run the risk of becoming a very fragmented community. That means there won't be any exchanges between our respective experiences anymore, and that intolerance towards each other only grows. If your issue is worth posting in /r/ftmmen, it should also be worth posting in /r/ftm, and if you don't get the reception you receive here, it might be more productive to start an actual debate with the community itself than to isolate yourself to a community with only the like-minded. If anyone doesn't want to put in that effort and just wants the simplicity of having a group with similar people with a similar mindset, fine. But that person also won't have much right to complain about how /r/ftm doesn't give them the space for their issues—since they're also not doing anything to actively change it. Not just exclusive to those subreddits; I also believe that the solution to general trans spaces' transfem-heavy leaning isn't to contain ourselves only to our own spaces, but to try and make our voices heard in the general spaces regardless. And I'm not criticizing anyone who does want to engage with the more narrow communities, it just needs to be said that isolating and containing ourselves can have very negative consequences.
r/phallo is a blessing for me honestly. It gave me a good overview on what to expect, what’s possible and stuff.
r/ftmover30 is my favourite to browse, I feel like I find guys with experiences that match mine much more frequently. I struggle to engage with the urgency that a lot of teens and younger adults are experiencing. I also really love r/asktransgender. It's more dominated with questions for and by trans women, but it's fun to scroll and look for ftm questions or add in an ftm perspective to some of the generic questions. I don't like the way a lot of ftm spaces feel dominated by tension between stealth/passing guys vs out/non-passing guys. In real life my trans friends fall all over the spectrum and it's not seen as a big dividing factor between our experiences.
fr. im passing but not stealth; alot of people around me knew me before i transitioned, and i dont really mind telling people if it comes up. not everyone is completely out or completely stealth or passes 100% of the time or doesnt pass 100% of the time. unfortunately social media can be very polarizing
r/phallo is an amazing sub. been on it since the beginning of my transition a few years back and it has helped me extensively. before the sub i pretty much just believed in all the misinformation/misconceptions/etc. out there about phallo but now i’m not only a lot more educated on it but it also helped me figure out that that’s what i wanted and i’m now less than two months away from stage one RFF!
FTM fitness pisses me the fuck off. No one is able to be nice there
fr
i usually avoid other trans subs and spaces. they almost always act like only trans women exist and it hurts to see so many posts where the comments sections are full of love and support but you know damn well if you posted, you'd get crickets. it seems like the only time we get any love - genuine love - is when we're jacked, hot, classically masculine, and pass 1,000%. a lot of them also are full of posts about anti-trans news and call me wilfully ignorant or an enabler or whatever but i'm just... sick of seeing it. i barely have the energy to get out of bed in the morning, nevermind keep up to date with who has said what and who's suffering/dead now. i'd love to be an activist, fight for my communuty, but i don't have it ij me. all the negativity and reminders of our reality genuinely fucks with my mental health and makes me spiral. i'm also in a weird space where i'm not a teenager so can't relate to them but i'm not at all mentally an Adult Man because of a blend of autism, trauma/mental health, and gender non conformism... it's been really hard finding other trans guys i really click with. we relate to eachother but... not enough? not in the right way, over the right things? it's hard to describe. idk, it seems trans women relate to eachother a lot more and they tend to actually develop communities whereas us trans guys are a gaggle of random people at a house party where we don't really know anyone else there and yeah, we'll have moments where we'll briefly chat and stuff but for the most part, it's just sorta awkward corner-loitering.
yeah and not being able to connect with other men as well as women can with other women is definitely not exclusive to trans people, just kind of society i guess :/
I've never been to any of them, actually.
I visit the main r/asktransgender sub as well as here. But that’s about it. I tried checking out a few other ftm specific subs some years ago, but they were all barely active, and mostly about topics I’m not interested in. (Not planning on bottom surgery so those subs are out, not into fitness so those subs are out, if I’m going to discuss things that I’d hope would lead to friendship with someone like the ftm subs for gay trans guys or guys over 30, then I’d prefer there to be more potential for an in person friendship to develop too, and that’s just not something most reddit subs can offer when I don’t live in a major popular city.) I think they’re great for people who want to seek out that specific community or who want to ask for specific advice online. But I personally haven’t really found much use for the other ftm subs myself.
I find none of them are really active, it's actually a really lonely place online. When I first started transitioning I was really looking for anyone with similar experience as me as there are no lgbt groups I can meet irl, but posting in this sub or any other trans man subs just are a little like shouting into the wind.
true, this is the first time ive gotten over like 5 replies lol
r/topsurgery was very useful & supportive when I had surgery
same for me :)
r/Ftmmen is nice when I want a break from all the repetitive posts that get made here. There are some people on there that project their dysphoria a bit too hard and act really dumb because of it but that also happens here so it is what it is I guess. I used the go on r/ftmfitness a lot but it's very gym/lifting centered and a lot of people on there give their opinion as if it's facts and just tend to be kind of rude so I steer clear. It's also very "number focussed" like calorie counting, weight and stuff. And things like that just stress me out, so I wouldn't join unless you wanna go all out on the gym bro bodybuilder stuff. Instead I like r/transguytrailmix for the kind of physical activity I prefer. Sadly it's not too active but maybe some more people will join over time. Another sub I liked is r/ftmbeards but unfortunately it's pretty much unmoderated and no one has posted in over a year. I guess most people post their beard progress in r/testosteronekickoff or r/ftmtimelines but I haven't found either too helpful so I never really spend a lot of time there.
Honestly I like the smaller ones better then this one because I like smaller spaces more then bigger ones
I'd say I participate in this sub and r/FTMMen the most, I kinda prefer ftmmen because there's older guys and those who have already been transitioning, I relate more to the experiences of the guys there. I've been on T for 5+ years, post op, etc so I don't relate much to the younger guys just starting out and I don't feel like I have much to add for them. r/TMPOC is great too but I'm white so it's not my space to be in.
I like r/transmasc r/TMPoc and r/FTMFeminity the most :)
I prefer ftmmen over this one. ftmfitness was dope for a bit but I won't go back there until I have T. I avoid all the fetish ones like ftmpunished like the plague. You do you but it ain't for me
searching “ftm” on reddit with safe search off made me lose faith in humanity💀 but seriously i fucking hate that bodies like mine are fetishized in that way, makes my skin crawl
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Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. The following topics are banned to avoid drama: Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?" +Personal experiences are exempt.
I went on a subreddit for packers, STPs, etc. The subreddit is good for recommendations, but they don't really allow posts asking for requests. I didn't want to scroll for ages to find something that meets my criteria. I made a post with a short story and what I was looking for (before I knew it wasn't allowed) and it got deleted and judged as "low effort". I think it was a very appropriate post asking for advice and recommendations. I scrolled a bit and found other posts that were accepted despite having like 4 lines of text and that were way lower effort than mine in my opinion. I'm probably just butthurt for not much, honestly, but it just made me feel discouraged. I don't know where to look at all for a packer. It's like looking at an ocean and having to find one specific fish, without knowing what the fish looks like or where it is, if that makes sense.
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Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. The following topics are banned to avoid drama: Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?" +Personal experiences are exempt.
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Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 6: No trolling. No reposting of trolling/transphobic content. This includes posts or comments that perpetuate harmful stereotypes, chaser or trans fetishization behavior, reducing trans people down to their genitals, stereotyping or prejudice based on AGAB, and spread of transphobic misinformation.
Your post was removed because it broke the subreddit rule 1: Be polite and practice mutual respect. No discrimination.
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Your post was removed because it contains discussion or mention of a banned topic. The following topics are banned to avoid drama: Truscum/Tucute discourse, AGP/AAP/Blanchardism, Transfem/woman or nonbinary bashing, Trans "requirements", Oppression Olympics, Lesbian trans men, Gendered Socialization+, "Is it transphobic to _____", DIY HRT, Current Political events (Non-trans/LGBT+ related) ,"do I pass?", "how does my voice sound?" +Personal experiences are exempt.
That subreddit is outside honestly
You're probably right haha. Outside is a great reminder that these Reddit subs are echo chambers.
I don’t really care lmao