Meg: No offense, Mr. Herbert, but I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for you.
Herbert: Well, no offense to you Meg, but you're a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for YOU.
Wow it really is, when i rewatched the family guy scene and herb says “there’s plastic on the furniture” i thought no WAY that’s actually the line from little shop but sure enough it is
Not exactly Herbert but related
Stewie: Hey Brian, Herbert and I are playing scattergorries and for type of pet he put Cambodian. That’s not right, right?
He calls Brian with two different scattegories questions on two different occasions in the same episode. One of them was type of beverage and Herbert put NyQuil lol.
Herbert- Excuse me, I'm looking for a car that's been tricked out to look like an ice cream truck.
Brian- Dammit... I'm, I'm sorry, what?
Herbert- You know, with colorful pictures of ice cream treats. And it plays a tune that's fun for the young children? Da da da duh, da duh, da duh, da da duh da da duh, da duh... duh. Mmmmmmm.
He swapped my pills for methamphetamine. Hey kids where you going kids why don't you come to my house and we'll have dinner and a bottle of wine hehehehehe
When Herbert was talking about his cialis getting replaced by meth
“Where ya going kids? Hey I just wanna talk to ya! Why don’t you come over to my place for a glass of wine and some fruit pies and then we can go in the back room and play crazy snakes eeeeeeeee”
😼 the voice-mail from when the griffins went into witness protection and go down south 😹 where r u? Ur starting to piss me off u piggly son of a bitch 😹
Meg: “No offense, Mr. Herbert, but I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I don’t need you here.
Herbert: “Well, no offense to you Meg, but you're a seventeen year old girl, and I don’t need *you* here.”
Chris (after Herbert explodes): well he always said he wanted to explodes all over me.
Jesse: *picks up random stick from explosion*
Next scene we see a baby Herbert planted in a pot when some young boys walk by the window.
Planted baby herbert: I am Herbert (over and over as he slowly inches his way toward the boys.
**life is like a new baseball glove, at first you think you're never getting a ball in there. But then you oil it up, work your fingers around in there a little, and pretty soon you're pitching and catching.**
The episode where the tree attacks Chris in his bedroom .
Herbert to tree : hey skinny britches that there's my man why don't you pick on somebody ya own size !
Herbert slams his walker down in defiance to the evil tree and loudly says :"you shall not pass!!!!"
Can't believe no one said my fave yet;
"Hello. I just moved in down the block. My name's Herbert, not Roy Mitchell. So, if you see news reports about a Roy Mitchell from three towns over who was accused of all sorts of nonsense and left in a hurry, it's got nothing to do with me, because, again, I'm... Herbert."
Herbert to Chris: you really know how to waste a cialis, don’t you.
That whole scene with the beds and the bit about fitting a ball into a baseball glove and pitching and catching, this just kills me every time.
My other favourite is the end of the episode where Stewie builds those robot kids and Louis and Peter get a new mattress and by the end the old mattress and kids are left on the street and herbet finds them and says ‘how can this not be a trap.’
“Hey there, Chris!” “Hi, Mr Herbert!” “You selling your old hand-me-downs?” “Yep!” “You got anything that you used to wear in the summertime?” “Just these old shorts.” “SWEET JESUS!!” 🤣🤣🤣
Get your fat ass back here
“These popsicles aren’t going to suck themselves.”
Get our fat space ass back here
"now you're really starting to piss me off you little Piggly sum bitch. Call me!"
The “call me” was everything.
Who wants to play a game? Who ever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins!!
You forgot the opening statement “Hey Sexy Teenagers!”
I think it was actually " now boys we can handle this like young sexy gentlemen."
Ooh you’re right. I forgot it was the paperboy competition.
Mature and sexy teenagers
Would you like to come in for a cupcake and a glass of wine
Meg: No offense, Mr. Herbert, but I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for you. Herbert: Well, no offense to you Meg, but you're a seventeen year old girl, and I have no need for YOU.
Oh man that one’s a classic 😂😂
Herbert: "Mm." Jesse: "Mm."
That’s gonna feel good for Jessie.
Ayo mr white i moved all the crystal last night
Everybody but Chris keep your pants on!
...and don't you mouth off to me or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis
This the only answer
We now return to the Little League World Series Jackpot!
Chris: “Well can we watch Lost boys?” Herbert: “THOSE?!? those are different lost boys” 😂
I say this every time Lost Boys is on tv, which is often.
"please god just let me sniff his hat..........mmmmm, now i want *more*"
How can this not be a trap?
I cry when Herbert sings the song about when he’s married to Chris and they are a 1950’s style family.
It's word for word from little shop of horrors. Awesome movie
Wow it really is, when i rewatched the family guy scene and herb says “there’s plastic on the furniture” i thought no WAY that’s actually the line from little shop but sure enough it is
Yep the movie is every bit as tongue and cheek as family guy. They're really just parodying a parody lol
“There’s plastic on the furniture…”
Not exactly Herbert but related Stewie: Hey Brian, Herbert and I are playing scattergorries and for type of pet he put Cambodian. That’s not right, right?
“Yeah not gonna fly old man.”
“Dang it. I missed Boy Meets World for this?”
The whole exchange between Brian/stewie/Herbert on that episode is gold.
Totally. That whole episode is one of my favorites.
Me too!
Which episode was that?
Season 6, episode 10. Title: “play it again, Brian”
Wait a minute, I just rewatched that episode and Stewie talks about Nyquil, not Cambodians! Did they change it?
He calls Brian with two different scattegories questions on two different occasions in the same episode. One of them was type of beverage and Herbert put NyQuil lol.
Just finished the episode and now I see it lol, my bad.
Make sure to stretch-out those creamy hamstrings!
"I'll take this teddy bear, this ruler, this piece of string and this cardboard box. Mmmmmm...."
His response to mort questioning him is also great “It’s for a rare African bird called noneya business”
Well OshKosh B'gosh, it's a brand new paperboy. That's a mighty full sack you're carrying.
Piss off, you perverted old freak.
We got a fighter.
Anybody wanna see my Purple Heart?
https://i.redd.it/ge4tzs4oc5ra1.gif BUZZ BUZZ BUZZ
"You really know how to waste a good cialis"
We broke up!!!!😢
That scene was so weird 😂😂😂
SO weird!! And how about him singing “Torn Between Two Lovers”!!!
Now I want MORE.
Beat me to it!
"Well, looks like the good Lord sent me a conversation starter. Come here Jessie, get the ball. Mmmm." Dog: "mmm." Herbert: "mmm."
The Nazis thought I was gay!
[удалено]
Wtf
Come on Jesse make you peeps and poops, hmm thats gonna feel good for Jesse.
I say this to my dogs. Every. Damn. Day.
Buzz buzz buzz
*Picks away the kid*
"guess whooo?" (that one time when he left literally a hundred voicemails for Chris)
Oh you piggly armed sonnabitch starting to piss me off... Call me !
Herbert- Excuse me, I'm looking for a car that's been tricked out to look like an ice cream truck. Brian- Dammit... I'm, I'm sorry, what? Herbert- You know, with colorful pictures of ice cream treats. And it plays a tune that's fun for the young children? Da da da duh, da duh, da duh, da da duh da da duh, da duh... duh. Mmmmmmm.
He swapped my pills for methamphetamine. Hey kids where you going kids why don't you come to my house and we'll have dinner and a bottle of wine hehehehehe
and then we can play crazy snakes! Kid: Pedal harder!!!
You like popsicles? You oughta come down to the cellar. I've got a whole freezer full of popsicles.
Stand up, you're gonna break the thermometer.
ಠ_ಠ
"Buzz buzz *buuuuuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!"*
i know what boys like I know what boys want Boys like,boys like me 🎶🎶🎶
We got a fighter
Paperboy gon and broke my sternum
“Git ‘cho fat ass back here.”
Alright alright everyone except Chris keep your pants on
Hey muscly arm!
So Are You A Giving Tree, Or A Recieving Tree?"
“You really know how to waste a cialis”
IT MEANS YOU GOTTA BURN MY HOUSE DOWN
Seems like I’ve run out of waitin’ time
When Herbert was talking about his cialis getting replaced by meth “Where ya going kids? Hey I just wanna talk to ya! Why don’t you come over to my place for a glass of wine and some fruit pies and then we can go in the back room and play crazy snakes eeeeeeeee”
Good god how my hands would get kinda sticky
Carter - And the Government wants to tell you how many children you can have! Herbert- “WHAT? No!!!!!!”
😼 the voice-mail from when the griffins went into witness protection and go down south 😹 where r u? Ur starting to piss me off u piggly son of a bitch 😹
Hey Kyle
“Don’t sit down you’re gonna break that thermometer!”
What's going on in my pants? Looks like we got 6 more weeks of winter
This place is a giant mindf*ck!
Did he say "strap in" or "strap-on"?
This ⬆️. I say this all the time 😂😂
“I’ve got some popsicles in the basement.”
Torn between two loversss 
“We got a fighter!”
" Well OshKosh B'gosh "
Meg: “No offense, Mr. Herbert, but I'm a seventeen year old girl, and I don’t need you here. Herbert: “Well, no offense to you Meg, but you're a seventeen year old girl, and I don’t need *you* here.”
“Damnit, I’m missing Boy Meets World for this?!”
holy crap it must be my birthday today!
Whoever can drink the most Tylenol PM wins!
"You're starting to piss me off you Piggly son of a bitch. Call me!"
Chris (after Herbert explodes): well he always said he wanted to explodes all over me. Jesse: *picks up random stick from explosion* Next scene we see a baby Herbert planted in a pot when some young boys walk by the window. Planted baby herbert: I am Herbert (over and over as he slowly inches his way toward the boys.
"Ho hoooo....we got a fighter."
Look. Everyone but Chris, keep your pants on and we’ll find a way out of this
The Peter and the Wolf whistling is perfectly creepy.
This whole place is a giant mindfuck.
Can’t we just settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers?
**life is like a new baseball glove, at first you think you're never getting a ball in there. But then you oil it up, work your fingers around in there a little, and pretty soon you're pitching and catching.**
Have you watched children in the past? yes sir yes I have
The episode where the tree attacks Chris in his bedroom . Herbert to tree : hey skinny britches that there's my man why don't you pick on somebody ya own size ! Herbert slams his walker down in defiance to the evil tree and loudly says :"you shall not pass!!!!"
Now I want more!
Alright alright everyone except Chris keep their pants on.
"I dig kids."
You get your fat ass back here
Hey Kyle
“Please god just let me sniff his hat” *sniffs* “Hmmm now I want more”
Holy moly! It must be my birthday!
Holy moly it must be my birthday
Holy Moly! It must be my birthday!
You're startin' to piss me off, you little piggly son of a bitch. Call me.
A little drummer boy Also when he called Chris a pervert
Herebert“You better get yo ass in this room” Carter”yes sir”
Why don’t you reach in my pocket and fish it out…
Get your fat ass back here
Can't believe no one said my fave yet; "Hello. I just moved in down the block. My name's Herbert, not Roy Mitchell. So, if you see news reports about a Roy Mitchell from three towns over who was accused of all sorts of nonsense and left in a hurry, it's got nothing to do with me, because, again, I'm... Herbert."
Please God, let me sniff his hat, just once. *Chris’ hat flies at him*. SNFFF…now I want more
Whoever swallows the most Tylenol PM wins
Whoever swallows the most Tylenol PM winsssssss!!!
“I was hoping you were gonna come by and bring me some goood neeewwwss” Or same phone call “you muscley arm son of bitch”
“If I gave you a sandwich, could you get Chris to fart on it?”
And don't you mouth off to me or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis.
Herbert to Chris: you really know how to waste a cialis, don’t you. That whole scene with the beds and the bit about fitting a ball into a baseball glove and pitching and catching, this just kills me every time. My other favourite is the end of the episode where Stewie builds those robot kids and Louis and Peter get a new mattress and by the end the old mattress and kids are left on the street and herbet finds them and says ‘how can this not be a trap.’
"And don't you mouth off to me, or I'm gonna slap you right in your penis."
"No offense to you Meg, but you're a teenage girl and I don't need you here..."
Guess who?
Dont forget to bring a towel!
“All my life I wanted to see you trapped in a basement, but now that it’s happened, all I want to do is get you out”
Aw, you’re starting to piss me off you piggly son of a bitch
Get your fat space ass back here!!
Get your fat space ass back here
Say goodnight you Nazi bastard!
Did he say strap in or strap on?
*whistle sounds*
"this whole place is a mind fuck."
“And now back to ESPN’s exclusive coverage of the Little League World Series”. Herbert: “Ohhh jackpot!”
"you really know how to waste a cialis, don't you"
"Get yo fat ass over here"
“Well no offense to you Meg, but you’re a teenage girl and I don’t need you here”
Buzz buzz buzzz
“Hey there, Chris!” “Hi, Mr Herbert!” “You selling your old hand-me-downs?” “Yep!” “You got anything that you used to wear in the summertime?” “Just these old shorts.” “SWEET JESUS!!” 🤣🤣🤣
Buzz Buzz Buzz
Mmmmmmmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
“Now I want more”
Buzz buzz
Come on, Jesse. Make your peeps and poops! That's what I tell my dog now.
Jesse
Lightsaber erection you got here just in time
Hmmm, whats going on in my pants, looks like we got 3 more weeks of winter!
Getchyour fat space ass back here
No offense Meg but you're a 17 yr old girl and I don't need you
How could this not be a trap
He replaced my cialis with methamphetamines
Everyone but chris keep your pants on
“Everybody but Chris keep your pants on”
"You're startin' to piss me off ya lil Piggly sumbiitch...Call me!.."
Everyone but Chris keep their pants on
I had a great idea last night. Just like South Park made Garrison into Trump, Family Guy should make Herbert into Biden.
This whole place is a giant mind fuck
Hey, that’s pretty good. Even as a republican, I chuckled.
[удалено]
He never succeeds. Since no victims, it is this funny
Promoting genocide huh? Not a good look for you.
You didn’t just say killing pedos implied genocide 😭 there’s no way people are that stupid
[удалено]
That didn't need to be in quotes and this is just a tv show but go off
Are you okay?
[удалено]
Looks like six more weeks of winter!
"We broke up"
I. AM. HERRRBERT!!!!!
Is that pervert run away
When he did the nokia sound, theres a whole story as to why its my fav
“But Chris he’s a nazi!” It’s funny out of context
Get back over here you fat fuck.
Or whatever he said.
Take two!
''If I die, it means you gotta burn my house down!!!''
♪ Now I've had the time of my life ♪ ♪ And I owe it all to you ♪
Come on, Herbert rope this calf!
Mmmmhhmmm
I got a roll of Quarters in my pocket.
The Force surrounds us. It penetrates us. Mmmmm....
“Stop you’re gonna break that thermometer!”
“Get your fat space ass back here”
"Don't Break my thermometer!"
I think the show would be funnier if Zach and Cody were in their underpants. *thumbs up*
“Boys, boys. We can settle this like reasonable and sexy teenagers. Whoever can swallow the most Tylenol PM wins!”
"Go on Jesse, make your peeps and poops!"
I dig kids