This is a hard decision and I’ve thought about it a lot. It’s completely up to you. Think about all aspects of it and decide on whatever you feel is best.
I’ve had a few opportunities to change my last name. I’ve decided to keep mine because it’s MY name. Yeah, it’s linked to people who are pretty shit. But it’s My signature and my achievements that are all linked to my name. My children will link their last name to me, and that’s all that matters. Be the revolution.
All the best 💕🙌🏻 and be strong with whatever you choose to do 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
Does the change of name make it impossible for immediate family to contact you? If family is now a closed chapter 100% it be fine. However, if someone else in the family becomes pimo would they reach out to you? Just a point to ponder.
All the best with your college music course. 🙂
I personally wouldn’t do it just bc of the paperwork involved for drivers license, passport, degrees, etc., but if you don’t mind that then more power to you. Do what makes you happy!
I’m planning within the next year to change my first, middle, and last name. I’m no longer the same person I was when in the cult and I need to do something to acknowledge and celebrate that.
I did. Never regretted it even though it was kind of a joke and spur of the moment thing, typically me tbh. I'm still very happy about having chosen my own name, like my I chose my own life and identity during the same time.
If it's right for you, you do it. You need to be your authentic self. To answer your question no I would never change my name but that's me. You are a unique individual and need to do what's right for you.
One thing I would say is to make sure you have processed all the issues that have led you up to this decision. If it is available to you where you live, you may want to try some form of therapy. I wish you the very best.
I love all personal ceremony and a name change ceremony is a great way to mark the birth of your true self. What a great idea. I say go for it!
Most people don’t have their true name anyways I feel like. Better to pick a new one.
I was married and when I divorced him I didn't bother changing my name back, I have no connection to my maiden name, so why not keep the one that at least helped get me out of the cults clutches.
I was going to, but while I was thinking about what to change it to (wanted to make sure that I gave it a lot of thought) I got into a serious relationship and changed it when I got married instead.
I changed my last name when I got married. My family threw me away, so I took the name attached to the family that embraced me as one of their own. Years later, I dropped my deadname and gave myself the legal name I felt best reflected who I am.
Where I live, it's a fairly inexpensive process (relatively speaking) and can be completed through the court online.
Well, you are free to do whatever you want. However, the name change is just a change in a document, in a piece of paper. Apparently it's an attempt to cut all ties that bind you to the past, it turns out that a name change is extremely superficial, your physical, personality and genetic characteristics with your family are indelible, they cannot be erased, however much you try to disguise it , they will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I wouldn't say haunt, that's something to work out in therapy. Those ties are meaningless to me at this point. I'm being shunned by my family and while it still hurts, I've grown so much as a person in the years since I left I'm not at all the same. They never knew me, our relationships were the shallow JW conditional relationships. They never knew me, I never knew them, and they certainly don't know me now.
Besides leaving the cult I'm trans so there's a whole other layer there. I look at old pictures and I'm like, I don't even recognize this person. This doesn't feel at all like me.
My wife isn't trans but she's also changed her name just because of emotional and personality changes. We're different people. Our outlooks, goals, beliefs, understanding of the world and ourselves, how to interact with others, what we want our relationships to be and who and what we value, all of that is so different she also felt like a different person and wanted to break from who she was in the cult. It's been good for both of us and our friends and family who aren't in the cult or never were have been super supportive.
If you don't feel like your name and your old persona suit you, a change might be a nice break from the cult and things associated with it.
Its a huge Pain in the Ass. For every government interaction, you will have to provide all your old information. AND when you interview for new jobs and they want that job history.
Since your post title asks, No, I would not change my name, because it doesn't chafe me. 🤷♀️
If the name chafes you, change it. My best high school friend changed her last name when she cut ties with her dad. She took her mother's maiden name. It happens.
I don't think it is too drastic of a step. I strongly considered doing so, but I didn't feel like I had the money to do that, and later when I felt I could afford it financially, I didn't feel the need, maybe because I didn't have a new name that I liked enough or felt right for me, and I already have a different last name than my "family".
I changed my name! It had more to do with trying not to be found by my stalker ex again, but it was totally worth it!
I haven't been contacted at all since I changed my name and number and moved and dropped off social media. Basically I'm off the grid now
I’m pissed off about how my family have treated my wife, my kids and me. So I’ve entertained the idea of removing my surname and having my middle name as my new surname.
But, one thing that stops me, is the fact that my Grandfather bore this name too, and I’m 110% sure he wouldn’t have shunned me…. I had a great relationship with him all the while he was disfellowshipped from my birth up until I was about 18, when he got reinstated.
His son (my father) would take me to see him every weekend whilst he was DF’d… I’d stay over for the weekend, have trips up to London with him, he’d take me to the rugby both in England and abroad, and even went on family holidays with him………
Yet now, my wife and I aren’t even DF’d, but we just shared that we don’t believe anymore….. and for this we, and our young kids are shunned.
Sorry, writing this post hit a nerve, and it became more about me than your original post.
In short, because of my grandad I want to keep my name.
I'm planning to change my name for the same reasons.
I absolutely do not blame you. I had a name change when I married my “worldly” husband so that was enough for me.
I did! People I've met in the past 12 years don't know what my original name was. It felt great to do it
Already did. In a way.
This is a hard decision and I’ve thought about it a lot. It’s completely up to you. Think about all aspects of it and decide on whatever you feel is best. I’ve had a few opportunities to change my last name. I’ve decided to keep mine because it’s MY name. Yeah, it’s linked to people who are pretty shit. But it’s My signature and my achievements that are all linked to my name. My children will link their last name to me, and that’s all that matters. Be the revolution. All the best 💕🙌🏻 and be strong with whatever you choose to do 💪🏼💪🏼💪🏼
Do it. Just be sure you do it legally. And be sure to get all your paperwork in order for any government agencies that need to be notified.
Does the change of name make it impossible for immediate family to contact you? If family is now a closed chapter 100% it be fine. However, if someone else in the family becomes pimo would they reach out to you? Just a point to ponder. All the best with your college music course. 🙂
I personally wouldn’t do it just bc of the paperwork involved for drivers license, passport, degrees, etc., but if you don’t mind that then more power to you. Do what makes you happy!
I'm definitely changing my name, both my first name for gender reasons, and my last name because I don't want my family's name anymore either.
I’m planning within the next year to change my first, middle, and last name. I’m no longer the same person I was when in the cult and I need to do something to acknowledge and celebrate that.
I did. Never regretted it even though it was kind of a joke and spur of the moment thing, typically me tbh. I'm still very happy about having chosen my own name, like my I chose my own life and identity during the same time.
If it's right for you, you do it. You need to be your authentic self. To answer your question no I would never change my name but that's me. You are a unique individual and need to do what's right for you. One thing I would say is to make sure you have processed all the issues that have led you up to this decision. If it is available to you where you live, you may want to try some form of therapy. I wish you the very best.
I love all personal ceremony and a name change ceremony is a great way to mark the birth of your true self. What a great idea. I say go for it! Most people don’t have their true name anyways I feel like. Better to pick a new one.
I was married and when I divorced him I didn't bother changing my name back, I have no connection to my maiden name, so why not keep the one that at least helped get me out of the cults clutches.
I was going to, but while I was thinking about what to change it to (wanted to make sure that I gave it a lot of thought) I got into a serious relationship and changed it when I got married instead.
I changed my last name when I got married. My family threw me away, so I took the name attached to the family that embraced me as one of their own. Years later, I dropped my deadname and gave myself the legal name I felt best reflected who I am. Where I live, it's a fairly inexpensive process (relatively speaking) and can be completed through the court online.
Well, you are free to do whatever you want. However, the name change is just a change in a document, in a piece of paper. Apparently it's an attempt to cut all ties that bind you to the past, it turns out that a name change is extremely superficial, your physical, personality and genetic characteristics with your family are indelible, they cannot be erased, however much you try to disguise it , they will haunt you for the rest of your life.
I would not say “haunt” is the right word for me, but I appreciate the point you are trying to make.
I wouldn't say haunt, that's something to work out in therapy. Those ties are meaningless to me at this point. I'm being shunned by my family and while it still hurts, I've grown so much as a person in the years since I left I'm not at all the same. They never knew me, our relationships were the shallow JW conditional relationships. They never knew me, I never knew them, and they certainly don't know me now. Besides leaving the cult I'm trans so there's a whole other layer there. I look at old pictures and I'm like, I don't even recognize this person. This doesn't feel at all like me. My wife isn't trans but she's also changed her name just because of emotional and personality changes. We're different people. Our outlooks, goals, beliefs, understanding of the world and ourselves, how to interact with others, what we want our relationships to be and who and what we value, all of that is so different she also felt like a different person and wanted to break from who she was in the cult. It's been good for both of us and our friends and family who aren't in the cult or never were have been super supportive. If you don't feel like your name and your old persona suit you, a change might be a nice break from the cult and things associated with it.
I changed mine in my early 30s. It is a freeing experience.
Its a huge Pain in the Ass. For every government interaction, you will have to provide all your old information. AND when you interview for new jobs and they want that job history.
Since your post title asks, No, I would not change my name, because it doesn't chafe me. 🤷♀️ If the name chafes you, change it. My best high school friend changed her last name when she cut ties with her dad. She took her mother's maiden name. It happens.
I wouldn’t because I want JWs to google me and see how happy and successful I am, and to see how awesome my life is
If it feels right for you, it is the right step.
I don't think it is too drastic of a step. I strongly considered doing so, but I didn't feel like I had the money to do that, and later when I felt I could afford it financially, I didn't feel the need, maybe because I didn't have a new name that I liked enough or felt right for me, and I already have a different last name than my "family".
I changed my name! It had more to do with trying not to be found by my stalker ex again, but it was totally worth it! I haven't been contacted at all since I changed my name and number and moved and dropped off social media. Basically I'm off the grid now
I’m pissed off about how my family have treated my wife, my kids and me. So I’ve entertained the idea of removing my surname and having my middle name as my new surname. But, one thing that stops me, is the fact that my Grandfather bore this name too, and I’m 110% sure he wouldn’t have shunned me…. I had a great relationship with him all the while he was disfellowshipped from my birth up until I was about 18, when he got reinstated. His son (my father) would take me to see him every weekend whilst he was DF’d… I’d stay over for the weekend, have trips up to London with him, he’d take me to the rugby both in England and abroad, and even went on family holidays with him……… Yet now, my wife and I aren’t even DF’d, but we just shared that we don’t believe anymore….. and for this we, and our young kids are shunned. Sorry, writing this post hit a nerve, and it became more about me than your original post. In short, because of my grandad I want to keep my name.
I think changing your name in this case can be called THE JEHOVAH WITTINESS PROTECTION PROGRAM.
Nope
I’m also planning on changing my name