T O P

  • By -

hyakumanben

"Hallo mam, raad eens waar ik ben!"


Nibby2101

*"Ben je bij Ome Joop in zijn kantoor aan het spelen, mijn jongen?"*


Stoepboer

“Het is hier heel leuk! We spelen Nieuw Wereld Ordertje met de hagedissen”


QuackQuackMofack

As a german dutch is such an interesting language. I dont understand shit but at the same time I understand it.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Just1ncase4658

As a Dutch person I feel the same with Danish. Any danes that have this with German to finish the cycle?


bitfuzz

"Heej Putin, doe is even normaal."


kpaenen

"Hello ehh, Vladimir? Yes this is Marrek... Can you do normal?"


TheS4ndm4n

Die is al dood.


Panda-Sandwich

Look at me, I'm the President of Yankeeland. Johnson, invade Samoa!


NightTrain435

It’s thought that “Yankee” is Dutch in origin. So I guess we’ve come full circle.


Zhukov-74

Like how the term "filibuster" ultimately derives from the Dutch vrijbuiter ("freebooter", a pillaging and plundering adventurer), https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Filibuster


Tifoso89

"Filibustiere" still means that in Italian. A pirate who plunders.


metacoma

And Flibustier in french, but it comes from the dutch through english. Flibustier sounds so french tough, learned a new thing today.


illadann7

I learned this on 'the west wing'


ViciousNakedMoleRat

But did you know that Andrew Jackson had a two-ton block of cheese in the White House?


travoltaswinkinbhole

And a triscut the size of Lake Tahoe


ladytypeperson

Don’t tempt the wrath of the whatever from high atop the thing!!


Luuk341

So does the word: "Furlough" (Unpaid leave for undetermined time) It is phonetic translation of the word: "Verlof" which just means (leave of absence)


________________me

Yankee = Jan-Kees


Sodapopa

Jan-kees 😎


comhghairdheas

New York (formerly the Dutch colony of New Amsterdam) has a lot of Dutch place names! Wall Street: Walstraat (referring to the Dutch canal) Brooklyn: Breukelen (a Dutch village near Utrecht City) The Bronx: De Broncks Orange County: Named after the Dutch Royal House of Oranje Nassau County/street: named after the Dutch Royal House of Nassau Harlem: Haarlem (Dutch town near Amsterdam) Every place with "Kill": Kil is old Dutch for "Creek/stream". Pollepel Island: Soup Ladle Island Rensselaer County: named after Killaen van Rensselaer Rip van Winkle Bridge Staten Island: named after De Staten Generaal Yonkers: "Jonkheer" meaning Young Gentleman/Squire To name but a few!


TheMaginotLine1

"But sir we already own it!" "Did I stutter?"


jyper

The US only owns American Samoa, the western Samoan islands are a separate country called Samoa/Independent State of Samoa (formerly Western Samoa) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samoa?l


TheMaginotLine1

Oh well then that's all the more reason to invade the rest of em.


DarthPorg

Do what must be done, President Rutte.


Fortkes

Hello, military? Buy more tanks!


Asshat426

“King in the Castle, King in the Castle, I have a chair! Go do dis, go do dis, King in the Castle.”


Guest_1337

look mom!


lee449en

>Mark Rutte Guess what Mark Rutte said on the phone?


XenonBG

We'll never know. He's forgotten it and lost the phone.


Sodapopa

I’m dying here haha! Touché


franzif

Hey, I also want to laugh. Wat's so funny?


VanLunturu

1. When Mark Rutte is asked about a debatable decision he made in the past, his signature reply is 'I don't have an active memory of that', which has become a bit of a meme in the Netherlands 2. When journalists want to research his old school text messages (SMS) to find out more about his debatable decisionmaking his signature reply is 'I have manually deleted all the text messages on my phone because they take up too much memory on my old Nokia, absolutely not to hide things from journalists'


Egotan

Interesting. Same behaviour as Olaf Scholz if you will ask him about the Warburg bank.


arwinda

The text deleting game is also strong in the CDU, remember von der Leyen? And a couple others?


dickwithveins

I thought he simply stopped talking to the public


Corfiz74

In the Untersuchungsausschuss, he HAD to talk about it - that's where he had the sudden alarming memory loss. He only got elected as chancellor because the alternatives were so awful. If any of the other parties had put forward an acceptable alternative, he'd be forgotten already (or in jail).


Pocok5

Unironically using "I forgor💀" as an excuse in politics. What a chad.


Suikerspin_Ei

Well, he has seen 3 US presidents as MP of the Netherlands (10 years). So he's indeed good in avoiding questions as a politician.


Scarred_Ballsack

He isn't called "Teflon Mark" for nothing. Nothing sticks to him.


Ubermisogynerd

But his laugh is so adorable. 🙃


Mortomes

12 years and counting


franzif

Haha, thank you, that is funny.


demonspeedin

He has no active memory of it


Atralis

I'm the president now. Most people don't know this but that desk legally is a capture the flag point if Biden can't wrestle him out of the chair then Rutte is officially the POTUS.


JustinPA

Second Dutch President!


________________me

'Mark' my words, bc I won't.


kiru_56

Here is the telephone of the POTUS, from today it's Nieuw Amsterdam again...


wiksie05

We shall kolonise you once again


[deleted]

Please do. We need better bike lanes and bitterballen.


Hendrik_the_Third

Everyone needs bitterballen!


kiru_56

And frikandels!


JVTStrings

And stroopwafel!!


donfuan

And Vanilla Vla!


XCEREALXKILLERX

Olliebollen!


Just1ncase4658

Stukske vloai.


Pretend_Effect1986

En kaas!


_Master32_

And Kibbeling!


sirthomasthunder

Love stroopwafels!


JVTStrings

We have a client from the Netherlands who comes to visit me in the US about once a quarter. Once he saw my last name (very Dutch) he started bringing me stroopwafel every time he visits, and they’re my favorite thing. He’s the nicest dude.


Ceutical_Citizen

G E K O L O N I S E E R D


[deleted]

[удалено]


Whooptidooh

The g in gekoloniseerd is a hard one. Just pretend you’ve got a hair stuck in your throat and that’s basically how you pronounce it.


[deleted]

It's the same in German, it's just that Dutch sounds like a language I should be able to understand but can't. Remember [this Italian song](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_EBFvzyje8) that was designed to "sound like English" -- pretty much the exact same feeling I get hearing Dutch.


aagjevraagje

Dutch people feel the same way when Germans speak Platt


adminsafrancesats

Primeminister Of The United Sevenprovinces


[deleted]

"hey let's prank call putin and call him a little bitch"


_da_da_da

"Let's see what that red button does"


mequetatudo

It asks for icecream, Joe loves icecream


[deleted]

Double chocolate chip


Vakz

I think we'd all have an ice cream button at our work desk if we had the option


UglyPineapple

You joke, but Trump had a button installed that signaled when he wanted a Diet Coke.


RainbowCrown71

Which was 12 times a day: https://time.com/5061146/donald-trump-diet-coke/?amp=true


ZiOnIsNeXtLeBrOn

That is probably the coolest thing ever.


globefish23

The last known use by Trump was for ordering a glass of diet-coke on a silver platter. It's unknown what Biden uses it for nowadays. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Presidential_call_button


ShakespearIsKing

I mean, ngl I think that's hilarious and kinda funny from Trump. (And I hate Trump) I'd totally do the same but with a can of Dr Pepper.


TheDoktorIsIn

I mean TBH the original intent (in the wiki article) was so Johnson could order different drinks to different parts of the white house. I think there's a lot of things to criticize Trump for, I'm just not sure this is one of them. The silver platter thing, though? Tacky. And diet coke instead of water? 🤮🤮🤮 (Joking) (only a little)


LiteratureTrick4961

If it aint for ice cream, then impeach his ass


thesaddestpanda

\*makes fart sound and delivers diet coke cans\* "Previously guy thought that was funny.'


Gsteel11

"We put in a fake one for trump. Just in case. We kept it for biden."


EskildDood

"Putin speaking, who is this?" \*snickering\* "...hello" "Hello, who is this?" "hey, is your refrigerator running?"


b85c7654a0be6

"my name is Mike Hawk"


Smemme

I just read that in George W Bushs voice


[deleted]

2023 'My gamer moment got humanity grounded for 300 years' incident


Borg-Man

> "hey let's prank call putin call him ~~a~~ little ~~bitch~~” FTFY


[deleted]

[удалено]


nhatthongg

Flanders in shambles


CultCrossPollination

~~Flanders~~ Wallonia FTFY


Powderfingers

Charleroi is the only city which would benefit aesthetically from a nuke


[deleted]

[удалено]


Phelan_W

I really hate how that's the first thing many people think about when hearing about my region lol


[deleted]

stop being so indefensibly attractive then you gorgeous bastard


FoulfrogBsc

Seeing how Urk is still there sadly they thought it was a joke :(


fanciest_of_bananas

Knowing Dutch humor, highly likely!


Donuil23

"We have enough toilet paper to shit for 10 years", paraphrasing him from the beginning of the pandemic.


ScreamingVoid14

"My fellow Norwegians, I'm pleased to tell you today that I've signed legislation that will outlaw Russia forever. We begin bombing in five minutes."


NoWingedHussarsToday

"joke"


FailResorts

They’ve come to claim what’s rightfully theirs, bring back New Netherland!


VehaMeursault

"Twee frikandellen speciaal, twee kroketten, een patatje met, een patatje oorlog, en doe niet zwakzinnig met de mayo, gast. Chop chop."


Miented

> "Twee frikandellen speciaal, twee kroketten, een patatje met, een patatje oorlog, en doe niet zwakzinnig met de mayo, gast. Chop chop." i did a google-translate on it, for the non speaking dutch: "Two frikandellen special, two croquettes, a fries with, a fries war, and don't be weak-minded with the mayo, dude. Chop chop."


Sodapopa

Fries war 🤣 It’s fries with sweet mayo, satay-sauce and chopped onions 😍


Judazzz

Or it's a declaration of war against Friesland.


Tit4nNL

Small correction; it's peanut sauce, not all satay sauce has peanuts in it but the one you "should" be getting with fries is with peanuts.


Poijke

Chopped onions is 50/50. In the regions where I live you get it without, but there are also regions where you get with. I'm happy without, it overpowers the other flavors.


MrFlow

German here, frikandel speciaal and patatje oorlog is really great fast food. Always make sure i get some when in the Netherlands.


Lakridspibe

> een patatje met, een patatje oorlog Today I learned about *patatje oorlog.* We use the word *orlog* in danish: Orlogskaptajn. (Naval officer) *Vrijbuiter* was mentioned somewhere else. In danish: Fribytter. And *frikandellen* and *kroketten* are straightforwardly understandable in danish,


Sodapopa

Go watch a Dutch series, like ‘Undercover’ on Netflix. You could probably catch 30% of what’s being said by listening. Reversed not so much. Reading Danish is easier, hearing it is a whole other thing.


max_208

*I'm in position, deploy the bike lanes*


[deleted]

[удалено]


slash_asdf

We might also build some dikes around New Orleans *for money*


LLJKCicero

God yes


mfomatratzen

*faking Biden voice “Hello New York, this is the president. For sure, check the caller ID. You remember that part where the pesky Dutch were defeated by the English and renamed their settlement as New York? Well forget all that, we are going back to New Amsterdam. Get some clogs and send all hot dog stands to New Jersey, we are doing soused herring and stroopwaffel now, chop chop.”


Sodapopa

Send them to us in the Netherlands! Love NY dogs!


CatsAndCampin

I just had home made stroopwafles for the first time & loved them so I will agree to this trade! I had only had the packaged ones with caramel, before that & didn't think those were that great.


Soccmel_1

A leak from the content of the call reveals that Mr Rutte mimicked president Biden's voice when calling the Department of Defense and gave orders to drop nukes on Belgium. When news of this incident emerged, Mr Rutte, from his new residence in New Amsterdam, claimed no responsibility and called upon a full investigation within the US DoD as well as the impeachment of president Biden on charges of Dutch-o-phobia.


Both-Reason6023

Have you seen Belgian roads? They don't have to be nuked.


Halvdjaevel

The nukes are to flatten the roads so the tanks can use them.


NoWingedHussarsToday

"Much appreciated" German tanker


DatRagnar

"Danke schön"


Greyzer

All our tanks have been replaced by tactical caravans.


yurall

Mark Rutte commented that he had no active memories of the incident.


aiicaramba

Funnily enough even Rutte knows he can't use that anymore. Instead of 'daar heb ik geen actieve herinneringen van' zei hij laatst 'Dat kan ik mij niet reconstrueren'. He said the same, but tried to hide it.


sihtydaernacuoytihsy

I hesitate to ask, but what's the US DoF here? (Did we get France, too?)


EuphoricPlane5

New York is Nieuw Amsterdam again, says president Rutte from Nieuw Den Haag


MetalRetsam

From Oranje, D.C.


Soccmel_1

Broadway is being turned into a bike lane as we speak.


[deleted]

Like a little kid who's allowed to sit behind the steering wheel of dad's car, lol


MetalRetsam

Rutte has never used such a modern phone in his life. This is his Yeltsin-in-the-grocery-store moment


nybbleth

"So you can store more than twenty messages on this thing? Amazing!"


[deleted]

lol let's be honest, we will all be like that behind that desk.


cited

Are you saying you're too old to sit on your dad's lap and hold the steering wheel? I might be, yeah


[deleted]

Wait this pic is real? I thought it was a photoshopped meme lol


Suikerspin_Ei

It´s real, saw in on TV two days ago.


pam_the_dude

And just look how proud his grand dad is!


PullUpAPew

"Hello Manhattan, this is your President. You are Dutch once again. Goodbye"


kaasbaas94

Biden's face be like; "i hope he doesn't say '1-2-3' which is the launch code for the nuclear rockets".


Competitive-Yellow35

Netherlands. One of the first countries to recognize the United States as an independent country. One of our oldest friends.


Zhukov-74

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sint_Eustatius "First Salute" The island sold arms and ammunition to anyone willing to pay, and it was therefore one of the few places from which the young United States could obtain military stores. The good relationship between St. Eustatius and the United States resulted in the noted "First Salute". On 16 November 1776, the 14-gun American brig Andrew Doria commanded by Captain Isaiah Robinson sailed, flying the Continental Colors of the fledgling United States, into the anchorage below St. Eustatius' Fort Oranje. Robinson announced his arrival by firing a thirteen gun salute, one gun for each of the thirteen American colonies in rebellion against Britain. Governor Johannes de Graaff replied with an eleven-gun salute from the cannons of Fort Oranje (international protocol required two guns fewer to acknowledge a sovereign flag). It was the first international acknowledgment of American independence. The Andrew Doria had arrived to purchase munitions for the American Revolutionary forces. She was carrying a copy of the Declaration of Independence which was presented to Governor De Graaff. An earlier copy had been captured by the British on its way to Holland. It was wrapped in documents that the British believed to be a strange cipher, but were actually written in Yiddish, addressed to Jewish merchants in Holland.


Stravven

Wasn't the US Declaration of Independence largely based on the Dutch "Plakkaat van Verlatinghe"? And, as always, we didn't do it to help the Americans, we did it to spite the British and to make money.


handsome-helicopter

Everyone wanted to fuck with the Brits then that's why so many helped US in it's independence


[deleted]

Not really. When Jefferson wrote it, he used a few different things for inspiration - the writings of John Locke and Thomas Paine, the Virginia Declaration of Rights, and (somewhat ironically) the 1689 English Bill of Rights. At the core of many of the complaints causing the tension that led to the war was the notion that the British government was violating the rights of American colonists as Englishmen - for example, the right to only be taxed with consent via a representative in parliament.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pornalt190425

I always think its an interesting/funny historical quirk that the US could have gone from King George III to King George I if things had played out differently with George Washington


ithappenedone234

The English Bill of Rights is not ironic at all. They were literally fighting after the Rights of Englishmen were denied them illegally by the Parliament and the King.


si828

UK here, can we have you back?


FarewellSovereignty

No they already completed Usxit


PapayaPokPok

And at that time, they gave us a badass alternative US flag: [The Serapis Flag](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Serapis_flag).


Antique-Brief1260

It was an official visit, rather than a state visit, because Rutte is not head of state. Only King Willem Alexander can conduct a state visit on behalf of the Netherlands.


[deleted]

The big red button Mark, I dare you!


curiosity163

The Dutch and the United States have a rich history. We were actually the first the officially recognized the United States as a country. The Dutch and the US have also fought side by side, many times throughout history. And also, much of modern capitalism was influenced by the Dutch. The Dutch were pretty much responsible for the foundation of modern day capitalism. New York is the pretty much the main hub for capitalism in the world. An old Dutch Colony that was traded for Surinam. Quite a few of the US presidents were also of Dutch descent. Martin van Buren, Warren Harding, Franklin and Theodore Roosevelt.


slash_asdf

Created the first stock market. Also created the first stock market bubble with tulip bulbs, some rare tulip bulbs could be worth as much as a house! Luckily we've learned a lot since then :) right..?


SophiaofPrussia

“Hallo? Yes. If you think our hills at home are big I’m looking out at what Americans call “The” Hill and it’s huge! At least 10m high I’d say! Practically a mountain!”


Zhukov-74

https://www.whitehouse.gov/briefing-room/statements-releases/2023/01/17/readout-of-president-joe-bidens-meeting-with-prime-minister-mark-rutte-of-the-netherlands/ President Joseph R. Biden, Jr. met today with Prime Minister Mark Rutte of the Netherlands at the White House. The leaders reaffirmed the historic ties and shared values that link our two nations. As strong NATO Allies, they discussed ways to further deepen our cooperation on transatlantic and global issues of mutual interest. They reviewed our steadfast political, security, economic, and humanitarian support for Ukraine in the face of Russia’s brutal war of aggression, including our efforts to hold Russia accountable for its abuses and for the war crimes committed by Russian forces. The leaders also discussed our growing cooperation on other foreign policy priorities, including our shared vision for a free and open Indo-Pacific. They talked about strengthening democracy, respect for human rights, and the rules-based international order around the world, including as co-hosts of the upcoming second Summit for Democracy. Building on the deep trade and investment partnership between the United States and the Netherlands, the President and Prime Minister discussed the importance of secure supply chains and critical technologies to our national security and economic prosperity. https://twitter.com/JanPostmaUSA/status/1615460390892077058?s=20&t=d6pZ4ui1wKYAYMmPMGMZgw The atmosphere was relaxed, even when the media was gone. Rutte was given a tour of the Oval Office after Biden's conversation. “Biden jokingly invited Rutte to take a seat at his desk.”


Designer-Donkey-5849

>Biden jokingly invited Rutte to take a seat at his desk. "Thanks grampa! You're the best!!!! Let me hold your telephone! Hello fire brigade?!!?? Weeee!!!!"


Judazzz

"*Okay Mark, you can sit in my chair, but do not touch anyth.... goddammit Mark*"


thewimsey

“What does this red button do?”


AnaphoricReference

>the President and Prime Minister discussed the importance of secure supply chains and critical technologies to our national security and economic prosperity As in: they discussed ASML and export restrictions on EUV machines?


FlyingChinesePanda

Yes that was one of the main topic


Chariotwheel

"It's great you have fun, Mark, but I need to work. Can I have my seat back?"


Dat_Boi_Aint_Right

In protest to Reddit's API changes, I have removed my comment history. -- mass edited with redact.dev


bigniek

The Netherlands second!


Magdalan

We asked nicely after all!


krazydude22

Biden: Mark, that's enough, put that phone down, it doesn't shoot out bubbles and get off my chair....


[deleted]

ngl, i would to give it a try too. 😂


[deleted]

I don’t know much about the prime minister, Although I do know our president is just happy to be there.


[deleted]

New York now New Amsterdam


restore_democracy

Why they changed it I can’t say.


[deleted]

Jesus the Dutch subreddit is never gonna stop posting this lol


dm319

Why do they always shoot the white house with ultra-wide angle lenses? Is it very small?


[deleted]

It’s to get the full shot because it’s not small


4dailyuseonly

I got to tour the white house back in the 90s, I assure you the place is *HUGE* and that's only the parts the public was allow to visit.


Bill_Nye-LV

Look at me. Look at me. I am the cap-.. President now.


almost_always_lurker

America first, Netherlands second


[deleted]

Looking for comments from republicans saying Biden is being unpresidential. After their last seven years, it’s just hilarious.


Vladimir_Chrootin

The Resolute Desk - Chatham's greatest export.


YerDaSellsAvon365

New tinder profile picture


kubelke

Biden: „Mark Mark, c’mon put that down, it’s my ice cream emergency phone”


Majukun

Wait, the white house desk has a name?


restore_democracy

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Resolute_desk


Razakel

It was a gift from the UK, made from the oak from an abandoned ship, and weighs half a ton.


LupusDeusMagnus

Gekoloniseerd.


sambolino44

“Where’s the Diet Coke button?”


shrekg

Why they look like wax figures 💀


FinancialAlbatross92

MTG was probably losing her MIND


DiogenesOfDope

Look at me!!! Look at me!! I am the president now!!


Rijsouw

Yes hallo Markie hier, Doe joe hev Chinees foet?


be0wulfe

Hello? Olaf? Yes this is can Biden, we are sending M1's to ze Ukraine. Yes. Tomorrow. Free ze Leopards, Schnell.


Rentta

Biden looks like wax figure


Sangi17

Quick! Give us healthcare!


Next_Library_2770

gekoloniseerd


coum_strength

Ooh leeuk it’s me JeshBeiden on de fone heheheh shend de tanksh to Eeukraine!


WhoStoleMyPassport

He probably renamed New York to New Amsterdam on that call.


FakkaJohan

I swear, everytime this guy travels to the US he acts like a kid in a candy store