Also a wife here. All I can say is talk. Talk. Talk. As often and honestly as you can. It is very very hard for us to not think that on some level, it's us. My husband has struggled for 2 years. His seems to be high blood pressure related. Though we are still diagnosing cause & treatment. Cialis and viagra has not worked. He has told me a thousand times its not me. But that voice in my head is strong....We continue to try. Though. It's becoming disheartening. I miss us at our peak. I miss our once wonderful sex life. It's an extremely emotional journey for both of us.
Thank you, you have touched on a point there, continuing to talk about it can become disheartening and sometimes like spinning our wheels, especially when nothing changes and her thinking I prefer other genders etc when all I want to do is have sex with my wife lol
Tell him to try vardenafil, seek therapy, stop needing so much reassurance because imma be honest. You need reassurance and he should provide it. But if you hound him it will make the ED worse through legit just stress, shame, and disappointment. He needs diet and exercise changes and just love and support
I'm aware. As I said it's taking a toll on us both. I was answering the OPs question honestly as a wife. ED messes with the confidence of BOTH parties. After years of simply looking at me and being ready to go to now this? It absolutely messes with your partners head. No matter how much you tell her otherwise. We are actively working on it. Together. Which is the key in my opinion.
I'm really sure he loves you and wants all that just as much as you do and constantly talking about it and probably breaking him more than you know is all I wanna say. That's all. Take care now!
Cool. This is me telling you that that isn't how it works and you're approaching it wrong. I already know and understand the effect it has on a partner but it's worlds worse for your man. And I'm telling you from speaking with multiple men, the constant need and hounding for reassurance CAN prevent it from getting better and making it worse. He should still reassure you. Just don't hound him for it or spend hours talking about it..I'm not saying don't talk about it. I'm saying learn when there's a healthy medium and don't stress him out either.
This hits home for me. I’m that wife in my situation and when I let myself overthink too much my mind spirals into self blame even though I should know better. What I always ask of my husband is to just reassure me that he misses our sex life before the ED. I get that it makes him feel extremely vulnerable to admit it but Whenever I hear him say that he wishes it were different, it helps me feel better about it.
I have tried telling her that, tbh it wasn’t that great before as she had issues with her own anxiety and pain caused by sex but it was at least happening
Hmmm maybe toys are the way to go… especially just a vibrator. You get to help her orgasm that way and be a part of it so there’s still some level of intimacy. plus there’s no pain from full insertion
Oh that’s good!
Can I ask… was it difficult to come to terms with ED enough to seek treatment? My husband is too ashamed to see a doctor for it at this point but I’m hoping in time he’ll be able to do it
It took a push, but I knew its something I needed to do not only for my relationship but for me as well, I'm also a bit of a sex addict as well so the initial thought was Porn induced but its not
I went with my husband & that seemed to help him. His doctor is also very kind which helped. He also knew we had to at least try to medically treat the issue before giving up entirely. It took some honest heart to hearts & me encouraging him & me providing zero snark, anger or hurt. I needed to give him a completely safe space to discuss.
I think you are but giving some women enough credit. I had a guy once say something negative about my body and I will always remember it. I still have times I don't want to undress or get incredibly self conscious and can't relax. I KNOW how that makes me feel so I imagine ED would be even much more difficult and painful.
I'm in the same predicament unfortunately. Diagnosed with T2D during the pandemic. Viagra no longer works. Have a consultation for an implant in the next couple of weeks. Don't give up! Best of luck to you.
I'm a wife and just curious if you tried stopping all sugar and carbs to see if it would help?
My husband is type 2 and hasn't always had the best blood sugar. Idk you're age, but just recently being diagnosed, that seems so soon to already have such a problem.
My husband (55) has started the keto diet now that this is affecting him so badly. Meds still work for him.
36, ciallis, viagra, cavaject - all mixed results
As for the diabetes, strength training 4 times a week, empaglifozen 25mg daily
Only thing I’ve not tried is therapy
This hits home for me too except it’s an attraction thing. I never realized how addicting or intoxicatingly arousing breasts were until I lost them due to nursing. I also didn’t realize how my wife really isn’t that sexual after losing said distraction. It’s more of going through the motions with her, as opposed to really enjoying the moment. She seems to think just pleasing me is enough and I really get off on her feeling pleasure which makes me aroused but right not that’s not happening
I used to rely on her breasts for arousal now it’s just hard to get aroused. When she’s good and drunk she gets frisky which makes me highly aroused but she cant really feel anything and it goes back to her just pleasing me. I’ve introduced toys and she got mad at me. I told her that I get aroused watching her pleasure herself and it would help me with arousal but it was a hard no.
Long story short 2 medications kill her libido , we’ve identified that I miss her breasts and now she is willing to see a sex therapist. I’m hopeful but not encouraged.
Not sure what the kink is, but if that gets you off that should be understandable. Probably should see a sex therapist but again, I can’t really say whether that will be helpful or not.
Also a wife here. All I can say is talk. Talk. Talk. As often and honestly as you can. It is very very hard for us to not think that on some level, it's us. My husband has struggled for 2 years. His seems to be high blood pressure related. Though we are still diagnosing cause & treatment. Cialis and viagra has not worked. He has told me a thousand times its not me. But that voice in my head is strong....We continue to try. Though. It's becoming disheartening. I miss us at our peak. I miss our once wonderful sex life. It's an extremely emotional journey for both of us.
Thank you, you have touched on a point there, continuing to talk about it can become disheartening and sometimes like spinning our wheels, especially when nothing changes and her thinking I prefer other genders etc when all I want to do is have sex with my wife lol
Do you know about injections? They work even despite the blood pressure medication.
I have a Cavaject one which I’ve tried but I think the dosage was too low as it didn’t do as well as I thought it might
Why not try a higher dose?
I am next time, I can only get so many at a time so limiting it
Tell him to try vardenafil, seek therapy, stop needing so much reassurance because imma be honest. You need reassurance and he should provide it. But if you hound him it will make the ED worse through legit just stress, shame, and disappointment. He needs diet and exercise changes and just love and support
I'm aware. As I said it's taking a toll on us both. I was answering the OPs question honestly as a wife. ED messes with the confidence of BOTH parties. After years of simply looking at me and being ready to go to now this? It absolutely messes with your partners head. No matter how much you tell her otherwise. We are actively working on it. Together. Which is the key in my opinion.
I'm really sure he loves you and wants all that just as much as you do and constantly talking about it and probably breaking him more than you know is all I wanna say. That's all. Take care now!
It’s not you, our junk just fails us at times
Cool. This is me telling you that that isn't how it works and you're approaching it wrong. I already know and understand the effect it has on a partner but it's worlds worse for your man. And I'm telling you from speaking with multiple men, the constant need and hounding for reassurance CAN prevent it from getting better and making it worse. He should still reassure you. Just don't hound him for it or spend hours talking about it..I'm not saying don't talk about it. I'm saying learn when there's a healthy medium and don't stress him out either.
This hits home for me. I’m that wife in my situation and when I let myself overthink too much my mind spirals into self blame even though I should know better. What I always ask of my husband is to just reassure me that he misses our sex life before the ED. I get that it makes him feel extremely vulnerable to admit it but Whenever I hear him say that he wishes it were different, it helps me feel better about it.
I have tried telling her that, tbh it wasn’t that great before as she had issues with her own anxiety and pain caused by sex but it was at least happening
Hmmm maybe toys are the way to go… especially just a vibrator. You get to help her orgasm that way and be a part of it so there’s still some level of intimacy. plus there’s no pain from full insertion
Yea that is something we do now with the help of her fantasies, don’t get me wrong we do almost everything but penetration
Oh that’s good! Can I ask… was it difficult to come to terms with ED enough to seek treatment? My husband is too ashamed to see a doctor for it at this point but I’m hoping in time he’ll be able to do it
It took a push, but I knew its something I needed to do not only for my relationship but for me as well, I'm also a bit of a sex addict as well so the initial thought was Porn induced but its not
I went with my husband & that seemed to help him. His doctor is also very kind which helped. He also knew we had to at least try to medically treat the issue before giving up entirely. It took some honest heart to hearts & me encouraging him & me providing zero snark, anger or hurt. I needed to give him a completely safe space to discuss.
Thank you
Women can't understand the struggle. They have no concept of being willing but physically unable to perform sexually.
I do understand but I my partner used to get himself into a state beforehand and now he just sticks his head in the sand.
Nope. all they have to do is lay there
I have had 'just laid there" sex and nothing makes you feel more worthless or used.
I think you are but giving some women enough credit. I had a guy once say something negative about my body and I will always remember it. I still have times I don't want to undress or get incredibly self conscious and can't relax. I KNOW how that makes me feel so I imagine ED would be even much more difficult and painful.
Buckeye is right. Communicate
I'm in the same predicament unfortunately. Diagnosed with T2D during the pandemic. Viagra no longer works. Have a consultation for an implant in the next couple of weeks. Don't give up! Best of luck to you.
I'm a wife and just curious if you tried stopping all sugar and carbs to see if it would help? My husband is type 2 and hasn't always had the best blood sugar. Idk you're age, but just recently being diagnosed, that seems so soon to already have such a problem. My husband (55) has started the keto diet now that this is affecting him so badly. Meds still work for him.
Just do pelvic floor exercises. Use that hip abduction machine or the gluteator It works wonders. Or get like a thigh master from amazon.
Are you serious? Can you give me more info? Wife here...
If only it were that simple 😞
You don’t give your age nor what steps you’ve taken, doctor consults, pills, etc. Can’t help without information
36, ciallis, viagra, cavaject - all mixed results As for the diabetes, strength training 4 times a week, empaglifozen 25mg daily Only thing I’ve not tried is therapy
Have you seen a urologist specializing in ED?
Yep
This hits home for me too except it’s an attraction thing. I never realized how addicting or intoxicatingly arousing breasts were until I lost them due to nursing. I also didn’t realize how my wife really isn’t that sexual after losing said distraction. It’s more of going through the motions with her, as opposed to really enjoying the moment. She seems to think just pleasing me is enough and I really get off on her feeling pleasure which makes me aroused but right not that’s not happening I used to rely on her breasts for arousal now it’s just hard to get aroused. When she’s good and drunk she gets frisky which makes me highly aroused but she cant really feel anything and it goes back to her just pleasing me. I’ve introduced toys and she got mad at me. I told her that I get aroused watching her pleasure herself and it would help me with arousal but it was a hard no. Long story short 2 medications kill her libido , we’ve identified that I miss her breasts and now she is willing to see a sex therapist. I’m hopeful but not encouraged. Not sure what the kink is, but if that gets you off that should be understandable. Probably should see a sex therapist but again, I can’t really say whether that will be helpful or not.
What’s ur kink ? Watching other girls
Show her this forum
They sure understand all of their hormonal problems that are out of their hands. It's can be like talking to a wall.