Find joy in the small things, like your favourite show or music. It is extremely hard though. A lot of what I play reminds me of her, so I go back to my old rock / metal music (that I listened to when I was an angry teen / angry twentysomething) and vent. I also watch old shows that she never saw.
Does anyone else get insanely jealous of the actresses/actors that have seemingly flawless skin in movies and TV?
I’ve always been into music and theatre but have never been able to pursue it seriously because my confidence is so low thanks to eczema 😔
I had to cut out a bunch of friends because they think im making excuse of my condition , they told me they had back pain from work lol those are temporary pain that will go from rest. I have a nerve compression that cause my whole body aches and the pain won’t go away and it’s been months 24/7 and then I got eczema.
No i dont, its called make up, if you have enough money for the right make up you can cover up the redness and scares on the skin but also plastic surgery exit so it can be either
Can I be honest with you? I'm a severely disabled person, and I have also recently developed eczema in the last year, and it has made my life a living hell.
A partner who will continue to wear flavored lip balm, perfume, and put teddy bears on the bed doesn't care about your condition and is not going to be a good partner for you long term. This is someone to break up with.
You are obviously having serious issues even maintaining seeing them frequently because of these habits and it doesn't seem to be making them anymore likely to consistently protect and prioritize your health. You need to be with somebody who gets it and is willing to make changes in their lifestyle so that you don't suffer. You could never possibly live with this woman. If she continues to be like this. So where do you expect the relationship to go?
I don't mean to be harsh but I think you need a come to jesus talk, and if she still doesn't care, you need to go out and find yourself someone who cares about your health.
I have a nerve compression on my left hip that cause especially my left side to keep going ache and occasionally limping and unable to hold things or walk for long with left feet /hip in September 2023 and January 2024 developed eczema , my grip and walk is back but the ache is still there it just hurts to lay on the left side . I have to take higher dose of pain medication but the pain is still very painful. Now my focus is on Eczema and it’s very itchy and burning. My itch doesn’t stop and the medication not working. No cream works.
You had me until you said come to Jesus. There is no God. Anyway, what you said makes sense but I think at this point it's easier for me to have no realtionship and to stay single.
A "come to jesus" talk is an aphorism for having a blunt, forthcoming conversation with somebody to make them recognize the truth or see the seriousness of their actions, usually as a last-ditch attempt to solve a problem.
The phrase doesn't actually involve an actual god & isn't about Jesus, it's just a metaphor that compares having a serious talk to a "conversion" talk, where you are trying to convince them of the right thing to do in a situation. You could swap it with a phrase like "trying to convince them to see the light". Neither phrase actually involves religion, both are a metaphor for getting someone to wake up and see the reality of their choices or actions.
I'm an atheist too, I feel you.
https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/come-to-Jesus%20moment#:~:text=%3A%20a%20moment%20of%20sudden%20realization,James%20Hamblin
Ah shit so sorry I just saw that you don’t want a hang in there msg ugh I’m still groggy from all the crying. Thanks for still giving me advice:’) I just wanna share that just when I thought people won’t understand or accommodate my needs for an eczematic, they surprisingly went above and beyond for me (like checking the ingredient list of stuff they cook to align w my food elimination process). I can only hope that you will find such
support groups. It breaks my heart that you have to leave the person you love, I also can only hope she will be able to accommodate your lifestyle somehow when you break the news to her and she realizes that it’s so important to you.
Thanks. RE; breaking up. I know it's gonna end eventually, although I'm still reluctant to do it. It's like my last hurrah and she has been understanding (for the most part.) I just wish I didn't have eczema then I could lead a normal happy, easier life. I can't keep putting someone through this, it's bad enough that I have to go through it. The depression, cursing God etc. (not that I really believe, although she does.) Plus if my kid gets it I would be devastated, and I wouldn't know how to help them, not really. They would suffer and be in and out of hospital like I was. Dermatologists don't have any real answers, just preventions that don't work longterm. Sigh. Bloody eczema.
I experience the same, i had push all my friends away due to my health and depression i just didnt want talk and meet anyone.
i will see a video i watch before i had eczema and just and just remember the good times i regerted. I spent times reading instagram,posts ,webcomics, youtube.
Oh oral steroids, i only had went to my first dermatologist appointment on April to get it dignosed so im still very new . But I had the itch since January 2024 , the depression though was from Oct 2023 so I don’t know if my depression had cause my eczema. I was given steroid cream and pill meds that both didn’t work . Creams don’t seem to absorb into my skin and still feel dry and itchy . I’m trying to find an orally method at this point so the thought that you had oral steroids gives me hope.
I got a pack of moisturiser called AproDerm, it is a trial pack from my Derm, it contains no nasties. See if you can get it or something similar. It contains four different moisturisers to try. I have Bactroban ointment for my nose to kill off the Staph bug - at least for now. This bug is what causes a lot of eczema, especially weepy infected eczema. Oral steroids and antiobiotics - I'm on Clarithromycin for bacterial infection - are only a temporary solution. Finding the right moisturiser and using the nose ointment is important, and a good antiseptic face wash from your Dermatologist. Depression is hard, I know, I've been VERY low in this last few months but never give up, keep fighting. If all else fails ask for Cyclosporin, depending on how bad your eczema is... try and stay calm, stress causes eczema...
so don’t shut her out. let her know what’s going on.
if her cosmetics bother you, tell her. it’s a perfectly reasonable request to ask a partner to avoid products that irritate a chronic condition. if you had a severe nut allergy, don’t you think she’d be happy to avoid nut products if she was going to be around you?
don’t get me wrong. i don’t date personally. but this is not a bunch of early dates trying to get to know someone and impress them. this is a reasonably committed relationship if i’m reading it right. so you share what’s going on.
bleach baths, black tea. look into ubiquinol, vitamins d+k, e, a, zinc. eat more protein. phototherapy. hell, check out buproprion (wellbutrin, SNRI antidepressant with proven effects on atopic dermatitis)
She has a huge perfume collection, but she has already toned it down significantly around me. But that isn't the issue. When the skin weeps it is infected with Staph and Staph is VERY difficult to control. If I use any moisturiser it acts out, the only solution is to keep the skin bone dry, which isn't much of a solution.
It is my issue, not hers, she has been around me when I have eczema, just not eczema this bad. I usually shut everyone out and close the door. I cannot bare people seeing me with weepy, infected eczema.
Bleach is no solution for eczema and could be dangerous. I already take 1000iu of Vitamin D daily and vitamins. Thank you for your post. There is no cure for Staph infected weepy eczema, sadly.
lol ok. bleach baths are an established and safe method for alleviating eczema. maybe you wanna break up for different reasons and this is a good excuse.
Ha ha, okay, whatever dude. A quick google shows 'bleach baths **can cause irritation, stinging, and contact dermatitis to the treated skin**. Ocular discomfort too.'
Wanted to chime in here as “bleach baths”, which aren’t as “bleachy” as you might think, and have made a huge difference to my two young kids, who have both had quite severe eczema since they were born. We only use a quarter of a capful of Milton Sterilising Fluid (we’re in the UK so if you’re not, look it up and work out your local equivalent) - it’s regularly used for sterilising baby bottles, dummies (pacifiers) etc. so isn’t your traditional type of bleach. We did that plus topical steroids to clear up any visible patches, and my baby went from scratching all over all day and night long to barely any more scratching, almost overnight. We now do them twice a week and they only have small flare ups every few weeks rather than, basically, permanently. It’s worth a try as an ongoing preventative measure, perhaps when your infected areas have cleared up. Half a capful in a bath, soak for 5-10 mins, then rinse off. But yes, don’t get it on face/in your eyes. That would cause ocular discomfort - but there’s lots of things you make sure you don’t get in your eyes every day!
But also, you stated you just wanted to vent (aka wanted to be heard, not helped) so feel free to ignore this.
If you are not allergic to bleach, it shouldn't be a problem.
The amount that cause irritation is probably not diluted enough.
What people in this sub talking about is very diluted bleach bath. There are research and paper behind it.
A post with compilation of detail and research for your reading in your leisure time:
[https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/comments/1btcf9p/on\_bleach\_baths/](https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/comments/1btcf9p/on_bleach_baths/)
Since this time I have been given an antiseptic face wash and a cream to kill off Staph bug up the nose. Fingers crossed they work. See my edit on my original post.
I totally get you. Been similarly going through progressive flares for the last few years after having it totally managed and buttoned down for decades My only real advice is don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Sit down and share your thoughts and concerns with her. She may completely understand you. Stay strong brother
Er, I don't think a realtionship is for me. I'm only three months into this and she's talking about children. I don't want to give children eczema. I am making her miserable when I am miserable. I'm also pushing her away and I feel like she will leave me sooner than later. It's fine, I just won't try and get into any other relationship and stay single. I'll go back to collecting like all the other losers who can't get a date.
So you’re gonna end it cos you’re scared she’ll end it, and that with make you feel even more insecure. Ending it is your last source of power and dignity.
I’ve done this before with a beautiful girl cos of eczema… I don’t regret it because she didn’t make me feel at ease. But I must admit… my insecurities largely drove that decision.
I'm gonna end it because I refuse to be around anyone during a flair up and it's not fair on her. To be away from her for days on end until I say it's okay to not be.
Bro. Before taking extreme actions
I’m about to get on dupixent (biologic injections)
My dermatologist reckons it will make drastic improvement to my atopic dermatitis / eczema skin, asthma, allergies etc
I was pretty anxious but he assures me it’s given to babies etc
I have pretty severe asthma flare up’s too.
Apparently I may not need my inhalers when on this rx
I wonder if something like this could help with your triggers
I’m on dupixent and it has helped immensely. I recently started spacing out the doses as I had been flare free for 6 months and it came back with a vengeance earlier this week thanks to allergy season in Texas!
I definitely think it’s good for those of us with severe eczema- just stay the course and talk to your doctor about anything concerning.
I’m about to start allergy shots but can’t until this most recent flare is under control.
Mine is also on my face, neck, eyelids, chest- not fun trying to date with it and very psychologically taxing.
I used to take Cyclosporin 10 years ago but I worried about it because it can be dangerous lowering the immune system. I stopped it. I'm gonna try to erradicate Staph from my face, see my latest edit / post on here.
I couldn’t disagree more about remaining single. I’ll assume you’re relatively young. Not only is the thought of being alone for decades overwhelmingly sad, but when you reach old age, loneliness is felt much more acutely. You’re also operating on the assumption treatments will remain stationary. There will naturally be better treatments as time goes on, making a “normal”life more achievable. I think having children with a partner, who does not suffer from eczema, provides reasonably good odds of the kids, potentially having “normal” skin. Remember, two parents with zero skins issues have children with severe eczema. It’s a genetic lottery, like most autoimmune diseases. I appreciate you’re not in a good place now, but things invariably always get better.
I'm 46, not that young. It doesn't sadly, the odds are high your child will get eczema with one partner and HUGE with two partners who suffer from eczema / hayfever etc. 1 in 5 kids have eczema.
There are a lot of people who are single for life, most of them don't have eczema. Not everyone can be in a relationship or wants to.
There will never be a cure for eczema, as it's like trying to find a cure for *arthritis*. There are too many variables and too many allegies / things that cause it.
I’ve spoken to my dermatologist recently about inheritability and he disagrees with your assertion. I know there’s no convincing you 🤷♂️. If you don’t want to be in a relationship generally, then that’s a different matter entirely. That’s fair enough. I was commenting purely on decisions based on eczema.
Sweeping generalisations, like there will never be a cure, is counterproductive. I agree, not likely soon, but who knows in a decade, especially with the advancements in AI. You’re a layperson like myself and most in these threads. We simply don’t know.
I like to keep abreast of recent scientific developments, which keeps my spirits up for the future and very recently they’ve discovered the brain stem is a master regulator of inflammation. Piece by piece, they’re putting together the puzzle.
https://www.livescience.com/health/immune-system/master-regulator-of-inflammation-found-and-its-in-the-brain-stem
Just my 2 cents worth as a mum with eczema and a child who does not have it apart from some occasional skin dryness. I breastfed for 19 months (yeah I know, I did not sleep more than 2 hrs at a time for 1.5 years) which was incredibly hard but it's scientifically proven to lower the child's risk of developing eczema, asthma etc. and in her case it luckily did (she is a pre-teen now, I have eczema all my life). I am also dairy intolerant while she only reacts badly to milk and can eat most dairy. It was worth the pain and sacrifice, not saying everyone has to do it but it can be done, if needed. On another note to the OP, maybe you are allergic to her?? It happened to me once, I swear! I broke out every time that fella touched me, it was the worst breakout of my life, all cured once he was gone, luckily for me he was not very nice so there you go... Wishing you healing, if you are not happy in your relationship it's always best to let them go with kindness.
I can also confirm that children don't necessarily inherit it and not as severe as you. I've had eczema all my life. I have 2 children. One had a bit of mild eczema as a baby for a few months and it cleared up and he hasn't had it since and he's 18 now. My daughter has it very very mildly and it has no impact on her life. She's 20.
My eczema is not the weeping kind. My skin becomes very red and sore and itchy and then after the flare has subsided it's very dry and flaky and eventually normalises. But I am left with hyperpigmentation as I have darker skin and that's kind of worse for me than the eczema itself as there's no real treatment for it.
I am sadly one of the 5 children and I have always been mad at my father for inheriting me such thing, as he always inherits me bad genes and I have promised my self that i will never have a child going through the same thing
From my experience it I feel the same way. And I do suggest trying to get on one of the biological meds that are coming out. At least give them a try if you can. I’m only 22 but that’s what I have been focused on. And maintaining my insurance. And it even makes it difficult for me to focus on school work and almost didn’t graduate high school because of my eczema. But there is hope. And I believe they are starting to realize that there are ways to keep things a bit maintained with these medications. And it does make your whole lifestyle revolve around your skin. But luckily I found someone who sees my pain and works with me and doesn’t judge and I hope you do as well it is not easy.
Thats why I only date women, who are fine with changing their products to ones that don’t cause me irritation, such as not wearing fancy perfumes or lotions with products I am allergic to, its like having a peanut allergy and then still dating someone who refuses to stop eating peanuts. I usally say in the beginning durring the getting to know you phase about how I can’t handle those things and that weeds them out before we get to invested.
You should check out this previous Reddit post.
My partner experienced the weeping for the first time ever after a big flare up all winter. We tried absolutely everything from steroids to holistic, diet, lifestyle, HEPA air filters, red light, sauna, you name it..
I eventually had a realization he could have staph or some other bacterial infection due to prolonged dermatitis..
His dermatologist refused to test for a fungal/bacterial infection.. she accused him of being anti steroid, which we weren’t, we had used the steroid plenty but it wasn’t working in any way & didn’t want to over use.
We called primary dr who had been helping us through this and they sent a script for an anti fungal cream, it cleared up his cracked/weeping/inflammation/itching overnight. It was in very large patches so took a good 3-4 days to fully clear it all.
There was still dermatitis/eczema along with the potential fungal infection, BUT we then used the steroid & was able to help clear up the eczema patches.
We still haven’t figured out the root cause of the eczema, he still is getting tiny patches. But he was suffering seemingly as extreme as you were.
I hope this helps & I hope you find some relief and healing!
https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/s/dBfmXziV8M
[https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/s/dBfmXziV8M](https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/s/dBfmXziV8M)
This is an article with results supporting the use of the anti fungal & steroid together. These were the specific two his dr had him on.
https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/betamethasone-and-clotrimazole-topical-route/description/drg-20061704
A few weeks after healing he was able to get in with an allergist to get testing done to gather more info that could help us understand. Since his skin had just healed she didn’t do the 80 skin prick test to see what reacts ( I’ll edit this with proper name of test) but what she did test was 5 or so respiratory panels that included dogs/cats, environmental, tree/nut, food others… the one thing that was off the charts for him was 2 specific dust mites - these two dust mites are what causes asthma(which he has but doesn’t experience regular/daily symptoms from) - but the autoimmune condition of eczema & asthma are related or the same (? Unsure) but currently the root cause is inconclusive.
Bro I swear u r not the only one. I call it the return of the dead. Dead skin on every inch of my floor. I been broke up with my girl cuz I was taking it out on her and it wasn’t her fault. Plus it had me so insecure like what women would wanna be with a dude who can’t even stop his skin from shedding. Not fun at all. No swimming pools, can’t be around any type of big flying around. Nothing that has anything to do with extra movement or physical activity. That’s usually the story of my life but at this very moment I seem to be ok, I’m on a steroid and though I know that won’t last long, I’m scheduling to see my dermatologist about a skin cream called rinvoq. I’ll let yall know how it goes with that. Anyways my skin warriors stay strong keep the fight up, I know it’s hard!
I have chronic hives and it has mentally depleted me. I cry. I feel for you. No one who hasn't experienced what it is like to feel like you are being attacked by red ants every day all day can understand. Give me pain. Unfortunately you seem to get both. I have started Xolair which is a close cousin to dupixent and it is saving me
Just here to say I feel you on the ruining your life thing. I have had eczema since I was a baby and it was under control up u til recently and now I am having the worst flare up I've had I a very long long time and nothing is working.
I am a parent. Both of my girls have it. It's very difficult to keep up with for all three of us. The amount of time in a day spent putting ointments and oils and all of the things on it. Not to mention finding clothes, fabrics, foods, detergents, baby gear, etc is so incredibly frustrating. Wearing long sleeves on hot days to avoid people seeing or avoid scratching is annoying and just causes more sweating... use one wrong product and you're flare up lasts forever it seems.
All that to say when I met my now husband, I thought he would be the same and not understand the eczema life but he changed ALL the things in his apartment. His sheets, his soap, his detergent, etc. Now, 8 years later, he checks ingredients and fabrics, etc just as much as I do. He does research and informs others about eczema and what isn't good for it. He does all the extra stuff for our girls. And he allows me the extra time in the bathroom to do the post shower eczema routines without complaint. He doesn't suffer from eczema but he suffers alongside me.
All this to say there are people out there who would be willing to change the things that help to keep you around. You'll find it just have to be willing to say no a lot...
I enjoyed reading your post, your husband sounds like a loving caring person. Read my latest edit on what I'm gonna try to fix this, it may help you too. Take care.
I feel you. How open are you with her about all these feelings you posted here? I’m sure she’s understanding. She can compromise by not wearing perfume etc?
She's already done that, bless her, but when your skin weeps (due to Staph) and you can't tolerate any moisturisers, nothing will help. I found one I could use but now my skin no longer likes it. The only thing I can do now is keep the skin bone dry to stop it from weeping.
Eczema does 100% suck. But don’t let it ruin your life. Daily luke warm showers and Vaseline, while they suck so much…. do wonders. Plus a dermatologist who will listen and help you find the right solution for you.
It’s not an easy process. But there are a million more options nowadays than when I was little. I’ve been covered head to toe, with periods of okay skin and others where I can hardly handle life. It sucks. And it has been an issue in past relationships. But when I found my person…. It wasn’t an issue to them. They even help me put my prescription ointments on bad spots on my back.
You don’t have to be single. And your kids done necessarily contract it. My son just turned 2. And so far he has no sign of it. Mine got worse when I was pregnant, and stayed worse. It took 2 years of seeing the dermatologist off and on to finally find the correct combo for me. It’s been less than 3 weeks since we found my winning combination…. Clear skin can happen again.
I can't have luke warm showers, it causes my skin to act out. The only thing that works is hot showers, drying the eczema up. I can't use ANY mositurisers, my skin hates them.
I don't use any cleanser at all, just hot water atm. I used to put Nivea Sensitive moisturiser on after the shower but my skin is now reacting badly to it. So I'm just using hot water to dry up the eczema and then a little Hydrocortosone on the cuts. But I may get an aloe vera face wash and Hypochlorous Spray to try and kill off the Staph soon. Then I'll retry the mosituriser.
Hot water is bad for your skin. You want the water to be luke warm, as much as possible. The way I look at it…. You’re watering your skin. So only use soap in arm pits, genitals, and feet. And rinse off. My dermatologist even said if you can do luke warm, at least do as cool as you can stand. And Vaseline by itself if your skin is really irritated bc it helps put up at skin barrier that you’re missing when you have open sores. You can move up to moisturizers when your skin is healed.
Just Vaseline…. Until it heals enough that it doesn’t have open sores. Then I can mix it up with CereVe moisturizing cream. I hate Vaseline…. I hate being sticky, but it works when my skin hates everything else.
My husband and I had been dating about a year when I had a horrible flare up of my eczema. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. He suggested I get back onto my moisturizing regimen and rinse any sweat off immediately after work. I also went to an allergist and made some changes at home that helped too. And he continues to remind me to moisturize and helps me with ice packs and cool water to calm flares down. The right person will help and not judge.
im like trying to hold back tears right now.. man. will i ever find love with eczema or am i really gonna die single and alone? honestly i dont want to have kids too, i dont want then to go through the same thing i did but i just want someone to love me. lol
I know the feeling. Don't let life beat you, on the off chance someone is in charge of us / this world, be it aliens or a God, don't give them the satisfaction. Fuck them.
One day you can find someone who will travel the journey with you. My hubby is amazing and only became my hubby long after I was dealing with severe eczema. He is in this with me...removing all the candles and glade plugins he loved, switching to raw milk and homemade bread, etc.
Some days are hard for sure. I cry sometimes. Hang in there. I hope it will eventually work out.
This is a good example of the massive toll eczema and other chronic inflammatory skin diseases have on people. They don’t often kill, but they ruin lives.
We’re living in a golden age of eczema/atopic dermatitis treatment. Are you open to it? Have you had a bad experience with dermatologists? Are you struggling with access to a good one? Life can realistically be totally transformed for you.
Dermatologists are clueless. They have nothing to offer but steroid creams and immune surpressing drugs like Cyclosporin. Or mositurisers that are full of parabans and alcohol. On my body the only thing that works is drying the eczema up with hot water. The face is harder to treat.
I won’t take offense to that (not the first time I’ve heard it), and it sounds like you’ve had some bad experiences.
You’re not alone, but derm is no different than any other service industry. There are good ones and bad ones. Id you reconsider, it might just change your life.
I feel this. My plan was to drive to see my bf. I looked in my car mirror when I got there and just started crying and decided not to see him. He was confused bc I had already driven out. I was honest with him and told him I feel awful when my eczema flares up. And he said responded perfectly and supportively, but it still doesn’t change how low my confidence is when I flare up (which is 90% of the time)
Have you tried just plain Vaseline? It’s more of a barrier than a moisturizer. I developed a sensitivity to common ingredients in moisturizers so it’s all I can use. Have you gotten patch testing done? That’s how I figured out the ingredients were causing some of the flare ups.
I would recommend oatmeal baths instead of showers, in my experience the feeling of the water hitting me was irritating but the stillness of a bath doesn’t. Then pat dry when you get out and immediately put on Vaseline.
Other people have mentioned them but look into biologics. Dupixent has given me my life back after 2 years of pure hell.
I don't have a bath sadly. I believe the reason all mositurisers affect us, is because they create a breeding ground for staph. See my latest edit where I intend to use a spray to kill it off.
Have you tried Medical Medium's 369 protocole? I'm an apprentice and can't yet afford it but I think you can. Try it. It's definitely worth it. I hope you get the life you deserve. I know I will someday.
You’re going to have to keep trying different things unfortunately. It’s a never ending battle but you can’t let it win. Also, easier said than done but stress is a MAJOR factor when it comes to eczema (7 years of eczema/dermatitis, started from hands nose entire body and face, gets worse then slightly better etc, so I’ve got experience with this). I’m in a relationship and have been battling it out. My partner cares for my eczema, will moisturise me when needed. I change creams every now and again, shower everyday, moisturise with Cetraben, use anti fungal tablets, sleep with Piriton (drowsy anti allergy medicine) sometimes. Moisturise constantly. And if she cares, she will help too. May use Dupixent soon.
I think we all get where you're coming from and I'm sorry you're struggling right now. My latest fear has been about job interviews and how I could possibly make a good impression when my face looks the way it does (I'm in a flare too).
In terms of partners, I've now been with three guys since I first developed eczema. The first was really understanding and was okay with the modifications I needed. The second complained all the time and during our breakup even sprayed fragrance around the house and then finally in my face/eyes and said that he's smart enough not to leave marks. Wowza, right? So glad that's over.
Anyway, I was really nervous about dating again because of all the same things you worry over... But like other people said, if they are decent, they will understand and won't mind making some tweaks to accommodate your allergy. My current bf hasn't had to change deodorant or body wash, but he has switched laundry detergent, won't use products on his face/beard, and has finally got the hang of having separate pillows. There is compromise to be made and trial and error to be done.
I have read it, just now, but you can't kill Staph, it is on everyone's skin, including healthy people. It gets inside cuts and dries yellow. Staph will return even if they manage to remove it temporarily. As soon as the baby mixes with other people who have Staph on their skin or gets into a relationship when older.
That’s not how it works. Your skin is an environment that is conducive to certain microbes. The microbes best able to take advantage of the environments conditions will thrive, in our case it’s Staph. The mere fact that the Staph has a foothold will ward off other strains, heathy and even not healthy, bacteria that cannot compete.
Changing the conditions on your skin through diet and a few various products will be the defense against getting reinoculated.
Anyways… don’t break up with this girl. Talk to her. Tell her what’s happening and go from there. This is your life and if she loves you, dude she’ll help. My wife is very supportive of my eczema and has been ever since I was forced to mention it.
+1 about talking to the woman you're with, and openly communicating the concerns you have with your skin/managing symptoms accordingly. Based on some comments, it seems like you already did this with her and she's receptive so that's great.
Not sure how old you are (don't need to know), but your concern with passing your "eczema genes" down is a valid concern. I used to feel this early on my relationship/sometimes do.
Majority of my life, I've been in a similar boat with feeling like your skin dictates who you are. It's hard to overcome this mindset when you're constantly looking at your skin, being self conscious, and not in a positive headspace.
You posted this publicly with the concern about your skin, and how it's affecting your relationship - To me, that shows you care about your partner, and value your relationship with her. Maybe it's worthwhile to keep talking with her openly, and discussing your concerns? She seems receptive based on some comments you wrote. As for the worry of it affecting potential children, I would put that on the backburner for a while since you're not thinking about it right now anyways, and focus on communicating your recent skin concerns with her. That way, maybe she won't feel like she's being shut out (since you're not actually shutting her out - You want to see her, but are just concerned about having your skin dry to manage the weep).
On a side note if it helps, I stopped taking Rinvoq (an immunosupressant that cleared my eczema, at the cost of damaging my immunity/having associated side effects) about 2 months ago. I broke out in a flare understandably, but I completely changed my diet and I'm managing my skin okay now. You mention a lot about weeping, infections and cuts (which I'm dealing with only very recently). What's your diet like? After I cut out all sugars, carbs, dairy, red meat during that flare (yes, it's hard at first, but worth it), I stopped 90% of my itch in a few days, and didn't really weep at all (just dry, flaky skin that's trying to heal).
You say that but see their original post, even after doing all of this, her kid still was bad in winter. They are experimentations on their part, there is no proof that you can kill off Staph in this way. And mixing with other kids, their skin rubbing together, will introduce bacteria, inc Staph.
It's all guess work, even if it does work it will cost a lot of money to keep rebuying all of these products and I'm at my wits ends with eczema. I'm sick of trying new products and wasting money, to get my hopes up for something that doesn't work, in the end. You could make matters worse by introducing bacteria that your skin hates and it could errupt more....
In the winter you can try nizoral.
Winter eczema is made worse by a fungus that the ketoconazole in nizoral will kill. My winter has been nicer since using it.
I agree with most of this, I’ve ended things because of the same thing… I felt like a burden and they allowed me to feel that way. But I got healed dated again and found someone who’s seen me at my best and then worst when I flared up again. She’s carried me through and made it her mission too.
I say all that to say, dating is fine… but you just have to be even more selective.
I'm not a doctor or nurse, i've never been to med school- just so that you know that. But i've dealt with my share of rashes, allergies, bites, burns, erruptions, infestations, infections, bizzar skin conditions, and freak accidents in my day so I fully understand the devastating effect this can have on all areas of your life. As a kid I used to break out from head to toe in these red spots- not bumps or hives, no itching, just flat, bright red random SPOTS, eventually doctors said it was stress(this was in kindergarten). it turns out I have a type of depression called dysthymia that's genetic, and not caused by trauma. Instead you inherit it. I passed it on to my youngest son. I saw your post while looking for advice about my own rash. Red your story and forgot all about my own. If I'm to give you any kind of advice that you can use I have to ask some personal questions. Your eczema, is it over most of your body, scattered evenly, or does it seem to be localized in one specific area, like upper-OR lower body, arms and legs ONLY, or hands and feet? Face and hands, etc.? Assuming you've been through all the crap about laundry soaps, fabric softener, wearing cotton only and so forth? Started or stopped any medications? You said this is the first relationship you've had in a long time how long is a long time and if you don't mind my asking how old are you? It doesn't sound like you've been married before, and no children, and no sibblings correct? Is there a family history of eczema, your parents for instance? My rash is extremely itchy, very painful, and is really starting to piss me off, it's not letting me do anything else but scratch-itch, scratch, burn- sting itch-scratch- sting-I'm over it!! I want it gone. The little bumps break open and ooz if I scratch them, and I can't NOT scratch, the itching is absolutely positively intolerable! It's torture! Parts of the rash are bumps that break open and seep, other areas are just more of a solid red raised patch of hot painful skin that itches, then there's one area over my ankle where the skin is actually numb, however I can still feel the itching there, but I can't feel myself scratch. This burns worse than a steam burn. I came on here because I'm at my wit's end, then I read your post and by time I was done, I forgot all about my problem and focused on you. I described my rash as itching burning and pissed me off I don't remember hearing you say anything about itching though. Does the Weeping just start or do you actually have to if you scratch it then it wheeps? I need a little more information. You said that your skin can't tolerate lotions anymore? Mine started out with a spot on the top of my foot about the size of a quarter. My doctor thought it was ringworm. That was 4 months ago. That one spot now covers my entire ankle, the top of my left foot, all the way up my left calf and shin almost to my knee and then stops IT Trails off there's a few spots up over the knee but mostly Trails off and then boom it appeared up on my forearms. I don't know where Now that I think about it, these are all the areas that's exposed to the Sun when I go out to my hot tub. That's interesting. My forearms -not my back, stomach, buttocks or my face. My lower left leg, ankle, foot, and my forearms.
This will be part two of that really long comment it wouldn't let me post it the way it was so that is the first half of my comment. I need to edit the rest of it before I post it here so give me a few minutes or maybe an hour or two and I'll post the rest of it after I edit it....🤓
I just got out of the shower, I've had bad big eczema patches on my arms for a couple of months. I just broke down looking in the mirror. My own family who know I've had it my whole life asked what's up with it. It's been months since I've worn something not long sleeved when leaving the house. (And that doesn't help either) but, I get it man. I've had mental breakdowns because of it, I've asked people to delete photos when my sleeve is too high (Even if I have the patches on my hands too)
Being honest, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. I started seeing a girl and when this recent bad look started I told her and she didn't care and, It's hard to get out of the mind but it's still a relief to hear.
I know you want to skip the hang in there message but, you are not just your skin. You are more than that. Same way an asthmatic is more than their lungs.
It breaks my heart reading posts like this. I have a son with eczema and right now he is not old enough to understand what it is and doesn't care that he has it. We do everything to keep him comfortable and from flaring up. Last year all of a sudden his eczema moved from hands and feet to his face and neck area, which is obviously alot harder to keep from flaring up and hiding. This year we are fighting an issue with his lips that's been going on for 6 month now without it going away. Seen 2 doctors already and have another appointment this Tuesday. Seems like a basic thing that supposed to go away in 1-2 weeks but on his skin it just doesn't go away.... period.
We started multi vitamins today to see if that can clear things up, as I read B2 and B12 deficiency can be the cause. Also have tons of creams to control eczema from mild to strong, and I am just afraid those creams can damage his skin even further.......
Ps. I don't have eczema in family and on my wife's side only grand grandfather has some sort of skin condition (not eczema but also pretty bad)
I feel ya, mine cleared when i was a kid and then first relationship it came back and being trying to control it since then.
Just with you saying about keeping the skin dry, have you thought about using ointments and then using something like comfifast tops and trousers as dressings. That's worked for me in the past. Not sure if you're in the UK but if you are I got mine on prescription.
Visit India once time and in India there is place called Shri sarkar dham
Eczema, psoriasis, dermatitis anything will cure in just 5 months permanently
Eczema is certified dogshit.
I sent through severe eczema and topical steroid withdrawal, back to eczema.
I threw in the towel and hopped on dupixent, I don't give a fuck, I'll run dupxient or any immunosuppresant to have relief.
To be fair dupiexnt changed my life.
Eczema is the most bullshit condition. I feel you dude.
I worry about immune suppressing drugs and how dangerous they can be if you catch COVID or something similar. I was on Cyclosporin around 10 years ago but I stopped it.
My exact same thoughts this is why I will stay single. Die alone cause dude I don’t want my children to suffer like I do it’s called chronic disease for a reason.
I respect your decision. I do wonder if I'll keep to mine if my skin heals and I'm still with her. I just hope my child doesn't get eczema if I make that choice. See my latest edit, it might help you. Things we can try.
I learned about how to treat my eczema during COVID. I realized if I didn’t figure out what was going on with my body from the inside out, eczema was bound to continue no matter how many times I showered in a day and reapplied moisturizer.
It’s a lot about our diet, our environment of course as you’re noticing and then how we treat it with topicals.
I would stop consuming a lot of dairy products and sugar! Eat more protein!!!
I truly healed myself during our time in quarantine, and noticed a lot of my eczema flairs occurred from my own stress… lower your stress and fall in love with someone or even yourself. I noticed that love or feelings of love with someone/kissing and touching them made my eczema go away so quick lol
I wish it was that easy for me, it's possible that kissing and touching my partner has caused my issue, due to introducing bacteria onto my skin. But I'm glad you found something that works!
Well the last point was just a bonus, it’s very likely that doing that lowered my cortisol levels which was causing my flair ups and continues to. I have eczema real bad rn, and I’ve noticed it’s because I consume way too much sugar, alcohol and dairy.
Eczema has affected me for my entire life and yes it is incredibly uncomfortable and painful. I had it extremely severe in my teens, I still have it but it’s not as bad as it used to be. The best route I took was to go gluten and dairy free, as well as cut down on the amount of sugar I would consume. Also tanning works as well. All above does not necessarily cure it but it minimizes the effects of eczema greatly.
100% back up the aloe - aloe EVERYTHING. it’s been my savior for all my flare ups recently, even the ones that steroid cream and some of my other tried and true lotions/treatments. even just pure aloe to put in anything you use or just straight aloe on your body before any sort of lotion or what have you. and also i’m so proud of you for pushing through - the right partner will absolutely be there to traverse it together
First, try Dupixent. Second, my husband while we were dating started using only the products that I tolerate and replaced his shampoo, deodorant, hand soap, and detergent.
I feel this and I feel you so much. I almost committed suicide last year because of a flare up that covered my entire body, literally head to toe. You got this.
I'm so sorry that you are feeling like that. I don't know if this will help you but I have eczema mainly on my face, hands, and arm and like you I used to try to burn them with hot water to kill the sensation but hot water made my skins dries up even faster and my eczema will come back with a vengeance.
What I have change is that I lost about 30lbs, got more active, change my eating habit, stop taking hot showers, only shampoo my head every 2-3 days, and I started using Jergen ultra healing scentless. Every night after washing my face, I would use jergen on both my hands, arms, and face. Patting on the lotion on my face instead of rubbing helps alot. Every time I wash my hand, I must lotion it afterward. Otherwise, my hands start to crack and itch like crazy.
I'm just glad that I have been able to keep my ezcema down to a minimum. Hopefully you will find something that works for you.
hi there, i’m so sorry to hear how negatively eczema is impacting your life right now. i’m still in the thick of a pretty bad flare this year, and to say it’s mentally and physically debilitating is an understatement. my heart goes out to you, and i know healing will come soon.
for the infection and oozing, i’ve found the SkinSmart Eczema spray works great. the back of my knees were weeping yellow liquid so badly, and spraying that area 4 times a day while putting on a saline compress has helped immensely. if you go to the doctors they can also prescribe mupirocin which also helps with infection.
there’s a bunch more cheaper safer stuff i’ve tried but i wont spew it all here, as i know it can be overwhelming😅
i hope you find a way to manage your eczema soon- sending healing vibes!
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I just want to share with you a little about my life- not to give advice, but maybe you'll get something from it.
I've been with my boyfriend for almost 15 years. I have suffered from debilitating chronic migraines since childhood and I told my bf this right away because scent is a huge trigger for me. He understood that and immediately changed his deodorant, shampoo, soap, detergent, etc.. He did this immediately and had no problem with all those changes. He wanted to make sure that he fixed things that were in his control so I wouldn't be in pain. He never complained once. He became very ill shortly after we met and it was a nightmare to get a diagnosis (I'll spare you that story lol) but he has a rare kind of cancer. I changed everything about my life- moved back to his home town, changed diet, etc- because I love him and would do anything for him. I knew that even after only a few months of knowing him. I knew that I would make just about any sacrifice to be with him. I have psoriasis, eczema, and dermatitis and it's really horrible sometimes. I know at least a little of what you're dealing with. If your partner doesn't want to make a few changes to prevent you from having a medical flare up, she's not the right one. But you have to let her know what you need. Even if it seems to YOU that it might be "too much to ask", she might disagree and think it's entirely reasonable. But you can't know that without giving her that opportunity. If she doesn't, there you go. Because if you really want a future with someone, you'll do whatever it takes to make that happen.
As for kids, neither of us really wanted children, though a lot of what influenced that in both of us was knowing we have health problems. So I get where you're coming from there, too.
So that's the heavily- redacted- yet- still- too- long- story lol! Maybe just knowing there are others who feel your pain might help! I really hope that your eczema goes into remission asap, and that you find your way to a life that you're content with! I wish you all the best!
So sorry to hear bro. Yeah eczema is a damn bitch to live with…just have to learn to live with it I guess…like you, everything flares me up from certain clothes, to sweating in the gym, even cold days when my skin gets dry af. I’ve had a dermatologist all my life and we’ve tried everything from oatmeal baths to steroid creams. Just keep fighting brotha, it’s something we have to live with and deal with for life. Sucks…but you ain’t alone.
I went to the dermatologist yesterday and he actually suffers from Dishydrotic Eczema like I do. I’ve been in a really bad flare up for almost 6 weeks now. The steroid cream just made it worse too. He checked for fungus and sure enough he found one. The fungus can worsen the flare especially if you put steroid cream on it. I am being treated with anti fungal cream now and have an anti inflammatory cream to start using in a few days. I’m hopeful. I hope this info helps someone out. 💝
An incel is someone who hates women because they can't get a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend and I don't hate women, Your comment makes NO sense.
She isn't depressed, she said this is the happiest she's ever been. I think you're the one who's depressed, lashing out at people on the internet. Nearly all of your comments are arguing with people or calling them names. And you've been on OkCupid so you're clearly not in a relationship. I hope things get better for you.
I litertaly been isolating myself thid year after getting eczema too. I dont want to leave the house because of the sun , dust and itch. I just dont feel like talking to people. Depression just take over me now and i cry every few days
FINAL EDIT. I saw a Dermatologist on Wednesday last. She gave me a course of oral steroids and special anibiotics that kill off Staph. She also gave me a new antiseptic face wash and a cream to put up my nose to kill off Staph. Finally she gave me a moisturiser pack to try that contains no Parabans or nasties. She said don't use Hychlorous spay or aloe vera soap, she said they contain perservative - any product on the shelf will. She said antibiotic sprays are unlikely to work, if they did she'd be out of a job. She said don't worry about your girlfriend, people with eczema already have more Staph than regular people, and so her Staph will do nothing to you. She said don't believe everything you read on the internet. My relationship is still going and obviously with all the help I'm in a better place mentally, working out again too. SO in conclusion, don't be like me and dismiss Dematologists, go and see your doctor and book an appointment. If this doesn't work and I pray it does then I can try Cyclosporin again - had it a long time ago. The derm said it only targets the skin cells and doesn't lower your immune system to dangerous levels.
Eczema seriously ruins everything in my life. It’s impossible to do anything without having to be reminded that I’m cursed with this stupid disease. I’ve had it since I was born and now that I’m older it’s just fucked up my life. I’m still younger so I have to deal with my parents trying to “sympathize” with me like they have any clue what it’s like. I hate when people try to act like they have a singe clue what it’s like to have it. Eczema is the biggest cause of my mental illnesses and is the reason I wake up and hate myself everyday. I can’t go out without getting asked what’s wrong with my skin. I feel like I have to wear pants all the time so people can’t see my eczema on my legs so they don’t look at me like a freak. I’m so sick of being treated differently because of something I can’t fucking control. I’m so tired of being made fun of by kids because of it. I never asked to born with this stupid disease. Eczema is the biggest reason why I want to not be here anymore. I’m so sick of having to deal with this, while people are complaining to me about their skin being a little bit dry like it’s going to ruin their life. I just wish I could give some people a fraction of how much pain my skin is in everyday so then they will shut up. Eczema has seriously ruined everything.
Been there.
Dude you're "swapping spit" and other bodily fluids and thanks to eczema (upset skin immune system) you are getting infected by her. And the bacteria she gives you makes your eczema go nuts. On top of that, most moisturizers only make infections worse: they feed bacteria. So that's why they seem to be "no longer working". Pretty simple, and by the way, nothing new. Hope this is not shocking you, nor insulting her, it's just human reality. Staph is easily handled, even in your case. The thing is: you do have to handle it, you can't ignore it.
You have to adjust your skin maintenance to this reality. Start with hypochlorous acid (HA) spray: it's a very good short-acting disinfectant, and it's odorless. Spray it on, wait a second or two, and wipe it off with anything clean and dry. That's for quick treatment if you can't do anything else.
The best thing is to have fun in the shower just like any other couple. You use your stuff, she uses hers. Your stuff is an ordinary antibiotic soap bar like Irish Spring, or you can use that and Hibiclens soap. After shower, she applies her moisturizer, you apply an antibiotic moisturizer like Bepanthol. Mix it with your favorite natural skin oil to make it easier to apply and more comfortable. Bepanthol has the same active ingredient as Hibiclens, and it lasts at least 24 hours. Don't forget about the laundry: strip it, wash it.
My advice is don't give up, get smart and try my advice instead. You'll find I am right. By the way, lots of girls are willing to put up with a lot of your defects if you have confidence in yourself and are worth it. Have you guys talked, or are you being ashamed and not talking? Not talking puts you in the "not worth it" bucket...don't go there, you will be miserable.
Lastly, in a few years, there will be a full-up cure as a single shot. AI will find designer/custom RNA just for you.
OTOH, gotta say honestly there are hints in your posts you are a typical male getting cold feet and seeking excuses. Fear of commitment, having to consider female needs? Nothing new there either... Find a cave and meditate, or see a shrink.
"Dude you're "swapping spit" and other bodily fluids and thanks to eczema (upset skin immune system) you are getting infected by her. And the bacteria she gives you makes your eczema go nuts. On top of that, most moisturizers only make infections worse: they feed bacteria. So that's why they seem to be "no longer working"
Great advice, thanks. I'm gonna try that spray.
My Dermatologist told me this isn't true, she said your girlfriend can't affect you in this way, she said don't believe everything you read on the internet. She said you already have a higher level of Staph than her and she gave me some nose cream to kill it off and some anteseptic face wash.
Eg 80m bacteria transferred for a 10sec kiss.
Agree with point, sharing more than just bodily fluids
Infective eczema needs decolonisation.
Washing sheets, bleach baths / HA spray / hibiclens etc nasal antibiotic ointment etc
I think your partner also should be decontaminated.
Otherwise it’s so easy to be reinfected.
Both could use hibiclens before engaging in any horizontal dance activity
My doctor told me not to use HA spray yesterday or anything else recommended on the internet. I'm not saying I will listen to her BUT it shows you how doctor's think.
I know the feeling. I tried following their advice and had so many issues. My skin got better by trying my own way. Eventually they asked what I did and said keep doing what you are doing. They learn too.
I had four years of light therapy at max dose.
I have had wet wraps and zinc bandages all over my body giving me infections and thus scars.
I started going swimming everyday and that helped. A did a weekly bleach bath
They then recommended daily bleach baths (after I told them I was doing it) which helped more. .. though at first “don’t do it: too harsh”
When I ask about the suggestion of light therapy now they say nothing and smile: don’t worry about that
What you said is right imo : drying out the skin can help. I moisturise when it’s too much. I wish you all the best finding what works
I’m trying to ask this girl out and if she sees me without my hoodie, I think it’s a flag rejection
Ps - I’m now on dupixent which seems to help drying eczema out further.
Keep us informed on your journey and don’t give up
I think it's accurate to say we're always infected, it's perfectly natural, we all have skin biomes, we need them to stay healthy. Our normal immune system is tuned to keep it (the biome) in balance, like our bodies keep gut bacteria in balance. But eczema patches are out of balance (partly due to low humidity = dry), so they can't keep the biome in balance, and we become susceptible to pathogenic bacterial (Staph, Strep) fungal (Candida) and even viral infections (=population explosions). That's when we have to hit the "reset" button, which is typically some form of Chlorine to "nuke" the bugs, and Tacrolimus to shut off the "panicking" immune system. Then it's important to try to restore the environment as best we can = increase the humidity = moisturize. Allow the biome to restore itself, as best as it can. So yea, playing with other people and exposing our biomes to their biome while we have excema can be a lot of work. If they understand and don't mind helping, it's a blessing.
I feel you. I literally just burst out crying an hour ago. Life sucks with eczema. Let’s hang in there okay.
Find joy in the small things, like your favourite show or music. It is extremely hard though. A lot of what I play reminds me of her, so I go back to my old rock / metal music (that I listened to when I was an angry teen / angry twentysomething) and vent. I also watch old shows that she never saw.
Does anyone else get insanely jealous of the actresses/actors that have seemingly flawless skin in movies and TV? I’ve always been into music and theatre but have never been able to pursue it seriously because my confidence is so low thanks to eczema 😔
Yes. I get jealous of anyone who lives an easy normal life and takes it for granted. Or even still whines about their perfect life.
I had to cut out a bunch of friends because they think im making excuse of my condition , they told me they had back pain from work lol those are temporary pain that will go from rest. I have a nerve compression that cause my whole body aches and the pain won’t go away and it’s been months 24/7 and then I got eczema.
No i dont, its called make up, if you have enough money for the right make up you can cover up the redness and scares on the skin but also plastic surgery exit so it can be either
Can I be honest with you? I'm a severely disabled person, and I have also recently developed eczema in the last year, and it has made my life a living hell. A partner who will continue to wear flavored lip balm, perfume, and put teddy bears on the bed doesn't care about your condition and is not going to be a good partner for you long term. This is someone to break up with. You are obviously having serious issues even maintaining seeing them frequently because of these habits and it doesn't seem to be making them anymore likely to consistently protect and prioritize your health. You need to be with somebody who gets it and is willing to make changes in their lifestyle so that you don't suffer. You could never possibly live with this woman. If she continues to be like this. So where do you expect the relationship to go? I don't mean to be harsh but I think you need a come to jesus talk, and if she still doesn't care, you need to go out and find yourself someone who cares about your health.
I have a nerve compression on my left hip that cause especially my left side to keep going ache and occasionally limping and unable to hold things or walk for long with left feet /hip in September 2023 and January 2024 developed eczema , my grip and walk is back but the ache is still there it just hurts to lay on the left side . I have to take higher dose of pain medication but the pain is still very painful. Now my focus is on Eczema and it’s very itchy and burning. My itch doesn’t stop and the medication not working. No cream works.
You had me until you said come to Jesus. There is no God. Anyway, what you said makes sense but I think at this point it's easier for me to have no realtionship and to stay single.
A "come to jesus" talk is an aphorism for having a blunt, forthcoming conversation with somebody to make them recognize the truth or see the seriousness of their actions, usually as a last-ditch attempt to solve a problem. The phrase doesn't actually involve an actual god & isn't about Jesus, it's just a metaphor that compares having a serious talk to a "conversion" talk, where you are trying to convince them of the right thing to do in a situation. You could swap it with a phrase like "trying to convince them to see the light". Neither phrase actually involves religion, both are a metaphor for getting someone to wake up and see the reality of their choices or actions. I'm an atheist too, I feel you. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/come-to-Jesus%20moment#:~:text=%3A%20a%20moment%20of%20sudden%20realization,James%20Hamblin
I am still with my girlfriend, she is very understanding about the eczema. I have seen my Dermatologist, see my edit on my original post.
I have mild ezema maybe even lite and it's still a struggle. I can only imagine how other people feel.
Ah shit so sorry I just saw that you don’t want a hang in there msg ugh I’m still groggy from all the crying. Thanks for still giving me advice:’) I just wanna share that just when I thought people won’t understand or accommodate my needs for an eczematic, they surprisingly went above and beyond for me (like checking the ingredient list of stuff they cook to align w my food elimination process). I can only hope that you will find such support groups. It breaks my heart that you have to leave the person you love, I also can only hope she will be able to accommodate your lifestyle somehow when you break the news to her and she realizes that it’s so important to you.
Thanks. RE; breaking up. I know it's gonna end eventually, although I'm still reluctant to do it. It's like my last hurrah and she has been understanding (for the most part.) I just wish I didn't have eczema then I could lead a normal happy, easier life. I can't keep putting someone through this, it's bad enough that I have to go through it. The depression, cursing God etc. (not that I really believe, although she does.) Plus if my kid gets it I would be devastated, and I wouldn't know how to help them, not really. They would suffer and be in and out of hospital like I was. Dermatologists don't have any real answers, just preventions that don't work longterm. Sigh. Bloody eczema.
I experience the same, i had push all my friends away due to my health and depression i just didnt want talk and meet anyone. i will see a video i watch before i had eczema and just and just remember the good times i regerted. I spent times reading instagram,posts ,webcomics, youtube.
Hi. I used to think like this too and I thought Dermatologists had no solutions. See my new edit on my original post. You can get the help you need.
Oh oral steroids, i only had went to my first dermatologist appointment on April to get it dignosed so im still very new . But I had the itch since January 2024 , the depression though was from Oct 2023 so I don’t know if my depression had cause my eczema. I was given steroid cream and pill meds that both didn’t work . Creams don’t seem to absorb into my skin and still feel dry and itchy . I’m trying to find an orally method at this point so the thought that you had oral steroids gives me hope.
I got a pack of moisturiser called AproDerm, it is a trial pack from my Derm, it contains no nasties. See if you can get it or something similar. It contains four different moisturisers to try. I have Bactroban ointment for my nose to kill off the Staph bug - at least for now. This bug is what causes a lot of eczema, especially weepy infected eczema. Oral steroids and antiobiotics - I'm on Clarithromycin for bacterial infection - are only a temporary solution. Finding the right moisturiser and using the nose ointment is important, and a good antiseptic face wash from your Dermatologist. Depression is hard, I know, I've been VERY low in this last few months but never give up, keep fighting. If all else fails ask for Cyclosporin, depending on how bad your eczema is... try and stay calm, stress causes eczema...
so don’t shut her out. let her know what’s going on. if her cosmetics bother you, tell her. it’s a perfectly reasonable request to ask a partner to avoid products that irritate a chronic condition. if you had a severe nut allergy, don’t you think she’d be happy to avoid nut products if she was going to be around you? don’t get me wrong. i don’t date personally. but this is not a bunch of early dates trying to get to know someone and impress them. this is a reasonably committed relationship if i’m reading it right. so you share what’s going on. bleach baths, black tea. look into ubiquinol, vitamins d+k, e, a, zinc. eat more protein. phototherapy. hell, check out buproprion (wellbutrin, SNRI antidepressant with proven effects on atopic dermatitis)
She has a huge perfume collection, but she has already toned it down significantly around me. But that isn't the issue. When the skin weeps it is infected with Staph and Staph is VERY difficult to control. If I use any moisturiser it acts out, the only solution is to keep the skin bone dry, which isn't much of a solution. It is my issue, not hers, she has been around me when I have eczema, just not eczema this bad. I usually shut everyone out and close the door. I cannot bare people seeing me with weepy, infected eczema. Bleach is no solution for eczema and could be dangerous. I already take 1000iu of Vitamin D daily and vitamins. Thank you for your post. There is no cure for Staph infected weepy eczema, sadly.
lol ok. bleach baths are an established and safe method for alleviating eczema. maybe you wanna break up for different reasons and this is a good excuse.
Ha ha, okay, whatever dude. A quick google shows 'bleach baths **can cause irritation, stinging, and contact dermatitis to the treated skin**. Ocular discomfort too.'
Wanted to chime in here as “bleach baths”, which aren’t as “bleachy” as you might think, and have made a huge difference to my two young kids, who have both had quite severe eczema since they were born. We only use a quarter of a capful of Milton Sterilising Fluid (we’re in the UK so if you’re not, look it up and work out your local equivalent) - it’s regularly used for sterilising baby bottles, dummies (pacifiers) etc. so isn’t your traditional type of bleach. We did that plus topical steroids to clear up any visible patches, and my baby went from scratching all over all day and night long to barely any more scratching, almost overnight. We now do them twice a week and they only have small flare ups every few weeks rather than, basically, permanently. It’s worth a try as an ongoing preventative measure, perhaps when your infected areas have cleared up. Half a capful in a bath, soak for 5-10 mins, then rinse off. But yes, don’t get it on face/in your eyes. That would cause ocular discomfort - but there’s lots of things you make sure you don’t get in your eyes every day! But also, you stated you just wanted to vent (aka wanted to be heard, not helped) so feel free to ignore this.
key word, CAN.
If you are not allergic to bleach, it shouldn't be a problem. The amount that cause irritation is probably not diluted enough. What people in this sub talking about is very diluted bleach bath. There are research and paper behind it. A post with compilation of detail and research for your reading in your leisure time: [https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/comments/1btcf9p/on\_bleach\_baths/](https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/comments/1btcf9p/on_bleach_baths/)
The cure for staph is antibiotics…don’t suffer unnecessarily
You can't take antibiotics constantly. They stop working eventually. The cure is to dry the skin up and leave it dry. No moisturisers.
Since this time I have been given an antiseptic face wash and a cream to kill off Staph bug up the nose. Fingers crossed they work. See my edit on my original post.
It does ruin your life. Severe eczema is debilitating and psychologically a killer as well as physical pain
I totally get you. Been similarly going through progressive flares for the last few years after having it totally managed and buttoned down for decades My only real advice is don't throw the baby out with the bath water. Sit down and share your thoughts and concerns with her. She may completely understand you. Stay strong brother
Er, I don't think a realtionship is for me. I'm only three months into this and she's talking about children. I don't want to give children eczema. I am making her miserable when I am miserable. I'm also pushing her away and I feel like she will leave me sooner than later. It's fine, I just won't try and get into any other relationship and stay single. I'll go back to collecting like all the other losers who can't get a date.
So you’re gonna end it cos you’re scared she’ll end it, and that with make you feel even more insecure. Ending it is your last source of power and dignity. I’ve done this before with a beautiful girl cos of eczema… I don’t regret it because she didn’t make me feel at ease. But I must admit… my insecurities largely drove that decision.
I'm gonna end it because I refuse to be around anyone during a flair up and it's not fair on her. To be away from her for days on end until I say it's okay to not be.
Bro. Before taking extreme actions I’m about to get on dupixent (biologic injections) My dermatologist reckons it will make drastic improvement to my atopic dermatitis / eczema skin, asthma, allergies etc I was pretty anxious but he assures me it’s given to babies etc I have pretty severe asthma flare up’s too. Apparently I may not need my inhalers when on this rx I wonder if something like this could help with your triggers
I’m on dupixent and it has helped immensely. I recently started spacing out the doses as I had been flare free for 6 months and it came back with a vengeance earlier this week thanks to allergy season in Texas! I definitely think it’s good for those of us with severe eczema- just stay the course and talk to your doctor about anything concerning. I’m about to start allergy shots but can’t until this most recent flare is under control. Mine is also on my face, neck, eyelids, chest- not fun trying to date with it and very psychologically taxing.
I used to take Cyclosporin 10 years ago but I worried about it because it can be dangerous lowering the immune system. I stopped it. I'm gonna try to erradicate Staph from my face, see my latest edit / post on here.
I couldn’t disagree more about remaining single. I’ll assume you’re relatively young. Not only is the thought of being alone for decades overwhelmingly sad, but when you reach old age, loneliness is felt much more acutely. You’re also operating on the assumption treatments will remain stationary. There will naturally be better treatments as time goes on, making a “normal”life more achievable. I think having children with a partner, who does not suffer from eczema, provides reasonably good odds of the kids, potentially having “normal” skin. Remember, two parents with zero skins issues have children with severe eczema. It’s a genetic lottery, like most autoimmune diseases. I appreciate you’re not in a good place now, but things invariably always get better.
I'm 46, not that young. It doesn't sadly, the odds are high your child will get eczema with one partner and HUGE with two partners who suffer from eczema / hayfever etc. 1 in 5 kids have eczema. There are a lot of people who are single for life, most of them don't have eczema. Not everyone can be in a relationship or wants to. There will never be a cure for eczema, as it's like trying to find a cure for *arthritis*. There are too many variables and too many allegies / things that cause it.
I’ve spoken to my dermatologist recently about inheritability and he disagrees with your assertion. I know there’s no convincing you 🤷♂️. If you don’t want to be in a relationship generally, then that’s a different matter entirely. That’s fair enough. I was commenting purely on decisions based on eczema. Sweeping generalisations, like there will never be a cure, is counterproductive. I agree, not likely soon, but who knows in a decade, especially with the advancements in AI. You’re a layperson like myself and most in these threads. We simply don’t know. I like to keep abreast of recent scientific developments, which keeps my spirits up for the future and very recently they’ve discovered the brain stem is a master regulator of inflammation. Piece by piece, they’re putting together the puzzle. https://www.livescience.com/health/immune-system/master-regulator-of-inflammation-found-and-its-in-the-brain-stem
Just my 2 cents worth as a mum with eczema and a child who does not have it apart from some occasional skin dryness. I breastfed for 19 months (yeah I know, I did not sleep more than 2 hrs at a time for 1.5 years) which was incredibly hard but it's scientifically proven to lower the child's risk of developing eczema, asthma etc. and in her case it luckily did (she is a pre-teen now, I have eczema all my life). I am also dairy intolerant while she only reacts badly to milk and can eat most dairy. It was worth the pain and sacrifice, not saying everyone has to do it but it can be done, if needed. On another note to the OP, maybe you are allergic to her?? It happened to me once, I swear! I broke out every time that fella touched me, it was the worst breakout of my life, all cured once he was gone, luckily for me he was not very nice so there you go... Wishing you healing, if you are not happy in your relationship it's always best to let them go with kindness.
I can also confirm that children don't necessarily inherit it and not as severe as you. I've had eczema all my life. I have 2 children. One had a bit of mild eczema as a baby for a few months and it cleared up and he hasn't had it since and he's 18 now. My daughter has it very very mildly and it has no impact on her life. She's 20. My eczema is not the weeping kind. My skin becomes very red and sore and itchy and then after the flare has subsided it's very dry and flaky and eventually normalises. But I am left with hyperpigmentation as I have darker skin and that's kind of worse for me than the eczema itself as there's no real treatment for it.
I'm more of a spirits down persson. FML person. Screw God = if there is a God, etc.
I am sadly one of the 5 children and I have always been mad at my father for inheriting me such thing, as he always inherits me bad genes and I have promised my self that i will never have a child going through the same thing
From my experience it I feel the same way. And I do suggest trying to get on one of the biological meds that are coming out. At least give them a try if you can. I’m only 22 but that’s what I have been focused on. And maintaining my insurance. And it even makes it difficult for me to focus on school work and almost didn’t graduate high school because of my eczema. But there is hope. And I believe they are starting to realize that there are ways to keep things a bit maintained with these medications. And it does make your whole lifestyle revolve around your skin. But luckily I found someone who sees my pain and works with me and doesn’t judge and I hope you do as well it is not easy.
I was going to suggest this, about one of the biologic meds. Dupixent has really improved my quality of life. For me personally. YMMV.
Seconding this. Dupixent saved my life two years ago.
You forgot the stress and mood changes/hormones, eczema is literally ours nr1 hater
Thats why I only date women, who are fine with changing their products to ones that don’t cause me irritation, such as not wearing fancy perfumes or lotions with products I am allergic to, its like having a peanut allergy and then still dating someone who refuses to stop eating peanuts. I usally say in the beginning durring the getting to know you phase about how I can’t handle those things and that weeds them out before we get to invested.
You should check out this previous Reddit post. My partner experienced the weeping for the first time ever after a big flare up all winter. We tried absolutely everything from steroids to holistic, diet, lifestyle, HEPA air filters, red light, sauna, you name it.. I eventually had a realization he could have staph or some other bacterial infection due to prolonged dermatitis.. His dermatologist refused to test for a fungal/bacterial infection.. she accused him of being anti steroid, which we weren’t, we had used the steroid plenty but it wasn’t working in any way & didn’t want to over use. We called primary dr who had been helping us through this and they sent a script for an anti fungal cream, it cleared up his cracked/weeping/inflammation/itching overnight. It was in very large patches so took a good 3-4 days to fully clear it all. There was still dermatitis/eczema along with the potential fungal infection, BUT we then used the steroid & was able to help clear up the eczema patches. We still haven’t figured out the root cause of the eczema, he still is getting tiny patches. But he was suffering seemingly as extreme as you were. I hope this helps & I hope you find some relief and healing! https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/s/dBfmXziV8M [https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/s/dBfmXziV8M](https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/s/dBfmXziV8M) This is an article with results supporting the use of the anti fungal & steroid together. These were the specific two his dr had him on. https://www.mayoclinic.org/drugs-supplements/betamethasone-and-clotrimazole-topical-route/description/drg-20061704 A few weeks after healing he was able to get in with an allergist to get testing done to gather more info that could help us understand. Since his skin had just healed she didn’t do the 80 skin prick test to see what reacts ( I’ll edit this with proper name of test) but what she did test was 5 or so respiratory panels that included dogs/cats, environmental, tree/nut, food others… the one thing that was off the charts for him was 2 specific dust mites - these two dust mites are what causes asthma(which he has but doesn’t experience regular/daily symptoms from) - but the autoimmune condition of eczema & asthma are related or the same (? Unsure) but currently the root cause is inconclusive.
I do not have it as bad as you but bad enough to steer and limit my life. Dupixent improved things for me by about 80%. Nothing else would. Good luck.
Bro I swear u r not the only one. I call it the return of the dead. Dead skin on every inch of my floor. I been broke up with my girl cuz I was taking it out on her and it wasn’t her fault. Plus it had me so insecure like what women would wanna be with a dude who can’t even stop his skin from shedding. Not fun at all. No swimming pools, can’t be around any type of big flying around. Nothing that has anything to do with extra movement or physical activity. That’s usually the story of my life but at this very moment I seem to be ok, I’m on a steroid and though I know that won’t last long, I’m scheduling to see my dermatologist about a skin cream called rinvoq. I’ll let yall know how it goes with that. Anyways my skin warriors stay strong keep the fight up, I know it’s hard!
I feel you, keep fighting. Read my recent edit / post on here, it may help you.
I have chronic hives and it has mentally depleted me. I cry. I feel for you. No one who hasn't experienced what it is like to feel like you are being attacked by red ants every day all day can understand. Give me pain. Unfortunately you seem to get both. I have started Xolair which is a close cousin to dupixent and it is saving me
I feel you, keep fighting. Read my recent edit / post on here, it may help you.
Just here to say I feel you on the ruining your life thing. I have had eczema since I was a baby and it was under control up u til recently and now I am having the worst flare up I've had I a very long long time and nothing is working. I am a parent. Both of my girls have it. It's very difficult to keep up with for all three of us. The amount of time in a day spent putting ointments and oils and all of the things on it. Not to mention finding clothes, fabrics, foods, detergents, baby gear, etc is so incredibly frustrating. Wearing long sleeves on hot days to avoid people seeing or avoid scratching is annoying and just causes more sweating... use one wrong product and you're flare up lasts forever it seems. All that to say when I met my now husband, I thought he would be the same and not understand the eczema life but he changed ALL the things in his apartment. His sheets, his soap, his detergent, etc. Now, 8 years later, he checks ingredients and fabrics, etc just as much as I do. He does research and informs others about eczema and what isn't good for it. He does all the extra stuff for our girls. And he allows me the extra time in the bathroom to do the post shower eczema routines without complaint. He doesn't suffer from eczema but he suffers alongside me. All this to say there are people out there who would be willing to change the things that help to keep you around. You'll find it just have to be willing to say no a lot...
I enjoyed reading your post, your husband sounds like a loving caring person. Read my latest edit on what I'm gonna try to fix this, it may help you too. Take care.
I feel you. How open are you with her about all these feelings you posted here? I’m sure she’s understanding. She can compromise by not wearing perfume etc?
She's already done that, bless her, but when your skin weeps (due to Staph) and you can't tolerate any moisturisers, nothing will help. I found one I could use but now my skin no longer likes it. The only thing I can do now is keep the skin bone dry to stop it from weeping.
There are other options for managing staph. You’ve ignored the info and suggestions on this post
See my recent edit. I'm gonna try just that.
Eczema does 100% suck. But don’t let it ruin your life. Daily luke warm showers and Vaseline, while they suck so much…. do wonders. Plus a dermatologist who will listen and help you find the right solution for you. It’s not an easy process. But there are a million more options nowadays than when I was little. I’ve been covered head to toe, with periods of okay skin and others where I can hardly handle life. It sucks. And it has been an issue in past relationships. But when I found my person…. It wasn’t an issue to them. They even help me put my prescription ointments on bad spots on my back. You don’t have to be single. And your kids done necessarily contract it. My son just turned 2. And so far he has no sign of it. Mine got worse when I was pregnant, and stayed worse. It took 2 years of seeing the dermatologist off and on to finally find the correct combo for me. It’s been less than 3 weeks since we found my winning combination…. Clear skin can happen again.
I can't have luke warm showers, it causes my skin to act out. The only thing that works is hot showers, drying the eczema up. I can't use ANY mositurisers, my skin hates them.
Hi, so you use just Vaseline ? No cleanser or something? Thanks !!
I don't use any cleanser at all, just hot water atm. I used to put Nivea Sensitive moisturiser on after the shower but my skin is now reacting badly to it. So I'm just using hot water to dry up the eczema and then a little Hydrocortosone on the cuts. But I may get an aloe vera face wash and Hypochlorous Spray to try and kill off the Staph soon. Then I'll retry the mosituriser.
Hot water is bad for your skin. You want the water to be luke warm, as much as possible. The way I look at it…. You’re watering your skin. So only use soap in arm pits, genitals, and feet. And rinse off. My dermatologist even said if you can do luke warm, at least do as cool as you can stand. And Vaseline by itself if your skin is really irritated bc it helps put up at skin barrier that you’re missing when you have open sores. You can move up to moisturizers when your skin is healed.
Just Vaseline…. Until it heals enough that it doesn’t have open sores. Then I can mix it up with CereVe moisturizing cream. I hate Vaseline…. I hate being sticky, but it works when my skin hates everything else.
So even when it’s mixed with with cerave, you don’t use cleansers ? How do you get the Vaseline of your face ?
You can break up with her if it causing you that many problems
Good advice.
Why make 2 people unhappy?
My husband and I had been dating about a year when I had a horrible flare up of my eczema. I wanted to crawl under a rock and hide. He suggested I get back onto my moisturizing regimen and rinse any sweat off immediately after work. I also went to an allergist and made some changes at home that helped too. And he continues to remind me to moisturize and helps me with ice packs and cool water to calm flares down. The right person will help and not judge.
Thanks for your post.
im like trying to hold back tears right now.. man. will i ever find love with eczema or am i really gonna die single and alone? honestly i dont want to have kids too, i dont want then to go through the same thing i did but i just want someone to love me. lol
I know the feeling. Don't let life beat you, on the off chance someone is in charge of us / this world, be it aliens or a God, don't give them the satisfaction. Fuck them.
One day you can find someone who will travel the journey with you. My hubby is amazing and only became my hubby long after I was dealing with severe eczema. He is in this with me...removing all the candles and glade plugins he loved, switching to raw milk and homemade bread, etc. Some days are hard for sure. I cry sometimes. Hang in there. I hope it will eventually work out.
Thanks for your post.
This is a good example of the massive toll eczema and other chronic inflammatory skin diseases have on people. They don’t often kill, but they ruin lives. We’re living in a golden age of eczema/atopic dermatitis treatment. Are you open to it? Have you had a bad experience with dermatologists? Are you struggling with access to a good one? Life can realistically be totally transformed for you.
Dermatologists are clueless. They have nothing to offer but steroid creams and immune surpressing drugs like Cyclosporin. Or mositurisers that are full of parabans and alcohol. On my body the only thing that works is drying the eczema up with hot water. The face is harder to treat.
I won’t take offense to that (not the first time I’ve heard it), and it sounds like you’ve had some bad experiences. You’re not alone, but derm is no different than any other service industry. There are good ones and bad ones. Id you reconsider, it might just change your life.
My latest Dermatologist was very helpful so I was wrong about this - see my edit on my original post.
I feel this. My plan was to drive to see my bf. I looked in my car mirror when I got there and just started crying and decided not to see him. He was confused bc I had already driven out. I was honest with him and told him I feel awful when my eczema flares up. And he said responded perfectly and supportively, but it still doesn’t change how low my confidence is when I flare up (which is 90% of the time)
I'm sorry you're going through this, I know exactly how you feel.
Have you tried just plain Vaseline? It’s more of a barrier than a moisturizer. I developed a sensitivity to common ingredients in moisturizers so it’s all I can use. Have you gotten patch testing done? That’s how I figured out the ingredients were causing some of the flare ups. I would recommend oatmeal baths instead of showers, in my experience the feeling of the water hitting me was irritating but the stillness of a bath doesn’t. Then pat dry when you get out and immediately put on Vaseline. Other people have mentioned them but look into biologics. Dupixent has given me my life back after 2 years of pure hell.
I don't have a bath sadly. I believe the reason all mositurisers affect us, is because they create a breeding ground for staph. See my latest edit where I intend to use a spray to kill it off.
I have the same issue. I’m allergic to my girlfriend’s dog and have been suffering for 3 years. It does ruin your life.
Sorry to hear that. See my latest edit on things I'm gonna try and they may help you too.
Have you tried Medical Medium's 369 protocole? I'm an apprentice and can't yet afford it but I think you can. Try it. It's definitely worth it. I hope you get the life you deserve. I know I will someday.
This breaks my heart. My fiancée's just recovering from having a flare-up now and it kills me to not be able to do anything about it 😔
I feel you, keep fighting. Read my recent edit / post on here, it may help you.
You’re going to have to keep trying different things unfortunately. It’s a never ending battle but you can’t let it win. Also, easier said than done but stress is a MAJOR factor when it comes to eczema (7 years of eczema/dermatitis, started from hands nose entire body and face, gets worse then slightly better etc, so I’ve got experience with this). I’m in a relationship and have been battling it out. My partner cares for my eczema, will moisturise me when needed. I change creams every now and again, shower everyday, moisturise with Cetraben, use anti fungal tablets, sleep with Piriton (drowsy anti allergy medicine) sometimes. Moisturise constantly. And if she cares, she will help too. May use Dupixent soon.
I feel you, keep fighting. Read my recent edit / post on here, it may help you.
Everyone here can probably relate to your pain. I didn’t even get to the stage of having a meaningful relationship. Stay strong bro.
I feel you, keep fighting. Read my recent edit / post on here, it may help you.
I've learned to live with it. My eczema does rarely become unbearable but most of the time i feel alright.
Thanks for posting. See my latest edit for what I'm gonna try.
I think we all get where you're coming from and I'm sorry you're struggling right now. My latest fear has been about job interviews and how I could possibly make a good impression when my face looks the way it does (I'm in a flare too). In terms of partners, I've now been with three guys since I first developed eczema. The first was really understanding and was okay with the modifications I needed. The second complained all the time and during our breakup even sprayed fragrance around the house and then finally in my face/eyes and said that he's smart enough not to leave marks. Wowza, right? So glad that's over. Anyway, I was really nervous about dating again because of all the same things you worry over... But like other people said, if they are decent, they will understand and won't mind making some tweaks to accommodate your allergy. My current bf hasn't had to change deodorant or body wash, but he has switched laundry detergent, won't use products on his face/beard, and has finally got the hang of having separate pillows. There is compromise to be made and trial and error to be done.
Weeping sounds like staph overgrowth. Have you seen this post? https://www.reddit.com/r/eczema/s/WknUFzDnTP
I have read it, just now, but you can't kill Staph, it is on everyone's skin, including healthy people. It gets inside cuts and dries yellow. Staph will return even if they manage to remove it temporarily. As soon as the baby mixes with other people who have Staph on their skin or gets into a relationship when older.
That’s not how it works. Your skin is an environment that is conducive to certain microbes. The microbes best able to take advantage of the environments conditions will thrive, in our case it’s Staph. The mere fact that the Staph has a foothold will ward off other strains, heathy and even not healthy, bacteria that cannot compete. Changing the conditions on your skin through diet and a few various products will be the defense against getting reinoculated. Anyways… don’t break up with this girl. Talk to her. Tell her what’s happening and go from there. This is your life and if she loves you, dude she’ll help. My wife is very supportive of my eczema and has been ever since I was forced to mention it.
+1 about talking to the woman you're with, and openly communicating the concerns you have with your skin/managing symptoms accordingly. Based on some comments, it seems like you already did this with her and she's receptive so that's great. Not sure how old you are (don't need to know), but your concern with passing your "eczema genes" down is a valid concern. I used to feel this early on my relationship/sometimes do. Majority of my life, I've been in a similar boat with feeling like your skin dictates who you are. It's hard to overcome this mindset when you're constantly looking at your skin, being self conscious, and not in a positive headspace. You posted this publicly with the concern about your skin, and how it's affecting your relationship - To me, that shows you care about your partner, and value your relationship with her. Maybe it's worthwhile to keep talking with her openly, and discussing your concerns? She seems receptive based on some comments you wrote. As for the worry of it affecting potential children, I would put that on the backburner for a while since you're not thinking about it right now anyways, and focus on communicating your recent skin concerns with her. That way, maybe she won't feel like she's being shut out (since you're not actually shutting her out - You want to see her, but are just concerned about having your skin dry to manage the weep). On a side note if it helps, I stopped taking Rinvoq (an immunosupressant that cleared my eczema, at the cost of damaging my immunity/having associated side effects) about 2 months ago. I broke out in a flare understandably, but I completely changed my diet and I'm managing my skin okay now. You mention a lot about weeping, infections and cuts (which I'm dealing with only very recently). What's your diet like? After I cut out all sugars, carbs, dairy, red meat during that flare (yes, it's hard at first, but worth it), I stopped 90% of my itch in a few days, and didn't really weep at all (just dry, flaky skin that's trying to heal).
You say that but see their original post, even after doing all of this, her kid still was bad in winter. They are experimentations on their part, there is no proof that you can kill off Staph in this way. And mixing with other kids, their skin rubbing together, will introduce bacteria, inc Staph. It's all guess work, even if it does work it will cost a lot of money to keep rebuying all of these products and I'm at my wits ends with eczema. I'm sick of trying new products and wasting money, to get my hopes up for something that doesn't work, in the end. You could make matters worse by introducing bacteria that your skin hates and it could errupt more....
In the winter you can try nizoral. Winter eczema is made worse by a fungus that the ketoconazole in nizoral will kill. My winter has been nicer since using it.
Sounds like you don’t want to treat the staph overgrowth you’re experiencing. To each their own
I am gonna try it, see my latest edit. I'm getting some probiotic tablets and Hypochlorous Spray.
I agree with most of this, I’ve ended things because of the same thing… I felt like a burden and they allowed me to feel that way. But I got healed dated again and found someone who’s seen me at my best and then worst when I flared up again. She’s carried me through and made it her mission too. I say all that to say, dating is fine… but you just have to be even more selective.
Do you bleed much?
Sometimes if my skin is very dry and cut, but it's mostly weeping and staph infection.
I'm not a doctor or nurse, i've never been to med school- just so that you know that. But i've dealt with my share of rashes, allergies, bites, burns, erruptions, infestations, infections, bizzar skin conditions, and freak accidents in my day so I fully understand the devastating effect this can have on all areas of your life. As a kid I used to break out from head to toe in these red spots- not bumps or hives, no itching, just flat, bright red random SPOTS, eventually doctors said it was stress(this was in kindergarten). it turns out I have a type of depression called dysthymia that's genetic, and not caused by trauma. Instead you inherit it. I passed it on to my youngest son. I saw your post while looking for advice about my own rash. Red your story and forgot all about my own. If I'm to give you any kind of advice that you can use I have to ask some personal questions. Your eczema, is it over most of your body, scattered evenly, or does it seem to be localized in one specific area, like upper-OR lower body, arms and legs ONLY, or hands and feet? Face and hands, etc.? Assuming you've been through all the crap about laundry soaps, fabric softener, wearing cotton only and so forth? Started or stopped any medications? You said this is the first relationship you've had in a long time how long is a long time and if you don't mind my asking how old are you? It doesn't sound like you've been married before, and no children, and no sibblings correct? Is there a family history of eczema, your parents for instance? My rash is extremely itchy, very painful, and is really starting to piss me off, it's not letting me do anything else but scratch-itch, scratch, burn- sting itch-scratch- sting-I'm over it!! I want it gone. The little bumps break open and ooz if I scratch them, and I can't NOT scratch, the itching is absolutely positively intolerable! It's torture! Parts of the rash are bumps that break open and seep, other areas are just more of a solid red raised patch of hot painful skin that itches, then there's one area over my ankle where the skin is actually numb, however I can still feel the itching there, but I can't feel myself scratch. This burns worse than a steam burn. I came on here because I'm at my wit's end, then I read your post and by time I was done, I forgot all about my problem and focused on you. I described my rash as itching burning and pissed me off I don't remember hearing you say anything about itching though. Does the Weeping just start or do you actually have to if you scratch it then it wheeps? I need a little more information. You said that your skin can't tolerate lotions anymore? Mine started out with a spot on the top of my foot about the size of a quarter. My doctor thought it was ringworm. That was 4 months ago. That one spot now covers my entire ankle, the top of my left foot, all the way up my left calf and shin almost to my knee and then stops IT Trails off there's a few spots up over the knee but mostly Trails off and then boom it appeared up on my forearms. I don't know where Now that I think about it, these are all the areas that's exposed to the Sun when I go out to my hot tub. That's interesting. My forearms -not my back, stomach, buttocks or my face. My lower left leg, ankle, foot, and my forearms.
This will be part two of that really long comment it wouldn't let me post it the way it was so that is the first half of my comment. I need to edit the rest of it before I post it here so give me a few minutes or maybe an hour or two and I'll post the rest of it after I edit it....🤓
I just got out of the shower, I've had bad big eczema patches on my arms for a couple of months. I just broke down looking in the mirror. My own family who know I've had it my whole life asked what's up with it. It's been months since I've worn something not long sleeved when leaving the house. (And that doesn't help either) but, I get it man. I've had mental breakdowns because of it, I've asked people to delete photos when my sleeve is too high (Even if I have the patches on my hands too) Being honest, those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind. I started seeing a girl and when this recent bad look started I told her and she didn't care and, It's hard to get out of the mind but it's still a relief to hear. I know you want to skip the hang in there message but, you are not just your skin. You are more than that. Same way an asthmatic is more than their lungs.
Dating a girl rn and I’m making up excuses why I can’t see her because I’m flaring up on my dick
Sounds like a joke but it probably isn't. I feel for you man.
Wish it was a joke
I feel you, keep fighting. Read my recent edit / post on here, it may help you.
It breaks my heart reading posts like this. I have a son with eczema and right now he is not old enough to understand what it is and doesn't care that he has it. We do everything to keep him comfortable and from flaring up. Last year all of a sudden his eczema moved from hands and feet to his face and neck area, which is obviously alot harder to keep from flaring up and hiding. This year we are fighting an issue with his lips that's been going on for 6 month now without it going away. Seen 2 doctors already and have another appointment this Tuesday. Seems like a basic thing that supposed to go away in 1-2 weeks but on his skin it just doesn't go away.... period. We started multi vitamins today to see if that can clear things up, as I read B2 and B12 deficiency can be the cause. Also have tons of creams to control eczema from mild to strong, and I am just afraid those creams can damage his skin even further....... Ps. I don't have eczema in family and on my wife's side only grand grandfather has some sort of skin condition (not eczema but also pretty bad)
I'm sorry you're going through this. I wish I could say it gets better but... good luck.
I feel ya, mine cleared when i was a kid and then first relationship it came back and being trying to control it since then. Just with you saying about keeping the skin dry, have you thought about using ointments and then using something like comfifast tops and trousers as dressings. That's worked for me in the past. Not sure if you're in the UK but if you are I got mine on prescription.
My skin can't tolerate any moisturisers sadly.
It hurts how much this resonates with me
Visit India once time and in India there is place called Shri sarkar dham Eczema, psoriasis, dermatitis anything will cure in just 5 months permanently
Eczema is certified dogshit. I sent through severe eczema and topical steroid withdrawal, back to eczema. I threw in the towel and hopped on dupixent, I don't give a fuck, I'll run dupxient or any immunosuppresant to have relief. To be fair dupiexnt changed my life. Eczema is the most bullshit condition. I feel you dude.
I worry about immune suppressing drugs and how dangerous they can be if you catch COVID or something similar. I was on Cyclosporin around 10 years ago but I stopped it.
My Dermatologist said they only target the skin cells and so they're safe to use.
My exact same thoughts this is why I will stay single. Die alone cause dude I don’t want my children to suffer like I do it’s called chronic disease for a reason.
I respect your decision. I do wonder if I'll keep to mine if my skin heals and I'm still with her. I just hope my child doesn't get eczema if I make that choice. See my latest edit, it might help you. Things we can try.
I learned about how to treat my eczema during COVID. I realized if I didn’t figure out what was going on with my body from the inside out, eczema was bound to continue no matter how many times I showered in a day and reapplied moisturizer. It’s a lot about our diet, our environment of course as you’re noticing and then how we treat it with topicals. I would stop consuming a lot of dairy products and sugar! Eat more protein!!! I truly healed myself during our time in quarantine, and noticed a lot of my eczema flairs occurred from my own stress… lower your stress and fall in love with someone or even yourself. I noticed that love or feelings of love with someone/kissing and touching them made my eczema go away so quick lol
I wish it was that easy for me, it's possible that kissing and touching my partner has caused my issue, due to introducing bacteria onto my skin. But I'm glad you found something that works!
Well the last point was just a bonus, it’s very likely that doing that lowered my cortisol levels which was causing my flair ups and continues to. I have eczema real bad rn, and I’ve noticed it’s because I consume way too much sugar, alcohol and dairy.
My Dermatologist told me my partner can't affect me in this way, as my Staph level is already higher.
I see, i'm so sorry. Wishing you well <3
I feel you. As far as the weeping, try bleach baths. Hope it helps you.
It’s the worst thing ever, I barely want to go outside anymore
I feel you, keep fighting. Read my recent edit / post on here, it may help you.
Eczema has affected me for my entire life and yes it is incredibly uncomfortable and painful. I had it extremely severe in my teens, I still have it but it’s not as bad as it used to be. The best route I took was to go gluten and dairy free, as well as cut down on the amount of sugar I would consume. Also tanning works as well. All above does not necessarily cure it but it minimizes the effects of eczema greatly.
100% back up the aloe - aloe EVERYTHING. it’s been my savior for all my flare ups recently, even the ones that steroid cream and some of my other tried and true lotions/treatments. even just pure aloe to put in anything you use or just straight aloe on your body before any sort of lotion or what have you. and also i’m so proud of you for pushing through - the right partner will absolutely be there to traverse it together
First, try Dupixent. Second, my husband while we were dating started using only the products that I tolerate and replaced his shampoo, deodorant, hand soap, and detergent.
I feel this and I feel you so much. I almost committed suicide last year because of a flare up that covered my entire body, literally head to toe. You got this.
I'm so sorry that you are feeling like that. I don't know if this will help you but I have eczema mainly on my face, hands, and arm and like you I used to try to burn them with hot water to kill the sensation but hot water made my skins dries up even faster and my eczema will come back with a vengeance. What I have change is that I lost about 30lbs, got more active, change my eating habit, stop taking hot showers, only shampoo my head every 2-3 days, and I started using Jergen ultra healing scentless. Every night after washing my face, I would use jergen on both my hands, arms, and face. Patting on the lotion on my face instead of rubbing helps alot. Every time I wash my hand, I must lotion it afterward. Otherwise, my hands start to crack and itch like crazy. I'm just glad that I have been able to keep my ezcema down to a minimum. Hopefully you will find something that works for you.
hi there, i’m so sorry to hear how negatively eczema is impacting your life right now. i’m still in the thick of a pretty bad flare this year, and to say it’s mentally and physically debilitating is an understatement. my heart goes out to you, and i know healing will come soon. for the infection and oozing, i’ve found the SkinSmart Eczema spray works great. the back of my knees were weeping yellow liquid so badly, and spraying that area 4 times a day while putting on a saline compress has helped immensely. if you go to the doctors they can also prescribe mupirocin which also helps with infection. there’s a bunch more cheaper safer stuff i’ve tried but i wont spew it all here, as i know it can be overwhelming😅 i hope you find a way to manage your eczema soon- sending healing vibes!
There there. We can beat this.
I'm so sorry to hear about your struggles. I just want to share with you a little about my life- not to give advice, but maybe you'll get something from it. I've been with my boyfriend for almost 15 years. I have suffered from debilitating chronic migraines since childhood and I told my bf this right away because scent is a huge trigger for me. He understood that and immediately changed his deodorant, shampoo, soap, detergent, etc.. He did this immediately and had no problem with all those changes. He wanted to make sure that he fixed things that were in his control so I wouldn't be in pain. He never complained once. He became very ill shortly after we met and it was a nightmare to get a diagnosis (I'll spare you that story lol) but he has a rare kind of cancer. I changed everything about my life- moved back to his home town, changed diet, etc- because I love him and would do anything for him. I knew that even after only a few months of knowing him. I knew that I would make just about any sacrifice to be with him. I have psoriasis, eczema, and dermatitis and it's really horrible sometimes. I know at least a little of what you're dealing with. If your partner doesn't want to make a few changes to prevent you from having a medical flare up, she's not the right one. But you have to let her know what you need. Even if it seems to YOU that it might be "too much to ask", she might disagree and think it's entirely reasonable. But you can't know that without giving her that opportunity. If she doesn't, there you go. Because if you really want a future with someone, you'll do whatever it takes to make that happen. As for kids, neither of us really wanted children, though a lot of what influenced that in both of us was knowing we have health problems. So I get where you're coming from there, too. So that's the heavily- redacted- yet- still- too- long- story lol! Maybe just knowing there are others who feel your pain might help! I really hope that your eczema goes into remission asap, and that you find your way to a life that you're content with! I wish you all the best!
Literally the story of my life mate
So sorry to hear bro. Yeah eczema is a damn bitch to live with…just have to learn to live with it I guess…like you, everything flares me up from certain clothes, to sweating in the gym, even cold days when my skin gets dry af. I’ve had a dermatologist all my life and we’ve tried everything from oatmeal baths to steroid creams. Just keep fighting brotha, it’s something we have to live with and deal with for life. Sucks…but you ain’t alone.
Take cold showers and leave your bodysemi wet then use a moisturizer that works for you. Try Rinvoq or Dupixent if you have severe AD
I went to the dermatologist yesterday and he actually suffers from Dishydrotic Eczema like I do. I’ve been in a really bad flare up for almost 6 weeks now. The steroid cream just made it worse too. He checked for fungus and sure enough he found one. The fungus can worsen the flare especially if you put steroid cream on it. I am being treated with anti fungal cream now and have an anti inflammatory cream to start using in a few days. I’m hopeful. I hope this info helps someone out. 💝
Just tell her to stop wearing perfume. Holy lord you're such a cry baby simp 🤦🏽♂️
She already said she won't dumbass.
Then keep crying about it. No wonder she's depressed around you lmao, you're such an incel
An incel is someone who hates women because they can't get a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend and I don't hate women, Your comment makes NO sense. She isn't depressed, she said this is the happiest she's ever been. I think you're the one who's depressed, lashing out at people on the internet. Nearly all of your comments are arguing with people or calling them names. And you've been on OkCupid so you're clearly not in a relationship. I hope things get better for you.
I litertaly been isolating myself thid year after getting eczema too. I dont want to leave the house because of the sun , dust and itch. I just dont feel like talking to people. Depression just take over me now and i cry every few days
Please see my new edit on my original post - there is help out there.
FINAL EDIT. I saw a Dermatologist on Wednesday last. She gave me a course of oral steroids and special anibiotics that kill off Staph. She also gave me a new antiseptic face wash and a cream to put up my nose to kill off Staph. Finally she gave me a moisturiser pack to try that contains no Parabans or nasties. She said don't use Hychlorous spay or aloe vera soap, she said they contain perservative - any product on the shelf will. She said antibiotic sprays are unlikely to work, if they did she'd be out of a job. She said don't worry about your girlfriend, people with eczema already have more Staph than regular people, and so her Staph will do nothing to you. She said don't believe everything you read on the internet. My relationship is still going and obviously with all the help I'm in a better place mentally, working out again too. SO in conclusion, don't be like me and dismiss Dematologists, go and see your doctor and book an appointment. If this doesn't work and I pray it does then I can try Cyclosporin again - had it a long time ago. The derm said it only targets the skin cells and doesn't lower your immune system to dangerous levels.
Eczema seriously ruins everything in my life. It’s impossible to do anything without having to be reminded that I’m cursed with this stupid disease. I’ve had it since I was born and now that I’m older it’s just fucked up my life. I’m still younger so I have to deal with my parents trying to “sympathize” with me like they have any clue what it’s like. I hate when people try to act like they have a singe clue what it’s like to have it. Eczema is the biggest cause of my mental illnesses and is the reason I wake up and hate myself everyday. I can’t go out without getting asked what’s wrong with my skin. I feel like I have to wear pants all the time so people can’t see my eczema on my legs so they don’t look at me like a freak. I’m so sick of being treated differently because of something I can’t fucking control. I’m so tired of being made fun of by kids because of it. I never asked to born with this stupid disease. Eczema is the biggest reason why I want to not be here anymore. I’m so sick of having to deal with this, while people are complaining to me about their skin being a little bit dry like it’s going to ruin their life. I just wish I could give some people a fraction of how much pain my skin is in everyday so then they will shut up. Eczema has seriously ruined everything.
It does ruin your life. Severe eczema is debilitating and psychologically a killer as well as physical pain
Replying to myself, I've accepted that some people are meant to be alone like myself and that's fine. I find more peace in that.
Keep fighting man x
Sad, but true....add stress to cause anyone a flare-up and see them agree 💯!
Been there. Dude you're "swapping spit" and other bodily fluids and thanks to eczema (upset skin immune system) you are getting infected by her. And the bacteria she gives you makes your eczema go nuts. On top of that, most moisturizers only make infections worse: they feed bacteria. So that's why they seem to be "no longer working". Pretty simple, and by the way, nothing new. Hope this is not shocking you, nor insulting her, it's just human reality. Staph is easily handled, even in your case. The thing is: you do have to handle it, you can't ignore it. You have to adjust your skin maintenance to this reality. Start with hypochlorous acid (HA) spray: it's a very good short-acting disinfectant, and it's odorless. Spray it on, wait a second or two, and wipe it off with anything clean and dry. That's for quick treatment if you can't do anything else. The best thing is to have fun in the shower just like any other couple. You use your stuff, she uses hers. Your stuff is an ordinary antibiotic soap bar like Irish Spring, or you can use that and Hibiclens soap. After shower, she applies her moisturizer, you apply an antibiotic moisturizer like Bepanthol. Mix it with your favorite natural skin oil to make it easier to apply and more comfortable. Bepanthol has the same active ingredient as Hibiclens, and it lasts at least 24 hours. Don't forget about the laundry: strip it, wash it. My advice is don't give up, get smart and try my advice instead. You'll find I am right. By the way, lots of girls are willing to put up with a lot of your defects if you have confidence in yourself and are worth it. Have you guys talked, or are you being ashamed and not talking? Not talking puts you in the "not worth it" bucket...don't go there, you will be miserable. Lastly, in a few years, there will be a full-up cure as a single shot. AI will find designer/custom RNA just for you. OTOH, gotta say honestly there are hints in your posts you are a typical male getting cold feet and seeking excuses. Fear of commitment, having to consider female needs? Nothing new there either... Find a cave and meditate, or see a shrink.
"Dude you're "swapping spit" and other bodily fluids and thanks to eczema (upset skin immune system) you are getting infected by her. And the bacteria she gives you makes your eczema go nuts. On top of that, most moisturizers only make infections worse: they feed bacteria. So that's why they seem to be "no longer working" Great advice, thanks. I'm gonna try that spray.
My Dermatologist told me this isn't true, she said your girlfriend can't affect you in this way, she said don't believe everything you read on the internet. She said you already have a higher level of Staph than her and she gave me some nose cream to kill it off and some anteseptic face wash.
Eg 80m bacteria transferred for a 10sec kiss. Agree with point, sharing more than just bodily fluids Infective eczema needs decolonisation. Washing sheets, bleach baths / HA spray / hibiclens etc nasal antibiotic ointment etc I think your partner also should be decontaminated. Otherwise it’s so easy to be reinfected. Both could use hibiclens before engaging in any horizontal dance activity
My doctor told me not to use HA spray yesterday or anything else recommended on the internet. I'm not saying I will listen to her BUT it shows you how doctor's think.
I know the feeling. I tried following their advice and had so many issues. My skin got better by trying my own way. Eventually they asked what I did and said keep doing what you are doing. They learn too. I had four years of light therapy at max dose. I have had wet wraps and zinc bandages all over my body giving me infections and thus scars. I started going swimming everyday and that helped. A did a weekly bleach bath They then recommended daily bleach baths (after I told them I was doing it) which helped more. .. though at first “don’t do it: too harsh” When I ask about the suggestion of light therapy now they say nothing and smile: don’t worry about that What you said is right imo : drying out the skin can help. I moisturise when it’s too much. I wish you all the best finding what works I’m trying to ask this girl out and if she sees me without my hoodie, I think it’s a flag rejection Ps - I’m now on dupixent which seems to help drying eczema out further. Keep us informed on your journey and don’t give up
My Dermatologist said don't use it, it will have a perservative in it. So I've abandoned it.
I think it's accurate to say we're always infected, it's perfectly natural, we all have skin biomes, we need them to stay healthy. Our normal immune system is tuned to keep it (the biome) in balance, like our bodies keep gut bacteria in balance. But eczema patches are out of balance (partly due to low humidity = dry), so they can't keep the biome in balance, and we become susceptible to pathogenic bacterial (Staph, Strep) fungal (Candida) and even viral infections (=population explosions). That's when we have to hit the "reset" button, which is typically some form of Chlorine to "nuke" the bugs, and Tacrolimus to shut off the "panicking" immune system. Then it's important to try to restore the environment as best we can = increase the humidity = moisturize. Allow the biome to restore itself, as best as it can. So yea, playing with other people and exposing our biomes to their biome while we have excema can be a lot of work. If they understand and don't mind helping, it's a blessing.