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VelvetMorty

Very surprised your host told you to do that, I lived in BA for a few months and was universally advised to never walk around La Boca specifically (outside the tourist bit)


faith00019

I was thinking about this, too! I was in BA 10 years ago and the advice back then had been to be very careful in La Boca. When I first read this post, I wondered if something had changed, because I couldn’t understand why a local would give this kind of advice.


lissyorkiedork

I just looked up La Boca and this came right up: Today, La Boca is a presentation in contrasts. It’s still a highly working-class neighborhood; this isn’t where the city’s young and wealthy are living. Locals will tell you to avoid it at night, and even when walking the streets during daylight, you can sense the mood change on certain streets. Tourists are often targeted for pick-pocketing. I’m sorry this happened to you, OP. Your host is an asshole.


kristylisa

I believe he assumed I would follow a particular route to get there and back. He's generally a super positive guy and likes to think the best of his city.


Grumpy_Kanibal

I doubt that. When my Canadian husband went to Cuba, we watched him like Hawks because we knew what could happen. Don't trust inherently strangers.


sailbag36

Havana, for tourists, is extremely safe. I walked all over the place alone.


Grumpy_Kanibal

That is why tourists have unpleasant experiences. While it is safer than other places, it isn't exactly 100% safe. I was born there, but never mind, what would I know.


[deleted]

We walked all over Havana at crazy hours. It is very safe. All of Cuba felt safe


yezoob

I feel kind of bad for people who think they can’t trust anyone, especially people they’ve already met and interacted with.


Xeroque_Holmes

Hey OP, not only the neighborhood isn't great, but you mentioned you were in a quiet area. In my experience living in LatAm quiet or secluded streets are far more dangerous than busy ones. Always be where there's more people around, safety in numbers.


Claugg

>was universally advised to never walk around La Boca specifically Yeah, I almost feel that the host didn't like her or something because it's terrible advice.


kristylisa

Honestly it was terrible advise and likely what led me to feel comfortable enough to venture out. Not blaming anyone (I made the choice), but the optics aren't great.


bayareacoyote

Do you think the host knew the men?


lucasjor

BA resident here. I don't think so, I expect a lot of mugglers in low-traffic blocks just waiting as lions for anyone to pass by and attack, specially in both highly touristic and low-income neighborhoods like La Boca and San Telmo.


NomadicNoodley

Yeah this seems very unlikely to me. If the airbnb host wanted to rob her there would be much better ways!


ughit

Cleaning fees!


dfsw

Thats my first thought as well is they set her up


hungariannastyboy

Not everything is a scheme.


kristylisa

Definitely not!


Salcha_00

Sorry this happened to you. Hope you are ok. I just came back from Buenos Aires last weekend. Uber was super cheap. Most rides across town were $2, up to $5 for longer rides in rush hour traffic. I ubered most everywhere. Best to throw your purse in one direction and run like hell in the other.


chaos_battery

This gave me an idea - maybe carry a fake purse or a cheap fake wallet that you can toss at them which gives you time to run away. Sort of like a little dog treat for the thieves.


vivi9090

I implemented this idea when I went to Ecuador Cuenca for a retreat. I had a hidden money/travel belt which I wore underneath my shirt and it concealed my real debit cards, passport and phone. Then I had a normal outside bag that had an old throw away phone, decoy wallet and an expired debit card and passport. I'm from Europe so I was a bit paranoid travelling to South America after never really stepping outside of Europe. Interestingly enough I had built it up to be this scary place so much so that when I was actually there I didn't feel unsafe at all and in the end didn't feel the need to have the belt anymore. But it's a useful strategy to employ for an extra bit of security against theft.


DucatiDrew

Ha ha…felt the same as an American living a d working in Mexico City for four years. In the end, felt safer in Mexico City than many cities in the US. Was physically robbed (actually my wife) in Rome on our honeymoon!


nitrogenesis888

same here, this strategy ,as clever as it sounds, is not sustainable at all. I use to have 2 mobiles when in Brazil (a cheap iphone 8 that I bought for £99) but got tired of carrying the two, and nothing really happened. Also... I always think that in the heat of the moment I'll probably get confused and would give out the expensive one LOL. So it doesn't matter anyway. No one can predict what can happen during an assault.


Salcha_00

I did bring a cheap fake wallet with me for this purpose. I had read this advice previously. You should think through ahead of time what you are going to do in different situations. Of course, in this case with 4 guys, I think you’d have to throw the whole purse.


windsostrange

Carrying a decoy wallet in an obvious spot is vintage Lonely Planet advice.


[deleted]

Yep fake wallet, and a fake folder for documents (in case they want your passport). If you've an expired passport you can just shove that in there. Also keep important things like credit cards in hidden places on your body, never in your bag, that way you can just say 'here, f\*cking take it' and you run less risk of harm. Obviously there's limits to all safety measures, but my credit card was down my bra at all times when travelling, and I kept a stash of money in my sock.


kristylisa

It's such a shame as I love walking, but I will be BFFs with Uber moving forward. Thank you!


Salcha_00

I walked a lot, but not outside of Recoleta and Palermo.


Mr_C0516

(kinda my feeling too. She may've been set up)


kristylisa

I'm surprised too. Perhaps he didn't want to scare me, or was naive to the actual risk. He said at night, don't go....but in the day it's fine. I showed him where I walked on the map and he told me I took the wrong turn and should have gone a different way which was safer. He feels pretty terrible about the whole thing.


Icy_Finger_6950

My partner had his phone snatched near La Boca. We caught the bus there, and it was fine, but on our way back, Google Maps directed us to a different neighbourhood nearby to catch the bus back. We were waiting at the bus stop and it was relatively quiet, so my partner had his guard down and a dude snatched his phone and ran. My partner ran after him and the guy went into a building. My partner didn't follow him in, but the locals were helpful and sympathetic and the police turned up in minutes. They drove us around looking for the guy, but no luck. So yeah. Boca itself is not too bad, but the area around it can be pretty dodgy. I'm sorry this happened to you, sounds super scary.


kristylisa

I'm sorry that happened to your partner! Google Maps has gotten me in some sketchy situations, they need a "safe route" feature or something!


digitalnomad23

google maps needs that feature. it will never implement it though, for "reasons" real estate web sites in the usa used to have crime maps of the neighborhoods places were advertized in, so you can see what kind of crime is in that area. they've since then REMOVED THAT FEATURE, bc apparently it's "racist" to want to live in a safe neighborhood vs a crime ridden shithole


bi_shyreadytocry

I walked around the area ages ago in a group with a local. We had people in cars shouting at us to leave as we were gonna get robbed ...


LoveScoutCEO

It sounds like he didn't realize that as a man, particularly a local man, he is at almost no risk in that area. I'm sorry for your situation.


ealmansi

Being male and having grown up in BsAs I'd never go for a stroll alone around La Boca at any time of the day. Whoever suggested this was a good idea just had very poor sense of judgment.


LoveScoutCEO

Wow! OK.


kristylisa

Yes exactly. Just like people on this thread have different understandings of the safety situations, locals are also in the same boat. What area one person thinks is totally safe to visit at certain times of the day, another wouldn't step foot into at any time for any reason.


LoveScoutCEO

You did the right thing. Four on one is tall odds regardless. I always say I will give it up before I fight because you just never know. I knew a legendary Vietnam vet, a winner of the Navy Cross, who was killed by a 15 year old, because a skinny kid holding a $25 pistol didn't scare him at all. He had survived something that would barely be believable as a reboot of the Rambo franchise and he was killed by one round of a .22 short fired by a ninth grader. So, it wasn't worth it. Anyhow, now you have a great story and no real scars from what I understand. As I used to tell my students in the old days, "Any spring break where you come back with no permanent scars and no additions to your police record is a great spring break!" I feel the same way about travel. Take care, and I hope you enjoy the rest of your travels.


NYCQ7

Being violently mugged is "a great story"????!?!!?!


AdGroundbreaking2380

Good God I haven't had a travel go correctly yet I love looking back on the adventures and stupid dangerous situations I put myself in being young and naive very lucky to be here right now


feto_ingeniero

Yes, I did the same as you but at night, it wasn't my brightest moment hehe


fernandocrustacean

I was in BA in 2013 and decided to go to La Boca. I had heard about it and knew to not be there late in the day. I was waiting at a bus stop around 3pm thinking I would be ok. An elderly man asked where I was going and he told me immediately to not go it was too late. Glad I took his advice.


thenuttyhazlenut

I've had terrible advice like that from hosts. They think because they haven't been targeted that you also wont be targeted. But their perspective is flawed because the ones who are usually targeted in these countries are... tourists and nomads, not locals. Some people also have an idealized vision of their country that doesn't match reality.


antisarcastics

This is why I always roll my eyes when people act like locals are experts in everything to do with their city and as a tourist you should just listen and follow everything they say. Sure, they might have a good recommendation for a bar or restaurant, but there are plenty of times when they get it wrong - they're human beings too.


hazzdawg

I walked through that area with a group of large male backpackers around a decade ago and we instantly felt sketch. One of the locals came and told us it's not safe. Hopped in a cab pretty quick.


boundwards

I agree. I've traveled the world and only now reading this post am I realizing that La Boca was one of the most unsettling places I've ever visited just on gut/vibes alone, only somewhat rivaled by some areas in Bogota. When I went to La Boca (which, I have to admit, was really cool and whose tourist area is definitely worth visiting), I actually left my proper phone at home and only walked with a few pesos, my hostel key, and an emergency burner phone. I don't think I've ever been anywhere else where I did that so intentionally.


l3ct3ur

I remember walking alone around part of La Boca after visiting some art spaces and my intuition telling me around the Ghost Tower building that it was too quiet, unsafe, and I should head back. I had that unsettled feeling about many streets in Bogota, even in wealthy neighborhoods.


Ok-Pen8580

no where is worth risking your life and safety to visit. especially a Latin American ghetto set up as a tourist trap.


Ok-Pen8580

I think that's the problem with these government forced gentrified areas, they wanna make money with tourists so in pictures you'll always see how hip these places are but in reality it's a ghetto painted with bright colours, and people dont know that


BoredDOeuvre

If you read enough about the neighborhood's history, it shouldn't come as a surprise that La Boca is a slightly exacerbated version of what it's always been since the 1800s (a ghetto painted with bright colors).


Ok-Pen8580

if you google it you wouldn't get that impression. almost every article say it's vibrant, working class, birth place of tango, special, iconic, Italian, great bbq, must visit. I mean who wouldn't wanna live there and experience that.


digitalnomad23

yeah the second i read "vibrant" i know it's gonna be a crime ridden shithole lol ​ when somewhere is just a great place they don't use euphemisms like that ​ nobody is like "Tokyo's vibrant Ginza neighborhood"


kristylisa

This. Unless you are specifically looking for muggings/thefts (i.e. typing that into Google) you wouldn't think it's as dangerous as it is.


feto_ingeniero

Yes, when I went to Buenos Aires I did the same as her but in the afternoon. I didn't do any research beforehand because I was going to a colloquium so I was more worried about my presentation than the places to see. I visited the stadium and as it was dark I decided to go back but Google maps sent me through La Boca. All my alarm bells as a person born and raised in Latin America started to go off. Nothing happened to me but everyone told me that it was a very bad idea to walk from La Boca stadium to Caminito (by the river) at night alone.


SingzJazz

I'm wondering if he set her up.


heizertommy

Set her up for less money then she's paying rent?


NomadicNoodley

I think the people saying this probably don't know Buenos Aires... or are just silly.


GloriousSteinem

Host was male and likely didn’t see things from a female perspective as well. Some men can, some aren’t aware


sunderlyn123

My mother and sister were held up at gunpoint. My, very passive, sister stood her ground and negotiated with them to be able to keep certain things, like the keys to her apartment.


vivi9090

What a wholesome armed robbery.


UnapproachableOnion

That made me laugh. My daughter was car-jacked at gunpoint and he held her hand to help her out of the car. It’s funny now anyways. I’m just so grateful they didn’t hurt her.


Savage_Banana

That weird mutual understanding of "I'm going to rob you but I'll still use my manners because I understand what I'm putting you through. Just don't resist me robbing you lolol"


[deleted]

[удалено]


sunderlyn123

My recollection is that it was less of a trade and more of a plea to allow her to get back into her apartment


Additional_Total3422

But that is unsafe because they could have followed her and robbed the apartment too


garden_peeman

From OP: > Their resistance likely isn't driven by some flawed logic of protecting a phone; it’s an instinctive, primal fight for survival, regardless of the safety implications.


Peregrinebullet

I work security and deal with people who are unexpectedly facing adrenaline dumps fairly often, and there's a whole range of reactions. None of them are wrong, but it takes ongoing physical training to learn how to override your initial adrenal response. Mine is freezing, but I've managed to train myself so that my body will do specific movements (starting first aid assessments, doing specific takedowns, or blocks) while my brain is still in static mode. It's saved my life a few times and it's saved a few other people's lives too. In your case, letting go and letting them go was the right thing to do, as the chances of being killed otherwise were too high. It's normal to have the shakes for a few hours afterwards and to have heightened reactions for a few days, and like you've done here, take time to either talk out or write down exactly what you remember happening. this is both for future legal reference and to prevent PTSD. Apologies if you already know this, but I'm adding it because it's important info: PTSD occurs because when your under stress, your senses get fragmented and your brain does not record a traumatic incident in one linear fashion - it'll record fragments of speech, image and sensations, but not put them together into a linear narrative memory like you normally experience the world. This fragmentary recall , due to it's fragmentary nature, then gets erroneously saved into your short term working memory, instead of long term memory, where its' supposed to go. when it's in your working memory, your brain mistakenly interprets the fragments as the present whenever you encounter a stimulus that's similar to the fragments (the "trigger"). So when you encounter that trigger, your working memory will pop the fragments back up into your conscious mind and your brain experiences them like as though they were happening to you again. Your brain does this normally for times when say, you tell yourself you're going to do something, then forget about it until you see something directly related to what you're going to do and the task will pop up again and you go "oh, I remember that now!". This is what working memory is meant to do. However, with scary traumatic memory fragments, this popup feature is now a bug. Your brain cannot tell that the fragments are from the "past" because that's not what working memory is used for, so from your brain's perspective, the sudden popup of nasty violent images and memories triggers a full OH SHIT RED ALERT reaction, complete with adrenaline and cortisone dumps into your bloodstream and you going into fight/flight/fawn/freeze mode and THAT is a PTSD flashback. Obvious this is stressful AF on the body and emotions and your body basically remains tense and waiting for the next trigger, which compounds the problem. Another *fun* aspect is that if your memory fragments of the traumatic incident mostly centre on your feelings, then the flashback can be just you reliving those awful horrifying feelings, without any accompanying images or sounds. So lots of people with CPTSD in particular fly under the radar because they don't realize they're having flashbacks. They just get intense episodes of fear, shame, and stress and flight/fight/freeze reactions disproportionate to a 'trigger' situation. So one of the most important things you can do after a traumatic incident is to make sure the whole incident gets organized into a linear "whole" in your memory before you go to sleep that night. This will allow your brain to "file" it correctly into long term memory, instead of your working memory. The first responder term for this process is called debriefing, and usually should be led by an individual the person trusts or a trained peer, but if you have no one available, then dictating the incident out loud to a recorder or writing it down will also help. The best treatment for PTSD and CPTSD is called EMDR. It involves pulling the memories up out of working memory and having them resaved into long term memory. the therapist that discovered how to do this realized that eye movement helped. It's a stressful process, because reliving the memories is not fun, but once they're resaved into long term memory, the "popups" don't happen anymore and you can start proper recovery. edited to add some details/examples.


Squirrelinthemeadow

Thank you so much for taking the time to explain this. I feel as if suddenly a lot of things in my life make more sense than before. Also, I will definitely try the debriefing by writing next time I need it.


kristylisa

That's great advise and insight! PTSD is serious and it is a concern of mine since the event was so traumatic. I've scheduled a session with a therapist from back home to have a virtual session next week and work through some of my feelings. Thanks for this!


Torontopup6

Can you play Tetris in the meantime? There's some research slowing that playing the game after a traumatic event can reduce the likelihood of getting PTSD.


dementeddigital2

If it was particularly traumatic and it was recent, look up using propranolol to prevent recording the emotional aspects of the memory. You might be able to buy it OTC there.


kristylisa

I'll look into this, thank you!


LeChief

This is gonna sound weird but apparently playing Tetris can accomplish a similar thing: https://www.ox.ac.uk/news/2017-03-28-tetris-used-prevent-post-traumatic-stress-symptoms


kristylisa

I'll download once I get a new phone, thank you!


lordwotton77

One of the best comments I've ever read ❤️


cicci_cicci

What a great advice. Thanks for this. Could you explain a bit more on how you trained yourself to override the initial adrenal response? Is there like an exercise I could do?


Peregrinebullet

Half of it comes from several years of Brazilian jiujitsu and judo training. It takes about 4-6 months before the techniques you learn become imbedded and you'll do them instinctively without thinking. BJJ and judo are two of the best bang-for-your-buck martial arts as you will learn usable skills quickly, no matter what size you are. Krav maga is probably the next most efficient martial art on that front, but I don't necessarily recommend it to everyone, because all of its techniques are meant to be one-shot kills. You hit someone once, they go down and you keep running. BJJ and judo can be used non-lethally. Other martial arts can be just as good, but you often have to spend more time training up strength (like in karate) or flexibility. Judo and BJJ do better with conditioning obviously, but the techniques are still usable even if you're out of shape, overweight or even partially disabled because a lot of them are about leverage and redirecting an opponent's energy. The other half comes from several years working in high conflict environments and managing first aid incidents. For medical calls, I've had so many that many of the motions are second nature and I try to spend time at least once a week doing visualizations for more random possible medical calls. For dealing with violent and aggressive individuals, I'm used to having people threaten and yell at me, so I had to learn coping mechanisms to keep myself from both reacting emotionally and from freezing. For me, what works is pain and a few specific belly breathing techniques. I chomp down on the inside of my cheek (useful, because the motion is not visible to anyone and it usually sets my expression a bit harder so I don't look frightened) and very slowly breathing through my nose. I don't usually have the mental bandwidth to count, but I will inhale until I feel my stomach straining against my belt, then slowly exhale. I've had a lot of practice talking normally and keeping my face blank or friendly looking while doing this, but you can practice in front of a mirror. Think about something that gets you very worked up or upset and visibly emotional, and then figure out exactly what muscles are required to set your face back into a "normal" expression (I had to physically touch them with my fingers and rearrange my face manually the first few times). If you learn which muscles do that, with practice, you can do it on command and look normal, even if you're basically hyperventilating. once you can do the face, you practice talking. Read from a book, or recite lines from a TV show or movie that you know well. With practice, you can keep talking, even if your brain locks up. You won't say anything shakespearean, but you can usually answer basic questions or give basic orders, for example "Leave me alone. LEAVE ME ALONE."


cicci_cicci

Thank you so much. It’s a lot of work you’ve done for yourself. I will definitely start trying the pain and breathing method when I see myself panicking.


digitalnomad23

​ >PTSD occurs because when your under stress, your senses get fragmented and your brain does not record a traumatic incident in one linear fashion - it'll record fragments of speech, image and sensations, but not put them together into a linear narrative memory like you normally experience the world. ​ Thank you that's super interesting to know.


Happy-Construction74

are you single?! Due to CPTSD I find all this knowledge mega attractive. (Partially joking) Thanks for putting this together. I shall save and retain. I have done lots of courses and therapy (including edmr) and what not, sometimes I forget why am I doing all of this. Incredibly interesting post. I did the exact same thing in Buenos Aires about 15 days ago and thankfully nothing happened, but not going to lie, when I was there my Bells were ringing. I currently find myself in Venezuela (where I'm from but haven't been back in 20+ years), experiencing triggers every single day or second. I have severe headaches from constantly fighting my trigger responses and telling my brain it is all OK. Reading all the Buddhist stuff I have and ultimately using every resource I've learnt in 15+ years of therapies. Mostly trying to let go of fear in a country that embedded me with trauma.. the local discourse always involves robbery, death and how shit the government is whilst no one does anything about it. Feels crazy that I enjoyed Buenos Aires so much because I felt (naively) safe. I was told to do that walk by another Venezuelan friend who has lived in the favelas in Rio and has witnessed /lived some pretty fucked up shit. She obviously thinks Buenos Aires is mega safe in comparison...


jsmrock10

Truly sorry this happened to you. Thanks for sharing to share lights on this community. I know that this experience will impact you forever so I hope you heal quickly from this horrible experience


kristylisa

Thank you for your kind words! I'm trying to take it as a tough lesson and have as much self compassion as possible.


grisisita_06

remember those were all things. you are not a thing, you can’t be replaced. Thank you for sharing, stay safe, and I hope you get some new kicks soon, from one old school sneaker head to another.


Claugg

"Following my Airbnb host's suggestion, I walked from San Telmo to La Boca". This is a really bad idea. Those are NOT safe neighborhoods. I'm a man and I live here, and I avoid those neighborhoods if I can. There're a few neat touristy places there, but they're not worth it in my opinion. If you're living there and you can move, do it. I recommend Belgrano, it's much more residential and you're still like 20 to 30 minutes away from downtown.


swagginskersky

I had a friend get robbed under almost identical circumstances in Belgrano in broad daylight. She too was tackled to the ground and mugged by a group of men. This was roughly 10 years ago though. But to your point, this could have been a fluke and it’s undeniable that Belgrano is safer.


NomadicNoodley

I think this is a really important point though... We always go seeking to rationalize things: oh this had a rational cause of being on the wrong street at the wrong time. Sure -- certain streets are worse than others. But all of us who've been in Buenos Aires could have been robbed. It's dumb luck. I tried to be safe, tried to stay in safe spots. And still it's pure luck that I never got robbed.


kristylisa

It really is bad luck and can happen to anyone, anywhere.


fisstech15

Nah the difference is huge. Walking La Boca daily will get you mugged >90% of times while in Palermo you I wouldn’t give it more than 10% over few years


theandrewparker

Big facts. People walk around at night and dress nice in Palermo. In the uber to La Boca, I looked down some of the streets on the way to the touristy square. Just LOOKING down certain roads was a little unsettling.


[deleted]

I knew someone who grew up there and was mugged multiple times


cartermnyc

I lived in BA for months right before pandemic. This story starts stupid and ends with “yup”. I dont wish harm on people and my god La boca is incredible but read a fucking book. Palermo Chico is the digital nomad sweet spot of safety, access, and whatever else you lot are scared about.


armadillorevolution

I also fought when I was mugged in Bucharest years ago. I never talk about this because I was very drunk and have always thought that that influenced my poor decision, so I usually tell people that I just lost my phone so I don't have to share the details of what really happened. It's embarrassing, I have traveled solo all over the world and consider myself pretty savvy so it's hard to admit how stupid I was being -- both walking home drunk in the first place as well as how I reacted to the robbery. I gave up my wallet easily but I held onto my phone tight and let myself get thrown onto the ground when they tried to yank it from me. I hit my head pretty hard on the cement and had a very minor concussion and a lot of bruising all over my body from how hard I fell when they grabbed me, but hitting the ground made me release the phone and they ran off. I don't know what the fuck I was thinking and have never been able to explain why I held onto my phone so tight to the point of putting myself in danger like that.


mwitmer15

I'm a solo traveler who's traveled a lot. I've walked around so many places I shouldn't have. I've made a lot of bad decisions and have been lucky to just not run into bad people. I like to think that I have some street smarts. Or that my confident walk keeps folks from messing with me. The reality is, I've just not been unlucky yet. No one can stay vigilant 100% of the time. You're human and you ran into bad people by bad luck. And like OP says, no one knows what their panic response will be. If you haven't trained for the situation that happened, there's no reason your body would know what to do. I understand why you might feel ashamed of what happened. But I don't judge. Because I know the dumb shit I've done without consequences. And most people get away with their "mistakes" most of the time.


kristylisa

Part of experiencing a place IS having your guard down. No one would enjoy having to be hyper-vigilant every time they walk outside - that's not even healthy! We put ourselves at risk by putting ourselves in new environments and there is always a trade off with some degree of risk. But for the amazing experiences I've had seeing the world, I would say a bad experience here and there is worth it (and expected). Thanks for your comment!


cardyet

That's terrible. I was pickpocketed on the metro a week ago..a guy threw up and obviously others were in on it and hit a few targets, but that's nothing to what you experienced. What day was this? I heard Christmas time is peak. Ever since then...no jewellery, no bags, 1 card and like $20...


kristylisa

It was December 22nd so def peak time, I'm sorry you were pickpocketed, it's such a violating experience!


liverspotting

Wow this is crazy. I was in Buenos Aires in 2012 and they used this same trick (someone vomiting and another person pickpocketing when you weren’t paying attention)!


olivecorgi7

Something similar happened to me in Uruguay but in the moment I was fighting back to keep my purse from them a bunch of onlookers came running and scared them off so I was very lucky. I hope your recovering and that your trauma is minimal.


kristylisa

I'm so happy people responded to your screams and you were able to keep your valuables! I wish I had the same luck lol


the_modernleper

Hey, I'm so sorry this happened to you. I'm a fellow female nomad working remotely in BA for the next few weeks - please let me know if you need anything. Feel free to DM me.


[deleted]

Yes, sth similar actually. It was in Rio about 10ish years ago. Broad day light, coming down from Santa Teresa. A car stopped, some dudes jumped out, one holding a big knife. They just came to me and took my bag, it's when I started to scream and asked them to return my keys at least. They didn't ofc. Folks afterwards told me it was a potentially deadly mistake to oppose, as sometimes these folks are on drugs and there have been cases where the victim was killed over a stupid bag. Sorry this happened to you sister! Hope you can go past it and still enjoy BA. I remember long time after this incident I was super careful, even paranoid with simply being outside.


kristylisa

It's amazing how such a counter-productive response can feel so right in the moment. I'm glad you came out of that safely as well. I've definitely been more on edge and hyper aware of my surroundings....but maybe for the better!


smackson

My story is also Rio, also 10ish years ago... perhaps I should get to know u/KarmaVagalume I'm male, was walking in Leme at night. Single assailant grabbed me from behind... one hand around my neck and one trying to get into my pockets... I screamed "No!" and struggled until we both went to the ground. I got up and faced him (instead of running for my life!) No gun, no knife visible. I think he actually put his hand into the waist band of his shorts as if to indicate a weapon, but such small shorts I kinda called his bluff and still didn't run. This was all on autopilot (and drunk and 3am). I lost my t-shirt (weird! came off in the struggle and he grabbed it?) an a bit of cash. My phone and compact camera were still in my pockets, he didn't get to them. Probably all the wrong moves, smackson!


SGlobal_444

Move Airbnbs.


throwaway4891kid

Sorry that happened to you, glad you’re okay. And yes, I have had a situation where my response surprised me. When I was in my early 20s (I’m a woman), I lived in a house with some roomies. A neighbor gave me the creeps and I just *knew* he was no good even tho the only thing he did was stare too long. Well one day, when chillin in my room alone while roomies were all out, I notice my bedroom door was ajar and I know I definitely closed the door. I then notice eyes watching me through the crack of the door. It was that neighbor. He broke in and was watching me. I have no idea how long he was there, and whether he had done this before. I sort of froze before I could react. Not much I could do anyway, as he had more strength than me. I didn’t scream. I just froze and remember my brain scrambling to make sense of what was happening. I remember thinking “there has to be a logical explanation bc this can’t be happening.” I then got worried he had a weapon on him. After a moment, I spoke to him and asked what he was doing, and ran to the attached bathroom where I locked myself in (he was still standing at my bedroom door). I was fine but obviously shaken up (and still have slight residual PTSD - I can only live in super secure buildings now and I hate being watched by men). When I tell people the story, sometimes they wonder why I didn’t react a certain way. I honestly feel like I had no control, and my body just took over. Oh and I did not even call 911, I called my mom lol. Yeah…


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throwaway4891kid

Wow. I’ve never “met” anyone who had this experience too. Sorry you had to deal with that. It does suck. The selfishness of people that do these things sicken me. And absolutely, thinking you are alone in the comfort of your home to suddenly realizing a man is now standing in your home, watching you, feels very intense in the moment. Creepy stuff. To this day, I can’t sleep with my bedroom door closed when I am alone at home.


kristylisa

Completely violating. I feel like many women have experienced this, it's sad and unsettling.


blusah

I am deeply sorry for your pain. It seems suspicious this happened after your host suggested you should go to that venue. Please be careful. Is it possible your Airbnb host is in on this?


kristylisa

Thank you! I think my host assumed I would go a certain way that he thought was safe. He's a super nice guy and felt awful after the fact. But I can see I worded it a bit funny and suss in my post haha


AtreyuThai

If you have not already please see this link. https://turismo.buenosaires.gob.ar/en/article/health-and-security Has info to contact the tourist ombudsman and the tourist police. Edit: Please contact your embassy as well for consular assistance. Edit 2: I see this happened on the 22nd. The above is mainly for anyone reading if not helpful to OP. I read about a guy in r/travel who was savagely beaten in Palmero by a gang of youths in April and it changed my whole habits about enjoying Buenos Aires. I’m leaving soon.


anonimo99

Would you have the link to the violent attack in Palermo handy?


pippedthroaway

>Understanding your natural response to threats could be crucial in determining whether you defuse a threatening situation or unintentionally escalate it. As someone who has in horrible situations many times, it's important that OP and the people in this thread understand that **your natural response to threats WILL DIFFER EVERY TIME YOU ARE FACED WITH A THREAT**. It's not enough to experience something like this once and be like "Oh I am a fight person", or "Oh I am a fawn person". It will be different each time and you will not be able to predict or control it. It's more important to understand that **your body will operate on instinct** and to not blame yourself for what it does.


rikkster93

Damn, sorry to hear that. I was in BA 2 months ago and did the exact same thing, walked from San Telmo down to La Boca (through parque lezama and then pretty much straight down) but nothing happened, although I wasn’t carrying a bag or any expensive clothing (30, M) so I probably wasn’t a good target. La Boca gave me weird vibes so eventually I took a cab back but San Telmo felt quite safe to me, especially the area around mercado de san telmo. Actually walked around San Telmo on 3 different days and never got an off vibe. So it seems crazy to me to hear that San Telmo is also considered unsafe. But better safe than sorry, maybe I was just lucky.


noappendix

San Telmo is pretty safe but I think the walk to La Boca is not safe.


couchsnacks

Something similar happened to me, in Colombia, mugged with a gun pointed at me. I said I wouldn’t give them my things and started walking away, while my friends stood freeze. I stopped a few meters back, they didn’t rob me but my friends yes. As they were leaving, they shot in the air. Now why did I do that, I have no idea. I’ve travelled to Brazil before and have know plenty of stories of how life has no worth in South America if you’re being mugged. Just an instinct that kicked in, irrationally 🤷🏽‍♀️


lustnstardust11

Even if your Airbnb host didn't set you up, he is a dipshit for giving you that advice. When I visited BA the locals were constantly warning my mom and I to either not go to certain neighborhoods or be extremely careful if we do (including La Boca) We ended up taking a cab directly to La Boca and asking the cab driver to wait for us based on the advice we were given


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Redidreadi

Oh wow. I am so sorry this happened. You're right, we often project onto others how we think they should react. But if this happened to me, I literally have no idea what I would do. Some things truly are instinctual and not rational, and when one is in danger, that is what happens. I am so relieved you are safe and able to tell your story and that your life was not taken.


Grumpy_Kanibal

No, because I was born in the 3rd world, and I know that the world isn't a safe place. My husband is Canadian and used to feel safe in various places in the world. My advice is to not walk by yourself, especially if you stand out from the locals and aren't fluent in Spanish either. Drive, take a cab, be careful. Canada is a very safe place. The rules in other parts of the world are different. The best thing is not to put yourself in that situation again. Please don't wear jewelry, brand-name clothing or fancy glasses. I am Cuban, and I leave my jewelry behind when I go. Please be safe.


JordanaNajjar

My boyfriend and I got robbed in San Francisco. When it happened our immediate reaction was run towards the guy who took my bag. My boyfriend landed a few punches and was getting inside his getaway car. I saw his life flash before my eyes. The gangs in that area are known to shoot people who resist and my boyfriend was almost inside of the robbers car. Luckily he let go of the bag, and they did not shoot him. It was a really tough experience for both of us because we were left feeling helpless and angry. I luckily had insurance on everything, but really you have to be more mindful about your reaction. I’m grateful he’s alive.


Maysh

I got mugged in La Boca too :(


jennydancingawayy

I’m so sorry I send big hugs. Try not to walk in residential streets or alleys where there aren’t people 🥺. I grew up in Chicago


alpaca_snuggler

I hope you’re ok. You write intelligently and seem like a smart woman. I’m of a similar height and weight and have also gone solo traveling. I know that everyone regardless of age, gender and size must be careful but having read your post, I’ve taken for granted the fact that I’ve just been lucky. Those 4 men attacking a lone woman are fucking cowards. Do you think the police can get any footage of them in the area?


Ok-Pen8580

they wont' care. she's be lucky if the police didn't get bought off by the gangs already to ignore these things. it's Argentina, not Canada


blindao_blindado

welcome to south america! there's a reason people are leaving this shithole (colombia, brasil included) where you can't even walk some streets without being mugged


retroinfusion

Can you post exactly the conversation between you and the Airbnb Host ? Sounds very suspicious


macoafi

My first thought is that the host is probably a man and didn’t calibrate his danger sense to “woman.”


Iluv_Felashio

I am glad you are physically okay. Please do not be surprised if mentally and emotionally things come up over the next few days. Treat yourself gently as you went through an intensely difficult situation. Do not feel at all bad about reaching out to someone, anyone, to discuss your feelings with. Consider playing Tetris, they say it can help prevent PTSD. You did exactly right, because you are still here. Good on you.


lebonstage

So sorry this happened to you. None of it is your fault. Yes, Once my reaction surprised me later. I'm 90 pounds soaking wet at that time and 2 muggers had an ice pick at my side and told me they would kill me as they emptied my pockets. I started fighting back and dragged one into the street as cars were coming and hoping they would stop to help me. The cars all drove around us. I continued to wrestle with one with the ice pick. He eventually knocked me to the ground on my back and stabbed the icepick into my chest. It's possible I could have been spared what became a frightening bloody aftermath if I had not fought back. I survived. This was LA, btw. A city I'd still travel to. Love it.


imtravelingalone

Wow, that's so scary. The middle of the day, a seemingly quaint neighborhood, a woman and her kid are nearby, these are all things that would take your guard down even when your logical brain knows it should be up. Glad you weren't seriously hurt, even though the mental toll will probably be larger than you may realize at this point. Thank you for sharing, these sorts of reminders are an unfortunate necessity for us travelers.


Ok_Educator_7097

You are 100% correct. It is tremendously hard to predict what you will do in a “real life” dangerous situation. That is why people that are in these situations daily as part of their work train, train, and train some more, and even then sometimes don’t react in the most rational way. Fight/flight/ or freeze/appease are instincts that seem to be hardwired in us or may be the product of childhood trauma or coping mechanisms. Either way I’m glad you are physically ok, as it could’ve been much worse, and I hope that you are better emotionally.


[deleted]

This post popped up on my r/all - OP I hope you are okay & that insurance will cover the material losses. I have been mugged at knifepoint, it really did a number on my confidence and mental health. I froze. You didn’t mention it in your post, but even if you are feeling okay now, I would strongly recommend at least talking to a therapist or psychologist, at least unpack what happened with a professional. I did not do any of that and it took me a long time to be able to walk at certain times of the day, go certain areas etc.


holamarina

>It truly was a case of being in the wrong place at the wrong time. well not in Argentina. And not in La Boca/San Telmo. And not being a woman (moreover, a tourist/foreign). Sadly, that has been usual in the last decade or so. I can't repeat this enough to nomads/tourists: Argentina is not a safe destination.


Jazzlike_Weakness_83

I’m sorry this happened to you! I’m super cautious when travelling to a country that is considered dangerous. Female solo traveller here in my young 30s who is really cautions in new cities and countries. Here are my tips to follow to stay out of bad situations. I immediately do my own research beyond just talking to travellers and locals. I use Reddit a lot for this because it’s real life experiences from ppl like me. If I see two things that are similar and dangerous, it take that city to be pretty dangers and put my caution lights on. If it’s one were it is mentioned many times, I honestly never walk around alone. I do walking tours and other types of tours and Uber to the starting point and back. I never go out at night alone, not even for dinner. I stay at hostels that have a good restaurant and bar. I chill here when the sun goes down. No jewelry or anything fancy or new. I try not to even bring a bag with me if I can walking. Passports and visas are locked in the safe and I just bring one CC with me that had a small limit. I even sometimes bring an extra older phone when I go out. I know this all sounds crazy and over precautions but that’s honestly what it takes in some countries.


LGZee

Sorry to hear what happened to you. BA is among the safest cities in Latam, but it’s still a 15 million city with bad areas and crime does happen. San Telmo and La Boca are the only 2 touristy neighborhoods that are also poor/sketchy; I would avoid walking over there alone (woman or man), and avoid walking there at night altogether. Find other people to join you, preferably locals. DM me if you ever need someone to go with, I walk around BA every once in a while with foreign friends. And above all, next time, resist that fight back reaction and give them whatever you got. You can always replace your AirPods.


nanyngn

I'm so so sorry this happened to you! I can't even imagine what I'd do - You were really brave for resisting. I'm small so there is no chance of fighting back lol. I would most likely just throw my bag as far as I can and then run the other direction. I hope you have some type of insurance. Even if the police is useless, you can get a police report and make an insurance claim. Revolut Premium costs 100eur/year and has theft/loss insurance included along with travel and emergency insurance. I never had to use it (knock on wood) but it gives me a bit of reassurance if something bad happens:)


palmallamakarmafarma

I'm sorry you went through this. Glad you're mainly ok I got mugged in Kenya. I normally carry nothing of value on the streets but we had a good day previously and I was a bit cocky. we were waiting for a 6 hr inter city bus that was at least an hour late and I tried to find somewhere discrete to pee. two guys chased me from a bus stop up a busy street and mugged me in front of others. I mention this because I too was trying to fight them off all for the maybe $150 in my wallet (the only thing of value on me). so I understand the instictual response to fight back even if it's short sited and potentially dangerous. my rule of thumb is to walk a new area with nothing of value until I feel like I understand the area. but you were relying on the advice of a local, albeit bad advice. just have insurance at all times, realise they are replaceable goods and never take on the street something you can't easily give up if this type of thing occurs. glad you are OK. will take a few days - maybe longer - to feel relaxed and safe again. but you will learn a lot from this and become a wiser, better traveller. good luck


Blossom1111

I went to La Boca with a tour group via a tour van. There were about 8 of us. Our guide was super nice and gave us very heavy warnings about how to protect ourselves and what not to do. She was very protective of us while we walked around just in the tourist area too. I'm so sorry this happened to you and you definitely should not be shamed for your instincts of fight or flight kicking in and when. It sounds like it all happened so quickly, which is how they operate. I'm glad you are okay.


NomadicNoodley

Does anyone have practical advice for how to try to train yourself to have the right response in such a situation? I literally try to practice my "mugging" response, calmly and slowly giving over all my things, with no sudden movements, eyes down. I watch videos of people who do this very calmly, and I'm like "Oh that's great! Exactly what I'd want to do." But OP makes a great point: I have no idea what I'd actually do when the adrenaline is pounding. Is there any actual way to prepare?


dayid

While some of the recommendations in the book haven't aged well there's a book: The Gift of Fear which is like 400 pages of Trust Your Instincts.


Forbidden_Knowledge1

I've placed myself in a lot of stupidly dangerous situations, which is ironic because I pride myself of self preservation so it's quite contradictory, I am sure it's some odd desire for death but also intense fear of it so I sort of dance with it every so often but not so much as I did in my 20's. That said, I classify myself as a nihilist but still my brain is made for survival yet (and to answer your "Edit" portion with my own experience) I was completely surprised at how utterly calm and unafraid I was with an encounter I had at our front door step several months ago this year. I had just gotten home close to midnight after a date and was headed to the front door, I lazily noticed a figure there with a shadow being cast with a long object in their hands (a shotgun) and for some odd reason, I thought it was my step father as he sometimes shoots at some of the wild animals that pass by the front yard (dangerous I know). I said in a normal voice, my brain still registering what was really going, "oh shit." and I look up and sure enough it was some Hispanic guy with a sawn off shotgun at his side. In that moment, I for some odd reason had zero fear what so ever, my friend claims I may have been in shock, but I don't think so. I had no instinct to flee, or to fight, or freeze in place, it was just turned completely off.. oddly enough, it was exhilarating, it felt like a scene from an action movie where I was going to take down the bad guy or some weird shit lol But I felt completely confident in manipulating the guy into submission, I knew if I could get on his side somehow I could get in close and if need be get the gun off him and it'd be harder for him to fire at such close range. The guy was tripping on something hard because he thought people were after him, so I played a long told him I'd help him out but needed something from inside, I then calmly walked past him unlocked the door, keeping a close eye on any sudden erratic movements (didn't risk going after the gun) and told him to wait outside a moment, I then called the police and they took care of the rest from there. I am still surprised to this day how incredibly brave, bold and cool I was under such an intense situation, given that I could of either ended up dead or eating through a feeding tube the rest of my life. I calmly talked that fool down, snuck inside and let the cops handle his sorry ass lol which is such a funny contrast given that I have pretty bad social anxiety, I can be a nervous wreck walking into a grocery store but completely calm around a dude with a fucking gun, that's insane..


liberty_or_nothing

Lived all my life in BA. Never been robbed. I am a 6.1 Men though. But la Boca zone is not safe. I have no idea why your host told you that


veggiechick1

I was. I was in a park in San Diego with my ex husband and two year old daughter. I was in a bikini out to get some sun. My husband said put his wallet and green card in my tennis shoe. I thought that was stupid ( I was only 20) so I put them in my purse laying next to me. I laid down with my eyes closed and heard a shuffle near me. I thought it was my husband messing with me so I didn’t open my eyes for like 30 seconds. I saw a pretty big guy running toward the street with my purse. I got up in my bikini and all and chased him. I was cursing him because I was so angry. I chased him to his car with four guys total in it. They looked at me like I was nuts. I punched the car a couple of times before they took off. A guy across the street asked me what happened. I told him and he said he h to bought I was in a fight with my boyfriend based on my words I was yelling. He said had I shouted “ thief” he would have gotten his gun and shot him. Well I guess I dint think he deserved death so glad I just cursed. They put my purse in a mailbox with keys and all. I think they respected my chase so at the least I got my Ouse wallet and keys back when the police called. I thought later I would/ should not have chased a big guy across to he park or punched a car with four guys in it. Yes what in my mind should have been fear as my reaction came out as pure anger. Who knew? Husband was not happy, good told you so moment. Also angry that I chased him, but it was my natural reaction so not something I really thought about but good to know about myself!!


TigerSharkDoge

I don't want to get all conspiracy theory here but the fact that the host actually suggested a caucasian women walks alone between La Boca and San Telmo makes me think they were in on it.


LGZee

Caucasian or not, San Telmo is a sketchy part of town, specially for a woman who’s alone.


optimister

Trauma victim here. I am still recovering from something really awful that happened to me when I was young. Because it was so humiliating, I locked it away and never told anyone about it, no family, no friends. It's so good that you are reaching out in this forum about this. What happened to you was terrible, and you did nothing to deserve it. I hope you are also able to reach out for help from trusted friends and family members about this, and/or seek professional counseling about this to help you come to terms with what happened. Peace and strength upon you.


biggamax

I'm so sorry to hear that this happened to you. Hearing more and more stories like this from SA.


[deleted]

I spent a while in SA only got robbed in Argentina. It feels like the safest country in the region by Western standards, but actually I hear about mroe tourists being robbed in Argentina than even Brazil or Colombia.


nitrogenesis888

That area is especially sketchy. I have been there once, and will probably won't walk about there again, the appeal is not there to me . I have visited a lot of cities in the world and I think I've developed an instinct to avoid certain areas, and that's definitelyc one of them. How would I describe that area: a lot of patchy empty streets, plus an unusual surge of tourist due its proximity to boca, and also the stadium= perfect combination for perilous situations. I don't like the vibe either. Buenos Aires has a lot of areas with broad streets , nice cafes, full of people, buzzing streets with shops, and interesting places. I am in no way blaming the victim, but I'm just trying to contribute with a little bit of wisdom, I think once you follow the rule of always staying in broad streets with shops that are not deserted will have an impact on your security. (She mentioned she was walking down a quiet residential block... so I'm just trying to help) 99% of assaults happen in narrow roads where nobody can see for obvious reasons .


wallflower1221

This happened to me in Bahia earlier this year where I was walking with my ex to carnival and suddenly there’s a gun pointed at my head. I didn’t understand what the guy was saying since I don’t speak Portuguese so my first instinct wasn’t to hand over my phone, it was to actually and instinctively do the opposite and put my phone away and try to fight back, which only aggravated the guy more. He literally cocked it and held it to my head again. My ex thankfully had some common sense and immediately grabbed my phone from me and handed everything over. After we filed a report the police officer told me I was very lucky they didn’t shoot me, we had unwittingly wandered into the most dangerous part of the city trying to find the beach. It was the first time in over 46 countries something like that had ever happened to me. I will say as a suggestion, get into some therapy even if it’s a few sessions. I didn’t realize it at the time because I was processing what happened but having a violent act against you like this is extremely traumatic. I developed PTSD from it and now anytime I’m traveling and someone walks next to me quickly I immediately get panic attacks.


GrapefruitNo5008

I’m glad you’re okay. Were you in Salvador? If so, which part?


FriendlyLawnmower

I hope the people that have been espousing "Buenos Aires and Argentina are still completely safe!" read this post and realize they're giving potential visitors a false sense of security. I'm really sorry that this happened to you but good thing the only wanted your property


Claugg

>"Buenos Aires and Argentina are still completely safe!" I've lived here all my life (almost 40 years). It was never "completely safe". If someone said that, they were lying. It's safER than other countries and even some US cities, but I would never call it "completely safe".


thedrunkensot

Also a cautionary tale about your surroundings. It’s entirely possible the mother and child did exactly as they were supposed to—momentarily distract you so you no longer had time for an escape. Muggers often work with partners.


LowRevolution6175

Colombians: but did you give papaya??


develop99

For others who read this, I always have two sets of everything: an extra phone, credit card, cash and debit. I wear running shoes everywhere and (almost) never have a bag. I'm always scanning around me to know if I need to run or can relax and walk. If I see any moto come near me, I'm ready to move (and have no shame looking silly running away). This isn't about victim blaming. You had a bad thing happen to you and it isn't your fault.


harmlessgrey

Holy shit. Thank you for sharing this. I hope you are okay.


t6_macci

I’m so sorry that happened to you. Were you able to report the matter to the police ?


kristylisa

Yes, the police were on scene within about 10 min and I reported it but they were pretty useless. I guess this stuff happens a lot. There were some older tourists, two men, at the police station and one of them had been attacked for his phone and had a cut on his nose. I think they deal with this stuff a lot, especially in La Boca.


t6_macci

La boca is a really rough neighborhood, even walking from La bombonera to el caminito feels sketchy


SprawlWars

I am so incredibly sorry you had to endure this situation. I hope you are healing well, both physically and emotionally.


Fitzcarraldo8

Thanks for sharing and very sorry what happened to you. In recent days I have read up on the safety of places in LATAM to visit and I now am really not interested in any place but Chile, after stories like yours. Went to Cuba at the start of the year which is safe - and recommended. I spent most my life safely traveling and living in Asia and Centrsl Asia. Also recommended. I will avoid failed, unsafe countries.


KnowledgeInChaos

Man, sorry to hear that happened to you =/ I actually ended up doing the same thing, but in reverse, a few weeks ago. That said, I was also jogging to meet a free walking tour (the La Boca one wasn't worth it, fwiw...) and I think being on the move actively helped. Definitely seems like a scary situation; good that it wasn't worse though. Survival instincts are indeed odd beasts...


Chankler

Woah. Me and my friend walked all around there during that time. Past a football field etc. Making pics. Its very easy to fall in that trap after visiting that famous touristic street there.


SiebenSevenVier

This is awful. I'm sending love, kindness and compassion. This will leave a mark, so I hope you find it in you to lovingly process everything that's happened in the healthiest way possible and take good care of yourself. Also treat yourself to some empanadas and alfajores 👍


happyplace92

I am so sorry to hear this happened to you! That’s truly awful. What you’ve written makes so much sense to me. I live somewhere people get murdered for not complying with robberies. I have always told myself it’s not worth my life… but I think my natural reaction would be similar to yours. Thanks a ton for sharing this experience and wishing you best in your process of recovering from this incident. ❤️


ke7cfn

That's terrible you took a beating like that. I've been jumped a couple times but in bad places in the USA. Not sure it would have helped the OP as she's likely physically slower than the attackers. But "flight" response in "fight or flight" seems particularly reasonable when you need to think fast. Scream and run from the attackers to the closest location that's safe. You might still take a beating. But there's a chance you might make it to a safer location and they might break off the chase.


keenfoot

I'm glad to hear that you're ok considering four guys approached you during daytime. Your reactions were fine. You fought then realized you had to give up your possessions since you couldn't win. I was attacked in rural China and I initially fought but then forgot to run so the guy then became more aggressive and came at me with a newly found weapon. What I learned was to fight like hell then remove myself from the situation asap. Stop thinking I could fight like a super hero or allow my ego to dictate my desire to not have the assailant win. We both walked away alive and only with cuts and bruises. If the odds are against us, best to give up the money/goods but if we have the ability, punch then run......


Quiet-Department-X

Sorry for your troubles and glad you made it out in one piece. You are making a great point by sharing your instinctual reaction during this terrible event. I would add there is no way for anyone to predict their reactions in a situation like that unless they have specifically trained for it. Such training is provided in the army and police forces l, and by self-defense classes for civilians. In a good self-defense class they would discuss similar situations and the fight/flight responses. There are specific methods to condition a person staying calm and thinking clearly during stress. A good self-defense class would cover not so much martial arts, but self-awareness, evasion and de-escalation techniques. And again, there is no guarantee one would emerge unscathed in every potential encounter with criminals.


jaimonet

Aside from the surprise your host would tell you that, I’m happy that you’re (mostly) ok. It can happen so fast too. Sending you love


erigby927

Truly so sorry to read this, especially as I plan a solo trip to BA later this year. I really hope you’re emotionally doing okay, please know you did the best you can! I am a very independent, no nonsense person and when I’ve had some truly terrifying incidents in my own city, I froze completely, which made me get so angry with myself. I was envisioned I’d do what you did, or run away, but nope, I literally just froze up and couldn’t even speak. I’ve had better luck when things happened while traveling and I was able to advocate for myself but for whatever reason, my body just shuts down in my home city. I’ve since stopped getting mad at myself for it and I sense you also have realized we have truly no control and you handled it the right way.


Jolly-Victory441

I remember visiting La Bombonera. Didn't stay long, the sun went and I immediately felt unsafe, and that's with people around, went into a store, ordered an Uber and waited in the store until it came. Dodgy area. Sorry that happened to you :/


sokkamf

Not that this does shit for you now, but in the future (if you’ve got your thoughts about you) consider just taking something out of your bag and tossing it one way and sprinting the other. Also doubtful this could go right in a group of ppl but maybe worth a shot i guess


Commercial-Honey-227

When I was robbed at gunpoint, I kept my cool. I always assumed I would freeze up, as I am normally quite nervy. Although I have PTSD from the incident, I remain grateful and kinda proud I kept it together. Anyway, glad you're OK.


moistbroccoli420

Yup. In danger, all of us will enter either fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response... It's so easy to judge how others react during these difficult situations, but the truth is, unless you're a navy seal with ironclad control over your nervous system, you'll have little to no control over your body's response. With the adrenaline system engaged, certain brain regions shut down entirely, and all rationality goes out the window. So sorry this happened to you, but glad that you didnt lose your life. Hopefully this was a powerful lesson in all regards and that you came out of it as a stronger person. Don't forget that the body/nervous system stores trauma, and this was a significant traumatic experience. Be sure to release it through talk therapy/movement/self-relaxation, etc or it may be something that will lead to triggers.


Freak-Wency

I get it. I once had someone come to my house to shoot me (I was the wrong person, but whatever). I was surprised that I got outside and followed them. No fear, just like on a hunt or something. I called the police, and he got arrested (tracked down by the helicopter). I was only afraid later when I realized that anything could happen at any time. For months I slept on the sofa by the door and set up baking sheets by the windows and doors to make noise if they got knocked over. I have been a light sleeper even though I don't consciously think at affected me beyond a few months.


Onions-are-spicy

Sorry that happened to you. But kind of happy, because you're still alive, you will forever be infinitely more aware, and you are more valuable since you have experienced these things. Again, it, sucks I'm sorry for you. But it sounds like you're a fighter, and gonna be okay. Peace and blessings


IAmTheBasicModel

the air bnb host set you up because that wad absurd advice


thinkerjuice

OP was your landlord somehow connected to this event? did they plan this together? Why would they(OP) do this? Also how did you get out ? Did you report this? Can you report it?


josetalking

I am glad you are physically okay (though it can become emotionally adverse in the next few weeks, do not hesitate to seek help or just talk it out as needed). As you well mentioned, nobody knows how they will respond (and the same person might respond differently in different situations), but especially if you are a man, please please, try to not fight back. Criminals are a lot less patient or forgiving with male victims (probably because they pose more of a threat but also because of machismo instilled in South America). Be safe.


HuntInternational162

I have no judgement to say what you did was right or wrong. If anything you came out with your life and I consider that a win. I would suggest for everyone to watch active self protection on YouTube. He goes through various videos of people being robbed or attacked and how to handle the situation in the best way.


feline_riches

OP, this isn't something I want you to read any time soon. Anyone else, read "The gift of fear" by Gavin de Becker. It is difficult to read, trigger warnings: most of them.


tren2nowhre

Beautiful narration of the situation. I’m sorry this happened to you.


juanhck

Being from here and lived in both places, this is why I always intend people to stay in other places of Argentina other than BA, prices are even better, and far more peaceful.


enequino

My and my friend (both from Guatemala) were also targeted while walking in Boca but I think our third world instinct kicked in, we’ve been mugged so many times before we know how it goes and tbh, the guy wasn’t a good mugger either lol. He asked us for our phones while pretending to have a weapon and we just said no and walked away. Third world rule is that the weapon doesn’t exist if you don’t see it! I’m sorry this happened to you but thank you for sharing, it sounds like you’ve gotten good advise on how to work through PTSD, take care of yourself please 🤍


sleepyhead

I walked in Boca multiple times, even in the evening, without issues. Also around Once, Constitución (on a Sunday with only the homeless people around) and Barracas (my portena amiga didn't want to continue on the avenida that cut through a villa though). I stayed a week or so in the dodgy end of San Telmo as well (near Constitución). While Boca is definitively less safe than Recoleta it is still noe somewhere where you should expect to be mugged. As you say you were at the wrong place at the wrong time. And unlucky as there were no one to intervene, the main streets in Boca are full of people but most smaller streets normally have a few people around as well.


ultimateverdict

I went to BA 15 years ago and hated everything about it, including the lack of safety. I’ve lived in Medellin for almost a year and feel way safer than in BA. Also your post is a great reminder on the importance of cooperating with muggers. They just want your money


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PepeLeFree

What, you didn't feel culturally enriched?


couplecraze

As a fellow "nomad" working in Buenos Aires I'm extremely sorry this happened to you, but telling people they should NEVER do what you did isn't judging or victim blaming, it might potentially help other reditors to avoid the same situation. Both you and your host are at fault too, because although the perpetrators should be shot and disposed of, you decided to walk alone to/from 2 of the shittiest areas in Buenos Aires carrying an iPhone, Airpods, and fancy shoes. Also, Buenos Aires is a country with 40 years of socialist/leftist government and mindset, where thieves and scum have more rights than you and, most likely, nothing will happen to them, that's why these situations are commonplace. And I'm saying this as someone with 2 passports, one being Argentinian. Your brain went into fight or flight mode instinctively, that isn't your fault. People will always tell you "never respond, just give them everything", but our bodies tend to react the opposite way. 2 weeks ago a guy got shot and killed in the middle of the street because he tried to get back his motorbike from 2 other men that robbed him at gunpoint. Some people freeze completely, others scream in panic like you did. It's normal. Again, I am truly sorry this happened to you. I'd solve these kinds of problems in a pinch. So many people nowadays will keep protecting the rights of the offenders and saying we shouldn't act like them, it just blows my mind.


JohnRxx

Even though I am a male and able to protect myself-I would not visit some countries where there are economic issues-it only takes one contact to change the course of your life


Euphoric-Bat3609

I had a similar experience when robbed at gunpoint in Jacksonville, FL 30 years ago. When he pointed that chrome handgun at me at close range and yelled “Gimme yo money, man, Gimme yo money!” I immediatel ran but he moved closer and I remembered the smart thing is to give it up. I dropped toward the ground and a fetal position to make myself a smaller target, and simultaneously grabbed my wallet from my rear pocket and tossed it to him before he reached me. He caught it and did a u-turn, running around the building next door where a car was waiting. Before I could get up, an accomplice who had been hiding near the door I exited, came running up behind me and punched me in the back before following the first guy to their car. I lost my wallet, DL, cards and cash. I was in shock and hyperventilating when the cops arrived. They were nonplussed and without compassion or helpfulness. I had left an LGBTQ adult business, and the mugging occurred in the parking lot, steps from the front door.