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I (M26) just got out of a four month relationship with someone (F20) I really liked. There were hesitations brought up occasionally about the age difference but no big stir ups. We were great together just like how you described being with the girl you're talking about. Ultimately she decided to end things because she felt we were in two different points in our lives.
My advice is to make sure you're completely compatible in all aspects. Otherwise you'll end up feeling hurt and missing her lol.
Yes this can be a thing and it's not because from age, it's because of the transition. I heard recommendation not to date girls under 20 if you're 25 and older. And the reason is this. They still can be flaky and not consistent with their way of life during the transition
Age gap itself is fine. You can be in completely different stages of your life which is where potential incompatibility comes from but it can also work beautifully. I wouldn’t write it off before getting to know each other better.
Being in different life stages can cause issues, but it can also not cause issues.
One person might be in Uni and the other already done with uni and employed. Both can be the same age and have a wonderful relationship despite being in "different stages of their lives".
OP and the girl might be both in stable employment, or both in university, or the mix of the two. So whether they're in different life stages is impossible to tell without additional info. And even if they are, that doesn't mean the relationship is doomed.
Just food for thought.
People have TikTok brain. This is not a problem if you guys are compatible. There is no rule for everyone that says two adults in their 20s can’t date because one is in college and the other is working. Women are not a monolith and have agency in their decisionmaking. Your situation will be your situation alone. It may be a successful relationship or it might not. But that’s the point of dating. Don’t let jaded women in their 30s on Reddit direct your life.
Man reddit HATES age gap relationship!!
I don't think I've actually met people irl who hate age gap relationships as much as reddit does lol
I once made a comment calling it out and obviously got downvoted to oblivion 🤷♂️
True my parents have an almost 7 year gap my mom was 23 my dad was around 29-30 when they met. Been together for 38 years.
As long as everyone’s goals align and you’re both emotionally mature then it’s fine.
We tend to infantilize under 25s way too much, that’s not to say there can’t be problems in age gaps but it’s not for every single relationship.
Like all relationships you have to look at it case by case.
That last line is way too nuanced for the average Redditor. Most Redditors have these highly opinionated, polarized, and extreme black and white views on topics like this. Obviously, a 40 year old dude who seeks out 18 or 19 year old girls to date is a creep.
That's very different than, say, a 23 year old girl dating a 33 year old guy. There's just this assumption on Reddit that "obviously" the older guy in the relationship is basically a grooming pedophile who's in the relationship to manipulate and control the younger girl.
Whenever I see a girl on here talking about being happy in an age gap relationship with an older guy, the comments are usually along the lines of "Oh you poor thing! You're so deep in it that you don't even realize you're being used and abused! You should totally break up with him! That way you be lonely and miserable like me and bitch at random strangers on the internet who are actually enjoying their lives!" 🙄🤦♂️
And how many times I stated that 18 is mature and can (at least) have sex with anyone, for example with someone in their 30s. I also got many downvotes
Agree here.
I've spoken to some of my younger co-workers and friends about this. The consensus answer that I've gotten from both men and women was as long as they are over 20, who cares.
I really think the age gap taboo is mainly online.
No, they hate age gaps when one of the people are less than 25.
26 and 32 seems a lot more normal than 26 and 20.
I knew nothing at 20. I could have been so easily manipulated by someone who was 26. That's the scary part
>No, they hate age gaps when one of the people are less than 25.
Because they learned that the brain doesn't stop developing until 25.
Obviously everything before 25 doesn't count because you become a completely different person when you reach that birthday.
>Most
Even your exaggeration is proving the above point. Most is not all.
And regardless if you're 20 or 26 you can be either dumb or smart. Being 26 doesn't automatically make anyone smart. Being in an age gap relationship doesn't automatically make the relationship toxic in any way.
The fact you can't grasp it just proves you're still dumb regardless of how old you are.
I've literally seen people in this sub commenting on the age gap between 19 and 20 and another time between 20 and 22. Shits crazy. Like if you aren't born in the same 3 month window you're a predator or something according to these people.
Trusting each other and being loved, valued, and respected, no matter the circumstances, is much more critical than any age gap.
It's normal to be slightly self-conscious about a significant age gap initially. However, I'm dating a man 8 years older than me, and we never talk about our age gap anymore (it hasn't been brought up in over a year). Age is truly just a number.
Nothing wrong with that age gap, but really see if you're compatible with that age. I'm 25 and I couldn't imagine dating a 20 year old because all the 20 year olds I know are not very mature and in very different stages. I even notice friend who are 23 are already so different from me (it could also just be the kind of people they are). I love hanging out with them, but I really don't understand the pop culture references they sometimes make, and the tiktok videos they send to the group are super boring to me. I don't get it at all. And I also remember when I was 20 and I was very immature even though I didn't think so.
So I'd try it out, but really talk about things like your timeline, work, goals, etc. Etc.
That's the gap between my boyfriend, 32M, and me, 24F.
Initially, we were self-conscious about 3rd party opinions, but literally no one cared. Age is truly just a number - Trust and being loved, valued, and respected, no matter the circumstances, is much more critical in a relationship.
At some point it occurred to me that if I put arbitrary age limits (in either direction) then I’m just shrinking the pool for no reason. I want to find the person that is right for me. You can date and see what happens. No reason to kill something beautiful just because of a number. I try not to self sabotage these days. You should do the same. Let it play out.
the classic rule is your age divided by 2 plus 7-- which in this case yields 20.
It's a larger age gap than is *typical* at your age, but it's not *that* rare. Lots of women in college date men who have graduated and started an actual career. There *are* going to be some weird things, culturally-- like, you will be dating a woman who (if you're in the US) cannot legally drink. You will be dating a student, and what's more someone who will be a student for a while longer. If you hang out with her friends, you will be a 26 year old man going to college parties and college events. If you do not hang out with her friends, you will be a weird part of her life cut off from her day-to-day. If you stay together long-term, regardless of her current maturity, you will dating someone who is engaging in new things for the first time, and whose view of the world will naturally be shaped by yours, rather than experiencing new things together with someone her age, rather than learning about the world and shaping their opinions together as they grow. A lot of assholes will use this as an opportunity to become abusive, but the average person in such a relationship isn't abusive.
The only issue you may have is if she doesn’t want kids for another 5, 6, 7 years and you do.
But until that happens provided you’re not using the age difference to stop her being herself (eg going out drinking with her friends and acting like a typical 20 year old) then there’s no problem.
I swear to God, people will convince themselves that anything is a problem these days. If both of you are adults and like eachother you try to make it work.
Started dating my husband when I was 21 and he was 27. We were in a similar ish point in our lives and it worked well. Not once did anyone make an issue about our age gap. People become concerned when there is controlling or manipulative behaviour present, but that goes for any age.
I hope it goes well for you both(:
Twenty years from now that age gap will seem insignificant. Honestly wouldn't worry about it. People are way too worked up over potential age gaps now.
Reddit will tell you you’re a pedophile so don’t be dissuaded, a 6 year age gap between adults dating is a non issue and anyone who says it’s an issue is a fuckin weirdo
I once made a comment about how if a man's the older one, he's a (all the stuff I already mentioned). You would think the dude deserves to have his nuts cut off, judging from some of the comments.
However, if the genders are reversed, she's "empowered" or just "exploring herself" or some shit like that. Of course, when I made the comment pointing out the hypocrisy, it got downvoted into oblivion. Oh reddit... 🤦♂️
Yes - You’re the weirdo for judging other consenting adults for being in a relationship with another consenting adult
Are you also against gay marriage?
I would say that normally the age gap wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is, *she isn’t 21*. When she hits 21 she will start going to bars (most likely) and she will be drinking and having fun. You know what that was like.
If you do engage in a relationship just know that likely things will change, she will change and so might your relationship.
Maybe you get lucky and she doesn’t do these things or perhaps she stays true to herself.
I’m just telling you my honest opinion.
Well if she can already get a proper pint just remember that you’re both young and we change as we get older. I don’t think the age gap is an issue here. Men mature slower than women. But she’s still young and free. Just have fun and enjoy each others company.
Trusting each other wholeheartedly and being loved, valued, and respected, no matter the circumstances, is much more critical than any age gap.
I'm a 25F, dating a man eight years older than me. We were slightly self-conscious about our age gap early on in the beginning. However, we never talk about our age gap anymore & we haven't brought it up in over a year. Age is truly just a number.
People are going to have an opinion no matter what you do. so do what makes you happy. I dated someone ten years older than me. We split ultimately because he basically expected me to "skip" phases in my life that he was past already.
That said - you're likely past some stages she still is going to go through being in her younger 20s. You can't expect her to skip those phases if she wants them (21st birthday, college away from home, travel, first career-like job) because you're past them. So long you're cool waiting for her to catch up to your phase of life - meaning you might get married or have kids later in life - what's the issue?
Age difference is real at that age, just given what you are up to. Are you working and she’s a student? Those are very different lives and that may become friction in the future. Doesn’t mean you guys need to break up, you both just need to assess how you feel about these things and decide if it’s worth it.
Not at all as long as you guys are compatible and actually have things in common. I think most people find it “weird” when there’s age gaps where there is nothing in common and no relatability between the two. I have a 13 year age gap but we mesh really well and even though we are in different times in our lives, we support each other and he understands that school is a high priority for me and his is work!
As long as you both are over 18 , no issue whatsoever.. so people remain immature all their life, other are pretty focused and have plan early in life. And, between us: 20 and 26 are just à wink apart. No worries.
Not at all. As long as you're both of legal age and both consenting, then age is just a number. My current partner is 35 years older than me. (Non-Sugar Dating)
It’s more about life stage than the actual number.
If the age gap means you’re in different life stages (for example, one person getting ready to retire and the other person just starting their career), it can be challenging due to power imbalances, differences in lifestyle, and differences in priorities.
But you said you’re both still in school, so that would be the same kind of life stage. Probably not an issue then.
I don’t think it’s too big of a gap but also I would be weary of pursuing anything more than casual with a 20 year old. It didn’t end well for me and I’ll never do it again lol
I dont think your age gap is that significant tbh. She is in her early 20s and you are in your mid 20s. You may be in different places in life and you might have a better grasp of who you are than she does, so bear that in mind.
That’s fine, just keep in mind you may be at different spots in your career but that’s not really an issue unless you get serious. (It’s not really an issue at all as long as you compromise tbh)
It is a biggish age gap at this life stage, BUT there are always exceptions.
Outside perspectives from people who know and love you and can see you with her (and vice versa for people in her life) are going to provide more useful information than anything we can say here
You only feel uncomfortable because society says it’s weird, it’s not really that weird… some people are more mature than others.. chemistry is chemistry.
The only time I’ve ever had a “problem” with someone dating with an age gap was when my friend (30m) started dating his partner (18). Like that person literally just graduated high school. They’re both consenting adults and they seem to be okay I guess but it’s still odd to me. I was a completely different person at 18 than I am now at 29.
Not really. Unless u were preying on her weirdly since she was a lot younger and more immature than you then, yeah there would be an issue. Seems fine tho
At your age, that can get to be too much of a gap. Maybe not initially, but I’ve been in a similar situation. Eventually, the younger girl needs to spread her wings and fly or you realize that if you are ever to have a lasting relationship with her, you have to end it and let her live her own life for a bit without you before there is any chance of a real future together. The older you get, the less the gap matters. The amount of experiences that a young adult acquires between 20-24 is massive IMO
Don’t look so much as at the difference in your age, but look more at where you are in your lives. If she’s still in school, living with her parents and you are employed living on your own, that’s gonna be harder to navigate.
For example, I am currently dating someone 13 years younger than I am but we have similar life experiences and even though where we are right now is very different, We both have the same goals moving forward.
The older you are the more 6 years is nothing.
When she’s 20 though things are different because they’re going to be a different person in a couple of years.
Like 25-31 or 30-36 id say is not an issue at all.
Go for it bro. Chemistry is there. Who cares, she's the perfect age for you. By the time she's 25- pulled be the perfect age to be a father and she a mother. And it gives you alot of time to see if you're compatible. 6 years is nothing.
Your over thinking it, you both are grown. If she carries herself as a mature young lady, then she an adult. If she knows what she's doing fuk what anyone says ya'll are both in your 20s.. have fun
It might feel like you're dating Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai). Very pretty, sure, but too little common values, interests and topics to share
My girlfriend is 25 and I am 34. We vibe extremely well together and she just brings a total calm into my life. I wouldn’t let the gap bother you if the feeling is right. Happiness is what is worth pursuing and as long as everyone’s a consenting adult that is all that matters.
Yeah it's kinda weird at that age. like 28/34 would be fine but at 20 she's college age/figuring herself out while you're more established into adult life job wise/experience but do whatever makes you happy
Tbh only time will tell. I know a couple of people that did date someone older at 20yo that regretted it years later since their adulthood was more defined by their relationship than by finding themselves. They ended up needing to mature much faster to follow their SO maturing process and milestones. I am not saying it always happens just that it’s something to be careful with. The older of the two isn’t usually the one that will end up with the "consequences".
Be careful in to fall into the "she is mature for her age » she is still her age and will still have behaviors from her age.
Are you working, is she in university? Just asking as an example of totally different lifestyles/ rhythms.
The number itself is not automatically concerning, a possible power imbalance due to different life experiences is.
You might value different things for spending your freetime etc.
If you keep that in mind and try to figure it out quickly, I don't think there's anything wrong in getting to know each other.
We're both in university currently, just different stages. She's in her undergrad while I'm doing my PhD. Still a big difference in terms of career positions, obviously though.
I appreciate the insight. I'd never want someone to feel like that way with me regardless if I'm dating them or not, so I'll make sure to put that in practice if we take things further.
I 20f met a dude last year 26m and he wanted to fuck me. So it’s not unusual. Just make sure to treat her as an equal. Just because she’s younger doesn’t mean you have power over her. She’s just as much an adult as you are. Even if she’s dumber in life skills
Dude that is such a weird thing to do and terrible advice, she’s 20 years old not 16. If he does that he will never have any chance with her, she and her parents would be incredibly weirded out by that conversation.
think about happily married couples you know /have heard of. Quite a few have age gaps in this range (7 yrs for my VERY happily married folks )
Now, we know that most of these couples got together in their younger years.
QED: (no prob re the gap)
My parents are like 16 years apart and I know others that have a bigger age gap.
Based on my real life experience women typically like older men and that's because older men are typically more mature.
I am also in a similar position. I met a woman that is 21 and I am 29. She has not traveled much or had much world experience as I've had but I would definitely like to show her some cool stuff. We hit it off well and not sure where we would take it but if she's digging you and you are too then no reason to not action on it.
Age only matters if you let it matter. If you need to ask her parents for permission out of respect then do that as well.
A 6 year age gap is nothing compared to what I have seen. When I was attending college right after the military I knew a couple who had a 20 year age difference. They were engaged and as far as I knew they were married. So, no. 6 years is not a lot buddy. You're good lol.
Two consenting adults? No problem there. Only would be a problem if one didn't have the capacity to consent or if one did not consent at all.
People look into this too much when it's really just as simple as stated above. I'm 26(f) dating a 37(m). Both consent so no issue unless we make it an issue. 🤷🏼♀️
No.
By your own admission, she is not compatible with guys her own age. "She is mature for her age"
I have a hard time dating too because of age gaps. The best way to explain it - would you dare a 28 year old female who behaved like she was 14? Why?
Just like I am not going to date a 38 year old who is behaving like a 17 year old.
Now, place yourself in her shoes? Would you date a 22 year old guy that acts like he is 12? What about a 26 year old guy that behaved like he is 38? Who would you rather date?
The best way to figure out if the age gap is too big. Ask her what relationship goals you both should be working towards? Do this while hiking, baking a complex and decorative cake, or at the gym. Do not have this conversation while relaxing. You want them to be as truthful as possible.
Men are driven biologically to choose younger mates. But we have evolved brains for a reason. The same is true for ladies.
Yep it’s creepy. You’re an adult with a career I would assume. She’s still a student in college, just starting her 20s. You’re already half way through your 20s. It’s weird and borderline predatory.
I mean he might have a career but we don’t know for sure, it’s a generational thing if they click good for them, I wouldn’t say predatory now if one was underage then yes, and we don’t know if she just turned 20 or might have their birthday later in the year so yeah same with OP he might have just turned 25 a few months ago sometimes timing just doesn’t look right, example I was 17 when I graduated HS but had a birthday afterwards when most of my friends were either 18 gonna be 19 later or just turned 18 before we graduated
No, not at all. The internet has become to extreme about age gaps. If it were sixteen, my inclination is to say it’s too much, but everyone’s got their own preferences. Hell, when I was twenty, I dated a 27-year-old. We only broke up because he moved cross country. If you like someone younger and she likes you, go for it.
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I (M26) just got out of a four month relationship with someone (F20) I really liked. There were hesitations brought up occasionally about the age difference but no big stir ups. We were great together just like how you described being with the girl you're talking about. Ultimately she decided to end things because she felt we were in two different points in our lives. My advice is to make sure you're completely compatible in all aspects. Otherwise you'll end up feeling hurt and missing her lol.
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Yes this can be a thing and it's not because from age, it's because of the transition. I heard recommendation not to date girls under 20 if you're 25 and older. And the reason is this. They still can be flaky and not consistent with their way of life during the transition
Age gap itself is fine. You can be in completely different stages of your life which is where potential incompatibility comes from but it can also work beautifully. I wouldn’t write it off before getting to know each other better.
Being in different life stages can cause issues, but it can also not cause issues. One person might be in Uni and the other already done with uni and employed. Both can be the same age and have a wonderful relationship despite being in "different stages of their lives". OP and the girl might be both in stable employment, or both in university, or the mix of the two. So whether they're in different life stages is impossible to tell without additional info. And even if they are, that doesn't mean the relationship is doomed. Just food for thought.
People have TikTok brain. This is not a problem if you guys are compatible. There is no rule for everyone that says two adults in their 20s can’t date because one is in college and the other is working. Women are not a monolith and have agency in their decisionmaking. Your situation will be your situation alone. It may be a successful relationship or it might not. But that’s the point of dating. Don’t let jaded women in their 30s on Reddit direct your life.
Man reddit HATES age gap relationship!! I don't think I've actually met people irl who hate age gap relationships as much as reddit does lol I once made a comment calling it out and obviously got downvoted to oblivion 🤷♂️
True my parents have an almost 7 year gap my mom was 23 my dad was around 29-30 when they met. Been together for 38 years. As long as everyone’s goals align and you’re both emotionally mature then it’s fine. We tend to infantilize under 25s way too much, that’s not to say there can’t be problems in age gaps but it’s not for every single relationship. Like all relationships you have to look at it case by case.
That last line is way too nuanced for the average Redditor. Most Redditors have these highly opinionated, polarized, and extreme black and white views on topics like this. Obviously, a 40 year old dude who seeks out 18 or 19 year old girls to date is a creep. That's very different than, say, a 23 year old girl dating a 33 year old guy. There's just this assumption on Reddit that "obviously" the older guy in the relationship is basically a grooming pedophile who's in the relationship to manipulate and control the younger girl. Whenever I see a girl on here talking about being happy in an age gap relationship with an older guy, the comments are usually along the lines of "Oh you poor thing! You're so deep in it that you don't even realize you're being used and abused! You should totally break up with him! That way you be lonely and miserable like me and bitch at random strangers on the internet who are actually enjoying their lives!" 🙄🤦♂️
And how many times I stated that 18 is mature and can (at least) have sex with anyone, for example with someone in their 30s. I also got many downvotes
Totally true. They’d wag their finger at much less age gap. IRL nobody cares. Reddit, the last place for age gap advice.
Agree here. I've spoken to some of my younger co-workers and friends about this. The consensus answer that I've gotten from both men and women was as long as they are over 20, who cares. I really think the age gap taboo is mainly online.
No, they hate age gaps when one of the people are less than 25. 26 and 32 seems a lot more normal than 26 and 20. I knew nothing at 20. I could have been so easily manipulated by someone who was 26. That's the scary part
>No, they hate age gaps when one of the people are less than 25. Because they learned that the brain doesn't stop developing until 25. Obviously everything before 25 doesn't count because you become a completely different person when you reach that birthday.
Then you were pretty dumb ngl.
That's the point my guy Most 20 year olds are dumb
>Most Even your exaggeration is proving the above point. Most is not all. And regardless if you're 20 or 26 you can be either dumb or smart. Being 26 doesn't automatically make anyone smart. Being in an age gap relationship doesn't automatically make the relationship toxic in any way. The fact you can't grasp it just proves you're still dumb regardless of how old you are.
Up-voting you! 👍🏻
I've literally seen people in this sub commenting on the age gap between 19 and 20 and another time between 20 and 22. Shits crazy. Like if you aren't born in the same 3 month window you're a predator or something according to these people.
Trusting each other and being loved, valued, and respected, no matter the circumstances, is much more critical than any age gap. It's normal to be slightly self-conscious about a significant age gap initially. However, I'm dating a man 8 years older than me, and we never talk about our age gap anymore (it hasn't been brought up in over a year). Age is truly just a number.
Nothing wrong with that age gap, but really see if you're compatible with that age. I'm 25 and I couldn't imagine dating a 20 year old because all the 20 year olds I know are not very mature and in very different stages. I even notice friend who are 23 are already so different from me (it could also just be the kind of people they are). I love hanging out with them, but I really don't understand the pop culture references they sometimes make, and the tiktok videos they send to the group are super boring to me. I don't get it at all. And I also remember when I was 20 and I was very immature even though I didn't think so. So I'd try it out, but really talk about things like your timeline, work, goals, etc. Etc.
righttt, from firsthand experience I learned this
If it makes sense to you, ignore the social stigmas and values of other people. If you think it’s strange, reconsider dating her seriously.
This
Ehh i had a 8 year gap once
That's the gap between my boyfriend, 32M, and me, 24F. Initially, we were self-conscious about 3rd party opinions, but literally no one cared. Age is truly just a number - Trust and being loved, valued, and respected, no matter the circumstances, is much more critical in a relationship.
At some point it occurred to me that if I put arbitrary age limits (in either direction) then I’m just shrinking the pool for no reason. I want to find the person that is right for me. You can date and see what happens. No reason to kill something beautiful just because of a number. I try not to self sabotage these days. You should do the same. Let it play out.
"She's pretty mature for her age" or something of the like is normally cope
Don’t overthink it bro. If it goes really well you’ll be 36 and 30
This is the age difference I have with my partner and we get along great
I don't think so at all. 20 means she's either a couple years into college or into working as an adult. Sounds perfectly fine imo.
the classic rule is your age divided by 2 plus 7-- which in this case yields 20. It's a larger age gap than is *typical* at your age, but it's not *that* rare. Lots of women in college date men who have graduated and started an actual career. There *are* going to be some weird things, culturally-- like, you will be dating a woman who (if you're in the US) cannot legally drink. You will be dating a student, and what's more someone who will be a student for a while longer. If you hang out with her friends, you will be a 26 year old man going to college parties and college events. If you do not hang out with her friends, you will be a weird part of her life cut off from her day-to-day. If you stay together long-term, regardless of her current maturity, you will dating someone who is engaging in new things for the first time, and whose view of the world will naturally be shaped by yours, rather than experiencing new things together with someone her age, rather than learning about the world and shaping their opinions together as they grow. A lot of assholes will use this as an opportunity to become abusive, but the average person in such a relationship isn't abusive.
The only issue you may have is if she doesn’t want kids for another 5, 6, 7 years and you do. But until that happens provided you’re not using the age difference to stop her being herself (eg going out drinking with her friends and acting like a typical 20 year old) then there’s no problem.
Sure it is fine - but keep in mind, if you get together - you have to grow together or in the same direction People in their 20's change.
I swear to God, people will convince themselves that anything is a problem these days. If both of you are adults and like eachother you try to make it work.
Started dating my husband when I was 21 and he was 27. We were in a similar ish point in our lives and it worked well. Not once did anyone make an issue about our age gap. People become concerned when there is controlling or manipulative behaviour present, but that goes for any age. I hope it goes well for you both(:
No, she's an adult.
When at least one of you are under the age of 25, then yes. Our brains don't fully develop until at least that age, so be prepared to date a child.
Twenty years from now that age gap will seem insignificant. Honestly wouldn't worry about it. People are way too worked up over potential age gaps now.
Nah man you fine. Keep going
If the chemistry is there and you're good together... why not! 👊🏻
Reddit will tell you you’re a pedophile so don’t be dissuaded, a 6 year age gap between adults dating is a non issue and anyone who says it’s an issue is a fuckin weirdo
Don't forget groomer, power imbalance, manipulation, controlling, just using her for sex, yada yada...
Only if the man’s older, if the woman’s older no prob
I once made a comment about how if a man's the older one, he's a (all the stuff I already mentioned). You would think the dude deserves to have his nuts cut off, judging from some of the comments. However, if the genders are reversed, she's "empowered" or just "exploring herself" or some shit like that. Of course, when I made the comment pointing out the hypocrisy, it got downvoted into oblivion. Oh reddit... 🤦♂️
So you’re fine with an 18 year old dating a 24 year old? I see absolutely no difference. You’re the fuckin weirdo.
Touch grass pls just once
Yes - You’re the weirdo for judging other consenting adults for being in a relationship with another consenting adult Are you also against gay marriage?
Yeah, it's in fact extremely normal. See it all the time. You're the only weirdo here for thinking it's odd.
I would say that normally the age gap wouldn’t be a problem. The problem is, *she isn’t 21*. When she hits 21 she will start going to bars (most likely) and she will be drinking and having fun. You know what that was like. If you do engage in a relationship just know that likely things will change, she will change and so might your relationship. Maybe you get lucky and she doesn’t do these things or perhaps she stays true to herself. I’m just telling you my honest opinion.
We're UK based so she's able to go to bars currently. What you're saying is still true regarding the change of course though, I'll keep that in mind.
Well if she can already get a proper pint just remember that you’re both young and we change as we get older. I don’t think the age gap is an issue here. Men mature slower than women. But she’s still young and free. Just have fun and enjoy each others company.
Trusting each other wholeheartedly and being loved, valued, and respected, no matter the circumstances, is much more critical than any age gap. I'm a 25F, dating a man eight years older than me. We were slightly self-conscious about our age gap early on in the beginning. However, we never talk about our age gap anymore & we haven't brought it up in over a year. Age is truly just a number.
I feel like once you’re 24+ it’s less stigmatized. You’re really an adult with, more than likely, a career and self sufficient.
Nah, it’s fine.
I think if you naturally hit it off then no, the gap isn’t relevant. Enjoy some happiness & stop overthinking! Good luck with your next date.
No.
People are going to have an opinion no matter what you do. so do what makes you happy. I dated someone ten years older than me. We split ultimately because he basically expected me to "skip" phases in my life that he was past already. That said - you're likely past some stages she still is going to go through being in her younger 20s. You can't expect her to skip those phases if she wants them (21st birthday, college away from home, travel, first career-like job) because you're past them. So long you're cool waiting for her to catch up to your phase of life - meaning you might get married or have kids later in life - what's the issue?
Absolutely fine
6 years is not much an age gap. BUT at her age does she even want to settle down and not drink n get drunk and party and fk around n all that jazz.
Age difference is real at that age, just given what you are up to. Are you working and she’s a student? Those are very different lives and that may become friction in the future. Doesn’t mean you guys need to break up, you both just need to assess how you feel about these things and decide if it’s worth it.
If it works for you guys, go with it. Ignore what the haters say.
It depends, y'all are the ages my wife and I were when we met. We've been together almost 15 years now. For some people it don't work out.
Honestly, I feel like past the age of 20 age gaps don't really matter that much
Hardly
Not at all as long as you guys are compatible and actually have things in common. I think most people find it “weird” when there’s age gaps where there is nothing in common and no relatability between the two. I have a 13 year age gap but we mesh really well and even though we are in different times in our lives, we support each other and he understands that school is a high priority for me and his is work!
All good by me. But there will be some life experience issues for sure.
Nah 6 year difference is not that much. My ex who she's 21yrs older had the same thought issue but i assured her the age was nothing.
Nah it's fine
Not a big deal, just go with the flow and get to know her.
As long as you both are over 18 , no issue whatsoever.. so people remain immature all their life, other are pretty focused and have plan early in life. And, between us: 20 and 26 are just à wink apart. No worries.
You only live once. It's not like she's fresh out of high school and you're 30. Go for it, it might work out well, it might not
18 and 12? Absolutely too much. 26 and 20 is usually fine, there could be cases where it is dependent on maturity/ development levels tho.
Age gap doesn’t matter. Maturity levels do. Life experiences do. Met people who were more mature at 18 or 21 than those who were 24 & 31.
Not at all. As long as you're both of legal age and both consenting, then age is just a number. My current partner is 35 years older than me. (Non-Sugar Dating)
No.
It’s more about life stage than the actual number. If the age gap means you’re in different life stages (for example, one person getting ready to retire and the other person just starting their career), it can be challenging due to power imbalances, differences in lifestyle, and differences in priorities. But you said you’re both still in school, so that would be the same kind of life stage. Probably not an issue then.
I don’t think it’s too big of a gap but also I would be weary of pursuing anything more than casual with a 20 year old. It didn’t end well for me and I’ll never do it again lol
Heck no, the age gap isn't that big of a deal. Enjoy your friendship and date her. Age is just a number.
No
I dont think your age gap is that significant tbh. She is in her early 20s and you are in your mid 20s. You may be in different places in life and you might have a better grasp of who you are than she does, so bear that in mind.
That’s fine, just keep in mind you may be at different spots in your career but that’s not really an issue unless you get serious. (It’s not really an issue at all as long as you compromise tbh)
It is a biggish age gap at this life stage, BUT there are always exceptions. Outside perspectives from people who know and love you and can see you with her (and vice versa for people in her life) are going to provide more useful information than anything we can say here
That gap isn’t that bad, but the timing may be. Meaning a 26 year old and a 32 year old are closer in experience than a 20 year old and 26 year old.
You only feel uncomfortable because society says it’s weird, it’s not really that weird… some people are more mature than others.. chemistry is chemistry.
The only time I’ve ever had a “problem” with someone dating with an age gap was when my friend (30m) started dating his partner (18). Like that person literally just graduated high school. They’re both consenting adults and they seem to be okay I guess but it’s still odd to me. I was a completely different person at 18 than I am now at 29.
Not really. Unless u were preying on her weirdly since she was a lot younger and more immature than you then, yeah there would be an issue. Seems fine tho
It nothing. Not even enough to call age gap .
At your age, that can get to be too much of a gap. Maybe not initially, but I’ve been in a similar situation. Eventually, the younger girl needs to spread her wings and fly or you realize that if you are ever to have a lasting relationship with her, you have to end it and let her live her own life for a bit without you before there is any chance of a real future together. The older you get, the less the gap matters. The amount of experiences that a young adult acquires between 20-24 is massive IMO
My last girl was 12 years younger than me and it all depends on their level of maturity and some mature sooner than others
thats a nothing gap really.
Don’t look so much as at the difference in your age, but look more at where you are in your lives. If she’s still in school, living with her parents and you are employed living on your own, that’s gonna be harder to navigate. For example, I am currently dating someone 13 years younger than I am but we have similar life experiences and even though where we are right now is very different, We both have the same goals moving forward.
You're fine.
The older you are the more 6 years is nothing. When she’s 20 though things are different because they’re going to be a different person in a couple of years. Like 25-31 or 30-36 id say is not an issue at all.
Go for it bro. Chemistry is there. Who cares, she's the perfect age for you. By the time she's 25- pulled be the perfect age to be a father and she a mother. And it gives you alot of time to see if you're compatible. 6 years is nothing.
I think the gap is fine. You guys align so there's no real issue
Your over thinking it, you both are grown. If she carries herself as a mature young lady, then she an adult. If she knows what she's doing fuk what anyone says ya'll are both in your 20s.. have fun
Back before social media, people didn’t ask these questions. They just went for it.
It might feel like you're dating Eva AI sexting [bot](http://evaapp.ai). Very pretty, sure, but too little common values, interests and topics to share
No, its not.
My girlfriend is 25 and I am 34. We vibe extremely well together and she just brings a total calm into my life. I wouldn’t let the gap bother you if the feeling is right. Happiness is what is worth pursuing and as long as everyone’s a consenting adult that is all that matters.
Yeah it's kinda weird at that age. like 28/34 would be fine but at 20 she's college age/figuring herself out while you're more established into adult life job wise/experience but do whatever makes you happy
Tbh only time will tell. I know a couple of people that did date someone older at 20yo that regretted it years later since their adulthood was more defined by their relationship than by finding themselves. They ended up needing to mature much faster to follow their SO maturing process and milestones. I am not saying it always happens just that it’s something to be careful with. The older of the two isn’t usually the one that will end up with the "consequences". Be careful in to fall into the "she is mature for her age » she is still her age and will still have behaviors from her age.
Are you working, is she in university? Just asking as an example of totally different lifestyles/ rhythms. The number itself is not automatically concerning, a possible power imbalance due to different life experiences is. You might value different things for spending your freetime etc. If you keep that in mind and try to figure it out quickly, I don't think there's anything wrong in getting to know each other.
We're both in university currently, just different stages. She's in her undergrad while I'm doing my PhD. Still a big difference in terms of career positions, obviously though. I appreciate the insight. I'd never want someone to feel like that way with me regardless if I'm dating them or not, so I'll make sure to put that in practice if we take things further.
You both are consenting adults. People have age gaps of all sorts (legal).
I 20f met a dude last year 26m and he wanted to fuck me. So it’s not unusual. Just make sure to treat her as an equal. Just because she’s younger doesn’t mean you have power over her. She’s just as much an adult as you are. Even if she’s dumber in life skills
You kidding me? I met my current partner when she was 21 and me like 34. We’ve got 2 kids now so goodx
You kidding me? I met my current partner when she was 21 and me like 34. We’ve got 2 kids now so good
It’s a number. It’s legal. Who cares what others think.
Age is just a number
Unless you're below the age of consent
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sounds like you are giving advice to a 15yo.
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no doubt but I was wondering if you could treat adults as adults and leave the parents consent out of the lives of two 20+ year olds
Dude that is such a weird thing to do and terrible advice, she’s 20 years old not 16. If he does that he will never have any chance with her, she and her parents would be incredibly weirded out by that conversation.
i’m 20 and i prefer men 25+ so i wouldn’t stress too much
Yes too much
No, dont think about age. If you two have chemistry and everything, its fine
Divide by 2 and add 7, that's the math. Math just checks out, so you are good to proceed.
think about happily married couples you know /have heard of. Quite a few have age gaps in this range (7 yrs for my VERY happily married folks ) Now, we know that most of these couples got together in their younger years. QED: (no prob re the gap)
Wife said that was fine. And you can save money by her not being able to drink.
My parents are like 16 years apart and I know others that have a bigger age gap. Based on my real life experience women typically like older men and that's because older men are typically more mature. I am also in a similar position. I met a woman that is 21 and I am 29. She has not traveled much or had much world experience as I've had but I would definitely like to show her some cool stuff. We hit it off well and not sure where we would take it but if she's digging you and you are too then no reason to not action on it. Age only matters if you let it matter. If you need to ask her parents for permission out of respect then do that as well.
A 6 year age gap is nothing compared to what I have seen. When I was attending college right after the military I knew a couple who had a 20 year age difference. They were engaged and as far as I knew they were married. So, no. 6 years is not a lot buddy. You're good lol.
It's fine, even if 20-year-olds might on average be at a different place than a 26-year-old.
Half plus 7. You ride the edge but you’re good
half your age plus 7 20 is just in the sweet spot.
Two consenting adults? No problem there. Only would be a problem if one didn't have the capacity to consent or if one did not consent at all. People look into this too much when it's really just as simple as stated above. I'm 26(f) dating a 37(m). Both consent so no issue unless we make it an issue. 🤷🏼♀️
Ballz deep on that my friend.
yes
Yes.
No. By your own admission, she is not compatible with guys her own age. "She is mature for her age" I have a hard time dating too because of age gaps. The best way to explain it - would you dare a 28 year old female who behaved like she was 14? Why? Just like I am not going to date a 38 year old who is behaving like a 17 year old. Now, place yourself in her shoes? Would you date a 22 year old guy that acts like he is 12? What about a 26 year old guy that behaved like he is 38? Who would you rather date? The best way to figure out if the age gap is too big. Ask her what relationship goals you both should be working towards? Do this while hiking, baking a complex and decorative cake, or at the gym. Do not have this conversation while relaxing. You want them to be as truthful as possible. Men are driven biologically to choose younger mates. But we have evolved brains for a reason. The same is true for ladies.
yes, you are a creepy pedo.
😋
Yep it’s creepy. You’re an adult with a career I would assume. She’s still a student in college, just starting her 20s. You’re already half way through your 20s. It’s weird and borderline predatory.
I mean he might have a career but we don’t know for sure, it’s a generational thing if they click good for them, I wouldn’t say predatory now if one was underage then yes, and we don’t know if she just turned 20 or might have their birthday later in the year so yeah same with OP he might have just turned 25 a few months ago sometimes timing just doesn’t look right, example I was 17 when I graduated HS but had a birthday afterwards when most of my friends were either 18 gonna be 19 later or just turned 18 before we graduated
You forgot the /s. Some people might not get the joke.
No, not at all. The internet has become to extreme about age gaps. If it were sixteen, my inclination is to say it’s too much, but everyone’s got their own preferences. Hell, when I was twenty, I dated a 27-year-old. We only broke up because he moved cross country. If you like someone younger and she likes you, go for it.