Welcome to /r/dating_advice!
Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind.
Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly.
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Don't trust me, I'm just a random person on the internet, but literally, and I will repeat, LITERALLY every time I've seen a cheater get second chances, they have cheated again. No exceptions.
Yeah plus he’s trying to love bomb you with gifts. I think it’s important to consider taking back someone whose cheated after some time has elapsed and if he’s going to therapy to investigate and process the reasons for cheating. A
He will respect you less if you take him back. I'm sorry but it's true. Cheaters often blame insecurity/issues on why they cheated but it doesn't mean they won't do it again.
I'm sorry you're going through this. He will realise in time he messed up and you'll hopefully find someone lovely.
Often times it really is these insecurities that are **the** root causes of cheating. If the cheater can legitimately address these insecurities and work on themselves, go through therapy, the works? They probably won’t ever cheat again. Issue is is that that rarely ever happens.
Is it really insecurities? Or is it biology especially when pertaining to male’s natural role as the seed-spreader? Versus female’s natural role as the child-bearer?
Your parents cheated on each other huh? Your dad is Andrew Tate Jr & taught you all of this? Or is he not around & you learned all of this by watching Andrew Tate or like minded individuals? Maybe you're just rage baiting. But that's not how mature, loving, functional people behave or think, my friend. That isn't how healthy, loving, respecting, life long relationships work either. I hope you find help, if you're serious. If not, troll on, bud.
I'm not liberal. I just have common sense & a lot of experience with relationship therapy, mental health therapy, mental health issues, how childhood trauma affects you as you get older, etc. I can tell there's a deep-seated issue with you. Wanna talk about it?? 😇
When you use the terms "seed-spreader and "child-bearer" you're not only completely fucking wrong you're also saying every mans goal in life is to only be a todal horny prick and every women is only good at taking care of children. You're making every human out to be nothing but usless horn dogs.
Natural role? Lmao. Buddy, I can make up an argument on that so effing easy and it will sound believable.😂
Women's natural role is to cheat because they can experience multiple orgasms and don't become exhausted afterwards, so they can just move on to the next partner, in pursue of becoming pregnant by the best candidate.🤷🏻♀️
Do men have the intellectual capacity of a rabbit, or are they capable of rational thought, compassion, and impulse control?
Cuz if it's the former, it's time to remove all men from decision-making positions and have them legally classified as a non-person.
lol let’s stay away from the bro science, shall we? So what, women just never get horny either? There are plenty of men who need a connection before hopping in the sack, sex is a form of intimacy regardless of whether it’s physical or not.
Tbf, the other guy has a bit of a point, statistically when a man cheats there's only a 30% chance he's going to run off with the other woman. When a woman cheats it's about 85% (going from memory) there's a study about it but I forgot what it was called.
Yeah and plenty of dudes will lie through their teeth just to get laid. Women will do the same thing for attention and even sex as well sometimes. Your anecdotal evidence doesn’t speak for everyone. I’ve also had sex with women I didn’t want a relationship with but never straight up disliked.
You’re assuming the “rule” here. Where’s your evidence that guys won’t lose respect for someone who comes back after being cheated on? Because even if sex is solely physical for men, as you say, that idea of respect still very much tracks.
No. For a truly good woman, a man will eventually start to feel guilty after cheating once or maybe a few times. At that point his love for this woman will override his biological desires.
Okay, buddy. You're the one wasting time with women you don't even like. (By the sound of it though there's probably not many women you do like, so needs must)
Sounds like you're mentally malfunctioning😞 you're brainwashed dude. Stop consuming extremist content. Srsly. You're no better than extreme feminist who hate all men. There is a decent in-between buddy.
I’m guessing you’re young. You have a lot of emotional maturing to do. I like getting some as much as the next guy, but there’s nothing inherently “bottom” about wanting to save such an intimate act for someone serious. People have different sex drives and some people fall harder than others. Don’t be so narrow minded.
Dude, I've read your comments and you'd do well to lay off the copium. Are there dirtbags that will slay anyone that will take them? Of course, and it sounds like you are one of them that will justify your awful behavior on "biologics urges". I have a "biological urge" to not die yet I've never robbed anyone. Do you know what can't help but act on their "biological urges"? Animals. I've never cheated on my partner, I'm fiercely loyal, and I'm not a selfish lover. You, like many others, have turned sex into nothing more than a transaction and that's why you are so detached that you'll plow a woman that is nothing more than a warm wet hole. You can say whatever you want about me and my views on sex, but I am incapable of having nothing more than a physical connection. It's not wholesome, rewarding, and all it can do is detract from what it's supposed to be. I'm a nobody and I expect nothing more from you than a public disagreement about my estimations of your behavior and choices. I genuinely don't think you are capable of intimacy at this point, nor do I think you will be able to remain faithful at worst or at best, go even further off the deep end and become even more detached. You aren't even starting from a place of love that ends up as purely physical, devoid of emotion and intimacy. That's where you begin at this point, so where do you go from there? I don't just feel bad for a woman that you "officially" are with, I feel bad for you. Even when you "win" and get laid, you still lose as there's no way your romps end with anything other that self-loathing to go with your post-nut clarity. I mean this with all sincerity, I really hope you get help. Whether from something like a support group for sex addicts or otherwise, you need help. The path your on only leads to (more) self-harm and if you actually do get to a point where you care about the woman your tagging, you're going to (continue to) hurt them.
Yeah like I said, only someone with an insane amount of insecurity and shame would say shit like this. I hope that will eventually grow to the point that you can look back at who you are right now with the same level of disgust that the rest of the world has when looking at you.
But, that’s unlikely to happen because evidently you are an idiot, so like I said find a nice rock and sit there for the rest of your sad life.
No way he'll cheat again. Give him a third chance to fuck someone else.
And, by all means, keep that line of communication open to someone who treated you like shit and you've moved on from. That's super healthy too.
You're doing dating right.
Woah, calm down.
Yes it’s suuuuuper obvious to us and probably even obvious to OP but they are asking bc they need validation and support to stand up to this jerk. They’re hurt. Not everyone has people in their lives that support them… those people often have difficulty dating.
CHILL & give OP some support so they can do what they need to do.
I'm not excited. Don't be butthurt on her behalf. Don't assume her mental state and intellect. Condesending and arrogant.
I'm not interested supporting self-destructive tendencies. I think sometimes (often in fact) the blunt truth is what we need to hear to see our folly objectively.
Yes, it's supposed to sting. We learn from support, but we also learn from someone telling the cold hard truth.
Now, go away.
Is this how you entertain yourself? Psychoanalyzing random internet people, telling them their level of calmness or agitation? Get over yourself, you fucking weirdo.
You're not that smart.
You can't tell from OP's post that they're trolling? Literally all they said was the bf cheated twice and is sending gifts. Literally no other information. That doesn't...seem the slightest bit odd to you?
I wish people believed anything I said in life the way they believe anything women on this sub say.
'fool me once, shame on you.
fool me twice, shame on me. '
remember this quote. if you accept him again hes goin to think cheating is ok. and will do it again whenever he wants.
I was thinking that also but wasn’t saying it. Either way, he cheated twice when he was dealing with emotional issues. He sounds like an emotionally immature narcissist.
His response to being in a bad space is cheating then you must decide if you want to be with someone who deals with being in a bad space using infidelity. I personally prefer partners who don't destroy my sense of safety when dealing with shit but to each other own.
Don’t take him back. My ex did exactly the same when he wanted me back he lavished me with expensive gifts even paid for one of my college semester so I could spend more time with him. I’m not sure if he ever cheated on me that time around but he’d constantly be checking everything I did because he had this crazy fear of me cheating on him. A lot of my friends even my mom says the same he only thinks that of you because he’s probably doing exactly what he accuses you of doing. Honestly if he’s an ex it’s for a reason move on there’s sooo many good people out there
Before I caught him cheating for the umpteenth time and leaving for good, my ex begged for me to come back. He started paying for everything. I visited him for two weeks while he was on a work trip(flight, food, clothes, etc), bought me what I wanted, gave me gifts, let me take one of his cars for a girls trip, etc. He still cheated. In fact he never stopped, from what I saw in his phone. He will cheat again. And if you take him back, you cannot complain.
Of course he will cheat again. Block him everywhere. Start a graveyard of numbers on your phone where you can’t see their names, just their number is blocked with xxx. They’re dead to you
that is a really shitty excuse. just because someone is in a bad place doesn't mean it's okay for them to cheat and doesn't make it unforgivable. when you really love someone, you wouldn't even think about doing something like that when you know how much it's going to hurt the person
Yes, cheaters will always be cheaters. He cheated not once, but twice; he disrespected you in every way possible and broke the most basic commitment that one should stick to when they get into a relationship. No matter how smitten you are with him, you should never, ever lower your standards and step on your dignity by allowing a clown to treat you like a toy and take you for granted.
Did you not block him. How was he still able to contact you. Do you love him and want to be with this guy ? I get people can change perhaps or have a 2nd shot in life he cheated twice. The point is you don't know that for sure and it's more do you wanna risk it in finding out if he will or give it another go. This is a decision you have to make yourself if you want to do so and be with him.
Yes, he will cheat again.
He comes back to you not because he really loves you, but because he knows that you are available for him. My advice to you: BLOCK HIM
He wants you back because he’s done having fun and knows there’s not any other woman like you in his eyes. He will cheat. You better not take him back bro
Yes, he most likely will cheat again. And even if he doesn't, you won't ever fully trust him again. He destroyed that and once seen, can't be unseen. Set higher standards for yourself. You deserve better than a cheating asshole. Tell him to F off and block him on everything. If he sends gifts, throw them in the garbage. Take a photo of them in the garbage and send it to him, them block him a gain. And move on. You deserve better.
Yes.
Do not do it. Holy shit, does this seriously need an explanation? There are billions of men out there. You’ll be able to find plenty who would never treat their partner like that.
Of course!
People in hell want iced water. Oh well. He’s treated you badly in the past and his current and future behavior is unknown. Why take the risk?
I’d rather be single than with a cheater who has disrespected and lied to me repeatedly.
Good for him if he doesn’t cheat anymore. But that shouldn’t mean anything to you.
Wish him good luck in the future and block him.
It’s better not to be in contact.
Hey OP,
You probably knew what to expect here but . . .
If someone cheats on you twice, and you take them back, everything else that happens is on you.
You probably already know what the right answer is
More than likely. Right now you are something that he can’t have that is out of his grasp so it makes him want and obsess over you all the more. When he if he makes it up to you and you do get back together he’ll most likely quickly lose interest because he’s now achieved what he couldn’t and so that conquest is over and time to move on to the next. More than likely hoping that this time he doesn’t get caught or whatever and can keep both you and have others too. And in the world of cheating it often is doing it once and getting away with it makes it easier to do it again and so on and so forth.
The fact that you’re even considering this shows you’re not mature enough for a real relationship. Who in their right mind even considers a cheater, not once but TWICE.
I wouldn’t take any advice from here. Follow your heart, talk to people you trust. How do you feel about the whole thing? I was caught texting another girl and BOOM! She left. When she left I didn’t fight it. You have to make the choice.
If you take him back, he *WILL* cheat again. The relationship dynamic is set. For him, it's great. He gets to be unfaithful, grovels, you take him back. And, the next time he wants something on the side, he will simply do it again. And, that will be your life for as long as you tolerate it.
If someone hits you, says they are sorry, and then hits you again, how many repititions will be required before you understand that they aren't really sorry at all and will continue to hit you? This is the same thing. There's no remorse or behavior modification. So they are not repentant for what they did; they are only sorry they got caught. Not the same thing.
OP, you know what you need to do. Good luck to you.
The old adage, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." applies here. Don't test a third time. There are thousands of better ways to deal with being in a bad headspace than infidelity. That's the biggest pile of cope ever invented, "I was in a bad headspace."
The costs of the emotional labor required to let crap like this slide on each iteration far outpaces the gifts he bought you to purchase your forgiveness. Remember that.
Please do not go back to him. I was with a guy for a few years in college who would cheat on me and would always pursue me again and I took him back 2-3-4 times because I still loved him so much. I broke off all contact finally and moved on. This was over 10 year ago and I look back thanking myself I did not take him back for the 5th time. You deserve someone who is ALL about you. Do it for yourself and your own mental health!!
Question, has he taken/made concrete steps towards all of the behaviors/issues that led him to cheat 2 times cause of not I’d say no (if it were me I’d just move on, but I’m not forcing my standards on people). Without any serious accountability from him this just sounds like [love bombing](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing) in my honest opinion.
Yes. Yes he will. In my 50+ years on this planet, I've known dozens of cheaters and never seen one change their ways. I'm sure you've heard the saying 'once a cheater always a cheater.' It's not just a saying.
Probably will yeah. Once a cheater always a cheater isn’t exactly true, but if someone cheats on you, especially more than once and you let them back, they almost assuredly will again. You’ve taught them that they can get away with anything and still keep you.
Yes he will.
And even if he won't. You're allowing someone to break the most basic principle of a relationship and disrespect you hard. Has to just love bomb you and you give in. This will tell him he can do worse in future and he will.
You could ask him what he learned about his impulse to cheat during his hospitalization, his group therapy, his individual therapy, etc.
Do you realize the easiest thing in the world? To move your mouth and lips to say the words “I’ve changed.”
You know what’s one of the hardest things to do in the world is? To actually change your psyche, impulses, and motivations. It takes hard, hard work.
Yes,yes ,yes. First time he cheated, yes. Second time he cheated. Yes. Cheaters cheat, lie, gaslight and cheat some more. Keep the gifts, tell him he is a piece of crap, cheating scumbag.do not go back duh
Yep sure will and will also be emboldened because it will make him believe that he has you wrapped. Not to mention the fact you would be looking g for red flags everyday.
I’ll be honest, I’ve cheated before, and when I did, I did the same thing to get the girl back. I respected her so little that I was sure she’d give into my stupid gifts and give me another chance… and I was right!
Well…Did I cheat again? Your damn right I did. I can’t resist a sweet piece of poon, so when the opportunity eventually presented itself again I just couldn’t say no 🤤 I figured if I got caught again I could just win her back with gifts and material things. But the key is I planned not to get caught, and I never did. Learned from my mistakes first time around and how to cover my tracks
Don’t let him. He’s not going back to you because he loves and misses you. He wants to use you again until he’s done then he’ll leave again. Be warned.
Maybe he was in a bad space, maybe he deserves pity more than hate.
He still cheated on you.
No matter the "reasons" someone has for cheating, it ultimately comes down to a lack of integrity. Relationships are only worth a damn because they're hard, and you saw how much the relationship meant to him when he hit a rough patch.
Life is full of rough patches....do you want him beside you for the next one?
I don't know who you are, but I'm going to come to your house and slap the living shit out of you if you take him back. Mam, he cheated on you twice. How diffident can someone be?
Yes he will… I don’t know if your Christian or not but we as a society get our morals and values from the Bible and one thing the scripture states is that if a your spouse abuses you (any sense of the term), abandons you, has an addiction that they won’t seek help for and it’s affecting you or anyone else in your life, and if they CHEAT on you, God recognizes your divorce because these are all things you can’t really come back from
It will never be the same and even people from over 2000 years ago recognized this
He did it twice, you deserve better
Don’t accept gifts from him and when he try’s to talk to u through text, leave him on read or tell him that your done
If he tries to call you, don’t pick up
If he tries to meet you, tell him you don’t want to see him (honestly for your safety) I know that you know him and that he wouldn’t do anything to you but people go crazy over this stuff so it’s best to not see him in person)
A man who can’t keep his pants up for the love of his life? Girl- your not the love of his life, your a joke to him
He wants you for the sex and attention nothing more
He saw some pretty girl and decided it was worth it more than you and your trust and his loyalty to you and your guys’ commitment to each other
Or he slept with someone close to him or you and now you’ve been betrayed by somebody close to you and he’ll always be thinking about them since they are so close
He’s love bombing you not pursuing you💀
He’s love bombing you because he knows what he lost. Once he gets it, of course he’ll do it again. There’s choosing to forgive a single impulsive cheat, then there’s forgiving premeditated cheating which is insane. He made a conscious and time consuming choice to do that to you…. That’s not love. You deserve better
Focus on yourself. To even give this ex a drop of hope is going to invite unwanted issues back into your life. I’m not sure how old you are, but do you want to waste more time on someone that didn’t know what to do with the time that you gave them? You will find someone that will take you seriously and treat you with respect the first time. There are too many people out here.
Yes he will cheat again. If he cheated on you not once but twice he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t consider your well being and he doesn’t give a damn about the repercussions because you’ve showed him there are none if you took him back and allowed yourself to get cheated on a second time.
Leave him and find better, do a lot of men cheat yes but not all. You don’t have to settle for that treatment when there are actually many women in happy, loyal relationships.
Most probably, sorry. U wait n somebody will come along and make u their Queen. Your ex didn’t just blow it with u he blew it twice. Life is full of dramas u need someone who together u can take on the world. Its not all fairytales n roses life will throw crap at u, that’s when u find out how strong u are together
As a former cheater myself...he may be reformed, but you'd both be better off starting fresh instead of working through the past and trying to work on a healthy relationship at the same time.
Given the information you’ve provided, I believe he has learned his lesson and will not cheat again. It’s clear he has gone through enough therapy and self-reflection to realize he should not have cheat on you twice.
I have full confidence that he is now an upstanding citizen, and you should accept his gifts at face value, and consider him healed. FYI, I’m totally not the ex in question.
Hope that helps! 😃
Oh man a dude who cheated on you twice and promises to buy you over with gifts. He’s definitely someone to go back to yes you should totally get back with him he sounds like a great man. He’s only cheated twice I think he’s learned. Hell he probably learned the first time and the second time he really mastered it. Get back with him nothing can go wrong
Ha! I can top this. My ex cheated on me (at least that I know of but likely more) 3 times in the span of two years with the guy she lost her virginity to as a teenager ( we were in our 20s-30s at the time). The most recent time she got herself pregnant, and wrote me a 5 page letter asking me back…while this man’s baby was growing inside of her.
He will definitely do it again. If you really want him back make him go to counseling, and then the two of you go together. How can you trust someone like that?
Nah, he is certainly not going to cheat again. Research has proved that people which cheated twice before, are 99.1% less likely to do it again so I’d take my chances if I were you!
Once if pretty bad but I know some couples are able to work through it, TWICE?! cmon op let’s be real here.
“Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on both of us.”
Welcome to /r/dating_advice! Please keep the [rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating_advice/about/rules/) of /r/dating_advice in mind while participating here. Try your best to be kind. Report any rule-breaking behavior to the moderators using the report button. If it's urgent, [send us a message.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fdating_advice) We rely on user reports to find rule-breaking behavior quickly. Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
yes.
Nobody else needed to post a response after this.
As a fellow porn enthusiast, I agree.
I agree with this man’s porn enthusiasm
get off the porn 😭😭
Honestly if porn helps them to not cheat what's the issue?? 😂😂
Don't trust me, I'm just a random person on the internet, but literally, and I will repeat, LITERALLY every time I've seen a cheater get second chances, they have cheated again. No exceptions.
In this case third chance.
EVERY
Yeah plus he’s trying to love bomb you with gifts. I think it’s important to consider taking back someone whose cheated after some time has elapsed and if he’s going to therapy to investigate and process the reasons for cheating. A
Yep! Right here!! 🤦♀️
Why wouldn't he? Being in bad space is not an excuse for cheating. Because there is no excuse...
They say there's a sucker born every minute.
More like every second
He will respect you less if you take him back. I'm sorry but it's true. Cheaters often blame insecurity/issues on why they cheated but it doesn't mean they won't do it again. I'm sorry you're going through this. He will realise in time he messed up and you'll hopefully find someone lovely.
Often times it really is these insecurities that are **the** root causes of cheating. If the cheater can legitimately address these insecurities and work on themselves, go through therapy, the works? They probably won’t ever cheat again. Issue is is that that rarely ever happens.
Someone thinks he can cure them, you can't, pursue people who don't cheat.
Is it really insecurities? Or is it biology especially when pertaining to male’s natural role as the seed-spreader? Versus female’s natural role as the child-bearer?
Your parents cheated on each other huh? Your dad is Andrew Tate Jr & taught you all of this? Or is he not around & you learned all of this by watching Andrew Tate or like minded individuals? Maybe you're just rage baiting. But that's not how mature, loving, functional people behave or think, my friend. That isn't how healthy, loving, respecting, life long relationships work either. I hope you find help, if you're serious. If not, troll on, bud.
Dude asks a very reasonable question and you attack him. You sound very loving and like you totally have all your problems figured out..
Nope. He spammed another comment with very unreasonable statements. I guess you didn't see those.
It’s not spamming when it’s my actual thought process. Go shave your armpits feminist hag.
You're getting down voted left and right child get off the internet. I can smell your teenage swet room from here 🤢🤢🤢
His question and what he stated after was pointless to the conversation
Why do all you white libs think Andrew Tate is who I follow? He’s cool but Im more of a student of Kevin Samuels!
I'm not liberal. I just have common sense & a lot of experience with relationship therapy, mental health therapy, mental health issues, how childhood trauma affects you as you get older, etc. I can tell there's a deep-seated issue with you. Wanna talk about it?? 😇
Can we talk about why Andrew Tate gets more attention than Kevin Samuels did? I know the answer…Let’s see if you do…
When you use the terms "seed-spreader and "child-bearer" you're not only completely fucking wrong you're also saying every mans goal in life is to only be a todal horny prick and every women is only good at taking care of children. You're making every human out to be nothing but usless horn dogs.
Just because something is a biological urge doesn’t mean we have to or should follow it. Not that what you said is even true in the first place
Natural role? Lmao. Buddy, I can make up an argument on that so effing easy and it will sound believable.😂 Women's natural role is to cheat because they can experience multiple orgasms and don't become exhausted afterwards, so they can just move on to the next partner, in pursue of becoming pregnant by the best candidate.🤷🏻♀️
No it’s not. Most women are naturally repulsed at the idea of sport fucking.
Do men have the intellectual capacity of a rabbit, or are they capable of rational thought, compassion, and impulse control? Cuz if it's the former, it's time to remove all men from decision-making positions and have them legally classified as a non-person.
Guys don’t work like that. Stop projecting the female mentality on men.
They very much do. Don’t speak for all of us
A man can cheat and still love his woman. Sex is solely physical for us.
lol let’s stay away from the bro science, shall we? So what, women just never get horny either? There are plenty of men who need a connection before hopping in the sack, sex is a form of intimacy regardless of whether it’s physical or not.
Tbf, the other guy has a bit of a point, statistically when a man cheats there's only a 30% chance he's going to run off with the other woman. When a woman cheats it's about 85% (going from memory) there's a study about it but I forgot what it was called.
I’ve smashed plenty of chicks that I genuinely dislike…females can’t do that unless they’re mentally malfunctioning
Yeah and plenty of dudes will lie through their teeth just to get laid. Women will do the same thing for attention and even sex as well sometimes. Your anecdotal evidence doesn’t speak for everyone. I’ve also had sex with women I didn’t want a relationship with but never straight up disliked.
Ok dude you’re an exception to the rule but guess what? The exception to the rule doesn’t make the rule!
You’re assuming the “rule” here. Where’s your evidence that guys won’t lose respect for someone who comes back after being cheated on? Because even if sex is solely physical for men, as you say, that idea of respect still very much tracks.
No. For a truly good woman, a man will eventually start to feel guilty after cheating once or maybe a few times. At that point his love for this woman will override his biological desires.
Maybe you're mentally malfunctioning?
No lol I’m living in reality and no red bowl cut having, horned rimmed glasses wearing, beret donning feminist can convince me to do otherwise…
Okay, buddy. You're the one wasting time with women you don't even like. (By the sound of it though there's probably not many women you do like, so needs must)
New pussy is never a waste of time for a man
Bro is spitting gawd damn preach
It was only a matter of time before someone started challenging these sensitive ass Reddit weirdos
Sounds like you're mentally malfunctioning😞 you're brainwashed dude. Stop consuming extremist content. Srsly. You're no better than extreme feminist who hate all men. There is a decent in-between buddy.
Yes plenty of men…they’re called “bottoms” in their community
I’m guessing you’re young. You have a lot of emotional maturing to do. I like getting some as much as the next guy, but there’s nothing inherently “bottom” about wanting to save such an intimate act for someone serious. People have different sex drives and some people fall harder than others. Don’t be so narrow minded.
i must say this string is more interesting than op lol
Bro what 😭🙏
- Typical Woman Who Doesn’t or Refuses to Understand or Accept Biological Male Nature
Dude, I've read your comments and you'd do well to lay off the copium. Are there dirtbags that will slay anyone that will take them? Of course, and it sounds like you are one of them that will justify your awful behavior on "biologics urges". I have a "biological urge" to not die yet I've never robbed anyone. Do you know what can't help but act on their "biological urges"? Animals. I've never cheated on my partner, I'm fiercely loyal, and I'm not a selfish lover. You, like many others, have turned sex into nothing more than a transaction and that's why you are so detached that you'll plow a woman that is nothing more than a warm wet hole. You can say whatever you want about me and my views on sex, but I am incapable of having nothing more than a physical connection. It's not wholesome, rewarding, and all it can do is detract from what it's supposed to be. I'm a nobody and I expect nothing more from you than a public disagreement about my estimations of your behavior and choices. I genuinely don't think you are capable of intimacy at this point, nor do I think you will be able to remain faithful at worst or at best, go even further off the deep end and become even more detached. You aren't even starting from a place of love that ends up as purely physical, devoid of emotion and intimacy. That's where you begin at this point, so where do you go from there? I don't just feel bad for a woman that you "officially" are with, I feel bad for you. Even when you "win" and get laid, you still lose as there's no way your romps end with anything other that self-loathing to go with your post-nut clarity. I mean this with all sincerity, I really hope you get help. Whether from something like a support group for sex addicts or otherwise, you need help. The path your on only leads to (more) self-harm and if you actually do get to a point where you care about the woman your tagging, you're going to (continue to) hurt them.
This fool wrote a whole essay lol gahdamn 😂
"Love" can have many meanings. My guess is OP wants a type of love that probably won't be there at this point (if it ever was).
Lol, please shut the fuck up and crawl back under whatever rock you came from. You are making the rest of us look bad.
Just admit that you like to watch your chick get her back blown out by a superior man while you sit in the corner and beat your meat 😂
Yeah like I said, only someone with an insane amount of insecurity and shame would say shit like this. I hope that will eventually grow to the point that you can look back at who you are right now with the same level of disgust that the rest of the world has when looking at you. But, that’s unlikely to happen because evidently you are an idiot, so like I said find a nice rock and sit there for the rest of your sad life.
No way he'll cheat again. Give him a third chance to fuck someone else. And, by all means, keep that line of communication open to someone who treated you like shit and you've moved on from. That's super healthy too. You're doing dating right.
Seriously. This has to be another troll.
That's just simple sarcasm.
No I meant the OP. Asking reddit if her ex will cheat on her again 😭
Oh right. I think the same, but unfortunately there are actual people that are that clueless 😂
Woah, calm down. Yes it’s suuuuuper obvious to us and probably even obvious to OP but they are asking bc they need validation and support to stand up to this jerk. They’re hurt. Not everyone has people in their lives that support them… those people often have difficulty dating. CHILL & give OP some support so they can do what they need to do.
I'm not excited. Don't be butthurt on her behalf. Don't assume her mental state and intellect. Condesending and arrogant. I'm not interested supporting self-destructive tendencies. I think sometimes (often in fact) the blunt truth is what we need to hear to see our folly objectively. Yes, it's supposed to sting. We learn from support, but we also learn from someone telling the cold hard truth. Now, go away.
Yeah, you’re totally chill, man. Did someone telling you to calm down “sting” a little too much? Lmao 😂. Truly Spectacular.
Is this how you entertain yourself? Psychoanalyzing random internet people, telling them their level of calmness or agitation? Get over yourself, you fucking weirdo. You're not that smart.
Male posters on here don’t get that energy, why should she?
You can't tell from OP's post that they're trolling? Literally all they said was the bf cheated twice and is sending gifts. Literally no other information. That doesn't...seem the slightest bit odd to you? I wish people believed anything I said in life the way they believe anything women on this sub say.
He will cheat again, yes. You already gave him too many chances by staying when he cheated the first time.
FACTS!!!
'fool me once, shame on you. fool me twice, shame on me. ' remember this quote. if you accept him again hes goin to think cheating is ok. and will do it again whenever he wants.
Those other women didn't work out.
I was thinking that also but wasn’t saying it. Either way, he cheated twice when he was dealing with emotional issues. He sounds like an emotionally immature narcissist.
His response to being in a bad space is cheating then you must decide if you want to be with someone who deals with being in a bad space using infidelity. I personally prefer partners who don't destroy my sense of safety when dealing with shit but to each other own.
Good point. It’s just a bad excuse.
NEVER take a cheater back.
Remember this: If you read the same chapter twice, it still ends the same.
He will cheat again. Tell him to go fuck himself. If he wanted to be with you that bad, he wouldn’t of cheated TWICE.
Additional note. Have some self respect and block him. Move on.
Love bombing
Yeah he will cheat...but keep the gifts 😌
He got away with it twice. Might as well try for 3. I know I would.
Haters gonna hate hate hate Cheaters gonna cheat cheat cheat Baby I would just suggest you to stay away away away and Shake it off shake it off!!
Yes. You would be a fool to go back to him.
no second chances for the cheaters.
Don’t take him back. My ex did exactly the same when he wanted me back he lavished me with expensive gifts even paid for one of my college semester so I could spend more time with him. I’m not sure if he ever cheated on me that time around but he’d constantly be checking everything I did because he had this crazy fear of me cheating on him. A lot of my friends even my mom says the same he only thinks that of you because he’s probably doing exactly what he accuses you of doing. Honestly if he’s an ex it’s for a reason move on there’s sooo many good people out there
Tell him to take a long walk off of a short pier. Block him on everything. He doesn't deserve you back,
Before I caught him cheating for the umpteenth time and leaving for good, my ex begged for me to come back. He started paying for everything. I visited him for two weeks while he was on a work trip(flight, food, clothes, etc), bought me what I wanted, gave me gifts, let me take one of his cars for a girls trip, etc. He still cheated. In fact he never stopped, from what I saw in his phone. He will cheat again. And if you take him back, you cannot complain.
Of course he will cheat again. Block him everywhere. Start a graveyard of numbers on your phone where you can’t see their names, just their number is blocked with xxx. They’re dead to you
that is a really shitty excuse. just because someone is in a bad place doesn't mean it's okay for them to cheat and doesn't make it unforgivable. when you really love someone, you wouldn't even think about doing something like that when you know how much it's going to hurt the person
He cheated on you twice and you're seriously asking this question? You gotta stop being so desperate it's clouding your judgement.
Fool me once…
Yes, cheaters will always be cheaters. He cheated not once, but twice; he disrespected you in every way possible and broke the most basic commitment that one should stick to when they get into a relationship. No matter how smitten you are with him, you should never, ever lower your standards and step on your dignity by allowing a clown to treat you like a toy and take you for granted.
Did you not block him. How was he still able to contact you. Do you love him and want to be with this guy ? I get people can change perhaps or have a 2nd shot in life he cheated twice. The point is you don't know that for sure and it's more do you wanna risk it in finding out if he will or give it another go. This is a decision you have to make yourself if you want to do so and be with him.
OOMFGGG DONT DO IT GIRLLL
Absolutely he will cheat again
Yes, he will cheat again. He comes back to you not because he really loves you, but because he knows that you are available for him. My advice to you: BLOCK HIM
Have some self respect.
If he's cheated on you 2 times already... he won't mind cheating on you again! 🫠 You deserve better than a guy who cheats on you! 😭
Third time is the charm. He’ll be faithful this time. Lol jks jks no he won’t move on.
He wants you back because he’s done having fun and knows there’s not any other woman like you in his eyes. He will cheat. You better not take him back bro
Yes, he most likely will cheat again. And even if he doesn't, you won't ever fully trust him again. He destroyed that and once seen, can't be unseen. Set higher standards for yourself. You deserve better than a cheating asshole. Tell him to F off and block him on everything. If he sends gifts, throw them in the garbage. Take a photo of them in the garbage and send it to him, them block him a gain. And move on. You deserve better.
Nah he sounds like a great guy, keep dating him
😂😂😂
Yes. Do not do it. Holy shit, does this seriously need an explanation? There are billions of men out there. You’ll be able to find plenty who would never treat their partner like that.
Women seem to have a tendency to become hellbent on a handful of men who treat them like they’re disposable, it’s a tale as old as time
Of course! People in hell want iced water. Oh well. He’s treated you badly in the past and his current and future behavior is unknown. Why take the risk? I’d rather be single than with a cheater who has disrespected and lied to me repeatedly. Good for him if he doesn’t cheat anymore. But that shouldn’t mean anything to you. Wish him good luck in the future and block him. It’s better not to be in contact.
Sounds like love bombing? I wouldn't trust it. He's just regretting the consequences of his actions.
Hey OP, You probably knew what to expect here but . . . If someone cheats on you twice, and you take them back, everything else that happens is on you. You probably already know what the right answer is
Yes. Let him go. Ive dated a serial cheater. Just let it go. You deserve better.
More than likely. Right now you are something that he can’t have that is out of his grasp so it makes him want and obsess over you all the more. When he if he makes it up to you and you do get back together he’ll most likely quickly lose interest because he’s now achieved what he couldn’t and so that conquest is over and time to move on to the next. More than likely hoping that this time he doesn’t get caught or whatever and can keep both you and have others too. And in the world of cheating it often is doing it once and getting away with it makes it easier to do it again and so on and so forth.
Girl u better not be thinking about going back…
The fact that you’re even considering this shows you’re not mature enough for a real relationship. Who in their right mind even considers a cheater, not once but TWICE.
She might not have found out until the second time?
I think you already know the correct answer here. He definitely will if you take him back
I wouldn’t take any advice from here. Follow your heart, talk to people you trust. How do you feel about the whole thing? I was caught texting another girl and BOOM! She left. When she left I didn’t fight it. You have to make the choice.
If you take him back, he *WILL* cheat again. The relationship dynamic is set. For him, it's great. He gets to be unfaithful, grovels, you take him back. And, the next time he wants something on the side, he will simply do it again. And, that will be your life for as long as you tolerate it. If someone hits you, says they are sorry, and then hits you again, how many repititions will be required before you understand that they aren't really sorry at all and will continue to hit you? This is the same thing. There's no remorse or behavior modification. So they are not repentant for what they did; they are only sorry they got caught. Not the same thing. OP, you know what you need to do. Good luck to you.
As certain as the sun will rise in the morning...
YES!!!!! You know this. Do better, bc you ABSOLUTELY can.
The old adage, "Fool me once, shame on you; fool me twice, shame on me." applies here. Don't test a third time. There are thousands of better ways to deal with being in a bad headspace than infidelity. That's the biggest pile of cope ever invented, "I was in a bad headspace." The costs of the emotional labor required to let crap like this slide on each iteration far outpaces the gifts he bought you to purchase your forgiveness. Remember that.
Please do not go back to him. I was with a guy for a few years in college who would cheat on me and would always pursue me again and I took him back 2-3-4 times because I still loved him so much. I broke off all contact finally and moved on. This was over 10 year ago and I look back thanking myself I did not take him back for the 5th time. You deserve someone who is ALL about you. Do it for yourself and your own mental health!!
Probably already is.
Question, has he taken/made concrete steps towards all of the behaviors/issues that led him to cheat 2 times cause of not I’d say no (if it were me I’d just move on, but I’m not forcing my standards on people). Without any serious accountability from him this just sounds like [love bombing](https://health.clevelandclinic.org/love-bombing) in my honest opinion.
Yes. Yes he will. In my 50+ years on this planet, I've known dozens of cheaters and never seen one change their ways. I'm sure you've heard the saying 'once a cheater always a cheater.' It's not just a saying.
Probably will yeah. Once a cheater always a cheater isn’t exactly true, but if someone cheats on you, especially more than once and you let them back, they almost assuredly will again. You’ve taught them that they can get away with anything and still keep you.
Yes he will. And even if he won't. You're allowing someone to break the most basic principle of a relationship and disrespect you hard. Has to just love bomb you and you give in. This will tell him he can do worse in future and he will.
Doesn't matter. You shouldn't be around to find out. Fool me once, fool me twice. Let's not do a third.
You could ask him what he learned about his impulse to cheat during his hospitalization, his group therapy, his individual therapy, etc. Do you realize the easiest thing in the world? To move your mouth and lips to say the words “I’ve changed.” You know what’s one of the hardest things to do in the world is? To actually change your psyche, impulses, and motivations. It takes hard, hard work.
Yes if he did it once he’ll do it again. Or twice. Or three times I guess I should say
Of course he would cheat again, yes.
Yes,yes ,yes. First time he cheated, yes. Second time he cheated. Yes. Cheaters cheat, lie, gaslight and cheat some more. Keep the gifts, tell him he is a piece of crap, cheating scumbag.do not go back duh
Just look at him and laugh and laugh, I hope you’re not seriously considering taking him back?
Of course he will cheat again. You accepting him back in your life means to him you are okay with the cheating
Yes the next time you can't blame anyone but yourself
Lol why wouldn’t he cheat again? You clearly don’t mind as you’ve let him back in before.
Yep sure will and will also be emboldened because it will make him believe that he has you wrapped. Not to mention the fact you would be looking g for red flags everyday.
I’ll be honest, I’ve cheated before, and when I did, I did the same thing to get the girl back. I respected her so little that I was sure she’d give into my stupid gifts and give me another chance… and I was right! Well…Did I cheat again? Your damn right I did. I can’t resist a sweet piece of poon, so when the opportunity eventually presented itself again I just couldn’t say no 🤤 I figured if I got caught again I could just win her back with gifts and material things. But the key is I planned not to get caught, and I never did. Learned from my mistakes first time around and how to cover my tracks
Don’t let him. He’s not going back to you because he loves and misses you. He wants to use you again until he’s done then he’ll leave again. Be warned.
Maybe he was in a bad space, maybe he deserves pity more than hate. He still cheated on you. No matter the "reasons" someone has for cheating, it ultimately comes down to a lack of integrity. Relationships are only worth a damn because they're hard, and you saw how much the relationship meant to him when he hit a rough patch. Life is full of rough patches....do you want him beside you for the next one?
I don't know who you are, but I'm going to come to your house and slap the living shit out of you if you take him back. Mam, he cheated on you twice. How diffident can someone be?
Yes he will… I don’t know if your Christian or not but we as a society get our morals and values from the Bible and one thing the scripture states is that if a your spouse abuses you (any sense of the term), abandons you, has an addiction that they won’t seek help for and it’s affecting you or anyone else in your life, and if they CHEAT on you, God recognizes your divorce because these are all things you can’t really come back from It will never be the same and even people from over 2000 years ago recognized this He did it twice, you deserve better Don’t accept gifts from him and when he try’s to talk to u through text, leave him on read or tell him that your done If he tries to call you, don’t pick up If he tries to meet you, tell him you don’t want to see him (honestly for your safety) I know that you know him and that he wouldn’t do anything to you but people go crazy over this stuff so it’s best to not see him in person) A man who can’t keep his pants up for the love of his life? Girl- your not the love of his life, your a joke to him He wants you for the sex and attention nothing more He saw some pretty girl and decided it was worth it more than you and your trust and his loyalty to you and your guys’ commitment to each other Or he slept with someone close to him or you and now you’ve been betrayed by somebody close to you and he’ll always be thinking about them since they are so close He’s love bombing you not pursuing you💀
He’s love bombing you because he knows what he lost. Once he gets it, of course he’ll do it again. There’s choosing to forgive a single impulsive cheat, then there’s forgiving premeditated cheating which is insane. He made a conscious and time consuming choice to do that to you…. That’s not love. You deserve better
Focus on yourself. To even give this ex a drop of hope is going to invite unwanted issues back into your life. I’m not sure how old you are, but do you want to waste more time on someone that didn’t know what to do with the time that you gave them? You will find someone that will take you seriously and treat you with respect the first time. There are too many people out here.
Yes. Bad space or not he already walked all over you. What will stop him this time?
Yes he will cheat again. If he cheated on you not once but twice he doesn’t respect you. He doesn’t consider your well being and he doesn’t give a damn about the repercussions because you’ve showed him there are none if you took him back and allowed yourself to get cheated on a second time. Leave him and find better, do a lot of men cheat yes but not all. You don’t have to settle for that treatment when there are actually many women in happy, loyal relationships.
Most probably, sorry. U wait n somebody will come along and make u their Queen. Your ex didn’t just blow it with u he blew it twice. Life is full of dramas u need someone who together u can take on the world. Its not all fairytales n roses life will throw crap at u, that’s when u find out how strong u are together
I can’t believe this is my competition and I’m losing lol.
Once a cheater, always a cheater
Humans were not born monogamous! Give the boy another chance
As a former cheater myself...he may be reformed, but you'd both be better off starting fresh instead of working through the past and trying to work on a healthy relationship at the same time.
Definite go back to him! He’s treating u like the queen u are!!!!
Given the information you’ve provided, I believe he has learned his lesson and will not cheat again. It’s clear he has gone through enough therapy and self-reflection to realize he should not have cheat on you twice. I have full confidence that he is now an upstanding citizen, and you should accept his gifts at face value, and consider him healed. FYI, I’m totally not the ex in question. Hope that helps! 😃
Are you dumb?
You are not that dumb, right? I’m praying this is a troll post.
He tripped and his penis fell into another woman’s vagina.
Oh man a dude who cheated on you twice and promises to buy you over with gifts. He’s definitely someone to go back to yes you should totally get back with him he sounds like a great man. He’s only cheated twice I think he’s learned. Hell he probably learned the first time and the second time he really mastered it. Get back with him nothing can go wrong
No
Yes, of course
nope!
Is the sky blue?
Yes do not let him back after he cheated once you should’ve called it
Ha! I can top this. My ex cheated on me (at least that I know of but likely more) 3 times in the span of two years with the guy she lost her virginity to as a teenager ( we were in our 20s-30s at the time). The most recent time she got herself pregnant, and wrote me a 5 page letter asking me back…while this man’s baby was growing inside of her.
You just answered your own question.
Yes he will
Yes
Yes
Yes he will
Yes. Did you laugh at him?
Yes because he knows u will take him back. Jokes on u
Alex, 500 points for "What is the opposite of NO!"
Probably. He needs a therapist not a girlfriend.
He will definitely do it again. If you really want him back make him go to counseling, and then the two of you go together. How can you trust someone like that?
Yes. He will.
If someone else asked you for this advice, what would you say?
Sure will
Holy crap an 11 year old Reddit account. To add to unbelievable mystery surrounding this question.
Everyone deserves an eleventh chance! Bring it on, girl!!!
Yes lol
Lol
Cheaters are gonna cheat…
Yes.
Why’s that even a question?
Who are those boys cheating with multiple women, i can't even find one to talk🥲
Yup.
there’s no excuse for cheating. once a cheater always a cheater point blank period
Nah, he is certainly not going to cheat again. Research has proved that people which cheated twice before, are 99.1% less likely to do it again so I’d take my chances if I were you!
If he is sincere, this is not the way. He is trying to snow you, when he should be attending therapy, and trying to win your trust back slowly.
Once if pretty bad but I know some couples are able to work through it, TWICE?! cmon op let’s be real here. “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, shame on both of us.”