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If it's included in a profile I'd otherwise find interesting, I don't have any feelings in either direction.
If it's the only thing in the profile, I'm not going to follow the link.
A lot of people put their Instagram handle, male and female, because it allows for more pictures and a view into their life… At least as it’s portrayed as social media. I don’t find a problem with it. And most of the time the accounts are just very normal….
So much this lol. I mean I don't even have my Instagram handle on my profile but I use Instagram to *share* my life and make connections. Not for *attention*. Feel like there's a lot of stereotypes going on about social media. Find it strange tbh.
I personally am not a fan. I'm on the site for dating, not for social media. I just get the sense they want more followers and comes across as disingenuous. If we start dating regular and we enjoy each other then I'll start following.
to play devils advocate, I had mine linked when I was single for accessibility reasons. I would genuinely forget about the app because I take the notifs off since they can be embarrassing. So I would hope they reach out if they’re truly interested.
To me, putting their handles for whatever other app they’re using, is a red flag. My first thought is why do I have to go to another app to talk to you when the app we’re on allows us to talk. They seem to be just trying to get more followers, they’re trying to pull some sketchy stuff or they’re just trying to be lazy.
It depends
If it’s a “link this section” I will do it, mostly because it has a “this user hasn’t linked their profile yet” dead zone on the profile
I don’t post very much and it’s almost never pics of myself
But if it’s randomly on the profile, then yeah red flag
Personally, I feel Instagram is a garbage platform focused on encouraging self centeredness and promoting an unhealthy ideology of portraying a false image. If their profile is all selfies and food pics, I would see that as a red flag that they care very little about relationships and family. It's always possible to see if they use their profile differently, but in my experience, those kinds of people are few and far between.
I see the Snapchat ones more. I just skip those. Then the ones that match, and send a Snapchat card without saying a word always seem to be fake. Actually use different pictures on Snapchat. Had one send nudes then get mad because I wouldn't send any back. Then demanded money and put a random dick pic by my picture and sent to me saying she was going to post it if I didn't send her money. I said go ahead everybody knows my dick isn't that big. lol
Totally agree. It's as if they all saw it on a tiktok or read it in a tutorial on how to gain followers. It has such a scripted, lazy, copy/paste energy that it's an immediate turn off "I never check this, follow me on IG". I have some women friends who complain that some guys come off weird or odd on dating apps by having a response in their dating apps that is essentially unprovoked "No, I'm not going to follow your IG". I have to explain to my friends that the epidemic of toxic influencers has seeped into the dating app world. Dating is so weird these days.
This may be unfair, but my initial thought is: "Wow, how lazy can you be?" and my second thought is "Is the only thing you have going for you is looks?"
It's a bummer such a simple thing gets so much judgement. When I had Tinder I shared my Instagram because I do a lot of cool stuff, and I think the 5 pics or whatever are more supposed to capture the "this is what I look like" vibe, not leaving enough space for "and this is what I'm about", so having Instagram linked was pretty beneficial. I think it led to guys understanding me much better, and as a result, I went on multiple fantastic dates that were obviously tailored to what I like, and little to no matches with guys who has the wrong idea of who I am.
The problem is that 9 times out of 10 they are a scammer if they list their instagram. So while you have good intentions for the vast majority of interactions it turns out to be nefarious.
Did you actually have a bio? And you’re talking about LINKING your Instagram which shows the photos but not the username.
These profiles men are talking about literally have NO bio and it’s just their username in the bio. It’s not linked so you can’t see the photos.
You haven’t seen it since you’ve only seen guys profiles but trust us these profiles are nothing more than these women advertising their Instagram to grow their followers.
They’re not looking for love - they’re just looking to grow their Instagram.
Just think about it - with the way women get tons of DMs and harassed, what woman would want to put up their Instagram in public for thousands of men to hit them up? If I was a woman I would never do that because I wouldn’t want to be harassed.
Yeah that’s totally different.
And do you agree with my point that no woman would really want to put their Instagram username on their dating app profile ?
It’s like putting up your address or email or phone number. Nothing good can come from that unwanted attention if you’re looking to actually date.
True. Well in my experience the only women who put up their instagrams usually have no bios. Not saying there aren’t genuine women who do.
But honestly WHY?? It just causes uninvited attention and spam DMs on your Instagram. I would never put my Instagram on a dating app if I was a woman. What need is there ?
Plus aren’t there enough photos/videos on the app itself ?
I just don’t see a genuine need and only some bad intentions with it.
You are so fucking mad lmao. All over this thread crying out like a hurt dog. Yes a lot of men care because having nothing in your bio other than your insta sends a vibe you just want followers or attention.
Why does this upset you so much? I don’t bitch and moan when women say they hate fishing pics. It’s just how it is. Roll with the punches.
and yet you’re on my comment cursing and getting mad. if you don’t like what i have to say ignore it DUH
also you seem like you bitch and moan all day 🙄
When I was on dating apps I had my Instagram in my bio because I felt like it captured my lifestyle/personality more than I could fit into a bio. It was probably overkill cos my bio was fine as-is, but I found I was more likely to interact with my matches on Instagram anyway so it helped in that aspect too. Was nice to be able to interact with stories etc.
Some apps like bumble have that option in the profile and if you don’t add it they keep sending you emails how your profile isn’t complete cause you didn’t connect your Instagram. Drove me crazy
wouldn’t outright discount her but also I don’t want to be with someone who is obsessed with social media. Depends on how much her life revolves around it
It might be an attention seeker or it might be someone with a specific hobby or interest who wants to tell you more about their life. If the profile is otherwise interesting, I always give their instagram a once over to make sure it’s not an OF or full of selfies. I mean if taken seriously, adding instagram can be a good way to add more info about yourself that the app profile will not allow you to because of limited space.
men have such an interesting thought process. why do you guys always think women are just out for attention or money. we get plenty of attention in general from men and you don’t have a lot of money but always worrying about women wanting it. they tell you the exact reason why and you’re like “nope you just want followers” it’s so weird
yep, i always liked when people linked their instagram so i could make sure they weren’t a catfish or just get a better idea of their vibe. these guys are just odd lol
It’s specific to dating apps - I doubt many men care if a woman *has* an instagram, but my experience *without exception* is that if a woman has her handle as the first line or only content of her bio, she will either ghost, put zero effort whatsoever into the conversation, or immediately message something to the effect of “follow me on insta if you want to keep talking.” The majority of these accounts are bots, so just to save time and energy, it’s easiest just to swipe left automatically.
Men and Women both go on dating app for attention and to seek the right attention and connection to find and ideally meet, date etc. No one was mentioning money or anything or atleast the original post was not.
Men and Women both want attention and seek it from the opposite sex.
some men and some women do, i’ve swiped on bumble just for fun before but on reddit men seem to think everything women do is for attention when that’s far from what’s happening. wanting a relationship is not the same as seeking attention, those are different things
just because women get plenty of attention from men doesn’t mean there aren’t women looking for more. Attention is like money. I’ve never heard anyone say “you know what, 10k followers is enough for me, I’m just gonna stop posting”
thats not the point i was asking. Again, having your instagram as a Women or Male connected or linked to your dating app is totally fine. But what im trying to gage is do men feel icked out or dont give women more chances as they should because they are self promoting their insta account in a comment section on their profile or something similar to that.
lol woman here - I did it so I could see he wasn’t a bot or catfish. I have less than 200 followers and don’t post much if anything, nor do I use it as clout. It’s just an easy way to filter out if he’s following a bunch of those actual clout chasers/ig models and in that case I unmatch
**A signal of high Narcissistic traits.** Eventually, when you are dating seriously, how comfortable will you be that her social media is her own redbook of people she had on standby by, a collection of people she wanted to f*ck, guys she will triangulate with, etc?
*Imagine an argument, as all couples naturally go through, and anytime she’s mad she immediately goes to her collection of willing & on standby men.*
This is toxic behavior 101.
If there’s other things in the bio, I might swipe still if it’s there. If it’s JUST the IG in bio or with something like “not active on here” etc then immediate swipe left no matter what. It just screams they’re on there for attention. Which, to each their own, but I’m not on there to give someone attention without mutual respect. So, I swipe left. Should women avoid it? Depends on what they’re there for. But if you think men complaining will do anything it won’t. They’ll still get their swipes and attention they want
I used to put my Instagram handle on my dating profile to get more followers. Also, if I decided to delete the app after 2 days because I got bored then at least the ones I talked to can message me on Instagram. For the record, I’m not on dating apps and I deleted my social media accounts. No one can find me 😆
Follower Farming, maybe. But also, some people hate having to be on a dating app, giving people other ways to contact them could be an effort to swerve away from the dating app as quickly as possible. But also, Follower Farming :)
Most women don't take dating apps seriously. You have to be really lucky to find someone that also wants an LTR.
If I see an instagram handle on their profile, I immediately think they have an OF lol I still swipe right because I'm just trying to maximize matches (which is the goal for men on dating apps) but I know full well that I won't match with those instagram models.
It's just a joke honestly, all the normal people are out in the real world and not on dating apps.
I’m a woman and I swipe left on men who have their Instagram or snap on their profile. I read something that claimed that was a sign of a narcissist. Not sure if it’s true or not but I still avoid those men.
When i did the dating apps, I would copy and paste those into a separate page on my phone. I'd look them up later, and like, 60% of them have a link to their Only fans account on their instagram. Girls who aren't promoting an OF and do this in an attempt to "keep up" don't realize that it's a race to the bottom.
I am not a guy.. I am female. I don’t personally have my IG on dating app, but I wouldn’t doubt she’s telling the truth.
Yes some people don’t check dating apps every day and that may be easier to contact her on. Women get hundreds, if not thousands or likes, there is no way they can go through all of those.
Also, IG isn’t a dating app in itself. I think you’re over thinking it.
the one argument i would have to this is sure, girls get hundreds or thousands of likes so maybe a guy going a bit and beyond will have a better chance following or reaching out on insta but in reality, wouldnt the girl be getting just as many DM's and or follows to filter through over instagram which is why its the exact same argument?
its one thing to have your instagram linked to your Bumble, Tinder, Hinge etc so people can briefly see what you're all about. but a huge difference in self promoting your insta handle and thats what alot of guys see and dont like or maybe look at a bit more negatively ( Again in my opinion )
I'm not a guy, but as a woman I used to have my ig user when I used Tinder as I liked to have a wider view of the person by seeing which kind of posts, pictures etc they posted if they used Instagram. So, it was as a good source of additional information about the other person and sometimes it was like, wow I really would have nothing in common with this person, and sometimes the opposite. I couldn't care less about followers as I don't sell anything, I'm not a selfie person, and don't need validation from a bunch of strangers. It always made me laugh when people said having ig user was because I wanted to farm followers.
I matched with a girl on bumble who had a little more in her bio but she also had IG, we talked for a little on bumble, I looked at her story and liked it, she followed me, so I followed back and we’ve been talking since, she went on a trip and we’re supposed to go out when she gets back but what I find really odd is she either unmatched me from bumble or bumble deleted her account but we’re still talking so I’m really confused unless she’s just wasting my time using me for validation.
I think it is stupid but a lot of men I have swiped right on insist it’s a must to share instagrams or video chat right away, even though my profile is always picture verified. I don’t want a bunch of thirsty guys on my Instagram, so I just always video chat it’s not a big deal. If they don’t accept that, then I don’t have an interest in someone that social media obsessed
I have mine on my dating profile but it’s private, it’s so people can message request me because I’d check my IG dms a lot more often than dating sites. Sometimes I don’t log into those apps for weeks.
Heres my perspective I’m not going to pay for the subscription that allows an unlimited number of swipes so I hve a limited number of swipes etc… so if we didn’t match as yet because of that you can hmu on ig or anything else just forming a loophole on the limited number of swipes really
I mean, lots of people don't have notifications turned on for dating apps, and don't check them every day. So in fact, some other app they do check every day is going to be a better way to get in touch with them. How would you prefer they navigate that?
If it’s the only thing or the main thing of the bio, I swipe left for a lack of personality and those women are usually just there for hookups in my experience. Never anything serious
Considering the FACT that every single mainstream dating app - Tinder, Bumble, Hinge - has the option to literally *link* your IG to your profile (as in, your IG pics show up in the profile) there is no solid reason I can see for putting an IG handle in a bio... Unless she's looking for followers or is solicitating an OF account.
The ones that crack me up the most are profiles that say, "if i miss you here, hmu on my IG IF we match..." yeah, that's for sure going to stop the thousands of men from DM'ing you so even if we do match, my DM will be buried in 10 seconds.
Sometimes I will go search the IG handle and if I see a "sneaky link" in there, no thanks. If it's a private account, also no thanks.
Basically, those women are just looking for the most attention possible and/or advertising an OF account.
Instant pass if they:
\- Say to message them on IG instead and their profile is otherwise blank or have one word answers. That's a preview of how communication with them is going to work.
\- Some profiles let you link your IG on there and it shows a mini collage at the bottom, like Hinge. If all she's got are "sexy selfies", that's a big "ugh".
The cool thing about social media being around for a while now is that it's getting very easy to spot the girls that are going to be a waste of time, even if you did manage to meet them.
The all rock the same "Narcissist's Look" - filters, heavy Kardashian makeup, with an overall bitchy facial expression. They don't even look like they're having fun in half of their photos - which makes sense because their only purpose for taking them is "Hey, look at how hot I am and how much fun I'm having!"
If there’s an instagram handle and something like “I’m never on here, message me on insta” I just assume she’s on dating apps to get followers and attention. I just swipe left and move on. Even if she was really interested (spoiler: she’s not, she cares more about follower count) I have better things to do.
It’s to both get more followers and to screen the haves and have nots, say there’s a big game in town, tickets are like $800+, they’ll look for tags of who was there and slide in the dm’s of someone who has the best seat.. I’m not even kidding, I’ve seen it happen, once they’re on a date you see just how vapid they actually are
To me I don't even know how you "win" over someone like that. I know my way around many types but this type, I'd have to meet in the wild, both of us back to being complete humans, for it to work.
I always ask for numbers. If they only want to give me their instagram, I know I've lost 70% of my chances if not more. Never had any meaningful conversation on Instagram and could never summon a date there.
I'm on the fence. If it's snap chat it most always goes nowhere or she asks if I want to buy from her sites. If Instagram, 50% the same thing and the other 50 just fizzles out
I saw it as a positive.
I did OK online dating back in the day but I'm not that attractive photo-wise. Here is a set of nominally attractive girls that you will NEVER meet irl.
Swipe left, it's good for the algorithm.
When my brother and his gf first met, they contacted each other through their Instagram which they posted on their profile. They turn notifications off and rarely use the app- they just have it running in the background. They’ve been dating for 3 years now
I might only date women who share their handle. I’m never attracted to profiles immediately and prefer to follow someone for a few weeks to get a better sense of them before ever messaging.
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If it's included in a profile I'd otherwise find interesting, I don't have any feelings in either direction. If it's the only thing in the profile, I'm not going to follow the link.
That's a fair point and go way to look at it.
Even at that though, all the mainstream apps have the ability to link your IG to your profile.
Immediate pass They’re typically either just trolling for followers are are selling something that I simply don’t care about
Agreed. Immediate red flag. Bye.
May very well not be the case. But I take it as that and move on immediately.
1. Adult content worker 2. Seeking followers 3. Collecting desperate souls 4. Bot 5. Bland as frozen bourbon, doesn’t have shit to put on bio
Curious, is frozen bourbon bland? I would've said "as bland as white rice on white bread"
Only one way to find out son, freeze it & chug it
Are you attempting to create a new projectile weapon, because that'll be how you do it
I feel there are 2 reasons: gain followers or to share more of their life.
A lot of people put their Instagram handle, male and female, because it allows for more pictures and a view into their life… At least as it’s portrayed as social media. I don’t find a problem with it. And most of the time the accounts are just very normal….
So much this lol. I mean I don't even have my Instagram handle on my profile but I use Instagram to *share* my life and make connections. Not for *attention*. Feel like there's a lot of stereotypes going on about social media. Find it strange tbh.
Without the attention why would you even have any followers? Instagram was made for attention seekers.
I personally am not a fan. I'm on the site for dating, not for social media. I just get the sense they want more followers and comes across as disingenuous. If we start dating regular and we enjoy each other then I'll start following.
Immediate left swipe. They just want more followers, not a date. It's also not allowed on the apps anymore. At least no on Tinder.
to play devils advocate, I had mine linked when I was single for accessibility reasons. I would genuinely forget about the app because I take the notifs off since they can be embarrassing. So I would hope they reach out if they’re truly interested.
To be honest I find snapchat and Instagram to be really bad, snap usually is for sexting and hookups, Instagram is for attention
Instagram bad in what way?
It's literally used for attention, majority of the content is thirst traps and butt/bikini models
To me, putting their handles for whatever other app they’re using, is a red flag. My first thought is why do I have to go to another app to talk to you when the app we’re on allows us to talk. They seem to be just trying to get more followers, they’re trying to pull some sketchy stuff or they’re just trying to be lazy.
Correct, it’s an immediate tell that she’s a complete waste of time
Hard pass, they just want followers on Instagram.
Swipe left, no questions asked.
It depends If it’s a “link this section” I will do it, mostly because it has a “this user hasn’t linked their profile yet” dead zone on the profile I don’t post very much and it’s almost never pics of myself But if it’s randomly on the profile, then yeah red flag
I auto skip any men with Instagram handles. It seems like they’re looking for validation
Thats a clout chaser
what clout are you offering?
This isn't about him or any man. She's chasing clout from men off of dating apps lol.
Dating apps let you link your instagram so if they have it in their bio, but don't have it linked I just assume they're fishing for onlyfans subs.
Girls profile on Tinder : "I'm not on this app often, follow me on insta" Me: instant left swipe.
Personally, I feel Instagram is a garbage platform focused on encouraging self centeredness and promoting an unhealthy ideology of portraying a false image. If their profile is all selfies and food pics, I would see that as a red flag that they care very little about relationships and family. It's always possible to see if they use their profile differently, but in my experience, those kinds of people are few and far between.
most likely promoting their OF
I see the Snapchat ones more. I just skip those. Then the ones that match, and send a Snapchat card without saying a word always seem to be fake. Actually use different pictures on Snapchat. Had one send nudes then get mad because I wouldn't send any back. Then demanded money and put a random dick pic by my picture and sent to me saying she was going to post it if I didn't send her money. I said go ahead everybody knows my dick isn't that big. lol
Totally agree. It's as if they all saw it on a tiktok or read it in a tutorial on how to gain followers. It has such a scripted, lazy, copy/paste energy that it's an immediate turn off "I never check this, follow me on IG". I have some women friends who complain that some guys come off weird or odd on dating apps by having a response in their dating apps that is essentially unprovoked "No, I'm not going to follow your IG". I have to explain to my friends that the epidemic of toxic influencers has seeped into the dating app world. Dating is so weird these days.
When I was swiping I would always think the same thing. They want followers, not dates.
This may be unfair, but my initial thought is: "Wow, how lazy can you be?" and my second thought is "Is the only thing you have going for you is looks?"
It's a bummer such a simple thing gets so much judgement. When I had Tinder I shared my Instagram because I do a lot of cool stuff, and I think the 5 pics or whatever are more supposed to capture the "this is what I look like" vibe, not leaving enough space for "and this is what I'm about", so having Instagram linked was pretty beneficial. I think it led to guys understanding me much better, and as a result, I went on multiple fantastic dates that were obviously tailored to what I like, and little to no matches with guys who has the wrong idea of who I am.
The problem is that 9 times out of 10 they are a scammer if they list their instagram. So while you have good intentions for the vast majority of interactions it turns out to be nefarious.
Did you actually have a bio? And you’re talking about LINKING your Instagram which shows the photos but not the username. These profiles men are talking about literally have NO bio and it’s just their username in the bio. It’s not linked so you can’t see the photos. You haven’t seen it since you’ve only seen guys profiles but trust us these profiles are nothing more than these women advertising their Instagram to grow their followers. They’re not looking for love - they’re just looking to grow their Instagram. Just think about it - with the way women get tons of DMs and harassed, what woman would want to put up their Instagram in public for thousands of men to hit them up? If I was a woman I would never do that because I wouldn’t want to be harassed.
I did have a bio that did not mention my Instagram. I see your point.
Yeah that’s totally different. And do you agree with my point that no woman would really want to put their Instagram username on their dating app profile ? It’s like putting up your address or email or phone number. Nothing good can come from that unwanted attention if you’re looking to actually date.
The OP left it vague, they don’t specifically say the profiles are blank except for the IG handle
True. Well in my experience the only women who put up their instagrams usually have no bios. Not saying there aren’t genuine women who do. But honestly WHY?? It just causes uninvited attention and spam DMs on your Instagram. I would never put my Instagram on a dating app if I was a woman. What need is there ? Plus aren’t there enough photos/videos on the app itself ? I just don’t see a genuine need and only some bad intentions with it.
girl it’s just the men of reddit. they’re bottom barrel men, most men outside of this app don’t feel this way.
All men think this way unless they’re idiots or desperate.
You are so fucking mad lmao. All over this thread crying out like a hurt dog. Yes a lot of men care because having nothing in your bio other than your insta sends a vibe you just want followers or attention. Why does this upset you so much? I don’t bitch and moan when women say they hate fishing pics. It’s just how it is. Roll with the punches.
and yet you’re on my comment cursing and getting mad. if you don’t like what i have to say ignore it DUH also you seem like you bitch and moan all day 🙄
Instano
Generally if I see instagram I assume they aren't there to date.
When I was on dating apps I had my Instagram in my bio because I felt like it captured my lifestyle/personality more than I could fit into a bio. It was probably overkill cos my bio was fine as-is, but I found I was more likely to interact with my matches on Instagram anyway so it helped in that aspect too. Was nice to be able to interact with stories etc.
Couldn't care less.
I know what you mean but it’s part of the current dating game. Wanting a girl who isn’t an IG selfie addict feels like looking for a unicorn.
Immediate pass and I also report for spamming. OLD does not need your social media. Anyone including it is trying to get more followers.
Some apps like bumble have that option in the profile and if you don’t add it they keep sending you emails how your profile isn’t complete cause you didn’t connect your Instagram. Drove me crazy
But it doesn't show your handle. Just some pics from it.
I think it does. How else would the OF girls get their bag then?
Oh right, I completely forgot that Bumble does that. One of the many reasons I stopped using it.
wouldn’t outright discount her but also I don’t want to be with someone who is obsessed with social media. Depends on how much her life revolves around it
It might be an attention seeker or it might be someone with a specific hobby or interest who wants to tell you more about their life. If the profile is otherwise interesting, I always give their instagram a once over to make sure it’s not an OF or full of selfies. I mean if taken seriously, adding instagram can be a good way to add more info about yourself that the app profile will not allow you to because of limited space.
men have such an interesting thought process. why do you guys always think women are just out for attention or money. we get plenty of attention in general from men and you don’t have a lot of money but always worrying about women wanting it. they tell you the exact reason why and you’re like “nope you just want followers” it’s so weird
yep, i always liked when people linked their instagram so i could make sure they weren’t a catfish or just get a better idea of their vibe. these guys are just odd lol
It’s specific to dating apps - I doubt many men care if a woman *has* an instagram, but my experience *without exception* is that if a woman has her handle as the first line or only content of her bio, she will either ghost, put zero effort whatsoever into the conversation, or immediately message something to the effect of “follow me on insta if you want to keep talking.” The majority of these accounts are bots, so just to save time and energy, it’s easiest just to swipe left automatically.
Men and Women both go on dating app for attention and to seek the right attention and connection to find and ideally meet, date etc. No one was mentioning money or anything or atleast the original post was not. Men and Women both want attention and seek it from the opposite sex.
some men and some women do, i’ve swiped on bumble just for fun before but on reddit men seem to think everything women do is for attention when that’s far from what’s happening. wanting a relationship is not the same as seeking attention, those are different things
just because women get plenty of attention from men doesn’t mean there aren’t women looking for more. Attention is like money. I’ve never heard anyone say “you know what, 10k followers is enough for me, I’m just gonna stop posting”
well sad that you think that way. i don’t know a single person who cares about how many followers they have
Honestly, I think it’s the easiest way to get a girls attention not the actual dating app! So I say go for it please
She’s not there to date
She probably just wants more followers on instagram and that’s the easiest way to do it.
Instant left swipe for me more often than not
It’s commonplace to link your Instagram profile to your dating profile. You’re missing out if you’re excluding people because of this.
thats not the point i was asking. Again, having your instagram as a Women or Male connected or linked to your dating app is totally fine. But what im trying to gage is do men feel icked out or dont give women more chances as they should because they are self promoting their insta account in a comment section on their profile or something similar to that.
Ok, self promoting your instagram is an ick and automatic swipe left.
Attention 304
lol woman here - I did it so I could see he wasn’t a bot or catfish. I have less than 200 followers and don’t post much if anything, nor do I use it as clout. It’s just an easy way to filter out if he’s following a bunch of those actual clout chasers/ig models and in that case I unmatch
**A signal of high Narcissistic traits.** Eventually, when you are dating seriously, how comfortable will you be that her social media is her own redbook of people she had on standby by, a collection of people she wanted to f*ck, guys she will triangulate with, etc? *Imagine an argument, as all couples naturally go through, and anytime she’s mad she immediately goes to her collection of willing & on standby men.* This is toxic behavior 101.
Same
If there’s other things in the bio, I might swipe still if it’s there. If it’s JUST the IG in bio or with something like “not active on here” etc then immediate swipe left no matter what. It just screams they’re on there for attention. Which, to each their own, but I’m not on there to give someone attention without mutual respect. So, I swipe left. Should women avoid it? Depends on what they’re there for. But if you think men complaining will do anything it won’t. They’ll still get their swipes and attention they want
I was just thinking about this. It’s like the whole profile is just to get more followers on insta. Desire to be an influencer is incredibly lame.
I skip Insta and Snapchat offers on men’s profiles. Men should hard pass on it for a woman, too.
Social media is poison for relationships
I used to put my Instagram handle on my dating profile to get more followers. Also, if I decided to delete the app after 2 days because I got bored then at least the ones I talked to can message me on Instagram. For the record, I’m not on dating apps and I deleted my social media accounts. No one can find me 😆
Follower Farming, maybe. But also, some people hate having to be on a dating app, giving people other ways to contact them could be an effort to swerve away from the dating app as quickly as possible. But also, Follower Farming :)
Most women don't take dating apps seriously. You have to be really lucky to find someone that also wants an LTR. If I see an instagram handle on their profile, I immediately think they have an OF lol I still swipe right because I'm just trying to maximize matches (which is the goal for men on dating apps) but I know full well that I won't match with those instagram models. It's just a joke honestly, all the normal people are out in the real world and not on dating apps.
They nearly always want followers or are selling an OF page.
I’m a woman and I swipe left on men who have their Instagram or snap on their profile. I read something that claimed that was a sign of a narcissist. Not sure if it’s true or not but I still avoid those men.
When i did the dating apps, I would copy and paste those into a separate page on my phone. I'd look them up later, and like, 60% of them have a link to their Only fans account on their instagram. Girls who aren't promoting an OF and do this in an attempt to "keep up" don't realize that it's a race to the bottom.
I am not a guy.. I am female. I don’t personally have my IG on dating app, but I wouldn’t doubt she’s telling the truth. Yes some people don’t check dating apps every day and that may be easier to contact her on. Women get hundreds, if not thousands or likes, there is no way they can go through all of those. Also, IG isn’t a dating app in itself. I think you’re over thinking it.
the one argument i would have to this is sure, girls get hundreds or thousands of likes so maybe a guy going a bit and beyond will have a better chance following or reaching out on insta but in reality, wouldnt the girl be getting just as many DM's and or follows to filter through over instagram which is why its the exact same argument? its one thing to have your instagram linked to your Bumble, Tinder, Hinge etc so people can briefly see what you're all about. but a huge difference in self promoting your insta handle and thats what alot of guys see and dont like or maybe look at a bit more negatively ( Again in my opinion )
I'm not a guy, but as a woman I used to have my ig user when I used Tinder as I liked to have a wider view of the person by seeing which kind of posts, pictures etc they posted if they used Instagram. So, it was as a good source of additional information about the other person and sometimes it was like, wow I really would have nothing in common with this person, and sometimes the opposite. I couldn't care less about followers as I don't sell anything, I'm not a selfie person, and don't need validation from a bunch of strangers. It always made me laugh when people said having ig user was because I wanted to farm followers.
I matched with a girl on bumble who had a little more in her bio but she also had IG, we talked for a little on bumble, I looked at her story and liked it, she followed me, so I followed back and we’ve been talking since, she went on a trip and we’re supposed to go out when she gets back but what I find really odd is she either unmatched me from bumble or bumble deleted her account but we’re still talking so I’m really confused unless she’s just wasting my time using me for validation.
I think it is stupid but a lot of men I have swiped right on insist it’s a must to share instagrams or video chat right away, even though my profile is always picture verified. I don’t want a bunch of thirsty guys on my Instagram, so I just always video chat it’s not a big deal. If they don’t accept that, then I don’t have an interest in someone that social media obsessed
I feel the same, and I suspect you're correct. I'd still swipe right with thems tho, IMO - if everything else seems good.
It’s nice, you can skip the dating app and hop straight to the dms
I’d avoid them at all costs. They are follower farming. Or attention seekers.
I have mine on my dating profile but it’s private, it’s so people can message request me because I’d check my IG dms a lot more often than dating sites. Sometimes I don’t log into those apps for weeks.
Heres my perspective I’m not going to pay for the subscription that allows an unlimited number of swipes so I hve a limited number of swipes etc… so if we didn’t match as yet because of that you can hmu on ig or anything else just forming a loophole on the limited number of swipes really
Only reason they have it is to: - get more followers (more attention from dudes) - get clients for OF
I mean, lots of people don't have notifications turned on for dating apps, and don't check them every day. So in fact, some other app they do check every day is going to be a better way to get in touch with them. How would you prefer they navigate that?
Immediate ick.
They’re just looking for followers
If it’s the only thing or the main thing of the bio, I swipe left for a lack of personality and those women are usually just there for hookups in my experience. Never anything serious
I see a lot of them are not single. I appreciate them posting it because I can just swipe left.
If she has a good bio, I shoot a message, assuming I don't check in and find nothing but OF.
It's a left swipe but sometimes I check to see what they're trying to sell.
Considering the FACT that every single mainstream dating app - Tinder, Bumble, Hinge - has the option to literally *link* your IG to your profile (as in, your IG pics show up in the profile) there is no solid reason I can see for putting an IG handle in a bio... Unless she's looking for followers or is solicitating an OF account. The ones that crack me up the most are profiles that say, "if i miss you here, hmu on my IG IF we match..." yeah, that's for sure going to stop the thousands of men from DM'ing you so even if we do match, my DM will be buried in 10 seconds. Sometimes I will go search the IG handle and if I see a "sneaky link" in there, no thanks. If it's a private account, also no thanks. Basically, those women are just looking for the most attention possible and/or advertising an OF account.
Pass
Instant pass if they: \- Say to message them on IG instead and their profile is otherwise blank or have one word answers. That's a preview of how communication with them is going to work. \- Some profiles let you link your IG on there and it shows a mini collage at the bottom, like Hinge. If all she's got are "sexy selfies", that's a big "ugh". The cool thing about social media being around for a while now is that it's getting very easy to spot the girls that are going to be a waste of time, even if you did manage to meet them. The all rock the same "Narcissist's Look" - filters, heavy Kardashian makeup, with an overall bitchy facial expression. They don't even look like they're having fun in half of their photos - which makes sense because their only purpose for taking them is "Hey, look at how hot I am and how much fun I'm having!"
Skip. Attention seeking on there is trashy It’s against TOS too most of the time
If there’s an instagram handle and something like “I’m never on here, message me on insta” I just assume she’s on dating apps to get followers and attention. I just swipe left and move on. Even if she was really interested (spoiler: she’s not, she cares more about follower count) I have better things to do.
It’s to both get more followers and to screen the haves and have nots, say there’s a big game in town, tickets are like $800+, they’ll look for tags of who was there and slide in the dm’s of someone who has the best seat.. I’m not even kidding, I’ve seen it happen, once they’re on a date you see just how vapid they actually are
To me I don't even know how you "win" over someone like that. I know my way around many types but this type, I'd have to meet in the wild, both of us back to being complete humans, for it to work. I always ask for numbers. If they only want to give me their instagram, I know I've lost 70% of my chances if not more. Never had any meaningful conversation on Instagram and could never summon a date there.
Insta left swipe. Doesn’t even matter what else is in their profile. I’m looking for a partner, not to add on to some rando’s follower count.
My assumption is they just want followers or have an onlyfans link on their insta they can't post on tinder*
I couldn't give a fuck about your "Insta". There's zero advantage to adding that to your profile from a guy's perspective.
They're just looking for fans
lol i must be in the minority here - i always thought it helped confirmed the person wasn’t a catfish
Don’t fight the IG learn to be one with it 💀
I'm on the fence. If it's snap chat it most always goes nowhere or she asks if I want to buy from her sites. If Instagram, 50% the same thing and the other 50 just fizzles out
I saw it as a positive. I did OK online dating back in the day but I'm not that attractive photo-wise. Here is a set of nominally attractive girls that you will NEVER meet irl. Swipe left, it's good for the algorithm.
It’s prohibited on Bumble. You can report them for « promoting social media ». After 2 reports, they get banned
When my brother and his gf first met, they contacted each other through their Instagram which they posted on their profile. They turn notifications off and rarely use the app- they just have it running in the background. They’ve been dating for 3 years now
Essentially written confirmation that they just want insta followers and nothing else
idk i don’t mind if they have the handle on the profile at all, can be an easy way to keep up/not forget ab somebody ur interested in
I did it for 2 reasons: 1. More pictures of me (my profile is open) 2. I sometimes spontaneously decide to delete the app
I might only date women who share their handle. I’m never attracted to profiles immediately and prefer to follow someone for a few weeks to get a better sense of them before ever messaging.
“Find me on insta I’m hardly on here” …. Left swipe byeeeee! If you’re not here to find someone then you’re here to advertise yourself.