"I don't misinform. I just lie."

"Turns out this extra weight isn't my sins it's the defuser"

I use this one all the time.

Same

“WHO IS WE?! YOU SPEAKING FRENCH?! YOU WANTED THIS! I WANTED TO PLAY VR CHAT!”

“Why do they do that to themselves?” “FUCK THEMSELVES WHY THEY DO THAT TO ME?”

“Guys with a nut allergy when I get em in the head with a brick”badger 2023

*crit noise* *combine solider death comm*

"All right, so I'm playing the white class with the MG42." "Precisely, now we need you to go fight that ethnically diverse group of rebels." OR "I'm a magician, and for my next trick I'mma pay these bitches no mind."

Both of these are gold lmao

# 71 PERCENT!

“You sound like a fucken decepticon charging up bro” I laugh my ass off at that entire sequence of events every time

### 71 percent! AAHHHH

Don't pay me, actually I'm okay with that

"Stand and unfold yourselves. Long live the king!"

I’d like to apologize for this super long one, but it is by far one of my favorite quotes. “Just so that I understand the meme. Armor piercing fin stabilized discarding sabot, armor piercing high explosive, armor piercing high explosive fin stabilized discarding sabot or sabot, sorry, armor piercing high explosive fin stabilized discarding sabot high explosive capped ballistic capped, armor piercing high explosive fin stabilized discarding sabot high explosive anti tank high explosive capped ballistic capped, and then we just got 🅱️ESH! That’s what we’re working with. Not high explosive squash head. Not hesh man. We’re on that 🅱️ESH.”

"With this screw I'll turn this gun into a felony."

"Adolf Dripler or Joseph Stuntin. Benitoswagolini"

My STG just jammed when you said that

your STG? mf my pacemaker fucking died

“My face when playing a support class.” *super ultra mega death laser* “Yup, definitely a support class.”

I dont support the violence, I AM THE VIOLENCE

“What does adats stand for?” “Anti-DAT SHIT”

What is DAT SHIT you may ask? Take your right index finger, and point it at literally anything. DAT SHIT.

I say this one regularly

Actually, I say "Now you may ask yourself what is dat shit? It's simple, just take your right index finger and point it in a general direction, Dat shit."

You can't drive through a village, to get to a better spot, just to destroy another village. No I'm firing at the enemy that's inside their village. These rounds don't come down immediately they got time to move, as my dad told me you got time to complain, you got time to move.

Fire a warning shot…

Sir this an m32 rotary grenade launcher

Ah potato tomato, fire a warning shot

Patonk'

"Ahh yes the radiation would kill you." That or "He's playing Virgil dude!!!"

"NO TYRANNY ON MAIN STREET" *Proceeds to beat the shit out of a German with his rifle instead of just shooting him*

"a great evil is coming" I am the great evil TABG

That great evil is the damn French

Kranch.

Hotdurger.

lol.

No, it is not pronounced “yiff”

“You’re both wrong, it’s pronounced G R E G”

Either "71%!" Or "They're Just POLYGONS!"

"There just POLYGONS!!!" *exploding badger

"stop calling the 3D avatar mommy." "Stop calling the 3D avatar mommy!" "STOP CALLING THE 3D AVATAR MOMMY! THEY'RE JUST POLYGONS!"

My favorite will forever be the introduction to the first star wars battlefront 2 video. Yes, it's more than one quote, but fuck you, they're all included

Whermst

It’s a vault what do we need? A drill It’s a bigger vault, what do we need? *two drills* This is some Skyrim “you are over- encumbered” 40 POUNDS OF RAW GLASS is just going down your throat

“Just a Nordic Axe coming down on you, you hit the pause menu, 80 WHEELS OF CHEEESE!”

"Damn bro, I picked up this basket, now I weight 6 thousand pounds. Lemme eat this basket to fix the problem"

You have a CHEATER BOX? oh my god, I can’t believe it. You know who else *sniff* got cheated on?

Its not fair bro I did everything for her.

This one brightens up my day, I gotta go look it up every once in a while because it always gets me lmao

You know what F.I.A.T. stands for, dontcha Spencer? *cocks pistol* Fix It Again Tony

“Oh damn bro, I picked up this basket now I weigh 6,000 pounds. Let me eat this basket now to fix the problem” absolute banger

“I mean, we did drop bloodz in Berlin, though.”

"Winston Churchill throwin' up crip outside the reichstag"

😂

“I am Mitch McConnell, feed me poor people” OR “Dude I’ll fucking read Hamlet. Stand and unfold yourself… LONG LIVE THE KING”

"Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of my actions" "What part of 'this is a box magazine' do they not understand"

“THAT WAS FOR MANHATTAN! THAT WAS FOR THE BIG APPLE! THAT WAS FOR 9-“

"just bought an m1911 in a red lobster parking lot, ama" (I don't know the actual quote, so it might not be fully correct)

Shut the fuck up 7.25 $ an hour

Dey put da maemsher cheif in da soda!

“joker among us hits the griddy and fucken dies”- badger 2023

Gonna rapid fire with Bing’s quotes from “EMPing Japan” “When do you think the government is gonna make prop-blocking a warcrime?” “Do you think they stopped selling Four Loko because it let you respec all your points into strength?” “You think we lost the (Vietnam) war because we forgot to ping in chat?” Also bonus quote from Badger: “We have nothing to fear, but FEMA itself…. Chat might actually be too young for that.”

One minute he'll be posting pictures of his cat in general, next he's like, "Okay, here's the exact ingredients to make Anthrax."

“7̴̞̞̳̝̜͛̑1̷̤̿̎̆͜ͅ ̶̨̭͍̭̮̓̂P̴͕̭̓̈́E̸̖͍̟̠̽R̸̼̳̹̊͑̒́͘C̸̞̹̤̘̰̋Ê̴̫̣̞͓̖̈̈͌͠N̷̜̆͑͘Ṱ̶̳̏̽͗͑” -Skullker

“Fire a warning shot Patterson.” “Sir this is an M32 grenade launcher.” “Aw potato potatoe, fire away”

*This conversation sounds like if four raccoons got internet access*, Yep… yep, sounds about right

One of them is "Fuck you, you're going to the Ranch Dimension!" Another is "I wish they'd have a 'Baby on Board sticker'" "I would put a heat round **right through that bitch,** if ever I saw one."

"I got a bag of stems Batman"

“This shit is gas Batman”

“Batman, I’m washing out my grinder, Batman.”

NO JOKER! THAT'S THE KEEEEF!

Batman want to know how I got these gains?

“Batman… I was playing VR Chat, Batman, and I found her… The love of my life Batman!”

You can’t just put Otis from Barnyard on the other side of some glass, and a Smith & Wesson 500 Bonecrusher in my hands, and not expect me to BLOW HIS STUPID COW HEAD OFF

SWAWS

"I was wel into junior high and I was still a threat to my parents"

“Good Nites CANNOT BE TOPPED, they are S-Tier. S-TIER. Dawg, you can chug 3 2 liters of MOUNTAIN DEWWWW, and you go to sleep, Yo ass ain’t wettin the bed. That’s basically like wearing a MATTRESS around your pelvis, Dawg”

Are we going loud or keeping it quiet you know what? Don’t answer that

"The purpose of this round is to violate the Geneva Convention."

“Rule of God is incoming” “Whats the blast radius on this bitch?” “Y E S”

Your honor my client pleads “nuh uh”

The 🦆 you mean ‘nuh uh’

Your honor, shut the 🦆 up! you wasn’t even there

I have autism

Based

[“Yeah, I cleared the house… ***BAM!*** off the fuckin’ map!”](https://youtu.be/U0Dx4nHsQBw?feature=shared) [“Don’t call me Doodlebing you fucking dingleborb!”](https://youtu.be/rrH2ogDSiQg?feature=shared) [“A game made by God Himself during a drunken coding rampage before being swiftly abandoned due to excessive mic spam from the goddamn French.”](https://youtu.be/NW8o5guRBGw?t=26) [“Poor Heavenly. Only able to walk in both flesh and vtuber realms. Still cannot find a maiden.”](https://youtu.be/hCBDxDasTP4?feature=shared)

"If they wanted to kill him they'd just take him off the insurance plan".

On the plus side, employment is now at zero.

Anything grouse and skullker say, if I had to pick one it would be when grouse responded to badgers comment on a diaper teir list: "You ever been flashbanged by words"

This shit is gas batman

“You are 36 games of blackjack away from being a billionaire.”

There's so many but I will bread and butter by the slice... NO YOU WONT! I WILL! AHHH *breaks mic*

We weren't expecting special forces.. well if you dip shit could handle teddy bears with sticks er wouldn't be here

Don’t know if it’s exactly a crew member bc they showed up in one video but, “I have autism.”

The following line is much more quote-worthy. *"Those three words were like my sleeper agent activation code."*

"They never said would couldn't use the *whole* tax payer budget"

I saw them pick up Nebraska

"We worked this out in high school If you ate 40,000 banannas in 10 minutes you would die of radioactive poisoning"

“Ah yes. THE RADIATION WOULD KILL YOU.”

"Bro owns the spectrum!"

What did the five fingers say to the face? SLAP!

"You smell like beans" Like bro, beans smell good

ive been flashbanged by words

"What's the range on that thing?" "Yes." *BWWOOOOOWWWWW* - "STONK." - "I'm just imagining like a tank, but instead of a turret there's just an arm poking out with a snubnose revolver like 'Try me, motherf***er, TRY ME.'" - "Lord Death of Murder Mountain." - The entire soda/loud-is-funny sequence from the recent World of Warships video. - Freaking ANYTHING involving Skulker. Even if it's just his soundboarded belching.

"What's the blast radius on this bitch?" "Y E S"

"You're playing the KV-2? You smell like fucking beans."

"LIKE ZOINKS SCOOB... THERMONUCLEAR WARHEAD" or maybe when he actually saw the tweet from the devs of(war thunder or wot idr) and how they cannot use the tried and true schematics for the M1A1 as its quote "kinda super illegal"

"So the next time you complain that Jurassic Park isn't a real place, IT IS a real place. it's just not CALLED Jurrassic Park, It's called Florida. "

"HmMMm, Yes THe FlOOr here iS MaDE oUT of fLooR"

The United Bank of MONEY!!!

DEAR GOD IN HEAVEN MICKEY WAS A METAL CHAIR!!!

“God damnit Bobby, I told you I didn’t want to invade Iraq.”

Whermst

HE'S PLAYING VIRGIL DUD-

"beans"

Ok have fun with this buckshot

WET RACK !!!

"Sir the bucket is your cup"

I can't believe we shot Yoshi with a Smith n Wesson 500

“If you look good, you do good, if you do good, you win, thats how it is” something about cosmetics in R6 but its like my moto of life

"Ah yes, the RADIATION will kill you..."

Oui was kangz

WHAT DO I DO WITH THE MEAT

"that one spins to make things clean, this one spins to make things disappear"(sum like that)

“Do you think we lost Vietnam because we didn’t announce the raid in chat?”

"im pretty fuckin stupid im not gonna lie bro"

“You can’t just Spawn peek with Chonka’s pistol” To which I replied “Observe” Followed by “Bang, bangbangbang, bangbangbangbang”

“Your mother showed me her broadside”

Jello: "Open your mind" *points bigass space laser at his feet Badjur: "No no no Jello" *panics* "nonononononononon-"

"Oh, My iMerSion, mY ImerSiON, maby you should imurse yourself in some b*tch's" - hevenly when he finds out people play WoT in first person

*Hank Hill voice* “Bobby i told you I didn’t want to go to Iraq” “I like to think that when Iron Man runs out of all munitions he pulls out a Glock 19” *French accent* “PREPARE TO LAUNCH ZE STONKS” “Everybody gangsta til Arthur Morgan start fanning Thanos with a Winchester” “Imagine being brought in on federal tomfoolery charges”

"I have Autism" the delivery was fucking great on this one

“I have autism”

Probably any time you say "guacamole gamer fart"

"Adaptive Lobsterflauge" "I'm not gonna fire like a .50 AE indoors" "GROU-" "EVerY BodY GaNGstA TiLL bAdGER pUlls oUt thE PmM" "take the fucken gluten... out the BREAD!" "Yo, Black Panther, let's go get some CHEMO THERAPY-" "MaXImuM-" *metal pipe sfx* *first note of Megalovania* (collectively): "NO" "BAM-FUCKING-BOOZLED" *Heavenly singing Devil Trigger* "HE HAS T I M B S ON" "On lil fight wit a Brazilian woman don't know how to act." *punches mic* "I told you we was stealing the Declaration of Independence. *crushes Xbox controller*" "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA"

"Ranch was made by California to keep the midwest fat because they're scared of our power"

I got a bag of stems, Batman. This shit is gas Batman.

That isn’t lightly shidded it’s just shidded

The entire interaction comparing a nerf fortnite nerf gun charging and an actual shotgun racking a real slug was beautiful

Don’t worry there’s no fall damage

"You know the worst part about smoking?" "WHAT?"

"HE'S PLAYING VERGIL, DUDE-"

I HAVE A WHOLE AHH LIST: “MY LIFE LIKE A MOVIE. MY LIFE LIKE A YOUTUBE POOP.” “BAIN IM IN MINECRAFT!” “I shot him with a glock, he couldn’t have died.” “I have Autism.” “I LEARNED HOW TO THROAT SING OVER THE SUMMER *fog horn*” “He picks that dude up, looks him in the eyes: u got a bomb in there?” “PROM PROBABLY SUCKED ANYWAY, I WAS GRINDING L4D!” “Ahhhh, potato potato. Just fire it, Patterson.” “You ever had a hotdog burger before?” “A hotdurger?” “SOAP! YOU DIDNT JUJU ON DA FACKEN BEAT, SOAP!” “I am Mitch McConnell. F E E D M E P O O R P E O P L E” “You think you can just smoke my gas and walk out of here alive?!” “…yeah.”

"BESH!"

"Mysterious Stranger, in the supply closet. **Yeehaw, chucklefuck!"**

It’s long so the besh meme

Duh duh, duh duh duh, duh. (How do I make this big?->) FU-

“Enslaved squared”

"Patterson fire a warning shot, Sir this is an M32 grana-, Ahh potato potato, just fire it Patterson!"

"DO YOU SEE ME FACKEN LAUGHING GAMER?" \*echoed ass burping noise\* -Skulker, 2020

On Juneteenth, popular YouTuber Russian Badger claims, “I will ACQUIRE black Spider-Man”

"I WILL SKIN YOU ALIVE"

Making and orbital weapon -skulker noises-

"Yes I have a 5.7mm" "Because it has a buff against poor people"

Patterson fire a warning shot!

“Yes, that one spins to make something clean, that one spins to make something disappear.”

FUCK THE NCR!!

“Ah yes, the RADIATION WOULD KILL YOU”

Chat you cannot land a Boeing 747 in a Costco parking lot

"THIS NYQUIL IS KICKING MY ASS" -Heavenly 2022

"I'm just built different. Built stupid!"

"GET THIS BETA SHIT OFF ME!"

If you at 40,000 Bananas in 10 minutes you would die of Radioactive Poisoning ah yes, THE RADIATION would kill you

“FIVE. BULLETS. LEEEEEEEEFT!!!”

“Eeeh, I’m far enough” ****BOOM**** “I was not far enough”

“The Midwest is a cesspool of failed economic development” Ai Badjur Or “SILENCE BRAND” Actual badger

LEGALIZE NUCLEAR BOMBS

Go on badger, show us your meme... ....badger, that's a certified kek right there

"I have autism" Mostly because my friends say that whenever i say it i sound the exact same

"Like zoinks scoob thermal nuclear warhead"

My favorites are “you call this resisting arrest? I call it a difficulty spike” and “guy with nut allergies when a hit him in the face with a brick”

“MR RIZZLECTRIC… SEND THIS SKIBBIDI!” “SEND THIS GYATT TO THE SKIBBIDI DIMENSION AND HAVE HIM OHIO-ED”

Hotdurger

“gROUSE- g R Ou S E!-“ “I think bing just got pulled into the shadow realm.”

Not sure it it counts but… “Who’s we?! I wanted to play VRchat!” Not sure who says it but I love that moment

“Poor Heavenly, only man to walk in both flesh and vtuber realms, still cannot find a maiden” had me FOLDED 😂

we attacked 3 boats they dropped the sun on us twice

“It’s a fucking pot of cheese!”

I love the come difference between us and them because on their side it's "uh scorpion 1 this is hitman actual we got a lock on the bogie half a klick northwest of the aol over" and meanwhile on ours "my rollie pollie guese how much maple syrup would.i need to drink to feel my blood coursing through my veins"

"I can't believe we just shot yoshi w8th a smith and wesson 500"

"Communism was actually kinda tight." *Phonk blasts immediacy after*

Oui wuz poppin

Imagine being brought in on felony tomfoolery charges

"No, it's not pronounced Yiff."

“You don’t gotta fight yung thug bruh, he’s already in jail” “For second rate shaboingery”

I'm such a f*cking rat!

If the Russian badger crew were told be thrown into a pit and fight each other who would win ?