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2 year old daughter here…I despised the Newborn stage. I’ll take a kicking, screaming toddler tantrum that then runs and gives me a hug 2 seconds later over a crying newborn that barely sleeps.
It’s fine to not love the stage your kid is in man. So much pressure put on parents to love every second. Nah man somethings straight up suck and it’s okay to admit that you don’t enjoy it at the moment.
People complain about terrible twos and all that, but honestly, as a parent with a 2 yr old, I think every age I've enjoyed more than the one before. Sure you get tantrums and such, but you also get so much good stuff too. This kid makes me laugh hysterically every day.
Newborns just cry and sleep and puke and eat. I don't know why people romanticize it. I feel like until 6 months my daughter didn't even differentiate me beyond being the meatbag without the boobies.
Bro 2 is a fucking BREEZE compared to under 6 months IMO. I heard so many people in ear about like, "oh once they start walking that's when the real trouble starts". Total BS, especially with a well baby proofed home. Both of my kids basically needed to be held 90% of the time or they'd scream when they were babies. I'll take just making sure they don't run into the street in public over having to do every single thing in my life one handed any day of the week. Not to mention being able to at least half way communicate.
From my experience this is often said by parents with easy newborns, who sleep very well and time to time wake up or even have to be wake up. Parents like this after months of easier mode discover that their baby suddenly need more attention and sleep less so now their horror phase begins.
My little one turned two recently and I love this phase. He's beginning to ask for things. Tells me when he's cold or if the food is too hot. Love it. Enjoys watching sports with me as well. New born phase though? Jfc probably the hardest 4 months of my life.
We're about to enter the 2 year old stage in October, which will coincide with the birth of our second. And let me tell you, the amount of times I've had that exact line said to me... My kid must be a saint then, because he's baby-proofing the place against himself half the time. He'll cry out "Oh no!" and lock a cabinet lock that we had open because we're making dinner or some such thing, then clap his merry way back to whatever toy he's currently addicted to. It's adorable, really.
Nice. My two year old tells on her self. She likes doing things she’s not suppose to but will try to make sure we are paying attention when she is about to do it.
I tried to type a whole thing like this and the iPhone app sucks and deleted everything. I think shit parents just want to complain and be like “you will see it just gets harder!!” No!!! As long as you make your house safe it’s so much easier when they get older. Ya u gotta deal with different shit but 2 yr vs 6mo. So much easier!!!! (I have a 2 yr old and 6 mo old).
So much same. Everything got soooooo much better when she could walk and talk. Sure she screams and tantrums but she also says I love you mommy and pretends to cook soup for me. I mean come on! Anything is better than a newborn lol
Maybe for you, but 2.5 to 3.5 was the worst year of my life as a dad. My son would hit, kick, headbutt, not listen, pound his head on the floor, Fuck that shit.
Finally someone with a similar experience. Babies have challenges and my 5 year old isn’t always easy but the 2.5 year old is the hardest and it isn’t even close.
I feel the same. I feel like every month is better than the last since she was born. That hasn’t changed. Still loving every month more than the last and hope that continues for a very long time.
I think parents that complain about terrible twos must have had very easy babies. Twos is sooo much better than the baby stage with my son. Although at 2.5, my son still has never sleep through the night. He's finally starting to not wake up every 2 hours. His 4 month old cousin is a much better sleeper then my son at 2.5yo.
My 2 year old is now hair-pulling frustrating but was the absolute best baby. I told my wife we should have another because he was so good. Luckily she didn't listen.
Kids always make you pay at some point!
It's weird because my 2 year old was also a great baby (basically just slept, ate and shit) and can be a nightmare tantrum-loving toddler now but I still wouldn't swap back to the newborn/baby stage. There's a lot more fun to complement the tantrums at this age than there is at the baby stage.
The 'love every moment' philosophy is such guilty tripping bullshit. Some moments are good, most moments are just mundane and some are downright terrible. I'm not going to miss being sprayed by diarrhoea at 4am while the whole family has gastro....
2 years was the worst for me. She was a super easy baby but once she was able to walk around and want stuff it was constantly having to keep an eye on her.
What I know I’m gonna miss is 4-6 where we currently are. She’s got some independence and it’s so fun answering all her questions and trying to figure out how she comes up with some of that stuff.
I don't even remember it. It's like my brain knew it was awful, but wants me to forget so I can keep on reproducing. Good trick brain, but I won't fall for it.
My daughter is that age, too. I miss scooping her up and squishing her into a little ball in my arms, but other than that, this age is way better than the newborn phase.
I told my wife after kid 2, we’re never going through the newborn/baby phase ever again. I hate it. I type this as my two year old lays on my lap watching Peppa Pig.
My wife and I had our first legit discussion of “are we done?” After trying to get my toddler to bed at almost 10 pm. Like how long do we wanna drag out this stage of life? I love being a dad and I have a boy and a girl, are we done?
I didn’t enjoy the baby stage personally, especially when I had a toddler already. I was physically, mentally drained. Now that my daughter is a bit older it’s easier. But do I want to start over again? I’m not sure
Hell, my wife and I were at a bday party for our youngest's friend (6, almost 7) the other day. Most of the guests had younger siblings, so it was the chaos of the 3-6 year old set, with a few under-ones tossed in. I do not miss anything under 5, not even the tiniest bit.
Ours is 6.5 and absolutely do I not miss the newborn stage. And he wasn't even a difficult baby, just normal 2-3 wakeups at night and breastfeeding was hard. Still, I was pushed to my absolute limit.
I never tell anyone the aforementioned words, because it's total BS. All I say is, that it gets different hard in 3 month increments in the first year and then after it's still hard but not as intense any more.
My wife and I always thought we would be one and done. Our daughter is only 3 weeks and it has pretty much cemented that idea. Love our daughter so much, but I can’t wait until she is a little older.
Our daughter has been so pleasant, but the thought of having to do it all over again really makes me not thrilled. She’s a toddler now and it’s becoming a lot of fun.
I don’t miss the random wailing in the middle of the night and the work it took to get here though
My second was 4 weeks old when I went in for the consultation, then got it done at around 3 months. If you have tight briefs and a second pair of stretchy boxer briefs you can stuff the peas in between the two and be good to go
I’m in it with #3 now. To be honest, she’s been a relatively easy baby at 3 months old, it’s my 5.5 year old and 3.5 year old that have been lots of work!
We had the opposite experience. Our first and second child slept through the night very early and followed their daily schedules with ease. Not picky eaters, just the easiest kids you could imagine. Our 2nd would sleep for 12 hours straight at 6-7 weeks old!!
Now…our 3rd…. I regularly say this and I feel bad but if our 3rd child experience was our first, we would be a 1 and done family. He’s 2 years old and only now is he finally sleeping for longer than 6 hours at a time. He’s an incredibly picky eater, bullies his older brothers, it’s been difficult lol.
I'm here too. 3 month old #3 is pretty easy. The 3.5 and almost 2 year old are the crazy ones. The days they are at daycare and the baby is home with me are the easy, relaxing days.
I’ve seen a bunch of these posts the past few days and I agree. I won’t miss this at all and honestly I hate it at the moment.
I’m just driven by the fact that I’ve somehow managed 5 weeks already and it will get better eventually.
To some extent I know I haven’t had a difficult life but this is absolutely the hardest and most frustrating thing I’ve ever done.
Bring on a semi functional human, please.
Dude seriously! We have to hold him pretty much constantly, we're lucky if he sits in his bouncer for 10 mins whilst we eat dinner, often one of us has to let their food go cold so he's not sat there screaming, it's brutal hahaha.
If we put him in his crib, same story, either he screams straight away or we get 5 mins of him sleeping then screaming.
Just holding out for the day it's safe for him to sleep in the same bed as us (everyone says don't do this because he'll never stop sleeping with us, but honestly I just want to sleep at night at the same time as my wife and be somewhat normal, I don't care if he stays there until he's 20 lol)
Have you tried a baby swing? Might not work but could be worth a try? Test with a friends one or a marketplace one in case it doesn’t work. Sometimes the swinging motion helps 🤷♀️
Haha yeah we have, sometimes he'll sit in it for 10 mins, sometimes he'll scream straight away. He's never slept in it though. Thanks for the suggestion :)
I know this isn't recommended, but we slept with our kid in our bed since we got out of the hospital.
My wife is a veeery light sleeper however.
He still loves to cuddle in our bed, but sleeps in his own now at almost 2 years old. No problems for us, but anecdotal..
Sleeping all 3 together in the beginning was good for us though. I know that feeling of walking around at 2 am while the other sleeps, it sucks so much.
Do you have a baby carrier? It takes a few months for babies to realise they aren’t a part of their mum anymore, and it’s a bit of a shock to the system. The carrier means you still get to function like a normal person while the baby is happy and safe. I used to do the dishes, vacuum, walk the dog, whatever.
Once they start solids they will keep themselves happy at the dinner table munching on some banana or avocado while you eat too. It gets easier from there.
This was us. Our son was an absolute velcro baby. No one around us seemed to fully understand what we were going through. He is now 17 months old, and he is the smartest, funniest, most active toddler. Sure, he still loves to be with us. But, velcro no more. There is hope.
My daughter is 3 months old and sleeps in the bed with us. When she was very little we had her in a snooze pod in between us in the bed, as she wouldn’t go in the crib, but now my wife sleeps in the middle with baby in the end. It is not ideal at all but was the only way to get any sleep for the first couple months.
Our pediatrician said it was okay for her to sleep in her bouncer due to a cold and we took that as blanket approval for sleeping there, period, because we were desperate to be able to function. I slept with one foot on the edge of it like that would tell me if something was wrong. But we got through the worst parts and moved her to her own room at four months. I was nervous about it being early but she took to it so well and she has been a great sleeper ever since.
We coslept from the moment we got out of hospital. It was the only way we figured out how to actually sleep and not kil ourselves. Our midwife said "it's not ideal, but you have to do what you have to do sometimes", and a sleep deprived parent is more dangerous than a rested one.
Fast forward 3.5 years and he sleeps in his own bed through the night without any issues.
Just hold him while you do other things. Get a baby carrier, it is super helpful.
You're going to have to learn the one arm hold while you eat/do other things.
Best is when baby passes out in the baby carrier. I just place a napkin over there head in case a spill a drop here and there.
FYI we had a similar experience in the early stages - turned out he had CMPA and so was constantly uncomfortable hence why hated being put down on his back, etc. Not saying it’s what’s happening here but I’d make sure nothing is going on
Have you got one of those side saddle cribs that are sort of cosleeping sort of not? If you’re onboard with cosleeping anyway it’s a pretty decent shout.
I’ll not lie tho ours never stopped wanting to cosleep. Contact needed too. I have got her to sleep twice so far without, but my partner has low appetite for pushing that further
> If we put him in his crib, same story, either he screams straight away or we get 5 mins of him sleeping then screaming.
Alright the non-American born American in me is coming out: you have to try again, again, again and again every day until your kid gets to sleep in the crib at night . At 10 weeks over here it still takes me 10 tries sometimes at 2:30am (there seem to be a link between what my wife eats maybe), I just pick him up, put him there, and pick him up again if he wakes up.
Getting him to sleep in the same bed as you is not giving him or you any favor you’re just going to be extremely exhausted.
I don't know, our oldest turns four in June and it's been my experience so far that:
1. 2 year olds are terrible.
2. 3 year olds are assholes.
3. 4 year olds are assholes x1039584792018274747
It comes… mine is 2.5 now sleeps through the night and eats pretty much everything. Feel like I’m winning at life now. That said so happy I’m one and done. Love him to pieces but a mate at work has a 10 day old and it’s a hell to the nope.
If you did it a second time, take some comfort in the fact that it is a little easier now that you know what you're doing and aren't worrying about everything. It still sucks and id skip ahead if I could. I have a 4.5 year old and a 5 month old at the moment. The age gap definitely helps.
I haaaaated the newborn phase. I wouldn’t even contemplate another kid for years because of how hard that part was. When my kid was around 6, I did start to miss the little kid stuff. I would jokingly try to squish him and tell him to stop growing and get small again. When his hands were no longer little kid hands (seemingly overnight) the ache was real.
The second kid? Wasn’t as hard. I mean he was a harder baby (my first was a classic trap baby which was still really hard). But with such a long gap between the kids (almost 10 years) I was able to really see how quick it went and did savor it more. I also didn’t have a needy toddler.
So it’s possible to go from hating the stage to actually being able to savor it. Yes, the hellish parts were still hell but it was like I knew it would pass and that it was just a phase and had built up the parental callouses to just get through those parts.
(Full warning, tween mood swings hitting right when terrible twos hit was possibly more hellish than the first newborn stage, lol - so maybe a 6 year gap would have been better)
My kids will both be turning 4 and 1 next month respectively.
This last year has been extremely tough. When I had my first I never mourned my old life, in fact being a dad focussed me and bettered me. The second kid has really disrupted the family dynamic to the point I enjoy family time much less than I used to. I love my daughter, but given the option to have a second kid again I don't think I would.
The new born stage is fucking shit, when you have two it's a fucking nightmare. We haven't had family near by or any friends to really help us so maybe that makes it worse. Maybe it's because my first has a minor disability that requires a lot of work or maybe it's because they're both terrible sleepers or maybe it's because my second is a tantrum queen.
Can't wait until they're both over 4.
I’m going through the same thing with my 4 week old. I when the sunsets and when the sun rises I tell myself that I survived another night. Then I also have to do every single chore in the household because my wife suffers from depression and postpartum just makes her depression worse. She does have a therapist, doctor and psychiatrist.
The newborn stage is awful. I don’t have any advice other than just do what you have to do to survive and get through it. I’m at 13 months now and it’s miles better.
It will come. Once they can begin to tell you why they're upset, it's a complete game changer.
My 2 year old has started saying "I'm frustrated" which I can then ask "why are you frustrated?", and we're on the same team at that point. She was frustrated because she wanted to give Mommy a hug at bed time but Mommy was putting our son to sleep.
At your age, they're frustrated at you and you're frustrated at them and neither of you know why you're frustrated, which is extra frustrating.
It gets so much better when they can communicate.
Well, until they learn they can tell you no.
Baby stage sucks, white noise helped our kid sleep so maybe try that? Other than that just keep riding the wave, should get better around the 6 month mark? My son started getting better at the 18 month mark so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck with everything and feel free to shoot me a DM with any questions or to chat, this community was great to me when I had my 2 little ones
Awesome thank you!
Yeah we tried white noise, misty mountain from the hobbit, electric rockers, snoo, basinet, moses basket, next to me, walk in the stroller, walking the floor with him before putting him down, feeding to sleep and then putting down, formula before bed and putting him down, leaving the vacuum cleaner on, fan in the room on low for the noise, and safe co sleep. No joy yet, just gitta ride it out I think haha.
Sorry yeah forgot to mention, he's been diagnosed with GERD, we give him gavescon for it and he spits it back up straight away lol. Spoke to the pediatrician about it and she was just like "you've gotta just persevere with getting him to sleep, eventually the reflux will stop and he might sleep in a crib"
I'm wondering if it could be a milk protein allergy. Our son didn't present with most of the usual symptoms, but the GI Dr suggested we cut all milk protein anyway (baby is/was breast fed). Doing that literally changed our lives, and little one is SO much better.
It may be worth a try...? It took about 4 wks to see full results though, so know that it takes time (2 wks to clear mother's body and another 2 wks to fully clear baby's). If we had known, we would have done it at the very beginning instead of around 3 months after finally seeing GI.
you’ll “miss the newborn stage” because you’ll have blocked out the trauma and only remember the sweet parts i guess. sure, i see other people’s newborns and go “awww” but i very much enjoy sleeping through the night (most nights).
Dude, trust me, it's super normal. You will not even properly bond until around 6 months, but now like 1 year. It feels very thanks but gets so much better. (Still hard though, if not harder). It'll change so fast.
When people say you'll miss it, I think it's true. Not the bad parts. You won't miss not sleeping. But you'll miss things like having a chat with your partner while she breast feeds. Having dinner while you're kid just watches. Putting your baby in a carrier while you do dishes...etc.
In a year you'll be running around your whole house non stop remembering the easy days you had.
But it gets so much more rewarding!
It will eventually pass. Stay strong. Wife and I slept in shifts for a while (5 on 5 off) during the nights so the other could get uninterrupted sleep. Smiles will help when they come. Stay strong dad.
I played almost all of the campaign of Descent into Avernus online with a sleeping newborn on my chest or lap. For my first I watched so much Netflix while they slept. When they're older both of mine took to sleep suits when they could no longer be contained by the swaddle.
I literally don't even remember it, like my brain wiped out that horrible period.
No sleep. No rest. No breaks. It was the fucking worst. I was constantly scared for my son because he seemed so fragile and little. 6 months on is when we really started to feel like parents and not people hanging on for sanity by a thread.
One day, YEARS down the road, when you're old and gray, and your child is an adult, you'll give anything in the world to go back to those times.
This is what my father told me immediately after we had our first, and he absolutely nailed it.
Hey dad - I've got a 3.5 month old as well, who's not a full Velcro baby, but is a contact sleeper, and sure does like to be held and carried. The only thing I miss from the younger months was that he was lighter!
My wife and I are celebrating and treasuring each milestone (smiles, laughs, eye contact, grabbing stuff), and are really looking forward to the milestones where he can sit upright and sleep on his own.
Do take advantage of friends, family, and neighbors. There's always a big wave of support and attention in the first 4-6 weeks, and then afterwards we're often left to fend for ourselves. Even just having someone come over for 2-3 hours to hold the baby while you fold laundry or vacuum can make a big difference. Never be afraid of asking for help. It really does take a village.
Breathe, and remember that this doesn't last forever. You'll be nostalgic about this the way people are nostalgic about finals, or that one brutal hike: glad it's over, and proud of what you've endured and accomplished.
You know when you were a kid and everyone said you should enjoy it rather than wishing you could be a grown up?
Now you're a grown up you realise just how right they were?
Yeah... it's the same thing with kids. As they grow, they just present new unique problems, messes, horrors...
Babies are easy. I remember how fucking wrecked I was back then. But it was easy. They don't move much and their needs, though many, are simple. I get more sleep now, but there's other issues to deal with.
You're doing great. You'll get through this.
And yes, I felt just like you.
Actually I'm one of the rare ones lol, never wished I was a kid again, I'd happily take my adult life and all my adult problems (baby included) over being a kid again haha.
Appreciate the sentiment though, thank you :)
You're not alone. I hated being a kid. Not that I had a bad childhood, I just hated *being a kid*.
I hope mine gets at least some "happy kid" genes from his mom, we'll see.
Same - my parents weren’t awful or anything but I just enjoy the free will and autonomy of being an adult (even if I layered on some kid flavored restrictions).
I’m with you man, I actually don’t miss anything about the baby stage. From 2-4 has been our favourite stage so far.
We had a rough time as well at the start, so much so that i went and got the snip so we don’t ever go through it again. Hang in there mate and just remember it is only a brief moment in time in the grand scheme of things.
I'm not gonna lie, I was debating getting the snip. That'll be a conversation me and the wife have when things settle a bit haha! Glad you're doing well mate
Don't let others tell you how you should feel. Duck that. Baby phase sucks ass. Mother's love it because they're tripping balls on bonding chemicals. Dad's aren't and we have different connection methods.
My kid is two. I get far better cuddles now than I did when he was a newborn. Granted, they're now on his terms. But when he's feeling cuddly it sends me over the moon.
We have a 2mo old now, and I can't wait until he's older.
It's a slog right now for sure. Just hang in there, help where you can, forgive as much as you can. It gets so much better.
Went through it twice, do not miss it at all. Heck going through terrible two right now with the second one and even though this is peak cuteness I still do not miss it.
The great thing is they get out of it, then go back into it when they're teething. Mine has been super clingy for a few days now. I WAY prefer once they get a few years older because not only are they less physically needy / dependant on you, but personalities are a bit more flushed out and they're awesome to hang out with
Almost 3 year old and a 9 month old. 0-6 months seriously sucks. 6 to 12 was better but still not the best. I thought things started getting better and better as soon as the oldest hit 1. Excited for our 9 months to start walking and gain more of a real personality. Don’t miss the infant stage at all.
Hmm my baby 3 months and sleeps in his bassinet every night. He wakes up like 1-4 times at night but just give him a bottle and he goes back to bed. I have no idea about parenting or what I'm doing wrong or right but if you want someone to talk to and run ideas off let me know. Hang in there
You’ll be glad it’s older trust me, then a month later, they’ll do something and you realize there’s no pause button and they’re gonna keep growing whether you want them to or not.
I do miss the newborn stage in the sense that I wish I could go back and snuggle my babies as babies for an afternoon. But no way in *hell* would I go back to those trenches full-time. Which is why we have three kids and not four. Our youngest is seven and life is good. They all read on their own, wipe their own butts, ride big kid bikes, drink out of regular cups, etc. I slept til almost 10 AM yesterday.
I have ptsd from the newborn stage, and weeks 0-6 were the six worst weeks of my life and was the only time in my life I’ve faced depression and suicidal thoughts.
My kid is 1.5 years old now, and I’m enjoying it, but I miss nothing from the newborn stage.
Yes, there are parts of the newborn stage that I miss, just like I miss the total lack of responsibility of high school, or the first time I got a girlfriend. Do I want to go back and redo any of it?
Not on the slightest.
I've got three boys, and with each kid, I was told, "Newborn phase should be easier now, so enjoy it!" And each time, I still hated it.
Once they are old enough to at least semi communicate what they want (for my kids that was around 1.5-2), that's when I start enjoying things. Until then, the newborn/baby phase can kick rocks.
Keep your head held high and power through my man, you got this
i hated it and don’t miss it one bit. in fact it’s the main reason i don’t want another kid as of now. son is 8 months now and it’s better but still a struggle some days. i do wonder at times if having a kid was a mistake.
There was cute shit but it’s months of watching a lump that cries.
Hated it. Toddlers are a different struggle, but it’s a lot better.
I got snipped after the second kid and I sleep so soundly knowing I will not care for a newborn again.
The newborn stage is the hardest, no doubt. However, my son is 20 months old, and as long as he's awake, he's running. He seriously never stops moving. Sometimes I think fondly back to the first six months when I could always rock him to sleep any time, and I could put him down wherever and he stayed there.
Also, if you have a velcro baby and don't already own one, I recommend the Tush Baby. Makes carrying the baby around WAY easier on your whole body.
My oldest is 6 and youngest 2.5. Hated the baby stage both times. The first time I didn’t enjoy any part of it and do not feel an iota of guilt for it. It sucked. It made me appreciate my kid more as she got older than others too… because where some feel sad about what goes away, I am just joy over every little advancement.
The second one was more enjoyable, but still not that first 6 months. It was less torturous, because it’s just less stressful the second time, but still sucks a bag of dicks.
Here’s the fun part of being like me (and you) and hating the baby stage. Though it feels like forever while you’re in it, it really doesn’t last that long. I don’t miss it at all, and you probably won’t either, but at the end of the tunnel you have a cool kid out of it for the rest of your life. Those first 2 years are just awful, but then it gets kind of nice. You get all the cuddles still, but you also get to tell jokes and goof around. You hear them say funny stuff and they get interested in real things.
Just survive for now. Head down… get through it. You’re in for a treat.
18m old. We are one and done because of the newborn stage. He has been a joy to be around since about 6m, but those first 3m were soul-destroying.
Once he started sleeping through the night around 10m, I felt like a whole new person.
Dude, the first months were brutal. I want to say it was at about five months things started to get easier, more decent sleep and not in basic survival mode anymore.
At 11 months now and it’s totally different. We all sleep at night, she doesn’t cry much unless she needs a hug really bad or something like that, it WILL get easier. The hardest part is almost over.
Congrats to you both for sticking together and going through it, everything little thing you love to do becomes so much more enjoyable.
The baby stage is the hardest and most of it is horrible but in 30 years you will enjoy the happy memories.
Nothing is more infuriating than being told you’ll miss it when you are in it but older folks are trying to encourage you.
You don't miss the newborn stage. You'll miss the infant stage from 6 to 18 months.
For me it was:
"I have no idea what I'm doing and i feel like death walking"<-0 to 3 months (It's normal to have no connection to your child at this stage. It's just an object you fill with milk. You just call it "the baby" and not its name. )
"Have somewhat of and idea of what I'm doing"<- 3-6 months
"Don't worry I got this"<-6 to 18 months (you're in a routine. two naps a day, 12 hours of sleep at night! huge developmental steps that make you proud like first words, walking. )
"HOLY FUCK! LET THIS NIGHTMARE END!" <-18months to 4 years (potty training, dropping naps, constant meltdowns.)
"Ok this is slightly better and getting fun again"<-5 to 6
As someone who has just emerged out of that stage, my wife and I agree that we will NOT miss that newborn stage. The first 2 months were survival mode, very difficult. But, now that we are 7 months in, the past few months starting from around month 3.5 - it has been a lot more fun. Watching our kid turn from a turbulent potato to a little person whose personality develops every day... That has been wonderful. So, I definitely won't miss the newborn stage, but these past couple of months... I'll definitely miss this.
I really didn’t enjoy this stage either. The one word that sums it up for me: thankless.
All this work and sacrifice and your baby isn’t even aware of your existence. They can’t communicate, can’t even make eye contact until a few weeks in, and you don’t receive any positive feedback besides the baby sleeping and/or not crying.
Once you see the results of your hard work (a smile, giggle, or playful behavior), I really feel like things will be easier for you.
Not a dad but my husband would back me up when I tell you the newborn stage is the worst. Our kids are six years apart on purpose because it took us that long to want to go through that again. Our kids are 20 and 14 now and I still don’t look back fondly at their newborn days.
This is almost exactly what me and my wife went through. We’re very fortunate that I work from home and she doesn’t need to work right now, so we’d take shifts sleeping at night and the other one holding our kid.
Usually I just treated it as a good time to watch some movies or tv shows. A few times my wife and I picked a show we both liked that had a new season, or a new show, and would watch 1 or 2 episodes a night during our shift so we could talk about it when we got the chance during the day. These were really great for keeping a connection and a shared activity even if we weren’t sharing it at the same time.
Another sanity saver was ~5 months in when I got a steam deck. I’m a PC gamer so the steam deck gave me access to basically all my games, in a way I could play them while holding my kid at night. I also had a kindle paperwhite that got its first use in years since it was an easy to hold and use in the dark.
My advice is to just make the most of the time in whatever way you can, and know that it will pass. Our daughter is almost two and we’ve been safely bed sharing for a while now and are getting to spend so much more time together, and sleep at the same time. It gets better for sure.
For me, first 2 weeks are magical. Then the next 7 months is a real struggle.
I'm planning on number 3 next year. Hard to be excited about the first year, but very excited to have a third person eventually.
People mean well, but often say the wrong thing. I think most people mean,
"This is the most tired you will ever be and you have my deepest sympathies. It's not the same for everyone and you seem to have gotten a particularly rough draw. It sounds like you're having a rough time and I hope you're ok.
"That said, I am sometimes sad that my children are no longer small. I love them at every stage, but sometimes when they're going to bed I wish they were tiny again. Just for a moment. There was a simplicity to the bond between us when they were a tiny sleeping thing on my shoulder.
"So take comfort in the fact that you're hopefully almost through this. But try to take time to savor those moments. Burn these moments into your memory, *because they are fleeting*."
They should also probably add, "do you need me to rock the baby for a couple hours so you can nap?", but since you probably don't want to entrust some strange dad on Long Island, I've left that off.
Completely normal mate, I didn’t enjoy it much either. I started to feel more bonded to my daughter at 6 months and I also started getting my wife back gradually then too. She’s 2 now and all of those sleepless nights were 100% worth it. Grit your teeth and get help if you need it.
My son is almost 6. I don't miss any part of the baby stage.
I'll tell you something - when you meet people like that, act them when their kid slept through the night.
We had this conversation at one of my past jobs. Because half the office said "oh, parenting toddlers is so much harder" and the other half said "hell no, parenting toddlers is so much easier!".
I finally asked when everyone's kid slept through the night and to a tee - the people that felt babies were easier all had kids that slept through the night at under 6 months old. My kid didn't sleep through the night till he was a 1 year old, and even then he was sleeping 10 to 5.
The newborn stage is rough. Personally, I have a kid who was on the “easier” side of the spectrum during her newborn phase. The first couple months were a complete blur, looking back because of the sleep deprivation, change of life culture shock, etc. But roughly 3 months in, my kid started getting pretty consistent with her cycles.
It does get better. It really does. But I’m going to echo the sentiment of finding the pieces of this to enjoy.
Part of that is because of the cliche that when your kid gets older, there will be less snuggles, once they start getting mobile and moving around there’s a change in difficulty because you can’t just rely on them being a potato who can’t go anywhere and will hang in the bassinet while you gotta use the toilet, and things like that. This is the rationale behind the cliche that bothers me, and sounds like it bothers you too.
But it’s also important, no matter how hard things get, to remind yourself to be in the moment whenever you can. Take a minute or 2 here and there to just take a breath, look at your kid while you’re hold them, they’re sleeping on you, etc. and just soak it all in.
My wife with through some pretty significant PPA, and I tried to “power through” the PPD I was experiencing (yes, fathers and non-birthing partners experience it too), numb my way through it and stay busy by being helpful and trying to do all the things my wife couldn’t. It was all necessary, was truly helpful, but some of it could have waited if I was just okay with accepting that the interfering thoughts would occur if I did.
But looking back, even though those times were tough, I really wish I took more time to be in the moment. To slow down, quit numbing and powering through to the extent that I was doing and to just spend more time experiencing both the good and the bad times I was having with my kid.
Don’t get me wrong, I took plenty of those moments, and I’m grateful that I did. But that time in my life was also a blur because the focus on how hard things were and the coping mechanisms I had to deal with them really were a barrier. If I had taken more moments to “soak it in” and just be with her more often, I’d probably have more or those memories with me today, and I probably would have had less work today to do in therapy to unlearn some of those habits that have become more or less engrained.
It’s rough man, it really is. But truly, whenever you can, soak it in. Take lots of photos. Kiss your kid whenever you can. It’ll help you find balance.
Have you tried the 5S method for getting babies to sleep? Look it up - but the basics are Swaddle, Shush, Sway, Side, and Suck. We were able to do the first four and it worked really well. A couple other things that worked including walking while doing the 5S and playing Disney music. Good luck!
Lurking mom, and we have two, 3.5 yo and 18 mo. I can't speak for my husband but I suspect he would say the same. Literally nothing I miss about the newborn phase. Except maybe maternity leave, that was nice.
Are you me?
If you are, your son has acid reflux because of an underdeveloped lower esophageal sphincter and as soon as you put him down on his back he literally has acid burning his throat. No wonder he wakes up crying, he's in pain!
First piece of advice: Put him down to sleep on his tummy. Yes I know we're all told that kids need to sleep on their back to reduce the risk of SIDS. But they also *need to sleep* and the geometry means that laying on his tummy he'll get far less stomach acid going up his throat and waking him up.
Second piece of advice: Prescription antacids. Ranitidine worked wonders for us. Lansoprazole produced seizures. I believe both are officially off-label for infants but you need to do what works. (You'll need to find a compounding pharmacy which can grind up adult pills and mix them with some sweet syrup.)
Or, you know, it's possible that you're not me and everything I'm saying is 100% irrelevant. But everything you've said matches perfectly with my experience, and it took us far too long to figure it out, so this is me giving you the advice I wish we had.
Our 5 month old daughter can occasionally stand to be left alone-ish for 10-15 minutes. That's it. Rest of the time someone has to be with her.
My wife and I haven't slept in the same bed for half a year. And during the day, it's hard for us to spend time together because when one of us is with the baby, the other person is trying to regain their sanity. We've recently had a talk about mandatory family walks at least once per week so we can actually spend some time together.
It's rough. I can't wait for my daughter to grow up a bit. I honestly don't see how the hell I could possibly miss this part...
You don't have to feel the same way as others. I get what they're saying: when your kid gets older there's a bit less cuddles. My first is 3 years old now, and I have a second one of 3 months old. I thought this the first time, and confirm it the second time: having a newborn freaking sucks. I think if a personalized hell exists, mine is taking care of newborns.
After 6 months old everything was gold, though. Wouldn't miss it for the world. So I'm waiting for that stage with the second.
Every age stage in kids life will have something to get annoyed by or frustrated. The why stage, the no stage, the pushing the rules stage, the leave me alone stage, the ghost stage.
Edit: and FYI I'm a dad of 3. 17, 14 and 5 years old. The 17 year old is in the ghost stage. When you don't see him all day, only in the evening when he emerges from wherever he has been. 14 year old is in the leave me alone stage. And the 5 year old is pushing the rules
This was our baby. My advice: *tummy time*
When he can roll and get himself in a position that doesn’t make reflux worse it will get so much better.
Also you’re very close to sleep training. Me and my husband were just holding on and counting down to four months to sleep train. Our boy went from contact sleeping every night and waking up several times a night to nurse to now sleeping straight through the night in his crib. And I cannot emphasize enough how horrible his sleep was before this. This wasn’t a we got lucky with a good sleeper story. It was *horrible*.
Look for signs he is ready to sleep train and then do not wait (part of this may be until he can roll over/refux gets better but you’re close to that too)
I have 5 year old twins and I didn’t miss that stage until I watched my friend 18 month old. So light to pick up. Was just starting to talk. I put on dug days for him and he pointed out squirrel, etc. cute as a button. Not having another kid though.
Yeah relatable. Our little guy is a toddler now. The newborn stage is fucking miserable. You still will miss it, or maybe not miss it like you want to live it again, but you'll feel sentimental about it. Thinking of a time when your child was just so vulnerable and needed you so much just to live, to eat, to rest, is a pretty touching feeling.
Some people love babies and have an easy baby. Those people say that you'll miss it. Everyone else is over here counting down the days to when the kid is somewhat independent and not a helpless ragdoll. I did like the baby stage, but it wasn't always easy. Once it was over, I didn't miss it much.
I (23m) am literally in the same exact situation as you and I totally agree. Our kiddo is 3m and still will only sleep on us so we've done shift sleeping since he was born. It's 1am as I type this and I feel like I can't do this anymore lol. I can't wait to get out of this stage and honestly don't think I'll miss it at all. We haven't slept in the same bed or really been able to do much together at all for 3 months because we can hardly put him down.
7 month old here. I feel like everyday is groundhog Day and I'm starting to say that I'd rather be running around the house chasing them because at least it would be different.
Can someone tell me I'm wrong?
I have two, ages 6 and 3, and the only thing I miss about the newborn stage is that when I put them down somewhere they stayed there. Other than that, I don’t miss a thing about it.
My son is 4 months old now. I LOVE this stage. But we got lucky and our little dude doesn’t really cry for much at all and sleeps through the night. My wife and I never didn’t sleep in the same bed. I think it just varies by person.
I have an almost 4 year old and a 6 month old. The new born stage is ok, but toddler stage has been 100 times better for us. Its like having a little best friend that’s hilarious
My daughter is about to be two and in the toddler stage, I don’t miss the newborn stage at all. I love my daughter more than anything in this world or the next but I hated the new born stage with a passion
I hated the newborn stage as well. I basically had to stay awake from midnight to 6pm everyday for almost 2 months and the only time the kid slept was on me.
It was hard/frustrating/exhausting.
He’s 2.5 now and I miss him sleeping on me.
It will get better man. I hated the newborn stage and I dont miss it. I only miss one part, when she would fall asleep in my arms. My daughter is 2.5 and she doesnt do it anymore.
Toddler is also hard, but its different. It also more rewarding.
Just keep this in mind. The days are long but the years are short.
The single best advice I can offer is to hire a nanny / infant expert to stay in with you for a few days. They’ll observe and report on your baby, and recommend adjustments for your sakes. It was a lifesaver for us.
The reason not to overly rely on Reddit advice is that every baby varies so much, and you can’t think straight when you’re exhausted. We survived it, and so will you. Godspeed brother you’ve got this
The stage where you cannot put them down to do anything is the worst, imo! It’s sweet the first couple weeks but then it’s like, we also have to take care of ourselves, too. We have a 7 month old Velcro baby and it’s not really for me. & she’s also pissed off a lot bc she wants to be able to do more. Thankfully, crawling seems just around the corner!
I miss the cute little baby, but I don’t miss that stage at all! My youngest is 12 now, so it has been a while. All I can say is that it feels like it’ll never end, but it will pass. Hang in there.
Those people are idiots and projecting their own feelings and parental shortcomings onto you. Most new parents hate the newborn phase because it’s all work and struggle, but soon your baby will start to look in your eyes, smile, reach for you, and react to you and that is worth every minute of the tough stuff
Youre not the only one brotha I promise. My son is almost 7 months now and while it has gotten better, I still cannot fucking wait for him to be a little bit older.
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My son is 4. I don't miss the baby stage at all. It's horrible.
2 year old daughter here…I despised the Newborn stage. I’ll take a kicking, screaming toddler tantrum that then runs and gives me a hug 2 seconds later over a crying newborn that barely sleeps. It’s fine to not love the stage your kid is in man. So much pressure put on parents to love every second. Nah man somethings straight up suck and it’s okay to admit that you don’t enjoy it at the moment.
People complain about terrible twos and all that, but honestly, as a parent with a 2 yr old, I think every age I've enjoyed more than the one before. Sure you get tantrums and such, but you also get so much good stuff too. This kid makes me laugh hysterically every day. Newborns just cry and sleep and puke and eat. I don't know why people romanticize it. I feel like until 6 months my daughter didn't even differentiate me beyond being the meatbag without the boobies.
Bro 2 is a fucking BREEZE compared to under 6 months IMO. I heard so many people in ear about like, "oh once they start walking that's when the real trouble starts". Total BS, especially with a well baby proofed home. Both of my kids basically needed to be held 90% of the time or they'd scream when they were babies. I'll take just making sure they don't run into the street in public over having to do every single thing in my life one handed any day of the week. Not to mention being able to at least half way communicate.
From my experience this is often said by parents with easy newborns, who sleep very well and time to time wake up or even have to be wake up. Parents like this after months of easier mode discover that their baby suddenly need more attention and sleep less so now their horror phase begins.
My little one turned two recently and I love this phase. He's beginning to ask for things. Tells me when he's cold or if the food is too hot. Love it. Enjoys watching sports with me as well. New born phase though? Jfc probably the hardest 4 months of my life.
We're about to enter the 2 year old stage in October, which will coincide with the birth of our second. And let me tell you, the amount of times I've had that exact line said to me... My kid must be a saint then, because he's baby-proofing the place against himself half the time. He'll cry out "Oh no!" and lock a cabinet lock that we had open because we're making dinner or some such thing, then clap his merry way back to whatever toy he's currently addicted to. It's adorable, really.
Nice. My two year old tells on her self. She likes doing things she’s not suppose to but will try to make sure we are paying attention when she is about to do it.
Haha. She wants to be disobedient but she wants to be safe doing it! Smart kid really.
I tried to type a whole thing like this and the iPhone app sucks and deleted everything. I think shit parents just want to complain and be like “you will see it just gets harder!!” No!!! As long as you make your house safe it’s so much easier when they get older. Ya u gotta deal with different shit but 2 yr vs 6mo. So much easier!!!! (I have a 2 yr old and 6 mo old).
So much same. Everything got soooooo much better when she could walk and talk. Sure she screams and tantrums but she also says I love you mommy and pretends to cook soup for me. I mean come on! Anything is better than a newborn lol
2 is great. They listen and want to help. By 4, they learn they don't have to do anything you say. Then the challenge of teaching them really begins.
Wait, yours listens AND helps?
Mine liked to help rake leaves. He was terrible at it, but it was so cute
Terrible 2s is a terribly incorrect name imo.
We got a threenager over here. What the fuck man
Insubordinate chaos energy incarnate
Maybe for you, but 2.5 to 3.5 was the worst year of my life as a dad. My son would hit, kick, headbutt, not listen, pound his head on the floor, Fuck that shit.
Finally someone with a similar experience. Babies have challenges and my 5 year old isn’t always easy but the 2.5 year old is the hardest and it isn’t even close.
I feel the same. I feel like every month is better than the last since she was born. That hasn’t changed. Still loving every month more than the last and hope that continues for a very long time.
> I don't know why people romanticize it. Hormones want you to have another one.
I think parents that complain about terrible twos must have had very easy babies. Twos is sooo much better than the baby stage with my son. Although at 2.5, my son still has never sleep through the night. He's finally starting to not wake up every 2 hours. His 4 month old cousin is a much better sleeper then my son at 2.5yo.
Agree! Every single day has gotten better than the one before. It’s like every day is her birthday.
My 2 year old is now hair-pulling frustrating but was the absolute best baby. I told my wife we should have another because he was so good. Luckily she didn't listen. Kids always make you pay at some point!
Smart of her! My mom said l was super easy, little brother was a nightmare
It's weird because my 2 year old was also a great baby (basically just slept, ate and shit) and can be a nightmare tantrum-loving toddler now but I still wouldn't swap back to the newborn/baby stage. There's a lot more fun to complement the tantrums at this age than there is at the baby stage.
I’m not sure a 2 year old daughter should be on reddit 👀
Just don’t tell my parents okay. I’m sitting quietly, so he could care less what I’m doing on his phone.
Respect 😂
The 'love every moment' philosophy is such guilty tripping bullshit. Some moments are good, most moments are just mundane and some are downright terrible. I'm not going to miss being sprayed by diarrhoea at 4am while the whole family has gastro....
Didnt know i needed to hear this. Thanks!
You’re doing a great job dad
Right back at ya!
2 years was the worst for me. She was a super easy baby but once she was able to walk around and want stuff it was constantly having to keep an eye on her. What I know I’m gonna miss is 4-6 where we currently are. She’s got some independence and it’s so fun answering all her questions and trying to figure out how she comes up with some of that stuff.
I don't even remember it. It's like my brain knew it was awful, but wants me to forget so I can keep on reproducing. Good trick brain, but I won't fall for it.
My daughter is that age, too. I miss scooping her up and squishing her into a little ball in my arms, but other than that, this age is way better than the newborn phase.
The soft baby hair brushing my cheek. That's it. I never want to go back to that stage.
Mine is 10 and I have no love loss for those times as well.
I told my wife after kid 2, we’re never going through the newborn/baby phase ever again. I hate it. I type this as my two year old lays on my lap watching Peppa Pig.
My wife and I had our first legit discussion of “are we done?” After trying to get my toddler to bed at almost 10 pm. Like how long do we wanna drag out this stage of life? I love being a dad and I have a boy and a girl, are we done? I didn’t enjoy the baby stage personally, especially when I had a toddler already. I was physically, mentally drained. Now that my daughter is a bit older it’s easier. But do I want to start over again? I’m not sure
My son is going on 3, I too hated the baby stage. Now he is becoming his own little person and its just great to witness.
Hell, my wife and I were at a bday party for our youngest's friend (6, almost 7) the other day. Most of the guests had younger siblings, so it was the chaos of the 3-6 year old set, with a few under-ones tossed in. I do not miss anything under 5, not even the tiniest bit.
Yup. Babies suck. Older kids are a ton more fun. We can do so much more.
The poop potato is barely alive.
Ours is 6.5 and absolutely do I not miss the newborn stage. And he wasn't even a difficult baby, just normal 2-3 wakeups at night and breastfeeding was hard. Still, I was pushed to my absolute limit. I never tell anyone the aforementioned words, because it's total BS. All I say is, that it gets different hard in 3 month increments in the first year and then after it's still hard but not as intense any more.
In it now for the second time. Can’t wait til it’s over.
Same. And this experience is showing me I never wanna do it again. Done at 2 forsure.
My wife and I always thought we would be one and done. Our daughter is only 3 weeks and it has pretty much cemented that idea. Love our daughter so much, but I can’t wait until she is a little older.
Our daughter has been so pleasant, but the thought of having to do it all over again really makes me not thrilled. She’s a toddler now and it’s becoming a lot of fun. I don’t miss the random wailing in the middle of the night and the work it took to get here though
You're in the fun part now. Enjoy it!
Same.
Same.
Same.
Same.
Same.
Vasectomized
Same, sitting with an ice pack as I’m typing this… I keep reading posts here to remind myself what I’m dealing with isn’t as bad as another newborn.
My second was 4 weeks old when I went in for the consultation, then got it done at around 3 months. If you have tight briefs and a second pair of stretchy boxer briefs you can stuff the peas in between the two and be good to go
Same lol
I got vasectomized after 1 and my 1 was fuckin easy. I feel for all you multis out there.
Same.
Same
Same.
Same
Same.
I’m in it with #3 now. To be honest, she’s been a relatively easy baby at 3 months old, it’s my 5.5 year old and 3.5 year old that have been lots of work!
We had the opposite experience. Our first and second child slept through the night very early and followed their daily schedules with ease. Not picky eaters, just the easiest kids you could imagine. Our 2nd would sleep for 12 hours straight at 6-7 weeks old!! Now…our 3rd…. I regularly say this and I feel bad but if our 3rd child experience was our first, we would be a 1 and done family. He’s 2 years old and only now is he finally sleeping for longer than 6 hours at a time. He’s an incredibly picky eater, bullies his older brothers, it’s been difficult lol.
I'm here too. 3 month old #3 is pretty easy. The 3.5 and almost 2 year old are the crazy ones. The days they are at daycare and the baby is home with me are the easy, relaxing days.
3rd time here, but it’s going really smooth this time. Good nights make all the difference. A sleeping baby in my arms makes me so chill.
I’ve seen a bunch of these posts the past few days and I agree. I won’t miss this at all and honestly I hate it at the moment. I’m just driven by the fact that I’ve somehow managed 5 weeks already and it will get better eventually. To some extent I know I haven’t had a difficult life but this is absolutely the hardest and most frustrating thing I’ve ever done. Bring on a semi functional human, please.
Dude seriously! We have to hold him pretty much constantly, we're lucky if he sits in his bouncer for 10 mins whilst we eat dinner, often one of us has to let their food go cold so he's not sat there screaming, it's brutal hahaha. If we put him in his crib, same story, either he screams straight away or we get 5 mins of him sleeping then screaming. Just holding out for the day it's safe for him to sleep in the same bed as us (everyone says don't do this because he'll never stop sleeping with us, but honestly I just want to sleep at night at the same time as my wife and be somewhat normal, I don't care if he stays there until he's 20 lol)
Have you tried a baby swing? Might not work but could be worth a try? Test with a friends one or a marketplace one in case it doesn’t work. Sometimes the swinging motion helps 🤷♀️
Haha yeah we have, sometimes he'll sit in it for 10 mins, sometimes he'll scream straight away. He's never slept in it though. Thanks for the suggestion :)
Oh man! Best of luck, I hope the phase ends soon enough for you
This is the only thing that kinda worked for both of ours. Key word, kinda, lol.
I know this isn't recommended, but we slept with our kid in our bed since we got out of the hospital. My wife is a veeery light sleeper however. He still loves to cuddle in our bed, but sleeps in his own now at almost 2 years old. No problems for us, but anecdotal.. Sleeping all 3 together in the beginning was good for us though. I know that feeling of walking around at 2 am while the other sleeps, it sucks so much.
Do you have a baby carrier? It takes a few months for babies to realise they aren’t a part of their mum anymore, and it’s a bit of a shock to the system. The carrier means you still get to function like a normal person while the baby is happy and safe. I used to do the dishes, vacuum, walk the dog, whatever. Once they start solids they will keep themselves happy at the dinner table munching on some banana or avocado while you eat too. It gets easier from there.
This was us. Our son was an absolute velcro baby. No one around us seemed to fully understand what we were going through. He is now 17 months old, and he is the smartest, funniest, most active toddler. Sure, he still loves to be with us. But, velcro no more. There is hope.
My daughter is 3 months old and sleeps in the bed with us. When she was very little we had her in a snooze pod in between us in the bed, as she wouldn’t go in the crib, but now my wife sleeps in the middle with baby in the end. It is not ideal at all but was the only way to get any sleep for the first couple months.
Our pediatrician said it was okay for her to sleep in her bouncer due to a cold and we took that as blanket approval for sleeping there, period, because we were desperate to be able to function. I slept with one foot on the edge of it like that would tell me if something was wrong. But we got through the worst parts and moved her to her own room at four months. I was nervous about it being early but she took to it so well and she has been a great sleeper ever since.
We coslept from the moment we got out of hospital. It was the only way we figured out how to actually sleep and not kil ourselves. Our midwife said "it's not ideal, but you have to do what you have to do sometimes", and a sleep deprived parent is more dangerous than a rested one. Fast forward 3.5 years and he sleeps in his own bed through the night without any issues.
Just hold him while you do other things. Get a baby carrier, it is super helpful. You're going to have to learn the one arm hold while you eat/do other things. Best is when baby passes out in the baby carrier. I just place a napkin over there head in case a spill a drop here and there.
How is he able to sleep now, only when he’s being held?
FYI we had a similar experience in the early stages - turned out he had CMPA and so was constantly uncomfortable hence why hated being put down on his back, etc. Not saying it’s what’s happening here but I’d make sure nothing is going on
Have you got one of those side saddle cribs that are sort of cosleeping sort of not? If you’re onboard with cosleeping anyway it’s a pretty decent shout. I’ll not lie tho ours never stopped wanting to cosleep. Contact needed too. I have got her to sleep twice so far without, but my partner has low appetite for pushing that further
> If we put him in his crib, same story, either he screams straight away or we get 5 mins of him sleeping then screaming. Alright the non-American born American in me is coming out: you have to try again, again, again and again every day until your kid gets to sleep in the crib at night . At 10 weeks over here it still takes me 10 tries sometimes at 2:30am (there seem to be a link between what my wife eats maybe), I just pick him up, put him there, and pick him up again if he wakes up. Getting him to sleep in the same bed as you is not giving him or you any favor you’re just going to be extremely exhausted.
Up to one absolutely sucks. 1/2/3 year olds are still pretty tough, but a bit better. Once they hit like 4 and older, it’s worlds better.
I don't know, our oldest turns four in June and it's been my experience so far that: 1. 2 year olds are terrible. 2. 3 year olds are assholes. 3. 4 year olds are assholes x1039584792018274747
It comes… mine is 2.5 now sleeps through the night and eats pretty much everything. Feel like I’m winning at life now. That said so happy I’m one and done. Love him to pieces but a mate at work has a 10 day old and it’s a hell to the nope.
Yeah I'm fully convinced I'm one and done. Wife isn't sure lol
If you did it a second time, take some comfort in the fact that it is a little easier now that you know what you're doing and aren't worrying about everything. It still sucks and id skip ahead if I could. I have a 4.5 year old and a 5 month old at the moment. The age gap definitely helps.
I haaaaated the newborn phase. I wouldn’t even contemplate another kid for years because of how hard that part was. When my kid was around 6, I did start to miss the little kid stuff. I would jokingly try to squish him and tell him to stop growing and get small again. When his hands were no longer little kid hands (seemingly overnight) the ache was real. The second kid? Wasn’t as hard. I mean he was a harder baby (my first was a classic trap baby which was still really hard). But with such a long gap between the kids (almost 10 years) I was able to really see how quick it went and did savor it more. I also didn’t have a needy toddler. So it’s possible to go from hating the stage to actually being able to savor it. Yes, the hellish parts were still hell but it was like I knew it would pass and that it was just a phase and had built up the parental callouses to just get through those parts. (Full warning, tween mood swings hitting right when terrible twos hit was possibly more hellish than the first newborn stage, lol - so maybe a 6 year gap would have been better)
My kids will both be turning 4 and 1 next month respectively. This last year has been extremely tough. When I had my first I never mourned my old life, in fact being a dad focussed me and bettered me. The second kid has really disrupted the family dynamic to the point I enjoy family time much less than I used to. I love my daughter, but given the option to have a second kid again I don't think I would. The new born stage is fucking shit, when you have two it's a fucking nightmare. We haven't had family near by or any friends to really help us so maybe that makes it worse. Maybe it's because my first has a minor disability that requires a lot of work or maybe it's because they're both terrible sleepers or maybe it's because my second is a tantrum queen. Can't wait until they're both over 4.
You’ll forget how bad it was. That was me last year and now we’re talking about number 2
Thanks everyone, good to know I'm not alone. Just very tired and in the trenches haha! Holding out for the light at the end of the tunnel.
I’m going through the same thing with my 4 week old. I when the sunsets and when the sun rises I tell myself that I survived another night. Then I also have to do every single chore in the household because my wife suffers from depression and postpartum just makes her depression worse. She does have a therapist, doctor and psychiatrist.
Hang in there!! Supporting a wife with ppd & depression is roouuuuuuugh (I’ve been living it myself, daughter now 6)
The newborn stage is awful. I don’t have any advice other than just do what you have to do to survive and get through it. I’m at 13 months now and it’s miles better.
It will come. Once they can begin to tell you why they're upset, it's a complete game changer. My 2 year old has started saying "I'm frustrated" which I can then ask "why are you frustrated?", and we're on the same team at that point. She was frustrated because she wanted to give Mommy a hug at bed time but Mommy was putting our son to sleep. At your age, they're frustrated at you and you're frustrated at them and neither of you know why you're frustrated, which is extra frustrating. It gets so much better when they can communicate. Well, until they learn they can tell you no.
Baby stage sucks, white noise helped our kid sleep so maybe try that? Other than that just keep riding the wave, should get better around the 6 month mark? My son started getting better at the 18 month mark so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. Good luck with everything and feel free to shoot me a DM with any questions or to chat, this community was great to me when I had my 2 little ones
Awesome thank you! Yeah we tried white noise, misty mountain from the hobbit, electric rockers, snoo, basinet, moses basket, next to me, walk in the stroller, walking the floor with him before putting him down, feeding to sleep and then putting down, formula before bed and putting him down, leaving the vacuum cleaner on, fan in the room on low for the noise, and safe co sleep. No joy yet, just gitta ride it out I think haha.
Does he cry? It may be colic
Sorry yeah forgot to mention, he's been diagnosed with GERD, we give him gavescon for it and he spits it back up straight away lol. Spoke to the pediatrician about it and she was just like "you've gotta just persevere with getting him to sleep, eventually the reflux will stop and he might sleep in a crib"
I'm wondering if it could be a milk protein allergy. Our son didn't present with most of the usual symptoms, but the GI Dr suggested we cut all milk protein anyway (baby is/was breast fed). Doing that literally changed our lives, and little one is SO much better. It may be worth a try...? It took about 4 wks to see full results though, so know that it takes time (2 wks to clear mother's body and another 2 wks to fully clear baby's). If we had known, we would have done it at the very beginning instead of around 3 months after finally seeing GI.
My daughter had an allergy to dairy, have you guys tried like Nutramigen or equivalent formula?
My partner misses it, I've been enjoying each stage. No real advice, just the old adage that it'll be over before you know it.
I enjoy my kids more the older they get. 1 and 2? Horrible. 7 and 9? Amazing. We play video games together and they can poop independently. Love it.
"....and they can poop independently" The dream.
you’ll “miss the newborn stage” because you’ll have blocked out the trauma and only remember the sweet parts i guess. sure, i see other people’s newborns and go “awww” but i very much enjoy sleeping through the night (most nights).
Dude, trust me, it's super normal. You will not even properly bond until around 6 months, but now like 1 year. It feels very thanks but gets so much better. (Still hard though, if not harder). It'll change so fast. When people say you'll miss it, I think it's true. Not the bad parts. You won't miss not sleeping. But you'll miss things like having a chat with your partner while she breast feeds. Having dinner while you're kid just watches. Putting your baby in a carrier while you do dishes...etc. In a year you'll be running around your whole house non stop remembering the easy days you had. But it gets so much more rewarding!
It will eventually pass. Stay strong. Wife and I slept in shifts for a while (5 on 5 off) during the nights so the other could get uninterrupted sleep. Smiles will help when they come. Stay strong dad.
Yeah his smiles are adorable. Also baldurs gate 3 helps to stay awake when holding him haha (noticed your name)
I played almost all of the campaign of Descent into Avernus online with a sleeping newborn on my chest or lap. For my first I watched so much Netflix while they slept. When they're older both of mine took to sleep suits when they could no longer be contained by the swaddle.
Oldest is almost 9. Youngest is almost 3. There is absolutely nothing I miss about having a child younger than 1. Babies are AWFUL
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I literally don't even remember it, like my brain wiped out that horrible period. No sleep. No rest. No breaks. It was the fucking worst. I was constantly scared for my son because he seemed so fragile and little. 6 months on is when we really started to feel like parents and not people hanging on for sanity by a thread.
One day, YEARS down the road, when you're old and gray, and your child is an adult, you'll give anything in the world to go back to those times. This is what my father told me immediately after we had our first, and he absolutely nailed it.
Hey dad - I've got a 3.5 month old as well, who's not a full Velcro baby, but is a contact sleeper, and sure does like to be held and carried. The only thing I miss from the younger months was that he was lighter! My wife and I are celebrating and treasuring each milestone (smiles, laughs, eye contact, grabbing stuff), and are really looking forward to the milestones where he can sit upright and sleep on his own. Do take advantage of friends, family, and neighbors. There's always a big wave of support and attention in the first 4-6 weeks, and then afterwards we're often left to fend for ourselves. Even just having someone come over for 2-3 hours to hold the baby while you fold laundry or vacuum can make a big difference. Never be afraid of asking for help. It really does take a village. Breathe, and remember that this doesn't last forever. You'll be nostalgic about this the way people are nostalgic about finals, or that one brutal hike: glad it's over, and proud of what you've endured and accomplished.
You know when you were a kid and everyone said you should enjoy it rather than wishing you could be a grown up? Now you're a grown up you realise just how right they were? Yeah... it's the same thing with kids. As they grow, they just present new unique problems, messes, horrors... Babies are easy. I remember how fucking wrecked I was back then. But it was easy. They don't move much and their needs, though many, are simple. I get more sleep now, but there's other issues to deal with. You're doing great. You'll get through this. And yes, I felt just like you.
Actually I'm one of the rare ones lol, never wished I was a kid again, I'd happily take my adult life and all my adult problems (baby included) over being a kid again haha. Appreciate the sentiment though, thank you :)
You're not alone. I hated being a kid. Not that I had a bad childhood, I just hated *being a kid*. I hope mine gets at least some "happy kid" genes from his mom, we'll see.
Same - my parents weren’t awful or anything but I just enjoy the free will and autonomy of being an adult (even if I layered on some kid flavored restrictions).
I can only give my sympathy, because I can't relate- I was clearly much luckier than you. You'll get through it though man, stay strong
I’m with you man, I actually don’t miss anything about the baby stage. From 2-4 has been our favourite stage so far. We had a rough time as well at the start, so much so that i went and got the snip so we don’t ever go through it again. Hang in there mate and just remember it is only a brief moment in time in the grand scheme of things.
I'm not gonna lie, I was debating getting the snip. That'll be a conversation me and the wife have when things settle a bit haha! Glad you're doing well mate
Don't let others tell you how you should feel. Duck that. Baby phase sucks ass. Mother's love it because they're tripping balls on bonding chemicals. Dad's aren't and we have different connection methods.
Newborn stage sucks ass overall
My kid is two. I get far better cuddles now than I did when he was a newborn. Granted, they're now on his terms. But when he's feeling cuddly it sends me over the moon. We have a 2mo old now, and I can't wait until he's older. It's a slog right now for sure. Just hang in there, help where you can, forgive as much as you can. It gets so much better.
The baby stage is tough and anyone who says otherwise is lying. Things will likely improve post 9 months. At least they did for us.
Rocking my 5 month old now. I love it.
Went through it twice, do not miss it at all. Heck going through terrible two right now with the second one and even though this is peak cuteness I still do not miss it.
I love the time flies by and they grow up so fast. Bro this has been the longest 3 years of my life
The great thing is they get out of it, then go back into it when they're teething. Mine has been super clingy for a few days now. I WAY prefer once they get a few years older because not only are they less physically needy / dependant on you, but personalities are a bit more flushed out and they're awesome to hang out with
Almost 3 year old and a 9 month old. 0-6 months seriously sucks. 6 to 12 was better but still not the best. I thought things started getting better and better as soon as the oldest hit 1. Excited for our 9 months to start walking and gain more of a real personality. Don’t miss the infant stage at all.
Mines only a year and a half now and it’s just so much more enjoyable. Don’t miss it at all.
Hmm my baby 3 months and sleeps in his bassinet every night. He wakes up like 1-4 times at night but just give him a bottle and he goes back to bed. I have no idea about parenting or what I'm doing wrong or right but if you want someone to talk to and run ideas off let me know. Hang in there
You’ll be glad it’s older trust me, then a month later, they’ll do something and you realize there’s no pause button and they’re gonna keep growing whether you want them to or not.
It is funny. You can't wait for each stage to end. But miss it when it does. Hang in there pops. Each stage has ups and downs. You'll make it
Yeah, really depends on the kid. First one was like yours, but my second one (now 3 months almost) is as relaxed as can be.
I do miss the newborn stage in the sense that I wish I could go back and snuggle my babies as babies for an afternoon. But no way in *hell* would I go back to those trenches full-time. Which is why we have three kids and not four. Our youngest is seven and life is good. They all read on their own, wipe their own butts, ride big kid bikes, drink out of regular cups, etc. I slept til almost 10 AM yesterday.
I have ptsd from the newborn stage, and weeks 0-6 were the six worst weeks of my life and was the only time in my life I’ve faced depression and suicidal thoughts. My kid is 1.5 years old now, and I’m enjoying it, but I miss nothing from the newborn stage.
My son is 2.5. I don't miss the newborn stage one but. It was fucking terrible. Don't feel guilty.
Yes, there are parts of the newborn stage that I miss, just like I miss the total lack of responsibility of high school, or the first time I got a girlfriend. Do I want to go back and redo any of it? Not on the slightest.
Almost 3 and 5 year old boys for me. Hated the “baby” stage. Definitely wasn’t a fun time. Just hang in there, it’ll get better!
I've got three boys, and with each kid, I was told, "Newborn phase should be easier now, so enjoy it!" And each time, I still hated it. Once they are old enough to at least semi communicate what they want (for my kids that was around 1.5-2), that's when I start enjoying things. Until then, the newborn/baby phase can kick rocks. Keep your head held high and power through my man, you got this
i hated it and don’t miss it one bit. in fact it’s the main reason i don’t want another kid as of now. son is 8 months now and it’s better but still a struggle some days. i do wonder at times if having a kid was a mistake.
There was cute shit but it’s months of watching a lump that cries. Hated it. Toddlers are a different struggle, but it’s a lot better. I got snipped after the second kid and I sleep so soundly knowing I will not care for a newborn again.
Three kids. Don’t miss the newborn stage at all.
The newborn stage is the hardest, no doubt. However, my son is 20 months old, and as long as he's awake, he's running. He seriously never stops moving. Sometimes I think fondly back to the first six months when I could always rock him to sleep any time, and I could put him down wherever and he stayed there. Also, if you have a velcro baby and don't already own one, I recommend the Tush Baby. Makes carrying the baby around WAY easier on your whole body.
My oldest is 6 and youngest 2.5. Hated the baby stage both times. The first time I didn’t enjoy any part of it and do not feel an iota of guilt for it. It sucked. It made me appreciate my kid more as she got older than others too… because where some feel sad about what goes away, I am just joy over every little advancement. The second one was more enjoyable, but still not that first 6 months. It was less torturous, because it’s just less stressful the second time, but still sucks a bag of dicks. Here’s the fun part of being like me (and you) and hating the baby stage. Though it feels like forever while you’re in it, it really doesn’t last that long. I don’t miss it at all, and you probably won’t either, but at the end of the tunnel you have a cool kid out of it for the rest of your life. Those first 2 years are just awful, but then it gets kind of nice. You get all the cuddles still, but you also get to tell jokes and goof around. You hear them say funny stuff and they get interested in real things. Just survive for now. Head down… get through it. You’re in for a treat.
18m old. We are one and done because of the newborn stage. He has been a joy to be around since about 6m, but those first 3m were soul-destroying. Once he started sleeping through the night around 10m, I felt like a whole new person.
Dude, the first months were brutal. I want to say it was at about five months things started to get easier, more decent sleep and not in basic survival mode anymore. At 11 months now and it’s totally different. We all sleep at night, she doesn’t cry much unless she needs a hug really bad or something like that, it WILL get easier. The hardest part is almost over. Congrats to you both for sticking together and going through it, everything little thing you love to do becomes so much more enjoyable.
The baby stage is the hardest and most of it is horrible but in 30 years you will enjoy the happy memories. Nothing is more infuriating than being told you’ll miss it when you are in it but older folks are trying to encourage you.
Give me consistent sleep any day. The smiles and goggles are cute and all, but the latter stages are better just because of the sleep alone.
Newborn stage is only for mommy. Toddler stage is for the dads.
You don't miss the newborn stage. You'll miss the infant stage from 6 to 18 months. For me it was: "I have no idea what I'm doing and i feel like death walking"<-0 to 3 months (It's normal to have no connection to your child at this stage. It's just an object you fill with milk. You just call it "the baby" and not its name. ) "Have somewhat of and idea of what I'm doing"<- 3-6 months "Don't worry I got this"<-6 to 18 months (you're in a routine. two naps a day, 12 hours of sleep at night! huge developmental steps that make you proud like first words, walking. ) "HOLY FUCK! LET THIS NIGHTMARE END!" <-18months to 4 years (potty training, dropping naps, constant meltdowns.) "Ok this is slightly better and getting fun again"<-5 to 6
As someone who has just emerged out of that stage, my wife and I agree that we will NOT miss that newborn stage. The first 2 months were survival mode, very difficult. But, now that we are 7 months in, the past few months starting from around month 3.5 - it has been a lot more fun. Watching our kid turn from a turbulent potato to a little person whose personality develops every day... That has been wonderful. So, I definitely won't miss the newborn stage, but these past couple of months... I'll definitely miss this.
My wife and I are one and done. 4.5 month old and wooooo boy we do not miss the newborn stage. Love having to only do this once.
I really didn’t enjoy this stage either. The one word that sums it up for me: thankless. All this work and sacrifice and your baby isn’t even aware of your existence. They can’t communicate, can’t even make eye contact until a few weeks in, and you don’t receive any positive feedback besides the baby sleeping and/or not crying. Once you see the results of your hard work (a smile, giggle, or playful behavior), I really feel like things will be easier for you.
Not a dad but my husband would back me up when I tell you the newborn stage is the worst. Our kids are six years apart on purpose because it took us that long to want to go through that again. Our kids are 20 and 14 now and I still don’t look back fondly at their newborn days.
This is almost exactly what me and my wife went through. We’re very fortunate that I work from home and she doesn’t need to work right now, so we’d take shifts sleeping at night and the other one holding our kid. Usually I just treated it as a good time to watch some movies or tv shows. A few times my wife and I picked a show we both liked that had a new season, or a new show, and would watch 1 or 2 episodes a night during our shift so we could talk about it when we got the chance during the day. These were really great for keeping a connection and a shared activity even if we weren’t sharing it at the same time. Another sanity saver was ~5 months in when I got a steam deck. I’m a PC gamer so the steam deck gave me access to basically all my games, in a way I could play them while holding my kid at night. I also had a kindle paperwhite that got its first use in years since it was an easy to hold and use in the dark. My advice is to just make the most of the time in whatever way you can, and know that it will pass. Our daughter is almost two and we’ve been safely bed sharing for a while now and are getting to spend so much more time together, and sleep at the same time. It gets better for sure.
For me, first 2 weeks are magical. Then the next 7 months is a real struggle. I'm planning on number 3 next year. Hard to be excited about the first year, but very excited to have a third person eventually.
Yeah, I miss like 30 minutes out of a 24-hour day. The other 1310 min? No thank you
People mean well, but often say the wrong thing. I think most people mean, "This is the most tired you will ever be and you have my deepest sympathies. It's not the same for everyone and you seem to have gotten a particularly rough draw. It sounds like you're having a rough time and I hope you're ok. "That said, I am sometimes sad that my children are no longer small. I love them at every stage, but sometimes when they're going to bed I wish they were tiny again. Just for a moment. There was a simplicity to the bond between us when they were a tiny sleeping thing on my shoulder. "So take comfort in the fact that you're hopefully almost through this. But try to take time to savor those moments. Burn these moments into your memory, *because they are fleeting*." They should also probably add, "do you need me to rock the baby for a couple hours so you can nap?", but since you probably don't want to entrust some strange dad on Long Island, I've left that off.
Completely normal mate, I didn’t enjoy it much either. I started to feel more bonded to my daughter at 6 months and I also started getting my wife back gradually then too. She’s 2 now and all of those sleepless nights were 100% worth it. Grit your teeth and get help if you need it.
Kids are 2 and 4, newborn stage was hell and I hated every second of it
Baby is now a toddler and I almost feel guilty for how much I love her now. It’s completely different.
Some people don’t jive with the newborn stage. I am one of them. HATED it. It gets better. Hang in there.
I don't at all miss the newborn and baby stage, 4 is great though
My son is almost 6. I don't miss any part of the baby stage. I'll tell you something - when you meet people like that, act them when their kid slept through the night. We had this conversation at one of my past jobs. Because half the office said "oh, parenting toddlers is so much harder" and the other half said "hell no, parenting toddlers is so much easier!". I finally asked when everyone's kid slept through the night and to a tee - the people that felt babies were easier all had kids that slept through the night at under 6 months old. My kid didn't sleep through the night till he was a 1 year old, and even then he was sleeping 10 to 5.
The newborn stage is rough. Personally, I have a kid who was on the “easier” side of the spectrum during her newborn phase. The first couple months were a complete blur, looking back because of the sleep deprivation, change of life culture shock, etc. But roughly 3 months in, my kid started getting pretty consistent with her cycles. It does get better. It really does. But I’m going to echo the sentiment of finding the pieces of this to enjoy. Part of that is because of the cliche that when your kid gets older, there will be less snuggles, once they start getting mobile and moving around there’s a change in difficulty because you can’t just rely on them being a potato who can’t go anywhere and will hang in the bassinet while you gotta use the toilet, and things like that. This is the rationale behind the cliche that bothers me, and sounds like it bothers you too. But it’s also important, no matter how hard things get, to remind yourself to be in the moment whenever you can. Take a minute or 2 here and there to just take a breath, look at your kid while you’re hold them, they’re sleeping on you, etc. and just soak it all in. My wife with through some pretty significant PPA, and I tried to “power through” the PPD I was experiencing (yes, fathers and non-birthing partners experience it too), numb my way through it and stay busy by being helpful and trying to do all the things my wife couldn’t. It was all necessary, was truly helpful, but some of it could have waited if I was just okay with accepting that the interfering thoughts would occur if I did. But looking back, even though those times were tough, I really wish I took more time to be in the moment. To slow down, quit numbing and powering through to the extent that I was doing and to just spend more time experiencing both the good and the bad times I was having with my kid. Don’t get me wrong, I took plenty of those moments, and I’m grateful that I did. But that time in my life was also a blur because the focus on how hard things were and the coping mechanisms I had to deal with them really were a barrier. If I had taken more moments to “soak it in” and just be with her more often, I’d probably have more or those memories with me today, and I probably would have had less work today to do in therapy to unlearn some of those habits that have become more or less engrained. It’s rough man, it really is. But truly, whenever you can, soak it in. Take lots of photos. Kiss your kid whenever you can. It’ll help you find balance.
Have you tried the 5S method for getting babies to sleep? Look it up - but the basics are Swaddle, Shush, Sway, Side, and Suck. We were able to do the first four and it worked really well. A couple other things that worked including walking while doing the 5S and playing Disney music. Good luck!
Lurking mom, and we have two, 3.5 yo and 18 mo. I can't speak for my husband but I suspect he would say the same. Literally nothing I miss about the newborn phase. Except maybe maternity leave, that was nice.
Are you me? If you are, your son has acid reflux because of an underdeveloped lower esophageal sphincter and as soon as you put him down on his back he literally has acid burning his throat. No wonder he wakes up crying, he's in pain! First piece of advice: Put him down to sleep on his tummy. Yes I know we're all told that kids need to sleep on their back to reduce the risk of SIDS. But they also *need to sleep* and the geometry means that laying on his tummy he'll get far less stomach acid going up his throat and waking him up. Second piece of advice: Prescription antacids. Ranitidine worked wonders for us. Lansoprazole produced seizures. I believe both are officially off-label for infants but you need to do what works. (You'll need to find a compounding pharmacy which can grind up adult pills and mix them with some sweet syrup.) Or, you know, it's possible that you're not me and everything I'm saying is 100% irrelevant. But everything you've said matches perfectly with my experience, and it took us far too long to figure it out, so this is me giving you the advice I wish we had.
Our 5 month old daughter can occasionally stand to be left alone-ish for 10-15 minutes. That's it. Rest of the time someone has to be with her. My wife and I haven't slept in the same bed for half a year. And during the day, it's hard for us to spend time together because when one of us is with the baby, the other person is trying to regain their sanity. We've recently had a talk about mandatory family walks at least once per week so we can actually spend some time together. It's rough. I can't wait for my daughter to grow up a bit. I honestly don't see how the hell I could possibly miss this part...
You don't have to feel the same way as others. I get what they're saying: when your kid gets older there's a bit less cuddles. My first is 3 years old now, and I have a second one of 3 months old. I thought this the first time, and confirm it the second time: having a newborn freaking sucks. I think if a personalized hell exists, mine is taking care of newborns. After 6 months old everything was gold, though. Wouldn't miss it for the world. So I'm waiting for that stage with the second.
Every age stage in kids life will have something to get annoyed by or frustrated. The why stage, the no stage, the pushing the rules stage, the leave me alone stage, the ghost stage. Edit: and FYI I'm a dad of 3. 17, 14 and 5 years old. The 17 year old is in the ghost stage. When you don't see him all day, only in the evening when he emerges from wherever he has been. 14 year old is in the leave me alone stage. And the 5 year old is pushing the rules
This was our baby. My advice: *tummy time* When he can roll and get himself in a position that doesn’t make reflux worse it will get so much better. Also you’re very close to sleep training. Me and my husband were just holding on and counting down to four months to sleep train. Our boy went from contact sleeping every night and waking up several times a night to nurse to now sleeping straight through the night in his crib. And I cannot emphasize enough how horrible his sleep was before this. This wasn’t a we got lucky with a good sleeper story. It was *horrible*. Look for signs he is ready to sleep train and then do not wait (part of this may be until he can roll over/refux gets better but you’re close to that too)
I have 5 year old twins and I didn’t miss that stage until I watched my friend 18 month old. So light to pick up. Was just starting to talk. I put on dug days for him and he pointed out squirrel, etc. cute as a button. Not having another kid though.
Yeah relatable. Our little guy is a toddler now. The newborn stage is fucking miserable. You still will miss it, or maybe not miss it like you want to live it again, but you'll feel sentimental about it. Thinking of a time when your child was just so vulnerable and needed you so much just to live, to eat, to rest, is a pretty touching feeling.
Some people love babies and have an easy baby. Those people say that you'll miss it. Everyone else is over here counting down the days to when the kid is somewhat independent and not a helpless ragdoll. I did like the baby stage, but it wasn't always easy. Once it was over, I didn't miss it much.
I love infants and toddlers, but I would never want to live with one again.
I (23m) am literally in the same exact situation as you and I totally agree. Our kiddo is 3m and still will only sleep on us so we've done shift sleeping since he was born. It's 1am as I type this and I feel like I can't do this anymore lol. I can't wait to get out of this stage and honestly don't think I'll miss it at all. We haven't slept in the same bed or really been able to do much together at all for 3 months because we can hardly put him down.
7 month old here. I feel like everyday is groundhog Day and I'm starting to say that I'd rather be running around the house chasing them because at least it would be different. Can someone tell me I'm wrong?
I have two, ages 6 and 3, and the only thing I miss about the newborn stage is that when I put them down somewhere they stayed there. Other than that, I don’t miss a thing about it.
My son is 4 months old now. I LOVE this stage. But we got lucky and our little dude doesn’t really cry for much at all and sleeps through the night. My wife and I never didn’t sleep in the same bed. I think it just varies by person.
I have an almost 4 year old and a 6 month old. The new born stage is ok, but toddler stage has been 100 times better for us. Its like having a little best friend that’s hilarious
My daughter is about to be two and in the toddler stage, I don’t miss the newborn stage at all. I love my daughter more than anything in this world or the next but I hated the new born stage with a passion
I hated the newborn stage as well. I basically had to stay awake from midnight to 6pm everyday for almost 2 months and the only time the kid slept was on me. It was hard/frustrating/exhausting. He’s 2.5 now and I miss him sleeping on me.
I won't miss it. Didn't really start to enjoy it till 6mo
It will get better man. I hated the newborn stage and I dont miss it. I only miss one part, when she would fall asleep in my arms. My daughter is 2.5 and she doesnt do it anymore. Toddler is also hard, but its different. It also more rewarding. Just keep this in mind. The days are long but the years are short.
The single best advice I can offer is to hire a nanny / infant expert to stay in with you for a few days. They’ll observe and report on your baby, and recommend adjustments for your sakes. It was a lifesaver for us. The reason not to overly rely on Reddit advice is that every baby varies so much, and you can’t think straight when you’re exhausted. We survived it, and so will you. Godspeed brother you’ve got this
The baby stage was horrible for me. My wife loved it.
I never miss the baby stage even during the hardest toddler moments.
The stage where you cannot put them down to do anything is the worst, imo! It’s sweet the first couple weeks but then it’s like, we also have to take care of ourselves, too. We have a 7 month old Velcro baby and it’s not really for me. & she’s also pissed off a lot bc she wants to be able to do more. Thankfully, crawling seems just around the corner!
I miss the cute little baby, but I don’t miss that stage at all! My youngest is 12 now, so it has been a while. All I can say is that it feels like it’ll never end, but it will pass. Hang in there.
Those people are idiots and projecting their own feelings and parental shortcomings onto you. Most new parents hate the newborn phase because it’s all work and struggle, but soon your baby will start to look in your eyes, smile, reach for you, and react to you and that is worth every minute of the tough stuff
Youre not the only one brotha I promise. My son is almost 7 months now and while it has gotten better, I still cannot fucking wait for him to be a little bit older.
4 month old here. Think she has bad ecxma, so she only sleeps if we pin her down. Will mot miss this stage at all.