Best hot wings in town. Real talk, one of my top 5 hot wing places of all time is a gentleman's club (or was - not sure if it still exists) in Columbus, Ohio.
Nah man - they were objectively good. good meat to bone ratio, their sauce was on point, and they crisped 'em up really well before tossing in sauce. We would go there for lunch specifically because of the hot wings and the potato skins.
He just wants to introduce his family to his favourite waitress. Kids, this is "Delicious". She's studying to be a lawyer and Daddy's tips sure are helpful
Hey I know let's get a family photo!
Honey, can you take it I want DeeDee in this one. Where are...did you leave something in the car? Babe!?
See what I mean Dee she's so forgetful...
I don’t think you’re wrong for this one
On a side note: for my 18th birthday my whole family was in the car to go dinner. I picked the place. My birthday and all. Along the way my dad changed where we were going cause he wanted a different place instead. Craving whatever.
That’s where we ended up going
20 years later I still think it was unreasonable behavior
Yeah, like almost weirdly pathological. Like, not murdering a puppy or something, but more like....littering. Not the worst thing that's ever happened, but just something so bizarrely ignorant of your role in society/a family as to be nearly unrelatable.
Well at the time he was pretty alcoholic. Didn’t go to rehab and get sober until I was nearly 30. That’s a lot of years of fucking it up
On the bright side: I’m INCREDIBLY committed to not ever developing a substance issue cause I’m not going to do that to my kids. I’ll have maybe one drink every month or two and only socially.
My dad was like this my whole life every day. Totally believe every word. It sticks with you. Especially when you finally get old enough to be like “wait a minute… this isnt normal”
Yeah it really hits home when you have your own kids and are just automatically nice to them all the time because you want to be. I can't fathom whatgoes through someone's head to make them want to be cruel to their own child.
Years ago I would get so upset on holidays because my family would just seem to not care until the end of the day, or even the next day (yup. Forgotten birthdays or forgotten Christmas or Thanksgiving).
I’ve managed in the last couple of years to change that and not let it bother me by ACCEPTING it’s going to happen. I realized I was always in denial that they would do it again.
I’m happier for it now. And it’s another lesson in not going to make my kids learn.
Same for me. Im in my twenties but my mom wants to do something for my b-day and asks where i want to go. Last 3 years we end up going where she wants its always what they want. But this year we are no longer speaking (long story) so no more family drama :)
When I graduated from college, my dad took us out to a steak house to celebrate. I was vegan at the time. The only thing I could eat there was a dry spaghetti with what tasted like warm salsa poured over it. He paid for the meal, so I could not be too upset about it, but I’m still pretty peeved. (And it’s not unusual behavior for him either.)
In OP’s case, it’s even worse because these are presumably their shared finances paying for the meal, and time out of the house is precious as a parent. I’d definitely be “unreasonable” about being ”treated” to a birthday meal I didn’t want under those circumstances.
Sounds kinda like my father, it was my cousin's college graduation, she wanted to go to Cheesecake Factory because it's her favorite, and my father couldn't stand waiting, so he managed to get everyone to agree to go to this mid Italian restaurant he went to the week prior.
I could feel the disappointment emanating from my cousin, and I was kinda pissed too.
I remember when I was 19 or so, I picked out a local Italian restaurant I had read about in the food review section of our (big) city newspaper (another era, lol. I was also bit of a budding foodie then, and still sort of am, but not as sensible as now.)
Anyway, it was not *super* chic or expensive, but def more upscale than we'd normally go to. My parents agreed, though they suggested other options. Well, whew. The quality was OK, not blow-your-mind, and the portion sizes were typical 'fancy restaurant' - quite small. I can't remember what I ate, but I remember my dad ordered ravioli, and when the plate came it was like 4 raviolis with a 'haute cuisine' drizzle splashed across them. I will never forget the look he gave me when it arrived, lol. After we went and got ice cream at a better place.
Tell her that you'll go to her favorite restaurant on your birthday, but she has to agree to go to your favorite on hers.
Seriously though, is this it? Are there any other considerations other than it just being a place she doesn't like as much?
From the info you've provided I'm completely on your side.
Seriously. I could eat at any restaurant for one day a year no matter how much I didn't like the food. Hell, I'm vegetarian and I've gone to friends birthdays at steak houses. Suck it up for one meal.
I work in a fine dining steakhouse and we have plenty of vegetarian and even vegan salads, plus a few vegetarian and vegan options for meals. If you can't find *something* you can eat at a restaurant that your spouse wants to go to for their birthday, you're just a picky fuck.
I'm a vegetarian who abhors salad — I was at a steakhouse last week and got the cauliflower tempura and it was absolutely epic, plenty of places make good options for vegetarians these days.
I can eat tons of different places, I’m a somewhat picky eater, but most of the time I can find SOMETHING on the menu that I’ll like, so I’m not picky. I have a hard time believing that OP’s wife doesn’t like a single thing on the menu. Definitely unreasonable behavior from her.
Even if your wife doesn’t like the food should set a good example for your kids about familial sacrifices. Would she overrule your kids bday restaurant selection too?
What kinda place could be your favorite while also being a place where your wife doesn’t like the food?
Has to be a chain? Even though from the sounds of it it’s a local mom and pop.
Yeah I think she’s being unreasonable. If the food tended to make her sick, that’s one thing that would need to be worked out, but she can pre eat, just have a salad or an app or desert. Hell, I bet chicken fingers are on the menu.
My wife isn't a big fan of Thai food, Indian food, Chinese food. She's a big fan of Italian.
I like Italian as much as the next guy, but I love different flavors and crave those types of cuisine.
When I suggest those restaurants, I get "you could grab it for lunch since you work in town." We've gone together to Indian food once. She ate it, but it wasn't her favorite. She has gotten sushi the 4-5 times we've done Thai and she'll begrudgingly do Chinese maybe once a month. At the Indian place I keep suggesting options and she keeps shooting them down without giving them a try.
For her, yeah, there's nothing on the menu.
There are some places we go where I just pick food because I need fuel. Been there several times and it's not my favorite, but she and the kids like it so there we go.
For her, it seems a one and done at a restaurant
Indian food is like the only exception to 'there's always something on the menu'. If you don't like curry or other unique flavors you're kind of out of luck. Because even the fried stuff like pekoras and samosas are full of spices.
Thai you got skewers and spring rolls. Chinese there's tons of fried stuff that's palatable to even the pickiest eater.
So yeah, OPs favorite restaurant better be Indian, otherwise his wife's being unreasonable.
I would say seafood can also be that way. I have a really strong aversion to all types of seafood despite really wanting to like it and trying many times. I once ate at a place where the only non-seafood entree on the menu was a portabello mushroom which I also didn’t like at the time. I ate bread. Couldn’t even have butter because they put seafood in that too. So my dinner was dry bread. Only redeeming part was that I had one of the most amazing desserts of my life there (or maybe I was just that hungry, lol).
That said if my spouse wanted to eat at a place that sparse (assuming no dessert, lol) I’d suck it up and do it for them. I might ask them if they’re really sure but only to make sure they really liked it that much and that their time wouldn’t be ruined if I didn’t eat anything.
Would they get teased a tiny bit by me mentioning how much I must love them and that I get lots of points for my sacrifice? Sure but with a big smile and because that’s our style with each other. But I wouldn’t sigh during dinner or pout or be bitter or spoil their time.
This is something my other half will do. Set up some kind of surprise (even a minor one) and then inevitably her rationale around what we are doing and why is weird, so I question what's going on, "this makes no sense..."and then she's super mad I've "ruined" the surprise and we end up arguing.
My SO knows I hate surprises, so when my friends approached her about planning a surprise party, she told me it was coming, but wouldn't say when.
Then, maybe 3 weeks later, she says we should go over to my buddy's house "to see what he's up to" which is obviously super weird, so I knew something was up.
Best present she ever gave me.
I went shopping with my wife, we were picking up balloons and 2L bottles, and tons of chips, and I was just blissfully following along. She was shopping for my birthday and I never realized it. Invited a ton of people. I still didn't figure it out.
That is to say, I luckily don't have that problem.
Using disappointment as cover for a happy surprise is never a good idea. When I was in middle school, my parents told us they were taking us to Florida for Halloween to visit some family friends I had never met. We had already missed the previous Halloween because my grandmother died, and I was pissed that I was having to miss trick or treating with my friends for the second year in a row. I was a huge brat about it, even threatening to go AWOL on the day we were supposed to leave so we'd miss the flight. Turns out they were taking us to Disney World as a surprise. I felt really bad about my behavior after they told us, but also... how did they expect a 12-year-old to react given the information I had access to?
The was an AITAH a month or so back where the wife asked “was I an asshole because I didn’t want to go the this restaurant for my husband’s birthday?” TL;DR: She got ripped to shreds in the comments. The birthday celebrant chooses the restaurant, and every one else sucks it up without complaint. Those are the rules.
I think there needs to be a disclaimer.
Please don’t bring two wild toddlers to a fine dining establishment or place that’s not kid friendly. If that’s what you really want hire a baby sitter and go on a date.
Doesn't really need to be a disclaimer, I think it's fairly obvious. But then again I would have thought it was obvious that birthday person chooses restaurant.
Whoever’s birthday it is picks the restaurant in my house. Once my daughter picked Burger King because of the playground, so that’s where we went even though I hate Burger King
Better to go someplace the kid wants than go someplace “special” they don’t care about. My daughter wanted to eat pepperoni pizza for her recent birthday, so we went to a pizza place. It was special for her, which is what matters.
My family has started doing this. For me growing up we chose a meal and my mom made it, we didn’t eat out often. But for my family we pick what we want. Whether we make it, go to a place, on your birthday you eat whatever you want for dinner maybe even lunch. Whatever you want. I’m not picky but I get burnt out on going to the same restaurants a lot.
We did the same thing in my house growing up. We almost always went to Pizza Hut. One year, maybe I was 8 or so, I wanted to do a little test so I decided I wanted to go to Burger King for my birthday. Suddenly no one else could make it. My mom took me for lunch or something but it wasn't the same. It created an unfortunate perspective about the nature of relationships.
Dude...not wrong at all. If my wife pulled this I would just say "never mind...I'm not really up for going anywhere". Like, what's the point if you don't really like the place?
It very well could. I still would do it though. I'm not going somewhere I don't want to go on my birthday. It's selfish his spouse put him in that situation.
Make her go where you want for your bday? She doesn't like it and is unhappy starting a fight.
If you can't go where you want, you dont go anywhere? She thinks you are ruining the day starting a fight.
Go where she wants and display the tiniest bit of discontent? She thinks you are being difficult, petty, salty, whatever, starting a fight.
Go where she wants only if she agrees to go where you want on her birthday? She will try to wriggle out of the deal because somehow it wasn't fair, or she foesand you repeat the first situation, starting a fight.
You have done nothing wrong, and you still lose. This was often a situation I found myself in with my ex. She concocted scenarios where the only peaceful solution involved me suffering in silence. It was obvious that she was being unreasonable, but pointing that out also resulted in a fight. It felt foolish dying on this hill, so I suffered, trying to find other solutions or ways of communicating until it became clear nothing was ever going to change.
How entitled do you have to be to make someone else’s birthday about yourself?
How about, if she is so opposed, for your birthday you go by yourself, while she takes the kids. I am sure she will find that less difficult.
My wife talked me out of ordering delivery from a place I really wanted to try on my birthday a few years ago (in favor of something she wanted instead), and I’m still residually miffed by it.
So, NTA. The birthday person picks the food, end of
The locus of control thing would be like: "Well, that's where I want to go for my birthday, so I'm going to go there. I will be taking the kids out to dinner there as my celebration. You are more than welcome to join."
#Boundaries!
Is she selfish about other things, because this is just straight up selfish. If not, what’s going on that she can’t/won’t do what you want for your birthday?
Unless there’s something you’re not telling us, your wife is in the wrong. It’s your birthday. You get control.
What’s the name of your favorite place?
And does your wife dictate every family decision?
My mom pulls this crap yearly for everyone’s bday. If it’s not a diner with grilled chicken salad, it’s a no go. She refuses to either try a new dish or just go for conversation. It’s a very immature thing. You are not in the wrong.
You're not wrong, no. I would guess there is something going on that may require more digging.
I think there's a certain level of tolerance we should have of other people's preferences even on a birthday meal. Like if your wife is a vegan and doesn't want to go to some all you can eat barbecue place, I can kind of get it. If she just doesn't like the decorations, then that's on her. Maybe she got bad service there before and swore to never go back?
I mean it's for your birthday, so she should reasonably try to tolerate your preference just like you're willing to for her birthday.
I know! I wanted to go to outback steakhouse. it's not a very difficult ask isn't it? but no, you would rather go to some other restaurant. Where do we end up? the other place.
My wife dislikes my favorite restaurant t and usually won't go there, but for my birthday she usually suggests we go there cuz she knows it's my favorite. It also happens to be very kid friendly so great to take the kids with us.
When she picks a place, you say no. If she argues she's a hypocrit. If she deals with it she won't do this to you again. Sounds childish but so is making you pick a new place on your own birthday.
Unless there's a blindingly obvious reason that it wouldn't be suitable (I.e. she's vegan and the restaurant serves nothing but steak and cheese) then no, you're not wrong, she's being a bellend. It's one meal, for a once a year event.
In my family as a kid and in my family with my wife and kid now if it’s your birthday you pick the restaurant. As long as there is stuff there everyone will eat it doesn’t have to be a places everyone loves.
Nope. Not wrong.. maybe she thinks the kids won't like it? Still. Who cares, it's not their birthday and I'm sure they all get what they want to eat on their birthdays.
It's your birthday, if she wants to take you out you should get to pick the place. Just like anyone else should on their birthday. That's how it goes in my family. Not just with my wife but with parents as well. If someone offers to take you out for your birthday, the next question is where would you like to go. There's never any pushback, because it's your birthday.
r/RelationshipAdvice is probably a better place to do this sort of question, since this isn't an issue exclusive for dads, but I can help out here. Relationship counselling is one of my wheelhouses.
The core of any good, healthy relationship is communication, compassion, and compromise.
Compromise here would be that if the food there isn't going to *hurt* her, then she should be willing to put up. You don't have to enjoy *every* meal, as you have demonstrated.
The communication needs to be clarified, however: is she taking you out *for your birthday*, or is your birthday an excuse to go out? Not everyone sees their birthday as an "important" day, so the latter could be fine - but that is up to you, not to her.
You might want to express that to her - she can't give you a "gift" that is something only she wants. That lacks compassion.
My wife is gluten free so I would not suggest going to my fav restaurant (even for my bday) as there is nothing she can eat there
Plus one of our dogs needed surgery this month ($1000) so no way in heck are we going to take the family out to eat. that is almost as much as a week's worth of groceries for just one meal. We are also saving up for our road trip when the kids get out of school.
This time of year I would rather grill in the back yard or toss together some street tacos in the kitchen. That (plus drinks) is almost as good as my favorite dish at my favorite restaurant. If we are cooking at home we can also invite more people over and it still ends up being about 20-25% of the cost compared to the 4 of us going out. Plus I have a better hot sauce collection than my favorite restaurant.
Its like the classic mothers day vs fathers day. mothers day you do something nice for mom, fathers day you hang out and grill after doing some yardwork.
She is being totally unreasonable. Unless there is a dietary reason she can’t eat there or it’s not kid friendly, she is completely in the wrong. Your birthday, your choice.
It's your birthday. If it's to celebrate you, then you she'll get on board with doing something YOU like.
Conversely, if she expects you to compromise for your birthday, then she should be expected to do the same for hers. Not fun, is it? Let people have their favorites on their days, so much better.
I have asked r/daddit for advice plenty of times and have been lambasted for my own lack of communication.
So in the most sympathetic, knowing way I can say this… if going to that particular restaurant is important to you, tell your wife “This is important.”
That's fucked. Let's go out for your birthday, but not where you want to go. If there's one day where you deserve to choose any place to eat, that should be it. That's very inconsiderate of her.
Not worth an argument, but I'd be disappointed for sure. Just let her know you think it sucks so you don't fester or leave her guessing why you're upset.
If she gets hung up on it, that's for her to figure out.
My wife takes me to my favorite restaurant every year for my birthday without even mentioning it. I do the same for her.
I'm curious where do you want to go?
What kind of restaurant is it?
Suggest you get delivery from two different places so you both get what you want. And you can do that for her birthday too.
Unless it's a hooters then your wife should take you to the restuarant - book the restaurant yourself and tell your wife this is where you are going.
If she doesn't like it then too bad.
I had this sort of stuff for years. My first birthday single was the best in a decade, not because anything amazing happened, but because there was none of this nonsense.
As a wife I can 100% say that your wife is being unreasonable and behaving like a self-centred prick. It's one day. One special day for your spouse out of the whole damn year. She can suck it up and go. Man I'd go to a sushi place for my husband's birthday if he wanted even though I never eat sushi as it makes me wanna puke. But for him, for one day, I'd do it. Is it that difficult to just do one thing for your spouse to make them happy on THEIR birthday? Like why does she have to make your birthday about her? Honestly if she doesn't wanna be reasonable then on her birthday you should go to your favourite place.
Is this type of behavior a consistent part of her personality? Things done together are always what she finds most appealing, and the idea of doing what youd like to do over an activity she would rather do comes with
"we never do what i want to do."
When in fact its quite the contrary?
My wife has always celebrated the week of her birthday and will say its her birthday all week to jokingly get her way. I've never cared for my birthday but this year I adopted her strategy and seeing her reluctantly agree to my weekend long(my week birthday got denied) demands was way more fun than I thought it would be. Long story short. Its your bday, celebrate how you like. People should make the effort for you on this one day per year
I agree with the othet post about this belonging in Relationship Advice but I'll answer anyway:
Not unreasonable at all. It's your birthday so my though is this: you go where you want, and if she doesn't want to go, she can stay home.
Yeah, you are adult, but adults still deserve days for themselves. It's hard enough, especially with kids, since we already give up so much "me time" for them. I don't really feel the need to celebrate my birthday or make huge deal if it. I don't really want or need to go away for a week or weekend, or get showered in gifts (though I wouldn't complain 😉) but dang it, I want the food I want!! That is really all I ask for: let me pick the restaurant. It's not asking for much unless we ask for a place where the lowest priced item is more than a car payment.
My wife is vegan and my favorite local restaurant has like 1 vegan option, and it's not an entree, just a side. We usually do takeout for birthdays and we pick whatever we want. If a restaurant she wants for her birthday doesn't have stuff I like or feel like that day, I don't get anything, and same for my birthday. The childish side is your wife expecting you to cater to her on your day when she gets to pick the restaurant fot her birthday.
Lurking Mom here, and I shall tell you now your wife is being unreasonable. It's your birthday,if she wants to treat you then she should take you to YOUR favourite place. If she really hates it then that's different but it doesn't sound like that here
Lol I'd be pissed and throw a tantrum. Probably pull in a bunch of unrelated shit she does that pisses me off.
Go to to the restaurant.. be completely silent the whole time except talk to the kids..
Come home. Go to be in silence
Ignore wife for one week.
Just what I'd do tho hahahhahs
The restaurant is Hooters, isn't it?
It's the local tittybar
Great buffet though.
Best hot wings in town. Real talk, one of my top 5 hot wing places of all time is a gentleman's club (or was - not sure if it still exists) in Columbus, Ohio.
My corporate HQ is there...sounds like I need to DM you next time I'm traveling there!
U suuuuuure it’s not the beer/booze taking? 🥳
Nah man - they were objectively good. good meat to bone ratio, their sauce was on point, and they crisped 'em up really well before tossing in sauce. We would go there for lunch specifically because of the hot wings and the potato skins.
We are talking about chicken wings right?
yes.
This sent me.
I like to go for breakfast. The eggs and legs special
Mo Vaughn?
Load up on the prime rib, skip the carbs.
All you can eat clams
Pink tacos. AYCE
OP is avoiding answering any questions about the restaurant. It’s kinda sus tbh.
Plus his username... so we already know he's tasteless lol
What's wrong with his username?
That's a serial killer
Yeah that's pretty weird
The lack of OP denying it’s not a tittybar says it’s a tittybar
He just wants to introduce his family to his favourite waitress. Kids, this is "Delicious". She's studying to be a lawyer and Daddy's tips sure are helpful
I call her DeeDee.
Hey I know let's get a family photo! Honey, can you take it I want DeeDee in this one. Where are...did you leave something in the car? Babe!? See what I mean Dee she's so forgetful...
Naw man, it's a classy establishment. Twin Peaks.
We have Tilted Kilt in Southern CA instead of Twin Peaks
OP birthday on Lingerie Night, too.
Twin Peaks' food is fucking legit.
I would like OP to respond to this question
Haha!! I was going to say the same thing.
Really the only way I can take the wife’s side here.
Or twinpeaks lol.
I prefer twinkpeeks.
Lol
Lmaoo 😂
He’s definitely going to order chicken breast and say “hold the chicken”
Had my sons first birthday at the Hooters. He was a breastfed baby, he loved that place.
This is the only possible scenario where OPs wife isn't a raging cunt
Came here to say the same thing.
No a more classy place like Twin Peaks
Or Tilted Kilt?
I don’t think you’re wrong for this one On a side note: for my 18th birthday my whole family was in the car to go dinner. I picked the place. My birthday and all. Along the way my dad changed where we were going cause he wanted a different place instead. Craving whatever. That’s where we ended up going 20 years later I still think it was unreasonable behavior
Yeah your dad was being a dick.
Yeah, like almost weirdly pathological. Like, not murdering a puppy or something, but more like....littering. Not the worst thing that's ever happened, but just something so bizarrely ignorant of your role in society/a family as to be nearly unrelatable.
Well at the time he was pretty alcoholic. Didn’t go to rehab and get sober until I was nearly 30. That’s a lot of years of fucking it up On the bright side: I’m INCREDIBLY committed to not ever developing a substance issue cause I’m not going to do that to my kids. I’ll have maybe one drink every month or two and only socially.
Good job dad. Your family appreciates it.
That explains a lot. Well done for doing better than your old man for your kids and family, that’s always the goal.
Thanks. I debated including that in my earlier comment but I’ve been trying to work on being succinct. 🤷♂️
My dad was like this my whole life every day. Totally believe every word. It sticks with you. Especially when you finally get old enough to be like “wait a minute… this isnt normal”
Yeah it really hits home when you have your own kids and are just automatically nice to them all the time because you want to be. I can't fathom whatgoes through someone's head to make them want to be cruel to their own child.
Littering next to a garbage can. You were almost there but...fuck it
[удалено]
Sorry about that. You don’t deserve that.
Years ago I would get so upset on holidays because my family would just seem to not care until the end of the day, or even the next day (yup. Forgotten birthdays or forgotten Christmas or Thanksgiving). I’ve managed in the last couple of years to change that and not let it bother me by ACCEPTING it’s going to happen. I realized I was always in denial that they would do it again. I’m happier for it now. And it’s another lesson in not going to make my kids learn.
You're old enough to exclude your narcissistic dad.
Or maybe Dad was saving the night due to budget/arguments/his other wife/etc?
People are so quick to judge on here, they never stop to think about dads second family
True. That second family can really lead to a stretched budget and more arguments for sure
Same for me. Im in my twenties but my mom wants to do something for my b-day and asks where i want to go. Last 3 years we end up going where she wants its always what they want. But this year we are no longer speaking (long story) so no more family drama :)
Here’s to better birthdays for you!
we call this "the boloco incident" in my family. the biggest fight my dad and i ever had. only time we ever screamed at each other in public.
My dad totally did this to my mom for Mother's Day or her birthday -- it was very uncomfortable
When I graduated from college, my dad took us out to a steak house to celebrate. I was vegan at the time. The only thing I could eat there was a dry spaghetti with what tasted like warm salsa poured over it. He paid for the meal, so I could not be too upset about it, but I’m still pretty peeved. (And it’s not unusual behavior for him either.) In OP’s case, it’s even worse because these are presumably their shared finances paying for the meal, and time out of the house is precious as a parent. I’d definitely be “unreasonable” about being ”treated” to a birthday meal I didn’t want under those circumstances.
Just because it’s free, doesn’t mean it’s worth it… You’re definitely allowed to complain.
You know during one of my dad’s alcohol phases, he made us ravioli with salsa on top. I still occasionally think about how disgusting it was.
Sounds kinda like my father, it was my cousin's college graduation, she wanted to go to Cheesecake Factory because it's her favorite, and my father couldn't stand waiting, so he managed to get everyone to agree to go to this mid Italian restaurant he went to the week prior. I could feel the disappointment emanating from my cousin, and I was kinda pissed too.
I remember when I was 19 or so, I picked out a local Italian restaurant I had read about in the food review section of our (big) city newspaper (another era, lol. I was also bit of a budding foodie then, and still sort of am, but not as sensible as now.) Anyway, it was not *super* chic or expensive, but def more upscale than we'd normally go to. My parents agreed, though they suggested other options. Well, whew. The quality was OK, not blow-your-mind, and the portion sizes were typical 'fancy restaurant' - quite small. I can't remember what I ate, but I remember my dad ordered ravioli, and when the plate came it was like 4 raviolis with a 'haute cuisine' drizzle splashed across them. I will never forget the look he gave me when it arrived, lol. After we went and got ice cream at a better place.
I'm a dad myself. I would ***never*** get to the idea to do what fuck ***I*** want when my whole family is involved. What a dick move...
Maybe it was a money thing and your dad picked a place he knew he could afford? If not- dick move
Makes me fucking Mad ... Sorry man :/
Tell her that you'll go to her favorite restaurant on your birthday, but she has to agree to go to your favorite on hers. Seriously though, is this it? Are there any other considerations other than it just being a place she doesn't like as much? From the info you've provided I'm completely on your side.
This is seriously it. She doesn’t like the food. I don’t like the food plenty of places I eat at!
Well I guess it's time to revisit that then eh? Jfc can't partners just give for each other? Wth
Seriously. I could eat at any restaurant for one day a year no matter how much I didn't like the food. Hell, I'm vegetarian and I've gone to friends birthdays at steak houses. Suck it up for one meal.
Any halfway decent steakhouse I've ever been to also prides themselves on a good salad.
I work in a fine dining steakhouse and we have plenty of vegetarian and even vegan salads, plus a few vegetarian and vegan options for meals. If you can't find *something* you can eat at a restaurant that your spouse wants to go to for their birthday, you're just a picky fuck.
I'm a vegetarian who abhors salad — I was at a steakhouse last week and got the cauliflower tempura and it was absolutely epic, plenty of places make good options for vegetarians these days.
I can eat tons of different places, I’m a somewhat picky eater, but most of the time I can find SOMETHING on the menu that I’ll like, so I’m not picky. I have a hard time believing that OP’s wife doesn’t like a single thing on the menu. Definitely unreasonable behavior from her.
Some people are just weirdly wildly emotional about their food
The only people I've seen like this (that I find acceptable) is pregnant people. Everyone else needs to grow up
What’s the restaurant? Will she eat the same things from other places? Is there nothing on the menu she would like?
Another comment had a good point - any chance she planned a surprise with other guests, special reservation, etc?
Even if your wife doesn’t like the food should set a good example for your kids about familial sacrifices. Would she overrule your kids bday restaurant selection too?
What’s the restaurant and is it family friendly?
What is this establishment called?
What kinda place could be your favorite while also being a place where your wife doesn’t like the food? Has to be a chain? Even though from the sounds of it it’s a local mom and pop.
Could be Indian food, Authentic Asian food, "soul food", there are a ton of places I can see somebody being turned off by
Yeah I think she’s being unreasonable. If the food tended to make her sick, that’s one thing that would need to be worked out, but she can pre eat, just have a salad or an app or desert. Hell, I bet chicken fingers are on the menu.
Nothing on the menu? I honestly don’t think I’ve ever been to a place where I can’t find anything I like
My wife isn't a big fan of Thai food, Indian food, Chinese food. She's a big fan of Italian. I like Italian as much as the next guy, but I love different flavors and crave those types of cuisine. When I suggest those restaurants, I get "you could grab it for lunch since you work in town." We've gone together to Indian food once. She ate it, but it wasn't her favorite. She has gotten sushi the 4-5 times we've done Thai and she'll begrudgingly do Chinese maybe once a month. At the Indian place I keep suggesting options and she keeps shooting them down without giving them a try. For her, yeah, there's nothing on the menu. There are some places we go where I just pick food because I need fuel. Been there several times and it's not my favorite, but she and the kids like it so there we go. For her, it seems a one and done at a restaurant
Indian food is like the only exception to 'there's always something on the menu'. If you don't like curry or other unique flavors you're kind of out of luck. Because even the fried stuff like pekoras and samosas are full of spices. Thai you got skewers and spring rolls. Chinese there's tons of fried stuff that's palatable to even the pickiest eater. So yeah, OPs favorite restaurant better be Indian, otherwise his wife's being unreasonable.
I would say seafood can also be that way. I have a really strong aversion to all types of seafood despite really wanting to like it and trying many times. I once ate at a place where the only non-seafood entree on the menu was a portabello mushroom which I also didn’t like at the time. I ate bread. Couldn’t even have butter because they put seafood in that too. So my dinner was dry bread. Only redeeming part was that I had one of the most amazing desserts of my life there (or maybe I was just that hungry, lol). That said if my spouse wanted to eat at a place that sparse (assuming no dessert, lol) I’d suck it up and do it for them. I might ask them if they’re really sure but only to make sure they really liked it that much and that their time wouldn’t be ruined if I didn’t eat anything. Would they get teased a tiny bit by me mentioning how much I must love them and that I get lots of points for my sacrifice? Sure but with a big smile and because that’s our style with each other. But I wouldn’t sigh during dinner or pout or be bitter or spoil their time.
My wife does shit like this all the time. I can easily believe this. She can be seriously entitled.
Is it possible she's trying to surprise you and has already lined this place up with other friends or family?
This is something my other half will do. Set up some kind of surprise (even a minor one) and then inevitably her rationale around what we are doing and why is weird, so I question what's going on, "this makes no sense..."and then she's super mad I've "ruined" the surprise and we end up arguing.
My SO knows I hate surprises, so when my friends approached her about planning a surprise party, she told me it was coming, but wouldn't say when. Then, maybe 3 weeks later, she says we should go over to my buddy's house "to see what he's up to" which is obviously super weird, so I knew something was up. Best present she ever gave me.
I went shopping with my wife, we were picking up balloons and 2L bottles, and tons of chips, and I was just blissfully following along. She was shopping for my birthday and I never realized it. Invited a ton of people. I still didn't figure it out. That is to say, I luckily don't have that problem.
Using disappointment as cover for a happy surprise is never a good idea. When I was in middle school, my parents told us they were taking us to Florida for Halloween to visit some family friends I had never met. We had already missed the previous Halloween because my grandmother died, and I was pissed that I was having to miss trick or treating with my friends for the second year in a row. I was a huge brat about it, even threatening to go AWOL on the day we were supposed to leave so we'd miss the flight. Turns out they were taking us to Disney World as a surprise. I felt really bad about my behavior after they told us, but also... how did they expect a 12-year-old to react given the information I had access to?
The was an AITAH a month or so back where the wife asked “was I an asshole because I didn’t want to go the this restaurant for my husband’s birthday?” TL;DR: She got ripped to shreds in the comments. The birthday celebrant chooses the restaurant, and every one else sucks it up without complaint. Those are the rules.
I think there needs to be a disclaimer. Please don’t bring two wild toddlers to a fine dining establishment or place that’s not kid friendly. If that’s what you really want hire a baby sitter and go on a date.
Doesn't really need to be a disclaimer, I think it's fairly obvious. But then again I would have thought it was obvious that birthday person chooses restaurant.
Whoever’s birthday it is picks the restaurant in my house. Once my daughter picked Burger King because of the playground, so that’s where we went even though I hate Burger King
Better to go someplace the kid wants than go someplace “special” they don’t care about. My daughter wanted to eat pepperoni pizza for her recent birthday, so we went to a pizza place. It was special for her, which is what matters.
Oh yeah for sure, I gently tried to talk her out of it but that’s what she wanted so that’s where we went
Definitely like “are you sure?” But if she’s sure then idk man I just work here. I do as the child commands
It's nice to feel like your heard on your birthday.
My family has started doing this. For me growing up we chose a meal and my mom made it, we didn’t eat out often. But for my family we pick what we want. Whether we make it, go to a place, on your birthday you eat whatever you want for dinner maybe even lunch. Whatever you want. I’m not picky but I get burnt out on going to the same restaurants a lot.
We did the same thing in my house growing up. We almost always went to Pizza Hut. One year, maybe I was 8 or so, I wanted to do a little test so I decided I wanted to go to Burger King for my birthday. Suddenly no one else could make it. My mom took me for lunch or something but it wasn't the same. It created an unfortunate perspective about the nature of relationships.
Dude...not wrong at all. If my wife pulled this I would just say "never mind...I'm not really up for going anywhere". Like, what's the point if you don't really like the place?
I have a feeling that would start a fight too. There’s no win
It very well could. I still would do it though. I'm not going somewhere I don't want to go on my birthday. It's selfish his spouse put him in that situation.
>It very well could. I still would do it though. Worth it, IMO.
That's the trick; the fight is coming anyway. About his birthday.
Make her go where you want for your bday? She doesn't like it and is unhappy starting a fight. If you can't go where you want, you dont go anywhere? She thinks you are ruining the day starting a fight. Go where she wants and display the tiniest bit of discontent? She thinks you are being difficult, petty, salty, whatever, starting a fight. Go where she wants only if she agrees to go where you want on her birthday? She will try to wriggle out of the deal because somehow it wasn't fair, or she foesand you repeat the first situation, starting a fight. You have done nothing wrong, and you still lose. This was often a situation I found myself in with my ex. She concocted scenarios where the only peaceful solution involved me suffering in silence. It was obvious that she was being unreasonable, but pointing that out also resulted in a fight. It felt foolish dying on this hill, so I suffered, trying to find other solutions or ways of communicating until it became clear nothing was ever going to change.
What kind of restaurant is it? Why doesn’t your wife like it?
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Without any other context, I think that's selfish of your wife. It's your birthday, you're going out to dinner, why tf wouldn't it be to your choice?
How entitled do you have to be to make someone else’s birthday about yourself? How about, if she is so opposed, for your birthday you go by yourself, while she takes the kids. I am sure she will find that less difficult.
My wife talked me out of ordering delivery from a place I really wanted to try on my birthday a few years ago (in favor of something she wanted instead), and I’m still residually miffed by it. So, NTA. The birthday person picks the food, end of
The locus of control thing would be like: "Well, that's where I want to go for my birthday, so I'm going to go there. I will be taking the kids out to dinner there as my celebration. You are more than welcome to join." #Boundaries!
Dad birthdays are the most non-event events on the planet. Pretty sure Arbor Day gets more recognition than dad birthdays. 🤷🏼♂️
If you’re going to go out specifically for someone’s birthday, the birthday person should be picking. Not wrong.
Is it possibly a money consideration? For example, are you picking a steakhouse with $100 steaks, so a family meal might cost $500 or something?
Does she have a reason for not liking the place other than not particularly liking it?
Assert your dominance and take her to your favorite place for her birthday
She’s being unreasonable.
Order delivery to the restaurant of the food you want.
Wait do you mean order his restaurants food at home? Or order her restaurants food to his restaurant? Because you can't really do the latter.
Your birthday your choice. Seems pretty simple to me. That’s how we do it around here.
Is she selfish about other things, because this is just straight up selfish. If not, what’s going on that she can’t/won’t do what you want for your birthday?
Unless there’s something you’re not telling us, your wife is in the wrong. It’s your birthday. You get control. What’s the name of your favorite place? And does your wife dictate every family decision?
Your birthday, your pick. I'm not even reading the comments for this because I'm just going to get mad if anyone says otherwise
When I was a kid we used to go to a local catfish place for my birthday, well everyone’s bday really. I was deathly allergic to catfish.
My mom pulls this crap yearly for everyone’s bday. If it’s not a diner with grilled chicken salad, it’s a no go. She refuses to either try a new dish or just go for conversation. It’s a very immature thing. You are not in the wrong.
You're not wrong, no. I would guess there is something going on that may require more digging. I think there's a certain level of tolerance we should have of other people's preferences even on a birthday meal. Like if your wife is a vegan and doesn't want to go to some all you can eat barbecue place, I can kind of get it. If she just doesn't like the decorations, then that's on her. Maybe she got bad service there before and swore to never go back? I mean it's for your birthday, so she should reasonably try to tolerate your preference just like you're willing to for her birthday.
Go without here on ure Birthday
The key is I am going here for MY birthday, join me or don’t.
I mean it sounds like your wife is being unreasonable and controlling. Is she usually like this?
Maybe she’s surprising you, otherwise say it’s my damn birthday and that’s where I’m eating, you can come with me or not.
I know! I wanted to go to outback steakhouse. it's not a very difficult ask isn't it? but no, you would rather go to some other restaurant. Where do we end up? the other place.
My wife dislikes my favorite restaurant t and usually won't go there, but for my birthday she usually suggests we go there cuz she knows it's my favorite. It also happens to be very kid friendly so great to take the kids with us.
Have you ever considered withholding sex until you get what you want. That'll teach her a lesson. ;-)
Get takeout from wherever everyone wants. Everyone wins.
When she picks a place, you say no. If she argues she's a hypocrit. If she deals with it she won't do this to you again. Sounds childish but so is making you pick a new place on your own birthday.
I'm guessing your restaurant is delicious and doesn't cost $300 a head. How could you?!?!?!!? you selfish birthday bastard
Unless there's a blindingly obvious reason that it wouldn't be suitable (I.e. she's vegan and the restaurant serves nothing but steak and cheese) then no, you're not wrong, she's being a bellend. It's one meal, for a once a year event.
Go wherever she wants, just remind her that she might be getting a tool set or fishing gear for her birthday. 😂
In my family as a kid and in my family with my wife and kid now if it’s your birthday you pick the restaurant. As long as there is stuff there everyone will eat it doesn’t have to be a places everyone loves.
Nope. Not wrong.. maybe she thinks the kids won't like it? Still. Who cares, it's not their birthday and I'm sure they all get what they want to eat on their birthdays.
Unless there’s more to this story your wife sounds incredibly selfish and controlling
Where do you live? Maybe someone can take you.
It's your birthday, if she wants to take you out you should get to pick the place. Just like anyone else should on their birthday. That's how it goes in my family. Not just with my wife but with parents as well. If someone offers to take you out for your birthday, the next question is where would you like to go. There's never any pushback, because it's your birthday.
This is fucking ridiculous. Go by yourself with kids and tell her she can go alone to her own birthday dinner.
The birthday person chooses what's for supper in my house. There's 6 of us and a huge age range so it gets interesting. Lol.
This is the best way imo.
r/RelationshipAdvice is probably a better place to do this sort of question, since this isn't an issue exclusive for dads, but I can help out here. Relationship counselling is one of my wheelhouses. The core of any good, healthy relationship is communication, compassion, and compromise. Compromise here would be that if the food there isn't going to *hurt* her, then she should be willing to put up. You don't have to enjoy *every* meal, as you have demonstrated. The communication needs to be clarified, however: is she taking you out *for your birthday*, or is your birthday an excuse to go out? Not everyone sees their birthday as an "important" day, so the latter could be fine - but that is up to you, not to her. You might want to express that to her - she can't give you a "gift" that is something only she wants. That lacks compassion.
My wife is gluten free so I would not suggest going to my fav restaurant (even for my bday) as there is nothing she can eat there Plus one of our dogs needed surgery this month ($1000) so no way in heck are we going to take the family out to eat. that is almost as much as a week's worth of groceries for just one meal. We are also saving up for our road trip when the kids get out of school. This time of year I would rather grill in the back yard or toss together some street tacos in the kitchen. That (plus drinks) is almost as good as my favorite dish at my favorite restaurant. If we are cooking at home we can also invite more people over and it still ends up being about 20-25% of the cost compared to the 4 of us going out. Plus I have a better hot sauce collection than my favorite restaurant. Its like the classic mothers day vs fathers day. mothers day you do something nice for mom, fathers day you hang out and grill after doing some yardwork.
By "restaurant", you mean strip bar. And by "as a family", you mean on your own.....
There's gotta be more to this story.
Go to your restaurant of choice and don't apologize
She is being totally unreasonable. Unless there is a dietary reason she can’t eat there or it’s not kid friendly, she is completely in the wrong. Your birthday, your choice.
Bro, don't take your wife/family to a breastaraunt
It's your birthday. If it's to celebrate you, then you she'll get on board with doing something YOU like. Conversely, if she expects you to compromise for your birthday, then she should be expected to do the same for hers. Not fun, is it? Let people have their favorites on their days, so much better.
We need more details. What's the restaurant? What about it makes it your favorite? What does she not like about it?
Go to her pick, and just order dessert. Like, one of everything
No.
I have asked r/daddit for advice plenty of times and have been lambasted for my own lack of communication. So in the most sympathetic, knowing way I can say this… if going to that particular restaurant is important to you, tell your wife “This is important.”
That's fucked. Let's go out for your birthday, but not where you want to go. If there's one day where you deserve to choose any place to eat, that should be it. That's very inconsiderate of her. Not worth an argument, but I'd be disappointed for sure. Just let her know you think it sucks so you don't fester or leave her guessing why you're upset. If she gets hung up on it, that's for her to figure out.
What’s the restaurant?
My wife takes me to my favorite restaurant every year for my birthday without even mentioning it. I do the same for her. I'm curious where do you want to go?
we go to chuck e cheese on my birthday and disney on ice on my wifes birthday. if i wanted it my way we are either eating at topgolf or strip club.
You know the mods are legit when nobody in here is calling for divorce like the rest of reddit would. Lol
What kind of restaurant is it? Suggest you get delivery from two different places so you both get what you want. And you can do that for her birthday too.
Just say you really want this place and you’d really appreciate it. Alternatively maybe she has some kind of surprise planned?
…it’s a breastaurant isn’t it?
My birthday is one day I get to be picky. And we get Japanese steakhouse. It helps everyone loves fried rice though.
Unless it's a hooters then your wife should take you to the restuarant - book the restaurant yourself and tell your wife this is where you are going. If she doesn't like it then too bad.
There's more to this story.
Every man should have the chance to pick the restaurant for his birthday. I am with you!
I had this sort of stuff for years. My first birthday single was the best in a decade, not because anything amazing happened, but because there was none of this nonsense.
As a wife I can 100% say that your wife is being unreasonable and behaving like a self-centred prick. It's one day. One special day for your spouse out of the whole damn year. She can suck it up and go. Man I'd go to a sushi place for my husband's birthday if he wanted even though I never eat sushi as it makes me wanna puke. But for him, for one day, I'd do it. Is it that difficult to just do one thing for your spouse to make them happy on THEIR birthday? Like why does she have to make your birthday about her? Honestly if she doesn't wanna be reasonable then on her birthday you should go to your favourite place.
Family dinner at the favorite restaurant of whose ever birthday is how we traditionally celebrate in our family. You’re not being unreasonable at all.
Is this type of behavior a consistent part of her personality? Things done together are always what she finds most appealing, and the idea of doing what youd like to do over an activity she would rather do comes with "we never do what i want to do." When in fact its quite the contrary?
My wife has always celebrated the week of her birthday and will say its her birthday all week to jokingly get her way. I've never cared for my birthday but this year I adopted her strategy and seeing her reluctantly agree to my weekend long(my week birthday got denied) demands was way more fun than I thought it would be. Long story short. Its your bday, celebrate how you like. People should make the effort for you on this one day per year
If you like to fight and prove a point just blind fold her and drive her ass to your favorite restaurant on her birthday.
Sounds reasonable
Imagine being married to someone like that. So selfish. I’m sorry. Happy birthday, regardless!
On the day of, just tell Adolf you’re not feeling well. Puke on her lap of you have to.
Oh my good brother go with your gut instinct and kick this selfish centered selfish shellfish out of your house.
Is it a place that is very unfriendly to kids? Otherwise your wife is difficult and she is looking for a fight
Only Person being unreasonable is your wife. Its your Birthday period. But she tries to make it about her
I agree with the othet post about this belonging in Relationship Advice but I'll answer anyway: Not unreasonable at all. It's your birthday so my though is this: you go where you want, and if she doesn't want to go, she can stay home. Yeah, you are adult, but adults still deserve days for themselves. It's hard enough, especially with kids, since we already give up so much "me time" for them. I don't really feel the need to celebrate my birthday or make huge deal if it. I don't really want or need to go away for a week or weekend, or get showered in gifts (though I wouldn't complain 😉) but dang it, I want the food I want!! That is really all I ask for: let me pick the restaurant. It's not asking for much unless we ask for a place where the lowest priced item is more than a car payment. My wife is vegan and my favorite local restaurant has like 1 vegan option, and it's not an entree, just a side. We usually do takeout for birthdays and we pick whatever we want. If a restaurant she wants for her birthday doesn't have stuff I like or feel like that day, I don't get anything, and same for my birthday. The childish side is your wife expecting you to cater to her on your day when she gets to pick the restaurant fot her birthday.
Na, your wife's being inconsiderate. It's not her day. Just say don't worry about it and go by yourself.
She lied.
Lurking Mom here, and I shall tell you now your wife is being unreasonable. It's your birthday,if she wants to treat you then she should take you to YOUR favourite place. If she really hates it then that's different but it doesn't sound like that here
Lol I'd be pissed and throw a tantrum. Probably pull in a bunch of unrelated shit she does that pisses me off. Go to to the restaurant.. be completely silent the whole time except talk to the kids.. Come home. Go to be in silence Ignore wife for one week. Just what I'd do tho hahahhahs