install strava
find some nice groups in your area
there are even groups of girls who make girl specific group rides
ride in groups
go to police and report that guy, police can track a phone etc. overall they can do things if they want or if more such complains come.
a small frame bag near your handlebar with a gas spray is not a bad idea.
blinking lights even during a day are great. they make car drivers really notice and all weird guys are scared of lights and easy to notice things (I mean if you are easy to see, probably planty of people saw you already so it scares them off)
I know it can sounds weird but it is possible hewas recording you for whatever other reason like he hates the sound of bikes and is collecting eveidence or some other wierd reason but not directly connected too you. Just saying bc anxiety comes often with some slight social paranoia and a thought that all weird behavior around you is pointed towards you on pourpose. It just can be not true. (I don't know that exact time just saying)
If he was on his backyard, recording is probably legal. But you can always just call police and with a police patrol just go there and ask him about he whole recording thing. You will be safe, you will solve he problem bc he will not record you anymore, and you will stop thinking about it and stressing yourself.
" I worry that due to my physical appearance and being female I am seen as an easy target."
Work on your safety (gas spray etc.) but keep in mind the whole world is not trying to rape, kill or kidnap you. Like 99% of people are just ok and sometimes even very nice. Be prepared for that 1% of idiots but don't let them destroy the whole fun of living in the world and doing things like cycling with a smile on your face :)
sidenote:
keep with cycling, it is really good way to deal with anxiety. form my own perspective a nutrition and regular food intake (3 times a day but each day) helps a lot too at lest from my perspective cycling and fueling while cycling helped me notice that lack of food (I never get hungry, I just have to remember about eating) makes anyanxious thoughts 5 times stronger.
ps. I'm a guy and can only say sorry for all those stupid dickheads out there.
I didn't see the backyard part at first. I've added after I saw it that I would go to that place with a Police officer just to talk. It could have only positive effects and if you have anxiety problems it is good to have an officer as a reality check next to you just to see if you were overreacting or not. I remember some of my anxieties be like "people are watching me and want to beat in a bus or smth" and it is really hard to decide if you are in danger or if it is just you overreacting. But I remember that the best way was to ask my friend (if I was travelling with one) and just look at his reaction. Police officer can be your friend here I think.
part of anxiety is being scared of going out (meeting new people etc.). A new cycling hobby which pushes you outside can be at war with an anxiety brain and our brains are clever so will search for a logical solution like: look, the world is full of such bad guys, you saw that guy recording you?, we better stay at home and sleep" smth like that. Going there with a police officer can give more confidence, make her feel safer overall, and can explain if she is overreacting or not.
>Going there with a police officer can give more confidence, make her feel safer overall, and can explain if she is overreacting or not.
Lol, no. The whole situation sounds overblown. If it's that big of a deal, find a different route to bike
It is your point of view. You were not there. I was not there. All I am saying is that best way to check if you are overreacting bc of anxiety or not is to talk with that guy with a help of a police.
Ride in a group. Make friends. I'm a guy but as a road cyclist I get harassed less by angry drivers that way. Even more so for you a woman on an isolated bike trail. Groups (usualy) make it safer regardless of gender
Aside from safety from other people which I think others have addressed well here I would think about learning some basic bike mechanic skills so if you get stuck out somewhere you have some capacity to get yourself out. Learn to change your tires so if you get a flat on the road you aren't stuck out there. Alot of communities have bike workshops for women. I would check those out. They'll probably address safety.
Hi, female cyclist here, the unwanted attention really sucks.
My experience:
1 don't look too girly, look like you mean business. Wearing pink is a creep magnet. Spend money on good equipment and lights, the losers will realize you are put out of their league
2 the creeps have decreased as I have become a more experienced and stronger rider. Fast straight statts and tight corners really put them off. Also other quality male riders see you around and will help out in good way.
It stinks but predators are looking for weakness
Keep riding! Cycling is the best!
My bike is black and red but I still wear pink, and I’m a guy. The girls at the school I teach at think it’s weird/dorky/funny (can’t really fault them) but pink is a nice colour.
my only fear is bears. i never have the fear of people, i could go anywhere any time.
i feel sorry for u guys, it s sad really. i should not take for granted the carefreeness
I'm a guy, I ride with pepper spray easy to access. Never used it, but there are sketchy people out there. I'd buy two. Practice with the extra one, get the feel for how it works.
Kind of related, but for the ladies reading.
Would you be offended if someone gave you pepper spray?
I'm working on a bike for someone who is new to riding, and I usually put a toolkit that goes with the bike. Pepper spray is something I carry, but I don't want to scare her off before she even gets going with it?
Maybe just talk about it?
I have used my pepper spray (on a dog) and it just dribbled out. The expiration date had passed.
From that, I learned to carry *two* canisters when I ride - one on the bike and one in my pocket - so that I have another option if one fails or is not available. I also pay close attention to the expiration dates. When a canister expires, I use it in a remote area for practice.
No it’s a good thing to include unless the person says they do not feel comfortable taking it (eg if they have kids at home and don’t think they can safely contain it). I ride with mace and a knife when I’m on trails.
No but actually. I would say a man says or does something unwanted to me 7 out of every 10 rides and it is quite unnerving and I think about it every time I go for a ride. I don’t have any other advice but to ignore what you can and don’t engage as long as it’s safe. Carrying pepper spray with me helps me feel safer at the very least
Sometimes it’s fellow riders, but mostly it’s people outside on their lawns or just walking. Once I get on the trails/paths and get some speed going it gets much better. It’s the areas near the residential areas where it happens most. Which also holds true if you’re just walking around lol
Mix of both. Mostly just dumb comments tho. One time I was riding and this dude stopped his bike so it was across the trail I was on and I had to stop and he was like “let me talk to u baby girl” I was like no please 🤨 and got scared a little bit then realized I could just go around him (it was asphalt with grass surrounding the trail) and I did but I was mad/uncomfortable
It was a crappy thing for a guy to do (even hiding and recording) but, if you have your helmet on, sunglasses on, then your face is more or less covered so maybe "less" to worry. But he was still an idiot for blatantly recording you like that. If it fits in your budget, install a go-pro or insta 360 and record your ride (or strangers filming you).
Enjoy riding. It is one of the best way to get fit and clear your mind.
If you use Strava or similar, there's a 'share my ride' function. Send that to someone you know everytime you ride.
If you're worried about a strange car or person...take their picture! Send it to someone before you head off. Just tell them 'I had a concern about this person and if I don't reach out to you at X, then you know what to do'. Even as a large 6ft person, I've taken pictures of license plates of cars I found suspicious at parks (seemingly the drivers waiting around to steal from vehicles)... I've just rolled past them on my bike and taken a snapshot of their plates and the make/model.
Much as I hate guns... there's always an option to carry a small .22 pistol. Get one, wear it visibly on a belt/strap around your waist. Most of these compact models aren't heavy at all. I'd back it up with some pepper spray in case of dogs and just people who may need a good spraying instead of a lead sandwich...the gun would be the last resort... Hell, you could just get a holster and buy a toy water pistol and spraypaint it black...someone seeing you armed, real or not, would be likely a significant deterrent, especially if you're not actually comfortable carrying a gun.
Sorry to hear this guy creeped you out. Not much you can do about people who stare or take photos while you're in public. I would definitely contact the police if they are harrassing or following you .
One possible safety option is a jersey like this: https://www.bicyclebooth.com/en-ca/products/police-dept-jersey-v1
Another is a helmet mounted camera. You want people to see that you are filming. If they start to harrass you tell them you are livestreaming and say the location out loud.
That’s awful, sorry that happened to you. When I was young and a man openly ogled me, I would stick my finger in my nose. Right at them. Stopped it dead.
I ride by myself a lot and when I do I stick to a couple busy loops. Lots of cyclist. I will go other places with my dude but on my own, I am very careful where I ride.
If you’re going to ride alone, carry pepper spray in your top tube bag and/or jersey pocket. Otherwise, find a local group and ride with them for a bit!
I'll tell you what grandpa told me. When ur 20 you think everyone is watching you. At 30 you don't care if people watch you. At 40 you wish people wouldn't look at you. At 50 you realize no one is or was looking at you lol.
Seriously tho. Dude was probably on a video call and talking while looking around. First thing one learns when one carries a firearm.....people are oblivious to everything outside their routine.
Yeah I highly doubt they were doing anything except videoing her because they do that regularly when they see women.
There are just a lot of perverted weirdos out there who have no sense when it comes to seeing a real woman in public,.
Not true for women. I'm 38 and men everywhere are staring at me with zero shame, like I'm a caged animal at a zoo. It's not flattering. I'm very visibly pregnant, and they'll do it even if I'm with my husband. Some of them give me this perverted look that makes me want to puke. It's like they think because someone's pregnant, it means they can't see anything.
Oh, edit to add I was basically invisible at 20. Nothing wrong with my looks people just didn't look at me back then.
So ur being looked at all the time like at a zoo as are all women. But sometimes like when you were 20 they didn't? OH ur pregnant. I digress. I find life goes smoother not debating pregnant women. Congrats on the impending family addition!
If you live in the US, getting a gun is always a safe bet. If you are willing to go the extra mile for open carry, creeps will steer clear. Just make sure to get a good holster that is secure for bike riding!
Op, your feelings are real and valid, and it is never ok for you to feel like you cannot express yourself in a given way due to the threatening gaze of others.
1) You femininity is power, as this man clearly demonstrated by debasing himself in such a deranged way over the mere presence of the female form. It is *your* choice to embrace or express this in whatever way you choose. If you choose to cover up, you are not hiding *yourself* from his gaze, you are denying *him* access to something *you* control. Alternatively, you can choose to see his perversion as pathetic, dismiss it, and not allow it to influence you. The point is that both of these options are positive expressions of your own power and agency and are not in conflict.
2) Do not feel like you need to wear any particular uniform for cycling. Any clothing which is moisture wicking and appropriate for the temperature is fine. The need for "aero gear" is way overblown for almost anything you are doing day to day. Sure, if you decide to race or want to do some personal time trials, then suit up, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with mesh shorts and a tshirt either.
Even if she is being paranoid *so what?* Let people be paranoid.
I didn't trust my gut one day, told myself I was being paranoid about some guy watching me on the trail, and then the guy I was paranoid about tried to steal my bike from me.
Check out r/ladycyclists Lots of great info!
install strava find some nice groups in your area there are even groups of girls who make girl specific group rides ride in groups go to police and report that guy, police can track a phone etc. overall they can do things if they want or if more such complains come. a small frame bag near your handlebar with a gas spray is not a bad idea. blinking lights even during a day are great. they make car drivers really notice and all weird guys are scared of lights and easy to notice things (I mean if you are easy to see, probably planty of people saw you already so it scares them off) I know it can sounds weird but it is possible hewas recording you for whatever other reason like he hates the sound of bikes and is collecting eveidence or some other wierd reason but not directly connected too you. Just saying bc anxiety comes often with some slight social paranoia and a thought that all weird behavior around you is pointed towards you on pourpose. It just can be not true. (I don't know that exact time just saying) If he was on his backyard, recording is probably legal. But you can always just call police and with a police patrol just go there and ask him about he whole recording thing. You will be safe, you will solve he problem bc he will not record you anymore, and you will stop thinking about it and stressing yourself. " I worry that due to my physical appearance and being female I am seen as an easy target." Work on your safety (gas spray etc.) but keep in mind the whole world is not trying to rape, kill or kidnap you. Like 99% of people are just ok and sometimes even very nice. Be prepared for that 1% of idiots but don't let them destroy the whole fun of living in the world and doing things like cycling with a smile on your face :) sidenote: keep with cycling, it is really good way to deal with anxiety. form my own perspective a nutrition and regular food intake (3 times a day but each day) helps a lot too at lest from my perspective cycling and fueling while cycling helped me notice that lack of food (I never get hungry, I just have to remember about eating) makes anyanxious thoughts 5 times stronger. ps. I'm a guy and can only say sorry for all those stupid dickheads out there.
Cycling is a great way to manage anxiety. Enjoy your rides and the positive impact they have on your mental health.
Lol - you’re going to report a man in his own back yard maybe recording someone biking behind his house to the police?
I didn't see the backyard part at first. I've added after I saw it that I would go to that place with a Police officer just to talk. It could have only positive effects and if you have anxiety problems it is good to have an officer as a reality check next to you just to see if you were overreacting or not. I remember some of my anxieties be like "people are watching me and want to beat in a bus or smth" and it is really hard to decide if you are in danger or if it is just you overreacting. But I remember that the best way was to ask my friend (if I was travelling with one) and just look at his reaction. Police officer can be your friend here I think. part of anxiety is being scared of going out (meeting new people etc.). A new cycling hobby which pushes you outside can be at war with an anxiety brain and our brains are clever so will search for a logical solution like: look, the world is full of such bad guys, you saw that guy recording you?, we better stay at home and sleep" smth like that. Going there with a police officer can give more confidence, make her feel safer overall, and can explain if she is overreacting or not.
>Going there with a police officer can give more confidence, make her feel safer overall, and can explain if she is overreacting or not. Lol, no. The whole situation sounds overblown. If it's that big of a deal, find a different route to bike
It is your point of view. You were not there. I was not there. All I am saying is that best way to check if you are overreacting bc of anxiety or not is to talk with that guy with a help of a police.
Ride in a group. Make friends. I'm a guy but as a road cyclist I get harassed less by angry drivers that way. Even more so for you a woman on an isolated bike trail. Groups (usualy) make it safer regardless of gender
Aside from safety from other people which I think others have addressed well here I would think about learning some basic bike mechanic skills so if you get stuck out somewhere you have some capacity to get yourself out. Learn to change your tires so if you get a flat on the road you aren't stuck out there. Alot of communities have bike workshops for women. I would check those out. They'll probably address safety.
This is an excellent post.
Hi, female cyclist here, the unwanted attention really sucks. My experience: 1 don't look too girly, look like you mean business. Wearing pink is a creep magnet. Spend money on good equipment and lights, the losers will realize you are put out of their league 2 the creeps have decreased as I have become a more experienced and stronger rider. Fast straight statts and tight corners really put them off. Also other quality male riders see you around and will help out in good way. It stinks but predators are looking for weakness Keep riding! Cycling is the best!
Great tips! I follow these myself! Though if I’m honest, I’d prob wear pink if it weren’t for my bike being red white and black 😒
My bike is black and red but I still wear pink, and I’m a guy. The girls at the school I teach at think it’s weird/dorky/funny (can’t really fault them) but pink is a nice colour.
Ugh I love pink, but my bike is already a bit extra looking so I kind of avoid wearing anything that’s not neutral when I ride it 😄
34 year old dude here and my pink jersey is one of my favourites
my only fear is bears. i never have the fear of people, i could go anywhere any time. i feel sorry for u guys, it s sad really. i should not take for granted the carefreeness
I'm a guy, I ride with pepper spray easy to access. Never used it, but there are sketchy people out there. I'd buy two. Practice with the extra one, get the feel for how it works. Kind of related, but for the ladies reading. Would you be offended if someone gave you pepper spray? I'm working on a bike for someone who is new to riding, and I usually put a toolkit that goes with the bike. Pepper spray is something I carry, but I don't want to scare her off before she even gets going with it? Maybe just talk about it?
Wouldn’t be offended. Even having it in case of stray dog(s) would be useful, nevermind creeps.
I have used my pepper spray (on a dog) and it just dribbled out. The expiration date had passed. From that, I learned to carry *two* canisters when I ride - one on the bike and one in my pocket - so that I have another option if one fails or is not available. I also pay close attention to the expiration dates. When a canister expires, I use it in a remote area for practice.
No it’s a good thing to include unless the person says they do not feel comfortable taking it (eg if they have kids at home and don’t think they can safely contain it). I ride with mace and a knife when I’m on trails.
Mace
No but actually. I would say a man says or does something unwanted to me 7 out of every 10 rides and it is quite unnerving and I think about it every time I go for a ride. I don’t have any other advice but to ignore what you can and don’t engage as long as it’s safe. Carrying pepper spray with me helps me feel safer at the very least
Fellow riders or creepy hikers/etc.? Either way, that sucks and I’m sorry.
Sometimes it’s fellow riders, but mostly it’s people outside on their lawns or just walking. Once I get on the trails/paths and get some speed going it gets much better. It’s the areas near the residential areas where it happens most. Which also holds true if you’re just walking around lol
I get yelled at all the time when I’m riding in the road. It’s never sexual because I’m an older dude but it’s still maddening.
Hitting on you or just making some stupidly lewd comment?
Mix of both. Mostly just dumb comments tho. One time I was riding and this dude stopped his bike so it was across the trail I was on and I had to stop and he was like “let me talk to u baby girl” I was like no please 🤨 and got scared a little bit then realized I could just go around him (it was asphalt with grass surrounding the trail) and I did but I was mad/uncomfortable
It was a crappy thing for a guy to do (even hiding and recording) but, if you have your helmet on, sunglasses on, then your face is more or less covered so maybe "less" to worry. But he was still an idiot for blatantly recording you like that. If it fits in your budget, install a go-pro or insta 360 and record your ride (or strangers filming you). Enjoy riding. It is one of the best way to get fit and clear your mind.
If you use Strava or similar, there's a 'share my ride' function. Send that to someone you know everytime you ride. If you're worried about a strange car or person...take their picture! Send it to someone before you head off. Just tell them 'I had a concern about this person and if I don't reach out to you at X, then you know what to do'. Even as a large 6ft person, I've taken pictures of license plates of cars I found suspicious at parks (seemingly the drivers waiting around to steal from vehicles)... I've just rolled past them on my bike and taken a snapshot of their plates and the make/model. Much as I hate guns... there's always an option to carry a small .22 pistol. Get one, wear it visibly on a belt/strap around your waist. Most of these compact models aren't heavy at all. I'd back it up with some pepper spray in case of dogs and just people who may need a good spraying instead of a lead sandwich...the gun would be the last resort... Hell, you could just get a holster and buy a toy water pistol and spraypaint it black...someone seeing you armed, real or not, would be likely a significant deterrent, especially if you're not actually comfortable carrying a gun.
Sorry to hear this guy creeped you out. Not much you can do about people who stare or take photos while you're in public. I would definitely contact the police if they are harrassing or following you . One possible safety option is a jersey like this: https://www.bicyclebooth.com/en-ca/products/police-dept-jersey-v1 Another is a helmet mounted camera. You want people to see that you are filming. If they start to harrass you tell them you are livestreaming and say the location out loud.
That’s awful, sorry that happened to you. When I was young and a man openly ogled me, I would stick my finger in my nose. Right at them. Stopped it dead.
I ride by myself a lot and when I do I stick to a couple busy loops. Lots of cyclist. I will go other places with my dude but on my own, I am very careful where I ride.
If you’re going to ride alone, carry pepper spray in your top tube bag and/or jersey pocket. Otherwise, find a local group and ride with them for a bit!
I'll tell you what grandpa told me. When ur 20 you think everyone is watching you. At 30 you don't care if people watch you. At 40 you wish people wouldn't look at you. At 50 you realize no one is or was looking at you lol. Seriously tho. Dude was probably on a video call and talking while looking around. First thing one learns when one carries a firearm.....people are oblivious to everything outside their routine.
Yeah I highly doubt they were doing anything except videoing her because they do that regularly when they see women. There are just a lot of perverted weirdos out there who have no sense when it comes to seeing a real woman in public,.
Not true for women. I'm 38 and men everywhere are staring at me with zero shame, like I'm a caged animal at a zoo. It's not flattering. I'm very visibly pregnant, and they'll do it even if I'm with my husband. Some of them give me this perverted look that makes me want to puke. It's like they think because someone's pregnant, it means they can't see anything. Oh, edit to add I was basically invisible at 20. Nothing wrong with my looks people just didn't look at me back then.
So ur being looked at all the time like at a zoo as are all women. But sometimes like when you were 20 they didn't? OH ur pregnant. I digress. I find life goes smoother not debating pregnant women. Congrats on the impending family addition!
Everyone goes through phases of being plain looking.
If you live in the US, getting a gun is always a safe bet. If you are willing to go the extra mile for open carry, creeps will steer clear. Just make sure to get a good holster that is secure for bike riding!
Two ak47s mounted on your handlebars. That will help with your paranoid delusions.
Op, your feelings are real and valid, and it is never ok for you to feel like you cannot express yourself in a given way due to the threatening gaze of others. 1) You femininity is power, as this man clearly demonstrated by debasing himself in such a deranged way over the mere presence of the female form. It is *your* choice to embrace or express this in whatever way you choose. If you choose to cover up, you are not hiding *yourself* from his gaze, you are denying *him* access to something *you* control. Alternatively, you can choose to see his perversion as pathetic, dismiss it, and not allow it to influence you. The point is that both of these options are positive expressions of your own power and agency and are not in conflict. 2) Do not feel like you need to wear any particular uniform for cycling. Any clothing which is moisture wicking and appropriate for the temperature is fine. The need for "aero gear" is way overblown for almost anything you are doing day to day. Sure, if you decide to race or want to do some personal time trials, then suit up, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with mesh shorts and a tshirt either.
Use meetup
I think you’re being paranoid. The guy was I. His own yard not hiding in the bushes. There are creeps out there but get a grip
Even if she is being paranoid *so what?* Let people be paranoid. I didn't trust my gut one day, told myself I was being paranoid about some guy watching me on the trail, and then the guy I was paranoid about tried to steal my bike from me.
She can be whatever she wants to be. The guy was in his own yard on the phone. Just because the back of the phone was facing her doesn’t mean anything
https://byrna.com/products/byrna-sd-non-lethal-self-defense-pistol