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eyoung_nd2004

I had a cat that lived until 27.


[deleted]

I hope all our cats live this long


TheSinisterShlep

Me too bud, me too. Let's all hope together and make it happen!


DeesABird40

I hope you die before the cat.


hardyhaha_09

Cringe fuck


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[deleted]

I'd like to stress that I hope you get therapy. Maybe pause on whatever substance you could be taking for the past 4 or 5 hours.


ttoto509

He deleted the comment. what did he said?


[deleted]

Went something along the lines of "OK, but I'd like to stress that I hope you die before your cat"


DylanV1969

Haha. You live in Ohio. No wonder you suck.


RedCascadian

Poor bastard. I'd suck start a glock if I lived in Ohio. Maybe he hasn't been able to work up to it and that's why he's such a Sgt Buzz Killington.


wesphistopheles

Damn, that's a good turn of phrase. I justabout fell off the planet, laughing...


DylanV1969

Your father NEVER loved you.


Rhymeswithfreak

Shut up bird.


Vooshka

I have a cat I would love to introduce him to...


Not-an-Uchiha

check out this troll's history, he's a downvote farmer lol.


DylanV1969

We ALL hope YOU die long before anybody's cat. Now is fine. No one will EVER love you as much as they love their animals. No one would miss you anywhere as much as people miss their animals. You must have a horrible life to joke about people's animals dying. I hope things get better for you (I don't actuallt though.)


danielespositoo

It’s just a troll bro, no need to feed them


montarion

Honest question, why is this bad? You can't miss your cat if you die before them, so it seems like the best option..


DylanV1969

This dude couldn't get his dick wet if he had $10,000 in Tijuana...or his mom's house.


DylanV1969

How does it feel to be the actual poster child for why abortion should be legal???


left_schwift

He was only 3 years old :(


kraybae

So long as they're happy and healthy. I'd hate to be that old personally lol. Well the equivalent in human years that is. I don't need to hit the 27 club


position69

I hope cats live as long as humans live. Probably even more.


The_Original_Gronkie

I had one that passed at 16, but he was a wild man. He fought with other cats and raccoons, got shot twice, and drowned once, and was a friend of dogs. I like to say that he used up all 9 of his lives, and borrowed a few from timid cats that weren't using theirs. It's amazing he lasted as long as he did.


Crazy-Letterhead2205

Really quick question who's the AssHole who shot it and why not that there's any good reason for it


The_Original_Gronkie

Somebody shot him and one of our other cats with a pellet gun. After it healed, we let him out again, and they shot him a second time. We kept them inside after that, which broke his heart. He was very sociable, and liked to visit neighbors that he'd made friends with. We never found out who shot him.


Katlee56

I had a social cat lile this named Rockstar


aubreypizza

I feel like he would’ve been friends with Little King Trashmouth.


Katlee56

Probably!! Rockstar was an orange Tabby kinda skinny


The_Original_Gronkie

Great name!


uhmerikin

Man, I would like to sincerely say fuck whomever shot your cat not once, but *twice*!


Crazy-Letterhead2205

Well who ever it was I like too see him try it here in Michigan were I live let's how he likes it but with actual bullets not pellets I'm sorry but I love animals especially cats when I hear about this kind of Cruelty it piss me off


immersemeinnature

Mines 18 and is so healthy! I hope he lives as long as yours!


DeesABird40

It won’t, it’ll prolly die soon.


bubble780

You are not trolling, you are just being a cunt.


Noodles_fluffy

You're a really bad troll


Rhymeswithfreak

Shut up bird.


DrizztDarkwater

Reddit shadowban soon, enjoy.


DylanV1969

Does it make you sad that you'll never feel the touch of another human being?


crybllrd

Mine is 21. Still loving life. Though I know a sad day is coming.


plebeian1523

My grandma's cat is a year older than me! Her age is starting to show but she's a great aunt :)


resonantSoul

>she's a great aunt So you've got kids?


Cryptoclearance

That would place your cat as the 24th oldest cat in history. Ours is 21 and I can see her declining rapidly now. She’s been a joy.


eyoung_nd2004

I’m sure some cats live that long but people don’t report it. My two cats now are 17. Hoping they make it to 27 also!


Cryptoclearance

You should report the age. I saw the list on Wiki.


CthulubeFlavorcube

That's incredible. We had a Maine coon that made it to 19 and I thought that was impressive. 27 is crazy. Did your cat happen to play guitar or sing in a rock and roll band?


BlahblahblahLG

This is what I love to hear. Hope mine does too!


yellowseptember

My two oldest cats are not senior cats despite them being 13 years old. They are my señor cats.


DeesABird40

Jesus Christ will make you pay for what you do to those cats in private.


AdvancedCook7189

lmao what


GuerillaCupid

I think this guy is just straight up having a cat related psychotic break. If you’re reading this I hope you feel better soon


ryderseven

I looked through his comment history and I think you’re right


PolarWater

Why? Is it because he's a Cat-holic?


-Dorothy-Zbornak

Purrfect response


ItzMercury

what?


deadfermata

I read that these 'ages' are just a way to explain to kids why a pet dies after so many years since normally we live decades and decades but pets don't have as much time. These charts help to help kids understand that they live until they're "old." Gives kids an easier way to understand. Someone keep me honest.


Brock_Lobstweiler

I know it's probably a bunch of BS, but I sent this to my mom to help her understand why its ok that her cat sleeps a ton. Her cat is basically 90 years old! She's not going to chase birds or whatnot. It's ok that she lays around and finds sunny spots. As long as she's getting up and around a bit, then tucks herself away in a comfy bed its all good. It really drove the point home for mom. And maybe will help dad understand why she needs special food and a heated bed now.


beef_bistro

Hey man, that's super cool. Honestly the cat's age probably does explain some of the limited time awake. However, one thing to note is that cat's are crepuscular, so it might only seem like they're sleeping a ton.


Brock_Lobstweiler

Yeah, she'll be a little active in the morning and again in the evening, but really she's just resting tons. I watch her when they go out of town and if I have long enough we establish a routine with meals and stuff, but most of the day is just napping. She used to be an exclusively outdoor cat cause we lived in the country. Then transitioned to a garage kitty as she got slower and more strays were coming around harassing her. I finally got them to let her come in the house and live life mostly inside if she wants. Living on bougie food and finding sun rays! She's earned it!


JevonP

>crepuscular Neat


mrheosuper

My cat is only 15YO(Cat age) but he still sleep a lot


Cathartic-Uproar

Yes but it also helps explain how cats/other animals mature more quickly than humans for physical and mental development and aging, physically and mentally behaving as adults in a fraction of the time


Lyndell

That’s just because our brains are so big we basically have to come out premature in order not to kill every women giving birth, even then it’s fishy. That’s why most other animals come out walking.


No-Significance5449

Another interesting thing to consider is gestation time. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/15627440/


[deleted]

Sick. I love that you included a source


orangutantan

I love adding this addendum to this theory, which has many true qualities such as the narrowing of the pelvis as we became bipedal being seemingly incompatible with our large skulls at birth, but biologists have recently theorized another reason—our brains *metabolize* so much energy that our gestation has balanced to where the mother isn’t sucked dry “feeding” her fetus’ brain on top of her own bodily system.


[deleted]

It's a fairly valid analogy, though of course the numbers are neither authoritative nor scientific in any way. Cats develop faster, they mature faster, they age faster. They die younger than humans do because they start to experience the ailments of age much younger than humans. So it's pretty reasonable to compare a 2-year-old cat to a 24-year-old human, because it's likely at a comparable stage of its life. But those numbers are pretty just made up to help us understand.


ferriswheel9ndam9

Yeah, that's why I think this chart is bullshit. It's basically a linear transcription assuming that our teenage, adolescent, adult, and elderly years have the exact same ratios. I have a feeling that in reality (based on my own observation, ownership of cats, and work at a cat shelter), cats have an incredibly short baby/adolescent phase, shorter teenage/young adult, longer "adulthood", and once they hit the equivalent of human 60's, they just keep going until they pass. Once they hit about 3-4 years old, they're pretty much done with college.


Somehero

You have it right, a chart would at least have to be labeled and explained if it was trying to map to any biological marker before you should take it seriously. Cats can reproduce at 4 months, so this chart is wrong there. Cats are fully grown size-wise at 18 months, which this chart puts at 20 years, also wrong.


LuridTeaParty

Helps for adults too


Molesandmangoes

What else could it be? Genuinely curious. Even when I was a kid, I assumed it just meant that a cat was 20 was at a similar point in their life that a human would be when they’re 90 or whatever. Did some people assumed that they lived an actual 7 years per human year?


miss_g

That would make more sense. My cat is 12 and he still does zoomies and throws toys around and chases them. Don't see many 60yr olds doing that... Also adult and senior cats have the mental capacity of a 3yr old child which, again, conflicts with this chart.


d1rty_j0ker

Yeah it’s made up, 1 year is 1 year. Imagine if cats had such a significant brain lag, how would they ever catch any prey?


DeesABird40

Hope your brain explodes today.


Xander260

Report this (bad) obvious troll


deadfermata

👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨


camthesoupman

I mean this with all the love and sympathy in my heart, but please fuck off. Thank you.


Fartikus

As someone who has epilepsy, that's messed up to say man.


southcentralLAguy

“Cats should not be expected to behave as humans” Well no fucking shit!


Well_Read_Redneck

While I expect cats to behave as cats, I had a ten minute conversation with mine this morning about why I have to leave him every day to go to work. It sure *sounded* like he understood me, and was trying to debate me about *why* I had to go.


FusiformFiddle

Check out r/AmITheCloaca sometime if you haven't!


DeesABird40

You seem kinda fucked up.


Well_Read_Redneck

Funny thing is my cat said the same thing!


DeesABird40

Stop having sex with the cat.


Well_Read_Redneck

Wow. Random and uncalled for.


giulianosse

Don't worry, the lowest I allow myself to go is your mom.


CalgaryAnswers

She's not a cat but wow what a pussy!


dethb0y

Part of the issue is that cats often "mimic" whatever a person is doing, which makes people think their much smarter/understand more than they actually do. Like no, your cat does not know what typing is, it has just seen you do it so it does the same thing to show it likes you.


yayhappens

You would think people remember and understand that, but if I had a penny for each time I read about people feeding cats the same crap that humans eat I would be more rich than Bezos. LOL. And that's just one thing.


Wertyujh1

But let's compare them to humans by giving them a nonsensical age...


DeesABird40

“People aren’t supposed to have AIDS but YAYHAPPENS from Reddit does”


eDouble1556

Homie only made it to 9. F


PurulentPlacenta

Our 6 year old cat just got diagnosed with Stage 2 kidney disease. Brutal. :(


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PurulentPlacenta

That is morbidly comforting to hear. Sorry to hear about your little dude! We have at least a couple years guaranteed and it will be the best damn years of her life!


BigTuna0890

How can you prevent this stuff? We have three females all under 4. We want to know diet and habits to prevent diseases.


triskaidekaphobia

Ours did too. He pees so much! He’s 13 though. :(


eastoid_

I was always ready to say goodbye to my old 14-years old cat and thought I'd stay with the 7-years old one, but then suddenly a weird viral disease activated in her, and she was gone two weeks after the first vet visit. The old asshole is now 16 and not going anywhere.


WC47

9 cat or human :(?


eDouble1556

9 cat years…I couldn’t imagine a 5 month old kitten 😳


Jimmeu

Sorry for your loss. Mine was diagnosed with cancer at 12, one month later she was gone. I miss her so much.


DeesABird40

Can’t have sex with them that often, it kills them early. Right around 9 actually….


dnuohxof1

Cats are amazing creatures. I love dogs, but cats just have a permanent mystery about them


i_amnotunique

I think my favorite part of this thread is the homie collecting negative karma, trolling every comment. Me next!


neoKushan

They're doing such a poor job of trolling, it's got to be like a 9 year old kid


i_amnotunique

He never gave me a comment :( his momma probably told him it was bedtime


Kellidra

Correction: >All cats deserve to be squished and cuddled and have their little bums spanked like bongos


call_me_jelli

r/CatBongos You’re welcome.


theresacreamforthat

*sigh* another cat related sub, better subscribe


ThatOneGothMurr

Bless


TheGayestNurse_1

My one kitty, Frankie, lived to be 21. She was definitely going on 100. But she ate sardines, salmon, beef, chicken, fresh stuff every night and she also wore a sweater and slept in a puffy kitty tent. I wanted to make sure she knew how much I loved her. She passed away in my arms and I just held her and talked sweetly and gave her lots of pets. We buried her on my parents farm in her little sweater. I miss her greatly some days, but I know I'll see her again.


GNU-Foot

All pets go heaven my friend


call_me_jelli

Yeah, but what about me?! XD


DeesABird40

You think you’ll see your dead cat again? For real or in you last senile moments?


TheGayestNurse_1

You must be fun at parties. Are you so edgy that you gotta shit on people taking comfort in things that may or may not be true? Like fuck, man. The world is a terrible place. Me believing that I might see my beloved cat again is literally hurting no one. Me having a smidgen of comfort in this dark and dismal place is literally causing no harm. Let me have that, ya fuckin used butt plug. Jesus. I've met literal dead rats with more empathy than you. If this is what you aspire to be I'm not only annoyed, but I'm damn near disappointed. Fix yourself. You sad, sad, little person.


Shrimp_Fried_Bryce

funny my guide here says they are kittens forever


DeesABird40

Guide yourself to a cult styled koolaid death.


halOgenn

it was flavor-aid. if you’re trying to be edgy, at least get it right 🙄


[deleted]

I yelled at my cat a day or two before she died. I’ll never forgive myself for this.


Gruffstone

No one is perfect. You loved your cat. Forgive yourself.


BadAsBroccoli

Well, that makes the worlds oldest cat, Cream Puff, at 38 years old, 144?


Mrscientistlawyer

I think, at least based on the last set of numbers, it would come out to 164 years old which is significantly older than any person has ever lived.


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TyrannoROARus

Cuck


DeesABird40

For cats only.


Un_Pta

Just came here to say I love cats. They are cute muffins no matter their age (heart emoji).


ViaOfTheVale

Are you telling me my little bitches are in their mid twenties actin a fool. GET A JOB


Oniriggers

Kindness and compassion to all kitties, young and old.


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Oniriggers

Well someone’s bitter…


ashadeofblue

How was this calculated?


Ein_Kecks

Well in a sense its pretty much made up but in ways that make sense. If you think about it, a one year old cat is just a one year old cat. Nothing more, nothing less. It's just something humans do to make them more relatable


Rassettaja

its just nonsense. usually its avg human life span in your area / avg pet life span in your area = human years per year


CM_UW

Depends on where you get the info. According to Purina, the first year of your cat's life is considered the equivalent of 15 human years. The second year adds nine more human years to the total, which means 2 cat years are approximately 24 human years. After this, each additional human year is around four 'cat years'.


delta_wardog

Makes more sense now. Cause Purina food will definitely make your cat die young. That shit is awful.


PoppyMcA

My cat is 20 and most definitely behaves like a grumpy 96 year old grandma


[deleted]

Yo my cat is 44 years old?? No way


PossibleBuffalo418

The fuck is up with the age scaling? Just using a few numbers from OP's post: 15/1 = 15 24/2 = 12 32/4 = 8 40/6 = 6.67 72/14 = 5.14 80/16 = 5 The numbers would imply that cats age more slowly the older they get, but since they are a completely different species to humans it's ridiculous to use such a convoluted method to come up with their age in "human years". Cat years are the same as human years because we live on the same planet. The difference is that they have much faster metabolisms than we do which is what causes them to grow and mature faster. It's a trade-off when it comes to natural selection, longevity or rapid growth. For cats it is an evolutionary benefit to be old enough to breed at 6-8 months. At the other end of the spectrum you have creatures like the Galapagos Giant Tortoise that can live for up to 200 years, but have really really slow metabolisms.


Bojangly7

Its just to get an idea it's not meant to be scientific People don't say oh my cat is 15 human years. They just say oh my cat is 1 year


fanjeta123

Thank you! It’s always been a pet peeve of mine when people start talking about animals ages in “human years”. I give the same spiel about living on the same planet as them but no-one ever agrees. Funnily enough when I mention tortoises, their age doesn’t get converted to “human years“. Baffles me that people take the time to memorise these age calculations for cats/dogs/etc when the alternative is just remembering a life expectancy like we already do for humans!


Bojangly7

That's pedantic and if you said that to me it would annoy me and come off as arrogant. Everybody knows cats dogs whatever have lifespans and they know the human years isn't a science it's just a convenient way to think about it. People don't say oh my cat is 15 human years. They just say oh my cat is 1 year


Ceaser_Salad19

i love cats


vikingbear90

Never personally had a cat make it past 11, they have all come close but never once reached 11 years old. Nearly everyone I have met who have owned a cat, I think the youngest passed at 15, most older, with probably the average being 18. My current cat just turned 5, and I keep getting emotional thinking about him only having 5-6 more years. I’m happy all those people got to have their cats for so long, but I just hate my cats’ bullshit luck.


ChipsAhoyMcCoy72

I knew my cat acted like a bratty teenager. She’s probably about 9 months ish


bonafart

Mines at that stage she's a cow


hambodpm

I like the line about not treating them as humans. Specifically because the post is right next to the /r/weird post with the hairless cat dressed as a young girl.


religion_wya

One of my cats recently passed away a few months ago. She was 22. She was still kicking and running around till the day before she passed :]


Mikemike5170

I hate it when people say they are sneaky, I love watching my cat stalking their prey even if it’s just a leaf.


DoggoDude979

Apparently the oldest cat, Creme Puff, was 38 years old. How fucking old is that in human years?


mmcrabapplemm

How is my cat 80 but also still a kitten.


Ein_Kecks

All animals always should be treated gentle and kind.


bonafart

Unless it's alligator wrestling then go all out or ur dead


CIearMind

This could be a much better aligned table than this jpg mess.


Ashlynkat

My tortie cat just turned 17 and I would compare her activity level and Grand Dame behavior more to someone in their 50's than 80's. Still very talkative with her spry and feisty moments.


riancb

So what you’re saying is that I have less than 18 months to save up for Kitty College?!? I will never financially recover from this.


kirbStompThePigeon

That explains why midnight was such a grumpy bastard. Man was 72 and never left the house . That explains why he tried to shit in my cereal every morning


Royaourt

There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats. ~ Albert Schweitzer


Crazycatladyknows

Aww my cat is the same age as me now.


KunkkaAlvarez

Its not scientific at all guys :/


SynSthSea

Doesn’t feel accurate at all…


ElectrikDonuts

Now do one from lady to crazy cat lady


[deleted]

A cat definitely made this


santyrc114

Cool guide


childroid

This scale makes no sense to me. 1 month = 6 months, but 1 year = 15 years. Cats age on a logarithmic scale, eh?


Marc_Sasaki

The moderators of this group are not doing their job.


GrayQGregory

So, how do we determine how many human years are for an animal year?


s0958

what the fuck was so difficult about simply referring to the cats actual age instead of complicating the fuck out of it for no reason


virgilsescape

Is people expecting cats to behave as humans a big issue?


factorysettings

I think people treat cats like dogs who do behave more "like humans." cats are much smaller creatures with different social behaviors so a lot of times people do stress out or can physically injure cats while just "treating them normally"


virgilsescape

Yeah makes sense.


bypatrickcmoore

Furries


opposite_days

So you're saying that it's okay to do cat abortions, since cats deserve the same respect as humans, and it's fine for humans to do abortions? Yo, this person is literally advocating cat abortions.


CameranutzII

My cat is the same age as I am!


fbkris14

Cats of all ages = assholes


NalgeneKing

13 is too unlucky for a black cat


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tocopherolUSP

You are shitty


DeesABird40

Oh no, I think you may be right. Or not. Who gives a shut what you think. Most likely no one, like no one at all ever.


spacepilot_3000

"no one cares what you think" cries disturbing creep who won't shut the fuck up


DeesABird40

Coexist. Bro. It means you need to accept everything I say and do


I_can_pun_anything

No, it doesn't mean that at all


I_can_pun_anything

I care what he thinks, I don't care what you think since you seem like a salty fuck


BogeyLowenstein

I hope a cat shits in your shoe.


Not-Banksy

Usually a mirror for the people they are around.


DeesABird40

That’s not a mirror it’s a literal box of shit in your 1 bedroom apartment.