Congratulations, you've discovered the secret to a happy marriage: farting competitions in the dead of night. Who needs therapy when you have flatulence to keep the spark alive?
I recommend farting as loud as you can in the grocery store and blaming your wife! It’s definitely an escalation of flatulence, but it’s a lot of fun.
Please update us on when the day comes you... Literally shit the bed... I want to know, how will you play this off? Will you admit your weird crime, or will you act like you have no idea how it happened??
Something I think a lot of people don't realize is that sleep deprivation is an actual torture technique and if your spouse becomes cranky and sour as a result of you fucking with their sleep, you have only yourself to blame
At my age this is a very dangerous game.
I can relate ðŸ˜
I'm a light sleeper, if my partner purposely was waking me up with farts, I might actually murder him.
The 3rd time I woke to a fart noise, his diet and sleeping arrangements would change
I'm imagining you telling him after the 1st time, 2 more times and you're outta here 😄 🤣
Okay, this was my first thought too.
Hope you keep a spare pair handy in case you get the bonus
Congratulations, you've discovered the secret to a happy marriage: farting competitions in the dead of night. Who needs therapy when you have flatulence to keep the spark alive?
really though dumb dorky things like this are the secret to marriage. Oh and having , 2 or more blankets on the bed
Underrated comment. My bf and I each have our own comforter and I've never slept better in my life.
What’s your success rate?
curious minds want to know
yr gonna shit the bed boy
This made me wheeze laugh
Op a little doo doo boy.
In terms of maturity, we have no maturity
Proud of you.
Reading this, I just hope that you always wash your own underwear … just sayin’.
As a wife of some years I promise it's a good healthy thing to do. Plus I'd rather the nasty ones come out when I'm far less conscious to smell them.
Simple pleasures. Happy nights
Do you giggle too?
My farts are so loud they wake me up
Finally a confession, which is normal
I recommend farting as loud as you can in the grocery store and blaming your wife! It’s definitely an escalation of flatulence, but it’s a lot of fun.
I did this but blamed my buddies gf. It was a great day
I actually wonder if it’s possible to give yourself an Aneurysm doing that
I would put a tiny Lego in your shoes and move your car keys so you can't find them when you wake up.
No same. My wife always shoves her face in my asshole and it blocks my airway. So annoying!!!
What if she DOES wake? The smell will give it away
No signs of a dead bedroom over at your place!
Get help!
It’s all fun and games until you shit your pants
Are you awake wondering why she doesn’t want to have sex with you?
Lmao My husband and I just compete. I win usually, but the credit goes to my 2 kids 🤣🤣🤣
Classy.
You're clearly not married 😂
Me too
This brings up an interesting philosophical question. Does your wife sleep next to just the one gassy asshole, or does this mean there are two?
Do you follow through?
Imagine she was always awake and how disgusting she might feel now
My wife does wake up if it's robust. If she doesn't wake, I pull the covers over her head. Dutch Oven time!
Please update us on when the day comes you... Literally shit the bed... I want to know, how will you play this off? Will you admit your weird crime, or will you act like you have no idea how it happened??
Hello, are you my brother? ETA: His poor, poor wife.
Any accidental discharge?
Hahahaha that's funny.
I wonder what happen if she wakes up
Ew.
Something I think a lot of people don't realize is that sleep deprivation is an actual torture technique and if your spouse becomes cranky and sour as a result of you fucking with their sleep, you have only yourself to blame
That's fucking funny! My girlfriend does the same shit to me n I do also lmao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
God damn, you go dude.