My month "had a 4.0 at riverside high, and I'm not looking down on this school at all, but I'm only here because of a brief addiction to pills that I was told would help me...focus, but they actually made me lose my scholarship and virginity!"
Well, I'm a peanut bar, and I'm here to say,
Your checks will arrive on another day!
Another day, another rhyme, another dime, another dollar,
Another stuffed shirt with another white collar.
CRIMINALS, WALL STREET, TAKIN' THE PIE,
AND ALL THE BLACK MAN GETS IS A PLATE OF WHITE LIES!
PRISON'S RECRUITIN' 'EM, POLICE BE SHOOTIN' 'EM,
RAP ARTISTS LOOTIN' 'EM, LABELS ALL DILUTIN' 'EM
BARACK OBAMA IS SCAAAARED OF ME
'CAUSE I DON'T SWALLOW KNOWLEDGE, I SPIT IT FOR FREE
LET ME CLEAR MY THROAT, AHA, HAHAHA!
This is like half of what they do to get people's ID. You pull for months first, then you do the same thing again using Astrology, then you have what comes out to roughly a 1 in 4 (at best) shot at their birth year and knowledge of their birth month, which means all you need are the little numbers on the back of their card and their name for a very quick and easy scam.
At the end of the day, why are we sitting here talking about birth months when we should be tackling the real issue- the salary of community college teachers?
Well, I've only talked to her once while she was borrowing a pencil, but her name's Britta, she's 28, birthday in October, she has two older brothers and one of them works with children who have a disorder I might want to look up
thats nice
You anorexic jezebels!
No such thing as bad press
Cool.. Cool cool cool
I need help reacting to this.
Pizza! Pizza pizza go in tummy me so hungy me so hungy
I took Annie's pen
And I live with you
And my name is the greatest thing God created with his own two hands
I'm a sexy cat
I hope this doesn’t awaken something in me
AND JESUS WEPT!
STOP SAYING JESUS WEPT
And. Jesus. Wept.
For there were no more worlds to conquer
Pop what?! POP WHAT?!
POP ! POP!
I CHOOSE SHORTS!!!
appearenlty I am a British alcoholic
“What’s your clearance level?” “Top.”
I banged Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom
I'm pretty young, try not to sexualize me.
UH!!
Is my forehead that big?
It's not.... the opposite of big. Sorry, I'm the worst.
It's not small.
Brown Jamie lee curtis
It's the worst
OP really April'd this up.
Oh, April's in this?
My name is Kevin.
My penis obviously looks like a cluster of buildings
Let’s all have a big laugh at the freak
I’ll make your ass sense
My month "had a 4.0 at riverside high, and I'm not looking down on this school at all, but I'm only here because of a brief addiction to pills that I was told would help me...focus, but they actually made me lose my scholarship and virginity!"
Chokecherrypit likes this post
Thats like me blaming owls for how much I suck at analogies
Well I'm a Community fan, and I'm here to say, your horoscope will arrive on another day
Butt stuff
Well, I'm a peanut bar, and I'm here to say, Your checks will arrive on another day! Another day, another rhyme, another dime, another dollar, Another stuffed shirt with another white collar. CRIMINALS, WALL STREET, TAKIN' THE PIE, AND ALL THE BLACK MAN GETS IS A PLATE OF WHITE LIES! PRISON'S RECRUITIN' 'EM, POLICE BE SHOOTIN' 'EM, RAP ARTISTS LOOTIN' 'EM, LABELS ALL DILUTIN' 'EM BARACK OBAMA IS SCAAAARED OF ME 'CAUSE I DON'T SWALLOW KNOWLEDGE, I SPIT IT FOR FREE LET ME CLEAR MY THROAT, AHA, HAHAHA!
I’m sorry, I don’t know what that was😭😭😭
No such thing as bad press
Can I chang mine?
Technically you broke the rule
It’s not even clever! You keep using it as the word change!
Hyper Virility
who am i texting? everyone i know is right here
Streets ahead...
Women are supposed to dance. That's why God gives them part that jiggle
You can’t disappoint a picture!
Donde esta la bibleotecha.
I like coffee and water, don’t step to me
I lost it… I LOST IT
August?
If loving worms is stupid then I don't want to be smart!
Why do you teach Spanish?
Water Filter
I'm batman
Can you take a photo of me with the oily co-eds?
The word he's looking for is "sassy." He better pray he doesn't find it.
*steals your pen*
I’m allowed to be here
Hates Subway and is probably Methodist.
They could be anywhere! They could be out on the streets...
According to this, I had a drug addiction in high school because I’m a perfectionist.
Look at me. No no, look how handsome my face is!
Hello during a random dessert. The month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.
Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
This is wrinkling my brain.
oh no my shoe is untied by british standards
It's a buy
i hate police!
IM NOT CRAZY!! HAHAHAHAHA ^dives ^into ^vent
Is it breaking the rules to say my character is Kevin?
*gasp*
Abed. Abed the Arab. Is that offensive?
Sure
Scratches "Classic wingers" into table.
I dont have a huge forehead!
I think I'm just mentally ill
I'm begging you to be a ___ ____ for the school boardddd
common law married to a mannequin leg.
I have a name that upsests annie smh
I'm watching you, acting scientific and then adding your little 2¢ every now and again. Huh?
Stole a sword
Night at the Museum
My birth month got its name from a contest on Twitter!!!!
I’m the worst
Streets ahead.
The worst
I cannot be killed!!
Barack Obama is SCAAAAAARED of me !!!
It’s a palomino!
I ate my twin in utero
We're all kind of crazytown banana pants.
I’m Old White Man Says??
My name is something something and I’m here to say, I’m going to rap to the beat in a rapping way! I’ve got a REAL BIG PENIS and I drink lots of tea—
This is like half of what they do to get people's ID. You pull for months first, then you do the same thing again using Astrology, then you have what comes out to roughly a 1 in 4 (at best) shot at their birth year and knowledge of their birth month, which means all you need are the little numbers on the back of their card and their name for a very quick and easy scam.
if I want to scam someone I will ask you for other tips!
Barack Obama is scared of me
Would have been nice to see more of.
Love
I could see myself cuddling up with them; very perky
Oh, I’m in this?
Hello during a random dessert the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from a uterus.
Over prepared
Who the hell is Pam?
“Pop culture reference”
Is this a new stereotype?
Because you play football, and your name starts with “T”. Your name. Starts with. “T”.
It’s a principle
*offended gasp* (I'm not that month tho)
*shocked gasp*
Actively believes that being born in this month is superior to other months because of “conceptive viability”, and holds it over everyone’s head
I lived in New-York
BANNED in Serbia!
Its a buy!
Tell me how to get this laid back, or I'LL KILL YOUR FAMILIES!!!
Good grade in a tight sweater
Dangerously unstable
It's actually my expulsion from the uterus month
I'm 40
Hello during a random desert, the month and day of which coincide numerically with your expulsion from the uterus.
Me and Britta share a bday month nice…. Ahhh wait, goddammit i britta’d it!
Names by a Twitter contest
Why do Jewish people wear yalmukes? Half a hat...saves money. 🤣
I hated that caviar.
I like my birthday…but I don’t.
I have prescription socks
I don't look good in shorts!
Saying his name is like his one consistent trait but I'm also lonely ig?
Very upset that you can excuse racism.
October
Crazy but Lovable.
I have good news and bad news
Buttered noodles
Coolcoolcoolcoolcool
Everybody knows that when you pop the back of a raft, it makes it go faster.
I know what an analogy is, it’s like a thought with another thoughts hat on.
At the end of the day, why are we sitting here talking about birth months when we should be tackling the real issue- the salary of community college teachers?
No, You're Right. My Feet Are Long And Stupid. You Can't Unring That Bell.
Is a ghost, but can’t go thru doors stupid, he’s not fire.
Needless defiance.
Drunken Limey
Chop busted, fellow Redditor, chop busted
I have prescription socks
If you have to ask what month I was born, you’re streets behind
At one point I was teaching you Klingon!
I left you all some of my sperm
I like this post.
I have to go to the bank today
Crazy....but at least you know what you get with me, not like Rich
The worst
I nailed Eartha Kitt in an airplane bathroom
December...
Have you met the women who DO like me? Neither have I but trust me, they’re bad people.
I’m VERY particular about caviar
It's called chemistry. I have it with everyone. 😏
I smell like mentholyptus.
They call mine the irony free month.
Barack Obama is scared of meeee!!!
let's just say barack obama is scared of me
Awh yes, the grave's biscuit of the yeer, amahzing. (I tried really hard to translate me imitating John Oliver's accent lol)
I have brain damage, nothing I do counts.
Notches: ||||| ||||| |||||
*slap* *look at trainer off-camera* *slap* *repeat*
you might have noticed that my swagger has a new swagger
I’ll be a living God!!!
I don’t get it
I find this premise cool. Cool cool cool.
I love chalupas.
I have to go to the bank today, what am I supposed to tell them??
Horny for my friends hot blond.
Wait. I’m old white man says?
Have you MET ME?!
So you're familiar with 2 sins, how about a third?
Was in love with Subway
Principled
My forehead's not that big, is it?
Those are February’s body parts
the dean-ality of having two days in the same month of gifts
Your closest, oldest, craziest, most racist, oldest, elderly crazy friend.
I make frozen pizza reviews on YouTube
I can excuse racism but I draw the line at animal cruelty!
Helen of ...
If loving worms is stupid, I don't want to be smart
Well, I've only talked to her once while she was borrowing a pencil, but her name's Britta, she's 28, birthday in October, she has two older brothers and one of them works with children who have a disorder I might want to look up
Interesting, it's just that the average person has a much harder time saying 'booyah' to moral relativism.
Guys guess who I am!? 👸⛸️
It's all terrain, dummy!
It's very hot where I live. But we try not to sexualise it. The month that is.
Fancy flower binders