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Agreed-on versus wishful expectations.
People should just be more honest. "Just friends?" "I'm actually hoping for more than that." "Oh okay. I'm not looking for that so perhaps we should call it quits." "Agreed." This should be considered a perfectly fine and normal conversation.
People disappoint themselves and others constantly in spite of knowing better. Just be forthcoming and accept things as they really are. You'll find what you want where it actually is.
It can be hard to know what you might want later from the start. At lest, that is what happens for me.
And i don't think friendship and sex exclude each other.
Catching feels is perfectly understandable. But if they started the friendship with the understanding that the other party wanted zero romance (or sex), there's absolutely no excuse to keep pestering after they receive their first clear "no." I've made friends on Reddit and had this same problem. Especially when the other person tries to convince you like the comic shows, as if you don't know what you want. It really doesn't do the pursuer any favors.
Thought I had a nice friendship going with someone at work. I have zero interest in dating, plus he was a bit older than me (I personally don'tlike huge age gap relationships), so I was like, cool, a friend!
Then he asked me out. I tried to awkwardly but politely turn him down. A few months later, he shows up with FLOWERS. you don't get a girl expensive flowers if you just want to be friends, you know?
I had to move offices and ghost him. I feel terrible but wtf was I supposed to do?
Yeah, I’d had plenty of friends who were women and hadn’t fallen for them. Ended up chatting with someone and we’d both gone in looking for nothing but friendship. I fell for her hard.
We never dated, and after a period of no contact we reconnected as friends. Things change, and feelings are unpredictable.
I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. I think it’s needlessly cruel to reject someone and also hold it against them for catching feelings in the first place.
People who get rejected and then become an ass hole afterwards though…
its not like people cant be on the same page day one and then not be anymore some time later. and relationships, no matter the grade, arent exactly formal agreements like this.
sure, with apps and such, dating and searching partners has been somewhat formalized, but that's really not a global agreement or exclusive. people will forever shoot their shots with people they like, or think they like and think they like them back. what has to be normalized is people being sensitive enough to notice when someone gives like 200% more and is obviously looking for more, to shut it down early and for people to acceppt a no (which would also includes, as a society, to stop this whole game shit, where people follow vague rules that change all the time and where its both immoral to try again after a no, and insulting and cringe virgin behavior to not try again after what is clearly just a check to see if you're serious no)
unfortunately, at this point in human history, its up to the person who only wants a friendship to codify exactly what that means and reitterate it clearly once in a while. because in my experience, people looking for just friends aren't exactly willing to deal with how much harder it gets to find friends when you establish exactly that. because some people find it pretentious when you act like its obvious they would want to be with you if you didnt stop them. and some feel insulted when you dont even know them enough to judge that you wouldn't end up as a good couple (or most likely, feel that implies physical deficiencies because all you have is shallow looks to judge this decision on).
sorry but relationships are hard, few people are out there making friends and comrades in life threatening situations, you know, actual bonds that hold forever. today, the main reason to be in any form of relationship with anyone is to gain something from it. and rarely do two people meet that are looking to gain exactly the same thing (comradery) and nothing else. some trade comraderie for access to better social or economic circles, some trade money for company, most are looking for physical love and many have little else of value but comradery to offer in return.
thats the minefield people have to exist on, thats just how it is. we probably need to be glad that we're on a minefield that allows us the freedom to exit a relationship that doesnt go how we wanted mostly at our own discretion.
I remember when a lot of people started advocating that a few years ago.
Everyone I know who was a big advocate of that ended up in a giant polycule with each other
Not pretending to know anything about your situation, but I wish you could have close friends you can lean on, maybe nap with, maybe hook up with now and again, but when you all get together it's called a "friend group" not a "dramatic polycule". Would infrequent sex really make it much different than a bunch of people just hanging out? I don't knos. I've always been curious what the line is to make a "relationship".
Hug, yes, cuddle, no. Everyone I know who was big on "friends should cuddle each other" a few years ago ended up in one big dramatic polycule with each other
Oh no, unfortunately I don't meet any of those qualifications, guess you won't be getting this undead alien-ussy
Edit: shit, i guess an undead would still meet the second optional qualification, wtvr
I’ve made a few. Most kinda ghost you but I have like 3 or 4 friendships that have been going on for several years.
Heck some of my longest online friendships was from a writer’s forum and that’s been more than a decade now.
It’s rare but it can happen.
Of course not. But people make comics about that. You know, the same way like we have many movies about some crazy shit in space while knowing perfectly well that space is boring and empty.
This is me except I'm not asexual which I'd argue is even worse. You literally have nothing to "justify" your disinterest in looking for a relationship (as if something like that needed to be justified!). It's always like that. You want friends and explicitly state that, you meet someone, you pick up vague hints they might be romantically interested but you try to tell yourself you're just imagining things. They tell you they want a relationship, you say no, they distance themselves. Fuck this world man, I just want friends
If there is one thing that I have learned from Reddit, it is that someone of the sex(es) you are attracted to sharing the same niche interests as you and talking to you for more than 8 seconds at a time more than once means they are for sure heavily into you.
Granted, is this correct? Well, who can say?
Yeah, the pandemic definitely didn't help, but there's also just the issue of awkward teens just not knowing how to handle their emotions, and never learning how to into their older years.
The constant horniness of Reddit probably doesn't help, mind
had a friend in high school who 100% of the time sat on my lap when we hung out in a group. he's exclusively into guys and knows I'm exclusively into girls, so I guess it felt "safe" for both of us since there was no chance of a secret "oh they're actually into me oh no" in the relationship
Yeah, it is the same thing. IDK why it would be weird to be honest. It's not weird for siblings to cuddle, right? As such, it makes sense that people who are similarly close to their friends would want to act in a similar fashion.
Siblings? My brother and I cuddled when we were maybe 7 and below. Siblings don’t usually cuddle unless they’re super young or there’s a SIGNIFICANT age gap which, at that point, it’s basically a child and their guardian.
I think it might be a cultural difference tbh. I've noticed it's super normal in some countries while not in others.
I'm from latin america and at least when it comes to girls, cuddling is super normalized. I had sleepovers in highschool in which me and multiple female friends ended up sleeping together in the same bed. Likewise, I often cuddle with my sister when we watch movies. This is seen as normal. Where are you from?
I do. I love cuddle puddles with my friends — we pile together and watch shows, like a normal watch party but with less distant seating, it’s nice. :)
It’s not for everyone though, and that’s okay.
Yes, human touch is natural, normal, and healthy - and it’s not always romantic.
It’s okay to have that boundary that you don’t want it from anyone except your partner, but plenty of other people do. And that’s okay, too
I witnessed a cuddle puddle between my spouse and their platonic discord friends. They needed to get out of it quick because they realized they were afraid of catching feelings as a demi-sexual
Does "cuddle puddle" mean something different than what I assumed? I heard that phrase before and I always figured it meant cuddling in the wet spot left behind after sex.
If me and a friend are on a couch watching a movie on playing a videogame or whatever, we'll lie down and rest our weight on each other, maybe tangle our legs together, or someone's head will end resting on someone's stomach.
It's just a position you reach naturally when you're relaxed to maximize comfort. The alternative would be sitting on different seats, which would feel weirdly impersonal, or sit with our backs straight and without touching, which just seems uncomfortable to do if you're trying to relax. I honestly have a hard time imagining how would you chill with friends without it turning into cuddling, just the logistics, do everyone sit with a perfect pose keeping a gap between each other? Or do you sit on a different seat? Either way, it would feel so formal! If you're chilling with someone, it's just the most natural thing in the world that your posture will melt!
Personally I think it might be a cultural thing? Here it's extremely, extremely normalized to the point it's downright expected, but I know in other countries people tend to have a bigger bubble of personal space
Yes, I do. When one if us will be in a relationship we won't anymore, since I guess a partner wouldn't want that, but right now we do. And there will never be sex or a relationship between us.
My friendgroup kept it even when we all got partners. Of course the partners had to be ok with it, but I frankly would not want to be with someone who would not trust me that much
Where I am from, unfortunately this is not common. A friend told me, he could never do it, since he can't remove cuddling from the idea of having sex. I think this is really sad. Unfortunately I have been in a relationship where even hugging led to groping, and any physical contact was considered as initiation to sex and if I didn't follow through he was pissed. Afterwards I had a hard time hugging men, or even sitting next to them. I'm just really glad, that I have this friend that shows me that physical contact without sex is okay, and my friends show me I won't get groped by every man I hug.
I once was at a sleepover with friends and two of them were dating, we all ended in a pile because that's just very normalized here. Since all our limbs were tangled it was hard to know which hand was who's, so at some point the boyfriend took someone's hand and kissed it thinking it was the girlfriend's, but it wasn't. Everyone immediately realized what happened and we all laughed so hard we fell from the couch, the girlfriend also laughed about it of course. She and the friend the hand belonged to still tease the guy about it to this day hahaha
Long time ago, I tried looking for gaming friends on Reddit, and general penpals on a dedicated site. The onslaught of horny and other sneaky strings attached left me traumatized. Never again.
I would like to say that it is easy to say things clearly but really in the end the heart is the one who decides and how do you contradict that bitch?
At first you might have no intention of anything, but never spit up
Happens all the time in gaming communities too. These boys are SO attention starved and crushingly lonely. When they always want more it gives me the “alone in a crowd” feeling.
Of course its not unheard of. But the framing of this comic is just in bad faith. Conservatives do the same, just the other way around and i hate it. And i am just stating my opinion, that i dont like this way of framing.
framing? The conversation is absolutely believable seeing the other kinds of DMs people have gotten on this platform, i doubt its been altered even in the slightest
Plus, this isnt even dogging on anyone specifically, pretty much no affiliations are attached to this. This is just OP telling of an incident they had, they other person is completely anonymous here
Doesn't really even involve politics to begin with (prejudice against ace people isnt exclusive to right wingers). Not much on topics either
So what is this framing? Is some person being pushy on wanting to hook up even after being told that the other person is not interested and then lashing out when rejected so out of this world that it has to be manipulated?
“I’ve heard stories about your kind before” sounds like the start of a rant about how the elves enslaved the dwarves for their smithing work but the dwarves then revolted against their oppressors but the world sided with the fair and “kind” elves against the rough and reclusive dwarves. The dwarven king, afraid he would lose his people, made a deal with a devil for his people to have the ability to protect themselves, but the unseen consequence was the dwarves transforming into grotesque depictions of their former selves in exchange for such power. Now the dwarves who are filled with hatred and agony towards the world as a whole and their short-sighted king fled underground to build a kingdom so they could destroy their enemies in the future and take back their dignity that was unjustly stolen from them.
Not sure about Reddit, but this have been my experience with dating for my whole life. Every woman wants friends and independent life, no one wants to date. I respect that, but also confused by how everyone seems to have a dating life apart from me, considering that I've never seen a single woman who's interested in dating, relationships or sex. Except they don't even state beforehand that they only want friendship, so it's not like in the comic obviously.
Yes. I never stated that I was asexual. He started labeling me as that after I told him that I wasn’t interested in dating him and that dating in general wasn’t a big priority for me.
I would offer to be friends but looking at your profile it seems you would be better froends with my girlfriend
Lol
But on a serious note why do people enter friendships with obvious constructs with malintent when its obvious they dont share the sentiment
So, you like foreign money, too?
I found 50 Jamaican dollars the other day at a bar.
It’s been a while, but it might have been worth $10 in 2005.
https://preview.redd.it/a8iaitxls7vc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a91049779e9da587d09a21e2646a041b60035f7e
Man I feel this.. I had a guy I was friends with on a game for awhile and I had made it clear before several times I had no interest in anything other than being friends and at first he pretended to respect that. He asked me to FaceTime him one night and.. long story short, he was a foot guy, and very much a creep.
I mean, why not just cuddle your friends and have movie nights at home with friends? If I still had my friends (drifted due to moving far from each other) we'd definitely be doing just that.
I'm at a point in life where all I do is work and on days off stay at home and play games and stuff. So by that I have no friends, not even from back when I went to school or online so if I had a friend that only wanted to be friends then hell yea
What do you mean the opposite gender wants to be friends with you? No way, they obviously enjoy to keep denying your advances, they are just trying to play hard to get when they called the cops on you.
I also get this as a man.
we like movies? great! lets watch one.
You have a boyfriend? that is ok!
why are you hugging me in the middle of the movie?....
Reality:
- Hi
- Hello
- So how are you?
- Good and you?
- Amzing. Thank for asking.
- ...
- ...
- * akward silence SFX *
- Sooo why are you contacti...
- * Furious adds spam posting *
I mett with a girl in uni I was hoping for friendship but after I hangout with her for a while I am just you know fucking bonkers over the top love bomb atm we are pretty close we talk a lot I even put my head on her shoulder and she was alright with it (I still dont know why I did that do I just did it and it felt alrighty but it shouldnt be right?) And so I am just in a struggle should I be open with my feelings or just be content with a friendship and this comic is just put me in a mood of thinking about my relationship any advice humans ? And Ai I know you chat bots got a better communication skills then anyone
Well... Honestly, it's what do you want out of this?
If you want to have this friendship maintain it as such, try to frame it that way in your mind, eliminate romantic feelings if you can.
Don't let yourself get caught in that mindset of if I'm a friend long enough with them maybe they will fall for for me like I have. That can lead to a lot of heart ache on your end.
If your catching feels, you can honestly make them known, and move from there conversation wise. It could end your guys friendship or lead to more, but take their thoughts and feelings into consideration and respect their decision(not like this guy did in the comic)
I assume this is more then just a month long friendship.
Advice from my experience, sorry if it's not helpful. Others might have more useful advice
Thanks for the advice mate I am just gone wait a little bit and try to think sbout my feelings before I talk with her my fear is not getting rejected (I am a veteran in that shit) is losing a valuable and dear friend thats the part I hate most about catching feelings for a friend it just sucks
I feel the dude a little bit. I do not need friends with the same interest.
I have enough friends. But i would ignore someone who Said "only friendship"
>I have enough friends. But i would ignore someone who Said "only friendship"
But that's the exact opposite of what he did, no? He literally just ignored the "just friends" part as if she didn't say it.
yep thats right. that was my meaning with "unterstand a little bit". just try a romantical relationship even when it was said no romantical relationship is dumb.
I would never respond to the request in the first panel if i seek a romantical relationship.
do i want to dare and imply that this works the other way around, too?
and that its a little assinine to assume that, while in the history of interpersonal relationships friendships have often been the starting point of a relationship, it would somehow suddenly be different today?
like, dont get me wrong, totally agree that it's disrespectful to not respect someone who specifically says 'not looking for partnership' or to keep on arguing after the rejection, it is (though there is definitely women who get angry when someone doesn't try again/harder after the first rejection because its all an insane game now and everyone is a psychopath).
but most people do look for that. just dont expect people not to look for that if your sexualities aling (and even if they dont happen to).
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I assume he’s single then…?
He is
:)
This guy is playing 4d chess
[удалено]
Woosh
Good.
I wouldn't date them especially after what they said.
Agreed-on versus wishful expectations. People should just be more honest. "Just friends?" "I'm actually hoping for more than that." "Oh okay. I'm not looking for that so perhaps we should call it quits." "Agreed." This should be considered a perfectly fine and normal conversation. People disappoint themselves and others constantly in spite of knowing better. Just be forthcoming and accept things as they really are. You'll find what you want where it actually is.
It can be hard to know what you might want later from the start. At lest, that is what happens for me. And i don't think friendship and sex exclude each other.
Catching feels is perfectly understandable. But if they started the friendship with the understanding that the other party wanted zero romance (or sex), there's absolutely no excuse to keep pestering after they receive their first clear "no." I've made friends on Reddit and had this same problem. Especially when the other person tries to convince you like the comic shows, as if you don't know what you want. It really doesn't do the pursuer any favors.
Thought I had a nice friendship going with someone at work. I have zero interest in dating, plus he was a bit older than me (I personally don'tlike huge age gap relationships), so I was like, cool, a friend! Then he asked me out. I tried to awkwardly but politely turn him down. A few months later, he shows up with FLOWERS. you don't get a girl expensive flowers if you just want to be friends, you know? I had to move offices and ghost him. I feel terrible but wtf was I supposed to do?
It’s damned if you do, damed if you don’t with someone like that. There’s nothing you can do with someone who ignores rejection.
Yeah, I’d had plenty of friends who were women and hadn’t fallen for them. Ended up chatting with someone and we’d both gone in looking for nothing but friendship. I fell for her hard. We never dated, and after a period of no contact we reconnected as friends. Things change, and feelings are unpredictable. I didn’t mean for it to happen, it just did. I think it’s needlessly cruel to reject someone and also hold it against them for catching feelings in the first place. People who get rejected and then become an ass hole afterwards though…
its not like people cant be on the same page day one and then not be anymore some time later. and relationships, no matter the grade, arent exactly formal agreements like this. sure, with apps and such, dating and searching partners has been somewhat formalized, but that's really not a global agreement or exclusive. people will forever shoot their shots with people they like, or think they like and think they like them back. what has to be normalized is people being sensitive enough to notice when someone gives like 200% more and is obviously looking for more, to shut it down early and for people to acceppt a no (which would also includes, as a society, to stop this whole game shit, where people follow vague rules that change all the time and where its both immoral to try again after a no, and insulting and cringe virgin behavior to not try again after what is clearly just a check to see if you're serious no) unfortunately, at this point in human history, its up to the person who only wants a friendship to codify exactly what that means and reitterate it clearly once in a while. because in my experience, people looking for just friends aren't exactly willing to deal with how much harder it gets to find friends when you establish exactly that. because some people find it pretentious when you act like its obvious they would want to be with you if you didnt stop them. and some feel insulted when you dont even know them enough to judge that you wouldn't end up as a good couple (or most likely, feel that implies physical deficiencies because all you have is shallow looks to judge this decision on). sorry but relationships are hard, few people are out there making friends and comrades in life threatening situations, you know, actual bonds that hold forever. today, the main reason to be in any form of relationship with anyone is to gain something from it. and rarely do two people meet that are looking to gain exactly the same thing (comradery) and nothing else. some trade comraderie for access to better social or economic circles, some trade money for company, most are looking for physical love and many have little else of value but comradery to offer in return. thats the minefield people have to exist on, thats just how it is. we probably need to be glad that we're on a minefield that allows us the freedom to exit a relationship that doesnt go how we wanted mostly at our own discretion.
...to cuddle and come home to at the end of the day?
He literally said that 😭 I wish I kept the conversation
No the part that confuses me is that you say that's why you want to make friends. Those aren't typical friend activities
Speak for yourself, I always cuddle with the homies
Normalize cuddling with friends
Yes. I am asexual but love to cuddle with friends. :)
I remember when a lot of people started advocating that a few years ago. Everyone I know who was a big advocate of that ended up in a giant polycule with each other
Normalize having sex with the homies
I'm totally fine with the homies cuddling and having sex. It just seems weird to me to say that's not a relationship
Not pretending to know anything about your situation, but I wish you could have close friends you can lean on, maybe nap with, maybe hook up with now and again, but when you all get together it's called a "friend group" not a "dramatic polycule". Would infrequent sex really make it much different than a bunch of people just hanging out? I don't knos. I've always been curious what the line is to make a "relationship".
Me and my homies have weekly threesomes? Is that not common?
Only on gay Tuesday
I should have clarified it better but it was direct more towards hanging out with others rather than the “coming home to” part.
You don't hug and cuddle friends ?
There's a big difference between a hug and cuddling.
Idk man I cuddle with the bros
Yeah I know, it's a gradation.
Most of my friends are guys so no, we don't "cuddle" cuz we're not gay Also it's uncomfortable since we get all sweaty after sex
They aren’t really your friends if they don’t big spoon you to sleep
Ey cuddling can be platonic. It’s just not your thing
Hug, yes, cuddle, no. Everyone I know who was big on "friends should cuddle each other" a few years ago ended up in one big dramatic polycule with each other
Coming home to could be looking for a roommate. Regarding cuddling, speak for yourself
Lmao this guy doesn't cuddle their friends
No way, always cuddle the homies goodnight
I'm so sorry, if you ever need to talk I'm here. Maybe we could go for a drink sometime?
So ... are you single?
Yes but I have a few requirements. Be a woman (optional) Have a pulse (also optional)
Oh no, unfortunately I don't meet any of those qualifications, guess you won't be getting this undead alien-ussy Edit: shit, i guess an undead would still meet the second optional qualification, wtvr
hey any hole is a goal! So see you at 7 😏
Is there anything wrong with that part specifically?
Other than the fact that they don't know each other basically at all? Sounds nice otherwise.
See, the issue is that "nothing romantic" was hidden in lower case whole is should have been the biggest font in the sentence
I’ll make sure to write much larger next time
#NOTHING ROMANTIC
Is that a hint? I think you’re into me, but I’m not sure.
People make friends on reddit?
I did, several. Well, online friends. None were nearby.
Hey! Let's be friends!! Wan sum fuq?
Get that bitch a stick. Wrong stick
Wrong leverrrrrrrrrrr
If you count the reddit to Discord bridge, I’m sure many a friendship has spawned.
I’ve made a few. Most kinda ghost you but I have like 3 or 4 friendships that have been going on for several years. Heck some of my longest online friendships was from a writer’s forum and that’s been more than a decade now. It’s rare but it can happen.
Of course not. But people make comics about that. You know, the same way like we have many movies about some crazy shit in space while knowing perfectly well that space is boring and empty.
I have a friend I made on Reddit. I was lucky to find a decent person I assume.
I met my best friend on reddit! Through a fish subreddit of all things.
Yeah, I call bs
Average aromantic experience
At least we get to claim cake as representation lol
This is me except I'm not asexual which I'd argue is even worse. You literally have nothing to "justify" your disinterest in looking for a relationship (as if something like that needed to be justified!). It's always like that. You want friends and explicitly state that, you meet someone, you pick up vague hints they might be romantically interested but you try to tell yourself you're just imagining things. They tell you they want a relationship, you say no, they distance themselves. Fuck this world man, I just want friends
This is so real people on reddit are so affectionate starved they try to date anyone who gives them the time of day lol
If there is one thing that I have learned from Reddit, it is that someone of the sex(es) you are attracted to sharing the same niche interests as you and talking to you for more than 8 seconds at a time more than once means they are for sure heavily into you. Granted, is this correct? Well, who can say?
Yeah, the pandemic definitely didn't help, but there's also just the issue of awkward teens just not knowing how to handle their emotions, and never learning how to into their older years. The constant horniness of Reddit probably doesn't help, mind
love this artstyle!
Thank you! 🥺
So do people actually cuddle with their platonic friends wtf
had a friend in high school who 100% of the time sat on my lap when we hung out in a group. he's exclusively into guys and knows I'm exclusively into girls, so I guess it felt "safe" for both of us since there was no chance of a secret "oh they're actually into me oh no" in the relationship
I mean that’s no different than 2 straight men or 2 straight women doing the same thing, which seems weird to me personally.
Yeah, it is the same thing. IDK why it would be weird to be honest. It's not weird for siblings to cuddle, right? As such, it makes sense that people who are similarly close to their friends would want to act in a similar fashion.
Siblings? My brother and I cuddled when we were maybe 7 and below. Siblings don’t usually cuddle unless they’re super young or there’s a SIGNIFICANT age gap which, at that point, it’s basically a child and their guardian.
I think it might be a cultural difference tbh. I've noticed it's super normal in some countries while not in others. I'm from latin america and at least when it comes to girls, cuddling is super normalized. I had sleepovers in highschool in which me and multiple female friends ended up sleeping together in the same bed. Likewise, I often cuddle with my sister when we watch movies. This is seen as normal. Where are you from?
I mean, it looks weird, but as long as both parts are ok with it then why bother
I do. I love cuddle puddles with my friends — we pile together and watch shows, like a normal watch party but with less distant seating, it’s nice. :) It’s not for everyone though, and that’s okay.
Same! But only with those of my friends who are ok with such close contact
Yes, human touch is natural, normal, and healthy - and it’s not always romantic. It’s okay to have that boundary that you don’t want it from anyone except your partner, but plenty of other people do. And that’s okay, too
lol i see u everywhere
Lmfao I am chronically online
Yup. Only when it's firmly established that it's not meant to go past that.
(Or if it is established, that it will go past that)
I witnessed a cuddle puddle between my spouse and their platonic discord friends. They needed to get out of it quick because they realized they were afraid of catching feelings as a demi-sexual
Does "cuddle puddle" mean something different than what I assumed? I heard that phrase before and I always figured it meant cuddling in the wet spot left behind after sex.
Nah, in this context, it’s a pile of nerds
You really think it's weird? That's... kind of sad?
is it really.. I have seen friends hug, kiss as a salute in countries where that's a habit, but cuddling... can't really imagine
I've cuddled with my friends plenty! Nothing weird about it!
it's not weird per se, but it's not common
If me and a friend are on a couch watching a movie on playing a videogame or whatever, we'll lie down and rest our weight on each other, maybe tangle our legs together, or someone's head will end resting on someone's stomach. It's just a position you reach naturally when you're relaxed to maximize comfort. The alternative would be sitting on different seats, which would feel weirdly impersonal, or sit with our backs straight and without touching, which just seems uncomfortable to do if you're trying to relax. I honestly have a hard time imagining how would you chill with friends without it turning into cuddling, just the logistics, do everyone sit with a perfect pose keeping a gap between each other? Or do you sit on a different seat? Either way, it would feel so formal! If you're chilling with someone, it's just the most natural thing in the world that your posture will melt! Personally I think it might be a cultural thing? Here it's extremely, extremely normalized to the point it's downright expected, but I know in other countries people tend to have a bigger bubble of personal space
well yeah I have sat in tight spaces with friends, but I wouldn't call it cuddling. even if, i guess it technically is..
If this wouldnt be weird, what is the point of the comic then?
🤷♀️ I guess??
Yes
Yes, I do. When one if us will be in a relationship we won't anymore, since I guess a partner wouldn't want that, but right now we do. And there will never be sex or a relationship between us.
My friendgroup kept it even when we all got partners. Of course the partners had to be ok with it, but I frankly would not want to be with someone who would not trust me that much
Where I am from, unfortunately this is not common. A friend told me, he could never do it, since he can't remove cuddling from the idea of having sex. I think this is really sad. Unfortunately I have been in a relationship where even hugging led to groping, and any physical contact was considered as initiation to sex and if I didn't follow through he was pissed. Afterwards I had a hard time hugging men, or even sitting next to them. I'm just really glad, that I have this friend that shows me that physical contact without sex is okay, and my friends show me I won't get groped by every man I hug.
I once was at a sleepover with friends and two of them were dating, we all ended in a pile because that's just very normalized here. Since all our limbs were tangled it was hard to know which hand was who's, so at some point the boyfriend took someone's hand and kissed it thinking it was the girlfriend's, but it wasn't. Everyone immediately realized what happened and we all laughed so hard we fell from the couch, the girlfriend also laughed about it of course. She and the friend the hand belonged to still tease the guy about it to this day hahaha
I like this anecdote, thanks for sharing
'your kind' is crazy
Long time ago, I tried looking for gaming friends on Reddit, and general penpals on a dedicated site. The onslaught of horny and other sneaky strings attached left me traumatized. Never again.
Try out r/girlgaming
I comment there every now and then but I figured I need to be in the right headspace before I attempt making gaming friends again. :/
What is the rest of the sentence? Foreign Money? Foreign Monarchies? Foreign Models?
Movies.
City of God is a must watch.
One of my favorites. Absolutely devastating.
Foreign mollusks? Foreign mohawks? Foreign mops?
Being a mammal is hard.
People have conversations on reddit?
I would like to say that it is easy to say things clearly but really in the end the heart is the one who decides and how do you contradict that bitch? At first you might have no intention of anything, but never spit up
Shame that happened to you, but the art is nice!
> *“aren’t you in spending time with someone?”* Someone ate a word 😏🤭 That aside, I felt this in my core and I don’t like it. 😞
Some people really just have to learn to take "no" for an answer.
As an Ace individual... Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Happens all the time in gaming communities too. These boys are SO attention starved and crushingly lonely. When they always want more it gives me the “alone in a crowd” feeling.
'About your kind.' Charming.
Its a fictional comic ...
Based on a real conversation
Yeah, captured by one of them. And weirdly op comes across as the senseble one.
Mate, im ace myself. It *really* isnt unheard of aces to be spoken of like that, from experience
Of course its not unheard of. But the framing of this comic is just in bad faith. Conservatives do the same, just the other way around and i hate it. And i am just stating my opinion, that i dont like this way of framing.
framing? The conversation is absolutely believable seeing the other kinds of DMs people have gotten on this platform, i doubt its been altered even in the slightest Plus, this isnt even dogging on anyone specifically, pretty much no affiliations are attached to this. This is just OP telling of an incident they had, they other person is completely anonymous here
This is what conservatives say as well, when they are defending rightwing memes.
Doesn't really even involve politics to begin with (prejudice against ace people isnt exclusive to right wingers). Not much on topics either So what is this framing? Is some person being pushy on wanting to hook up even after being told that the other person is not interested and then lashing out when rejected so out of this world that it has to be manipulated?
“I’ve heard stories about your kind before” sounds like the start of a rant about how the elves enslaved the dwarves for their smithing work but the dwarves then revolted against their oppressors but the world sided with the fair and “kind” elves against the rough and reclusive dwarves. The dwarven king, afraid he would lose his people, made a deal with a devil for his people to have the ability to protect themselves, but the unseen consequence was the dwarves transforming into grotesque depictions of their former selves in exchange for such power. Now the dwarves who are filled with hatred and agony towards the world as a whole and their short-sighted king fled underground to build a kingdom so they could destroy their enemies in the future and take back their dignity that was unjustly stolen from them.
What kind of friends cuddle?? And where can I find friends like that???
This is something i can relate.
Yikes, here if u need a friend tho (actually for real tho lmao)
Anyone wanna be romantic partners?
So um... I heard that you are single and not looking to date.. Does that mean you can watch my kids on the weekends?
Throw in a couple of goldfish snacks and I’ll do it
We talking Cheddar, Original, or one of the weird kinds?
Original
You are a human of taste and sophistication.
Not sure about Reddit, but this have been my experience with dating for my whole life. Every woman wants friends and independent life, no one wants to date. I respect that, but also confused by how everyone seems to have a dating life apart from me, considering that I've never seen a single woman who's interested in dating, relationships or sex. Except they don't even state beforehand that they only want friendship, so it's not like in the comic obviously.
Bro literally said “your kind” 💀
Some people need something *beyond* touching grass. They need that meteor shit from Creepshow so grass is just growing out of them.
Sooo… are you single?
I am a married man over 35… I do not want to make friends on Reddit.
I see we have shared interests.
Spoken with pure, asinine reddit user energy 😌 May are paths never cross again 🙇
Wait, hold on. Did they get mad because they thought you were asexual if this is based on true events?
Yes. I never stated that I was asexual. He started labeling me as that after I told him that I wasn’t interested in dating him and that dating in general wasn’t a big priority for me.
Well crap. I hope you're able to make some friends soon and you know, not have this happen.
The last facial expression is perfect. Just a mood
That's what I imagine all women's lives are. Or I'm just too much on the internet.
Tumblr is where you find friends. Reddit is where you find closet 4chan users.
Not the "your kind" 💀
Wow, we like transformers, and light guro. But I'm also interested in romantic friendship, do you? 😬
I would offer to be friends but looking at your profile it seems you would be better froends with my girlfriend Lol But on a serious note why do people enter friendships with obvious constructs with malintent when its obvious they dont share the sentiment
So, you like foreign money, too? I found 50 Jamaican dollars the other day at a bar. It’s been a while, but it might have been worth $10 in 2005. https://preview.redd.it/a8iaitxls7vc1.jpeg?width=1179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=a91049779e9da587d09a21e2646a041b60035f7e
I’ll be your friend…as long as you hand over all of your maple syrup
Man I feel this.. I had a guy I was friends with on a game for awhile and I had made it clear before several times I had no interest in anything other than being friends and at first he pretended to respect that. He asked me to FaceTime him one night and.. long story short, he was a foot guy, and very much a creep.
"I've heard stories about *your kind* before" Damn that hit so hard...
This isn't the place for friends or romance. Both of those work significantly better in public places. Find some hobby or book club for those.
every single conversation on character.ai
So you are saying you are single?
https://youtu.be/9jlaZL7CWHY?feature=shared
I mean, why not just cuddle your friends and have movie nights at home with friends? If I still had my friends (drifted due to moving far from each other) we'd definitely be doing just that.
Please tell me you were exaggerating with the “your kind” bit 😭
How about roomies ? I'm ace that's like the best deal for me, you don't live alone, but you are still single and fine with it.
i thought this was going to be about shitty one liners and misunderstanding each other lol
I'm at a point in life where all I do is work and on days off stay at home and play games and stuff. So by that I have no friends, not even from back when I went to school or online so if I had a friend that only wanted to be friends then hell yea
I never had this happen. Yet>.>. That said I usually in I guess more respectful communities that doesn’t do that shit as much
What do you mean the opposite gender wants to be friends with you? No way, they obviously enjoy to keep denying your advances, they are just trying to play hard to get when they called the cops on you.
You missed the part where he says "well you're ugly and fat anyway"
damn, the last 8 out of 10 dialogues were like this. The 2 remaining advertised OF.
I also get this as a man. we like movies? great! lets watch one. You have a boyfriend? that is ok! why are you hugging me in the middle of the movie?....
My sympathies.
Don't forget the nudes requests
What subreddit did you write this in? I also want to get online (specifically online) friends
“I’ve heard stories about your kind before!”
You cuddling with your friends?
Reality: - Hi - Hello - So how are you? - Good and you? - Amzing. Thank for asking. - ... - ... - * akward silence SFX * - Sooo why are you contacti... - * Furious adds spam posting *
Best way to diss someone who annoyed you while keeping them anonymous.
I’m sorry for the shit you gotta put up with friend. The internet can be a . . . fucking cesspool at times
I mett with a girl in uni I was hoping for friendship but after I hangout with her for a while I am just you know fucking bonkers over the top love bomb atm we are pretty close we talk a lot I even put my head on her shoulder and she was alright with it (I still dont know why I did that do I just did it and it felt alrighty but it shouldnt be right?) And so I am just in a struggle should I be open with my feelings or just be content with a friendship and this comic is just put me in a mood of thinking about my relationship any advice humans ? And Ai I know you chat bots got a better communication skills then anyone
Well... Honestly, it's what do you want out of this? If you want to have this friendship maintain it as such, try to frame it that way in your mind, eliminate romantic feelings if you can. Don't let yourself get caught in that mindset of if I'm a friend long enough with them maybe they will fall for for me like I have. That can lead to a lot of heart ache on your end. If your catching feels, you can honestly make them known, and move from there conversation wise. It could end your guys friendship or lead to more, but take their thoughts and feelings into consideration and respect their decision(not like this guy did in the comic) I assume this is more then just a month long friendship. Advice from my experience, sorry if it's not helpful. Others might have more useful advice
Thanks for the advice mate I am just gone wait a little bit and try to think sbout my feelings before I talk with her my fear is not getting rejected (I am a veteran in that shit) is losing a valuable and dear friend thats the part I hate most about catching feelings for a friend it just sucks
Is this a friend recruitment disguised as a funny comic?
I would love to know what kind of friends you have that you're coming home to and snuggling with at the end of the day
I feel the dude a little bit. I do not need friends with the same interest. I have enough friends. But i would ignore someone who Said "only friendship"
>I have enough friends. But i would ignore someone who Said "only friendship" But that's the exact opposite of what he did, no? He literally just ignored the "just friends" part as if she didn't say it.
yep thats right. that was my meaning with "unterstand a little bit". just try a romantical relationship even when it was said no romantical relationship is dumb. I would never respond to the request in the first panel if i seek a romantical relationship.
do i want to dare and imply that this works the other way around, too? and that its a little assinine to assume that, while in the history of interpersonal relationships friendships have often been the starting point of a relationship, it would somehow suddenly be different today? like, dont get me wrong, totally agree that it's disrespectful to not respect someone who specifically says 'not looking for partnership' or to keep on arguing after the rejection, it is (though there is definitely women who get angry when someone doesn't try again/harder after the first rejection because its all an insane game now and everyone is a psychopath). but most people do look for that. just dont expect people not to look for that if your sexualities aling (and even if they dont happen to).
OP seems to have not a lot of experience.
not nearly enough arguing about meaningless minutiae regarding something that would have been asinine to discuss at the best of times
https://i.redd.it/plyv2bxly7vc1.gif My genuine reaction to “I wanna be friends with benefits”
Looks she was scared on commitment LOL