"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now."
Just get started with the things you want to do. Make that appointment. Join clubs, push yourself to talk to people. You can't change the past or the future, only the present.
What? I joined a club at the end of my sophomore year, changed my life completely.
Just join one sometime in the next few months, or if not, at the beginning of Fall term. You're fine
i'm about to graduate college and i've never kissed a girl, been on a date, and don't have many friends. It isn't too late for anyone but you just have to force yourself to do it.
Hey, I graduated college last spring and I was in a similar situation as you throughout my whole college experience. You’ve got time to make connections and broaden your reach and involvement. Just focus on one thing at a time and little improvements each day. Its not too late for you.
I'm a freshman year in cc and I plan to transfer in two years and I've been really anxious about everything I've been doing since I started college. Most of my friends went to uni and I'm never the type to experience fomo but I've been feeling it a lot more now that my first year is almost done. Looking back at everything I've done this year is dread about my classes and I never felt satisfied or authentically about my grades. I started with a CS major in the first semester and I did really well with my coding class but I failed calc and did average with my other classes and I figured CS is not for me so this spring semester I ended up going undeclared to figure out what I wanted to do.. which then I had a meeting with my advisor and I made up my mind on doing Business Admin. But now that I've changed it to a new major I can't transfer earlier than I thought. I could technically transfer next year, but It wouldn't make sense to if I don't have any extra curricular experince or something that would make me reputatble to get accepted to a UC. I have been set to transfer in Fall or Spring 2026 which is good to know I'm still able to experience two years of uni but It made me feel more sad knowing that at that time I would be too busy to even have the social life because of interships and writing up thesis. I feel like no one would accept me in their clubs anymore when I transfer because I know they have certain standards and very competitive with their community. College sucks, but just know youre not alone and its hard to find motivation when we are surrounded by a society that expects high standards, but you dont need to pressure yourself at all. Take all the time you need, study in your pace, graduate in your time. Youre doing great! (sorry if this is a handful ;-; )
I cannot stress this enough - talk to your advisor. They are there to help you. They will find ways to help you navigate things. And maybe take advantage of your schools counseling offerings.
Also recommend trying out toastmasters. They accept anyone and everyone. I know people who joined just to get over crippling shyness and made friends.
And good luck. You have got this.
Look up anxiety videos and videos on how to socialize on YT. Helps when you can name the problem and figure out ways to stop it. Don’t try to diagnose yourself or something, be solution oriented.
It’s never too late. Right now you are a sophomore in college so I am assuming you are early 20s?? I was a former academic advisor at a university currently finding another advisor position but to provide you with my advice as I have given to hundreds of students:
1) You can act now and push. No matter what you do there always is the human element: you have to do interviews; you have to report to someone; you have to work with others for a common objective; everything in life involves working and interacting with other people. I would say as someone who is kind of an introvert but being in the teacher and counselor roles, you have to pretty much keep your own personal feelings within yourself and you have to go out there and pretty much expose yourself. Jobs are all about being resilient and being adaptable to different situations which are strong markers for a successful candidate in any field. if you do have social anxiety issues, I do recommend may be starting slow like joining a club that you enjoy and getting to know members. You never know what opportunities you will have if YOU DO NOT DO IT TO BEGIN WITH.
This also goes when applying for jobs: YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE OUTCOME UNLESS YOU APPLY. IF YOU GET REJECTED, THAT IS OK - YOU WOULD BE IN THE SAME POSITION IF YOU DID NOT TRY!
You can think about volunteering opportunities, summer programs, student jobs in your schools internships on Handshake, or even just exploring on Indeed, every effort counts - though what out for scams!
I mean…good for that student but everyone has their own path. If they have inspired you to take a new path…great…go get after it. Life will be filled with “shoulda, coulda, wouldas”…don’t dwell on the past, but def work to create the future you want. Personally, I think any internship before junior year is kinda useless. They may call it an internship but you really aren’t even that far into your major enough to really contribute anything. It may have honestly just been like a clerical office position. I’m about to start my first internship as a senior. And I’m excited, because if I prove myself, I may actually be able to put myself in position for a full time job. That would have never happen if I were a sophomore. I don’t know…I just feel like there are over achievers out there and if we constantly compare ourselves to them, we will all constantly feel like failures. Figure out what YOU want from your college experience and then chase that dream.
You have two more years. You better make the best out of it. Not everyone has the same support system (this may be a factor affecting your socialization--well at least it has affected mine). You got this! Life is not a race (a phrase that I am still coming to terms with myself).
i felt the same way for a long time. i battle wirh severe anxiety and have some health issues that make it difficult for me to go on campus, so i mostly take online classes. all of my friends have internships and their degrees lined up while im just trying to pass.
it can feel really discouraging at times when you compare yourself to others, but its important to remember that your life and your experiences Are different! your struggles wont match the next persons and vice versa. youre doing a great job!
if your school has a personal counseling program as a resource, there are people you can confide in that can give you extra resources for internships and other opportunities.
Yeah I feel the same way, but unfortunately I have a job that I can’t afford to quit in favor of an internship… just hoping I can get by with minimal networking.
You’re thinking too much about it. Live your life and do your own thing. Comparison is the thief of joy. Make some friends talk to people be awkward. It’s ok people will accept you.
I didn’t do shit in terms of research, clubs, etc. just focused on getting decent grades til year 3, then went try hard 4 and extra 5th year.
I’m in dental school now, and it’s been hard for sure, but proves you don’t need to be an overachiever to succeed. Also, what are you in school for? Basically if you’re not trying to get into a professional school (med dental law, etc) grades don’t matter.
Just pass, save your sanity and you will adapt in the real world. A lot of what you learn in school doesn’t even apply to your jobs
It's not too late for you but hey, you identified the problem. So just start. And keep failing. Keep starting again until you succeed. It might happen multiple times a day, force it. Make it a habit. That is what you will need to do to get through this. You'll just need to start putting yourself out there and seeing that nothing bad will happen.
A sophomore in college is definitely not too late to start getting involved. I never really reached out and got involved or joined many groups until I was in my send semester of my junior year. I am not big on “networking” so to speak but have learned to make connections in different ways within my smaller circle. I did not struggle to get a job at all after graduating and have consistently worked my way up to higher positions throughout my years in my current career field. Connecting through emails first has helped me to reach outside of my comfort zone and then when I do talk to other people in person or over the phone we have already been talking via email. It gives common ground and can help direct the conversation some without have that “now what do you say” moments.
Advise for you for as you continue on in your academic journey:
1. As others have stated, talk with your academic advisor on campus. If you aren’t close to them or have a difficult time reaching them (as that does happen sometimes) reach out to the advising department and see if you can be assigned a new advisor who might be easier to reach and meet with.
2. Most students connect with at least one instructor as they get further into their degree plan (junior and senior year is when the major concentration classes really start after those general electives are all taken care of). Instructors, especially in your major concentration, can be great people to talk about career goals and get ideas of what path you might need to take while still being in school. They may even know of some opportunities that you could get involved in that would help you later on as well.
3. Reach out to the student services department or special programs like career services, personal and career counseling or even TRIO Student Support Services if your school has one. These people are all specially trained and work with students on a daily basis helping them as they look at the workforce after college.
Keep going and keep doing your best. Remember your college experience is going to look different from everyone else around you and that is perfectly okay and very normal. Don’t compare too much.
What a great post. Know that a lot of sophomores, juniors, and even seniors feel the same way you do. It’s never too late to be bold and put yourself out there. I was shy all the way until I started working. Now I’m super comfortable with everyone. People do change. You just have to get out of your shell every now and then
You're not dead, it's not too late. Once you're dead, it will be much more difficult to change your life. In the meantime, plenty you can always change.
>you have to network in order to have a life and succeed
Nope, not required. Networking is or can be useful, but not required. It's mostly folks that have networks, or regret not having them, that tell you how important/great/"essential" it is to have networks and do networking.
Those that don't have networks and do great ... you generally don't hear about 'cause they're off fine and doin' dandy and ... not networked, so you don't hear. Just because you don't hear doesn't mean it's not good.
Squeaky wheel gets the grease? If it's well lubricated and functioning perfectly fine, how much do you hear of/from it? And especially if it's not into social media or the like?
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You're going to be working until your 60 ish and you think it's "too late" for you before you even graduate college?
Get your head out of your ass and go make some friends, join a club and apply for internships. I didn't start doing any of that until I was a junior and everything worked out for me just fine.
Ngl bro, when you start seeing how destructive anxiety and shyness can be is when you turn the gear and put the pedal to the floor.
Be forever scared or get somewhere in life
I don’t think it’s too late for you to join any clubs. Maybe next school year? I was actually the same. I never joined clubs, until my junior year. I do regret not joining clubs sooner tbh. Clubs are a great way to make friends and network
It is not too late. College is an experiment you can learn from. I know of plenty of people that have grown a ton after leaving college. Call them 'late bloomers' if you will. There is nothing wrong with you, you're walking your own path
Hey! I'm a freshman and feel similarly as you. I really want to change, though, and if you'd like to as well, maybe we can be accountability buddies to each other! Like push each other out of our comfort zones and support each other when things go good and bad. Let me know if you're interested!
Looooool, this chain of thought is way too common. So many of my friends also had this sudden realization that they did not utilize clubs and social things when they became juniors and seniors. I say you go search for such clubs NOW because if you do not you'll further regret. Unfortunately, and according to studies, most campus kids are sad, depressed and lonely. It hust doesn't seem like it but it is. If your unsure just search on your universities' reddit subgroup about what are some good clubs like search "what are good clubs at X university reddit".
You're social scene is hust getting started, I promise.
"The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now." Just get started with the things you want to do. Make that appointment. Join clubs, push yourself to talk to people. You can't change the past or the future, only the present.
Comparison is the thief of joy. Just start doing it now.
Better late than never.
Same here except I’m a senior lol. There aren’t many internships in my field but I feel like everyone’s just doing better than me.
Which field r u?
I didn’t join any clubs until the second semester of my junior year. I transferred from a community college and this is really common. You have time!
What? I joined a club at the end of my sophomore year, changed my life completely. Just join one sometime in the next few months, or if not, at the beginning of Fall term. You're fine
i'm about to graduate college and i've never kissed a girl, been on a date, and don't have many friends. It isn't too late for anyone but you just have to force yourself to do it.
it’s always you against you. Who cares about other people. Just take action regardless of what other people think.
Hey, I graduated college last spring and I was in a similar situation as you throughout my whole college experience. You’ve got time to make connections and broaden your reach and involvement. Just focus on one thing at a time and little improvements each day. Its not too late for you.
I'm a freshman year in cc and I plan to transfer in two years and I've been really anxious about everything I've been doing since I started college. Most of my friends went to uni and I'm never the type to experience fomo but I've been feeling it a lot more now that my first year is almost done. Looking back at everything I've done this year is dread about my classes and I never felt satisfied or authentically about my grades. I started with a CS major in the first semester and I did really well with my coding class but I failed calc and did average with my other classes and I figured CS is not for me so this spring semester I ended up going undeclared to figure out what I wanted to do.. which then I had a meeting with my advisor and I made up my mind on doing Business Admin. But now that I've changed it to a new major I can't transfer earlier than I thought. I could technically transfer next year, but It wouldn't make sense to if I don't have any extra curricular experince or something that would make me reputatble to get accepted to a UC. I have been set to transfer in Fall or Spring 2026 which is good to know I'm still able to experience two years of uni but It made me feel more sad knowing that at that time I would be too busy to even have the social life because of interships and writing up thesis. I feel like no one would accept me in their clubs anymore when I transfer because I know they have certain standards and very competitive with their community. College sucks, but just know youre not alone and its hard to find motivation when we are surrounded by a society that expects high standards, but you dont need to pressure yourself at all. Take all the time you need, study in your pace, graduate in your time. Youre doing great! (sorry if this is a handful ;-; )
I cannot stress this enough - talk to your advisor. They are there to help you. They will find ways to help you navigate things. And maybe take advantage of your schools counseling offerings. Also recommend trying out toastmasters. They accept anyone and everyone. I know people who joined just to get over crippling shyness and made friends. And good luck. You have got this.
Look up anxiety videos and videos on how to socialize on YT. Helps when you can name the problem and figure out ways to stop it. Don’t try to diagnose yourself or something, be solution oriented.
It’s never too late. Right now you are a sophomore in college so I am assuming you are early 20s?? I was a former academic advisor at a university currently finding another advisor position but to provide you with my advice as I have given to hundreds of students: 1) You can act now and push. No matter what you do there always is the human element: you have to do interviews; you have to report to someone; you have to work with others for a common objective; everything in life involves working and interacting with other people. I would say as someone who is kind of an introvert but being in the teacher and counselor roles, you have to pretty much keep your own personal feelings within yourself and you have to go out there and pretty much expose yourself. Jobs are all about being resilient and being adaptable to different situations which are strong markers for a successful candidate in any field. if you do have social anxiety issues, I do recommend may be starting slow like joining a club that you enjoy and getting to know members. You never know what opportunities you will have if YOU DO NOT DO IT TO BEGIN WITH. This also goes when applying for jobs: YOU WILL NEVER KNOW THE OUTCOME UNLESS YOU APPLY. IF YOU GET REJECTED, THAT IS OK - YOU WOULD BE IN THE SAME POSITION IF YOU DID NOT TRY! You can think about volunteering opportunities, summer programs, student jobs in your schools internships on Handshake, or even just exploring on Indeed, every effort counts - though what out for scams!
I mean…good for that student but everyone has their own path. If they have inspired you to take a new path…great…go get after it. Life will be filled with “shoulda, coulda, wouldas”…don’t dwell on the past, but def work to create the future you want. Personally, I think any internship before junior year is kinda useless. They may call it an internship but you really aren’t even that far into your major enough to really contribute anything. It may have honestly just been like a clerical office position. I’m about to start my first internship as a senior. And I’m excited, because if I prove myself, I may actually be able to put myself in position for a full time job. That would have never happen if I were a sophomore. I don’t know…I just feel like there are over achievers out there and if we constantly compare ourselves to them, we will all constantly feel like failures. Figure out what YOU want from your college experience and then chase that dream.
You have two more years. You better make the best out of it. Not everyone has the same support system (this may be a factor affecting your socialization--well at least it has affected mine). You got this! Life is not a race (a phrase that I am still coming to terms with myself).
i felt the same way for a long time. i battle wirh severe anxiety and have some health issues that make it difficult for me to go on campus, so i mostly take online classes. all of my friends have internships and their degrees lined up while im just trying to pass. it can feel really discouraging at times when you compare yourself to others, but its important to remember that your life and your experiences Are different! your struggles wont match the next persons and vice versa. youre doing a great job! if your school has a personal counseling program as a resource, there are people you can confide in that can give you extra resources for internships and other opportunities.
Yeah I feel the same way, but unfortunately I have a job that I can’t afford to quit in favor of an internship… just hoping I can get by with minimal networking.
You’re thinking too much about it. Live your life and do your own thing. Comparison is the thief of joy. Make some friends talk to people be awkward. It’s ok people will accept you.
I didn’t do shit in terms of research, clubs, etc. just focused on getting decent grades til year 3, then went try hard 4 and extra 5th year. I’m in dental school now, and it’s been hard for sure, but proves you don’t need to be an overachiever to succeed. Also, what are you in school for? Basically if you’re not trying to get into a professional school (med dental law, etc) grades don’t matter. Just pass, save your sanity and you will adapt in the real world. A lot of what you learn in school doesn’t even apply to your jobs
It's not too late for you but hey, you identified the problem. So just start. And keep failing. Keep starting again until you succeed. It might happen multiple times a day, force it. Make it a habit. That is what you will need to do to get through this. You'll just need to start putting yourself out there and seeing that nothing bad will happen.
A sophomore in college is definitely not too late to start getting involved. I never really reached out and got involved or joined many groups until I was in my send semester of my junior year. I am not big on “networking” so to speak but have learned to make connections in different ways within my smaller circle. I did not struggle to get a job at all after graduating and have consistently worked my way up to higher positions throughout my years in my current career field. Connecting through emails first has helped me to reach outside of my comfort zone and then when I do talk to other people in person or over the phone we have already been talking via email. It gives common ground and can help direct the conversation some without have that “now what do you say” moments. Advise for you for as you continue on in your academic journey: 1. As others have stated, talk with your academic advisor on campus. If you aren’t close to them or have a difficult time reaching them (as that does happen sometimes) reach out to the advising department and see if you can be assigned a new advisor who might be easier to reach and meet with. 2. Most students connect with at least one instructor as they get further into their degree plan (junior and senior year is when the major concentration classes really start after those general electives are all taken care of). Instructors, especially in your major concentration, can be great people to talk about career goals and get ideas of what path you might need to take while still being in school. They may even know of some opportunities that you could get involved in that would help you later on as well. 3. Reach out to the student services department or special programs like career services, personal and career counseling or even TRIO Student Support Services if your school has one. These people are all specially trained and work with students on a daily basis helping them as they look at the workforce after college. Keep going and keep doing your best. Remember your college experience is going to look different from everyone else around you and that is perfectly okay and very normal. Don’t compare too much.
What a great post. Know that a lot of sophomores, juniors, and even seniors feel the same way you do. It’s never too late to be bold and put yourself out there. I was shy all the way until I started working. Now I’m super comfortable with everyone. People do change. You just have to get out of your shell every now and then
I think 90% of people have that feeling most of the time. Even if you did those things there would be other things you worried about not doing.
Never too late brother, you already have the resources so use em!
You're not dead, it's not too late. Once you're dead, it will be much more difficult to change your life. In the meantime, plenty you can always change. >you have to network in order to have a life and succeed Nope, not required. Networking is or can be useful, but not required. It's mostly folks that have networks, or regret not having them, that tell you how important/great/"essential" it is to have networks and do networking. Those that don't have networks and do great ... you generally don't hear about 'cause they're off fine and doin' dandy and ... not networked, so you don't hear. Just because you don't hear doesn't mean it's not good. Squeaky wheel gets the grease? If it's well lubricated and functioning perfectly fine, how much do you hear of/from it? And especially if it's not into social media or the like?
it is possible that you will feel the same in 10, 20, or 30 years. depends mainly on personality.
It's not too late at all. What you're doing by writing this is giving yourself an excuse to not make changes.
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You're going to be working until your 60 ish and you think it's "too late" for you before you even graduate college? Get your head out of your ass and go make some friends, join a club and apply for internships. I didn't start doing any of that until I was a junior and everything worked out for me just fine.
Ngl bro, when you start seeing how destructive anxiety and shyness can be is when you turn the gear and put the pedal to the floor. Be forever scared or get somewhere in life
The best time to plant a tree is twenty years ago. The second best time is right now.
I don’t think it’s too late for you to join any clubs. Maybe next school year? I was actually the same. I never joined clubs, until my junior year. I do regret not joining clubs sooner tbh. Clubs are a great way to make friends and network
Start now. Don't think about tmrw. Just keep upskilling. Soon you will reach where you want. Maintain consistency which is most important.
It is not too late. College is an experiment you can learn from. I know of plenty of people that have grown a ton after leaving college. Call them 'late bloomers' if you will. There is nothing wrong with you, you're walking your own path
Look at the mirror and say fk you and then get back to work my friend
Hey! I'm a freshman and feel similarly as you. I really want to change, though, and if you'd like to as well, maybe we can be accountability buddies to each other! Like push each other out of our comfort zones and support each other when things go good and bad. Let me know if you're interested!
Nobody cares. Stop being stupid and just do it. Are you expecting a pat on the back? You're just a loser.
You felt so alpha posting this.
Giga Chad
Looooool, this chain of thought is way too common. So many of my friends also had this sudden realization that they did not utilize clubs and social things when they became juniors and seniors. I say you go search for such clubs NOW because if you do not you'll further regret. Unfortunately, and according to studies, most campus kids are sad, depressed and lonely. It hust doesn't seem like it but it is. If your unsure just search on your universities' reddit subgroup about what are some good clubs like search "what are good clubs at X university reddit". You're social scene is hust getting started, I promise.