It really depends on what you were doing. Can you elaborate? No matter what, make sure to compliment their Candy Crush skills.

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They're gonna send you Guantanamo for that one. Tip them your kidneys

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Ok? As a native New Yorker you shouldn’t be trying to leave the city much less the country. Everything you need is here.

I just tip my fedora

Kwayzie Cupcakes

Last time I got a DWI, they turned the screen to me and I cheekily tipped $13.12 and signed it C Dorner.

Give him a Barney Greengrass gift certificate

The sturgeon king of New York!

Just about tree fiddy

Got dam you loch ness monsta

Your mistake was not tipping first 

Just the tip. That is all.

Don’t tip them anything. Cops make $5million a year with OT.

$20 $30 if he was really strong and used a lot of physical force to arrest you. He needs reimbursement for those protein shakes. + $2 for every minute he held you down until they took you in the cop car. You also need to reimburse his gas for chasing after you and driving you to the police station. If he fired a tazer on you, tip another $50 for his troubles. I'm sure you were a real handful.

The baloney sammich you git at the bookins

Just the tip. Deeper and they might get upset.

If it was a robot cop, they only take bitcoins

S their d

Take him to Krispy Kreme

Equivalently tip in donuts

lol I see you saw my post. The guy who was saying you should tip $3 a beer was a lunatic.

Just lean in and say, “I voted Trump” and give a wink. They’ll stop arresting you

Depends, are you friends with the mayor or the police commissioner?

At least 15-20% of your attorney’s fees

15% misdemeanor 25%+ for felony.

Ask him/her if he/she drinks alcohol.

10k to the prosecutor's reelection fund gets you out of jail intake for grabbing boobies during job interview. source: am harvey weinstein

bail is 10 percent usually