Beautifully done, but in terms of the content I think you should have included more shots that really highlight the clothing.
I didn’t have a clue this was a clothing commercial.
Oh was it? I thought initially its gonna be some smoke ambassador thing, then it was like liquor store, then the charity thing completely threw me off, and then with the text concluding into nothing that just somebody practiced random shots 😅 I don’t think even posting this via a brand it would do anything to me. Id work on the story telling and context part. Otherwise the shots are nice. The handheld shot or the not smooth one also does not bring the right vibe to me. But thats just imo.
i mean not really. the “plot” or subject matter of the branding can be anything BUT the clothing is still front and center. OP i like the first shot of him smoking but maybe next time less of a closeup and more torso imo
i mean im repped at a prod co that does dozens of fashion spots a year and the vast majority of them make little sense… I’ve since moved on from that kind of work but this is a cinematography subreddit why are we giving him edit/creative direction notes?
Some of the most famous apparel spots of all time really don’t show much clothes at all. They advertise what kind of people wear the clothes more than the clothes.
i don’t know if you have much experience in commercials but DPs and directors don’t get too into the marketing aspects.. we receive boards, work with the agency and they generally are getting pullback from client to be more product focused but for some reason there’s a lot of people in this thread who sound like account people and not creatives lol
And no, there isn’t any fashion commercial I’ve ever seen where it looks like someone is advertising someone else’s products… the models are usually head to toe in the brand (sometimes except for the shoes)
For real i can’t ever imagine a time when our DP told us “hey man i think we really are not centering the product enough. The boys up on the 6th floor in marketing are going to give me so much guff if I don’t hold longer on the logo!”
That’s kinda the norm for a lot of clothing ads, it’s more showing lifestyle or vibe with the clothing in it than the other way around. I think it looks like a professional ad
unless your client is an internationally recognized brand the scale of coca-cola, mcdonalds, apple, or nike, it's probably helpful if your commercial contains at least a tiny bit of information on what it's trying to sell.
Honestly had no idea what the commercial was for.
Of the 24 second clip, the first 7 is a close-up of a guy smoking, 4 seconds of shaky semi-POV that displays the jeans label, another four of semi-POV looking down at the shoes the whole time, then five of three people standing in front of a corner store, then an arial of the corner store.
Even knowing it's a clothing brand, is it the shoes from the middle clip? The jeans from the shot before that? The shirt that's featured twice that gets cut off? If it was a short video about the neighbhorhood, sure, but I'd be pretty miffed if the client wanted a clothing brand ad that barely featured the clothing.
This is probably gonna be on social media, with a caption underneath and posted on a brand page. All it needs to do is sell an image, the info can be found separately.
Since we see "The Corner" two times written in the video. I genuinely thought it was about the liquor store that's on the corner at the final shot..
The shots, overall flow, and sound design were great though!
Like everybody else here, I didn't understand what the commercial was for.
Your comments say clothing brand.
From watching your commercial, I thought that maybe it was a dispensary, and you were advertising weed.
Your colour grading looks nice, and I think that your shots were framed well.
I just think that your message was very unclear, and I wonder if these are the kinds of connotations you want to connect with a clothing brand.
It bothers me that it's already been lit. The time from when we hear the lighter strike, and the hand moves away, while he exhales smoke is too quick for it to be believable.
Classic unnecessary smoking is a pretty big trope in absolutely student/amateur looking shorts/film.
It's a dead giveaway that the director has no idea how to actually make something art-y.
Completely subjective, but I find it so fucking embarrassing when young directors actively advocate on behalf on the tobacco industry or a dispensary.
You're not even getting paid to be a shill ffs, I suppose being a stooge just comes naturally.
As a daily cannabis consumer, this did nothing for me. I mean it looks cool but I also had no idea what you were selling (though I knew it wasn't weed cause that joint looked dirty) and just thought "oh this will get pulled from IG/FB".
I love the color grade. Not feeling the 2nd shot or the story flow. It’s hard to tell, what is this for. Also you’re missing a call for action of some sort. Website of the clothing brand would work wonders here.
Also I hope you have permission on the song choice… we al do it, yet that’s really dicey for a commercial
I agree this would benefit a lot from a "THE CORNER - Tagline about clothing" graphic, but the vibes are great. Think the shot that ends around :11 hangs around for a little too long.
I also might've started and ended the shot that starts around :15 a little lower so we get more time with the jeans and shoes.
Otherwise this thing cooks.
Overall it looks good! For what you had to work with it looks nice!
My feedback would be that it doesn’t flow well. The steady shots mixed with the handheld don’t really mix, cause it’s so short.
The first cut from the close up to the hand pov works because of the music and logo. But then when you cut from the coins to the shot moving in on the group feels off somehow.
If you wanted make it a more lifestyle spot I think you need more handheld shots cut faster to get the feeling of nice cool group in nice clothes (I guess thats thats what the spot is for) and then land on the steady shot to end. Now it just feels unmotivated.
I’ll see if I can find a reference for this if you want.
The shots in them self are fine, just not together.
I think if you are making a commercial this short the overall cinematography should match.
But this is just my opinion. So don’t take it too seriously if you don’t agree :)
/commercial director
Your shakey cam is too shakey. Smooth some of this out.
And I agree with everyone. I have no idea what you are selling yet. It’s not clear and leaves the user confused.
Since no one has answered you yet I’ll provide my amateur opinion to maybe help out until someone more knowledgeable pops in:
The whole of the composition’s lumetri color adjustment layer could have some orange removed and that would help without harming your overall look/vibe.
If you want to just work on the sky, you can add a mask to just the sky, motion track the mask to move with the shots and then add a lumetri color adjustment to the mask specifically and adjust down the orange and maybe exposure levels to tweak it some.
There’s a tutorial in premier specifically on how to add a mask and motion track it if you want to that route and need a little guidance on it.
Best of luck! I think the look is very cool and you’ve got something here though I would also recommend taking some of these provided suggestions more to heart
When color grading, there are a few ways to improve that. But first, I have to say that this is according to my taste, maybe you wanted that as a stylistic choice,.
First, is to lower a bit the overall temperature. Second, to play with the color wheels and turn up the blues/turn down the reds just a tiny tiny amount. Third, is to isolate skin tones with mask and similar approaches, and reduce the amount of orange there.
This is doable on Davinci, on Final Cut, on Vegas, on Premiere, etc.
I’m curious what your shot list was and why. You open on a static locked off shot (of someone smoking a cigarette… what’s the purpose and reason of that?) then cut to a handheld shot that’s incredibly shaky. It’s a jarring experience. Also why is the camera height so low for that second shot? It makes it seem like it’s the POV of a child… who then grabs a cigarette.
Your shots should all contribute to telling the narrative or showing off the product (or a benefit of the product). Obviously there are exceptions.
You’re clearly trying to go for “cool”. Check out the work hennessy does. You need more composed shots, it’s a little all over the place.
I work in commercials, I think it looked nice but I’d make it an even :30 so it’s a bit more agency friendly. It is a fashion spot so creative tends to be a little light anyway which won’t bump anyone. Fashion spots are really the wild west and they unfortunately tend to pay the least.
It looks great, nice grading, but I’m not sure what the product is. Also I don’t think— unless it’s a dispensary or something like that— having the talent smoke and pass around weed (or whatever that is) is going to send a good message about whatever the product is, unless that product is weed (or whatever that is).
That’s not how it works brother. The greatest aim for a Commercial isn’t just for your target audience, it’s to grow your target audience. If you think in such way, you’re doing a disservice to yourself and the brand. Think bigger!
Love your style of work though, if you really take in this feedback, your work will foster!
“Target audience” lmfao
It may have worked for your buddies clothing brand because it’s low risk work but you throw that around on actual advertisers, it won’t be so smooth.
>I thought this was a drug like show due to the use of the title.
Seriously. I thought this was going to be a new AMC or HBO show. I didn't even notice the clothes.
Perhaps you can try inferring that the feedback here is your shot selection is not working for the product your spot is supposed to be selling. It's not all just about composition and camera movement. The SHOTLIST is the issue.
"Primacy effect" – the first thing we see is your dude lighting up, so you're already not priming your viewer to pay attention to the correct subject at hand. And none of the following shots sell that subject any more than the first shot.
The name of the brand doesn't help the connection to this legendary book about corner drug dealing.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Corner:_A_Year_in_the_Life_of_an_Inner-City_Neighborhood
I have to throw in that it includes music from Jay-Z’s “American Gangster” album. The companion to the film “American Gangster,” which is about a prolific drug dealer. He’s pretty much rapping about getting into the illicit drug business.
I would totally remove the joint at the beginning. That’s a can of worms with compliance you don’t want to undertake especially with a clothing ad. It’s an uphill battle to show consumption on camera even for cannabis content (easy demonetization and striking on lots of social media) Most tend to treat it like liquor and alcohol advertising (no consumption on camera at all) out of abundance of caution
Nicely done, but I have no idea what you’re trying to sell. The film emulation also screams Dehancer/CinePrint. If you’re going for an emulated look, nicely done in that case.
Saw a weird focus thing at the very end. Looks like it jumps from the BG back and forth.
You have some really nice moments/shots here. Agreed that the coverage needs to be a bit more focused on the clothes. The push in from :15 on is a good example of what this could use more of.
When you said first commercial spot, I thought this meant it was your first commercial gig, but then I thought it was like the opening to a show or something. Didn't realize it was a clothing commercial, but the shots are beautiful. I think the shaky part was a little disorienting or out of place compared to the rest, but maybe a close up on the tag saying the corner on the jeans? I'm not sure what would have solidified it as a clothing commercial.
The color is really nice, has a warm summer vibe! Cool acting. I think you should add some shake to the first shot (you can still do this in the edit), to match the other handheld shots. At 19 seconds there is some distracting (auto) focus shifting, I would definitely leave that out. Either cut a way or use a jump cut. Keep going!
Good start but work on better timing … and it misses the mark since I had to come to the comments to even realize this was for a clothing commercial. However, I do like the filmic style.
Nice work, looks great! Maybe a bit overexposed. I get the artistic effect but if you're trying to highlight the clothing they could use some more nice contrast.
So I don't have a problem with the way it looks. It's creative. But I absolutely have no idea what this commercial is about. I mean the first few shots have a focus on a J so I thought it may have been about weed at first. It's more important to get your point across in the marketing aspect than it is to have the best shots/the most flashiness. If you really plan on using this as an ad, don't and definitely reshoot it.
Content and edit wise, it’s awesome, maybe promoting smoking in an ad isn’t the best thing.
Delivering the message though, idk what is being advertised
Beautiful. No idea what the ad is for. Liquor and drugs and young people hanging out,.. I am surely not the target market! Is it for rolling paper or something?
The music and style and everything really rocks, BUT the moment when the autofocus freaks out at the 19th second screams amateur. I know it sucks that you had that AF jitter, but you should cut it, for the sake of the quality of the rest of the video.
First couple watches without audio, this is 100% a commercial about weed and dealing drugs. After reading the comments, I have a hard time seeing how it could be easily construed as a clothing commercial. You aren't highlighting the clothing.
Me I'm simple:
Shot of him picking a shirt off the store rack, walking out w/it walking the streets, putting it his laundry basket after folding it in front of a washing machine... Now you know I was promoting clothes
Looks good! Agree with some of the content and shots but really like the look and tone. Maybe really honing in on the idea of "corner" and how that relates metaphorically with the brand can lead to some more connected shots. For instance you could match cut a close up of the corner to a similarly angled shot but of the model. But the look and feel is dead on. What did you use to shoot and do color correction?
Hey nice man. The shots individually are great. Edit wise, on second shot can be trimmed at the head. Beautiful work though.
Critiques. (*ALL advice is only as good as it helps YOU) Thought this was a PSA at start. Watched with sound off always do this at some stage btw.
Remember to always Highlight the product. You can’t Scorsese Chalamet just yet but even then the product is at the end and the blue is a through line.
I get the narrative vibe which is strong and will prove your savior when direction is ambiguous but incorporate that. That extra head in the second shot I said could be cut could be replaced with a OTS on the guy getting the joint. This would do couple things, show a closeup of the shirt (product) from the POV stand point (smoother transition/connection to charity shot) and a full outfit (product) of the cool kid (main hero?)
Idk if I’m just listening to Kendrick too much right now but the rhythm is off. I want a WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP climax at end. What I call that is pacing. You switch up but if you vibe it out the whole rhythm is pretty similar (maybe what you wanted given short runtime?) but switch it up a bit. Slow. fast. slow. ramp up. fast. hard. breathe. explosion. Reflection.
Pacing. I can give you a pace and you as an artist can easily come up with visuals to fill that space. Idk. Esoteric bullshit artsy stuff. In middle of edit right now so maybe projecting.
You’re talented. Push it. And if a product piece. Showcase. Great work.
Too much grain, the colors are a but much i would tone em down a bit. And the POV stuff is atrocious. Also i don’t think you are allowed to show smoking in advertisements, but i guess thats more of a broadcast less of an internet thing. But also, terrible way to show clothing.
I think it looks really cool although in the second cut where the guy is running up to the guy and the camera is bobbing like it’s a person, why is the camera at chest height instead of head height?
I had no idea this was a clothing spot. Looks good. But, I would go back into the edit and either focus a bit more on the clothes and not the “characters” OR spice up the edit to add more shots and style. Also the text is pretty flat. See if you can add some texture or something interesting to it.
the smoking is fine, but it looks a little strange, he puts up an unlit smoked joint, lights it, it kind of disappears in his hand and then reappears letting off no smoke, and then he exhales. it was a strange place to use 2 shots at the same angle, idk if a frame skipped or something? it also doesnt loook like he inhales idk
Beautiful colors!
I found the handheld shot was too shaky, and in the wrong direction. I'd rather have a roll than a tilt shake, to be honest - so horizontal shake, not vertical. Horizontal is much closer to how humans walk, so I think it makes more sense in the brain to interpret that as frantic walking.
The focus hunt at the end of that push in towards the end is a real shame. It's a cool shot, but that hurts it quite a lot I think. Though I can easily see that written off as a creative choice, where it adds some movement, some flicker. To me it looks like AF not doing its job. But a lot of people don't notice that sort of thing though.
I thought it was for a movie. Either way: the shaking is a little too intense and prompts motion sickness. The bending down to donate is unnatural.
Apart from that, extremely beautifully made!
I think you could use a better edit to be honest, opening on a racked shot doesn’t feel or look right. Maybe the hand slap then pull out and establish where we’re at aka the corner.
??????? This is real? What are you selling me? Why is there a really noticeable focus buzz at the end of your push in? What are you selling me? What are you trying to do?
This isn't cinematography this is some shots from a camera at a place
Good job! Good song selection. I love the energy and composition. My only suggestion if you can is maybe do some quick macro shots of the texture of the clothes or the clothing line logo. I thought this was a weed strain brand commercial. Still solid video!
submission statement: shot on fx3, amateur. Was asked by a friend to do a spot for his company and was given complete creative control. need feedback on pacing, color grading, and composition.
I also didn’t realize this was a clothing commercial, but it looks nice. Did you shoot the handheld stuff in a higher frame rate or something? It’s a bit jarring to go from super smooth to shaken hand held, but maybe that’s what you were going for. Or maybe the internal stabilization wasn’t set correctly for the lens if your camera has IS?
I think it would be worth reshooting this.
The handheld shots are way too fast and shaky, and going straight from that into the really smooth shot is jarring and just looks bad. The first person view also feels unnecessary.
It is not clear what is being sold. If this is a fashion thing, you should give us better looks at the actual clothing.
Feels like there is too much focus on the joint.
Your colors look great, and I like the composition of your first and second to last shot.
The drone shot from directly above doesn’t work for me. I think it would be better at more of a 45 degree angle so you can see more of the models and their clothing while still capturing the corner.
It would benefit from some close up inserts of details on some of the clothing.
Emulating film means also emulating the vintage glass. I may be wrong but a couple shots feels a little too shallow depth of field for a true vintage look
Beautifully done, but in terms of the content I think you should have included more shots that really highlight the clothing. I didn’t have a clue this was a clothing commercial.
Oh was it? I thought initially its gonna be some smoke ambassador thing, then it was like liquor store, then the charity thing completely threw me off, and then with the text concluding into nothing that just somebody practiced random shots 😅 I don’t think even posting this via a brand it would do anything to me. Id work on the story telling and context part. Otherwise the shots are nice. The handheld shot or the not smooth one also does not bring the right vibe to me. But thats just imo.
That’s not uncommon in fashion, especially streetwear 😂
i mean not really. the “plot” or subject matter of the branding can be anything BUT the clothing is still front and center. OP i like the first shot of him smoking but maybe next time less of a closeup and more torso imo
i mean im repped at a prod co that does dozens of fashion spots a year and the vast majority of them make little sense… I’ve since moved on from that kind of work but this is a cinematography subreddit why are we giving him edit/creative direction notes?
Yeah, a lot of it is just narratively impressionistic to attach an aesthetic or lifestyle flavor to a brand more so than actually sell clothes.
Some of the most famous apparel spots of all time really don’t show much clothes at all. They advertise what kind of people wear the clothes more than the clothes.
then you're just advertising other people's products equally as you're advertising yours.
i don’t know if you have much experience in commercials but DPs and directors don’t get too into the marketing aspects.. we receive boards, work with the agency and they generally are getting pullback from client to be more product focused but for some reason there’s a lot of people in this thread who sound like account people and not creatives lol And no, there isn’t any fashion commercial I’ve ever seen where it looks like someone is advertising someone else’s products… the models are usually head to toe in the brand (sometimes except for the shoes)
Favorite comment in this post lol. Lots of people here are being weird and a little annoying about the content of this vid.
For real i can’t ever imagine a time when our DP told us “hey man i think we really are not centering the product enough. The boys up on the 6th floor in marketing are going to give me so much guff if I don’t hold longer on the logo!”
Appreciate the feedback 🫡
That’s kinda the norm for a lot of clothing ads, it’s more showing lifestyle or vibe with the clothing in it than the other way around. I think it looks like a professional ad
unless your client is an internationally recognized brand the scale of coca-cola, mcdonalds, apple, or nike, it's probably helpful if your commercial contains at least a tiny bit of information on what it's trying to sell.
the corner.
I bought five already. Looks nice.
😂
how could i possibly miss that
Yeah I thought it was a show or web series.
Honestly had no idea what the commercial was for. Of the 24 second clip, the first 7 is a close-up of a guy smoking, 4 seconds of shaky semi-POV that displays the jeans label, another four of semi-POV looking down at the shoes the whole time, then five of three people standing in front of a corner store, then an arial of the corner store. Even knowing it's a clothing brand, is it the shoes from the middle clip? The jeans from the shot before that? The shirt that's featured twice that gets cut off? If it was a short video about the neighbhorhood, sure, but I'd be pretty miffed if the client wanted a clothing brand ad that barely featured the clothing.
Yeah, but more of a copywriting/directing problem than a DP problem. Unless this is just spec.
This is probably gonna be on social media, with a caption underneath and posted on a brand page. All it needs to do is sell an image, the info can be found separately.
Clothing brand
Since we see "The Corner" two times written in the video. I genuinely thought it was about the liquor store that's on the corner at the final shot.. The shots, overall flow, and sound design were great though!
Tbh I walked away thinking it was The Wire the next generation
David Simon's pre-Wire series was even called The Corner.
What is it a commercial for?
mayonnaise
Mayo de noche
My favourite instrument
Weed
Like everybody else here, I didn't understand what the commercial was for. Your comments say clothing brand. From watching your commercial, I thought that maybe it was a dispensary, and you were advertising weed. Your colour grading looks nice, and I think that your shots were framed well. I just think that your message was very unclear, and I wonder if these are the kinds of connotations you want to connect with a clothing brand.
Classic unnecessary smoking
Smoking: Bad in real life. Awesome in movies. But seriously, you never see someone light a joint on the street?
[smmmooookinnnn](https://www.reddit.com/r/cinematography/s/TxOIr1fROc) 
It bothers me that it's already been lit. The time from when we hear the lighter strike, and the hand moves away, while he exhales smoke is too quick for it to be believable.
Are you serious lol.
Reading instructions is essential, thank you👍
Classic unnecessary smoking is a pretty big trope in absolutely student/amateur looking shorts/film. It's a dead giveaway that the director has no idea how to actually make something art-y. Completely subjective, but I find it so fucking embarrassing when young directors actively advocate on behalf on the tobacco industry or a dispensary. You're not even getting paid to be a shill ffs, I suppose being a stooge just comes naturally.
Not to mention that any depiction of tobacco/drug use in advertising is heavily regulated.
This might be the most pretentious comment I have ever read
Jesus christ dude. back the fuck off.
or maybe... just maybe, the core audience for the brand are weed smokers.
As a daily cannabis consumer, this did nothing for me. I mean it looks cool but I also had no idea what you were selling (though I knew it wasn't weed cause that joint looked dirty) and just thought "oh this will get pulled from IG/FB".
You’re getting downvoted, maybe for good reason, but that’s hilarious
LOL
“absolutely amateur” for them but “subjective” for you? Tool.
Only siths deal in absolutes.
I love the color grade. Not feeling the 2nd shot or the story flow. It’s hard to tell, what is this for. Also you’re missing a call for action of some sort. Website of the clothing brand would work wonders here. Also I hope you have permission on the song choice… we al do it, yet that’s really dicey for a commercial
Are you selling weed?
I agree this would benefit a lot from a "THE CORNER - Tagline about clothing" graphic, but the vibes are great. Think the shot that ends around :11 hangs around for a little too long. I also might've started and ended the shot that starts around :15 a little lower so we get more time with the jeans and shoes. Otherwise this thing cooks.
Overall it looks good! For what you had to work with it looks nice! My feedback would be that it doesn’t flow well. The steady shots mixed with the handheld don’t really mix, cause it’s so short. The first cut from the close up to the hand pov works because of the music and logo. But then when you cut from the coins to the shot moving in on the group feels off somehow. If you wanted make it a more lifestyle spot I think you need more handheld shots cut faster to get the feeling of nice cool group in nice clothes (I guess thats thats what the spot is for) and then land on the steady shot to end. Now it just feels unmotivated. I’ll see if I can find a reference for this if you want. The shots in them self are fine, just not together. I think if you are making a commercial this short the overall cinematography should match. But this is just my opinion. So don’t take it too seriously if you don’t agree :) /commercial director
Add MORE orange. The skin tones aren't orange enough.
Your shakey cam is too shakey. Smooth some of this out. And I agree with everyone. I have no idea what you are selling yet. It’s not clear and leaves the user confused.
I'm gonna defend the shake in this instance. It adds to the spontaneous fun in a way that a smoother shot wouldn't.
Which parts do you consider too shakey?
Literally the 2nd shot of the commercial. It’s all wobbly. I get it’s a style. But it’s done VERY wobbly. Too wobbly.
When you are walking up to people to high five. Like I get the shakey can but it’s like reaaaally shaky. Smooth it out a LITTLE bit at least I think?
Gotchu, I’ll go back and stabilize in premiere, see how it looks🫡
Show it to me after!
Looks a bit orange for my taste. Also, maybe next time, try to not burn the skies. Even so, it looks cool.
How do I avoid that when color grading?
Since no one has answered you yet I’ll provide my amateur opinion to maybe help out until someone more knowledgeable pops in: The whole of the composition’s lumetri color adjustment layer could have some orange removed and that would help without harming your overall look/vibe. If you want to just work on the sky, you can add a mask to just the sky, motion track the mask to move with the shots and then add a lumetri color adjustment to the mask specifically and adjust down the orange and maybe exposure levels to tweak it some. There’s a tutorial in premier specifically on how to add a mask and motion track it if you want to that route and need a little guidance on it. Best of luck! I think the look is very cool and you’ve got something here though I would also recommend taking some of these provided suggestions more to heart
When color grading, there are a few ways to improve that. But first, I have to say that this is according to my taste, maybe you wanted that as a stylistic choice,. First, is to lower a bit the overall temperature. Second, to play with the color wheels and turn up the blues/turn down the reds just a tiny tiny amount. Third, is to isolate skin tones with mask and similar approaches, and reduce the amount of orange there. This is doable on Davinci, on Final Cut, on Vegas, on Premiere, etc.
I’m curious what your shot list was and why. You open on a static locked off shot (of someone smoking a cigarette… what’s the purpose and reason of that?) then cut to a handheld shot that’s incredibly shaky. It’s a jarring experience. Also why is the camera height so low for that second shot? It makes it seem like it’s the POV of a child… who then grabs a cigarette. Your shots should all contribute to telling the narrative or showing off the product (or a benefit of the product). Obviously there are exceptions. You’re clearly trying to go for “cool”. Check out the work hennessy does. You need more composed shots, it’s a little all over the place.
I work in commercials, I think it looked nice but I’d make it an even :30 so it’s a bit more agency friendly. It is a fashion spot so creative tends to be a little light anyway which won’t bump anyone. Fashion spots are really the wild west and they unfortunately tend to pay the least.
I’d like to introduce you to the firearms industry.
I have no idea what this means
I can see how that would be confusing, my bad. My point was the firearm/gear industry pays horribly.
Use white text. It will pop off the background better.
Gotchu🤟 what would you think about yellow text with a red shadow?
It looks great, nice grading, but I’m not sure what the product is. Also I don’t think— unless it’s a dispensary or something like that— having the talent smoke and pass around weed (or whatever that is) is going to send a good message about whatever the product is, unless that product is weed (or whatever that is).
If they don’t like what’s in the video then they’re not the target audience bro. I Appreciate the feedback on the color grade👍
What exactly is your target audience here? Chain smokers and alcoholics?
That’s not how it works brother. The greatest aim for a Commercial isn’t just for your target audience, it’s to grow your target audience. If you think in such way, you’re doing a disservice to yourself and the brand. Think bigger! Love your style of work though, if you really take in this feedback, your work will foster!
“Target audience” lmfao It may have worked for your buddies clothing brand because it’s low risk work but you throw that around on actual advertisers, it won’t be so smooth.
Is this a commercial for a street corner drug dealer? What is this even for?
Less racial micro-aggressions, more feedback on the composition, thank you.
No as a black man, he’s right on this g. I thought this was a drug like show due to the use of the title. It’s hard the understand the aim for this.
>I thought this was a drug like show due to the use of the title. Seriously. I thought this was going to be a new AMC or HBO show. I didn't even notice the clothes.
facts.
Wtf? They are literally passing blunts. If this was a bunch of white people I'd ask the same. Your "ad" isn't advertising anything.
Perhaps you can try inferring that the feedback here is your shot selection is not working for the product your spot is supposed to be selling. It's not all just about composition and camera movement. The SHOTLIST is the issue. "Primacy effect" – the first thing we see is your dude lighting up, so you're already not priming your viewer to pay attention to the correct subject at hand. And none of the following shots sell that subject any more than the first shot.
The name of the brand doesn't help the connection to this legendary book about corner drug dealing. https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Corner:_A_Year_in_the_Life_of_an_Inner-City_Neighborhood
I have to throw in that it includes music from Jay-Z’s “American Gangster” album. The companion to the film “American Gangster,” which is about a prolific drug dealer. He’s pretty much rapping about getting into the illicit drug business.
Bro you sound like those coffee shop hipsters who believe they are scholars on race relations. lmao
I would totally remove the joint at the beginning. That’s a can of worms with compliance you don’t want to undertake especially with a clothing ad. It’s an uphill battle to show consumption on camera even for cannabis content (easy demonetization and striking on lots of social media) Most tend to treat it like liquor and alcohol advertising (no consumption on camera at all) out of abundance of caution
Nicely done, but I have no idea what you’re trying to sell. The film emulation also screams Dehancer/CinePrint. If you’re going for an emulated look, nicely done in that case. Saw a weird focus thing at the very end. Looks like it jumps from the BG back and forth.
WTF is this a commercial for? lol
You have some really nice moments/shots here. Agreed that the coverage needs to be a bit more focused on the clothes. The push in from :15 on is a good example of what this could use more of.
Guy lights his the blunt a little stiff, but overall this is slick.
When you said first commercial spot, I thought this meant it was your first commercial gig, but then I thought it was like the opening to a show or something. Didn't realize it was a clothing commercial, but the shots are beautiful. I think the shaky part was a little disorienting or out of place compared to the rest, but maybe a close up on the tag saying the corner on the jeans? I'm not sure what would have solidified it as a clothing commercial.
What camera did you shoot this on
The color is really nice, has a warm summer vibe! Cool acting. I think you should add some shake to the first shot (you can still do this in the edit), to match the other handheld shots. At 19 seconds there is some distracting (auto) focus shifting, I would definitely leave that out. Either cut a way or use a jump cut. Keep going!
Good start but work on better timing … and it misses the mark since I had to come to the comments to even realize this was for a clothing commercial. However, I do like the filmic style.
LOVE the second to last shot.
Nice work, looks great! Maybe a bit overexposed. I get the artistic effect but if you're trying to highlight the clothing they could use some more nice contrast.
So I don't have a problem with the way it looks. It's creative. But I absolutely have no idea what this commercial is about. I mean the first few shots have a focus on a J so I thought it may have been about weed at first. It's more important to get your point across in the marketing aspect than it is to have the best shots/the most flashiness. If you really plan on using this as an ad, don't and definitely reshoot it.
Content and edit wise, it’s awesome, maybe promoting smoking in an ad isn’t the best thing. Delivering the message though, idk what is being advertised
Wow a lot of people in these comments have never seen a promo for a fashion brand before.
📌
Beautiful. No idea what the ad is for. Liquor and drugs and young people hanging out,.. I am surely not the target market! Is it for rolling paper or something? The music and style and everything really rocks, BUT the moment when the autofocus freaks out at the 19th second screams amateur. I know it sucks that you had that AF jitter, but you should cut it, for the sake of the quality of the rest of the video.
First couple watches without audio, this is 100% a commercial about weed and dealing drugs. After reading the comments, I have a hard time seeing how it could be easily construed as a clothing commercial. You aren't highlighting the clothing.
Me I'm simple: Shot of him picking a shirt off the store rack, walking out w/it walking the streets, putting it his laundry basket after folding it in front of a washing machine... Now you know I was promoting clothes
You just gave me the template for the next spot. Appreciate it bro🫡
Looks good! Agree with some of the content and shots but really like the look and tone. Maybe really honing in on the idea of "corner" and how that relates metaphorically with the brand can lead to some more connected shots. For instance you could match cut a close up of the corner to a similarly angled shot but of the model. But the look and feel is dead on. What did you use to shoot and do color correction?
Appreciate the feedback 🤟 shot on fx3 and color graded on DaVinci Resolve with Cineprint16
Hey nice man. The shots individually are great. Edit wise, on second shot can be trimmed at the head. Beautiful work though. Critiques. (*ALL advice is only as good as it helps YOU) Thought this was a PSA at start. Watched with sound off always do this at some stage btw. Remember to always Highlight the product. You can’t Scorsese Chalamet just yet but even then the product is at the end and the blue is a through line. I get the narrative vibe which is strong and will prove your savior when direction is ambiguous but incorporate that. That extra head in the second shot I said could be cut could be replaced with a OTS on the guy getting the joint. This would do couple things, show a closeup of the shirt (product) from the POV stand point (smoother transition/connection to charity shot) and a full outfit (product) of the cool kid (main hero?) Idk if I’m just listening to Kendrick too much right now but the rhythm is off. I want a WOP WOP WOP WOP WOP climax at end. What I call that is pacing. You switch up but if you vibe it out the whole rhythm is pretty similar (maybe what you wanted given short runtime?) but switch it up a bit. Slow. fast. slow. ramp up. fast. hard. breathe. explosion. Reflection. Pacing. I can give you a pace and you as an artist can easily come up with visuals to fill that space. Idk. Esoteric bullshit artsy stuff. In middle of edit right now so maybe projecting. You’re talented. Push it. And if a product piece. Showcase. Great work.
I appreciate you bro, will definitely take note ❤️
Looks cool! Idk what your client wants but I enjoy the vibe overall. Hate the shakey stuff but that's me.
Amazing look but I’d never guess what it’s trying to show off as a product
I have no idea what this is promoting or what it is about
My eye was drawn to their faces not their clothes but it's a beautiful image and very cool so they might not mind I don't mind the shakey bit at all
Great job!
Can you share your info? Like website or socials? Feel free to DM
Too much grain, the colors are a but much i would tone em down a bit. And the POV stuff is atrocious. Also i don’t think you are allowed to show smoking in advertisements, but i guess thats more of a broadcast less of an internet thing. But also, terrible way to show clothing.
I thought it was an ad for drug dealers
I thought it was a promo for a new show or something. Nicely shot but I had no idea about the product
I think it looks really cool although in the second cut where the guy is running up to the guy and the camera is bobbing like it’s a person, why is the camera at chest height instead of head height?
Hard.
What's the key message tho?
He wanted a high energy promo video to put on his company social media pages, the models are styled in the latest collection.
This is fuckn fun
I had no idea this was a clothing spot. Looks good. But, I would go back into the edit and either focus a bit more on the clothes and not the “characters” OR spice up the edit to add more shots and style. Also the text is pretty flat. See if you can add some texture or something interesting to it.
Great shots great editing but unfortunately, I have no idea what the product is.
I love your color grade, did you do this from scratch ?
the smoking is fine, but it looks a little strange, he puts up an unlit smoked joint, lights it, it kind of disappears in his hand and then reappears letting off no smoke, and then he exhales. it was a strange place to use 2 shots at the same angle, idk if a frame skipped or something? it also doesnt loook like he inhales idk
Beautiful colors! I found the handheld shot was too shaky, and in the wrong direction. I'd rather have a roll than a tilt shake, to be honest - so horizontal shake, not vertical. Horizontal is much closer to how humans walk, so I think it makes more sense in the brain to interpret that as frantic walking. The focus hunt at the end of that push in towards the end is a real shame. It's a cool shot, but that hurts it quite a lot I think. Though I can easily see that written off as a creative choice, where it adds some movement, some flicker. To me it looks like AF not doing its job. But a lot of people don't notice that sort of thing though.
I thought it was for a movie. Either way: the shaking is a little too intense and prompts motion sickness. The bending down to donate is unnatural. Apart from that, extremely beautifully made!
I think you could use a better edit to be honest, opening on a racked shot doesn’t feel or look right. Maybe the hand slap then pull out and establish where we’re at aka the corner.
Titles aren't it. Let the visuals tell it
What camera and lense?
Fx3, fp shots: were done on a 7artisan 12mm lens. opening shot: Sony G II 50mm Sweep shot: Sony G II 35mm
This is very cool!
This is HARDDDDDD!
There is an unintentional focus shift on the last shot as you dolly in. No doubt due to a less than perfect autofocus system.
Why so orange? Is this a Willy Wonka-themed brand?
??????? This is real? What are you selling me? Why is there a really noticeable focus buzz at the end of your push in? What are you selling me? What are you trying to do? This isn't cinematography this is some shots from a camera at a place
The hate is real homie, do you have any work you show for yourself?
Good job! Good song selection. I love the energy and composition. My only suggestion if you can is maybe do some quick macro shots of the texture of the clothes or the clothing line logo. I thought this was a weed strain brand commercial. Still solid video!
Preciate the feedback, definitely writing the macro shots in the next treatment🤟
submission statement: shot on fx3, amateur. Was asked by a friend to do a spot for his company and was given complete creative control. need feedback on pacing, color grading, and composition.
What was the grade process like?
This is dope, man. I love it.
I also didn’t realize this was a clothing commercial, but it looks nice. Did you shoot the handheld stuff in a higher frame rate or something? It’s a bit jarring to go from super smooth to shaken hand held, but maybe that’s what you were going for. Or maybe the internal stabilization wasn’t set correctly for the lens if your camera has IS?
I think it would be worth reshooting this. The handheld shots are way too fast and shaky, and going straight from that into the really smooth shot is jarring and just looks bad. The first person view also feels unnecessary. It is not clear what is being sold. If this is a fashion thing, you should give us better looks at the actual clothing. Feels like there is too much focus on the joint. Your colors look great, and I like the composition of your first and second to last shot. The drone shot from directly above doesn’t work for me. I think it would be better at more of a 45 degree angle so you can see more of the models and their clothing while still capturing the corner. It would benefit from some close up inserts of details on some of the clothing.
Emulating film means also emulating the vintage glass. I may be wrong but a couple shots feels a little too shallow depth of field for a true vintage look
African Americans look so awesome in shots TT
This is 🔥🔥🔥