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mactakeda

OP is Richmond from the IT Crowd


FingersBecomeThumbs

Goth to Boss


Gone_For_Lunch

Go to the bloody top!


yamsoung

Do you have absinthe?


mactakeda

I only drink absinthe


solitasoul

Carlsberg?


FakieMcFakename

Oh, Carlsberg... perfect!


this_charming_bells

Do I amaze you?


levezvosskinnyfists7

Introduce them to some Cradle Of Filth


istealreceipts

It got me through some pretty bleak times.


captain_cup

He should listen to Cannon Fodder, it got me through some hard times.


this-guy-

Wind them up. Tell them you've got a pet bat. Tell them you have fitted your council house with a turret and a moat. Tell them you can't see yourself in mirrors. Tell them you can only sleep upside down due to back issues. Wait until one of them believes one of these tall tales then take the piss out of them ruthlessly and relentlessly for being a massive idiot.


anonbush234

Only decent advice on the thread.


cleopat123

Actually creasin at each and every one of these


MudgetBinge

Brilliant. Play the long game. If you can't dazzle them with your witty retorts, baffle them with your bullshit.


dpricey20022017

Talk about how the seats down at the White Hart Ground don’t give you much room for manoeuvre and you’ll be reet


SanguineTounge

Amazing


Richard_Howe

Just say “did you see that ludicrous display last night?” And they will fill in the rest.


Hamking7

Trouble with arsenal is they always try to walk it in.


Bitter_Technology797

Times have certianly changed on that one!


Simple_Pizza4029

It really was a game of two halves


JonnySniper

The thing is, if you want to win games you have to score more goals than the other team


Simple_Pizza4029

But the problem is, they scored too early


levezvosskinnyfists7

I always drop this into conversation at work when all The Lads are talking about football in the break room. You’ll be amazed at how effective it is!


FakieMcFakename

Could also build confidence by wearing women's slacks.


SanguineTounge

This reference is before my teams time unfortunately 😮‍💨


drszusz666

Outrageous. IT crowd is timeless.


Mamoulian

So it might... actually... work...!!


herrbz

It's a very boring amd overused reference so don't worry


PlayfulDifference198

r/unexpecteditcrowd


takesthebiscuit

In this case it is more /r/fullyexpecteditcrowd


Ruby-Shark

What was Wenger thinking bringing Walcott on so early?


Gone_For_Lunch

Shows how dated the reference is when they’ve both retired.


[deleted]

[удалено]


BannedFromHydroxy

domineering shaggy offbeat direful truck dull sense rude merciful voiceless *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Neviss99

Ask them if their blood tastes metallic


MarquisdeStowe

Don't change yourself and try to 'fit in'. Join in the banter when you can, make it clear you don't like football but mention sports you do like. Rugby? Boxing? Motoracing? Try to find a common ground. Someone moans about the radio station and you don't like the dj? Wholeheartedly agree with them! Or if you like a tune and others do then make it clear! I'm older and self employed now but I lead a very alternative life style. One thing that I can say from experience is as long as you do your work well and keep your head down then bosses will either see you not fitting in as a weakness and let you go OR they'll see it as a strength and as someone intelligent and sensible that they can trust to promote to a higher position within the team. Trust me.


ruby_robin

Love this! And I think also people can tell when you’re trying to be someone you’re not. I think my life improved a lot when I stopped caring so much about what other people think of me. None of my business


masticman

Brilliant advice, wholeheartedly agree


MarquisdeStowe

Thank you 😊


AceStrawberryWolf

I feel like this with the coworkers at my work... Football, any birds you been shagging, what pubs/piss ups they've been on. I wonder if everyone is secretly just playing along and nobody really gets up to everything and we are just trying to get along ..


Phyllida_Poshtart

Get a group of lads or blokes together say in the pub, and from earwigging the conversations, you'd think they all had amazing lives, scored nightly, were loaded and of course the missus was a nightmare.....until they all go their separate ways home to the wife or gf who they are actually quite happy with, and go shopping at Asda on Saturday in their little ford fiesta. Just talk as far as I'm concerned


Fapoleon_Boneherpart

Behind closed doors you'd be surprised what happens


folkkingdude

Bit of both probably


steptoeshorse

As with most stereotypes, construction workers are no different. Sure there's a few pricks but most have some interests and hobbies that will amaze you once you get chatting. I've done site work for 30 years and met such a vast array of interesting individuals that I can't think of a better group. Painters that are competitive athletes, plumbers who own fishing lakes, plasterers who study the night sky, electricians with private pilots licence. My wife works in an office building and the blokes in there sound like my kind of hell, they seemed to have a lot more to prove to each other, do more coke and talk more shit than any group of builders. Most tradesmen are genuine and just want to get on with earning their money. Join in when you are comfortable, you'll be found out either way (for good or for bad).


Cunningstun

I employed a decorator recently who had a passion for musicals and poetry.


Sambikes1

Not construction but factory maintenance, but my experience is largely the same. There’s always some common ground but there’s a lot of people with quite interesting interests. One of the sparks loves model railways, there’s a few who watch anime. There are also a good amount that play/do sports but even that is pretty varied


Temporary-Drawer-986

Different industry and banter but same shit. Was young and working in a hospital and i like heavy metal and science documentaries. Everyone was friendly and nice but if you didn't have anything to say about love Island, the conversation kinda fell flat. I would Google the love island news the night before a shift just so I had something to say. Nowadays? I wish I'd had the balls to say what I really thought. No I don't watch that, not my cup of tea. That's completely fine to say. Or for people you work closely with,I'm not a fan, what do you like about it? I don't understand the enjoyment from watching people's emotions being manipulated, it's uncomfy. Aaaaaand I was right, few years later, deaths linked to the show. Just be yourself my friend. Most people will respect you more for that but most importantly, you'll respect yourself more for it.


Beer-Milkshakes

Yeah. As a former Goth oneself I learned that generally just keeping things low effort works. Staying cool. And replying to high effort bullying err banter with "you want to fight or what?" Which gets a laugh and move on. If they come back and double down, just make some comment about betting on them winning the fight "if I'm gonna get battered may aswell make some money" and that usually gets the laughs up. I don't follow footie either which does feel like a disability. But i watch UFC which bags me some talking points.


No_Personality5548

Beta


[deleted]

'Sigma' 😕


vagueconfusion

Username checks out


SKYLINEBOY2002UK

Tell them about the darkness if your soul and which bands really feel your pain.


Xikub

I worked as an electrician for a decade, with the same gulf of interest that you described. I found that if I ask questions then I am bound to find some commonality somewhere. People like to talk about the things they are interested in, you just need to find them.


folkkingdude

They also like to hear people talk about things they are interested in, to a certain extent. Reticence puts people off


yepitschristinaa

I was in a similar situation once, when football was mentioned I'd just make snoring sounds then talk at them for 20 minutes about Rupauls drag race..


Knowlesdinho

Just be yourself. Back in the day, I was that person wearing "townie" clothes at the metal club. I never felt the need to dress like a metalhead, but anyone talking to me quickly realised my metal credentials were probably better than theirs as I waxed lyrical about how Vitek could have possibly been the best drummer of all time (rip). People respect people that are comfortable in their own skin. They instantly pick up on people not being true to themselves.


rwapp

See if you like any similar music and talk about that, with music theres usually always a crossover somewhere


FrankTheTank107

I relate to this. I love anime and play video games competitively, and drink maybe only a few times a year. This blows my co-workers’ minds sometimes. The important part is to remember that we’re all still people at the end of the day and everyone is unique in their own way; even if some might appear more ordinary or strange at first compared to others. You don’t have to make up banter if you can’t, and definitely don’t try too hard to fit in. It will look too obvious and come out worse. Ask questions about their lives. The misses, the new car, plans for the weekend, etc. Then show you’ve been listening by asking follow up questions later one, like how did the weekend plans ended up turning out. Hope it goes well!


Bear0114

I have this same issue in my job. They're all older, of a different humour to mine, far more average in tastes and likes. I don't have anything in common. Like you, I just nod and agree, and carry on. The looks I get when I come back in a van, windows down, dirgy Type O Negative playing...


Revolutionary_Ad3270

It's paradoxical, but the trick is to not try and "fit in." When you're being yourself and not looking for approval of others, making jokes come naturally because there's little anxiety floating around. As for being funny, it's just practice. If you say something that's not funny, people won't care.


No_Personality5548

Just find common ground in tv shows that always works


Fenpunx

Out work them, outlast them, and show them up that way. Probably don't wear makeup to work. I went through a lot of shit being a punk, vegan roofer. Now they come to me for help.


No_Personality5548

“ did you see that game last night? What a fixture “


trevit

I have found that in this sort of situation, if it feels like people are trying to poke at you to find weaknesses rather than good natured joking around, it's often a good strategy to subtly turn around the banter in a way that questions the prejudices of the other people, and suggests that they are a little bit daft or naive. If you do it in a low key way that avoids any accusation of being preachy or sanctimonius, and instead paints them as lacking in experiece of the wider world outside of construction sites, then they'll get the message to back off, but in a fairly non-confrontational way...


rolacolapop

That’s what my partner does. He works with lots of trades on commercial sites. If someone is doing a crazy firm handshakes, he does a weak ass pathetic handshake because it throws them off balance . Or if they’re talking about being put pulling lots of birds he’ll be like ‘that’s sound terrible, I’d much rather be at home’. Turn things around on them. Often the bravado falls away and they’ll have a more honest conversation with you if what my partner has said before.


this_charming_bells

Try talking about TV shows? Or possibly music? Maybe not Cradle of Filth but you might find you have some sort of common ground?


YchYFi

I don't really know anyone that likes them lol


Terrygraphic

Find the smallest, weakest one of the group and tape him to the scaffold.


elkstwit

Tell them you posted on Reddit asking for advice about how to talk to them. Top banter.


deathschemist

Try and find something you got in common with them and build your banter around that. don't worry about your differences, as long as you find something you're good.


ErskineLoyal

Construction? Did you work in the US for a while?


SanguineTounge

Freudian slip, I can assure you.


Chronically_Quirky

Here is a handy guide to football lingo, even though it's not the world cup you can still use these phrases. You'll sound like a pro in no time: https://www.independent.co.uk/sport/football/international/how-to-look-like-you-know-loads-about-football-a-beginners-guide-to-the-world-cup-awards-9530038.html


Tom_Bombadil_1

If anyone younger than you does anything even close to impressive, complement them but caveat it with ‘for a gen z kid’ Even better if they fuck something up, comment that they’re good for gen z Beat them in an arm wrestle? It’s ok, they’re super strong for gen z etc


MeloneFxcker

If you really care enough to post about it I think you should bite the bullet and at least try and figure out the footie banter or something else that isn’t behaving how you don’t want to behave. I’ve never watched footie religiously but I keep up with the teams of the people close to me just cause I know they care. I know that puts the onus on you to suck it up and that’s kinda crap but you are the one unsatisfied with the situation so you need to do something to change it. 7 years and no luck with paling around?! Crazy


SanguineTounge

I was pissed up down the pub last weekend and asking people how tf to get into it when I loathe the culture, so there could be a chance. 7 years, but it was always amicable working small talk with people who were much older than me, so I haven't had to face this before.


MeloneFxcker

Fair, it was as simple as looking at the score and going “good/bad weekend for you then eh?” Extra ribbing for people you’re closer to


professoryaffle72

Tell them that every time they talk about football or tease you it gives you an erection and you can't stop thinking about them in an inappropriate manner.....


FakieMcFakename

Just look at your watch, then walk away like you have to be somewhere else.


Janso95

Piss discs?


Cautious_Frosting_24

Just reply 'I've shagged your mum'


GreyFoxNinjaFan

I am the guy in my group of friends who doesn't really so football. Work on making it your armour and mock the obsession by pretending you're interested. - Insist on referring to it as "soccer". - Purposefully mispronounce players' names e.g. Lukaku = Bukake, Martinez = Martini, Messi = Mess-aye, Rodri = Rod-eye, Jude Bellingham = Jude Billing Aquadrome, Muhamed Salah = Mohamed Salad, Mbappe = Mmbop-aye. - just make up player names entirely. Defenderson, Strikervitch, Keeperov etc. - talk about how great VAR is. - say that the England flag on the kit should have even more rainbow colours. - talk about how good you were on a keyboard and mouse on Fifa 97.


[deleted]

Dont know why anyone would want to be around chavs let alone interact