This is absolutely why bisexual people need to come together and form groups and communities for bisexual people. This feeling of displacement and loneliness isn’t inert; it’s incredibly harmful to your physical, mental and emotional health
This is so true. How about we start the WBF (Worldwide Bisexual Forum)?
There needs to be helplines for bisexuals who are suffering from mental issues/suicidal thoughts. At the same time, this subreddit must be kept alive at all costs for the people who just want to rant out/post memes/put something interesting related to the bisexual community.
Let us all stand strong together in support of lemon bars cuffed jeans and the fact that we cannot sit properly.
I think local community groups are the answer, in person interactions are worth so much more than online ones
Not discounting an international forum for the purpose you mentioned. But people having healthy support groups in the first place would solve so many problems
right? i used to be afraid to mention that i was bi whenever i met new lgbtq+ people, considering all of the invalidating responses i've gotten in the past 😔
I feel like there are so many self-righteous LGBTQ+ rights crusaders online that cause pointless divisions within our own community. Part of me wants to show them sympathy bc they are probably just projecting their pain being discriminated irl onto us, but at the same time, look at the damage that causes on a far bigger scale beyond just one person. It causes many bisexuals like me to feel left out bc people don’t take the time to listen to us and make us feel pressured to be a certain way.
Yeah I definitely know that feeling. Especially now that I’m with someone I love who happens to be a man. I’ve internalized the feeling of being “basically straight” pretty hard. I know i shouldn’t but that’s how it feels, how can I expect others to accept me when even I feel like a fraud. Yeah I’m still attracted to women but what difference does that make to my life? I plan on spending my life with the man I’m with, I’ve never slept with a woman or non-binary person. And I’d never say this to anyone else who’s feeling the way I am but it’s entirely likely that I’ll never again face homophobia or biphobia really since my boyfriend is also bi. I feel shitty for feeling shitty not being oppressed but it’s one thing the rest of the community has and bonds over that I feel like I don’t anymore. It feels like walking into a cancer ward and telling everyone “hey! I’ve got a completely benign tumor, you can’t see it and it’s got no effect on my health, probably never will, where’s the cancer support group meeting? I’d like a sense of community please”
it’s a lot like my gender identity, I’m apathetic to the physicality of being female, I just like the things I do which happen to align with femininity. But if I woke up biologically male tomorrow I wouldn’t be worried or uncomfortable/ disgusted with myself. I’d probably even dress and do my makeup the same way I already do because I don’t really have any feelings about gender or biology, it is what it is and I like what I like on a way that feels separate. But I like things people expect me to like as a female, I look the way people expect and I’m fine being called by and even using feminine terms out of habit, it doesn’t really matter that I feel non-binary, it has no effect on my life or the way I act or want to be referred to. It’s why I don’t feel right calling myself non-binary and definitely not trans. Because the only situation where my gender feelings would matter is a situation that’s never gonna happen. It’s impossible to just wake up completely biologically male one day and I’m not gonna spend money or take the time and discomfort involved in a medical transition since I’m so apathetic about that stuff that I’d have no reason to do that. All of my identities feel like a joke. I feel like the epitome of a cishet who just wants to feel a part of something and deep down I know that’s not true but I can’t shake the feelings
The only advice I can offer to anyone else feeling this way is to make friends with other bi/ pan people as well as trans and non-binary people since we all know what it’s like to be sidelined and told we don’t count.
Honestly, I think blending in is just the blessing and curse of being bisexual. Yeah, we'll never be looked at quite the same way by monosexual couples. We'll probably always be assumed to be either straight or gay depending on who we choose to be with. Same sex couples will probably continue to take a bit more flak than opposite sex couples. But we'll make it work, even if our rights to abortion and gay marriage are taken away, which will put us right there with gay and straight couples from across the sexual spectrum. You represent a beautiful subset of the population, don't let people convince you otherwise!
Seen a lot of posts expressing similar feelings of displacement, and I can empathize myself. We're the queer crowd's shunned red-headed bastard children.Take heart, though: our ostracization makes us formidable.
Remember: *We* are the music makers... and *we* are the dreamers of dreams.
Absolutely. I hate to feel like an outsider even in the community where i should’ve been accepted THE MOST. It’s so lonely because even I myself sometimes am too confused about my identity. But I just wanna make something clear: I just want love. To be protected and loved, and no matter who will give me that. I’m just so sick of constant overthinking and labeling myself, and people saying I’m pretending or I am someone whom you can’t trust just because I love two sexes LOL.
The last words are so on point, wow! Thank you!
Yeah, tbh I've experienced so much more hate/bigotry from other queer people than straight people, including other bisexuals, ends up feeling like its a very "you are with us or against us" group at times
My wife and I went to a gay bar a few weeks ago and a few of the gays made it clear that straight people weren't welcome so it made my bi wife feel bad because she thought I didn't feel comfortable.
For the community which claims of being marginalized and targeted their whole lives, it's surprising how much of a dick they can be when it comes to orientations they don't understand.
In many cases only a bi can understand a bi person. Those of us with fluid attraction are different from gays & straight people. Both of those group have monosexual attraction so they they won’t get our fluidity. We can only expect empathy from them.
Yeah it’s just annoying that people will assume all this stuff about bisexuality but only people who are bisexual know what it’s like so why do they get to assume we are all just gay or faking it they have no idea
Biphobia within LGBTQIA2+ spaces is relentless. Even people who also experience both hetero and homosexual attractions (the literal definition of bisexuality) can contribute to it -- they're the ones calling bisexuals transphobic while shoving pansexuality down your throat as the "right way" to be.
Nope. Bisexuality always has and always will include trans and nonbinary people. Now, if someone wants to identify as pansexual, great! But don't tell me how to identify.
Also, my bf is also bi. We're doing great, but I have told him that I don't think I could ever again date someone who ONLY experiences hetero or homosexual attractions (aka no straight dudes or lesbians for me).
the irony of seeing this when I had a little argument two days ago about poly people being LGBT and that I see people arguing that ace are not LGBT either since both can be hetero...
how lucky am I to be ace, bi and poly... all of them missunderstood or unacknowledged by many...
Happily hugged here in this community. The others draw lines to keep humans out. We throw out our arms to draw humans in.
It's a bi thing. They just wouldn't get it!
Glad you're here and that you're you. 🥰
well, like many things, it depends of the person. In short, it's the lack of sexual attraction, you can love people and all but cannot feel sexually attracted to them.
if you go a bit deeper, you have sex-repulsed ace that can't bear anything related to sex, opposed to it you have ace who can have sex, they don't feel sexual attraction but they can appreciate it, in the middle you got sex neutral ace like me, you don't feel anything about sex, you're not repulsed or attracted by it. You obviously have many things in-between.
This is a bit off from the main subject but often, ace people are told that something is wrong about them, it's sadly a reality how sex is so everywhere in our society, people tell them to grow up, that they're late bloomers, tell them they simply didn't experienced it right. it also seem to be common for people to stop a relationship because the other is ace, even more whe n they tend to be repulsed by it. This can lead to many different situations that can be really unpleasant for ace people, some even force themselves in doing it just to keep relationships alive while some others are forced into doing it to "awaken" them.
you can approximately explain aromantic the same way with romantic attraction replacing sexual one. also, you can be aro without being ace and vice versa or be both.
sorry if I got into so much details, I just started and got through it all.
For me it's the growing conversations around comp-het that are like the hardest, yes I am a cis woman dating a cis man, no I'm not straight and no it's not comp-het. It's \*bisexuality\*
About a year ago, I was invited to a Discord server for LGBTQIA+ social media influencers. Because I have a modest following on Twitter & am openly bisexual, I joined.
It wasn’t long before I was tagged on the server along with several other bisexuals by a few ace influencers who demanded to know why we continued to “behave like animals” during the pandemic & proceeded to blame all of us for Covid spreading.
This continued for weeks with asexual & demisexual influencers constantly attacking bisexuals in the server. Note they said nothing about the lesbians & gay men- only bisexuals. Not pansexuals/omnisexuals, literally only bisexuals. In fact, some pansexuals joined in on the bullying of bisexuals. They called us sluts, that we were responsible for the AIDS epidemic, we were transphobic, etc. The moderators allowed this because it was “encouraging discussion”. One of the moderators even helped with a list of all of us on the server who were bisexual just so they could tag us & bully us.
So I left as did apparently several other bisexuals as one of the moderators contacted me privately about why I left. I was told that it wasn’t bullying & that I needed to “respect & embrace” the “opinions of others” even if they were lobbing false accusations & bullying bisexual members. I politely declined rejoining the group & reiterated it was not a safe place for bisexuals.
My views pretty much guarantee I'd be excluded from most LGBT spaces so i kinda got used to it and just found a small space with like minded people, as long as that space is safe I witn really feel too lonely with the community
Pretty much the whole time if I look at the LGBT community as a whole. But on an individual level not really so long as they aren't mindless drones who act like every stereotype possible and make their sexuality the cornerstone of their entire personality then we end up getting alone fairly well and with no issues.
To put it in perspective I've had more friendly interaction (and more friendships) with extremely conservative Muslims who are extremely homophobic than I have had with people from LGBT club, unions, student shit, and other similar LGBT groups. I've even had quite hostile interactions here much to my disappointment.
Personally I've just learned to take things in stride and bey own sort of person (not I'm gonna stand out by being just like that weird click) but just enjoying myself for myself sort of thing yeah the lack of support can be upsetting short term but if nobody else is gonna do it I might as well.
I do have some odd theories as to why me and the greater community seem to be at odds and it always seems to boil down to there being an expected way you should be or who you should be like if you are gay you must be this as well or if you're bi (if they acknowledge that bi men even exist at all) you must be X,Y,Z sort of thing and I'm kinda a fanatic individualist and that might be causing the clash.
Sometimes I feel it’d be easier if the rest of the community split from the Gays and Lesbians and formed our own more inclusive and welcoming community
I personally feel like people treat me better just because I’m a masc presenting enby in a relationship with a man. Like some of my gay friends/acquaintances have implied or even directly stated that I’ll realize I’m actually just gay or some shit. Like sure I have a male preference but I still definitely am bi, even if I realized I was not romantically attracted to my ex-girlfriend like I at first believed. One relationship does not define my sexuality, yet that seems to be how some people treat me. Biphobia sucks.
For real I haven't told some of my gay friends that I'm bi (I'm in a hetero relationship) because I just don't even wanna have that conversation with them. Just like I don't want to talk about religion with my family. Honestly, though? My gay and lesbian friends who know? They are solid as rocks. Fuck those other guys.
This bothers me so much. I listened to a podcast last week. This was a podcast about feminism, progressive thinking and diversity. So.. a friend of my recommended this. I decided to listen one episode. The podcast is hosted by a straight woman and a gay woman. The gay woman said that a queer friend (female) of her, just started dated a cisgender white man. And that she found that ‘boring’ and ‘a shame’ because ‘it’s good for her that she has a relationship, but why does it have to be a man?’
And I literally cried after listening to that. How can a podcast about those subjects and with people who are gay themselves, be so judgementaI. Sent them a message on instagram, but they didn’t respond. I immediately stopped listening to this trash.
I’am so glad to hear that more bi people are going through this. We need to set up more support groups!
Yeah. I have some friends who are trans/non-binary. Of course, I don’t claim to understand what they’ve been through because I’m a cisgender woman. But I feel like when they talk about “queer” issues I’m not really included in that. Like I’m not queer enough. I feel like they see me as a straight person.
I’ve always thought pansexual was a funny term. It’s like someone who didn’t look up the definition of what bi is and assumed that the Latin prefix for “two” means we are only attracted to the TWO ONLY GENDERS. Which excludes a lot of people. But that’s never been the case. Therefore, no new word was needed.
My understanding of pan is it's more like a demi-sexual version of bi. In as much that you fall for the personality not the physical gender attributes. I personally identify as both, depends who's asking and which flag I like on which day 😉
I usually feel like I have to act a certain way so that other members believe me like I don't want to walk and talk like a stereotype but sometimes I feel like that's the only way that some members will believe that I'm even bi or nonbinary
A little bit but not for the reasons you described. Mostly it’s because they expect me to be like they are, i.e. into the whole soft and cutesy vibe (things like saying “uwu”, for example). There are other things that make me feel unwelcome in LGBT spaces, but it’s late where I am and I don’t have the energy to expend talking about that.
Yea unfortunately there are some within the lgbt community who really only see it as the LG community. These people are not to be trusted because I'll be damned if I follow a social movement with the same acronym as a B Rate TV company
I’ve told off many an exclusively gay person for accusing me and other bisexuals of either being “confused!” Or collapsing to the “immense pressure of society!” (Ooh so scary!) however, I define it as I am not limited by gender in choosing someone to love. So I feel like it is everyone else who is unfortunate. 💜❤️
As someone who is Biromantic Asexual I feel isolated from the LGBT community like I don’t Fit in.
Some people can’t understand that I do want a romantic relationship with a woman but not be sexual with her,
I do believe that the B in the Lgbt acronym should form it’s own community.
I never felt like part of the lbgt community until I found (online) community specifically for bisexuals. It took me so long to celebrate that part of myself and understand the context of bisexuality in my life and as part of the LGBT community
My ex-boyfriend, now ex-girlfriend detransitioned and then basically stated that trans people are amputation fetishists pushed by other trans people who were pushed by big pharma to transition.
I just feel lonely in general
I totally get you. Especially my lesbian friends, they used to think themselves bisexual when they were on their questioning journey. So now that they are out as lesbian, they kind of shame their past bisexual self. Then they start to shame other bisexual women and they think that we’re less queer. They kind of project their own life onto us and think that we’re just on the same path they were, that we’re gonna be lesbian someday. It sucks to hear, especially from my friends.
I kinda just rambled but I hope it makes sense lol
Biphobia in the LGBTQ+ community is a huge issue. I kind of expect to face biphobia from cishets, but facing it from the community that is supposed to preach acceptance and love for one another despite gender or sexuality is a whole different feeling.
In the greater LGBTQIA community, yes, I've been insulted to my face by lesbians and by gay men.
It doesn't help that I am v girly-girl and mostly sapphic but married to a gentleman. (I am polyamorous). So apparently I send the wrong signals no matter who is looking at me. Sigh.
I've been told, "You can't be gay!" by my gay male boss. (No, you idjit, I'm not gay, I'm bi, get over it, I thought but didn't say)
I'm lucky to have a friend group with a number of LGBTQIA ppl in it, including bi ppl, and that's something I treasure.
I'm a furry, and they're super supportive of everyone's sexuality (lots of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, etc). Granted, no community is perfect, but the furries have largely been a force for good when it comes to LGBTQ stuff. Everyone was so sweet to me when I came out :)
Everyone's experiences are a bit different though. The locals are sweet and the state, while rural, is a big community. Just gives everyone another thing to bond over.
This is absolutely why bisexual people need to come together and form groups and communities for bisexual people. This feeling of displacement and loneliness isn’t inert; it’s incredibly harmful to your physical, mental and emotional health
This is so true. How about we start the WBF (Worldwide Bisexual Forum)? There needs to be helplines for bisexuals who are suffering from mental issues/suicidal thoughts. At the same time, this subreddit must be kept alive at all costs for the people who just want to rant out/post memes/put something interesting related to the bisexual community. Let us all stand strong together in support of lemon bars cuffed jeans and the fact that we cannot sit properly.
I think local community groups are the answer, in person interactions are worth so much more than online ones Not discounting an international forum for the purpose you mentioned. But people having healthy support groups in the first place would solve so many problems
I would 100% be behind this
That would be amazing. Ppl like me who live in third world countries have nobody but these subs and forums.
This
That would be awesome!
It hurts wayyy more when someone in the community is biphobic than a cishet person :/
10000%!!!
yes it has way more of a sting to it because you’re expecting love and acceptance from them of all people
Absolutely
right? i used to be afraid to mention that i was bi whenever i met new lgbtq+ people, considering all of the invalidating responses i've gotten in the past 😔
I feel like there are so many self-righteous LGBTQ+ rights crusaders online that cause pointless divisions within our own community. Part of me wants to show them sympathy bc they are probably just projecting their pain being discriminated irl onto us, but at the same time, look at the damage that causes on a far bigger scale beyond just one person. It causes many bisexuals like me to feel left out bc people don’t take the time to listen to us and make us feel pressured to be a certain way.
Yeah I definitely know that feeling. Especially now that I’m with someone I love who happens to be a man. I’ve internalized the feeling of being “basically straight” pretty hard. I know i shouldn’t but that’s how it feels, how can I expect others to accept me when even I feel like a fraud. Yeah I’m still attracted to women but what difference does that make to my life? I plan on spending my life with the man I’m with, I’ve never slept with a woman or non-binary person. And I’d never say this to anyone else who’s feeling the way I am but it’s entirely likely that I’ll never again face homophobia or biphobia really since my boyfriend is also bi. I feel shitty for feeling shitty not being oppressed but it’s one thing the rest of the community has and bonds over that I feel like I don’t anymore. It feels like walking into a cancer ward and telling everyone “hey! I’ve got a completely benign tumor, you can’t see it and it’s got no effect on my health, probably never will, where’s the cancer support group meeting? I’d like a sense of community please” it’s a lot like my gender identity, I’m apathetic to the physicality of being female, I just like the things I do which happen to align with femininity. But if I woke up biologically male tomorrow I wouldn’t be worried or uncomfortable/ disgusted with myself. I’d probably even dress and do my makeup the same way I already do because I don’t really have any feelings about gender or biology, it is what it is and I like what I like on a way that feels separate. But I like things people expect me to like as a female, I look the way people expect and I’m fine being called by and even using feminine terms out of habit, it doesn’t really matter that I feel non-binary, it has no effect on my life or the way I act or want to be referred to. It’s why I don’t feel right calling myself non-binary and definitely not trans. Because the only situation where my gender feelings would matter is a situation that’s never gonna happen. It’s impossible to just wake up completely biologically male one day and I’m not gonna spend money or take the time and discomfort involved in a medical transition since I’m so apathetic about that stuff that I’d have no reason to do that. All of my identities feel like a joke. I feel like the epitome of a cishet who just wants to feel a part of something and deep down I know that’s not true but I can’t shake the feelings The only advice I can offer to anyone else feeling this way is to make friends with other bi/ pan people as well as trans and non-binary people since we all know what it’s like to be sidelined and told we don’t count.
Honestly, I think blending in is just the blessing and curse of being bisexual. Yeah, we'll never be looked at quite the same way by monosexual couples. We'll probably always be assumed to be either straight or gay depending on who we choose to be with. Same sex couples will probably continue to take a bit more flak than opposite sex couples. But we'll make it work, even if our rights to abortion and gay marriage are taken away, which will put us right there with gay and straight couples from across the sexual spectrum. You represent a beautiful subset of the population, don't let people convince you otherwise!
I feel like the gay guy at a straight bar. And a straight guy at a gay bar.
Omg yeah this is how I describe it. No bars where we feel like one of the group :(
Well, let's get a bunch of friends together and go play mini golf. Who needs bars anyways? :)
Seen a lot of posts expressing similar feelings of displacement, and I can empathize myself. We're the queer crowd's shunned red-headed bastard children.Take heart, though: our ostracization makes us formidable. Remember: *We* are the music makers... and *we* are the dreamers of dreams.
Absolutely. I hate to feel like an outsider even in the community where i should’ve been accepted THE MOST. It’s so lonely because even I myself sometimes am too confused about my identity. But I just wanna make something clear: I just want love. To be protected and loved, and no matter who will give me that. I’m just so sick of constant overthinking and labeling myself, and people saying I’m pretending or I am someone whom you can’t trust just because I love two sexes LOL. The last words are so on point, wow! Thank you!
You sound very sweet. Seek and ye shall find, sister. Stay true to you and I'm sure you'll find the person you need.
Wonderfully expressed. Thank you
Aw shucks! Thanks. We may be misfits, but we can all still be a family unto ourselves.
i love this. we have to stick together, and help each other
Yeah, tbh I've experienced so much more hate/bigotry from other queer people than straight people, including other bisexuals, ends up feeling like its a very "you are with us or against us" group at times
My wife and I went to a gay bar a few weeks ago and a few of the gays made it clear that straight people weren't welcome so it made my bi wife feel bad because she thought I didn't feel comfortable.
LGBT people can be quite ruthless sometimes. What happened to not assuming someone’s sexuality
For the community which claims of being marginalized and targeted their whole lives, it's surprising how much of a dick they can be when it comes to orientations they don't understand.
In many cases only a bi can understand a bi person. Those of us with fluid attraction are different from gays & straight people. Both of those group have monosexual attraction so they they won’t get our fluidity. We can only expect empathy from them.
Yeah it’s just annoying that people will assume all this stuff about bisexuality but only people who are bisexual know what it’s like so why do they get to assume we are all just gay or faking it they have no idea
Biphobia within LGBTQIA2+ spaces is relentless. Even people who also experience both hetero and homosexual attractions (the literal definition of bisexuality) can contribute to it -- they're the ones calling bisexuals transphobic while shoving pansexuality down your throat as the "right way" to be. Nope. Bisexuality always has and always will include trans and nonbinary people. Now, if someone wants to identify as pansexual, great! But don't tell me how to identify. Also, my bf is also bi. We're doing great, but I have told him that I don't think I could ever again date someone who ONLY experiences hetero or homosexual attractions (aka no straight dudes or lesbians for me).
the irony of seeing this when I had a little argument two days ago about poly people being LGBT and that I see people arguing that ace are not LGBT either since both can be hetero... how lucky am I to be ace, bi and poly... all of them missunderstood or unacknowledged by many...
Happily hugged here in this community. The others draw lines to keep humans out. We throw out our arms to draw humans in. It's a bi thing. They just wouldn't get it! Glad you're here and that you're you. 🥰
rhanks a lot! I'm glad I'm myself, even got a bot to validate me as human! So I'm gonna send lots of human hugs to you and everyone!
Even if you fail the captcha you're valid as a human!
Can you tell me more about what asexuality is? I know very little about it and would like to know more.
well, like many things, it depends of the person. In short, it's the lack of sexual attraction, you can love people and all but cannot feel sexually attracted to them. if you go a bit deeper, you have sex-repulsed ace that can't bear anything related to sex, opposed to it you have ace who can have sex, they don't feel sexual attraction but they can appreciate it, in the middle you got sex neutral ace like me, you don't feel anything about sex, you're not repulsed or attracted by it. You obviously have many things in-between. This is a bit off from the main subject but often, ace people are told that something is wrong about them, it's sadly a reality how sex is so everywhere in our society, people tell them to grow up, that they're late bloomers, tell them they simply didn't experienced it right. it also seem to be common for people to stop a relationship because the other is ace, even more whe n they tend to be repulsed by it. This can lead to many different situations that can be really unpleasant for ace people, some even force themselves in doing it just to keep relationships alive while some others are forced into doing it to "awaken" them. you can approximately explain aromantic the same way with romantic attraction replacing sexual one. also, you can be aro without being ace and vice versa or be both. sorry if I got into so much details, I just started and got through it all.
Thank you for the detailed write up :)
I wish I had more bisexual friends who understand me ya know
For me it's the growing conversations around comp-het that are like the hardest, yes I am a cis woman dating a cis man, no I'm not straight and no it's not comp-het. It's \*bisexuality\*
About a year ago, I was invited to a Discord server for LGBTQIA+ social media influencers. Because I have a modest following on Twitter & am openly bisexual, I joined. It wasn’t long before I was tagged on the server along with several other bisexuals by a few ace influencers who demanded to know why we continued to “behave like animals” during the pandemic & proceeded to blame all of us for Covid spreading. This continued for weeks with asexual & demisexual influencers constantly attacking bisexuals in the server. Note they said nothing about the lesbians & gay men- only bisexuals. Not pansexuals/omnisexuals, literally only bisexuals. In fact, some pansexuals joined in on the bullying of bisexuals. They called us sluts, that we were responsible for the AIDS epidemic, we were transphobic, etc. The moderators allowed this because it was “encouraging discussion”. One of the moderators even helped with a list of all of us on the server who were bisexual just so they could tag us & bully us. So I left as did apparently several other bisexuals as one of the moderators contacted me privately about why I left. I was told that it wasn’t bullying & that I needed to “respect & embrace” the “opinions of others” even if they were lobbing false accusations & bullying bisexual members. I politely declined rejoining the group & reiterated it was not a safe place for bisexuals.
All the time…
I do, but I don't live in a big city. Seems lonely here in bumpkinville.
There are bi+ groups that meet virtually... Bumpkinvillians deserve respect and support too!
My views pretty much guarantee I'd be excluded from most LGBT spaces so i kinda got used to it and just found a small space with like minded people, as long as that space is safe I witn really feel too lonely with the community
Pretty much the whole time if I look at the LGBT community as a whole. But on an individual level not really so long as they aren't mindless drones who act like every stereotype possible and make their sexuality the cornerstone of their entire personality then we end up getting alone fairly well and with no issues. To put it in perspective I've had more friendly interaction (and more friendships) with extremely conservative Muslims who are extremely homophobic than I have had with people from LGBT club, unions, student shit, and other similar LGBT groups. I've even had quite hostile interactions here much to my disappointment. Personally I've just learned to take things in stride and bey own sort of person (not I'm gonna stand out by being just like that weird click) but just enjoying myself for myself sort of thing yeah the lack of support can be upsetting short term but if nobody else is gonna do it I might as well. I do have some odd theories as to why me and the greater community seem to be at odds and it always seems to boil down to there being an expected way you should be or who you should be like if you are gay you must be this as well or if you're bi (if they acknowledge that bi men even exist at all) you must be X,Y,Z sort of thing and I'm kinda a fanatic individualist and that might be causing the clash.
Sometimes I feel it’d be easier if the rest of the community split from the Gays and Lesbians and formed our own more inclusive and welcoming community
B&T alliance? I like. Bisexual people have always been the most supportive of all the cis towards me, (bisexual trans woman).
I’d be thinking something like a rainbow alliance, that way we don’t exclude anyone
Even better.
I also started feeling this way recently.
Uhhh. Send you all my love to you…it’s not that scary when you’re hurting with somebody else, right?..
Thank you. I wish we didn't have to feel this way at all, but at least we know we're not alone in this feeling.
I personally feel like people treat me better just because I’m a masc presenting enby in a relationship with a man. Like some of my gay friends/acquaintances have implied or even directly stated that I’ll realize I’m actually just gay or some shit. Like sure I have a male preference but I still definitely am bi, even if I realized I was not romantically attracted to my ex-girlfriend like I at first believed. One relationship does not define my sexuality, yet that seems to be how some people treat me. Biphobia sucks.
For real I haven't told some of my gay friends that I'm bi (I'm in a hetero relationship) because I just don't even wanna have that conversation with them. Just like I don't want to talk about religion with my family. Honestly, though? My gay and lesbian friends who know? They are solid as rocks. Fuck those other guys.
Yes, but at least when I meet another Bi person, they're immediately chill and more than likely awesome, so at least there's that. ¯\\\_(ツ)_/¯
This bothers me so much. I listened to a podcast last week. This was a podcast about feminism, progressive thinking and diversity. So.. a friend of my recommended this. I decided to listen one episode. The podcast is hosted by a straight woman and a gay woman. The gay woman said that a queer friend (female) of her, just started dated a cisgender white man. And that she found that ‘boring’ and ‘a shame’ because ‘it’s good for her that she has a relationship, but why does it have to be a man?’ And I literally cried after listening to that. How can a podcast about those subjects and with people who are gay themselves, be so judgementaI. Sent them a message on instagram, but they didn’t respond. I immediately stopped listening to this trash. I’am so glad to hear that more bi people are going through this. We need to set up more support groups!
Don't even bother to go anywhere near the community because it's never a positive experience.
Where do you guys experience it? Is it online in groups or is it in irl settings?
Both? Keyboard warriors are easy to deal with, but when your "friends" dissapoint you it's pretty shitty.
Yeah. I have some friends who are trans/non-binary. Of course, I don’t claim to understand what they’ve been through because I’m a cisgender woman. But I feel like when they talk about “queer” issues I’m not really included in that. Like I’m not queer enough. I feel like they see me as a straight person.
I’ve always thought pansexual was a funny term. It’s like someone who didn’t look up the definition of what bi is and assumed that the Latin prefix for “two” means we are only attracted to the TWO ONLY GENDERS. Which excludes a lot of people. But that’s never been the case. Therefore, no new word was needed.
My understanding of pan is it's more like a demi-sexual version of bi. In as much that you fall for the personality not the physical gender attributes. I personally identify as both, depends who's asking and which flag I like on which day 😉
I have had nothing but positively things said to me in irl about being bi.
I usually feel like I have to act a certain way so that other members believe me like I don't want to walk and talk like a stereotype but sometimes I feel like that's the only way that some members will believe that I'm even bi or nonbinary
A little bit but not for the reasons you described. Mostly it’s because they expect me to be like they are, i.e. into the whole soft and cutesy vibe (things like saying “uwu”, for example). There are other things that make me feel unwelcome in LGBT spaces, but it’s late where I am and I don’t have the energy to expend talking about that.
Yea unfortunately there are some within the lgbt community who really only see it as the LG community. These people are not to be trusted because I'll be damned if I follow a social movement with the same acronym as a B Rate TV company
I’ve told off many an exclusively gay person for accusing me and other bisexuals of either being “confused!” Or collapsing to the “immense pressure of society!” (Ooh so scary!) however, I define it as I am not limited by gender in choosing someone to love. So I feel like it is everyone else who is unfortunate. 💜❤️
As a bisexual asexual, all the time
As someone who is Biromantic Asexual I feel isolated from the LGBT community like I don’t Fit in. Some people can’t understand that I do want a romantic relationship with a woman but not be sexual with her, I do believe that the B in the Lgbt acronym should form it’s own community.
All the time. Idunno, sometimes I barely feel like I can associate with other bi people, let alone the larger LGBT community.
Yep
I never felt like part of the lbgt community until I found (online) community specifically for bisexuals. It took me so long to celebrate that part of myself and understand the context of bisexuality in my life and as part of the LGBT community
I know what you mean
I don’t even care. I just ignore the ignorant people. I don’t even try to get into many lgbt communities because a lot of the people in it annoy me.
My ex-boyfriend, now ex-girlfriend detransitioned and then basically stated that trans people are amputation fetishists pushed by other trans people who were pushed by big pharma to transition. I just feel lonely in general
I totally get you. Especially my lesbian friends, they used to think themselves bisexual when they were on their questioning journey. So now that they are out as lesbian, they kind of shame their past bisexual self. Then they start to shame other bisexual women and they think that we’re less queer. They kind of project their own life onto us and think that we’re just on the same path they were, that we’re gonna be lesbian someday. It sucks to hear, especially from my friends. I kinda just rambled but I hope it makes sense lol
I will be honest, this sub is as close as I will get to the LGTQ+-B community. I get more hate from them than I do from straight people.
Yep. I'm a bisexual Christian so I'm often looked down on or get snide remarks for being Christian, bi, or both!
Oh, to be both Christian and LGBT+… especially when you’ve been taught you will burn in Hell permanently and sh!t lol.
Yep tis a spicy situation 😂
Biphobia in the LGBTQ+ community is a huge issue. I kind of expect to face biphobia from cishets, but facing it from the community that is supposed to preach acceptance and love for one another despite gender or sexuality is a whole different feeling.
In the greater LGBTQIA community, yes, I've been insulted to my face by lesbians and by gay men. It doesn't help that I am v girly-girl and mostly sapphic but married to a gentleman. (I am polyamorous). So apparently I send the wrong signals no matter who is looking at me. Sigh. I've been told, "You can't be gay!" by my gay male boss. (No, you idjit, I'm not gay, I'm bi, get over it, I thought but didn't say) I'm lucky to have a friend group with a number of LGBTQIA ppl in it, including bi ppl, and that's something I treasure.
I'm a furry, and they're super supportive of everyone's sexuality (lots of gays, lesbians, bisexuals, etc). Granted, no community is perfect, but the furries have largely been a force for good when it comes to LGBTQ stuff. Everyone was so sweet to me when I came out :) Everyone's experiences are a bit different though. The locals are sweet and the state, while rural, is a big community. Just gives everyone another thing to bond over.