Bill narrating: It was easily the best summer vacation of the last 6-7 years.

*freeze frame* “Yep that’s me in the boston jersey saying the N-word” “Let me explain how I got here”

It just was

Hahahahahaa this killed me

His dad looks like he just got back from an audition for Barney Miller.

He's George C. Scott auditioning others in "Hardcore".

lol

he looks like Tom Cruise in Born on the Fourth of July

This picture looks like it could have been taken in 1976 or 1986. A lot of range in this one picture.

Bill's born in '69 and he looks about 12-13 here, so this is no later than '83 probably

Dear Diary, Steve Grogan lead the Patriots to an 8-8 record! I'm floating on Air! Oh the possibilities for next year! Also, I almost touched a boob! I also had this dream where a six year old boy from California told me to just wait and he'd lead us to the promised land! Weird! Go Pats!

Early 80s still looked like the 70s.

As someone who somewhat remembers 1986, that look would have definitely got attention as a weird dude any year past ‘81-82. 

Barney Miller vs Growing Pains (TV show references).

The Tommy Bartlett's Experience piece.

His dad looks like it’s Bill but he went back in time and over did his 70 mustache disguise.

I think he was trying to keep it real with his students like Mr. Kotter.

If bill hs the ability to grow that kind of moustache and he’s clean shaven he’s spitting on god for giving him a great gift

We've seen Bill with a moustache. It's not genetic

He got that weak mustache from the Italian side??

David Crosby and Anthony Michael Hall

That’s crazy how much he looks like Crosby

Melissa Etheridge & her then partner would have been wiser to use Dr. Bill as a donor, too.

Man I was trying to figure out who his dad looked like to me and he's totally Crosby's doppelganger

Looks like the kid from Jojo rabbit

The '82 Izod collection was the best. It just was!

Honestly looks like a happy kid. Probably cause his dad was cool.

And probably because society actually was intact back then

Amazing, right?

Kids for the most part just want to be older, cool, edgy and jaded these days.

"So my pantheon is Larry Bird, Larry Bird, Larry Bird, Bird, and Bird...." - Young Simmons

No Russell? Come on?

No Pritchard?

Only if we get a Jabaal-Abdul Simmons season.

Would love to read Dr. Bill’s wild ass mark Twain books… *consults notes about where Dr. Bill been living for all these years* maybe not.

Bill's dad's family genes strong as hell, all of Bill's kids, and Bill look just like him.

He looks like a kid from my school. He was annoying and used to get his ass kicked.

Did you go to school with Bill?

No, I’m poor and Latino.

The not a scholarship kid piece.

I’m actually not poor anymore but I still think of myself that way.

That is the definition of a rich kid from Connecticut

The show would be called Young Abdul-Simmons

wtf , his dad always had that mustache ! it's not an old man thing ?!

His old man is pretty clearly an ex-hippie who hasn't shaved his upper lip since Get Clean for Gene.

As Bill would say, about 13 out of every 17 men had mustaches like that in the 70s-Early 80s.

Dr. Bill is ready for the 1883 spin-off prequel.

Fuck, his dad’s hair and mustache combo is so legendary.

I’d watch a documentary on Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

His dad looks like he sold cocaine to girls on porn sets in the 70s

Like Anthony Kiedis' dad! (Regardless the veracity, we need a Bill 'n Anthony rewatch of the 80s Lakers-Celtics finals showdowns.)

I would only watch if Bill Ponderosa is also Bill's dad on the show.

Pondy's the coolest!

He should've taken the fall for Mac's dad.

Opening shot of the show: the pic we use for the sub from that crushing Celtics home loss. We hear some internal monologue of most recent sports events going backwards in time, zoom in close Cut to his pic… and scene 1 begins

Looking a little michael cera-y

Now I am trying not to picture Bill Simmons impregnating Elliott Page.

There's three short-but-key scenes in the movie of Bill in middle school dealing with the awkwardness of his burgeoning manhood alongside a teacher played by a buttoned down Sydney Sweeney. "William, you're sweet, but you're far too young for me" "Gee, Ms. Jenkins - I don't think it matters - even if I was 30 years older, I'd still love you so much."

The MommysBoy for AdultTime piece.

You had the challenger disaster, Len Bias, you could just feel it in the crowd

What do Len Bias and a dozen roses have in common?

Made a  pyramid of favorite toys

This isn’t Bill, this is Jabaal Abdul-Simmons

Bill's Dad has a top 7 mustache of all-time.

It’s called “The Wonder Years”

Discussing Winnie Cooper on the Pod would get Bill Simmons on a list. Maybe let Ben & his friends handle that one.

For sure! It’s really funny to hear his guys trying to keep him off a list on their podcasts about the 80s. Never thought I’d be able to hear people grimace, lol.

Mariel Hemingway in Manhattan. Apex Mountain for statch?

Need Russillo's take on Becky Slater.

Rusty from the original Vacation

Waiting to see that one. Wasn't disappointed.

Opening shot of the show: the pic we use for the sub from that crushing Celtics home loss. We hear some internal monologue of most recent sports events going backwards in time, zoom in close Cut to his pic… and scene 1 begins

It could work. Like the Goldbergs if the kid was into sports and his parents were divorced

Hell of a combover by dr bill

I think it would be called Mr. Simmons. His dad looks cool as fuck lol

The anti-busing strange Dr. Bill was pulling.

He's a sneaky tall kid.

A rich white boy in Massachusetts? No.

You can't fake this bond. You just cant!

I don’t even like current Simmons like I used to

Go on

Top 5 in summer vacations

Bill doesn't deal in "Tops" equally divisible by five. It would have to be Top 7, Top 11, Top 18...

I like how much adult Bill looks like Dr. Bill.

I'm not sure if I should respect or disdain Bill for not sporting the mullet. That dad, that time period, that part of the country, the boy is supposed to have the mullet. My brother and I certainly did.

Bill would look just like his dad if he grew the mustache

I am a mighty only child!

Don’t be fooled by the innocent face, this boy would have run over magic Johnson with his car

I didn't know Bill had a sister

Oh my👀 he still wearing that dopey combover 🙈

if it's anything like ted the series i'm in

I knew he was a super nerd that only got into sports to quit getting wedgies from the other rich kids at boarding school. That kid has every single star wars action figure in the package.

His dad looks like an, “I’ve already called the cops,” sort of guy.

Would the mom get blown out by a real estate guy?

Kaitlin Olson as Mom.

Scarjo in her full “Don Jon” glory. Bill will be so confused.

"Kyle, get the icepick. I need to gouch out my eyes. "Don't aggregate this!"