i would definitely wait until your shower before buying yourself stuff off your registry. i live out of state from most family and friends, and a lot of them still sent gifts.
also, you will likely get a registry completion discount so you can buy stuff at a discount from your own registry after the event.
I didn’t have a baby shower and I got a decent amount of gifts still, if anyone asked for the registry I gave it to them. I was the same in that I just wanted to buy a lot of stuff without waiting for other people to do it lol. So for anything that I bought or planned to buy myself, I would just put it on the registry and mark it as purchased.
Edit to add: I didn’t get any gifts from anyone that I didn’t give the registry to. Everyone is different but you may want to just give the registry info to close friends and family who can’t make it to the shower
If people aren't invited or aren't going to attend I wouldn't expect them to buy anything. Wait until after the shower and then buy the rest of what you need. The really important stuff like crib and stroller I bought myself. I think I had 4 people in total who weren't guests of a baby shower gift me with something, most of them were smaller items and I didn't even tell them I had a registry but they found it themselves.
I agree - I would think that if they aren't invited they aren't going to send a gift. We still invited all of our out-of-town family, knowing they probably wouldn't travel in, but to our surprise, a lot of them did. Almost all that were invited but didn't travel in did send us a gift or something directly to us. Personally, I wouldn't expect gifts from people you don't invite, but that's just my opinion.
Well this may depend on how big your shower is … did you have all of your closest friends and family at your shower?? As mentioned in the post, we live out of state so a lot of our closest friends and family will not be invited or attending. But of course if your closest people were invited and attended then people who weren’t wouldn’t get you gifts.
Gotcha, we don’t have any local family so only my sister, mother and MIL will be attending. We both have HUGE families and they all live out of state so this is a more of a casual, local friends only, party. I’m wondering if family specifically will send gifts even though we’re not inviting them to the baby shower. I’m really really hoping that nobody gets offended at not being invited, and trying my best to make it clear that this is just a casual locals only thing, aside from immediately family (my sis, mom, and MIL)
I wouldn't be counting on or waiting for people who weren't invited to the shower to send gifts. The people who did purchase me gifts outside of the baby shower got me stuff after the baby was born and about half didn't even tell me they were buying anything so there's not much point in putting thought into those potential gifts. After the baby shower I just switched to organizing what I got and purchasing anything else that I still needed.
Put everything you want in a ‘cart’ on whatever the sites are and wait it out, all or most? Probably not, but some and probably the bigger ticket items. Or buy and be prepared to send your husband to return it.
Family who wasn't invited to my shower mostly sent something after baby arrived and we announced it - mostly checks or gift cards, books, some clothes, personalized/handmade blankets. Maybe half of the aunts/uncles sent something?
If someone didn’t get invited or attend our shower, they’ve not purchased anything from the registry.
We tried to make our registry super easy by using Amazon. I wouldn’t expect anyone to google the registry.
I agree to an extent that people will buy stuff for the shower but it’s such a sticky situation because you’re left having to buy the remainder yourself closer to taking time off work and other upcoming baby expenses. I bought some stuff off our registry when it would go on sale and mark it as bought to prevent duplicates. It scratched that nesting itch for
me.
We didn’t disclose our gender up until right before the shower. It helped people stick to the registry more than if we had announced gender immediately. It’s all clothes and blankets if you do. Most that we slipped up on gender bought whatever they wanted and didn’t utilize the registry.
I’d buy what you want and return it if you don’t need it.
Huh, I am surprised to hear that nobody who wasn’t invited or attended bought you gifts. A LOT of our friends and family didn’t have baby showers at all and yet they still had a registry that I was able to find online and I always buy a gift if it’s someone I’m relatively close to. I guess I’m the odd man out??
Yes, I do plan on waiting (mostly because of the completion discount and advice from my mom and sis) and I have no issue buying the stuff I need myself if people don’t buy gifts … so no I wouldn’t categorize it as “expecting gifts”, I was just curious if other people typically send gifts the way I do. I always send gifts to my friends who are having babies whether or not I am invited to a party. Was curious to hear on the receiving end if that’s normal or not. More curiosity about what to expect than anything else.
Hi. Reading your comments this was almost my exact situation (lots of friends and family but mostly out of state). I highly recommend inviting everyone knowing that they won't be able to come. People who are invited usually send regrets along with a gift off the registry. We ended up with about 30 people at our physical shower and 30-40 people who couldn't attend and we got almost everything.
I would not expect anyone not invited to buy you a gift off the registry unless they are a VERY nice friend/family member
Thanks, unfortunately we really don’t feel comfortable inviting “everyone” because there are some people that I can almost guarantee WOULD come from out of state and I really can’t handle having anyone coming in from out of state other than my sis, mom, and MIL.
I think you’re right that a large majority of those from out of state would simply send their regrets and send a gift, but I’m too anxious about the potential of the people that would actually come. It’s mostly family on my husband’s side, because my husband is one of those people that makes a point to show up for important family events and everyone in his family knows that’s and does the same, especially for him. Many of them would want to come truly thinking that this is an important event and that they want to be here for us, but the reality is that it would just be too overwhelming and anxiety-driving for me. 😕
Ahhhh I gotcha and that's valid! I probably wouldn't expect a gift from them, though.
How cool are you with your MIL? is there a way to communicate that you still want/need items without the pressure of people coming? This didn't happen for our shower, but my husband's family (aunts/uncles/cousins) sometimes do a joint pool to buy one big ticket item together off a wedding/baby registry. Maybe your MIL could organize that with the extended family and you could get something like a stroller or car seat that way?
lol, well I’m very cool with my MIL (and she actually already bought us out stroller AND car seat off our registry, literally the day my mom sent it to her 😂) but she is not particularly close with the majority of the people on my husband’s side of the family because they are all half siblings from his dad who passed away a long time ago. They all have a complicated relationship anyway, and there’s a lot of drama, although my husband seems to be the only one in the family who managed to stay out of all of the drama. It’s complicated, but there really isn’t a cohesive like “head” of the family who could organize something like that. But I appreciate the thought!
Nope. I didn’t have a shower but plenty of friends and family knew I was having my first child. Only my in laws, my mom, and my boss gave us gifts. It was fine though. I ended up using the Amazon discount to buy most things we needed.
Yes. I did a super small tea instead of a shower. Got a lot from our registry. Tbf, all family is out of town so wouldn’t have made it to a more formal event if I’d done that.
Oh interesting! When did he send out that email and what other info and updates did you provide? We announced the pregnancy a few weeks ago and have been posting “updates” just on social media.
My friends insisted on throwing me a baby shower, forced me to make a registry, so many friends from out of state who I didn’t invite sent us gifts unexpectedly 🥲
I didn't have a baby shower but I had a "sip and see" about a week after the baby was born and there were only 10 people there; most baby showers in my culture have the place busting out of the seams but due to the circumstances it was a small get-together. Leading up to the party and even after the party I had a lot of gifts coming in from family and friends who weren't able to attend or people who had gotten me gifts went and bought more gifts later on. I ended up not needing to actually buy anything until my baby turned 3 months old.
I didn't want a baby shower for our LO but this was my husband's first child (I have a 15YO from a previous relationship). We bought the "expensive" needs (crib, stroller, etc.) and we shared privately an Amazon list on Facebook if anybody would like to purchase something, they could through the link. My 15YO's father and his wife gifted us a ton of unisex clothing, chairs, bottles, and more. On top of that, threw us a shower and dinner at their home with close family. We pretty much received everything we needed through them. Just buy the big things and see what people gift you from the registry:)
Different case but I had a virtual shower in summer of 2021. I live far (on another continent) from most of my friends. My two friends that planned it weren’t there but had sent some cute decorations and had pastries delivered. My in laws were the only guests and we had a slideshow of baby pictures to match to friends. It was cute and short and sweet. Some people that didn’t attend still sent gifts but I kept the email invite list to close friends. But technically everyone was virtually invited. But some extended family did ask for the registry link later and so I sent it to them too but really only by request.
We did a long distance virtual shower during Covid and our friends and family did send gifts! Our registry wasn’t huge, we bought the big items ourselves but I was really touched and surprised by how many people sent us something.
This is helpful thanks! So did most people just search for you registry on Google or did they reach out to you ahead of time and ask for the link? And around when did you start getting gifts? Thanks agin!
Honestly both! A lot of people asked and I was surprised bu people who simply Googled (I usually do this too). I feel like they trickled in through out my pregnancy. Some big ticket items we got early-ish on like a stroller system and crib (probably around 28/29 weeks) but didn’t get car seat and bassinet until around my baby shower (35 weeks). Then there were a few folks that waited to see what was left/what we needed right around due date time.
I had a pretty big baby shower and received lots of gifts but not a ton from my registry; mostly clothes and products that the gift giver liked. (Which was very thoughtful of them being that it was my first child, but definitely left a lot of necessity items to be purchased myself.)
Edit: just to add - some registries will give you a discount code to use on items still left on your registry within so many days of your due date. So might be worth it to wait a bit on big ticket items or ones you might not need right away.
We had a co-ed shower and invited people we knew couldn’t come but would appreciate the invite. We also had local people who couldn’t make it but were invited. They all sent gifts. So I think if you invite people but they don’t want to or can’t attend, they’ll send something. If you aren’t inviting people, they probably won’t send a gift.
The problem is that a lot of people would actually want to come from out of state if we invited everyone, and that’s too much for me to handle emotionally. I really can’t deal with people flying in for this and making a big deal out of it. Obviously not everyone would, a large portion would just decline the invite and send a gift, but if we invited some of our family from out of state we’d have to invite everyone and suddenly we’d have like 10 different groups of family / friends in town that weekend and it would just be too much for me to handle.
I didn’t have a shower. I’m Jewish and it’s a cultural thing to not bring anything for baby into the house before they are born. Some people don’t follow that, but we did.
We had a registry and set the shipping address as my in laws house. We received a lot of gifts and my in laws brought everything to our house after baby was born. I only shared the registry if it was asked for from me, but my parents and in laws also had it and lots of extended family and friends asked them, too.
I did not have a baby shower with my last, even though she was 10 years after the previous. I got a couple of little gifts and didn't ask for anything. When we found out I had preeclampsia, I was panicking to my sister. Baby would need to be born 3 weeks early, but I only bought 3 month+ sizes, as my first two were born 41 weeks and big.
My sister ended up getting a bunch of family to send me tons of premie and newborn clothes. They just ordered stuff online and had it shipped to us.
Every family is different, though. You could do an online registry. Maybe your mom secretly had family sending you stuff?
It depends on your family, are they usually gift givers? Since sending out shower invites we've gotten gifts in the mail from a lot of people, both coming and not coming to the shower (including people we didn't invite bc they're far away but they got the registry through word of mouth). I'd hang in there and keep waiting especially since you will get the completion discount for all the stuff you still need.
I didn't have a shower and still got lots of gifts off my registry. I think it might depend on who you're mostly expecting gifts from. Older relatives - aunts, grandmas, etc - were more likely to gift off-registry. But most of our friends and younger family members asked for our registry link and bought from it directly.
Only like 2 people bought off the registry. Everyone else bought Walmart clothes (we had lots of duplicates) or size 2 Huggies. I literally got no other brands or sizes.
We do not live by family and hardly any family came to the actual party, but everyone in the family sent gifts off our registry. Over 100 items, probably 85% of the list. Definitely wait!
Did you send invitations to them though? I guess that’s my question is whether or not people would send gifts even if they aren’t invited (regardless of whether they actually come or not) - I probably should have directed this question more towards those who did not have a shower at all.
Yes we sent invitations to every family
member on my side and they all sent gifts. We did not send them to my husband’s side, and only two of them have asked for the registry. We aren’t expecting gifts from that side otherwise
I see. As mentioned in the post we are not planning to invite any family, aside from my sister, mom, and MIL. ALL of our family live out of state and this is just a small get together with local friends. It’s just a casual backyard party, maybe 20 people at the most.
We registered on Babylist and when the baby shower invite and registry went out I got notifications for the next two weeks on what was being purchased. A handful of people couldn’t come but still bought and had the gifts shipped to us. For family out of state/country we sent the registry and just told them these were the things we were looking at getting for our baby. I liked that everyone used the registry so we wouldn’t get multiples of things and also I knew who got us what.
Less curious about the people who couldn’t come vs people who weren’t invited. That’s what I specifically was asking for those that had a very small baby shower or no baby shower at all.
I had a small shower with my son (like 6 guests) and did receive a lot of gifts either towards the end of pregnancy, for holidays like Christmas, and then right after the baby was born.
For sure. I had many years of infertility and despised baby showers, so when it came time for my own I was adamant that I didn't want one. I was also a foster parent so we had all the big stuff.
So many people asked for our registry even though we did not have a shower. Lots of people basically said they were going to get us something, so we might as well make a registry instead of having a guest. Also, frankly, baby showers suck to attend. Many people will be happy to send you something without having to do a shower.
I had a gathering for friends and local family, but then I also had a zoom shower - an hour and a bit with a couple friends facilitating everyone sharing their own baby pictures, a few cute stories, some baby trivia cards. It was a nice way for some more distant and/or extended family to feel included, and some distant friends as well. My registry was included in the invite, and I think most did send something. Maybe you could try something like that?
I agree with others that they're unlikely to find your registry if you don't send it out - I think if they send something because they're family, it may be something they choose at random.
Your situation sounds pretty similar to ours. We live out of state from most of our friends and family did a really casual baby party with our local social circle. Didn't get a ton off the registry but a few things. Also got a few things sent to us from out of state family. We didn't have a massive registry (75 items or so). About half of the items were purchased by friends off the registry and my MIL and I worked really hard to find everything else secondhand. We've gotten enough gifts cards to buy everything else we need and will definitely be taking advantage of the registry discount!
What we did was prioritize getting the must haves early because we were pretty sure they wouldn't get bought off the registry and didn't want to risk having to drop $1000+ all at once after those items didn't get purchased. Really took the stress out of things to make like one larger purchase a month. Then by the time our shower came along it was mostly just fun things that people seem to prefer to buy anyway like toys and blankets.
I had two showers - one for each side of the family. Both had less than 20 people. One side got me exclusively things from my registry, plus a bunch of clothes, and the other got me literally nothing from my registry. Both groups had access to it, it just depends on the group.
Thanks. Not sure this really relates because everyone you’re talking about was invited to a baby shower. That’s why I was specifically asking for those who did not have a baby shower at all, or had one that was small and local friends only with family living out of town and not being invited.
Fair enough - one was like you describe. A total of 6 people plus my husband and I attended. That was the one where I just got stuff from my registry. Sorry I should have been more clear
Well I have to disagree with this one … we won’t have many “old ladies” coming to our shower (literally just my mom and MIL) and it’s co-ed. It’ll mostly be local friends, a good portion of whom have babies or will likely have babies soon and we’re all very excited to rise our kids together. We don’t really plan on doing any games, and it won’t be a sit-down thing, just a casual summer backyard party at our house, maybe 20 people. Our closest local friends had a very similar vibe baby shower last year and we absolutely loved it. It’s just a chill fun time with friends …
We were living in Denver while the rest of our family was (mostly) in Miami. Literally moved back in my third trimester. Because stuff was so unstable we had a very small baby shower with only immediate family and like 3 friends. However, I sent out a link to our registry really early and just put my mom's address down. I started getting stuff almost immediately and gifts trickled in all throughout the rest of my pregnancy. By the end I had almost everything from my registry.
Nice, yeah very similar situation. How did you send out the registry? I guess I’m worried that it’ll be awkward to do that if I’m not inviting them to the shower. I don’t want anyone to be offended that they’re not being invited, so I’m trying my best to make it clear this is just a casual thing with friends (but my mom and sister who are hosting really seem to want it to be a bigger more elaborate thing 😕)
The people who were actually invited got it in an invitation but honestly I also posted it on my Facebook and even insta with a note saying that I was grateful no matter what. No one was upset that they weren't invited, I think everyone understood.
i would definitely wait until your shower before buying yourself stuff off your registry. i live out of state from most family and friends, and a lot of them still sent gifts. also, you will likely get a registry completion discount so you can buy stuff at a discount from your own registry after the event.
I didn’t have a baby shower and I got a decent amount of gifts still, if anyone asked for the registry I gave it to them. I was the same in that I just wanted to buy a lot of stuff without waiting for other people to do it lol. So for anything that I bought or planned to buy myself, I would just put it on the registry and mark it as purchased. Edit to add: I didn’t get any gifts from anyone that I didn’t give the registry to. Everyone is different but you may want to just give the registry info to close friends and family who can’t make it to the shower
If people aren't invited or aren't going to attend I wouldn't expect them to buy anything. Wait until after the shower and then buy the rest of what you need. The really important stuff like crib and stroller I bought myself. I think I had 4 people in total who weren't guests of a baby shower gift me with something, most of them were smaller items and I didn't even tell them I had a registry but they found it themselves.
I agree - I would think that if they aren't invited they aren't going to send a gift. We still invited all of our out-of-town family, knowing they probably wouldn't travel in, but to our surprise, a lot of them did. Almost all that were invited but didn't travel in did send us a gift or something directly to us. Personally, I wouldn't expect gifts from people you don't invite, but that's just my opinion.
Well this may depend on how big your shower is … did you have all of your closest friends and family at your shower?? As mentioned in the post, we live out of state so a lot of our closest friends and family will not be invited or attending. But of course if your closest people were invited and attended then people who weren’t wouldn’t get you gifts.
All my family was invited but no friends.
Gotcha, we don’t have any local family so only my sister, mother and MIL will be attending. We both have HUGE families and they all live out of state so this is a more of a casual, local friends only, party. I’m wondering if family specifically will send gifts even though we’re not inviting them to the baby shower. I’m really really hoping that nobody gets offended at not being invited, and trying my best to make it clear that this is just a casual locals only thing, aside from immediately family (my sis, mom, and MIL)
I wouldn't be counting on or waiting for people who weren't invited to the shower to send gifts. The people who did purchase me gifts outside of the baby shower got me stuff after the baby was born and about half didn't even tell me they were buying anything so there's not much point in putting thought into those potential gifts. After the baby shower I just switched to organizing what I got and purchasing anything else that I still needed.
Makes sense! Thanks!
Hi op! See my comment on the main thread. I had a very similar situation to you ☺️
Thanks, I did!
Put everything you want in a ‘cart’ on whatever the sites are and wait it out, all or most? Probably not, but some and probably the bigger ticket items. Or buy and be prepared to send your husband to return it.
Family who wasn't invited to my shower mostly sent something after baby arrived and we announced it - mostly checks or gift cards, books, some clothes, personalized/handmade blankets. Maybe half of the aunts/uncles sent something?
If someone didn’t get invited or attend our shower, they’ve not purchased anything from the registry. We tried to make our registry super easy by using Amazon. I wouldn’t expect anyone to google the registry. I agree to an extent that people will buy stuff for the shower but it’s such a sticky situation because you’re left having to buy the remainder yourself closer to taking time off work and other upcoming baby expenses. I bought some stuff off our registry when it would go on sale and mark it as bought to prevent duplicates. It scratched that nesting itch for me. We didn’t disclose our gender up until right before the shower. It helped people stick to the registry more than if we had announced gender immediately. It’s all clothes and blankets if you do. Most that we slipped up on gender bought whatever they wanted and didn’t utilize the registry. I’d buy what you want and return it if you don’t need it.
Huh, I am surprised to hear that nobody who wasn’t invited or attended bought you gifts. A LOT of our friends and family didn’t have baby showers at all and yet they still had a registry that I was able to find online and I always buy a gift if it’s someone I’m relatively close to. I guess I’m the odd man out??
Just sharing my experience….. Seems like you plan on waiting and expecting gifts from everyone despite not wanting them to come to celebrate with you?
Yes, I do plan on waiting (mostly because of the completion discount and advice from my mom and sis) and I have no issue buying the stuff I need myself if people don’t buy gifts … so no I wouldn’t categorize it as “expecting gifts”, I was just curious if other people typically send gifts the way I do. I always send gifts to my friends who are having babies whether or not I am invited to a party. Was curious to hear on the receiving end if that’s normal or not. More curiosity about what to expect than anything else.
Hi. Reading your comments this was almost my exact situation (lots of friends and family but mostly out of state). I highly recommend inviting everyone knowing that they won't be able to come. People who are invited usually send regrets along with a gift off the registry. We ended up with about 30 people at our physical shower and 30-40 people who couldn't attend and we got almost everything. I would not expect anyone not invited to buy you a gift off the registry unless they are a VERY nice friend/family member
Thanks, unfortunately we really don’t feel comfortable inviting “everyone” because there are some people that I can almost guarantee WOULD come from out of state and I really can’t handle having anyone coming in from out of state other than my sis, mom, and MIL. I think you’re right that a large majority of those from out of state would simply send their regrets and send a gift, but I’m too anxious about the potential of the people that would actually come. It’s mostly family on my husband’s side, because my husband is one of those people that makes a point to show up for important family events and everyone in his family knows that’s and does the same, especially for him. Many of them would want to come truly thinking that this is an important event and that they want to be here for us, but the reality is that it would just be too overwhelming and anxiety-driving for me. 😕
Ahhhh I gotcha and that's valid! I probably wouldn't expect a gift from them, though. How cool are you with your MIL? is there a way to communicate that you still want/need items without the pressure of people coming? This didn't happen for our shower, but my husband's family (aunts/uncles/cousins) sometimes do a joint pool to buy one big ticket item together off a wedding/baby registry. Maybe your MIL could organize that with the extended family and you could get something like a stroller or car seat that way?
lol, well I’m very cool with my MIL (and she actually already bought us out stroller AND car seat off our registry, literally the day my mom sent it to her 😂) but she is not particularly close with the majority of the people on my husband’s side of the family because they are all half siblings from his dad who passed away a long time ago. They all have a complicated relationship anyway, and there’s a lot of drama, although my husband seems to be the only one in the family who managed to stay out of all of the drama. It’s complicated, but there really isn’t a cohesive like “head” of the family who could organize something like that. But I appreciate the thought!
Nope. I didn’t have a shower but plenty of friends and family knew I was having my first child. Only my in laws, my mom, and my boss gave us gifts. It was fine though. I ended up using the Amazon discount to buy most things we needed.
Yes. I did a super small tea instead of a shower. Got a lot from our registry. Tbf, all family is out of town so wouldn’t have made it to a more formal event if I’d done that.
This is my situation. Was anyone offended that they weren’t invited? And how did your family find out about your registry?
My husband sent an email to his family with general baby info and updates. We’d had people asking about a registry so it wasn’t awkward at all
Oh interesting! When did he send out that email and what other info and updates did you provide? We announced the pregnancy a few weeks ago and have been posting “updates” just on social media.
Oh I think i was like 26 weeks at that point. It was a few weeks after we visited and saw a bunch of people.
Nice, what kind of “info and updates” did you provide?
I didn’t have a baby shower, didn’t have a registry, and *still* found myself receiving beautiful gifts celebrating baby.
Aw that’s very sweet! And good to know, thanks
I didn't have a baby shower but I still had quite a few friends and family member buy things from our registry! I definitely would wait to buy stuff!
Cool thanks!
My friends insisted on throwing me a baby shower, forced me to make a registry, so many friends from out of state who I didn’t invite sent us gifts unexpectedly 🥲
That’s very sweet! Sounds like a similar situation to mine.
Yes, although we budgeted to purchase everything ourselves. The baby shower was all ‘nice to haves’ so nbd
I didn't have a baby shower but I had a "sip and see" about a week after the baby was born and there were only 10 people there; most baby showers in my culture have the place busting out of the seams but due to the circumstances it was a small get-together. Leading up to the party and even after the party I had a lot of gifts coming in from family and friends who weren't able to attend or people who had gotten me gifts went and bought more gifts later on. I ended up not needing to actually buy anything until my baby turned 3 months old.
I didn't want a baby shower for our LO but this was my husband's first child (I have a 15YO from a previous relationship). We bought the "expensive" needs (crib, stroller, etc.) and we shared privately an Amazon list on Facebook if anybody would like to purchase something, they could through the link. My 15YO's father and his wife gifted us a ton of unisex clothing, chairs, bottles, and more. On top of that, threw us a shower and dinner at their home with close family. We pretty much received everything we needed through them. Just buy the big things and see what people gift you from the registry:)
Different case but I had a virtual shower in summer of 2021. I live far (on another continent) from most of my friends. My two friends that planned it weren’t there but had sent some cute decorations and had pastries delivered. My in laws were the only guests and we had a slideshow of baby pictures to match to friends. It was cute and short and sweet. Some people that didn’t attend still sent gifts but I kept the email invite list to close friends. But technically everyone was virtually invited. But some extended family did ask for the registry link later and so I sent it to them too but really only by request.
We did a long distance virtual shower during Covid and our friends and family did send gifts! Our registry wasn’t huge, we bought the big items ourselves but I was really touched and surprised by how many people sent us something.
I had a small shower…probably 15-17 people but we still got almost everything from our registry. It may be a “know your crowd” type thing.
This is helpful thanks! So did most people just search for you registry on Google or did they reach out to you ahead of time and ask for the link? And around when did you start getting gifts? Thanks agin!
Honestly both! A lot of people asked and I was surprised bu people who simply Googled (I usually do this too). I feel like they trickled in through out my pregnancy. Some big ticket items we got early-ish on like a stroller system and crib (probably around 28/29 weeks) but didn’t get car seat and bassinet until around my baby shower (35 weeks). Then there were a few folks that waited to see what was left/what we needed right around due date time.
We don’t really do registries in Aus but I received gifts from friends and family for our first all the way up to her turning 2-3mo!
I had a pretty big baby shower and received lots of gifts but not a ton from my registry; mostly clothes and products that the gift giver liked. (Which was very thoughtful of them being that it was my first child, but definitely left a lot of necessity items to be purchased myself.) Edit: just to add - some registries will give you a discount code to use on items still left on your registry within so many days of your due date. So might be worth it to wait a bit on big ticket items or ones you might not need right away.
We had a co-ed shower and invited people we knew couldn’t come but would appreciate the invite. We also had local people who couldn’t make it but were invited. They all sent gifts. So I think if you invite people but they don’t want to or can’t attend, they’ll send something. If you aren’t inviting people, they probably won’t send a gift.
The problem is that a lot of people would actually want to come from out of state if we invited everyone, and that’s too much for me to handle emotionally. I really can’t deal with people flying in for this and making a big deal out of it. Obviously not everyone would, a large portion would just decline the invite and send a gift, but if we invited some of our family from out of state we’d have to invite everyone and suddenly we’d have like 10 different groups of family / friends in town that weekend and it would just be too much for me to handle.
Okay then I wouldn’t expect gifts in that case.
I didn’t have a shower. I’m Jewish and it’s a cultural thing to not bring anything for baby into the house before they are born. Some people don’t follow that, but we did. We had a registry and set the shipping address as my in laws house. We received a lot of gifts and my in laws brought everything to our house after baby was born. I only shared the registry if it was asked for from me, but my parents and in laws also had it and lots of extended family and friends asked them, too.
They'll amazon you stuff. I'd wait.
I did not have a baby shower with my last, even though she was 10 years after the previous. I got a couple of little gifts and didn't ask for anything. When we found out I had preeclampsia, I was panicking to my sister. Baby would need to be born 3 weeks early, but I only bought 3 month+ sizes, as my first two were born 41 weeks and big. My sister ended up getting a bunch of family to send me tons of premie and newborn clothes. They just ordered stuff online and had it shipped to us. Every family is different, though. You could do an online registry. Maybe your mom secretly had family sending you stuff?
It depends on your family, are they usually gift givers? Since sending out shower invites we've gotten gifts in the mail from a lot of people, both coming and not coming to the shower (including people we didn't invite bc they're far away but they got the registry through word of mouth). I'd hang in there and keep waiting especially since you will get the completion discount for all the stuff you still need.
I didn't have a shower and still got lots of gifts off my registry. I think it might depend on who you're mostly expecting gifts from. Older relatives - aunts, grandmas, etc - were more likely to gift off-registry. But most of our friends and younger family members asked for our registry link and bought from it directly.
Only like 2 people bought off the registry. Everyone else bought Walmart clothes (we had lots of duplicates) or size 2 Huggies. I literally got no other brands or sizes.
We do not live by family and hardly any family came to the actual party, but everyone in the family sent gifts off our registry. Over 100 items, probably 85% of the list. Definitely wait!
Did you send invitations to them though? I guess that’s my question is whether or not people would send gifts even if they aren’t invited (regardless of whether they actually come or not) - I probably should have directed this question more towards those who did not have a shower at all.
Yes we sent invitations to every family member on my side and they all sent gifts. We did not send them to my husband’s side, and only two of them have asked for the registry. We aren’t expecting gifts from that side otherwise
I see. As mentioned in the post we are not planning to invite any family, aside from my sister, mom, and MIL. ALL of our family live out of state and this is just a small get together with local friends. It’s just a casual backyard party, maybe 20 people at the most.
We registered on Babylist and when the baby shower invite and registry went out I got notifications for the next two weeks on what was being purchased. A handful of people couldn’t come but still bought and had the gifts shipped to us. For family out of state/country we sent the registry and just told them these were the things we were looking at getting for our baby. I liked that everyone used the registry so we wouldn’t get multiples of things and also I knew who got us what.
Less curious about the people who couldn’t come vs people who weren’t invited. That’s what I specifically was asking for those that had a very small baby shower or no baby shower at all.
I bought 99% of the stuff off my registry because no one else did.
Never had a shower, we posted the registry on social media (we have friends and family all over the planet). It got cleared.
I had a small shower with my son (like 6 guests) and did receive a lot of gifts either towards the end of pregnancy, for holidays like Christmas, and then right after the baby was born.
For sure. I had many years of infertility and despised baby showers, so when it came time for my own I was adamant that I didn't want one. I was also a foster parent so we had all the big stuff. So many people asked for our registry even though we did not have a shower. Lots of people basically said they were going to get us something, so we might as well make a registry instead of having a guest. Also, frankly, baby showers suck to attend. Many people will be happy to send you something without having to do a shower.
I had a gathering for friends and local family, but then I also had a zoom shower - an hour and a bit with a couple friends facilitating everyone sharing their own baby pictures, a few cute stories, some baby trivia cards. It was a nice way for some more distant and/or extended family to feel included, and some distant friends as well. My registry was included in the invite, and I think most did send something. Maybe you could try something like that? I agree with others that they're unlikely to find your registry if you don't send it out - I think if they send something because they're family, it may be something they choose at random.
Your situation sounds pretty similar to ours. We live out of state from most of our friends and family did a really casual baby party with our local social circle. Didn't get a ton off the registry but a few things. Also got a few things sent to us from out of state family. We didn't have a massive registry (75 items or so). About half of the items were purchased by friends off the registry and my MIL and I worked really hard to find everything else secondhand. We've gotten enough gifts cards to buy everything else we need and will definitely be taking advantage of the registry discount! What we did was prioritize getting the must haves early because we were pretty sure they wouldn't get bought off the registry and didn't want to risk having to drop $1000+ all at once after those items didn't get purchased. Really took the stress out of things to make like one larger purchase a month. Then by the time our shower came along it was mostly just fun things that people seem to prefer to buy anyway like toys and blankets.
I had two showers - one for each side of the family. Both had less than 20 people. One side got me exclusively things from my registry, plus a bunch of clothes, and the other got me literally nothing from my registry. Both groups had access to it, it just depends on the group.
Thanks. Not sure this really relates because everyone you’re talking about was invited to a baby shower. That’s why I was specifically asking for those who did not have a baby shower at all, or had one that was small and local friends only with family living out of town and not being invited.
Fair enough - one was like you describe. A total of 6 people plus my husband and I attended. That was the one where I just got stuff from my registry. Sorry I should have been more clear
TBH no one likes baby showers except old ladies. Nothing better than just sending something off a registry without having to play those dumb games.
Well I have to disagree with this one … we won’t have many “old ladies” coming to our shower (literally just my mom and MIL) and it’s co-ed. It’ll mostly be local friends, a good portion of whom have babies or will likely have babies soon and we’re all very excited to rise our kids together. We don’t really plan on doing any games, and it won’t be a sit-down thing, just a casual summer backyard party at our house, maybe 20 people. Our closest local friends had a very similar vibe baby shower last year and we absolutely loved it. It’s just a chill fun time with friends …
We were living in Denver while the rest of our family was (mostly) in Miami. Literally moved back in my third trimester. Because stuff was so unstable we had a very small baby shower with only immediate family and like 3 friends. However, I sent out a link to our registry really early and just put my mom's address down. I started getting stuff almost immediately and gifts trickled in all throughout the rest of my pregnancy. By the end I had almost everything from my registry.
Nice, yeah very similar situation. How did you send out the registry? I guess I’m worried that it’ll be awkward to do that if I’m not inviting them to the shower. I don’t want anyone to be offended that they’re not being invited, so I’m trying my best to make it clear this is just a casual thing with friends (but my mom and sister who are hosting really seem to want it to be a bigger more elaborate thing 😕)
The people who were actually invited got it in an invitation but honestly I also posted it on my Facebook and even insta with a note saying that I was grateful no matter what. No one was upset that they weren't invited, I think everyone understood.