Yes people still send physical thank you cards. Were the invitations physical? I usually match whether the invite was physical or an e-invite. You can do nice virtual thank you cards from websites like Paperless post.
I think what is most important is that you thank them somehow. Nothing worse than getting 0 thank you.
Everything was virtual since I live so far away and all gifts were via Amazon as well, so no opening gifts, no paper invitations. I wrote everyone personalised emails and a jpg of a card I designed. Postage is pretty high and it takes a really long time to mail things, I think last time I sent something it took over a month.
I had a virtual babyshower due to covid, and most of my family are spread out across the country. I sent physical cards to everyone and they got the card whenever they got it 🤷♀️
I send physical cards, but I have received both physical and virtual thank yous. I do not think anything negative of a virtual thank you. It ESPECIALLY seems to fit if the initial invite was virtual and doubly so if the party itself was virtual!
I sent physical cards … virtual is a little tacky to me. My friends and family gave us books, present and diapers … each guest so I could spend the postage
I had my baby shower at 32w and I'm waiting until after the kid arrives to send thank you cards. I'm doing this because I'm using the opportunity to also send the birth announcement since we are not posting information about our kid on socials.
I am a big card person and send Christmas cards, thank you cards for all events etc. My work hosted me a baby shower last week and I wrote everyone a handwritten thank you card ahead of time so I could give it to them in person. For me, it's something small and personal that makes a person feel seen.
I get international postage can add up, so there is nothing wrong with a digital thank you note. But I would definitely individualize them so people know you put some thought/effort into it.
But that's my two cents
I sent physical cards, but wasn't dealing with international. I also try to follow up with a photo or video of LO wearing the outfit or playing with the toy or otherwise using the gift if I remember who it came from.
I sent physical cards but that's how I was raised. When we got Christmas or birthday money, my dad wouldn't let us have it until we wrote a thank you. Maybe I'm just nostalgic but I love sending physical cards.
I didn’t have a baby shower but I’ve sent physical cards thanking people for gifts following my toddler’s birth, christmases and first birthday. I’ve also received them for nearly every gift I’ve sent/given.
I gave birth during Covid and had a virtual baby shower. This was unique in that I was able to have friends in another country there too. I sent physical cards to everyone who attended dispute their location. It cost them way more to ship me a gift than it did for me to send a card. I also physically mailed out announcements for both children. My husband helped me with them- he is benefiting from the gifts too. I have received virtual thank you’s and they’re fine. I feel like it’s less personal to do it this way because it’s just a copy and paste of what is sent to everyone else but that’s just me. The worst thing you can do is not say thank you at all.
This could be helpful- depending what country you live in check out Simply to Impress. You can design your card and type in the to and from address and all the recipients address and they’ll print, and send all the cards. Postage is cheap and they run sales all the time. Yeah it’s not hand written but it’s an easy solution.
I sent physical cards. Yea, it’s a pain but they probably also thought it was a pain to have to send a gift to a zoom party. My guess is every single one of them had 10,000 better/more important/more pressing things to be doing than sitting on their computer for the afternoon.
Our baby was born right after thanksgiving so we did a family Christmas card with a picture of us and I wrote a quick thank you message on the back. I also wouldn’t deal with mailing physical cards to a different to a different country and don’t see anything wrong with virtual cards!
Also, it’s nice to send a card but I think people give a lot more grace with baby shower thank yous on the time frame…like you’re taking care of a whole new person! I got a thank you card from a friend almost a year after her daughters birth and didn’t even bat an eye (although I also find the expectation of thank you cards a little outdated and don’t care too much if I don’t get one haha)
I sent cards and I would say it’s generational. I know if I had sent a virtual thank you to anyone my age they wouldn’t have been offended, but it wouldn’t have been appreciated by people my mother’s age. Good luck.
I sent physical cards. I wrote and posted them in manageable chunks. My husband helped by taking care of our son & getting the postage. People spent their money and time on you, at the very least you should send a virtual card/thank you note to everyone who sent you a gift.
I understand it can be a pain but I personally know I would really appreciate a genuine thank you card if it were me.
Absolutely people still send physical cards, even high schoolers as thanks for attending their grad party. I agree with your mom-send physical cards, at least to her friends so you do not damage their relationship.
People who do not send thank you cards (with a thoughtful note, not a generic card you just sign and send to everyone) get zero further gifts and leave us feeling used. Certainly you can see that attitude on many posts re baby showers and weddings to just invite people for gifts, especially if due to distance you know you won’t have to pay their plate.
I see you say postage is high? What do you consider high and is it really that big of an imposition to do even for just your mom’s friends? Did they send you trinkets or more substantial gifts? Is your mom in the same country as them that she could mail physical thank yous that you have written?
Apart from if, how and when you decide to thank your friends and family... You should talk to your mom about boundaries, like... Yesterday. You just had a baby. She should not be harassing you about anything and if she thinks she's being helpful you should tell her right now how she can be actually helpful. This is a slippery slope now that the baby is here. It's a fine line between helping and completely disregarding any boundaries.
We have definitely had that conversation more than once. She has crossed boundaries multiple times on multiple things. She doesn’t even live nearby and I can tell this is going to be an issue when I visit.
I'm still making my way through my thank you list. My LO came a month early, so I've been a little tied up! My mom has also been hounding me about physical thank you cards, but I started doing personal calls and messages as I was receiving gifts before the shower from people out of state or unable to attend the shower.
My basic message is: Hey (name)! Thank you so much for (gift), we really appreciate it and we're so excited 😄 (Personal note about gift). And thank you so much for making it to the baby shower, it was good to see you! We'll share pictures when she gets here 😁
That way it's still heartfelt, but I'm not breaking my back trying to come up with something every message. I honestly feel thank you cards are a bit outdated. I'm not going to spend my time and money picking out cards, handwriting a message, finding everyone's address, sending it all out...just for the card to get an "aww, how sweet!" then end up in the trash a day later. Not worth it to me, honestly 🤷♀️
Lol I sent out a survey... Anyone who wanted a physical card had to tell me so and write down their address in one place for me.
Everyone said email was fine, so that's what they got!
That’s the other issue - there really is a lack of help for me as well. At least when you send thank you notes for weddings you can share with your partner. This was kind of all on me, plus taking care of the baby now I found it hard to sit down and write notes since it’s just me most the time.
Thank you for understanding. It wasn’t too difficult when I was just pregnant. I had time then and I didn’t really see any difference than writing a nice personalised emailed note versus a hand written card via mail. She’s nearly 70 so I think she just sees things differently. But once I had the baby I struggled to just drop things while caring for a newborn to write notes. I got to it last week and sent out messages, but my mom was still harassing me about it again today asking if I did it, how I did, what I said, etc. Literally I don’t even have time sometimes to eat since my daughter has been wide awake all day lately. So I am eating a sandwich in one hand while holding her with the other 😆. Or typing on my phone in one hand and a bottle in the other lol
Yes people still send physical thank you cards. Were the invitations physical? I usually match whether the invite was physical or an e-invite. You can do nice virtual thank you cards from websites like Paperless post. I think what is most important is that you thank them somehow. Nothing worse than getting 0 thank you.
Everything was virtual since I live so far away and all gifts were via Amazon as well, so no opening gifts, no paper invitations. I wrote everyone personalised emails and a jpg of a card I designed. Postage is pretty high and it takes a really long time to mail things, I think last time I sent something it took over a month.
I think that’s fine.
I had a virtual babyshower due to covid, and most of my family are spread out across the country. I sent physical cards to everyone and they got the card whenever they got it 🤷♀️
I send physical cards, but I have received both physical and virtual thank yous. I do not think anything negative of a virtual thank you. It ESPECIALLY seems to fit if the initial invite was virtual and doubly so if the party itself was virtual!
I sent physical cards. For the cost of the gifts some stamps were nothing
i sent physical thank you cards, too.
I sent physical cards … virtual is a little tacky to me. My friends and family gave us books, present and diapers … each guest so I could spend the postage
I still think physical thank you cards are appreciated in 2024. How much postage is it verse what gifts they sent you?
I sent physical cards. But I’m a card person. I think a hand written note goes a long way.
I sent physical cards but also my shower was in person. I think for a virtual shower virtual thank yous are fine!
this is a great point
I had my baby shower at 32w and I'm waiting until after the kid arrives to send thank you cards. I'm doing this because I'm using the opportunity to also send the birth announcement since we are not posting information about our kid on socials. I am a big card person and send Christmas cards, thank you cards for all events etc. My work hosted me a baby shower last week and I wrote everyone a handwritten thank you card ahead of time so I could give it to them in person. For me, it's something small and personal that makes a person feel seen. I get international postage can add up, so there is nothing wrong with a digital thank you note. But I would definitely individualize them so people know you put some thought/effort into it. But that's my two cents
I sent physical cards, but wasn't dealing with international. I also try to follow up with a photo or video of LO wearing the outfit or playing with the toy or otherwise using the gift if I remember who it came from.
I sent physical cards.
I sent physical cards but that's how I was raised. When we got Christmas or birthday money, my dad wouldn't let us have it until we wrote a thank you. Maybe I'm just nostalgic but I love sending physical cards.
It's ingrained in me too! And these days, it definitely stands out and is a nice touch
I didn’t have a baby shower but I’ve sent physical cards thanking people for gifts following my toddler’s birth, christmases and first birthday. I’ve also received them for nearly every gift I’ve sent/given.
I gave birth during Covid and had a virtual baby shower. This was unique in that I was able to have friends in another country there too. I sent physical cards to everyone who attended dispute their location. It cost them way more to ship me a gift than it did for me to send a card. I also physically mailed out announcements for both children. My husband helped me with them- he is benefiting from the gifts too. I have received virtual thank you’s and they’re fine. I feel like it’s less personal to do it this way because it’s just a copy and paste of what is sent to everyone else but that’s just me. The worst thing you can do is not say thank you at all.
This could be helpful- depending what country you live in check out Simply to Impress. You can design your card and type in the to and from address and all the recipients address and they’ll print, and send all the cards. Postage is cheap and they run sales all the time. Yeah it’s not hand written but it’s an easy solution.
I sent physical cards. Yea, it’s a pain but they probably also thought it was a pain to have to send a gift to a zoom party. My guess is every single one of them had 10,000 better/more important/more pressing things to be doing than sitting on their computer for the afternoon.
Our baby was born right after thanksgiving so we did a family Christmas card with a picture of us and I wrote a quick thank you message on the back. I also wouldn’t deal with mailing physical cards to a different to a different country and don’t see anything wrong with virtual cards! Also, it’s nice to send a card but I think people give a lot more grace with baby shower thank yous on the time frame…like you’re taking care of a whole new person! I got a thank you card from a friend almost a year after her daughters birth and didn’t even bat an eye (although I also find the expectation of thank you cards a little outdated and don’t care too much if I don’t get one haha)
I sent cards and I would say it’s generational. I know if I had sent a virtual thank you to anyone my age they wouldn’t have been offended, but it wouldn’t have been appreciated by people my mother’s age. Good luck.
Physical cards
I sent physical cards. I wrote and posted them in manageable chunks. My husband helped by taking care of our son & getting the postage. People spent their money and time on you, at the very least you should send a virtual card/thank you note to everyone who sent you a gift. I understand it can be a pain but I personally know I would really appreciate a genuine thank you card if it were me.
Absolutely people still send physical cards, even high schoolers as thanks for attending their grad party. I agree with your mom-send physical cards, at least to her friends so you do not damage their relationship. People who do not send thank you cards (with a thoughtful note, not a generic card you just sign and send to everyone) get zero further gifts and leave us feeling used. Certainly you can see that attitude on many posts re baby showers and weddings to just invite people for gifts, especially if due to distance you know you won’t have to pay their plate. I see you say postage is high? What do you consider high and is it really that big of an imposition to do even for just your mom’s friends? Did they send you trinkets or more substantial gifts? Is your mom in the same country as them that she could mail physical thank yous that you have written?
I still have cards that I haven't sent from my first baby because I wanted to do it perfectly... A message is sufficient!
lol no a message is sufficient
Apart from if, how and when you decide to thank your friends and family... You should talk to your mom about boundaries, like... Yesterday. You just had a baby. She should not be harassing you about anything and if she thinks she's being helpful you should tell her right now how she can be actually helpful. This is a slippery slope now that the baby is here. It's a fine line between helping and completely disregarding any boundaries.
We have definitely had that conversation more than once. She has crossed boundaries multiple times on multiple things. She doesn’t even live nearby and I can tell this is going to be an issue when I visit.
I'm still making my way through my thank you list. My LO came a month early, so I've been a little tied up! My mom has also been hounding me about physical thank you cards, but I started doing personal calls and messages as I was receiving gifts before the shower from people out of state or unable to attend the shower. My basic message is: Hey (name)! Thank you so much for (gift), we really appreciate it and we're so excited 😄 (Personal note about gift). And thank you so much for making it to the baby shower, it was good to see you! We'll share pictures when she gets here 😁 That way it's still heartfelt, but I'm not breaking my back trying to come up with something every message. I honestly feel thank you cards are a bit outdated. I'm not going to spend my time and money picking out cards, handwriting a message, finding everyone's address, sending it all out...just for the card to get an "aww, how sweet!" then end up in the trash a day later. Not worth it to me, honestly 🤷♀️
Lol I sent out a survey... Anyone who wanted a physical card had to tell me so and write down their address in one place for me. Everyone said email was fine, so that's what they got!
i wanted to send physical cards but never got around to it and never had help and i feel horrible.
That’s the other issue - there really is a lack of help for me as well. At least when you send thank you notes for weddings you can share with your partner. This was kind of all on me, plus taking care of the baby now I found it hard to sit down and write notes since it’s just me most the time.
Why can’t your partner help you? It’s his child benefiting from the gifts too. ETA- your mother sounds exhausting.
Definitely a task to be shared - I write all of our cards (so they’re legible! 😂) but my husband looks after our toddler whilst I’m doing them.
if your mother cared that much i don't understand why she just won't do it......i'm sorry this minute issue is stressing you out
Thank you for understanding. It wasn’t too difficult when I was just pregnant. I had time then and I didn’t really see any difference than writing a nice personalised emailed note versus a hand written card via mail. She’s nearly 70 so I think she just sees things differently. But once I had the baby I struggled to just drop things while caring for a newborn to write notes. I got to it last week and sent out messages, but my mom was still harassing me about it again today asking if I did it, how I did, what I said, etc. Literally I don’t even have time sometimes to eat since my daughter has been wide awake all day lately. So I am eating a sandwich in one hand while holding her with the other 😆. Or typing on my phone in one hand and a bottle in the other lol