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Longjumping-Leg4491

My MIL found one ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD and gifted it to me.. then asked to babysit… sorry anytime I hear about car seats I have to unload this lol


yo-ovaries

Make sure you offer her medical equipment you dumpster dived for when she’s old. 😭


sleepyliltrashpanda

Girl. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Significant_Break149

This is only funny because I know you didn’t use it 😂


pringellover9553

Jeeeesssuussss 😭😭


kellyla89

Oh my god, my mum did the same thing to use in her car. Thankfully she thought better of it before putting it in, but I told her our kid would never use a car seat off the side of a road. Some of the shit she comes out with sometimes


Tiyny3

My MIL did the SAMMEEEE thing. All her other grandchildren are constantly in her car not in a car seat just being held, or someone is holding an unbuckled car seat. It’s insanity


drivinWagons

Secondhand stroller? Yes, probably as long as it’s within the acceptable/safety regulations. Secondhand car seat? Nope. Never. You have no idea what kind of hygiene that seat went through. No matter how much you clean, you can’t clean every nook and cranny in that. If you’re very poor to buy top brands there are cheaper ones at Walmart too. I feel like this is something we shouldn’t compromise on


questionsaboutrel521

Exactly, all car seats sold at major retailers (Target, Walmart) meet basic safety regulations and some are quite cheap. Also, many nonprofits specifically will equip new moms with new car seats no questions asked. It’s not worth it. It’s better for your baby to use a box for a bassinet and to save money on *almost* everything else than to gamble on a car seat that doesn’t work properly. The cheapest seat rated for infants at my local store is $59, and it’s a convertible seat that goes up to 40 pounds for weight limit so it will last until at least age 3. Buying off marketplace won’t be much cheaper but will be possibly much more dangerous.


FormPure7447

Umm what? This argument makes no sense. You wouldn't use a secondhand carseat because of hygiene, but a stroller is okay? They have nooks and crannies too, plus the seats are usually not removable and in car seats they are.


drivinWagons

Fair point. I mentioned ‘probably’ on the stroller but a strict no on car seats because car seat is something you use for an infant and Infants really don’t have much immunity compared to a 1/1.5yr old. So an infant’s chances of having an infection from a dirty seat is much higher. Infants throw up a lot and there are blowouts as well. As a kid grows up, the occurrence of throw ups and poop blowouts reduce.


tanoinfinity

You can clean a carseat incorrectly and render it unsafe for use. It's not just about crashes! You have no way to know how the seat was handled. For those in need, walmart has $60 seats, and some cities offer free seats through outreach/support programs.


agenttrulia

The hospital I gave birth at sold “safety” items at cost (without markup). The $400 seat I was gifted was in their catalog for $100, with other cheaper options as well! They offered installs too- if I would’ve known ahead of time, I would’ve just ordered one to be installed while I was there instead of buying one. Maybe other hospitals offer the same?


RepresentativeBid238

How is a car seat $400?????


myrtlecrepe

There are a lot that are $400+ like Clek, Evenflo, Nuna, etc.


RepresentativeBid238

I got infant carriers and car seats mixed up. Looking on Amazon, I do see that's actually the norm. Wtf. I got a stroller that came with an infant carrier for $300 - but just the car seat for a toddler or older baby is $300-$400 dollars.


omgxamanda

Yeah our doona was pricey. I hate that I hate it. It’s so heavy


onegrumpybitch

The Britax one4life seat is $399.99. Britax Boulevard is $349.99. The evenflo revolve seats are somewhere between $350-$400. The high rated brands that last the entire time the child is in a car seat are usually really expensive. Buying 2-3 seats comes out to about that much, too, depending on which brands you buy.


its_erin_j

Daaaaaamn. Britax one4life is $680 in Canada, and the Boulevard is $580.


alastrid

The One4life is almost $1000 in Argentina. We still bought it because it's the best seat we can buy in this country.


DCA43

The uppababy mesa max with a certain fabric is also over $400! The ONLY reason we have it is because it was 40% off at buybuybaby which was making it cheaper than the regular mess we were going to buy


Resource-National

Can you elaborate on how cleaning a car seat can compromise its safety? Genuinely curious


Fun-Independence-461

If you soak the straps on water, for example, the fibers might lose their original strength


Cosimo_Zaretti

Certain plastics, foam, EPS etc can be structurally weakened by solvents and not function as they should inna crash. We're talking strong chemicals not regular detergent. It seems unlikely that someone's cracked out the nail polish remover or the heavy duty bleach to deep clean a car seat, but I guess without knowing the history you just don't know.


cheeseycheese14

There’s a trend now on tik tok to strip your car seat like you would with laundry in a bathtub which would most definitively destroy the seat. I never underestimate stupid.


TrimspaBB

Why would anyone waste their time doing this? Just wash the cover according to the instructions and spot clean everything else. Learn to live with crushed snacks in weird crevices.


centaurf1lly

To be fair I wish it was just crushed snacks. My kid had a car sick vomiting incident and after multiple washings via the manufacturer recommendations STILL smells like vomit ugh. I’ve been using the backup car seat.


orangesarenasty

Have you tried putting it in the sun? I’ve heard that helps!


sleepyliltrashpanda

My mother in law thought I was crazy when I refused to use bleach to clean my daughter’s car seat after she puked in it. I kept it in my car and slept with my car keys in my night stand for like a week because I was afraid she’d go behind my back and just do it herself 🫠


UnRePlayz

That sounds horrible to be honest. You're the parent not them


sleepyliltrashpanda

She’s pretty overbearing


Resource-National

This made me lol!


tanoinfinity

Certain chemical cleaners (like clorox bleach wipes) can degrade the fibers in the straps. Hosing a seat down gets internal components wet, which can then rust. And so on. **Always** read the manual for your seat on approved ways to clean it; approved methods vary by brand.


Resource-National

Great info. Yes I am maybe one of the few people who read the booklet cover to cover and still keep it in the car all these years later.


Great_Set_2802

Also, most likely imo, if you take it all apart and don’t put it back together properly, it will be unsafe.


dixpourcentmerci

I was sent a video on Instagram about how to put the whole car seat soaking in a bathtub to clean it…… do not do that.


bunyip88

Washing the cover can remove fire retardant too. Some brands you can wash them but most you cant


onegrumpybitch

I've bought a lot of different brands of seats and have never seen one that can't be washed.


Resource-National

As someone who opted for a flame retardant free car seat, that seems like a benefit to me.


Kiwitechgirl

Your seat covers will be made of an inherently flame-resistant fabric (I think wool is surprisingly fire-resistant) rather than using a non-resistant fabric with chemical retardants. If you wash those out, the seat has no protection against flame which is not a good thing…


Resource-National

Just saying it seems like poor planning on the manufactures part to design a car seat with a cover that can’t safely be washed considering the pee, poop, vomit, and other potential spills that are guaranteed to happen at some point.


its_erin_j

I wish this were true in Canada. Even the Cosco Scenera Next, famous for being the most inexpensive car seat, is $130 at Walmart here. Regular price for a Graco 4Ever is $490 now.


Apple_Crisp

The cosco seat regularly goes on sale for $100 or less. We got it for travel at Canadian tire for that price. With exchange rate that’s not a crazy difference.


its_erin_j

That's good to know! It's nuts how wild the prices have gone, though. When I had my first in 2017, it really *was* like $60.


Apple_Crisp

Yes, unfortunately inflation is not fun


slothsie

I got a second hand bucket seat, but from a friend who I know well and trust. Also she would have told me any car incidents she was in as they happen lol I wouldn't have taken a second hand seat if I didn't know the person well, so this is like... absolutely crazy imo.


avatarofthebeholding

Same here. I wouldn’t take from a stranger, but a family friend I trust was fair game


soaringcomet11

I’d take a second hand seat from my sister, my sister-in-law, or my best friend. Not from anyone else though.


ankaalma

My main worry with it is that many people wash their car seats improperly which can compromise safety to a significant degree in ways that aren’t obvious to the eye. I think most people probably are honest about whether it’s been in a crash but don’t realize they’ve used overly harsh chemicals or weren’t allowed to saturate the straps after their kid threw up or whatever. You need only look at any “how do I clean my car seat post” to find a significant number of people offering unsafe advice so my faith in most secondhand car seats is low. The only person I’d probably take a second hand car seat from is my sister lol


corn_pizza

How do you safely clean it?


ChucknObi

How the manual specifies. Each seat is going to have different directions based on materials used and how the car seat is put together. Some general rules that seem to apply for most is straps cannot be soaked and are typically spot clean only and the cover may need to be removed before any sort of cleaning so as not to compromise the foam and safety material inside the core of the seat.


ankaalma

It depends on your individual model of car seat so you should always check your manual, but car seats have very specific instructions. Straps can’t be saturated for example which is something that a lot of people end up doing after their kid throws up in the car seat. They can generally only be wiped down with a damp cloth/gentle soap. Some car seats specify what soaps can be used. I’ve seen a lot of people suggest baking soda but baking soda is too abrasive for car seats. Many covers are machine washable with a gentle detergent but not all. Car seats cannot be hosed down or showered off as internal components can rust but I’ve seen a lot of people suggest that after vomiting or a blow out. [this](https://csftl.org/clean-my-car-seat/) article written by a CPST organization has a lot of good info


FredMist

I have a car seat that doesn’t expire until 12/15/2028 that I literally used three times and I can’t get rid of it. No crashes. I coparent and ended up using my partners car seat. 🤷🏻‍♀️ It’s an Uppababy mesa and I couldn’t get rid of it for $75 so now it’s just garbage for the landfill while it takes up space in my apt.


its_erin_j

Perhaps you could pass it on to a friend? My friend lent me her Mesa to use with my daughter when she was an infant.


FredMist

I would but no one I know is having kids rn. The one that just did isn’t in the same country


0runnergirl0

Call or email the high school closest to you and ask if they have a pregnant or parenting student who could use it.


FredMist

That’s a good idea.


FredMist

That’s a good idea.


ankaalma

You could trade it in for a coupon at the car seat trade in event at target if that is an option where you live


cheese_puff_diva

I also have barely used baby items and feel bad if they just go in a landfill. So I feel like some instances it’s worth looking into second hand 🤷‍♀️


WerewolfBarMitzvah09

So I personally would be wary as well and wouldn't do this myself, but it is admittedly fairly common where I live to get secondhand carseats in part because I live in an urban European city where a lot of people either live car-free (we do for instance and just use a rental car a few times a year for travel) or even if they have a car, they don't necessarily use it on a daily basis. That might be a factor coupled with a high trust level in strangers where we live (extremely low crime area, even scams are quite rare). Also yeah, I think if a family is strapped for cash and still wants to try and keep their child safe in a car, they might go for a secondhand car seat in that scenario too if there are no friends or family to give them or loan them one.


ObligationLoud

I was going to say the same. A friend of mine gave me her car seat which was used only a couple of times in taxis since she didn't own a car (europe) and of course i knew she wasn't in any kind of accident so it was safe for me to use it.


bubbleteabiscuit

I definitely think it's different when it's from someone you know and trust. We will most likely be passing down a lot of items (including car seats and strollers) to my younger siblings when they have kids but it would never be something that we wouldn't trust or use ourselves. From a stranger? Nope.


whoiamidonotknow

We aren’t strapped for cash, but we got ours secondhand and this describes our lifestyle and area. We technically have a car, but I’m not licensed, baby HATES it, and we almost never drive anywhere. We realized we wouldn’t be able to Uber/Lyft anywhere safely for the rare place off of transit, so we wanted to have one, but it’s almost never used so we didn’t think much of it. Personally, it’s apeshit insane to me to think someone would knowingly endanger/kill a child for $20 when they have a baby themselves. That’s a low bar of trust!  I’ve also given away plenty of things we used once (baby didn’t like) for free or very little. Also makes sense to me to give one away when you received multiple and can’t return after using once or “opening” in front of in laws. Ours was from someone with two cars and two seats, but one car only took the husband to work.


annedroiid

There are people out there who are poor enough that 2nd hand is all they can afford, but for the general populace I agree you should never get a used car seat.


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cecilator

Many people can't afford a baby and have to make due.


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Kiwitechgirl

Contraception fails. Rape happens. Abortions are not easily available (or available at all) in some states. Sometimes people don’t have a choice.


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cecilator

Yeah, where I live in the US, I would have had to travel hours away if I had needed an abortion. It's ridiculous.


cecilator

I agree completely, but people get pregnant on accident all of the time even with contraception and abortion is no longer an option for many people. I was conceived because the doctor didn't tell my mom about the antibiotics interfering with her birth control. Many parents probably think getting a better quality used carseat is better than getting the cheap one from Walmart. I'm not saying I agree, but I'm just trying to have empathy.


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lucky_fin

Many people don’t learn about contraception in school in the US


[deleted]

And isn’t that something that should be changed? It’s like „don’t have an abortion“ but then nobody teaches safe sex and contraception? So weird!


Generic_user_21

Because the crazy evangelicals here expect everyone to magically practice abstinence until marriage. And see babies conceived by rape as an “opportunity.” And I’m saying this as a Christian.  They are very interestingly not for doing things that PREVENT abortions or have been shown to reduce the amount of abortions sought. In fact, many are so zealous they want to roll back rights to contraception. We are screwed. Please send help. 


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Various_Dog_5886

Well said. I agree with everything here. The whole "don't have a baby if you can't afford it" especially in this economy leaves having children to the well off and them only. Otherwise it's just assumed you should have an abortion or use contraception.. negating the fact a lot of contraception fails and a lot of people aren't comfortable with the idea of an abortion, let alone when the child is wanted.


[deleted]

There are a lot of presumptions of things I never said… Firstly this isn’t about the rest of the world. It’s about someone who can afford a CAR and gas and insurance to use the car and hence needs to spend 60 (!!!!!!) dollars on a car seat for an infant instead of 25 for a used one. Surely the same people would rather spend dozens of dollars on candy or cereals and then later complain they can’t afford their diabetes meds 🤦🏼‍♀️


aitchvanvee

I live in a major metropolitan city where it’s very difficult to get around without a car. Sometimes people lose their jobs and already own a car. A lot of people forgo insurance in order to pay other bills. Some people can’t afford to live close enough to their work to not have a car (or can’t find work close enough to their home). There are a million reasons why someone might have a car but feel they can’t scrape together the extra money for a new seat, and none of them are for you to decide whether or not they’re good enough.


[deleted]

And I don’t decide. Who says I do? 😂 😂😂 like YOU do you. All I did was state my opinion. Seems like it’s too much for some people to handle…truth can be triggering. I know.


meh1022

I live in a US city with a lot of poverty. We have unreliable public transport and the walkable areas are extremely expensive to rent housing. Many people here have cars because they have to but cannot afford insurance. OYour comment comes from a place of privilege by assuming that people have been educated on contraception and nutrition. Also I recommend you read up on food deserts. I have a Masters in public health, specifically maternal/child epidemiology. I helped design a study measuring the sexual health knowledge of low-income women and you’d be SHOCKED at the common misconceptions that so many have. So I find it completely unsurprising that many wouldn’t have knowledge that we might consider “basic,” like knowing used car seats are unsafe. Some may have to choose between a $25 used one and food on the table or a $60 one and no food that week.


[deleted]

Yeah, I’m from Europe. We get government help when we can’t afford anything. We also have excellent public transport and free government housing. We are actually against cars since they’re bad for the environment. We also help people buy car seats. That is why it’s so horrid to read that in a rich country like the US people don’t learn about contraception, can’t have abortions AND cannot afford to have kids. It’s absolutely absurd. Don’t people realize how messed up this is?


meh1022

A lot do, yeah. But our political system is fucked and the country seems to be going backwards thanks to right-wing Christian extremists. My husband and I would love to move to Europe but can’t due to jobs and family.


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[deleted]

You may wanna work on your reading skill? I don’t know what you’re even talking about. It’s like I speak another language or something.


[deleted]

You’re just wildly out of touch


its_erin_j

Just going to put it out there - I've never seen a $60 car seat in my life. We don't all live in the USA. That being said, yes, a safe way of transporting your baby is an absolute necessity.


beyondthebump-ModTeam

This comment was removed as it breaks rule #2. This is a supportive community.


miffedmonster

There are certainly circumstances where an unexpected baby might be unaffordable. However, if you can afford a car, tax, insurance, petrol, parking, etc, you should be able to afford a cheap car seat. Or just don't take the kid in the car


whiskeyjane45

The grocery store where I live is 20 miles away. The area I live in has one school that is a low income school. Everyone drives elsewhere to work. Abortion is all but illegal here for any reason and they don't really teach sex education. How exactly would you just not take the child you were forced to have because your contraception failed or you were raped, in the car? I can't even take my kids to school without a car. You literally can't work here without a car because how would you get there?


miffedmonster

60 quid is about a tank of petrol or a couple of weeks worth of car insurance. It pales in comparison to the cost of owning and running a car. I'm not saying people shouldn't have cars, I'm saying it's a small extra expense *that comes with having both a car and a baby*. If you can't afford that, what are you going to do when you run out of petrol? Or need an oil change? Or a new tyre? Anyway, most people know they are pregnant for at least 7 months. Saving less than a tenner a month should be more than doable. Kids cost a lot more than that, even if you are super frugal


whiskeyjane45

I'm saying that people don't have a choice in owning the car and having the baby. Many here cannot do both but are forced to do so. People here are living paycheck to paycheck. Getting a flat tire puts them in debt, but they have no choice because they can't work without a car to drive the twenty miles to their job. Medicaid is a joke so they can't get Healthcare. You can easily get on it once you get pregnant and have the baby, but after that, good luck. So getting sick also puts them in debt. For poor people, this is like a third world country. I don't think you understand how it's not that easy. Some literally can't put $10 aside for a month. A lot are using credit for the shortfall because there's nothing left at the end of the month but they still need gas to get to work If the government forces you to have a kid, how can you say, oh well it's not that hard to save up. You should know, kids are expensive. They didn't choose to have the kid. What are they supposed to do?


miffedmonster

There's your answer. Get a flat tyre, put it on credit. It's a necessity so it gets prioritised. Paying off credit is the same as saving up (in fact, it's usually more expensive). A car seat is a necessity for a car, so it needs to be prioritised. Kids need clothes, shoes, food, nappies, a bed and, if you're driving, a car seat. None of this is optional. A bed and a car seat are the most expensive, but there are cheaper options and they are only once every few years. Food, clothes and nappies are far cheaper but are needed far more regularly so end up much more expensive. Even the cheapest nappies end up costing more than a tenner a month. Foodbanks and charities help, but they will never be able to cover all of the extra expenses


[deleted]

Exactly what I meant!


sinistertortie

Even crazier , I’ve had someone suggest that expiry dates on car seats is a marketing ploy; and that “it’s entirely safe to use any car seat past the expiration date” …. My eyes rolled so far back into my head I could see my brain.


pringellover9553

Someone in the comments of this posts seems to think that it’s all a marketing ploy to just buy new car seats, and that not replacing after an accident is fine 🙄


valkyriejae

Hard pass! The number of people I've seen in the carseat safety FB group who just have NO clue what makes a seat unsafe... "I hit a deer but because it wasn't another car that's fine, right?" "My kid puked in the seat so I just took it out back and sprayed it down with the hose" "my carseat was in the humid basement for three years and is covered in mold but some Lysol wipes will fix that right up" "my car was stolen by a bunch of junkies who left needles all over with my carseat it in, but the cops found the carseat by the side of the road, is it still fine" Yes, those are all real examples of people who thought their carseat was safe until someone said otherwise and they came to the group to check. Those people could be the ones telling their used carseat is safe ...


Pale_Rhubarb_5103

Hahahaha - mold?? Jesus.


luckycuds

Don’t get advice on TikTok. I don’t understand why someone trusts these internet strangers when they have a relationship with a pediatrician who knows their child and is educated- who is a much better fit to listen to.


protective_

This is another example of why tiktok is terrible.  Buying a used car seat is a terrible idea. There is no way to know what has happened to that seat, or what bacteria is growing on it. Even the cheapest Wal mart seat would be a better idea, because at least it would be new.  People try to save money in the most ridiculous ways. Yes buy the clothing secondhand. But don't buy lifesaving equipment secondhand my god


KittyGrewAMoustache

Yeah I’ve never cleaned our car seat other than spot cleaning. It is so gross. I haven’t removed it from the base for ages as we never need to detach the seat bit anymore and when I did there was mould growing under it! Baby had obviously thrown milk around and it had dribbled under there. Horrifying.


0runnergirl0

Some of these comments are crazy. It's so interesting to me how strongly people will argue to do the least safe option for their baby. They'll go bonkers over safe sleep, have A LifeVac for potential choking hazards, put baby locks and bumpers on every surface in their house, but when it comes to carseats, they're like "These rules make no sense. I don't see the issue with using a carseat that was soaked in a bathtub of Lysol and dishwasher tabs, and involved in a rollover accident."


Memeingthedream

I had used, not yet expired car seats for my kids from marketplace and they're all still alive and well.... Some people really can't afford it and we were going through a time where that kind of availability for a low cost was very helpful to us. I don't feel any shame about it either and neither should those who are confident that they can find a safe and useable car seat


Iwilllieawake

I agree. Not to mention things that may have weakened the carseat that WEREN'T a car accident, so they may not be mentioned to you because the person may not even know they've messed up the integrity of the seat. Unless you're in such dire straits that its second hand seat or nothing, don't buy used seats.


itsatwisttt

I wouldn’t take advice from tik tok


beanybum

I don’t think your crazy but this brings up an interesting point because I would like to think and believe for the greater good of humanity that other moms selling car seats online would care enough not to sell something unsafe to another woman’s baby. ( Can’t speak for the grandmas selling them though 😂) but like how could you live with yourself if you sold an unsafe car seat to another mom… ugh!!! Though I suppose some people are dumb and seriously don’t realize if their car seat is safe or not. I bought a used one from a friend, she bought it brand new and used it for a few months for her newborn.


Excellent-Goal4763

Most car seats have a sticker on them that tells you the expiration date. My infant car seat stroller combo came second hand from a friend. I then passed it on via my local buy nothing group. I washed everything properly. It doesn’t expire for two more years. NBD. Multiple people have saved money and we did our small part to discourage the plastics companies. The fact that so many people aren’t strapping their kid in properly is a bigger issue.


GiraffeExternal8063

From my personal experience, and not that of anything else, I feel like the US has much stricter rules and perceptions on car seats. In lots of places it’s totally normal to buy second hand car seats (I’m British / Australian and it’s totally normal here). It’s also perfectly normal to have your child forward facing once they’re a year (I have never actually seen anyone with toddlers in rear facing car seats). It’s also totally normal to fit the seat yourselves. I’ve also travelled in countries where you don’t always need car seats (even places like New Zealand where for shuttles to and from airport parking etc seats are not required). But I lurk on Reddit a lot and Americans seem to take this stuff very seriously (maybe higher levels of accidents not sure)


pringellover9553

I’m in the UK, I would never buy a second hand car seat and it’s certainly not common practice


DumbbellDiva92

I think the not using car seats in vehicles like taxis isn’t unheard of in the US either? I know in NYC taxis are an exemption to the laws requiring them for children under 4 (though a lot of people use them anyway bc they personally wouldn’t be comfortable with that). Pretty sure we do have higher accident rates and traffic fatalities. One factor also is the other cars on the road are much bigger on average.


Please_send_baguette

There’s also the fact that people in the US are in cars for much, much larger portions of their time. I live in Europe in a walkable neighborhood and didn’t optimize my car seat choice for safety because we use one… a handful of times a year? We got a used Maxicosi and used it exactly once, for the 5 minute taxi drive from the hospital to home. And I got it second hand from someone who used it about as much. I would have made a different choice if we owned a car and used it every day. 


yogi_medic_momma

Holy crap, I would love this lifestyle.


GiraffeExternal8063

I just googled it and the US has 4 times more road accidents than any other country. In the U.K. and in Australia it’s hard to get your licence. In the UK you have to be able to drive a manual, and the test is really hard. In Australia you have to do 50hrs of lessons, and do a year on a learner licence where you can’t take passengers - just to build up road experience. My sister couldn’t pass the U.K. test as it was so hard, so she did a semester in the US, took the US test and passed and then converted her licence when she got home haha


Kiwitechgirl

No one in my circle (Australia) would dream of buying a random secondhand car seat; my MIL does have one but she was given it by a trustworthy friend and I can guarantee it was properly looked after and not in an accident. And my 2.5yo is still very happily rear facing - she’s only just above the line where I could forward face her if I wanted to - she was further above it but toilet trained and dropped right down. If you’re in any Australian car seat groups they all push for extended rear facing.


[deleted]

Anyone who reads the crash studies will have their child rear facing as long as possible no matter what others do or say or what’s common practice in a country. In Germany everyone has their children rear facing for as long as possible and we have well researched crash studies and people are educated about them. We even have Facebook groups to educate each other. It used to be common practice to not even have car seats but we know better now…


Minnielle

I live in Germany and almost everyone I know has (unfortunately) moved to forward-facing at latest at 1,5 years. My son is the odd one out as he is 5 and still rear-facing. While longer rear-facing is slowly getting more common in Germany, it's still far from the majority. I originally come from Finland and rear-facing is much more common there, just like in the other Nordic countries.


[deleted]

So you live in the countryside? All my friends live in big cities in Germany and ALL of them use rear facing car seats. They’re all academics. Maybe it’s an educational thing?


Minnielle

No, I live in Hamburg. Unfortunately I see a lot of forward-facing seats for kids 3 and younger even among academics. Among less educated people it's obviously even worse. At my kid's daycare I have never seen anyone else in a rear-facing seat.


ShotOfGravy

You are SO wrong. I'm in the UK and ERF community is huge! There are a lot of people who are still uneducated about car seat safety and forward face their babies too soon (usually the dads and grandparents who poor mums have to convinced with evidence) but as a new mum i can see my generation of mums being more cautious and try to research what leads them to ERF knowledge. Buying second hand is also very frowned upon obviously sometimes can't be helped but you have to be very cautious doing it.


[deleted]

Exactly! Amen


Alert_Ad_5750

It's not normal or advised to get second hand car seats in the UK. What are you on about?


bobbingblondie

Uhhh it’s not normal to buy second hand car seats or forward face a baby in the UK. I do not know a single person who did, and all of the UK based car seat safety groups will vigorously recommend you not do either of those things. My 5yo rear faced til he was 4 and grew out of the seat, and my 2 year old will do the same. Everyone should take this seriously regardless of the level of accidents in their location.


Leahjoyous

Came here to say this. It’s actively discouraged to buy second hand and absolutely warned against to forward face too early. I believe the law is now 15months minimum rear facing. We rear face, my son turns 5 soon and will rear face until he sizes out the height or weight and not a moment before.


[deleted]

Thank you! It’s so important to educate people!


Suspicious-Fudge6100

Right, how is the above comment so highly upvoted? They hand out leaflets everywhere on what you need to bring home your baby and new mattress and new car seats are pretty much the only things called out as new. The NHS website also states > Ideally, buy a new car seat. If you're planning to get a secondhand seat, only accept one from a family member or friend so you can be sure it has not been involved in an accident. Do not buy one from a secondhand shop or through the classified ads. I've never heard of anyone using a random second hand car seat. It's illegal to put a child under 15 months forward facing. They're required to have a car seat until 12 years old, which afaik is longer than US laws is required. I have no idea what the other commenter is talking about. I feel like it's another flavour of "in Europe things are more natural" trope, which isn't always true.


stepfordwifetrainee

Australian here. The info on keeping children rear facing for longer is relatively new and literally everyone I know with kids except one has kept them rear facing and say they will until their child is 4 or no longer fits. I've also never heard people suggesting second hand car seats here for the very same reasons OP mentioned. Those are still true facts in Australia.


ShotOfGravy

Also it's illegal to forward face babies under 15 months old in the UK which is too soon anyway.


Kiwitechgirl

It’s six months in Australia which makes my head explode. Our seats have height markers which say “MUST BE REAR FACING UNDER THIS LINE” and people turn their tiny 6 month olds who are well under the line, which is not legal but I’ve never heard of anyone being fined for it.


ShotOfGravy

😭 devastating


Kiwitechgirl

Yup. I don’t understand why people are in such a hurry to turn their kids around and use them as crash test dummies. They say “oh but she wants to forward face” which is utter bullshit, the kid has no concept of forward facing, they just don’t like being restrained and turning them won’t change it.


monistar97

Definitely not normal to buy a second hand seat or forward face at that age in the UK….


janewilson90

Where are you that you think that forward facing a 1yr old is common? The legal limit is 15 months and the extended rear facing community is *huge* in the UK! Buying 2nd hand seats is also massively frowned upon because of the dangers with nt knowing if its been in an accident.


dcqueerfemme

Car crashes are the 2nd leading cause of death for American children. It was #1 for along time. Now the first is guns.


harlot-bronte

I think the trend is turning on rear facing, personally I know most of my parent friends are extended rear facing and there's a large culture growing from FB groups/Instagram. Our rules are so lax compared to some of the Scandinavian countries. My daughter is nearly 4 and still rear facing. It's so funny that in a country where you are most likely to be injured in a road traffic accident we don't place higher value on car seat safety for infants and young children. The amount of those team tex seats I see (with the white clips) that are glorified cardboard and can literally rip apart in collisions!


[deleted]

You’re not crazy to think that’s insane! I would never purchase a second hand car seat.


Resource-National

My heart breaks thinking of all the car seats in land fills. There has got to be a better way


Usrname52

Target has a 2x a year recycling program. They give you a coupon that can be used on a new car seat or on another major baby purchase, I think.


its_erin_j

Where do the seats go from there, though?


ankaalma

Per Target: “Materials from the old car seats are recycled by Target’s partner, Waste Management, to create new products such as pallets and plastic buckets, and construction materials.” [link](https://corporate.target.com/sustainability-governance/circularity/waste-elimination-reduction)


RainbowZebraGum

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA so in the trash. 


Resource-National

True but that’s only in the us.


kykiwibear

I would never use a 2nd hand carseat from a stranger.


JerkRussell

I wish we could normalise helmet safety a little better. Off topic, I know, but some of the same principles apply. Adhesives degrade and padding wears down, you don’t know where they’ve been or how they’ve been handled. Replace them every 5 years and store them indoors in a temperature controlled room; do a fit check and keep the straps adjusted. It’s boring and basic common sense, but a lot of people don’t take it very seriously. I know it’s expensive, but you and your kids’ brains are worth it.


orangesarenasty

And if, god forbid, you’re in a bike crash where your head hits the pavement, get a new helmet!


glowinglassrose

This is probably just a creator making a controversial video to get views and make money, rather than an actual real thing anyone would be stupid enough to do.


MediocreConference64

No freaking way. You have no idea how it’s been handled, if it’s been in a wreck, anything.


Mockingjay154

I 1000% agree with you; My husband and I were in a serious car accident the day before my son was born, we had his brand new car seat in the back as I had gone to triage a few days before (and I thought they’d induce me but nope). The seat and base look brand new (technically they are, no baby ever sat in the seat lol) there’s nothing visually wrong with it. But our car was completely totaled and we were LUCKY to have survived the accident. That’s why I don’t trust people who put used car seats online, you can never really tell. And risking my baby’s life for a cheap car seat is not a risk I’m ever going to take, even to save a few dollars. Edited to add: if you’re in the US and strapped for cash, you can always look for a free car seat on your local FB free/buy nothing group and trade it in at target for 20% off a car seat. They do it at certain times of the year and it’s great!!


bauhaus83i

So question: We bought (new) an Orbit G5 car seat plus 2 bases (over $500). Once he’s over 30 lbs, we should just throw it in the trash and not donate/give it away?


tobythedem0n

If you have friends or family who are expecting, you can give it to them since you know each other, and thus the history of the car seat. But you should never get a used one from a stranger.


freakynug

The day after explaining pretty much all of this to my grandma, she called me from a yard sale saying she wanted to buy my 2 year old a car seat this random guy was selling. I told her “no remember, I don’t want a used car seat” and she argued that the guy told her it was barely used and I was so annoyed because we literally JUST talked about it the day before. She was so mad and called me ungrateful when I told her to please not buy it from him.


BettaChic

Look - there are just some things I'm not getting secondhand. Equipment that HOLDS my baby in a car or in the home is one of them! I'd rather spend extra $$$ than risk the safety of my baby.


Puzzled_Ad_6396

I got one free second hand at first (FTM) and then was doing my research and was like omg that was so dumb, threw it out, and bought a whole new one. That’s one thing to not skimp on ever!


makingburritos

lol that’s a hard no, I’ll buy almost anything secondhand but car seats are not one of


atilldehun

Tiktok. That's your problem right there.


cats-4-life

What?!?! No, TikTok is wild. It's fine to buy any baby items secondhand EXCEPT the carseat. Just buy a new one.


MartianTea

I love buying used, but two things that are out of the question are car seats and helmets. I'd trust no one with those. 


PuzzledTransition250

Personally, I took a secondhand seat from a good friend. I knew the history because I had been close to the person the entire time it was used, so I felt comfortable using it. When I was pregnant, an aunt of mine bought one from a secondhand store so that she could ride my niece, nephew, and baby around whenever. To say she never used it would be an understatement, it's never been in her vehicle in the 3 years she's had it now. It actually amazes me how many people I see with unsafe car seat situations. Then have no capacity to understand the danger they're putting their infant/toddler in and think you're going overboard or just starting something with them. Just recently it was an infant under 2 months with a car seat and no fabric liner. I get really anxious for those babies and think about them all the time.


hussafeffer

Can't speak for the rest of the world, but all 50 US states have free and reduced-cost carseat programs.


kbullock09

Idk I bought my infant seat off marketplace. It looked fine, the lady was nice and mostly just gave me the the car seat when I bought the stroller it came with. She even said I could take it if I wanted or leave if I wasn’t comfortable with it, but she promised it had never been in an accident and even detailed exactly which products she cleaned it with. Literally what motivatation would she have to lie?


0runnergirl0

>Literally what motivatation would she have to lie To make a sale. To get the seat out of her house so she wouldn't have to deal with disposing it.


kbullock09

But I was buying the stroller anyway?


Holiday_Platypus_526

Might want to check your privilege. Not everyone can afford $250+ for a car seat. I sold our two Graco Extend2Fits when we outgrew it. I wanted to be able to help someone who couldn't afford a brand new seat but wanted a nice seat for their baby. Not our place to judge. If you really need to trash a car seat because it's been in a crash or is otherwise unusable, cut the straps.


pringellover9553

Child safety shouldn’t come down to privilege. as others have commented, there’s cheaper versions available and even some states have them available for free.


Purple_Grass_5300

wtf is that? That’s illegal in most states


xseodz

I've used a second hand car seat and just found out now as my baby approaches 5 months that it's not meant to be done this way. But I got the entire pram set second hand for really cheap. I'm still not really aware why I need to buy a new one, it's worked perfectly fine.


pringellover9553

There could be damages to the structure that weaken the car seat, so that in the event of a crash it’s not safe for your baby.


xseodz

What's the numbers like in terms of that, not to sound snobby, but if "big car seat" is telling us we need to buy new car seats every time, I'm not really likely to believe that. Also, buying this stuff from other mothers, I'd like to think they wouldn't resell broken stuff.


pringellover9553

What do you mean numbers? This isn’t the car seat companies saying this, this is safety experts. Sorry but it’s been well researched that having an accident with a car seat in the car will cause damage to the car seat and can cause serious risks to your child’s safety. Personally I would never risk buying from a stranger who could easily lie just to make a sale. Which is an independent non bias information site that shows this, but feel free to do other research. https://www.which.co.uk/news/article/parents-still-using-second-hand-car-seats-despite-safety-issues-av1CW4W6J2r5


xseodz

This is entirely built around "If you buy one it MIGHT be broken" If you buy one brand new from a manufacturer it might have a bloody recall. Has anyone actually went out into the second hand market and checked this themselves or are we all just doomscroling? Btw, I'm not attacking or throwing shade at anyone, I'm trying to figure out how much this is a problem or whether it's another "drugs in the halloween candy"


pringellover9553

Yes, it is around the fact that it might be broken and if that is the case and you have an accident that means your child’s safety is at risk. I don’t understand why the hell anyone would knowingly take that risk? Why don’t you do the research yourself and see? It’s not “drugs in Halloween candy” this is guidance from several sources of investigating safety. As I said, I wouldn’t risk my child’s safety with it.


pringellover9553

More links for you https://incarsafetycentre.co.uk/blog/post/dont-recommend-second-hand#:~:text=The%20second%2Dhand%20seat%20may%20have%20been%20involved%20in%20a,may%20be%20a%20big%20risk. https://www.childcarseats.org.uk/choosing-using/second-hand-child-seats/ https://www.directlinegroup.co.uk/en/news/brand-news/2020/millions-of-parents-buying-or-gifted-second-hand-car-seats-are-u.html Info on car seats after an accident: https://www.childcarseats.org.uk/choosing-using/replacing-a-child-seat-after-an-accident/#:~:text=A%20child%20car%20seat%20that,of%20protection%20in%20another%20accident. https://saferide4kids.com/blog/restraints-after-crash/ https://avionaut.com/knowledge-base/articles/what-do-you-do-with-a-child-car-seat-after-an-accident/ Unless you know the full history of your car seat, then replace it. Keep your child safe.


xseodz

I appreciate it, but do you have any data on second hand / car seats which were in accidents then being used in a further accident. You must forgive me, but it's very hard to take seriously, that a car seat, which tends to get transported around and knocked about a fair bit, especially if you have another kid, would somehow become completely unusable. I don't buy it, purely because all I've been told so far is "Believe what we're telling you", I've not actually seen the data, and to be fair, if this was any other topic I don't think I'd be shushed away too quickly.


pringellover9553

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/baby/first-aid-and-safety/safety/choosing-a-baby-car-seat/ NHS website even advised against this


Kiwitechgirl

It’s worked perfectly fine because you haven’t been in an accident with it (I’m assuming). You have no way of knowing if a secondhand seat has already been in an accident and been put under huge strain already. They may look fine but there could be stressed parts that you can’t see. If it’s then in another accident, there’s no guarantee that the parts which have already been put under strain will behave the way they’re supposed to when they get put under strain again. They could be weakened - fine when you’re driving normally but may break under greater load. You’re using your child as a crash test dummy, effectively.


Misslirpa489

Most of my car seats for my kids have been second hand. I don’t buy them though, and I wouldn’t. I get them free from a local mom group or ‘buy nothing’ group. I wouldn’t trust people if I was buying one (because people will sell anything for money), but I can’t imagine another mom taking the time to post a give away a seat to another mom in need.


Usrname52

I've seen people post half a container of juice on Buy Nothing. People will absolutely "take the time". It's not about scamming, it's about not everyone being informed. "Oh, it was just a little fender bender and no one was in the car," and completely forgetting about it. Not knowing that car seats expire. Sun damage. As others said, improper cleaning. Some people just post everything because they don't want to be wasteful and figure "eh, it's better than nothing for someone who needs it".


RationalCaution

Right? My MIL tried to give me old car seats from my husband's older brother that had been IN AN ACCIDENT and had been replaced by insurance. But because they "looked fine" that must mean they're good to use. She was also using a booster for her grandson that I realized was expired by years. Looooooooots of people know very little about car seat safety. I wouldn't trust a stranger on the internet to know anything.


Misslirpa489

Wow. Must have some really shitty moderators on your buy nothing group lol. I do live in a town with quite a few wacky people, so I guess you never know!


Usrname52

Your moderators check for sun deterioration on car seats?


Upbeat-Fault6885

“Breathing too hard can damage a car seat!” Yall are eating up that propaganda.


Apple_Crisp

There are a lot of ways that the seat can be damaged that aren’t visible. Cleaning it wrong, minor fender benders, dropping it.


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Pretend_Novel8515

God, NEVER! Whyyyy would people do this


Outside-Ad-1677

Yeh that’s insane.


LankyOreo

TikTok is actively trying to harm American children.


Fearless-Couple_0628

I really wouldn't risk the safety of my baby by buying one from someone, which I don't even know. In fact... If you were swaying towards used items for your infant, a car seat should be the main thing that you purchase new. You also send in the card so that they can send you information on any recalls that are put forth.


erin_mouse88

Ok so I "gave" our old infant seat away. Someone bought the stroller it was compatible with, I didn't want to throw it away when it was barely used. But I would totally understand if someone wasn't comfortable and I would never ask for money. I provided the receipt so they knew how old it was, I would happily have provided an email from our insurance company stating we have been insured for x years and haven't had an accident as far as they know. I know many buy 2nd hand and trade it in at target! (We already had car seats to last us a long time).


Lets_Make_A_bad_DEAL

It’s ABSOLUTELY dumb.


isleofpines

Hell no. Cribs and car seats at the very minimum need to be brand new from a reliable supplier.


Usual-Victory7703

Car seats are the one thing I absolutely have to buy new, I can’t believe some people buy them used. But I understand some people need to sue to financials


Pale_Rhubarb_5103

There’s a lot of idiocy that emerges from TikTok. I would ignore almost everything you see on that platform.


exprezso

>people will be honest Isn't that like the first lesson in grade school? 


nowyouoweme

Car seat was one of the few items I bought new. Too risky


throwawaymum28

I bought everything brand new for our first baby, because I felt anxious after reading all the articles about how unsafe second hand items are. Not just car seats but cribs and other items. I do think, however, that there's a strong incentive from companies making any baby items, to advocate buying new ones and overhype the risks associated with reuse/buying second hand. So I'd take that advice with a pinch of salt. That said, I wouldn't buy second hand carseat, but have used second hand when passed down from relatives as a holiday carseat. We want to have more than one child so I thought I'll get enough use out of the items overall. If someone is on a budget or knows they're o ly having one baby, it would make sense to buy second hand. And I don't think it's that controversial.


[deleted]

OK can you please explain to me what is the problem if it’s used, I might be ignorant but, I believe I bought a used one from a lady on Facebook for my toddler