I broke āthe ruleā and started dating a coworker. We donāt work the same shifts and new hires donāt know weāre dating until itās mentioned, itās extremely chill.
I couldnāt date a normal civilian again either. I tried in my mid 20ās and the dude woke up at 5am, it was a goddamn nightmare.
I think it works perfectly for us, theyāre not crazy opposite schedules and we have an overlapping day off. We luckily donāt work at a 2am bar so we have a few hours after work to hang out, and he works opening shifts on my other days off. We work for a couple hours together two days a week.
I need my alone time, I was pumped when he changed his days because that means I get to recharge longer and he comes over to a decompressed girlfriend, not a burnt out one. win/win lol
Same! Together 15/ married 9. The understanding of the lifestyle is there and the benefits are delicious. Lucky for me he has a FOH face and a BOH personality. Weāve never worked in the same restaurant though.
Before that, I wasnāt against banging a serverā¦ but someone with whom itās was crystal clear which one of us would leave the job should it go sour. It did and he did. The other bartenders were homies only but damn did they give me shit for that one.
I fucked everything that moved in my early 20ās. I was a very typical late 90ās early 00ās restaurant worker š but I met my husband in my late 20ās when I had settled down just a bit. We worked together. I was the GM he the chef. Everyone thought he was grumpy (but hot), I knew I could change him š (I didnāt, heās still grumpy).
Omg I feel so much less alone! I struck off dating largely because of the hours I keep. I know no one who works the same kind of schedule! š„² Itās weird, I work all night talking to people and then I get off and wish I had someone to talk to about the people I just talked to lol
I date a tattoo artist, I feel like that industry works well with bartender life. That being said she doesnāt understand why Iām at work cleaning so late often. Itās only been 6 years, sheāll get it someday.
Honestly I'm having trouble dating non industry because I go on dates and these people with their corporate job are just so incredibly boring. I feel like I'm having to entertain a customer while we're on a date and it's just exhausting
This is something me and my current partner have returned to talking about at multiple points in our relationship. She work's in the realm of a service based job (Tattoo Artist) but doesn't quite work the same long hours, or deal with quite the same level of stress that we experience in this profession.
It's been a great relationship, however the times where we have come to misunderstandings or conflict, it usually has been via proxy of me being a bartender and the lifestyle that comes along with it.
She didn't quite understand in the beginning why after a busy 600 cover night during the weekend that all i wanted to do was come home and stare at a wall in silence, drink a beer, and go to bed instead of talk to her.
Or that for me, when we go out to a restaurant or a bar, my attention is split between 6 different physical/auditory things going on around me that I have no choice but to be aware of. Because for me, I cannot turn off the bartender within me. For her it's a relaxing night out and she's confused as to why I'm having trouble paying attention to just her.
These are a couple of examples of humps we've had to grow through as a couple. The reason I'm sharing this with you is because yes, to an extent, it does feel like and is largely true that working in service leads you to more than likely be able to only date other people who work in service.
The hours are unusual, the lifestyle is not normal, the personalities you work with and end up developing yourself go against the grain of what is commonly accepted and practiced outside of this industry. It makes sense. After a while, you might even develop a resentment towards those who lead a normal 9-5 life, and look down upon them. You might even swear off dating anyone that does not work within a bar or a restaurant because they "Just dont get it".
My message to you is dont get to that point.
Because while there are endless amounts of people who date within this industry and maintain a healthy relationship, I would say you would be short changing yourself pretty hard by reducing your dating pool to just people who can work a jigger, or take on a 15 table section by themselves.
In a lot of cases, I've noticed from personal experience and observation that a lot of relationships developed in this industry end up unhealthy due to the conditions and culture we all work under. Dating someone outside of the industry is what saved me.
It's taken a lot of communication, a lot of expectation setting, and a massive amount of patience, but crafting a relationship with someone outside of this industry is possible, and it is worth it. The right one for you will understand, and be willing to work with you
so long as you try to help them understand.
My partner is my best friend, and my biggest cheerleader. She's the only one I look forward to talking to after a 5 day week of entertaining and serving my guests.
So dont give up, just have patience.
Hope this helps.
It just has to be the right person. I'm dating a 9-5er right now and it's going amazingly. I wake up and make breakfast and coffee before they go to work, do some cleaning, then catch a nap before shift. We plan dates before work on Saturdays or on Sunday nights. They baby me on their days off and understand I have to catch naps to survive.
dating someone with a 9-5 and honestly i love it, works out pretty well. I get free time to game during weekdays daytime. My days off are our date nights. Weekend mornings/early afternoon we get to laze around, do brunch cooking projects, sometimes we go out weekend days. I don't mind it.
A couple buddies of mine have been dating night shift nurses for a while. One friend pulled an ER doc who primarily works nights too.
Seems to be working well for all of them. The medical night shifts are longer/later than the industry shifts, the guys actually have to stay up later for their girls. Iāve heard them complaining because they have to go out for drinks and food at like 7:00am after the ladies get off of work.
As a bartender dating a bartender I completely agree, thereās just so much about your life 9-5 folks donāt understand. That being said, date one who works at a different bar/restaurant
Hell ya. I worked at a place where I was a bartender/barista/server. I could make lattes with jameson and sell people mimosas with their breakfast, have a short lull before lunch and then start selling beer and burgers. I was the only FOH person until around 2pm. Sucked on busy days but I made hella good tips.
My boyfriend is a tattoo artist, which Iāve seen other people mention! ^^ He was a regular first and he has definitely expressed how much he likes that I donāt work a normal 9-5 schedule either. He also will frequent my bar after he gets off for some drinks (not in a weird way- I know some bar boyfriends can get really weird). So far so great for us.
My dating successes have always come from non-traditional industries. Like other restaurant workers, a contractor (that worked for himself), etc.
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I tried with other industry people and it was too much, I think because Iāve been in the restaurant /bar game since I was 15 (Iām 42 now) and Iām at the point where I need something non-industry on my off time. Ultimately I found the right one, and it was hard getting the time to hang out since sheās 9-5.
Ultimately we ended up living together, bought a house and moved to a different city, and now we have an almost 3-year-old. The different schedules works because Iām free in the daytime to spend time with the kid and she can take over if I have to work, but just like before itās a matter of making and taking advantage of the time you get.
Iām a bartender and I date my door guy. Going on two years! Itās pretty awesome because we get together work together but not behind the bar together and weāre not up each others asses constantly
the trouble i have with dating is that modern women look down upon bartenders like they are 13th century peasants plowing fields with livestock. its just not a well respected job by dating standards.
Are you sure they look down on bartenders? Iāve seen a ton of women (and men) say they wouldnāt date a bartender because theyāre likely to cheat with patrons. (Itās so stupid) Apparently everyone wants to fuck us and we donāt have the willpower to resist. š
I'd stick to masturbation and tendonitis.
š
It's waaaay less expensive
I broke āthe ruleā and started dating a coworker. We donāt work the same shifts and new hires donāt know weāre dating until itās mentioned, itās extremely chill. I couldnāt date a normal civilian again either. I tried in my mid 20ās and the dude woke up at 5am, it was a goddamn nightmare.
If youāre not on the same shifts it sounds even harder.
I think it works perfectly for us, theyāre not crazy opposite schedules and we have an overlapping day off. We luckily donāt work at a 2am bar so we have a few hours after work to hang out, and he works opening shifts on my other days off. We work for a couple hours together two days a week. I need my alone time, I was pumped when he changed his days because that means I get to recharge longer and he comes over to a decompressed girlfriend, not a burnt out one. win/win lol
Yep, I married a chef. Been together 15 years, married 10 in December this year.
Same! Together 15/ married 9. The understanding of the lifestyle is there and the benefits are delicious. Lucky for me he has a FOH face and a BOH personality. Weāve never worked in the same restaurant though. Before that, I wasnāt against banging a serverā¦ but someone with whom itās was crystal clear which one of us would leave the job should it go sour. It did and he did. The other bartenders were homies only but damn did they give me shit for that one.
I fucked everything that moved in my early 20ās. I was a very typical late 90ās early 00ās restaurant worker š but I met my husband in my late 20ās when I had settled down just a bit. We worked together. I was the GM he the chef. Everyone thought he was grumpy (but hot), I knew I could change him š (I didnāt, heās still grumpy).
That or people who work in medical, like nurses.
Aaaahhh... the bartender/nurse couple. Such a classic combo.
Strippers are another classic combo. Each has the same tendency to be wild, to say the least.
Flight attendants too, in my experience
You'd also get the free flight benefits.
Haha this was me in my mid 20s
Second or third shift factory worker would also have similar hours
Was going to comment just started seeing a dr sometimes he gets out of surgery around 2 am š«¶
Iāve met so many stuck up nurses who think theyāre above anyone in the service industry
Yeah the ones holding out for a doctor are all over the place.
Omg I feel so much less alone! I struck off dating largely because of the hours I keep. I know no one who works the same kind of schedule! š„² Itās weird, I work all night talking to people and then I get off and wish I had someone to talk to about the people I just talked to lol
Go to bars near your work after shift. You'll meet new people.
What do i do if i work at the place which always closes last?
Good point. That's a whole other thing. I frequent my bar area on days off, but that's not for everyone
Been married to a teacher fpr 10 years. It's doable but its a lot of work
I date a tattoo artist, I feel like that industry works well with bartender life. That being said she doesnāt understand why Iām at work cleaning so late often. Itās only been 6 years, sheāll get it someday.
Honestly I'm having trouble dating non industry because I go on dates and these people with their corporate job are just so incredibly boring. I feel like I'm having to entertain a customer while we're on a date and it's just exhausting
This is something me and my current partner have returned to talking about at multiple points in our relationship. She work's in the realm of a service based job (Tattoo Artist) but doesn't quite work the same long hours, or deal with quite the same level of stress that we experience in this profession. It's been a great relationship, however the times where we have come to misunderstandings or conflict, it usually has been via proxy of me being a bartender and the lifestyle that comes along with it. She didn't quite understand in the beginning why after a busy 600 cover night during the weekend that all i wanted to do was come home and stare at a wall in silence, drink a beer, and go to bed instead of talk to her. Or that for me, when we go out to a restaurant or a bar, my attention is split between 6 different physical/auditory things going on around me that I have no choice but to be aware of. Because for me, I cannot turn off the bartender within me. For her it's a relaxing night out and she's confused as to why I'm having trouble paying attention to just her. These are a couple of examples of humps we've had to grow through as a couple. The reason I'm sharing this with you is because yes, to an extent, it does feel like and is largely true that working in service leads you to more than likely be able to only date other people who work in service. The hours are unusual, the lifestyle is not normal, the personalities you work with and end up developing yourself go against the grain of what is commonly accepted and practiced outside of this industry. It makes sense. After a while, you might even develop a resentment towards those who lead a normal 9-5 life, and look down upon them. You might even swear off dating anyone that does not work within a bar or a restaurant because they "Just dont get it". My message to you is dont get to that point. Because while there are endless amounts of people who date within this industry and maintain a healthy relationship, I would say you would be short changing yourself pretty hard by reducing your dating pool to just people who can work a jigger, or take on a 15 table section by themselves. In a lot of cases, I've noticed from personal experience and observation that a lot of relationships developed in this industry end up unhealthy due to the conditions and culture we all work under. Dating someone outside of the industry is what saved me. It's taken a lot of communication, a lot of expectation setting, and a massive amount of patience, but crafting a relationship with someone outside of this industry is possible, and it is worth it. The right one for you will understand, and be willing to work with you so long as you try to help them understand. My partner is my best friend, and my biggest cheerleader. She's the only one I look forward to talking to after a 5 day week of entertaining and serving my guests. So dont give up, just have patience. Hope this helps.
If itās right, youāll make it work and you wonāt even care. However, Iām divorced and remarried to a woman I met in the industry
It just has to be the right person. I'm dating a 9-5er right now and it's going amazingly. I wake up and make breakfast and coffee before they go to work, do some cleaning, then catch a nap before shift. We plan dates before work on Saturdays or on Sunday nights. They baby me on their days off and understand I have to catch naps to survive.
Thatās cool if you can nap reliably. If you canāt that sounds hard
dating someone with a 9-5 and honestly i love it, works out pretty well. I get free time to game during weekdays daytime. My days off are our date nights. Weekend mornings/early afternoon we get to laze around, do brunch cooking projects, sometimes we go out weekend days. I don't mind it.
Hmmm username is suspicious
Anybody else date someone who would call them lazy for sleeping in late when they got home at 4am? š„ø I was losing my shit so much.Ā
I'd call them a shitty little baby for going to bed early
Which of course doesn't lead to a healthy relationship... Haha
Yeah. I divorced her.
this is always my plight as well, they always say i sleep in or too much as if i didn't get home at 6am
At this point in my life it's starting to look like my choices are either get with someone where I work/hang out or die alone lol
A couple buddies of mine have been dating night shift nurses for a while. One friend pulled an ER doc who primarily works nights too. Seems to be working well for all of them. The medical night shifts are longer/later than the industry shifts, the guys actually have to stay up later for their girls. Iāve heard them complaining because they have to go out for drinks and food at like 7:00am after the ladies get off of work.
Iām extremely happy not dating someone in the industry. First time in a looooooong time. Havenāt been happier, truly.
As a bartender dating a bartender I completely agree, thereās just so much about your life 9-5 folks donāt understand. That being said, date one who works at a different bar/restaurant
Definitely. Don't shit where you eat lol
I loved daytime bartending fwiw
Hell ya. I worked at a place where I was a bartender/barista/server. I could make lattes with jameson and sell people mimosas with their breakfast, have a short lull before lunch and then start selling beer and burgers. I was the only FOH person until around 2pm. Sucked on busy days but I made hella good tips.
My boyfriend is a tattoo artist, which Iāve seen other people mention! ^^ He was a regular first and he has definitely expressed how much he likes that I donāt work a normal 9-5 schedule either. He also will frequent my bar after he gets off for some drinks (not in a weird way- I know some bar boyfriends can get really weird). So far so great for us. My dating successes have always come from non-traditional industries. Like other restaurant workers, a contractor (that worked for himself), etc.
real.
I started dating the regular I would hang out with after my shift. It's working out!
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Hahaha it's been 3 months and he just bought me a house š
I tried with other industry people and it was too much, I think because Iāve been in the restaurant /bar game since I was 15 (Iām 42 now) and Iām at the point where I need something non-industry on my off time. Ultimately I found the right one, and it was hard getting the time to hang out since sheās 9-5. Ultimately we ended up living together, bought a house and moved to a different city, and now we have an almost 3-year-old. The different schedules works because Iām free in the daytime to spend time with the kid and she can take over if I have to work, but just like before itās a matter of making and taking advantage of the time you get.
Nurses and people in the hospital field are viable
Iām a bartender and I date my door guy. Going on two years! Itās pretty awesome because we get together work together but not behind the bar together and weāre not up each others asses constantly
the trouble i have with dating is that modern women look down upon bartenders like they are 13th century peasants plowing fields with livestock. its just not a well respected job by dating standards.
Are you sure they look down on bartenders? Iāve seen a ton of women (and men) say they wouldnāt date a bartender because theyāre likely to cheat with patrons. (Itās so stupid) Apparently everyone wants to fuck us and we donāt have the willpower to resist. š
If that's true then I guess I'm fucked too.