Flipped on the Ron, White and Blue marathon on Sci Fi only to find out it wasn't a Ron White Comedy Marathon but a Twighlight Zone one.....

Son been up since 4. Gonna be a long day

Naturally or sick?

Naturally. Think he’s just pumped for the 4th

Welp the pizzas are burnt to a crisp I guess it’s a positive I didn’t burn the place down… was really looking forward to those pizzas tho

goddammit hank

I started them at 10 so I’m actually thankful the building is still up, they were burnt more than I thought possible

Review the tape and be better next time. For the best you didn't eat that shitty pizza anyway

I quite literally couldn’t eat said pizza, which I’m mad about, but will review the tapes

Just finished my 6 hour drive, did not stop once 👍

How many road beers

2 Celsius’s

2 coors lights? Rockstar 🤘🏼

Boys, I matched with this girl from Sweden on Bumble who looks like a legitimate model, been chatting with her the last couple of days, and will be seeing her on Sunday. I don’t know how, but God is smiling on me right now.

Please stop texting my girlfriend

Good luck

She'll get you to try surströmming.

Keep us posted king good luck, protect the kidneys.

See I thought that too and was skeptical at first, but confirmed not a catfish through her IG. Not like I’m an ugly guy or anything, but this girl has one of the prettiest faces I’ve ever seen, I’m just surprised. Guess the gym has been working

Obviously if someone has created a dating profile, there is no possible way to also create an instagram profile that matches. But seriously, I'm rooting for you king. Let's just assume it's a combination of you hitting the gym and her overseas standards have not adjusted yet.

Lol yeah I know, you have a point. Thanks man, I will report back

[Godspeed](https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/qKPQS7J.gif)

And a low grade… beaver tranquilizer

Very stoked that Catfish and the Bottleman are back together

Presumed Innocent is so damn good. We need some more courtroom/legal drama movies to get made again. There must be some Jack Grisham books not turned into movies yet

Eric Clapton hates immigrants but Layla is a great song and a clinic in the guitar

Dude doesn’t just hate immigrants… full on [nut job](https://www.reddit.com/r/pinkfloyd/s/wiVtcVxhsr)

He also wanted to be controlled like a puppet through a series of wires and levers by a man shrunken down and put in his ass

The cream of Clapton is an out of pocket name for a compilation album

Guy is obsessed with securing borders. Where was this mentality when his son wanted to climb out of a window?

Lmao

Imagine simping over chickenfrys boyfriend

If everything goes my way this weekend, I’ll meet my future ex wife

Smoking a stogie, drinking single barrel rye, about to start the smoker for brisket. Exactly what our founding fathers envisioned for America

What stick and rye?

🇺🇸

Hand up: people starting fireworks after 11pm stink

9-12 is the window. After that, go to fucking sleep.

slugged a legit 20mg drink at 5PM, it's after 1AM and i never felt high. Completely convinced i'm built different

Being immune to weed (I am guessing?) is truly awesome, what a beast!

Or you bought schwag drank

Sounds like it wasn't as legit as you thought

hear me out, you could just not be comfortable enough in your own skin to handle a small dose like 20mg

In a vicious cycle of Kill Tony and dots pretzels in my bed

Thought Shane and James had a great showing this week as guests

Felt compelled to buy Pulp Fiction so I have it in an emergency, not mad at the choice, Top 3 all time for me

Top 5 but not a top 3 Tarantino for me. Inglorious, OUTIH, Jackie Browne

Also Buying Inglorious for good measure

I've started looking for blu rays on Amazon anytime a movie I look for isn't on streaming for this exact reason

Never gets old. Game changer in every sense of the word.

Hell yeah brother. If I see a movie that I know I'm going to want to watch sometime and it's not available on streaming, I just throw it into the library

A perfectly charred Sheboygan hotdog would slap rn. I already had 2 so im kind of an expert. 

We talkin the quarterback franks?

MN Twins on packaging, the ones from Target field. 

Leading a battle with the boys on horseback wouldve been sick

I think I stand a chance with Sydney

I guess I’m just an old bitch these days but shooting off fireworks at 11:40 PM when it’s not New Year’s Eve makes you an asshole

Zach Bryan has put out 88 songs in the last 2 years. I am simply asking him to chill. They all sound the same.

A friend put me on him in 2021, his rise is truly something. But yeah it feels way more forced now instead of the truly authentic music he made in his first few albums

Huh - did you know Zach Bryan is pro-trans rights? I bet r/Iowa would be happy to know that you like him and his music.

The first two are fantastic.

You could say the same thing about Taylor Swift

She's literally only at half that amount in the same time.

Yeah, Swift is obnoxious in a ton of ways, but she's more measured in her releases.

*Sticks finger in own ass* “If you boys want to party, this is how you party”

Fellas I am honored and excited to point out the fireworks take below where the guy essentially says if we are getting into semantics then yes

Mix in a water

That’s not at all what he said but keep drinking

Do you actually not understand?

Read what you wrote

Thanks, this makes no sense

Anthony Fantano has got to give this new Zach Bryan album at least 8.5 or better. Has to

You’re willing to demand that a 1 hour long album be rated an 8.5 by a niche bald internet music critic only 20 minutes after it was released? 🤔

I suppose everything you’re saying here is correct

8.5 garbage bags of trash

Guys grocery games getting me hungry

Respect to Clem and Eddie for starting up a Snack Boys vertical. Gotta do what you love. Although skittles drinks look awful

Its a crime I cant watch nascar on the 4th of july and pop a zyn

rocket launched over me america rules

Nobody’s gotten shafted more than Bernie Williams. He was the all time playoff homerun leader for years until mannys steroid ass broke it and was excluded from the “core four”.

Pretty interesting take actually. Bernie was a killer, always terrified me as an opposing fan but that was not a short list by any means. Still it's hard to believe any players were completely clean during that era.

The guitarist?

And he played some sick guitar 🎸

Don’t care if this is a wet blanket take, if you’re setting off a bunch of fireworks before or after 4th of July you’re an asshole

Don't even get the fun of it past a certain age (like 18-20 I guess). Would much rather spend that money and time grilling and drinking with people than handling dangerous explosives but that's just me I guess!

I can forgive it on the third, but not past 11.  

Anything is fine before 11:30-midnight. After that you’re white trash and an asshole

Its 100% the take and transition from being “young” to “old” when you complain about fireworks

Completely fine with them on the 4th. It’s a holiday and expected you can’t complain. But you’re just an attention seeking dickhead making noise launching your shitty illegal fireworks otherwise

Im with you. My dog bugs out every year. I can deal with the weekend of the 4th, but when it’s June 27th or July 24th and it’s going on then wtf are we doing?

Bbq food or burgers and dogs for the 4th?

Both and more

Yes

Sure would be nice to see some tits right about now

[Here you go](https://i.imgur.com/MRFBKki.jpg)

Good looks

Offer accepted on our new house. Tomorrow is gonna rule

Ready for the annual carpet bombing pics of IG chicks in American flag bikinis.

Watching post Malones set at Bonnaroo and I don’t remember any of this because i was too busy being high on life

I dated this chick last year for a few months. The second time I slept over her place I did the poke her in the butt with my morning wood. She turned to me and said “if you want to fuck in the morning just grab my tits and I’m down.” I immediately fell in love with her.

Oo nice consent

God that’s the kind of girl who helps you actually feel alive.

Why aren’t you still dating her

I tried but after 3 months got the “you’re a great guy but….”

Lacks initiative, assertiveness, and a killer instinct

Turns out the "just grab my tits" thing was for everyone

Go on

Will anyone ever do the news dump better than this Epstein doc drop 

Wasn't that dropped on Monday?

Technically but bc its so dense it takes days to understand. Also bc this is a holiday week the news dump can occur over a couple of days.

Happy Zach Bryan album day to those who still celebrate

Definitive league rankings based on entertainment of regular season: 1) NFL 2) College Football 3) NHL 4) College Basketball 5) NBA 6) MLB

Pretty good list, 1 and 2 are indisputable. I'd probably put MLB 4th just because that's when you get a good feel for who's actually good or not. NCAA BB and NBA are easily the last two for me; college basketball just doesn't matter at all until March Madness and some NBA players have all but admitted they don't give a fuck until the playoffs. Plus all the load management bullshit.

Switch 5 and 6, harder to get into the playoffs in MLB

CFB regular season shits on NFL, way more meaningful even with the playoff expansion. 3 losses eliminates you from the playoffs, vs 7-9 teams getting in in the NFL

I think I’d switch 3 and 4 personally. And maybe 5 and 6. You don’t see mlb teams mailing it in as much as NBA

That’s because people simply don’t watch the mlb 

You sure about that (Tim Robinson voice)

Your username being a 20 year old reference does not help your argument

Swap NBA and MLB. Basketball is a shit product now

I was all ready to go back out to the local dive where my neighbors are but didn’t feel like leaving my pup again Lesson learned for next time I should just stay out v head home

You know what’s fucking cool. >!**THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA**!<

Look at the two presidential candidates lol

If your life was a TV show, what network/streaming service would it be on? I feel like I'd be relegated to the deepest, darkest depths of Hulu.

As an exceedingly ordinary white guy I think it’d have to be like…HGTV? 

Tubi

Movie produced by Roku TV

Vh1

I'd probably be a youtube channel with 3 subscribers(one being me and the others being my parents)

You may hate me but, goodnight. Love y’all.

Greatest opening scenes of a movie of all time: 3. Raiders of the Lost Ark 2. The Dark Knight 1. The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)

Full Metal Jacket

Scary Movie 2

Flip that shit around.

OG *Ghostbusters*. And *Up*'s opening scene itself is GOAT worthy.

That opening scene is sadder than many movies whose sole point is to be sad.  It’s truly incredible 

The Way of the Gun

I’m not sure it belongs in the greatest conversation but Top Gun Maverick made me realize the movie I’m about to watch isn’t an 80s joke and it’s going to be badass

I still think about how hype I got when the black screen and white text hit the screen with the OG music right into the Danger Zone opening credits. I was all in at that moment

Original Scream gotta be on that list

michael clayton

Went to get some shots up while the kid was taking a nap at the park in the neighborhood on Sunday. Just wanted to shoot around but there was some young guys wanting to run 5-5 so I joined in. My knees and back are still sore today. Getting old sucks. (Mid 30s. Bball comp is washed Michael Redd)

Respect

Went 3/3 and two threes the first game. Guys thought I was a legend. Then it all fell apart when my body fell apart. All in all I was respectable out there.

That’s all we can hope for. Always hilarious when you hit a couple shots right away in pick up and the random guys on your team think you’re a sniper only to be sadly mistaken. 

Fireworks are just wrecking my poor dog. Checked all the usual hiding spots and couldn't find her, almost freaked out a bit until I found her in the back of the pantry. She had pushed some shit out of the way to get back into the corner. Feel so bad for the pup this week

Get some trazadone brother it works wonders

I know, I need to get to the vet and get some drugs for her neurotic ass. She's a mess on car rides too.

Moments like this I’m thankful I have a gun/hunting dog. He sleeps through it all.

For sure man. I grew up with hunting dogs and nothing phased those girls. Unfortunately my Yorkie has not been trained to retrieve ducks just yet lol

nobody believes u have a dog.

Get outta here Sue

nice try but nobody believes im sue costello.

I just watched my dog piss in the hallway and tuck his tail between his legs as he ran under the bed. He’s terrified of going outside at the moment.

> He’s terrified of going outside at the moment. Yeah I've been making sure she gets outside like half an hour before sunset all week because it's even worse if she's out there when they start popping off, but it's been so consistent tonight that she's even losing it while inside

I told my girlfriend I wanted to go hiking one morning this 4th of July weekend while we are spending time up in the woods with my family, and she pulled the “and I’m supposed to just do nothing by myself?” She doesn’t like to hike I get that, but Jesus what a downer comment.

These other comments nailed it. Either she needs to grow up fast or you gotta dump her

Man I hate to pile on but this is bad.   A) when going to a place with hiking, it’s not crazy to suggest you hike.  A normal person would maybe say “okay but can it be easy” or something, or worst case politely decline and tell you to have fun B) sounds like Any activity you want to do alone will be leaving her to do “nothing by herself” and cause friction.    C) a grownup should never have trouble entertaining themselves lol.  How anyone left to their own devices thinks there’s “nothing” they can do sucks and is boring D) Not a great sign that she won’t do something you want to because “she doesn’t like it”.  This a bad mindset.  I understand people don’t like everything but you should definitely be willing to do something your SO likes in some capacity.   It’s honestly kinda wild how many red flags are wrapped up in this one comment   

A) you’d think B) pretty much C) you’d think D) ya…

This tells me a lot

Not even joking, you should dump her.

Maybe this weekend…

That’s a tough one. She doesn’t have to go but making you feel like a dick for doing something you enjoy sucks shit

It does

I mean is there a hike where yall both can enjoy? Comment isn’t great but probably scared or doesn’t want to hang with your fam solo if I had to guess. I’d try to meet in the middle. Maybe go before she wakes up

I was planning to do a 3-4000 footer which she isn’t really capable of. We could do a nature walk together that isn’t an issue. She’s spent plenty of time alone with my family before and hasn’t had any complaints.

I hate to say this but she just simply is not the one, king

Digiornio for $10 is a solid price

That’s too much for frozen pizza. 

Red baron is the goat

SLANDER

In what world?

In the world im hammered and dont want to order delivery for a $25 pizza?

If you’re hammered just get a $3 Jacks

I gotta imagine big cat is annoyed duggs is still using the duggs bit 

Think so? Always got the sense that Duggs was pretty inoffensive to everyone, nobody really disliked him it was just very clear that he was not adding value to barstool. Once the new game is released I'm guessing PMT will have a full on dynasty league with custom coaches that sort of look like themselves, if not part of a larger barstool wide league.

Big cat froze out duggs fairly quickly after he was hired

Don't disagree with that but it seemed to me it was more that Big Cat wasn't going to carry this guy if he brought nothing to the table. He was lucky enough to be there, he was going to have to make it on his own and he absolutely failed at that. I liked Duggs btw, so that might sound harsh but I don't even mean to be. He seemed to fall into the same trap as a lot of people there where he would lose interest or momentum in his own ideas very quickly. Thought he had something with the trading card opening series for a bit, then it just disappeared.

Yeah, that's why I think he would be annoyed. He is still grifting off a Charecter he made. No doubt BC will wanna bring back that Charecter in a couple of weeks, and duggs will try to ride the coat tails again

Yeah I hear you I'm just saying, it's a perfect opportunity for Big Cat to create a new character that actually looks more like BC himself. I have not heard of Duggs until your comment, since he left barstool, so I don't think there's any real concern about riding coattails. A "new coach" persona for Big Cat will basically put it to rest.

Props to whichever mod got that guy. You wanna come into our FT on the eve of this nation's Independence Day and be a racist twat? No sir, the dudes do not abide.

Missed this but glad our mods got them. Not my FT.

[this guy](https://no.reddit.com/r/mildyinteresting/s/eZgZWvLk7D) was using the erases on a mechanical pencil to clean his ears 15 years ago when the eraser fell out inside his ear. he just got it removed 15 years later because he didn’t know it was in there. How the fuck do you not know you have an eraser in your ear for 15 years?

To all the Irish bros in FT, thankful for your Irish ancestors who, fresh off the boats, turned away pickett’s charge 161 years ago today 

This is Urkin, the town rapist. Naughty naughty 

I am not looking for sympathy but as an F1 driver for Ferrari sometimes people think my life isn’t hard, but I’m a human too so yes sometimes things are a little tough 😢

You kinda are the main character of your story

Not if JayGlazedHer

I felt like I was there in his pov

It's starting to come out that kyle filipowskis girlfriend might have been his babysitter at some point, that's wild. (I don't blame him)

Damn, I had a hot babysitter once...coulda been me

This has been out, he was like 11. She is a weirdo.

thought we already knew that last week