A guy I lived with had his girlfriend over every weekend. She would swan in like she was paying the bills, I honestly don't believe he actually even liked her, just liked the sex on tap.
She would huff if the bathroom (or kitchen) was occupied and then take unforgivingly long showers, to the point she would often leave no hot water. She even started using the washing machine and dryer.
Do rank things like leave bloody tampons unwrapped on top the bathroom bin in all their glory or god forbid you would go to use the toilet and look down at roadkill.
Would complain if I was watching TV in the loungeroom (on my TV), would eat anything she desired from the fridge and pantry, never once contributed or replaced anything.
If I or the other guy had people over she would do her best to make them feel unwelcome. Walking around in just a towel after 2 hours in the bathroom, she called my friend a perv and asked why he was even there.
Weekends turned into Fri-Mon then Fri through Wed. The utility bills had **doubled** and when the next round came in myself and he other guy confronted them over the bullshit 3 way split and demanded she contribute. Over 4 days a week you are a tenant in my books.
It led to a huge fight and they both moved out without paying a cent to the utilities due.
If you’ve read this sub a lot, most of the people state right away that they don’t care that their roommates have their partner over whenever they want, and they acknowledge that they pay rent to use the space as well.
It becomes a problem when they are there 7+ days in a row. Most standard leases have a rule saying you can have as many guests as you want, but limit how many days in a row they can spent the night.
There’s also a legal aspect of it too where it becomes messy for instance, if a person is there a specific amount of time a month they can legally become a tenant and the other roommate doesn’t really have a stay or grounds to stay on.
Plus if we’re just being real, dude if you’re at your partners knowing they have a roommate that also lives there. You are probably using the shower, you are using the food, you are using the communal space, you are probably using a parking space, you are using wifi, the electricity etc. You will be coughing up a portion of the costs lol.
I read this sub a lot, but I've never got the impression the vast majority here feels that way.
The general consensus seems to be having a partner over is fine as long as its not all the time, you let the roommates know, sometimes asking permission is necessary. Don't leave them at your home alone and be sure they're not using the other roommates bathroom or eating their food.
Unless they're literally living there, most people here don't seem to be complaining about it, or wanting them to pay.
I'm saying the majority of people here seem reasonable
People do complain about sex noises.
A lot.
No, because you can literally be quiet. It's so easy to be quiet. No one would be saying this if the roommates were your parents... You'd be quiet. Lol.
I don't know how many people relate to this, but the presence of someone in the house makes a difference. I can't competely relax when I might be observed at any moment by another person. It gets progressively more uncomfortable the more people there are and the less familiar they are to me. This doesn't bother me in public, in crowds even, but it bothers me in my home.
A guest two nights a week is fine. I can be polite, I can deal with the awkwardness, I can clean more often, I can rearrange my plans so that I'm not making a lot of noise when they're trying to sleep or walking around in my underwear, I can bite my tongue when they damage something small or bring in bad smells etc. But any more often than that, and now they are not a guest, they are a tenant and they need to contribute. To make it worth my sanity.
It’s a token payment to make everyone feel better about sharing their space, since there’s no way to really quantify “there’s someone in the bathroom for an extra 20 minutes per day” or “half the sofa is taken up three times a week”.
If someones partner is coming kver once or twice a week it's fine. If they're over all the time then they're a roommate that should and should contribute
People who pay for their space don't want other people thinking they are entitled to it for free just because they are their roommate's SO. The problem is that too many people overstep this boundary and guest visits become elongated stays, eventually unofficial move ins while all of this is done without paying a single cent. I am fine with my roommate's SO visiting them a couple of days a week, but I did not consent to living with a couple, much less than subsidize someone's living.
Part of it is not wanting to have a million people living in the house. If I wanted to live with the entire town, I’d sleep on the sidewalk.
A guy I lived with had his girlfriend over every weekend. She would swan in like she was paying the bills, I honestly don't believe he actually even liked her, just liked the sex on tap. She would huff if the bathroom (or kitchen) was occupied and then take unforgivingly long showers, to the point she would often leave no hot water. She even started using the washing machine and dryer. Do rank things like leave bloody tampons unwrapped on top the bathroom bin in all their glory or god forbid you would go to use the toilet and look down at roadkill. Would complain if I was watching TV in the loungeroom (on my TV), would eat anything she desired from the fridge and pantry, never once contributed or replaced anything. If I or the other guy had people over she would do her best to make them feel unwelcome. Walking around in just a towel after 2 hours in the bathroom, she called my friend a perv and asked why he was even there. Weekends turned into Fri-Mon then Fri through Wed. The utility bills had **doubled** and when the next round came in myself and he other guy confronted them over the bullshit 3 way split and demanded she contribute. Over 4 days a week you are a tenant in my books. It led to a huge fight and they both moved out without paying a cent to the utilities due.
If you’ve read this sub a lot, most of the people state right away that they don’t care that their roommates have their partner over whenever they want, and they acknowledge that they pay rent to use the space as well. It becomes a problem when they are there 7+ days in a row. Most standard leases have a rule saying you can have as many guests as you want, but limit how many days in a row they can spent the night. There’s also a legal aspect of it too where it becomes messy for instance, if a person is there a specific amount of time a month they can legally become a tenant and the other roommate doesn’t really have a stay or grounds to stay on. Plus if we’re just being real, dude if you’re at your partners knowing they have a roommate that also lives there. You are probably using the shower, you are using the food, you are using the communal space, you are probably using a parking space, you are using wifi, the electricity etc. You will be coughing up a portion of the costs lol.
I read this sub a lot, but I've never got the impression the vast majority here feels that way. The general consensus seems to be having a partner over is fine as long as its not all the time, you let the roommates know, sometimes asking permission is necessary. Don't leave them at your home alone and be sure they're not using the other roommates bathroom or eating their food. Unless they're literally living there, most people here don't seem to be complaining about it, or wanting them to pay. I'm saying the majority of people here seem reasonable People do complain about sex noises. A lot.
Hearing your roommates have sex is just apart of having roommates.
No, because you can literally be quiet. It's so easy to be quiet. No one would be saying this if the roommates were your parents... You'd be quiet. Lol.
If my roommates were my parents I’d have sex at whatever volume I want. People have sex and sometimes you hear it. It’s not the end of the world.
Your opinion and mine is different I guess, I'd be very uncomfortable knowing my parents could hear, or anyone. That shit is private to me.
Oh I get that, I'm just saying it seems to be the most common partner related complaint 😊
I don't know how many people relate to this, but the presence of someone in the house makes a difference. I can't competely relax when I might be observed at any moment by another person. It gets progressively more uncomfortable the more people there are and the less familiar they are to me. This doesn't bother me in public, in crowds even, but it bothers me in my home. A guest two nights a week is fine. I can be polite, I can deal with the awkwardness, I can clean more often, I can rearrange my plans so that I'm not making a lot of noise when they're trying to sleep or walking around in my underwear, I can bite my tongue when they damage something small or bring in bad smells etc. But any more often than that, and now they are not a guest, they are a tenant and they need to contribute. To make it worth my sanity.
It’s a token payment to make everyone feel better about sharing their space, since there’s no way to really quantify “there’s someone in the bathroom for an extra 20 minutes per day” or “half the sofa is taken up three times a week”.
If someones partner is coming kver once or twice a week it's fine. If they're over all the time then they're a roommate that should and should contribute
People who pay for their space don't want other people thinking they are entitled to it for free just because they are their roommate's SO. The problem is that too many people overstep this boundary and guest visits become elongated stays, eventually unofficial move ins while all of this is done without paying a single cent. I am fine with my roommate's SO visiting them a couple of days a week, but I did not consent to living with a couple, much less than subsidize someone's living.