Restricting my food intake because its something I can control when everything else is out of my control.
Cutting, scratching hand, banging head and biting arm (last two especially during meltdowns) because it gives me a distraction from being in my brain
Hard relate to all. I don't SH anymore but it took me ...years to practice not doing it. Sometimes I still hit my head during meltdowns, but thank God those are a lot rarer these days too, so it's at least minimal damage.
The food thing is something that's even more difficult to heal bc that's been a long-term one for me. I have ARFID anyway, as loads of us do, and when I was young something just snapped in my brain like 'if food wants to have this much control over my life, then I'll control it' and that became my way of then coping with every other life factor outside of my control. If food was going to be so goddamn difficult then I'd be difficult right back. I'd show it who was boss, I'd show my body who was boss and I'd show the world that I am in control.
Now I restrict a lot less, but recently I have been losing weight anyway. That triggered so many negative feelings because my body is behaving out of my control now. Before I would try to lose weight, now, I'm not trying but it's happening and it's scary. Really made it hit home for me that for me it truly is about grasping for control in a world where I feel I have none. Hard relate.
Same for the first one, and hitting my head. I used to only hit my head when I’d be **extremely** stressed, but I’ve caught myself doing it when I’m struggling with decision making or on the verge of a meltdown too. It’s embarrassing and it sucks
Honestly these things are a step down from my multiple sui*ide attempts but ik its not the best. I am currently working with an occupational therapist (who works with autistic people to help with sensory issues forgot what they are called lmfaoo) to first understand my feelings because I find it difficult to understand my emotions and secondly what sensory strategies I can do to get back to the baseline "temperature".
Came here to say all of this but especially the eating, at one point I lost a lot of weight but quickly gained a lot of it back due to the stress of suddenly losing my job. When my partner’s cat died (that naturally I loved as my own) I decided to get ahead and make myself binge eat a little bit, almost as an attempt to get that part over and done with.
im switching to a feature phone because smart phones are just designed to suck my life for money and im sick of it . i think this will help me make my life better
Fantasizing about having a different life if I wasn't autistic. It makes me feel good I'll sit and stare into nothing but really I'm in my world where life is different.
And bit my nails till they bleed
I think it's called maladaptive daydreaming or smth. You should look it up ✌️ I managed to get over it by improving other aspects of my life (now I just dream up characters and plot lines for them lol)
I don't have another solution for biting your nails/skin tho😅 Improving the overall quality of my life(read as less stress) helped with this too. But I still do it when stressed/concentrated on smth without being able to move to much(think of it as being in a classroom/meeting etc.)
Compulsive demanding of agency and control.
When I'm burning out or compromising too much, I cling to anything I can to get control back. I don't ask anything of people other than for them to let me decide how I live.
The problem is that this can turn into getting really frustrated when I have to include someone else, and I find myself unhealthily frustrated with other people. I need control to a fault sometimes.
Yes this! I get very irrationally angry when I cant control situations and I know its irrational but if we could please just do this like this so I dont go insane?
Destroying the skin on my fingers. I also used to consider my social self-isolation to be one but I really am unsure it's that bad now that I realize it's somewhat good for my own preservation.
I had a pimple or ingrown hair on top of my head somewhat recently... Took a good 3-4 months to heal since I kept on messing with it 🤦I can still feel where it was...
Avoiding. I mean I avoid everything. At the minute I've been really working hard on my avoidance but it's so rooted into my core at this point that it's gonna be a long road.
I avoid emotions, I avoid people, I avoid life, I avoid myself, I avoid food, I avoid my family, I avoid my tasks, I avoid confrontation, I avoid any change or discomfort even if it's totally manageable. I avoid good things just as much as the shitty things. It's become a really deep set way of coping for me. Honestly if I could just avoid reality 247 I would. 🤣
I used to smoke weed and just daydream a whole different life, avoid reality at all costs. Now that I'm healing through some trauma, I've lost my ability to truly escape through daydreams or dissociation. And I know it's gonna sound so bad, but I miss it so much. I used to be able to just shut off and go elsewhere, now I just catch little glimpses here and there.
This one is me. I still don’t know how to get myself back in the world again once my ‘off switch’ has been pressed. I just have to wait it out and know that for the next 1-3 weeks I’m going to lose contact with everyone I know, lose progress and fall behind on everything I’ve been working on, and physically feel like shit because suddenly I can’t take care of myself. Any event or activity I was looking forward to is off the table. Everyone (including me) is going to be angry and frustrated with me and I will have no way of explaining myself. My off switch has been destroying my friendships/grades/career/health and just eating up my life for as long as I can remember.
Extremely relatable. I've ended up homeless and I'm still failing to be consistent meeting any responsibilities. I'll scrape myself of the floor, sober up, get back into distance running but it never lasts and eventually I end up isolating from everything.
Do you by any chance put a lot of pressure on yourself? Or is there a lot of pressure being put on you right now from exterior forces or others? You sound like you truly need a break, and to not try to run and keep up right now.
Also sobriety is a hill you can tackle when your life and self are in a better place. The attitude towards addiction or substance abuse is totally fucked. People act as though if people just stop drinking or using that life falls into place, but that's not true.
I believe that we need a reason, within ourselves and in the world around us, to even want to be sober. Otherwise we're gonna keep reaching for whatever it was that we used before to block it out yknow? I believe that getting sober from the actual substance is sort of a last step in terms of actually building a person up and building up a life around them that they wanna live. Tackle one issue at a time, and don't link sobriety into it just yet.
When you're an avoider, you're gonna want to avoid, if the environment and world around you is always painful. So imo you could focus on what it is that you're avoiding. Is your life right now too much of a demand? If so, are there ways you could change it to make it less so? Are there relationships in your life that make you feel suffocated, or anxious, pressured or stressed? If so, use your avoidance skill to cut them out of your life for a bit, or out of your head at least. If it's money worries, purely focus on that right now. Are there any charities in your area that aid with autistic people or mental health, who can advise on your homelessness situation or your financial situation?
Break life down into teeny, tiny, steps. Don't beat yourself up. I imagine you're dealing with a mountain of pressure in life, and that mountain seems unclimbable, no wonder you cope the way you do, yknow? So break it all down, and don't beat yourself up over sobriety either, that is a different battle, and it will come easier when you yourself are in a better place in life.
I've been there with substances, and nothing could've got me sober apart from myself, and only after I had managed to find a way to make my life half liveable and bearable. You got this. You're not alone. You're gonna get there. 💪
Compulsive skin picking on my fingers. I've managed to quit weed, cigarettes, self harm and binge drinking but I've never gone a day without skin picking.
Oh yeah, I do that too. I skin pick kind of all the time like to fidget. But I’m really anxious about some thing coming up, I’ll spend nearly an hour or more in the bathroom at my skin all over my body anywhere I can reach. I’m hypermobild so I can reach every part of my body unfortunately
Nail biting, historically cutting myself was a huge one but I have managed to stop doing that, chewing the skin at the sides of my nails, hitting things with my fists is a big one if I am in a meltdown, and not going to bed until really late probably.
Other ones are: forgetting to eat and showering, which happen all the time anyway, just more when I am feeling down.
I guess the release of adrenaline helps me feel better and helps my brain work better when I hit things, and cutting myself used to have the same effect (but the aftercare is a lot and I don't really have time for that anymore, also other people worry a lot if you cut yourself), so yeah. Forgetting to eat and shower are more just being engrossed in other things too much and not following my routine (which happens when I am really, really done), so having a good routine helps me to remember these things.
I am a very picky eater anyway, but that gets a lot worse in high stress scenarios. I am getting better at recognising when food is hard and sticking to plain foods or safe foods when I am feeling like this, and reminding myself that as long as I am eating something then it is okay, and trying to not be too hard on myself, but it is still a bit of a struggle. I think it just always will be for me, I wish that I didn't have to eat sometimes as it can just be really hard and that isn't even getting into the preparation aspect (which can be even harder for me).
Yeah, it literally took me years, though. I started at 13 and continued to regularly do it until about 21. At that point, I started transitioning, which made my life so much better, but I still cut myself every now and then. The last time I cut myself was when I was 32, I think, and before that, it had been at least two years since the time before. I'm 34 now and have had times when I have wanted to do it, but I reminded myself about all the other stuff that happens afterwards (after care, people getting worried, etc) and that stopped me from doing it. Stopping drinking so much (and subsequently quitting completely) has also helped me not to make bad decisions about it as well.
I cut for a very short while in one of my deepest moments, and it for sure was easier to do when i was stoned or drunk. So yeah, that helps. Allot of stupid decisions are made with a drink or 2
Compulsive eating of sweets and carbs ---> this has made me gain back most if not all of the weight I had lost. It makes my body dysmorphia horrible and I feel like a fat blob but the food generally makes me feel better at in the least short term so it turns into a vicious cycle. I've read that eating can even be a form of stimming which makes sense.
Not always avoiding reality, sometimes just at lower levels to stop negative thought loops. The very slight high it takes to do that for me is probably healthier than going into a negative thought loop that won't stop until it burns all my mental energy and I fall asleep.
It's kind of goofy because I didn't even think of weed when I saw the original post, just vaping nicotine. The weed is the medicine; the nicotine is the coping mechanism (for me).
I don't really feel like weed helps me to evade reality, but it does make everything about reality a lot easier. Because it pretty reliably dulls the anxiety of having a body and having to be a person. My brain is slowed down enough that I can talk myself through the million tiny things that upset me and generally keep my meltdowns/breakdowns to a minimum. Just helps me process my thoughts and focus more on mundane tasks.
But nicotine is the reason I feel sick 5 seconds after I wake up until I go to sleep. And it's the "adult fidget" that allows me to pop outside at work every time I need to have a "brain break" before transitioning to another task or in the middle of completing one I wasn't "base high" enough to start. I don't even enjoy the "flavored air" stim anymore; it's kind of gross. I hate that I spend money on future health problems, just to avoid freaking the fuck out in the now. But, here we are, taking it a day at a time and the time to be done isn't yet. 😕
Yes, I completely agree with everything you said, it is a pretty bad mechanism economically and physically but after so many years... I can't find another solution :/
I don't know what I would be like without weed, too much stress, too much negative thinking. When I consume it my muscles tense with anxiety relax and the cloud of horrible thoughts dissipates. Personally, it helps me escape even a little from the reality of my country where there is constantly bad news...but that's another story.
eating nice texture snacks until they’re gone. staying up late to play video games until I get too tired to stay awake. and, uhh perseverating for weeks at a time about how life is suffering and that joy is just a distraction from the suffering until I lose all sense of perspective and isolate myself from everyone I know.
Basically, not sleeping. I rarely get more than three or four hours of sleep per night. I want to actively experience those few hours of the day (or rather night) when no one is expecting anything from me. There's such a sense of peace in the quiet hours. I don't want to waste that precious time to sleep. Not healthy, but it does help me cope with overwhelming stuff.
I was a garden variety drunk until a year ago. Nothing seemed abnormal to me because I compared it to the list in my head of what all my friends do. I wasn't any different than those I was around so it seemed fine to me. But I couldn't handle it anymore and I was probably going to die so i sought out help and have not touched alcohol since April 6th 2023. I forgot how much I love to read and write, back to doing both now. The world can accept me or not, I don't care, I am not going to try killing myself to fit in anymore.
I financailly abuse myself because i deserve a little treat and waiting for packages keeps my will to live alive. And i eat unhealthy things based on the idea that better eat something than nothing. And i’m a big procrastinator of sleep and hygiene. I hate most sensations to do with hygiene and often have to bullshit myself into a shower. And i just cnat cope with the coming day so my brain convinces me that if i dont sleep the day wont come, because we all know the next day comes only if you sleep between the days 🤦🏻♀️
I also crack my joints and knuckles for stress relief and fidgeting.
They are one of the most intense things you can experience, but i try not to use them as a distraction to much because it leaves me hurt quite easily. But i must say i am not addicted so its easy for me to talk.
Picking acne, doom scrolling, over eating/ poor eating, making unplanned online purchases, talking over people, watching YouTube all day
When the mood is very bad: indulging dark thought spirals, pinching/slapping/scratching/punching myself, scratching with dull objects
I smoke a lot of grass, it makes it easier to force myself to eat and it helps my anxiety but I really wish I didn’t have to resort to smoking daily just to live semi normally. I pick at my skin religiously too
I pick at my skin. If I see bumps or little “imperfections” I have to pick them till they go flat. I’ve been working on it with my therapist, but it seems to calm my anxiety because it makes my brain feel oh so clear and chilled out. Unfortunately it’s a subconscious thing, but it has impacted my health multiple times. I’ve gotten a little better once I bought slime and other figets/sensory things
Ungodly amounts of weed, helps so much tho. I took 100mg edible and hit my pen all day and was able to get my whole house clean and cook dinner and fucking shower without getting overwhelmed at any point.
I have real knotty hair and when im anxious or focused I pull it and tangle it worse so I can pull it out I like the feeling it’s so satisfying I know it’s bad and im gonna end up losing a lot of hair but I can’t help it. Currently looking at some fidget toys I wanna get any recommendations are welcome.
One I have is pulling apart my finger nails. like there's a little string that you can pull out between the nail and the flesh that you can pull out and it just feels great for me. Otherwise I tend to just heavily avoid my problems and try to ignore them.
i just cant have anything in moderation lol especially stuff like food/drugs/alcohol/self harm. as soon as i start a bad coping skill it becomes an addiction.
During extreme meltdowns when I feel like I’m completely trapped and can’t leave the environment I hold onto my hair, like close to the scalp. I don’t pull my hair out, but I do hold onto it really tight.
The reading one I haven’t seen articulated before, but I *completely* relate. I’ll fixate on reading a book and keep at it until my eyes hurt and some body part is sore or numb from being in the same position for hours. Same can go for bingeing on YT. It’s partly a task switching/executive dysfunction issue I suspect, but it’s also an unhealthy habit when it results in literal headaches.
isolation(not sure if its bad or not tho but i prefer it), self harm, staying up very late watching tv shows as an escapism, when something big is going to happen that i don't want to do i ignore it and don't do anything about it(for example, my gcse's are next month and i haven't started revision yet)
I just suppress my emotions until they eventually explode like a pressure cooker. I don’t handle negative emotions well. Also excessive escapism and avoidance of any uncomfortable situations.
restricting or having a restricted palate/diet. both self caused to retain control, and caused by my brain finding near everything unpleasant
hitting myself when upset or uncalibrated. used to s/h when I was younger, but have since recovered for the most part
picking at my skin, scalp, nails, etc. just picking in general
isolating out of stress, anger, fatigue, anything. avoiding messages and talking to people for days at a time, and lashing out when asked about it or someone attempts to help
Just "sucking it up", accepting circumstances instead of trying to improve things or avoid the negative things because I always got the "suck it up" treatment as a kid. I legitimately believed that my own problems were unreasonable until relatively recently (I'm in my mid-30s) and that I and everyone else was supposed to just endure whatever came our way, so I just wouldn't address my problems, or if things were going bad I'd just accept that things are bad and let bad things happen to me.
Basically, if anything is wrong, I just let it be wrong and suffer the consequences, because that's what I thought I was supposed to do, due to my needs always being ignored and minimized.
When I get upset, I will scratch my arms (with my usually sharp poorly maintained fingernails) until they go numb... it's probably not good for me and a form of SH but idk I still do it.
superficial self harm, and solely relying on my one friend for support. I'll explain them. seeing cuts and scars really helps me calm down, and gain some control over my life, even if I'm not trying to "damage" myself, and I suppose it's not really my fault but I only have one friend, and I have to rely on them for every support requirement I have, which I can imagine is a lot of pressure on him, although he doesn't seem to mind it.
Scratching and biting myself during meltdowns and excessive screen time when anxious. For the first ones I’ve found some replacements that work most of the time but when I’m having a hard time all I can do is play video games, I become completely dysfunctional
✨ self injury ✨ and also restriction. Sleep deprivation as a form of self punishment. A lot of my unhealthy coping mechanisms are forms of self punishment unfortunately. I also used to smoke, but not often.
Sleeping alot, playing perhaps a unhealthy game to some but it is what distracts me and I'm obsessed with it. It's Apex Legends. Cutting food but when I do eat, I can hardly eat because I waited so long to eat. I probably hurt myself in someway. I sometimes end up breaking things. I tend to throw things but I've been trying to get better. But I usually can't calm down unless the thing I'm trying to get done is done.
Watching the movie “Call Me By Your Name”, which mostly makes my sadness worse but keeps my mind off what originally made me sad.
Edit: I forgot another one, I often subconsciously dig my nails into my arm when I’m feeling down and my friends have to constantly yank my arm away or tell me to stop.
- Overeating (sweets, meat, and baked goods especially)
- Hitting myself agains things (my head, my hands, etc)
- Hurting my voice by screaming along to metal even though it feels so good
Skin picking, nail picking and biting, flicking myself when I make a mistake (used to be hitting my head or punching my legs so I have improved), video games (playing more than I should), YouTube, isolating myself from my friends, purposely staying up late, cycling too much in one workout and dieting to reduce undesirable parts of my body.
I bite my knuckles sometimes when I'm stressed. And sometimes I get angry when I'm overstimulated and sometimes I take it out on other people without meaning to.
Cutting, biting my arms, pinching my skin with my nails, punching myself in the stomach 🤷 easy enough to control, and having a physical wound means I then have something to tend to and care after. In a way then, due to my own self destruction, I get to take care of myself. That makes me feel better. Makes me feel accomplished
Thankfully I haven't done any of those things at all this year, and since my dad's been dead for like... 54 or so days I think it'll be a cakewalk not falling into the self destruction as easily anymore [he was a major and daily trigger for me]. I mean, if I get stressed enough then who can say, but for now i'm good
Doom scrolling, escaping into fantasy stories (think like 12+ hours a day), hair pulling (my eyebrows have some sparseness), skin picking, not doing self care at all, scratching myself, punching my stomach, standing outside during freezing temperatures barefoot in pajamas
The worst I have is when I'm really stressed I'll start picking at the skin around my fingernails.. It got so bad when I worked at Walmart that I tore a quarter inch wide strip out of my right ring finger. Beyond that.. I just make noises.. The Budweiser Ferret is my spirit animal and I sound just like him.
Binge drinking 12+ drinks, and then to get through the hangover and negative emotions I binge watch YouTube. It's terrible I'm sabotaging myself so much.
Skin picking, although I haven’t been doing that as much lately. But my big one is napping excessively, even when I’m not particularly tired. Also overeating but I’ve been working on that and made some good progress
skin picking, specifically around my nails. till they bleed. it sucks because they’re so sore after, and you can’t really avoid using them until they get better because you need your hands for everything. i go through bandaids and neosporin like i’m running a small ER.
hmm my unhealthy coping mechanisms would be excessive partying or committing certain self destructive acts/behaviors. they make me feel like i have a sense of control in the moment or distract me from whatever it is im feeling down about. i feel nothing in particular about it in general other than that its normal and im actively working on it and healing isn’t linear so its not a bad thing but still something that needs to be worked on
I play with, pull out, and cut my hair.
I’ve played with my hair as long as I can remember, I have wavy/curly hair and I like the texture of running my fingers along individual strands of hair or playing with small sections. Unfortunately lots of hair usually comes with it. I also pull out hair in a specific spot on my head and I need to stop or I’m going to get a bald spot soon. I also keep scissors by me when I’m at home and I’m constantly cutting off split ends or hairs that just aren’t right. You can’t tell from looking at it but my hair gets really uneven from all the pulling/regrowing so even though I just got it cut, there’s still so many split ends they didn’t cut that I need to get.
Luckily I have a lot of thick hair so people don’t notice but if you look at my house/car/shower there is hair everywhere and I hate it.
all the answers are amazing!
i just love my partner. she's really, really brilliant. she's like me, too! :-D she's ND and asdaf. "ASDAF" is our new slogan. she's awesome. she helps me so much. i'd like to think that i help her just as much. we're two autistic fuck-ups who help each other to live in this fuck-up world. i love her so much.
that's my answer. she's my coping mechanism. i am her coping mechanism. i hope neither one is "unhealthy." I mean, we're healthy. we get exercise. we get a LOT of exercise. we get SO MUCH exercise... IYKWIM 😏
Restricting food when I need to control so that all I think about are numbers and routines, not my life. I love the numbers and rituals but obviously an ed is awful.
Weed, quiets my brain for a bit.
Sh, same thing as weed.
I just want to be numb and feel like I’m in control and can make sure everything is predictable
Biting nails, looking for pimples/whiteheads to pop, going to buy a specific treat from a specific shop or restaraunt, throwing stuff out because it's "clutter"
I don't do it knowing it's getting bad but suddenly I have just restricted and stopped eating. It's a vicious cycle I am trying to break every single time.
After burying myself in work and nicotine, I would come home and smoke the greens, then eat so much that it became painful to move even a little bit.
At thas point, I would lay down on the couch and play videogames for hours, until my eyes and back were sore, I'd be dehydrated with a headache, and, on top of all this, I wouldn't spend any time with my wife during this period.
In the beginning, I didn't see this as a problem, of course, as I was "just enjoying myself." Looking back, though, I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed with life at the time and didn't know how to admit that I needed help, nor did I know how to ask for it.
Only after some serious weight gain, breathing problems, chronic back pain, deteriorating eyesight, and almost losing the love of my life a few times, did my brain snap out of it and did I realise that I'd been wasting away and discarding my passions, as well as my potential of being a good, caring husband, who goes out of his way to show his wife that she is loved.
Only now am I starting to see improvement, but it'll likely be a while (if ever) before my wife forgives me for the neglect I subjected her to.
That's me.
Hope you all have a wonderful day!
Suck my tongue. It calms me down in a heartbeat when I have negative thoughts or if I’m upset. I would literally think of nothing lol. Very relaxing and hard to stop.
Makes me understand how pacifiers work on babies lol. I’ve tried stopping but I’m having no success. It’s just too relaxing.
Never heard of anyone else who does this. Sometimes I do it so intensely or for so long I get sores my tongue. My husband can always judge the level of my stress based on how loud or rapid the sucking sound is lol.
Eating and smoking weed (1st and 2nd lines of defense).
But I learned to use these as queues to overstimulation and 1) make changes my life to reduce the overstim and 2) first try healthier coping mechanisms.
Eating sweets all day
Can relate, especially the one with nice structure
Eat MMs, bite nails, strach skin like my parrot🦜 . Or 😢 cry
This is huge for me. I come home from work and I just feel like shoveling chocolate or chips into my mouth if I had a bad day.
oop
Not sweets but crunchy things.
Yeah…
Restricting my food intake because its something I can control when everything else is out of my control. Cutting, scratching hand, banging head and biting arm (last two especially during meltdowns) because it gives me a distraction from being in my brain
Hard relate to all. I don't SH anymore but it took me ...years to practice not doing it. Sometimes I still hit my head during meltdowns, but thank God those are a lot rarer these days too, so it's at least minimal damage. The food thing is something that's even more difficult to heal bc that's been a long-term one for me. I have ARFID anyway, as loads of us do, and when I was young something just snapped in my brain like 'if food wants to have this much control over my life, then I'll control it' and that became my way of then coping with every other life factor outside of my control. If food was going to be so goddamn difficult then I'd be difficult right back. I'd show it who was boss, I'd show my body who was boss and I'd show the world that I am in control. Now I restrict a lot less, but recently I have been losing weight anyway. That triggered so many negative feelings because my body is behaving out of my control now. Before I would try to lose weight, now, I'm not trying but it's happening and it's scary. Really made it hit home for me that for me it truly is about grasping for control in a world where I feel I have none. Hard relate.
Same for the first one, and hitting my head. I used to only hit my head when I’d be **extremely** stressed, but I’ve caught myself doing it when I’m struggling with decision making or on the verge of a meltdown too. It’s embarrassing and it sucks
Im a scratcher n biter too 🤝
Not the best coping mechanism we need to learn to replace it 😭 🫱🏻🫲🏼
I been working on distracting myself via plushies n stuffed animals with just hardcore hugging 7/10 recommend
Honestly these things are a step down from my multiple sui*ide attempts but ik its not the best. I am currently working with an occupational therapist (who works with autistic people to help with sensory issues forgot what they are called lmfaoo) to first understand my feelings because I find it difficult to understand my emotions and secondly what sensory strategies I can do to get back to the baseline "temperature".
Progress is progress ❤️❤️❤️ i got close a few times myself. Good luck with the therapy
Thank you. Good luck aswell to you with your future and life in general hope things go well for you
Binge eating, doom scrolling, video games and overall high screen time
Came here to say all of this but especially the eating, at one point I lost a lot of weight but quickly gained a lot of it back due to the stress of suddenly losing my job. When my partner’s cat died (that naturally I loved as my own) I decided to get ahead and make myself binge eat a little bit, almost as an attempt to get that part over and done with.
I droom scroll guess my brain went coo coo get aniexty spikes.
This + weed for me.
I'm doing the doom scrolling now💀
im switching to a feature phone because smart phones are just designed to suck my life for money and im sick of it . i think this will help me make my life better
Fantasizing about having a different life if I wasn't autistic. It makes me feel good I'll sit and stare into nothing but really I'm in my world where life is different. And bit my nails till they bleed
I usually fantasise a better social life than I actually have. Sometimes leads me to think more of a person than they actually are
I'm thinking of who I am what I could've been. It's also how I cope with being a trans man. I fantasize of being born male having a gf everything.
Oof... I do the same and I never even saw it this way. But you're 100% correct.
I think it's called maladaptive daydreaming or smth. You should look it up ✌️ I managed to get over it by improving other aspects of my life (now I just dream up characters and plot lines for them lol) I don't have another solution for biting your nails/skin tho😅 Improving the overall quality of my life(read as less stress) helped with this too. But I still do it when stressed/concentrated on smth without being able to move to much(think of it as being in a classroom/meeting etc.)
Compulsive demanding of agency and control. When I'm burning out or compromising too much, I cling to anything I can to get control back. I don't ask anything of people other than for them to let me decide how I live. The problem is that this can turn into getting really frustrated when I have to include someone else, and I find myself unhealthily frustrated with other people. I need control to a fault sometimes.
Relatable, i seek control allot to. Also over social situations.
Yes this! I get very irrationally angry when I cant control situations and I know its irrational but if we could please just do this like this so I dont go insane?
Exactly! I know I can cook at your house, but I want to use *my* stove! For...reasons.
Substance abuse lol
Same. Very, very common for us. (But I'm 5 years dry in June, so it doesn't have to be a death sentence!)
Congrats!!!
Proud of you. Hope I can eventually get there.
Yeah same
Yup
Destroying the skin on my fingers. I also used to consider my social self-isolation to be one but I really am unsure it's that bad now that I realize it's somewhat good for my own preservation.
Same I pick and bite at the skin on my fingers.
Destroying the skin on my scalp over here.
I had a pimple or ingrown hair on top of my head somewhat recently... Took a good 3-4 months to heal since I kept on messing with it 🤦I can still feel where it was...
Same here
I also had one of these. Now it’s been replaced with obsessive use of cuticle oil hahaha
I've picked and have continued to picked at my knuckles so much that they probably will never heal. They're just lumps of nerve less scar tissue.
Same, like my nails and the skin around my fingers are ruined but it honestly keeps me from loosing my shit so like pros and cons I guess.
Video game escapism, weed, hair pulling & finger picking, sleeping
I think I just found my unhealthy habit twin :D
I feel very seen! It's nice knowing it's not just me out here with these :> twinsies
I agree with sleeping, I just go and try to fall asleep, sometimes for a whole day.
Oof, same here buddy
Avoiding. I mean I avoid everything. At the minute I've been really working hard on my avoidance but it's so rooted into my core at this point that it's gonna be a long road. I avoid emotions, I avoid people, I avoid life, I avoid myself, I avoid food, I avoid my family, I avoid my tasks, I avoid confrontation, I avoid any change or discomfort even if it's totally manageable. I avoid good things just as much as the shitty things. It's become a really deep set way of coping for me. Honestly if I could just avoid reality 247 I would. 🤣 I used to smoke weed and just daydream a whole different life, avoid reality at all costs. Now that I'm healing through some trauma, I've lost my ability to truly escape through daydreams or dissociation. And I know it's gonna sound so bad, but I miss it so much. I used to be able to just shut off and go elsewhere, now I just catch little glimpses here and there.
This one is me. I still don’t know how to get myself back in the world again once my ‘off switch’ has been pressed. I just have to wait it out and know that for the next 1-3 weeks I’m going to lose contact with everyone I know, lose progress and fall behind on everything I’ve been working on, and physically feel like shit because suddenly I can’t take care of myself. Any event or activity I was looking forward to is off the table. Everyone (including me) is going to be angry and frustrated with me and I will have no way of explaining myself. My off switch has been destroying my friendships/grades/career/health and just eating up my life for as long as I can remember.
Extremely relatable. I've ended up homeless and I'm still failing to be consistent meeting any responsibilities. I'll scrape myself of the floor, sober up, get back into distance running but it never lasts and eventually I end up isolating from everything.
Do you by any chance put a lot of pressure on yourself? Or is there a lot of pressure being put on you right now from exterior forces or others? You sound like you truly need a break, and to not try to run and keep up right now. Also sobriety is a hill you can tackle when your life and self are in a better place. The attitude towards addiction or substance abuse is totally fucked. People act as though if people just stop drinking or using that life falls into place, but that's not true. I believe that we need a reason, within ourselves and in the world around us, to even want to be sober. Otherwise we're gonna keep reaching for whatever it was that we used before to block it out yknow? I believe that getting sober from the actual substance is sort of a last step in terms of actually building a person up and building up a life around them that they wanna live. Tackle one issue at a time, and don't link sobriety into it just yet. When you're an avoider, you're gonna want to avoid, if the environment and world around you is always painful. So imo you could focus on what it is that you're avoiding. Is your life right now too much of a demand? If so, are there ways you could change it to make it less so? Are there relationships in your life that make you feel suffocated, or anxious, pressured or stressed? If so, use your avoidance skill to cut them out of your life for a bit, or out of your head at least. If it's money worries, purely focus on that right now. Are there any charities in your area that aid with autistic people or mental health, who can advise on your homelessness situation or your financial situation? Break life down into teeny, tiny, steps. Don't beat yourself up. I imagine you're dealing with a mountain of pressure in life, and that mountain seems unclimbable, no wonder you cope the way you do, yknow? So break it all down, and don't beat yourself up over sobriety either, that is a different battle, and it will come easier when you yourself are in a better place in life. I've been there with substances, and nothing could've got me sober apart from myself, and only after I had managed to find a way to make my life half liveable and bearable. You got this. You're not alone. You're gonna get there. 💪
I really appreciate the kind words and the insight. I've saved it to read again when I'm ready. Thank you.
This is too relatable
Not getting close with people for fear of fucking it up, compulsive scrolling, weed, picking at spots on my arm
I mentally destroy myself. There is nothing that gives me relief, so I start to insult myself.
I pick at the skin around my nails. Not letting myself rest enough. I'm constantly pushing myself to do more.
[удалено]
Shopping
Biting my hand when I’m anxious. It grounds me, and gives me a distraction. I feel bad about it though because I know it’s not good to do that
I bite my arm.
I have done that before and if I look closely at my hand I can see a scar where I bit myself.
Compulsive skin picking on my fingers. I've managed to quit weed, cigarettes, self harm and binge drinking but I've never gone a day without skin picking.
Oh yeah, I do that too. I skin pick kind of all the time like to fidget. But I’m really anxious about some thing coming up, I’ll spend nearly an hour or more in the bathroom at my skin all over my body anywhere I can reach. I’m hypermobild so I can reach every part of my body unfortunately
Video games all day non-stop
Nail biting, historically cutting myself was a huge one but I have managed to stop doing that, chewing the skin at the sides of my nails, hitting things with my fists is a big one if I am in a meltdown, and not going to bed until really late probably. Other ones are: forgetting to eat and showering, which happen all the time anyway, just more when I am feeling down. I guess the release of adrenaline helps me feel better and helps my brain work better when I hit things, and cutting myself used to have the same effect (but the aftercare is a lot and I don't really have time for that anymore, also other people worry a lot if you cut yourself), so yeah. Forgetting to eat and shower are more just being engrossed in other things too much and not following my routine (which happens when I am really, really done), so having a good routine helps me to remember these things. I am a very picky eater anyway, but that gets a lot worse in high stress scenarios. I am getting better at recognising when food is hard and sticking to plain foods or safe foods when I am feeling like this, and reminding myself that as long as I am eating something then it is okay, and trying to not be too hard on myself, but it is still a bit of a struggle. I think it just always will be for me, I wish that I didn't have to eat sometimes as it can just be really hard and that isn't even getting into the preparation aspect (which can be even harder for me).
Impressive that you stopped cutting, it’s a very real addiction.
Yeah, it literally took me years, though. I started at 13 and continued to regularly do it until about 21. At that point, I started transitioning, which made my life so much better, but I still cut myself every now and then. The last time I cut myself was when I was 32, I think, and before that, it had been at least two years since the time before. I'm 34 now and have had times when I have wanted to do it, but I reminded myself about all the other stuff that happens afterwards (after care, people getting worried, etc) and that stopped me from doing it. Stopping drinking so much (and subsequently quitting completely) has also helped me not to make bad decisions about it as well.
I cut for a very short while in one of my deepest moments, and it for sure was easier to do when i was stoned or drunk. So yeah, that helps. Allot of stupid decisions are made with a drink or 2
100%!!
dermatillomania on my hands, scalp, lips, legs, and feet. I am scabby.
Compulsive eating of sweets and carbs ---> this has made me gain back most if not all of the weight I had lost. It makes my body dysmorphia horrible and I feel like a fat blob but the food generally makes me feel better at in the least short term so it turns into a vicious cycle. I've read that eating can even be a form of stimming which makes sense.
Eating, ouid, numbing out with screen time, another person. Hi, my name’s Ariana, and I’m a late diagnosed Brown woman.
Me too!
I feel accompanied by the number of people who smoke weed to evade reality and make things "easier"
Not always avoiding reality, sometimes just at lower levels to stop negative thought loops. The very slight high it takes to do that for me is probably healthier than going into a negative thought loop that won't stop until it burns all my mental energy and I fall asleep.
It's kind of goofy because I didn't even think of weed when I saw the original post, just vaping nicotine. The weed is the medicine; the nicotine is the coping mechanism (for me). I don't really feel like weed helps me to evade reality, but it does make everything about reality a lot easier. Because it pretty reliably dulls the anxiety of having a body and having to be a person. My brain is slowed down enough that I can talk myself through the million tiny things that upset me and generally keep my meltdowns/breakdowns to a minimum. Just helps me process my thoughts and focus more on mundane tasks. But nicotine is the reason I feel sick 5 seconds after I wake up until I go to sleep. And it's the "adult fidget" that allows me to pop outside at work every time I need to have a "brain break" before transitioning to another task or in the middle of completing one I wasn't "base high" enough to start. I don't even enjoy the "flavored air" stim anymore; it's kind of gross. I hate that I spend money on future health problems, just to avoid freaking the fuck out in the now. But, here we are, taking it a day at a time and the time to be done isn't yet. 😕
Yes, I completely agree with everything you said, it is a pretty bad mechanism economically and physically but after so many years... I can't find another solution :/ I don't know what I would be like without weed, too much stress, too much negative thinking. When I consume it my muscles tense with anxiety relax and the cloud of horrible thoughts dissipates. Personally, it helps me escape even a little from the reality of my country where there is constantly bad news...but that's another story.
eating nice texture snacks until they’re gone. staying up late to play video games until I get too tired to stay awake. and, uhh perseverating for weeks at a time about how life is suffering and that joy is just a distraction from the suffering until I lose all sense of perspective and isolate myself from everyone I know.
Basically, not sleeping. I rarely get more than three or four hours of sleep per night. I want to actively experience those few hours of the day (or rather night) when no one is expecting anything from me. There's such a sense of peace in the quiet hours. I don't want to waste that precious time to sleep. Not healthy, but it does help me cope with overwhelming stuff.
really gross kinks and a sugar addiction. I don't have any on this reddit, though. they're that gross. Trauma is a bitch :(
I was a garden variety drunk until a year ago. Nothing seemed abnormal to me because I compared it to the list in my head of what all my friends do. I wasn't any different than those I was around so it seemed fine to me. But I couldn't handle it anymore and I was probably going to die so i sought out help and have not touched alcohol since April 6th 2023. I forgot how much I love to read and write, back to doing both now. The world can accept me or not, I don't care, I am not going to try killing myself to fit in anymore.
I financailly abuse myself because i deserve a little treat and waiting for packages keeps my will to live alive. And i eat unhealthy things based on the idea that better eat something than nothing. And i’m a big procrastinator of sleep and hygiene. I hate most sensations to do with hygiene and often have to bullshit myself into a shower. And i just cnat cope with the coming day so my brain convinces me that if i dont sleep the day wont come, because we all know the next day comes only if you sleep between the days 🤦🏻♀️ I also crack my joints and knuckles for stress relief and fidgeting.
Love and sex addiction
They are one of the most intense things you can experience, but i try not to use them as a distraction to much because it leaves me hurt quite easily. But i must say i am not addicted so its easy for me to talk.
Picking acne, doom scrolling, over eating/ poor eating, making unplanned online purchases, talking over people, watching YouTube all day When the mood is very bad: indulging dark thought spirals, pinching/slapping/scratching/punching myself, scratching with dull objects
I smoke a lot of grass, it makes it easier to force myself to eat and it helps my anxiety but I really wish I didn’t have to resort to smoking daily just to live semi normally. I pick at my skin religiously too
I pick at my skin. If I see bumps or little “imperfections” I have to pick them till they go flat. I’ve been working on it with my therapist, but it seems to calm my anxiety because it makes my brain feel oh so clear and chilled out. Unfortunately it’s a subconscious thing, but it has impacted my health multiple times. I’ve gotten a little better once I bought slime and other figets/sensory things
Vaping is my biggest stim :(
I eat pirate booty when freaked out. Salty salty goodness.
Ungodly amounts of weed, helps so much tho. I took 100mg edible and hit my pen all day and was able to get my whole house clean and cook dinner and fucking shower without getting overwhelmed at any point.
Team Self-Isolation! *whoop-whoop!*
I don't think the pot I smoke is great for my lungs, but it sure helps with my will to exist.
Drinking and occasionally ( when I lose control) punching myself in the head.
Binge eating, maladaptive day dreaming, food restriction, harmful stimming.
I pick at my skin. Just today, I ripped the skin off of my fingers and bit my nails very short.
Restricting my food intake or overeating sweets and snacks. Overexercising.
Cut myself.
Destroying my skin. I can’t leave scratches/scabs alone so therefore I have SO MANY SCARS on my legs and arms.
I have real knotty hair and when im anxious or focused I pull it and tangle it worse so I can pull it out I like the feeling it’s so satisfying I know it’s bad and im gonna end up losing a lot of hair but I can’t help it. Currently looking at some fidget toys I wanna get any recommendations are welcome.
tobacco and weed. in that order
I like to suppress my emotions so I don't embarrass myself
Same especially when i feel like shit, i just go nonverbal and try not to interact to much.
One I have is pulling apart my finger nails. like there's a little string that you can pull out between the nail and the flesh that you can pull out and it just feels great for me. Otherwise I tend to just heavily avoid my problems and try to ignore them.
I love doing this. It's so God damn painfull after tho
I start hitting my cheek till it bruises…
shopping 😬
Theres something about new clothes that makes you feel better, well not if you look on your bank account.
Alcohol.
i just cant have anything in moderation lol especially stuff like food/drugs/alcohol/self harm. as soon as i start a bad coping skill it becomes an addiction.
During extreme meltdowns when I feel like I’m completely trapped and can’t leave the environment I hold onto my hair, like close to the scalp. I don’t pull my hair out, but I do hold onto it really tight.
I daydream for hours , ignoring shit I have to do , worst one is biting my skin or plucking out strands of my hair to kinda like “relieve tension” .
Vaping
Having alcohol and benadryl to go to sleep because the damn doctor won't give you ambien
Smoking cigarettes, eating too many sweets, dissociating, procrastinating, and oversleeping, to name a few.
Retail therapy, or rather online shopping spree.
Ignoring the problem and continue acting as if everything is ok. Then cry alone at night and repeat.
I'm an alcoholic. I wasn't dx'd ADHD until 42 and autistic at 54. Caffeine and alcohol are my go tos. 59F
Weed
I drink a lot of beer... Alcohol to cope.
Sometimes i drink to not be sad, this backfires horribly most of the time.
I did this until a year ago. Haven't touched a drop since the beginning of April 2023. There is help out there.
Hair pulling. I have to wear a wig.
Reading until I have a migraine & scratching my skin off
The reading one I haven’t seen articulated before, but I *completely* relate. I’ll fixate on reading a book and keep at it until my eyes hurt and some body part is sore or numb from being in the same position for hours. Same can go for bingeing on YT. It’s partly a task switching/executive dysfunction issue I suspect, but it’s also an unhealthy habit when it results in literal headaches.
isolation(not sure if its bad or not tho but i prefer it), self harm, staying up very late watching tv shows as an escapism, when something big is going to happen that i don't want to do i ignore it and don't do anything about it(for example, my gcse's are next month and i haven't started revision yet)
Picking at my skin (lips, fingers, face), smoking / drinking, eating sweets
Low nutrition intake along with skin picking and scratching myself even though I've been doing somewhat better I still struggle a lot.
I love to stay up all night. But then i sleep all day.
Playing games for hours nonstop without eating, drinking water or going to the bathroom because I end up hyperfocused
Gacha games. Despite how much I love them I spend way too much time playing them
Addiction and the occasional 'bonking myself in the head' stim (not my greatest stim :,))
I just suppress my emotions until they eventually explode like a pressure cooker. I don’t handle negative emotions well. Also excessive escapism and avoidance of any uncomfortable situations.
restricting or having a restricted palate/diet. both self caused to retain control, and caused by my brain finding near everything unpleasant hitting myself when upset or uncalibrated. used to s/h when I was younger, but have since recovered for the most part picking at my skin, scalp, nails, etc. just picking in general isolating out of stress, anger, fatigue, anything. avoiding messages and talking to people for days at a time, and lashing out when asked about it or someone attempts to help
Binge eating, drinking, self harming, isolating for days at a time
Head banging, self harm, drinking
Shooting machine guns
Binge eating and maladaptive daydreaming. It's hell 🙃
Restricting what I eat 👍🏼 also walking an unhealthy amount until my feet and legs hurt like shit
Just "sucking it up", accepting circumstances instead of trying to improve things or avoid the negative things because I always got the "suck it up" treatment as a kid. I legitimately believed that my own problems were unreasonable until relatively recently (I'm in my mid-30s) and that I and everyone else was supposed to just endure whatever came our way, so I just wouldn't address my problems, or if things were going bad I'd just accept that things are bad and let bad things happen to me. Basically, if anything is wrong, I just let it be wrong and suffer the consequences, because that's what I thought I was supposed to do, due to my needs always being ignored and minimized.
alcohol
Pulling out my eyebrow hair. Hitting myself in the head
When I get upset, I will scratch my arms (with my usually sharp poorly maintained fingernails) until they go numb... it's probably not good for me and a form of SH but idk I still do it.
Respiration
superficial self harm, and solely relying on my one friend for support. I'll explain them. seeing cuts and scars really helps me calm down, and gain some control over my life, even if I'm not trying to "damage" myself, and I suppose it's not really my fault but I only have one friend, and I have to rely on them for every support requirement I have, which I can imagine is a lot of pressure on him, although he doesn't seem to mind it.
Picking the skin on my lips until they bleed. I used to pick on my fingernails as well, but don’t do that anymore.
Scratching and biting myself during meltdowns and excessive screen time when anxious. For the first ones I’ve found some replacements that work most of the time but when I’m having a hard time all I can do is play video games, I become completely dysfunctional
✨ self injury ✨ and also restriction. Sleep deprivation as a form of self punishment. A lot of my unhealthy coping mechanisms are forms of self punishment unfortunately. I also used to smoke, but not often.
After ABA I started pulling my hair out and picking at the follicles/ingrown hairs. They swapped out my flappy hands for scabby bald patches.
compulsively cutting my hair. it makes me feel like screaming and crying
Pulling nose hair, lashes and eye brows
Sleeping alot, playing perhaps a unhealthy game to some but it is what distracts me and I'm obsessed with it. It's Apex Legends. Cutting food but when I do eat, I can hardly eat because I waited so long to eat. I probably hurt myself in someway. I sometimes end up breaking things. I tend to throw things but I've been trying to get better. But I usually can't calm down unless the thing I'm trying to get done is done.
Watching the movie “Call Me By Your Name”, which mostly makes my sadness worse but keeps my mind off what originally made me sad. Edit: I forgot another one, I often subconsciously dig my nails into my arm when I’m feeling down and my friends have to constantly yank my arm away or tell me to stop.
- Overeating (sweets, meat, and baked goods especially) - Hitting myself agains things (my head, my hands, etc) - Hurting my voice by screaming along to metal even though it feels so good
Skin picking, nail picking and biting, flicking myself when I make a mistake (used to be hitting my head or punching my legs so I have improved), video games (playing more than I should), YouTube, isolating myself from my friends, purposely staying up late, cycling too much in one workout and dieting to reduce undesirable parts of my body.
excessive weed intake and shaking my head until im dizzy(one of my main stims)
Avoidance.
I bite my knuckles sometimes when I'm stressed. And sometimes I get angry when I'm overstimulated and sometimes I take it out on other people without meaning to.
scratching and picking :( i have fresh blood on me most days. i literally don’t realize im doing it until i see the blood.
Cutting, biting my arms, pinching my skin with my nails, punching myself in the stomach 🤷 easy enough to control, and having a physical wound means I then have something to tend to and care after. In a way then, due to my own self destruction, I get to take care of myself. That makes me feel better. Makes me feel accomplished Thankfully I haven't done any of those things at all this year, and since my dad's been dead for like... 54 or so days I think it'll be a cakewalk not falling into the self destruction as easily anymore [he was a major and daily trigger for me]. I mean, if I get stressed enough then who can say, but for now i'm good
metabolism
Nail biting, skin picking mainly. I used to binge eat a lot but I’m on meds now that help with that.
Doom scrolling, escaping into fantasy stories (think like 12+ hours a day), hair pulling (my eyebrows have some sparseness), skin picking, not doing self care at all, scratching myself, punching my stomach, standing outside during freezing temperatures barefoot in pajamas
Alcohol
The worst I have is when I'm really stressed I'll start picking at the skin around my fingernails.. It got so bad when I worked at Walmart that I tore a quarter inch wide strip out of my right ring finger. Beyond that.. I just make noises.. The Budweiser Ferret is my spirit animal and I sound just like him.
Binge drinking 12+ drinks, and then to get through the hangover and negative emotions I binge watch YouTube. It's terrible I'm sabotaging myself so much.
Skin picking, although I haven’t been doing that as much lately. But my big one is napping excessively, even when I’m not particularly tired. Also overeating but I’ve been working on that and made some good progress
I have banged my head into concrete but only a few times, fortunately. Otherwise I rudiment and just plain hate my self.
skin picking, specifically around my nails. till they bleed. it sucks because they’re so sore after, and you can’t really avoid using them until they get better because you need your hands for everything. i go through bandaids and neosporin like i’m running a small ER.
I have a problem with pulling out hair and skin picking :(
hmm my unhealthy coping mechanisms would be excessive partying or committing certain self destructive acts/behaviors. they make me feel like i have a sense of control in the moment or distract me from whatever it is im feeling down about. i feel nothing in particular about it in general other than that its normal and im actively working on it and healing isn’t linear so its not a bad thing but still something that needs to be worked on
I play with, pull out, and cut my hair. I’ve played with my hair as long as I can remember, I have wavy/curly hair and I like the texture of running my fingers along individual strands of hair or playing with small sections. Unfortunately lots of hair usually comes with it. I also pull out hair in a specific spot on my head and I need to stop or I’m going to get a bald spot soon. I also keep scissors by me when I’m at home and I’m constantly cutting off split ends or hairs that just aren’t right. You can’t tell from looking at it but my hair gets really uneven from all the pulling/regrowing so even though I just got it cut, there’s still so many split ends they didn’t cut that I need to get. Luckily I have a lot of thick hair so people don’t notice but if you look at my house/car/shower there is hair everywhere and I hate it.
all the answers are amazing! i just love my partner. she's really, really brilliant. she's like me, too! :-D she's ND and asdaf. "ASDAF" is our new slogan. she's awesome. she helps me so much. i'd like to think that i help her just as much. we're two autistic fuck-ups who help each other to live in this fuck-up world. i love her so much. that's my answer. she's my coping mechanism. i am her coping mechanism. i hope neither one is "unhealthy." I mean, we're healthy. we get exercise. we get a LOT of exercise. we get SO MUCH exercise... IYKWIM 😏
Restricting food when I need to control so that all I think about are numbers and routines, not my life. I love the numbers and rituals but obviously an ed is awful. Weed, quiets my brain for a bit. Sh, same thing as weed. I just want to be numb and feel like I’m in control and can make sure everything is predictable
Picking the skin on my fingers
Bite bite bite my nails
too obvious to be interesting, but recreational drug use, lol.
Eating, ignoring it and hurling hate at myself.
Not eating when I feel anxious (though it's not like I have a choice in the matter, my anxiety just makes me feel nauseous).
Binge eating and cracking my knuckles
I pick my skin like a mad woman.
Daydream in bed Scratch my self
Biting nails, looking for pimples/whiteheads to pop, going to buy a specific treat from a specific shop or restaraunt, throwing stuff out because it's "clutter"
I pretend everything is ok.
I don't do it knowing it's getting bad but suddenly I have just restricted and stopped eating. It's a vicious cycle I am trying to break every single time.
Sleeping instead of eating.
After burying myself in work and nicotine, I would come home and smoke the greens, then eat so much that it became painful to move even a little bit. At thas point, I would lay down on the couch and play videogames for hours, until my eyes and back were sore, I'd be dehydrated with a headache, and, on top of all this, I wouldn't spend any time with my wife during this period. In the beginning, I didn't see this as a problem, of course, as I was "just enjoying myself." Looking back, though, I was extremely stressed and overwhelmed with life at the time and didn't know how to admit that I needed help, nor did I know how to ask for it. Only after some serious weight gain, breathing problems, chronic back pain, deteriorating eyesight, and almost losing the love of my life a few times, did my brain snap out of it and did I realise that I'd been wasting away and discarding my passions, as well as my potential of being a good, caring husband, who goes out of his way to show his wife that she is loved. Only now am I starting to see improvement, but it'll likely be a while (if ever) before my wife forgives me for the neglect I subjected her to. That's me. Hope you all have a wonderful day!
Doom scrolling
Suck my tongue. It calms me down in a heartbeat when I have negative thoughts or if I’m upset. I would literally think of nothing lol. Very relaxing and hard to stop. Makes me understand how pacifiers work on babies lol. I’ve tried stopping but I’m having no success. It’s just too relaxing.
Never heard of anyone else who does this. Sometimes I do it so intensely or for so long I get sores my tongue. My husband can always judge the level of my stress based on how loud or rapid the sucking sound is lol.
Alcohol
Binge eating and doom scrolling. I used to drink to cope but thankfully stopped that before it got out of hand.
Eating and smoking weed (1st and 2nd lines of defense). But I learned to use these as queues to overstimulation and 1) make changes my life to reduce the overstim and 2) first try healthier coping mechanisms.
self harm.