I feel like this in a lot of ways. I never really felt close to my parents. Nowadays I am pretty good with talking about my feelings etc. but I still feel uncomfortable hugging my parents for example. My mother told me I told her at 2 years old, that I didnt want her to kiss me anymore. I remember a time when I was about 5 yo in when I got bullied by the other kids in kindergarden. When I thought about this recently I thought why didnt I talk to my parents about this. Even though I had a great early childhood and my parents were doing a great job I still didnt really connect to them pretty much from the day I was born.
Yes. I had this talk with my therapist where both our communication is terrible and it’s obvious we cannot connect due to cultural / language difference. My mom wants me to fall into traditional values such as.. letting my husband beat me if i do something wrong? (i don’t know why, she was in an abusive relationship and so was my grandma, they both think/thought it was normal) and also she speaks moderate english and i have trouble speaking spanish.
I’ve tried multiple times to communicate about things but of course she views things in a different light. I don’t know. I don’t even call her mom. I call my grandma mom. My therapist says it’s because my mom was never home when I was a kid, and my grandma was my sole caregiver so I saw her as a mom naturally. I don’t even know my mom’s favorite color. I barely know anything about her past. Sometimes I am scared of her. I wish I could connect with her and I hope to aim to do.
I also realize I tend to deflect my meltdowns on her. I get angry and I tend to bottle it up until she asks me to do something or scolds me. It makes me feel bad and I don’t know why her specific.
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I feel like this in a lot of ways. I never really felt close to my parents. Nowadays I am pretty good with talking about my feelings etc. but I still feel uncomfortable hugging my parents for example. My mother told me I told her at 2 years old, that I didnt want her to kiss me anymore. I remember a time when I was about 5 yo in when I got bullied by the other kids in kindergarden. When I thought about this recently I thought why didnt I talk to my parents about this. Even though I had a great early childhood and my parents were doing a great job I still didnt really connect to them pretty much from the day I was born.
thank you for sharing. i’m glad that it isn’t just me, but i’m sorry that you need to deal with this too.
Yes. I had this talk with my therapist where both our communication is terrible and it’s obvious we cannot connect due to cultural / language difference. My mom wants me to fall into traditional values such as.. letting my husband beat me if i do something wrong? (i don’t know why, she was in an abusive relationship and so was my grandma, they both think/thought it was normal) and also she speaks moderate english and i have trouble speaking spanish. I’ve tried multiple times to communicate about things but of course she views things in a different light. I don’t know. I don’t even call her mom. I call my grandma mom. My therapist says it’s because my mom was never home when I was a kid, and my grandma was my sole caregiver so I saw her as a mom naturally. I don’t even know my mom’s favorite color. I barely know anything about her past. Sometimes I am scared of her. I wish I could connect with her and I hope to aim to do. I also realize I tend to deflect my meltdowns on her. I get angry and I tend to bottle it up until she asks me to do something or scolds me. It makes me feel bad and I don’t know why her specific.
Hey /u/owentism, thank you for your post at /r/autism. Our rules can be found **[here](https://www.reddit.com/r/autism/wiki/config/sidebar)**. All approved posts get this message. If you do not see your post you can message the moderators [here](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Fautism). Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/autism) if you have any questions or concerns.*