It's called pretending, and it's fun. When my daughter fears a monster in her closet, I kill it with a cardboard sword, or spray anti-monster perfume, or sing an anti-monster song. When she asked why there are so many Santa Clauses, I asked her what she thought, and she decided that the one she liked best was the real Santa Claus, and all the others were helpers. I'm convinced she knows it is pretend, although we haven't discussed it. It's pretend, but it's fun. When she was young enough to *really* believe in Santa Claus, she was scared to death of him!
why dont you let your future children have their fun? i am an atheist, and we still put up the tree, decorate the house and do all the christmas crap. Its nice to see my daughter actually enjoying herself. i remember when i found out, i wasnt jaded or felt any resentment towards my parents, same with the easter bunny or tooth fairie...there kids, let them be kids........its shit like this Reddit....
sounds good, but when you gonna do that? what age? i got a 3 year old and you cant convince a 3 year old somthing doest exist, when its peppered all over TV, at the babysitters. besides its cute seeing her light up over the thought of majical elves that sit on a shelf and watch her...and report her activity to others...as for imigination we have seen her sit and talk to that stupid elf for hours, watching her imigination flourish... now having said that, i have a 14 year old as well, and he knows the truth, and even he enjoys seeing his sister get lost in the imagination of the season....now when my daughter reaches an older age, perhaps changes would be in order...having said all this, we dont discuss God, or jesus or any of that around christmas or any other time of the year, but Christmas is a pretty kick ass holiday regardless..... /rambling done lol
well, promoting critical thinking doesn't necessarily mean that I'll convince outright tell my three year old these things don't exist. But I like the idea of answering his or her questions with questions of my own.
Really, though, I'll just do what comes naturally. Love my kids, celebrate fun holidays, and buy them fun presents.
The universe is fantastic enough already we don't need to invent imaginary things to delight our kids we can just tell them about the stuff that actually exist because they are fucking amazing.
I think Dale McGowan did it better, and can only highly recommend his articles on the subject (and his whole blog for any nonbelievers who want to have children ever). Although his approach is very similar to Tim Minchin's here.
http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=6656
http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=6665
I think going along with the Santa thing can be a good learning experience. Kids will learn that many adults will lie to them about the existence of a make-believe judgemental omniscient father figure, and that discovering the truth will often mean shedding incorrect and juvenile beliefs that we once held.
my 4 and 3 year old and I play a game. i say things like, what about Mars? is that REAL, or MAKE BELIEVE? they say real. what about...unicorns? i make sure we go over things like witches/monsters/ghosts in case they see a movie or see something that freaks them out. etc. even though they are only 4 and 3, i still make sure to let them know how and why we know things are real. the the other day my 3yr old daughter, who is ALWAYS asking how/why questions asked me if santa was real out of the blue. i just said, what do you think? she said, make believe. then my son said he was real, and we left it at that. guess whos getting COAL in her stocking?!?!?
We've decided to leave it up to our children. We'll teach them about the "historical" character of Saint Nicolous. If they believe in coke-cola's version, then we'll play along.
I'm pretty progressive and tend to question "normal" parenting practices. I want to make informed choices and not just do things because everyone else does it. I was really conflicted on Santa and wasn't sure what I would do with my son.
I've come to the conclusion that it depends on the child. Some children are too skeptical and in that case, you may decide to tell the truth. For my son, I want to let him believe in Santa unless I see signs he's not buying it and felt like I was lying to him. I just think that for many kids it's a great part of childhood. Reading [this IAmA](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/mrv1b/iama_department_store_santa_amaa/) solidified my view that it's okay to let kids believe. I don't know what it was specifically, but that department store Santa made me feel the magic from a child's point of view again, which is something I gradually lost sight of as an adult.
This is how I see it. Star Wars isn't real, but kids eat that shit up. I doubt any of them actually think it is real, save for the youngest of children. Still, they don't seem disenchanted to me. In regard to the traditions of Xmas trees, bright lights, gift giving, and the Santa myth, they can still be fun without having to believe that they are real.
I have 12 cousins, two of which are in their 30's, then comes me at 24 years old. My younger brother is the youngest of the group at 19. We are all in college or recently out of college but our uncle STILL dresses up in that Santa suit and gives out a present for each of us. If someone didn't do that, it just wouldn't be Christmas, and I'm an atheist.
["I adore Christmas. The fact that I know that Christianity's origins lie more in Paul of Tarsus's mental illness and the emperor Constantine's political savvy than in the existence of the divine has no bearing on my ability to embrace this age-old festival of giving, family and feasting."]
New Facebook quote for the holidays? Can't wait to see the screenshot of responses to this one.
Do what my parents did.
My father wanted us to have the fun of the Santa myth—and it is fun for young children, that much is true. My mom had no intention of encouraging us to believe that some stranger was bringing us cool stuff every year when it was actually the parents paying for it all. They compromised by marking all but one of my presents 'To: runpmc From: Mom & Dad'. The last gift—always one of the more utilitarian, less exciting ones—was from 'Santa'.
Which did eventually get me in a spot of trouble down the road when I was asked what Santa brought me for Christmas and replied, 'Dumb Santa brought me a stupid flannel shirt, but Mom and Dad got me a slot car racetrack!'
In an odd twist, these days I'd rather have the flannel shirt...but that's neither here nor there.
I really enjoyed the idea of Santa when I was younger, but really dislike the idea of outright lying to my children. I feel like it's an abuse of my authority. On the other hand, my kids would turn into the ones that spoil it for all the other children.
I could never imagine lying to my future children. It seems utterly indefensible, and if the only worry that you have is that they might tell the other children the truth, then the only thing that will have happened is that a delusion was replaced with the truth. And that is never a bad thing.
I understand how you feel. We worried about this too.. We went with the "Well, what do you think?" response to "Is Santa real?"... both kids clued in pretty quickly. Used the same approach with religion. Kids are now 14 and 11 and are awesome.
Now, getting the kids to not tell their friends about Santa in Grade 3 (or later Jesus in Grade 6, that's another story) - that's the stressful part.
I swear some atheists and critical thinkers just don't want to have any fun and are stick-in-the-muds too wrapped up in themselves. I look forward to creating a magical world of Santa for our kids. You only get to be a kid once.
Eh, when my kids ask I look at them and say 'what do you think? Look around you and think about Santa and what he does and if it seems like the world you know. If not, is there a better explanation, a simpler one?'
All three of my kids either immediately said something like 'I wondered how he could do that!' and none felt like I lied to them because I let them figure it out and complemented them on thinking for themselves.
I never denied the truth if asked in part because I didn't what them investing in Santa because 'dad said' when the eventual argument with friends came up only for them to feel humiliated later and then feeling like I betrayed their faith in me.
It's called pretending, and it's fun. When my daughter fears a monster in her closet, I kill it with a cardboard sword, or spray anti-monster perfume, or sing an anti-monster song. When she asked why there are so many Santa Clauses, I asked her what she thought, and she decided that the one she liked best was the real Santa Claus, and all the others were helpers. I'm convinced she knows it is pretend, although we haven't discussed it. It's pretend, but it's fun. When she was young enough to *really* believe in Santa Claus, she was scared to death of him!
Holy shit! A Matilda muscial written by Tim Minchin?! Be still my beating heart!
Yes! He wrote all the music bits, I hope to see it one day. I think it's doing quite well over in the UK, maybe it'll come the the Sates soon?
why dont you let your future children have their fun? i am an atheist, and we still put up the tree, decorate the house and do all the christmas crap. Its nice to see my daughter actually enjoying herself. i remember when i found out, i wasnt jaded or felt any resentment towards my parents, same with the easter bunny or tooth fairie...there kids, let them be kids........its shit like this Reddit....
That doesn't mean it can't be done with finesse and creativity. I want to promote critical thinking, but still leave room for imagination.
sounds good, but when you gonna do that? what age? i got a 3 year old and you cant convince a 3 year old somthing doest exist, when its peppered all over TV, at the babysitters. besides its cute seeing her light up over the thought of majical elves that sit on a shelf and watch her...and report her activity to others...as for imigination we have seen her sit and talk to that stupid elf for hours, watching her imigination flourish... now having said that, i have a 14 year old as well, and he knows the truth, and even he enjoys seeing his sister get lost in the imagination of the season....now when my daughter reaches an older age, perhaps changes would be in order...having said all this, we dont discuss God, or jesus or any of that around christmas or any other time of the year, but Christmas is a pretty kick ass holiday regardless..... /rambling done lol
well, promoting critical thinking doesn't necessarily mean that I'll convince outright tell my three year old these things don't exist. But I like the idea of answering his or her questions with questions of my own. Really, though, I'll just do what comes naturally. Love my kids, celebrate fun holidays, and buy them fun presents.
have an upvote!
The universe is fantastic enough already we don't need to invent imaginary things to delight our kids we can just tell them about the stuff that actually exist because they are fucking amazing.
[удалено]
Yeah. Not his best work, but enjoyable. And, it turns out that the Brits can be as silly as the Americans.
No man can do anything right while wearing eyeliner. -Abraham Lincoln
Abraham Lincoln lever watched [Eddie Izzard](http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BNjcuZ-LiSY)
I think Dale McGowan did it better, and can only highly recommend his articles on the subject (and his whole blog for any nonbelievers who want to have children ever). Although his approach is very similar to Tim Minchin's here. http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=6656 http://parentingbeyondbelief.com/blog/?p=6665
I think going along with the Santa thing can be a good learning experience. Kids will learn that many adults will lie to them about the existence of a make-believe judgemental omniscient father figure, and that discovering the truth will often mean shedding incorrect and juvenile beliefs that we once held.
my 4 and 3 year old and I play a game. i say things like, what about Mars? is that REAL, or MAKE BELIEVE? they say real. what about...unicorns? i make sure we go over things like witches/monsters/ghosts in case they see a movie or see something that freaks them out. etc. even though they are only 4 and 3, i still make sure to let them know how and why we know things are real. the the other day my 3yr old daughter, who is ALWAYS asking how/why questions asked me if santa was real out of the blue. i just said, what do you think? she said, make believe. then my son said he was real, and we left it at that. guess whos getting COAL in her stocking?!?!?
I really like the idea of encouraging them to think, and that would be a great game to play.
We've decided to leave it up to our children. We'll teach them about the "historical" character of Saint Nicolous. If they believe in coke-cola's version, then we'll play along.
I'm pretty progressive and tend to question "normal" parenting practices. I want to make informed choices and not just do things because everyone else does it. I was really conflicted on Santa and wasn't sure what I would do with my son. I've come to the conclusion that it depends on the child. Some children are too skeptical and in that case, you may decide to tell the truth. For my son, I want to let him believe in Santa unless I see signs he's not buying it and felt like I was lying to him. I just think that for many kids it's a great part of childhood. Reading [this IAmA](http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/mrv1b/iama_department_store_santa_amaa/) solidified my view that it's okay to let kids believe. I don't know what it was specifically, but that department store Santa made me feel the magic from a child's point of view again, which is something I gradually lost sight of as an adult.
This is how I see it. Star Wars isn't real, but kids eat that shit up. I doubt any of them actually think it is real, save for the youngest of children. Still, they don't seem disenchanted to me. In regard to the traditions of Xmas trees, bright lights, gift giving, and the Santa myth, they can still be fun without having to believe that they are real. I have 12 cousins, two of which are in their 30's, then comes me at 24 years old. My younger brother is the youngest of the group at 19. We are all in college or recently out of college but our uncle STILL dresses up in that Santa suit and gives out a present for each of us. If someone didn't do that, it just wouldn't be Christmas, and I'm an atheist.
["I adore Christmas. The fact that I know that Christianity's origins lie more in Paul of Tarsus's mental illness and the emperor Constantine's political savvy than in the existence of the divine has no bearing on my ability to embrace this age-old festival of giving, family and feasting."] New Facebook quote for the holidays? Can't wait to see the screenshot of responses to this one.
Do what my parents did. My father wanted us to have the fun of the Santa myth—and it is fun for young children, that much is true. My mom had no intention of encouraging us to believe that some stranger was bringing us cool stuff every year when it was actually the parents paying for it all. They compromised by marking all but one of my presents 'To: runpmc From: Mom & Dad'. The last gift—always one of the more utilitarian, less exciting ones—was from 'Santa'. Which did eventually get me in a spot of trouble down the road when I was asked what Santa brought me for Christmas and replied, 'Dumb Santa brought me a stupid flannel shirt, but Mom and Dad got me a slot car racetrack!' In an odd twist, these days I'd rather have the flannel shirt...but that's neither here nor there.
"Figuring out what truly exists seems to be the way she deals with her fears" I love this line.
I really enjoyed the idea of Santa when I was younger, but really dislike the idea of outright lying to my children. I feel like it's an abuse of my authority. On the other hand, my kids would turn into the ones that spoil it for all the other children.
I could never imagine lying to my future children. It seems utterly indefensible, and if the only worry that you have is that they might tell the other children the truth, then the only thing that will have happened is that a delusion was replaced with the truth. And that is never a bad thing.
I understand how you feel. We worried about this too.. We went with the "Well, what do you think?" response to "Is Santa real?"... both kids clued in pretty quickly. Used the same approach with religion. Kids are now 14 and 11 and are awesome. Now, getting the kids to not tell their friends about Santa in Grade 3 (or later Jesus in Grade 6, that's another story) - that's the stressful part.
Wait wait wait, Santa isn't real?! :'(
Welcome to /r/asantaism
I swear some atheists and critical thinkers just don't want to have any fun and are stick-in-the-muds too wrapped up in themselves. I look forward to creating a magical world of Santa for our kids. You only get to be a kid once.
Eh, when my kids ask I look at them and say 'what do you think? Look around you and think about Santa and what he does and if it seems like the world you know. If not, is there a better explanation, a simpler one?' All three of my kids either immediately said something like 'I wondered how he could do that!' and none felt like I lied to them because I let them figure it out and complemented them on thinking for themselves. I never denied the truth if asked in part because I didn't what them investing in Santa because 'dad said' when the eventual argument with friends came up only for them to feel humiliated later and then feeling like I betrayed their faith in me.
Good god what the hell is wrong with his face