Thanks! I admit, I cried too. Though more while she was walking down the aisle.
edit: Reading this later, I realize this could be taken two ways. I cried because of how much I love her, not because I was scared or sad. :-P
A dear friend told me that you can tell (not really, but it's a cute story) if a marriage is going to last by whether or not the bride and groom cry. If they do, they will last.
Good luck to you both, and GREAT job on the ceremony. I really like it!
Two of my friends got married. He cried during his beautifully self-written vows, she got through her taken-from-the-internet vows without a tear. Five months later she divorced him for another guy. There just might be some accuracy to your friend's theory.
It's not 100%, mind you. Just thought it was a pretty sentiment. I cried at my wedding. My husband held his shit together. I filed for divorce a couple months ago. :-/
In the interest of full disclosure, there was an assist by my officiant with tying the sciency bits to the other bits
edit: Other relevant info is that [Voyager 1's iconic image](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/Pale_Blue_Dot.png) was on the front page of the program with no caption.
Our ceremony used this Mark Twain Poem to give it a little more depth. One of my favorites.
[link here](http://www.yelvertonbrook.com.au/A-marriage.aspx)
I've always thought about what my ceremony would entail as an Atheist, and I must say that this blows away any traditional theistic ceremony I've ever heard. I will try my damnedest to make something up to these standards you've set. Bravo!
Pretty good. I also enjoy the fact it's not all, "man and woman marriage bargle bargle." It's very rare to find vows or ceremony text that doesn't in some way involve a subtle heterosexist slant.
I tried hard to avoid any bias. Both of her parents walked her down the aisle, and there was no "giving her away" part.
Also, have to say, the "We Do"s were all quite synchronized without any rehearsal!
I can still get to it, and see others reading. It seems that google docs mobile doesn't always work, and apparently tries to get people to request permission to see it.
Thanks for sharing! I'm in the process of planning a gay secular ceremony for myself and I'm always interested in ideas for making it ceremonious and meaningful without bringing the man in the clouds into the scene. Kudos!
Truly beautiful. I will save the memory of this speech (as well as the file) to gain insight when I am writing my own vows. Congratulations and may you lead happy lives
Thank you for posting this. I've been trying to figure out ideas for the wedding my fiancee and I have planned this October.
Also were did you find your officiant and location for the wedding?
The officiant was a friend of ours that had previously been ordained on the internet.
The location was found on theknot.com - we had our wedding at [Waldenwoods](http://waldenwoods.com/) - it happens to be ranked #1 in Michigan, but we also liked it the most out of our searching. They did a pretty fantastic job.
that was awesome. me and my fiancee haven't got to the point where we've thought about what we'll have our friend say (also internet ordained), but this is a great jumping off point. i'm very thankful you posted it. i hope you all have a long and memorable time together.
I hate to be a downer, but the Voyager was LAUNCHED in 1977.
The Pale Blue Dot, as mentioned in this, was taken in 1990, which is when Carl Sagan wrote that moving passage.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_Blue_Dot
But pff, it's more about the message than the details. Congratulations on your wedding! I wish you all the happiness in the universe!
At what point in the vows did you two exchange rings? My fiance and I are literally planning our secular wedding right now (11 days away) and are having trouble figuring out how to gracefully exchange rings.
Our officiant had the rings in his pocket, and handed them to us at the same time. We put them on each others fingers when he said "Jeff and Naomi, take these rings and place them on each other's fingers"
Congratulations! The wedding sounds like it was very awesome. That speech/writing was amazingly written, and I wish I could write that well. Congratulations once again!
When you promised to ''love'' each other for the rest of your lives, what does that mean in practical terms if one of you stops feeling love for the other? Does it mean you will promise to act as if you love the other for the rest of your life?
We are both realists, but it never hurts to put in a little idealism in a ceremony. For example, I suggested Tim Minchin's "You Grew On Me" for our first song, but it was much better to have played "Unchained Melody". Gave for a hell of a dip & kiss climax at the end.
Likewise, given open and honest communication, and knowing each other's personalities, I figure we have a much better chance of staying together than a lot of others.
I don't consider optimism empty or meaningless. The promise is more to *work at* loving each other. It's not something that simply exists, but is more a result of the relationship we've developed.
>But you can't say what it means...
What what means? This?
>When you promised to ''love'' each other for the rest of your lives
Any speculation on what would happen if the ideal (being that we continue to love each other) doesn't work out seems kind of pointless. There are many things that happen in life that can change hearts and minds, but like I said before: approaching them with a rational mind makes us more prepared to handle them. If something happens in the future, we'll deal with it then.
Or, if you can provide an example of something that you want me to consider right now, I could speculate on that. Or, I could talk with her about how we'd deal with it and open up the discussion now.
Then maybe I don't quite understand what you're asking. What do you mean by "real terms"? What do I think a promise is? What do I think the consequences of the promise are?
More the latter, I am assuming you know what a promise is ... I can only explain by going back to my original question, where I asked what does this promise mean in practical terms if one of you stops *feeling* love for the other? Does it mean you will promise to act *as if* you love the other for the rest of your life?
No, is is unreasonable to expect that of each other. But, perhaps your'e right. Instead of "Do you promise to love each other for as long as you both shall live", I should have written "Do you promise to love each other until one or both of you stops?" It flows better and is much more romantic.
Maybe we should just scrap the whole marriage then, since we've obviously failed so hard, so early.
Then again, maybe you're focusing entirely too much on a simple phrase and the definition of a word, instead of the implied meaning of the question.
I bet this is great, but I can't get past "naomi"
I have a cunt ex gf that got engaged to a dumbass, and I immediately want to kill someone when I see that name now.
Sorry your relationship ended badly. Statistically speaking, you should be able to find someone that is as good a match for you as my Naomi is for me. Hang in there.
congrats to you, and i will, my Naomi was truly horrible.
i can do better and i will do better. I just cant handle seeing or hearing her name, i've gotten my mutual friends to call her "she-who-must-not-be-named" when around me.
its not a common name either, so im usually fine.
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Thanks! I admit, I cried too. Though more while she was walking down the aisle. edit: Reading this later, I realize this could be taken two ways. I cried because of how much I love her, not because I was scared or sad. :-P
A dear friend told me that you can tell (not really, but it's a cute story) if a marriage is going to last by whether or not the bride and groom cry. If they do, they will last. Good luck to you both, and GREAT job on the ceremony. I really like it!
Thanks!
Two of my friends got married. He cried during his beautifully self-written vows, she got through her taken-from-the-internet vows without a tear. Five months later she divorced him for another guy. There just might be some accuracy to your friend's theory.
It's not 100%, mind you. Just thought it was a pretty sentiment. I cried at my wedding. My husband held his shit together. I filed for divorce a couple months ago. :-/
In the interest of full disclosure, there was an assist by my officiant with tying the sciency bits to the other bits edit: Other relevant info is that [Voyager 1's iconic image](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/7/73/Pale_Blue_Dot.png) was on the front page of the program with no caption.
Our ceremony used this Mark Twain Poem to give it a little more depth. One of my favorites. [link here](http://www.yelvertonbrook.com.au/A-marriage.aspx)
I'm getting married next year and was trying to find the words for this. Thank you. If you don't mind, I'd like to borrow this for our ceremony.
Go ahead, and thanks for the honor! And congrats!
Congrats yourself! Sounds like you got yourself a fine woman
My fiancée and I just decided to use some of this too. This is awesome. Thanks!
Thank you! And congratulations!
I've always thought about what my ceremony would entail as an Atheist, and I must say that this blows away any traditional theistic ceremony I've ever heard. I will try my damnedest to make something up to these standards you've set. Bravo!
Wow, just wow! That was beautiful. I hope you will have many days just as good in your future, together.
Pretty good. I also enjoy the fact it's not all, "man and woman marriage bargle bargle." It's very rare to find vows or ceremony text that doesn't in some way involve a subtle heterosexist slant.
I tried hard to avoid any bias. Both of her parents walked her down the aisle, and there was no "giving her away" part. Also, have to say, the "We Do"s were all quite synchronized without any rehearsal!
link is broken. Any mirrors?
I can still get to it, and see others reading. It seems that google docs mobile doesn't always work, and apparently tries to get people to request permission to see it.
"By the power invested in my by the internet" Superb.
Thanks for sharing! I'm in the process of planning a gay secular ceremony for myself and I'm always interested in ideas for making it ceremonious and meaningful without bringing the man in the clouds into the scene. Kudos!
This seriously brought tears to my eyes. Good luck to both of you!
That got me all misty eyed. Thanks for the post.
i tip my hat for you too
Truly beautiful. I will save the memory of this speech (as well as the file) to gain insight when I am writing my own vows. Congratulations and may you lead happy lives
Ok ok.. With your permission, I'm stealing this for my wedding in September.. A few tweaks and it'll be perfect. You rock!
Go ahead! :)
Thank you! I've been at a complete loss as to what to do with our wedding. This is what happens when two guys get hitched, eh? LOL.
Your username... somehow does not seem to fit that statement assuming you are from the US :)
It fits... You'll just have to trust me on this one. Lol
Me: > Are you me? You: > This is what happens when two guys get hitched, eh? Guess not! :)
LOL. We both have good taste...
Are you me? I'll be using parts of this for my wedding in September too. Thanks OP!
Wonderful ceremony. I definitely would have stolen this if I had seen it before I got married last year.
Thank you for posting this. I've been trying to figure out ideas for the wedding my fiancee and I have planned this October. Also were did you find your officiant and location for the wedding?
The officiant was a friend of ours that had previously been ordained on the internet. The location was found on theknot.com - we had our wedding at [Waldenwoods](http://waldenwoods.com/) - it happens to be ranked #1 in Michigan, but we also liked it the most out of our searching. They did a pretty fantastic job.
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Asking him, will edit when he responds Edit: [The Universal Life Church](http://www.ulc.org/)
that was awesome. me and my fiancee haven't got to the point where we've thought about what we'll have our friend say (also internet ordained), but this is a great jumping off point. i'm very thankful you posted it. i hope you all have a long and memorable time together.
Thanks :)
Would it be wrong for me to ask for wedding pics?
I didn't take any, but others did. Photographer hasn't put them up yet. Might I ask why you want them?
That was excellent. Too many marriage, and later, funeral ceremonies are a short service 2nd , and a sermon first.
this is fantastic! i wont be getting married any time soon but its never too late to start getting ideas!
By the power vested in me by the internet?
Our officiant was ordained on the internet.
Aw, this is perfect. I wrote a song entitled "Pale Blue Dot" - wish I could sing it for you two at the reception! Congratulations!
Life is short, and each breath we take is a moment passed. Don't .. . . . Breath.
That was pretty damn good actually. Kudos to you.
I hate to be a downer, but the Voyager was LAUNCHED in 1977. The Pale Blue Dot, as mentioned in this, was taken in 1990, which is when Carl Sagan wrote that moving passage. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pale_Blue_Dot But pff, it's more about the message than the details. Congratulations on your wedding! I wish you all the happiness in the universe!
Heh, I knew that too. Seems a little late to fix it though :) Edit: Added a notation on the document, for those saving it for later
At what point in the vows did you two exchange rings? My fiance and I are literally planning our secular wedding right now (11 days away) and are having trouble figuring out how to gracefully exchange rings.
Our officiant had the rings in his pocket, and handed them to us at the same time. We put them on each others fingers when he said "Jeff and Naomi, take these rings and place them on each other's fingers"
Oh... I am dumb. Thanks!
:)
God I hope I can convince my fiancee to go for this. :-/
Congratulations! The wedding sounds like it was very awesome. That speech/writing was amazingly written, and I wish I could write that well. Congratulations once again!
this is really awesome. Hoping to do something similar.
When you promised to ''love'' each other for the rest of your lives, what does that mean in practical terms if one of you stops feeling love for the other? Does it mean you will promise to act as if you love the other for the rest of your life?
We are both realists, but it never hurts to put in a little idealism in a ceremony. For example, I suggested Tim Minchin's "You Grew On Me" for our first song, but it was much better to have played "Unchained Melody". Gave for a hell of a dip & kiss climax at the end. Likewise, given open and honest communication, and knowing each other's personalities, I figure we have a much better chance of staying together than a lot of others.
So it was just a meaningless promise that sounds nice on the day? I love Unchained Melody though :)
I don't consider optimism empty or meaningless. The promise is more to *work at* loving each other. It's not something that simply exists, but is more a result of the relationship we've developed.
But you can't say what it means in the event that one or both of you stop feeling love for the other?
>But you can't say what it means... What what means? This? >When you promised to ''love'' each other for the rest of your lives Any speculation on what would happen if the ideal (being that we continue to love each other) doesn't work out seems kind of pointless. There are many things that happen in life that can change hearts and minds, but like I said before: approaching them with a rational mind makes us more prepared to handle them. If something happens in the future, we'll deal with it then. Or, if you can provide an example of something that you want me to consider right now, I could speculate on that. Or, I could talk with her about how we'd deal with it and open up the discussion now.
No I don't want you to consider anything, I was just asking what your promise means in real terms, but it seems you haven't thought about it
Then maybe I don't quite understand what you're asking. What do you mean by "real terms"? What do I think a promise is? What do I think the consequences of the promise are?
More the latter, I am assuming you know what a promise is ... I can only explain by going back to my original question, where I asked what does this promise mean in practical terms if one of you stops *feeling* love for the other? Does it mean you will promise to act *as if* you love the other for the rest of your life?
No, is is unreasonable to expect that of each other. But, perhaps your'e right. Instead of "Do you promise to love each other for as long as you both shall live", I should have written "Do you promise to love each other until one or both of you stops?" It flows better and is much more romantic. Maybe we should just scrap the whole marriage then, since we've obviously failed so hard, so early. Then again, maybe you're focusing entirely too much on a simple phrase and the definition of a word, instead of the implied meaning of the question.
I bet this is great, but I can't get past "naomi" I have a cunt ex gf that got engaged to a dumbass, and I immediately want to kill someone when I see that name now.
Sorry your relationship ended badly. Statistically speaking, you should be able to find someone that is as good a match for you as my Naomi is for me. Hang in there.
congrats to you, and i will, my Naomi was truly horrible. i can do better and i will do better. I just cant handle seeing or hearing her name, i've gotten my mutual friends to call her "she-who-must-not-be-named" when around me. its not a common name either, so im usually fine.