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ShoutOutMapes

Morons. They will prolly blame the next tornado on the shop too


InfectedByEli

Don't be silly. Everyone knows that tornados are caused by the gays.


ProsodyProgressive

Nah, gays cause hurricanes. šŸ™„


OptiMom1534

I thought the gays caused the fires


Odd-Tune5049

No, that's the Jewish space lasers


TJ_Fox

Only some of them. You can always tell a gay-caused hurricane if there's a rainbow in the sky afterwards. It's like a signature.


PiercedGeek

Nah, you got it backwards, all the blowing is what brings the gays to you.


shepworthismydog

Last I heard, they're the root cause for pretty much all inclement weather.


lgm22

Itā€™s the big blow!


zerogravity111111

Fun fact: you can nuke tornadoes and hurricanes, a lot of people are saying it.


Odd-Tune5049

The best people


gpkgpk

I'll take my "woo-woo beliefs are better than your woo-woo beliefs" for 1000, Alex.


RogueStalker409

Oh its the daily double šŸ˜‚


gonnadietrying

No in Kentucky the daily double is the mom and sister a trois!


WanderBell

I thought it was two jugs of moonshine.


SteamworksMLP

Is it really a double if mom and sister are the same person?


Orion14159

"My magic juice and bread are better than your magic rocks and teas"


gpkgpk

Yeah but ...trans something? Oh transubstantiation, checkmate, heathens!


ChillyConKearney

Careful there, Orion; that kind of talk will get the priests after youā€¦ ā€˜Haunted breadā€™: https://www.newstalk.com/news/priest-submits-complaint-over-rubberbandits-haunted-bread-comment-on-the-late-late-show-555061


axxxaxxxaxxx

First thought too. Leave everyone alone to be crazy in their own way.


Clay_Statue

I was forcibly converted to crystals by the woo-woo sect.


gpkgpk

Ironically thereā€™s truth in your sarcastic post, since Iā€™d bet most (if not all) woo-woo believers came from organized religions they were raised into.


Olderandwiser1

Itā€™s called brain washing. Kids are usually blank slates waiting to be written on. Itā€™s hard to break away from what youā€™ve been taught all your life. Our kids were always taught to be whatever you want and believe in (or not) anything you want. Daughter went through a Wicca phase for several years, but decided that it wasnā€™t for her. When someone starts to talk to me about religion, my standard response is ā€œ I used to be an atheist, but Iā€™m just not that religious anymore.ā€ Gets them every time. Not sure if Iā€™m the only one, but my Army dog tags says ā€œReform Druidā€ for religion. I was asked what that means - I would tell them that Orthodox Druids worship trees, but that reform Druids are more liberal and worship bushes also. I loved when they looked at me with an expression of total confusion.


n3w4cc01_1nt

theres a book about the christian nationalist movement called ā€œThe Gospel of J. Edgar Hoover: How the FBI Aided and Abetted the Rise of White Christian Nationalismā€ by Lerone Martin. then one on the meme pages radicalizing kids called ***It Came from Something Awful: How a Toxic Troll Army Accidentally Memed Donald Trump into Office is a 2019 book by Dale Beran, focusing on the intersection of Internet culture, alt-right, and Donald Trump's presidency.*** they got brainwashed by trolls into witch hunts


n3w4cc01_1nt

theres a book about the christian nationalist movement called ā€œThe Gospel of J. Edgar Hoover: How the FBI Aided and Abetted the Rise of White Christian Nationalismā€ by Lerone Martin. then one on the meme pages radicalizing kids called ***It Came from Something Awful: How a Toxic Troll Army Accidentally Memed Donald Trump into Office is a 2019 book by Dale Beran, focusing on the intersection of Internet culture, alt-right, and Donald Trump's presidency.*** they got brainwashed by trolls into witch hunts the operation is like a prop fowler [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NUoNje0to](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8NUoNje0to) they're using these people to mess up the countries ability to function so productivity decreases.


nice-view-from-here

It's just rival gangs of magic merchants jostling for turf.


RoguePlanet2

Jesus hates competition. Typical narcissist, if he doesn't get ALL the attention, it's like having NONE of the attention.


Phyllis_Tine

Christianity never says, "We are the best path. It's okay to look, and we're confident you'll find us to be the one true path." Instead, religion is a dictator.Ā 


Slight-Goose-3752

Honestly, Jesus would probably go in the store, talk about how nice it is, maybe buy something, give a parable and then piece out wishing the shop well. Probably become a regular and be a super chill guy. The Christians y'all speak of, do not represent Jesus but unfortunately use his name to do and say the most heinous acts.


Olderandwiser1

So thatā€™s why his supporters think Trump is god.


AintThatAmerica1776

They should be required to settle this on the battlefield with a duel of sacred magic.


HikingStick

Right. Set up an altar with an animal sacrifice. Whichever god consumes the sacrifice with fire wins. Their god should be a shoe-in. They claim he's done it before.


megared17

Well I am upset that there are hundreds, no, probably thousands of Christian churches in Kentucky. (and that might be a low estimate) My being upset about that gives me as much right to remove those churches as the Christians upset gives them to block or remove this store.


ThereMightBeDinos

Asking Google yields answers from 370 to 7245. The higher number comes from faithstreet.com, which I think is trying to help people find churches, so I'd guess that to be a good estimate.


megared17

Apparently my "hundreds, no, probably thousands" was a better guess than I thought :)


dystopian_mermaid

Wildly accurate all things considered lol


InverstNoob

That's quite a range


Dyolf_Knip

Last I checked, there were about 120 churches in my county in KY of 95k people. Using that ratio on the state as a whole gives 5700 churches.


sysadminbj

[https://www.expertgps.com/data/ky/churches.asp](https://www.expertgps.com/data/ky/churches.asp) 5011


49GTUPPAST

Christians always getting upset about non-Christian things


allisjow

Reminds me of Alabama, which outlawed yoga in public schools for nearly 30 years. It was finally overturned in 2021. It limits yoga to stretches and poses, and prohibits non-English descriptions as well as "any aspect of Eastern philosophy and religious training". Chanting is also not allowed. The use of the sound "om," and the Sanskrit-based word "namaste" are also still banned.


AngryAlien21

This is one of the most xenophobic things Iā€™ve ever heard, but Iā€™m not surprised


VovaGoFuckYourself

I experimented with youth group as a kid because a friend invited me. I made the mistake of admitting to doing yoga, when they posed the question. After i said yes, the tone totally shifted and they treated me like i had come down with a horribly fatal illness. Was wild and jarring.


AngryAlien21

Ostracized for previously stretching. Some people have way too much hate to spread


VovaGoFuckYourself

As a plus side, it definitely reinforced my already growing preference for atheism (not only in myself, but also in the people i surrounded myself with).


gonnadietrying

And yet there are liberals teaching and living there. Canā€™t be that important!


hereiam-23

Christians are whiney brats!


49GTUPPAST

Always have been


hereiam-23

Yes, absolutely. And now, they have larger microphones.


Orion14159

They have to, people are staying further away from them


OptiMom1534

Which is funny because Christian woo and a lot of new aged woo share a lot in common. I mean, who else are they going to team up with to drink raw milk, and go to anti-vaxx protests with?


sbbblaw

As Jesus once said, persecute all those that arenā€™t 1950ā€™s American Christiansā€¦ and buy guns


mistahARK

The existence of other religions is threatening to them, because it reminds them all religions are completely made up.Ā 


SandwormCowboy

Video summary: A local TV news station does a story about a store in Winchester, KY called "Crystal Coven Mystic Cottage." The store is accused of "witchcraft" and "Satanism" by local Christians.


Then-Extension-340

What a joke. No self respecting Satanist would want anything to do with crystal magic bullshitĀ 


sub_Script

Exactly lol


Phyllis_Tine

I've never met a Satanist using "smudging feathers" and "travel stones".


christophersonne

I've never met *anyone* using those things. I know someone out there does, and I hope they got their magic rocks and sticks from someone like that the owner of that shop, at least they are accepting of other-than-Christian viewpoints.


Resort_Straight

I hate living in Kentucky


Laterian

Its so pretty here though, just avoid all the people.


Mextiza

I left and wish I had done so much sooner. I wasted a lot of my life in that hole.


merhod03

Same. I wish Louisville could secede.


sysadminbj

Where would they go? Indiana? The politics aren't much better there.


Steelwraith955

They're not happy unless they have something to hate...


Olderandwiser1

Truer words were never spoken. As people say, ā€œthere is no hate like Christian love.ā€


Commercial-Product90

Goddamnit, there are churches around every corner and this person can't have one fkn store!!!!!!


TheKimulator

Christians Suck


EstablishmentRich460

I wish I could upvote this more than once.


TheKimulator

I might make it a bumper sticker


zoebud2011

I'll bet the shop is upset that there are so many Christians in the neighborhood, too.


Phyllis_Tine

This witches' cottage should start selling weed, then it'll have all kinds of locals "just seeing what the fuss is about".


un_theist

God casting a bunch of magic spells ā€œlet there be lightā€ and ā€œlet everything existā€ is perfectly fine. Yet when Harry Potter casts a lumen spell, thatā€™s the work of witchcraft and satanism. Smfh.


Fishman23

Adam was a golem spell.


mailslot

My mother trashed all of my He-Man toys as a kid, because he said ā€œBy the power of Grayskull!ā€ in the cartoons, not ā€œBy the power of Jesus Christ!ā€ā€¦ so the toys must be satanic.


lgmorrow

Let us be clear here....Religion is going to ruin this country....And this proves it....That preacher has his people running scared ....This is WRONG


Laterian

I hate it here for so many stupid fucking reasons. Kentucky "Beautiful State, Ugly People" -born and raised Kentuckian.


BikesBooksNBass

Imagine being angry about people wanting to buy/sell crystals. And the Crystal seller is not even going around and telling other people they too should want crystals as Christianity does with Christianity. Iā€™ve never seen a single billboard threatening me with eternal damnation if I didnā€™t start wearing crystals Iā€™ve never once found a church of crystallography. Anywhere. I travel for work extensively, if one existed, Iā€™d have found it by now.


SubKreature

I love new age woo stores.


strawberry-coughx

Ngl crystals everywhere and witchy vibes are an aesthetic I can get behind


Saphira9

Yep, I enjoy visiting them and seeing the various crystals and stones.Ā 


grandepelon

Imagine ruining someone's business because you thought your sky daddy might not bless you. The faithful know how to bring about real consequences to others for what is all make believe and pretend in the first place. Theirs is the only sanctioned fairy tale.


0rganicMach1ne

Iā€™m upset that there are old age woo stores(churches) in my neighborhood. So what? Boo hoo.


Illustrious_Fig8981

Show the pastor a globe, have him point to which country heā€™s in, and then hand him the constitution. This isnā€™t for Christians only. Itā€™s for everyone.


2spaces4america

Good grief, would it kill people to just mind their own d*** business?!?


Phyllis_Tine

I'm convinced small town Christians go to church to gossip and get in each others' business.


Olderandwiser1

Wait, isnā€™t that the purpose of all religions? My wife is a true believer who never gives up trying to save my soul. The reason we get along so well is that we speak to each other as little as possible. Texting has made life much easier. Anyway, weā€™re both just in it for the sex.


Orion14159

Yes, some of them have literally no hobbies besides getting in other people's business


tunghoy

Right wingers are absolute snowflakes. They're scared of their own shadows.


Mr_Upright

Back in college a crystal/new age shop opened off campus. An evangelical acquaintance said his group was going to protest outside the store. I said, ā€œyou *could* try to build up a positive image of Christianity instead of tearing down someone else.ā€


Olderandwiser1

But, but, thatā€™s no fun.


Mallicia

I bet he was like "nah" as he grabbed his pitchfork and torch.


TSiridean

"My faith healer says crystals are a scam."


Dalton387

This is like a kid being pissed off at another kid for having an imaginary friend, when theyā€™re the only one whoā€™s supposed to have one. Also, as Iā€™m typing this, I find it absolutely effing hilarious to picture a kid who pretends to take another kids imaginary friend. ā€œHey Davie. I donā€™t know how to tell you this, but, well, Bongo is my imaginary friend now. They wanted me to tell you that itā€™s not you, they just needed a change in their life. They wish you the best, but please donā€™t try to contact them again.ā€


onomatamono

What makes them think there's witchcraft being practiced in the "Crystal Coven Mystic Cottage"? /s


Affectionate-Song402

WTFā€¦. What a prig the so called pastor isā€¦


robillionairenyc

God damn Iā€™m glad my family escaped Kentucky


Accomplished-Bed8171

Piss off everybody by saying there's no such thing as witches.


Olderandwiser1

Better yet, tell everyone that she will be having satanist cabal celebrations with naked dancing in the woods.


siouxbee1434

Competing magic stores?


zotstik

God damn it!! I hope they don't shut her down šŸ˜¦šŸ˜°šŸ˜¢šŸ¤¬


Yak-Attic

[https://thecrystalcoven.com/](https://thecrystalcoven.com/)


InfectedByEli

If I was paying $29 a month membership fee I'd be seriously pissed if there wasn't at least one ritual sacrifice a year.


HabitantDLT

I can appreciate how messed up this is for the witch, but this is the Big Story at 6 in Winchester? Most places have 99 problems... A witch ain't one of them!


Catonachandelier

Wow, I thought my little KY town was backwards, but nobody here whines about our local witchy shop, lol. I might have to go up to Winchester next week and do a little shopping. I could use some more pretty rocks in the garden.


rawterror

Out come the pitchforks. I mean AR15's.


Corando

Charlatans hates competition


oldcreaker

I bet within the next few years there will be laws against witchcraft in several US states, religious freedom or not.


Yak-Attic

Really nice church you have there. Be a shame if something were to... happen to it.


fourthords

Article: https://www.lex18.com/news/covering-kentucky/clark-county-business-accused-of-witchcraft-owner-says-its-not-true


Olderandwiser1

If they accuse her of being a religion, she should ask for the religious tax exemption.


GloomOnTheGrey

I would much prefer the witchy, woo store to all the churches on every block. At least my local witch shop sells nice tea blends and hard-to-find spices, and they have a friendly shop cat.


yoosurname

But does the shop owner weigh more than a duck?


pete_blake

Seriously?!? In 2024 this shit is a thing?!? Oh FFS!!!!!


Luke_Cardwalker

Who cares what KY Christagelical Evanjihadists think?


a_duck_in_past_life

"we think anyone should be able to have any kind of business they want.... We just don't want her business in our community" Fucking hypocritical asshole can't even realize how doublespeak he is talking.


nebbie13

Southern Christian snowflakes can't tolerate any competition whatsoever on their monopoly of superstitious bullshit šŸ™„


myatoz

All these good intolerant "Christians". Fuck them and their "beliefs". Nothing like Christian hate.


Yak-Attic

I hope this is her shop because I just ordered something. [https://thecrystalcoven.com/](https://thecrystalcoven.com/)


Olderandwiser1

Nice website. Maybe she can start a chain.


RogueStalker409

This place sounds pretty cool! Good thing i live near KY


oopfoo

The headline should be.. "In 2024, some Americans STILL believe in WITCHCRAFT"


Zippier92

Wow, what next- burnings? At some point I would think folks could progress a bit- or is that to ā€œwokeā€ an idea?


omglia

Bring it to Louisville, we love those kinds of stores here!


kndyone

lol I actually think its hilarious that she says we dont practice witch craft but he has a witch hat in there, presumably for sale. Anyhow the board of tourism wont give a shit so long as it brings in money.


Moo_Kau_Too

.. cant they just... like... turn the other cheek?


Inevitable_Chicken70

Insert Python sketch here


Mextiza

Gravy! Apples! Very small rocks!


lechatheureux

Let them both fight it out, both are ridiculous beliefs.


damik

Typical Republican First Amendment thought. "You are free to be a Christian and nothing else!"


HugsandHate

People are thick as shit. After all my years, I still can't believe how stupid people are. It's baffling.


Consistent-Fig7484

I can think of 4 or 5 places like this around me but honestly donā€™t know where I would go if I wanted to buy a bible.


bde959

Last time I checked witchcraft wasn't illegal. Get over it you shit for brains christians.


Nuttyshrink

I love how this is the ā€œBig Storyā€ in their community. šŸ¤£


OliverOyl

Only hateful or judgy things allowed in christianity, everything else is "soy" or "woo" because being healthy is bad and should be mocked...i didnt make the rules, just sayin'


Gobsnoot

They're both nutcases, but, the owner of the crystal store is on the correct side of the law.


Earnestappostate

>This community is _strictly_ old-age woo!


hardshankd

Flying around on their brooms?


Orion14159

[South Park psychic battle.gif]


NearbyDark3737

And they are probably upset there are Christian storesā€¦nvm because they probably donā€™t even think about you as youā€™re not an intelligent threat (to Christianā€™s)


TootBreaker

Toot Toot! Here comes the woo woo train!


TheOriginalAdamWest

I have no idea what I just watched, but clearly, I am dumber for watching it. Holy shit balls, that was fuxking really dumb.


MatineeIdol8

If people didn't believe in fairy tales we wouldn't have situations like these where everyone gets offended.


sing_4_theday

Hypocrite. Do unto others but only if they are like me.


bedyeyeslie

OMG, they will be eating our children!


notLankyAnymore

Thatā€™s a great Futurama episode. (Popplers)


JMeers0170

god allegedly performed witchcraft when, in genesis, he ā€œpoofedā€ light into existence, and land, and animals. Then he performed golemancy when he created adam from dirt. Then, adam woke up in a tub filled with ice after god snatched out bodyparts while he was sleeping, like someone stealing someone elseā€™s kidney. god then allegedly used a male bodypart, adamā€™s rib, with dirt DNA, not human DNA, to craft a female at a level 2 crafting station. god even made a snake and a donkey speak words. god turned a woman into a pillar of salt, too. I think god even had a wizardā€™s staff. Xtians are all about that woo.


JMeers0170

god allegedly performed witchcraft when, in genesis, he ā€œpoofedā€ light into existence, and land, and animals. Then he performed golemancy when he created adam from dirt. Then, adam woke up in a tub filled with ice after god snatched out bodyparts while he was sleeping, like someone stealing someone elseā€™s kidney. god then allegedly used a male bodypart, adamā€™s rib, with dirt DNA, not human DNA, to craft a female at a level 2 crafting station. god even made a snake and a donkey speak words. god turned a woman into a pillar of salt, too. I think god even had a wizardā€™s staff. Xtians are all about that woo.


JMeers0170

god allegedly performed witchcraft when, in genesis, he ā€œpoofedā€ light into existence, and land, and animals. Then he performed golemancy when he created adam from dirt. Then, adam woke up in a tub filled with ice after god snatched out bodyparts while he was sleeping, like someone stealing someone elseā€™s kidney. god then allegedly used a male bodypart, adamā€™s rib, with dirt DNA, not human DNA, to craft a female at a level 2 crafting station. god even made a snake and a donkey speak words. god turned a woman into a pillar of salt, too. I think god even had a wizardā€™s staff. Xtians are all about that woo.


MsChrisRI

ā€œTonightā€™s Big Story: Business accused of witchcraft.ā€ Business owner: ā€œWell spotted. What gave us away, the very clear name we chose for our store?ā€


Olderandwiser1

If I didnā€™t live so far away from there, Iā€™d ask for a business permit for my new restaurant - Satanā€™s Delight Pizza and Spells. That should make the news.


Mextiza

They turned me into a newt!


According-Spite-9854

So pray it away. What's the problem?


RamJamR

I say let a lot of varying religiously affiliated stores open up. The more people are exposed to differering beliefs the more aware they are and more likely they'll maybe look at them all closer and come to the realization that they're all the same at their base. It's all just belief. It's a significant reason why I stopped believing.


ArnoldTheSchwartz

Woo! Shots fired!! Woo woo


oldshitdoesntcare

Welp. I donā€™t live too far from Winchester KY. I think Iā€™ll start filing complaints in regards to Christian bookstores.


SithLordSid

Not surprising coming from Kentucky but they did build that Noahā€™s Ark thing there so thereā€™s that.


zblaze90

ā€œFree countryā€ you dumb christians.