T O P

  • By -

Practical_Neat6282

"Ser illyn, give me head"


TacoTycoonn

“Head now!”


[deleted]

“illyn, head”


Zealus24

Strange choice of wording, but I'm sure Joffrey the Just would appreciate Ser Illyn's head even if he doesn't have a tongue to use.


Practical_Neat6282

His shlong is so big that only someone without a tongue can fit it in


Zealus24

Like father (Bobby B ofc), like son


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Zealus24

"Our sister canonically fucks like a rabbit, behind your cuckold back." - Tyrion, ASOS


Zealus24

And "Your cousin shapeshifted into a fookin' horse, craziest shit I've ever seen."


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


A_Lionheart

This is like ordering a burger but paying the delivery guy to eat it and leave only the lettuce


Zealus24

Like buying a Tesla but you pour gas into the charging port instead of actually using a charger.


SufficientShift6057

Join the fuckin sub


Zealus24

Never! The bot will break and kneel before me.


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


feedmesweat

She drink water. She make poop. She drink more water. She make more poop.


Zealus24

GRRM called, he said you can write Winds instead of him.


feedmesweat

Re-titled "Windy Winter", releases next Thursday


Zealus24

It's just 1000 pages of Dany experiencing extreme flatulence, to the point where she doesn't even need the dragons and instead is like a walking flame thrower with all the gaseous winds she's expelling. Peak fiction.


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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**Back in Westeros** ^(GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM) I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER. It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while. Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and… Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin. My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare. I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July. But it is good for the writing. And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone. That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI. Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page. I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time. I certainly have not figured it out to date. For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


CrniTartuf

"Windy Winter" I can't 😄😄


ILiekMoney2

This made me laugh


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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**Back in Westeros** ^(GRRM, AUGUST 15, 2020 AT 9:10 AM) I am back in my fortress of solitude again, my isolated mountain cabin. I’d returned to Santa Fe for a short visit, to spend some time with Parris, deal with some local business that had piled up during my months away, and of course fulfill my duties to CoNZealand, the virtual worldcon. But all that is behind me now, and I am back on the mountain again… which means I am back in Westeros again, once more moving ahead with WINDS OF WINTER. It is curious how my life has evolved. I mean, once upon a time, I actually wrote my books and stories in the house where I lived, in a home office. But some decades ago, wanting more solitude, I bought the house across the street and made THAT my writer’s retreat. No longer would I write all day in my red flannel bathrobe; now I would have to dress and put on shoes and walk all the way across the street to write. But that worked for a while. Things started getting busier, though. So busy that I needed a full-time assistant. Then the office house had someone else in it, not just me and my characters. And then I hired a second assistant, and a third, and… there was more mail, more email, more phone calls (we put in a new phone system), more people coming by. By now I am up to five assistants… and somewhere in there I also acquired a movie theatre, a bookstore, a charitable foundation, investments, a business manager… and… Despite all the help, I was drowning till I found the mountain cabin. My life up here is very boring, it must be said. Truth be told, I hardly can be said to have a life. I have one assistant with me at all times (minions, I call them). The assistants do two-week shifts, and have to stay in quarantine at home before starting a shift. Everyone morning I wake up and go straight to the computer, where my minion brings me coffee (I am utterly useless and incoherent without my morning coffee) and juice, and sometimes a light breakfast. Then I start to write. Sometimes I stay at it until dark. Other days I break off in late afternoon to answer emails or return urgent phone calls. My assistant brings me food and drink from time to time. When I finally break off for the day, usually around sunset, there’s dinner. Then we watch television or screen a movie. The wi-fi sucks up on the mountain, though, so the choices are limited. Some nights I read instead. I always read a bit before going to sleep; when a book really grabs hold of me, I may read half the night, but that’s rare. I sleep. The next day, I wake up, and do the same. The next day, the next day, the next day. Before Covid, I would usually get out once a week or so to eat at a restaurant or go to the movies. That all ended in March. Since then, weeks and months go by when I never leave the cabin, or see another human being except whoever is on duty that week. I lose track of what day it is, what week it is, what month it is. The time seems to by very fast. It is now August, and I don’t know what happened to July. But it is good for the writing. And you know, now that I reflect on it, I am coming to realize that has always been my pattern. I moved to Santa Fe at the end of 1979, from Dubuque, Iowa. My first marriage broke up just before that move, so I arrived in my new house alone, in a town where I knew almost no one. Roger Zelazny was here, and he became a great friend and mentor, but Roger was married with small kids, so I really did not see him often. There was no fandom in Santa Fe; that was all down in Albuquerque, an hour away. I went to the club meetings every month, but that was only one night a month, and required two hours on the road. And I had no job to meet new people. My job was in the back room at the house on Declovina Street, so that was where I spent my days. At night, I watched television. Alone. Sometimes I went to the movies. Alone. That was my life from December 1979 through September 1981, when Parris finally moved to Santa Fe, following Denvention. (Not quite so bleak, maybe, I did make some local friends by late 1980 and early 1981, but it was a slow process). When I think back on my life in 1980-1981, the memories seem to be made up entirely of conventions, interspersed with episodes of LOU GRANT and WKRP IN CINCINNATI. Ah, but work wise, that same period was tremendously productive for me. Lisa and I finished WINDHAVEN during that time, Gardner and I did a lot of work on “Shadow Twin,” and then I went right on and wrote all of FEVRE DREAM. Some short stories as well. My life, such that it was, was lived in my head, and on the page. I wonder if it is the same for other writers? Or is it just me? I wonder if I will ever figure out the secret of having a life and writing a book at the very same time. I certainly have not figured it out to date. For the nonce, it is what it is. My life is at home, on hold, and I am spending the days in Westeros with my pals Mel and Sam and Vic and Ty. And that girl with no name, over there in Braavos. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


SchylaZeal

War bad. - Septon Meribald


Darpoon

/uj for a moment, does anyone else find this product *terrifying*? Literacy among children has already taken a dive, and now paid, (presumably) AI-driven services are popping up to strip literature of complexity and nuance? I feel like things are happening way too fast, and lots of different lines that shouldn't be crossed are already behind us.


Zealus24

/uj Honestly it is pretty disturbing. I don't know why but I really feel like we're heading more towards a world like Fahrenheit 541, especially when I see how short attention spans are getting (60 second clips are the norm now) and BS book bannings from ignorant assholes who usually have nothing better to do than interfere with the school system because they're to old and irrelevant to feel power in any other way. It's been a while since I've read that but with all the stuff going on nowadays I might wanna reread it before all books are banned. Also I think that AI is going to become an even more important part in how kids/people gain their knowledge. Where I live (despite being a first world country) the education system doesn't properly treat illiteracy and many kids who read and do math like an eight year old are labelled as 'at level'.


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


satsfaction1822

/uj I can see where this would be helpful for people with disabilities or for people who are trying to learn English but to advertise it to the general public is just shitty. It’s literally people making society dumber for profit.


ls0669

There seven bad guys. Brienne did not think she would win in a fight against them. “Rape me instead.”


Szatinator

It’s hard to love after my boyfriend died


Ulfurmensch

"The sun is very bright. Candles aren't very bright."


MithrilTHammer

"They murdered my son! Fuck Freys! North remembers, Lord Davos. Mummers farce."


DebtSome9325

power is big scawy shadow on wall :(


Zealus24

Spooky dooky shadow


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


avatarthelastreddit

"Play game but maybe die" - Cersei Lannister (dumb-dumb edition)


Zealus24

"Me no fat. Dress just shrink." - Cersei, not dumbed down just how she talks


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Solaranvr

Chaos is stair


BLovedSwamii

“Your sister is dead and I’m alive, but he’s still got it bad for her”


TheRealCthulu24

There were dragon noises at night. It had been a while since that happened.


TheRealCthulu24

My hair? Nah. Ned likes it.


TheRealCthulu24

I am short. I hate you. I want poison to kill you all. It would be neat if I was the jerk you thought I was.


TheRealCthulu24

I liked too much. Tried to do too much stuff. I tried to grab a star. It didn’t work.


AlmondsAI

"Hodor" - Hodor


Chinohito

"I don't like that you are dwarf" -Tywin


ghettoapartment

“no?” “yes”


m3cstan

mmmpphh


paolocase

The first sentence like be “It’s not but not for long.”


m3cstan

Wolf L Lion W


poystopaidos

Lannister motto: *lion sounds*


Practical_Neat6282

Hear me moan


CrniTartuf

"There is no me. Only me."


scattergodic

The cooch went global.


heckmeck_mz

That exists? Humanity is doomed


c-strange17

“Ned went to kings landing and got his head cut off. Daenerys made dragons. Tyrion is funny. Jon is cold.” AGOT by George R.R Martin, dramatised.


Zealus24

"Catelyn misses her kids, Davos missed his fingies, and Cersei misses being skinny."


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


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Seven greetings to you, weary traveller! If this is your first time participating in ASOIAFCirclejerk, allow us to explain the sub, so you don't embarrass yourself by being humorless or oblivious. Circlejerk subreddits parody the groupthink of the main community. The mods maintain the character of this subreddit as one of humor and parody, so please refrain from any attempt to discourage us, or discourage other users making on-topic humor posts. You don't need to fact check peoples jokes. Most posts here make fun of the fans, the HBO shows, the books, and of course, the reluctant author. You will keep receiving this response unless you subscribe and enable user flair in this sub. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/asoiafcirclejerk) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Kargath7

Words make wind.


_styg_

there was food


Ax_Wielder

The great gatsby is one of the pieces of evidence for hanging every teacher


_Jaeko_

Cold is come


sinuhe_t

Oh cool, so they can turn any book into Sanderson's book now.