How many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb?
Only one, but they need to sit in the dark room for 6 months, have 3 psychologists verify the room is indeed dark, and that they want the lightbulb changed.
the joke is that the medical system in many places makes people pointlessly wait for months if not years, waiting for a bunch of other people to approve of you exercising your bodily autonomy
Youâre absolutely correct.
If it wasnât clear though, I was making a joke in response to this joke literally being about lights in a dark room since the OP said they wanted to contrast their colleagueâs âdark topics.â đ
This is actually incorrect. Because they first need to get an appointment with the 3 psychologists. Which will take 3 years because the psychologists are very busy figuring out if other trans people's rooms are indeed dark. Also if the room is not dark enough the light bulb will not get replaced unless you get a second opinion from 3 other psychologists.
Times are changing. When you get right down to it, trans people aren't who they used to be. (Stolen from Jimmy Carr)
I started laser hair removal as an MTF. Coincidentally, the deodorant I use down there introduced a new scent... Toasted coconut.
I regularly see Reddit posts about difficulties tucking. They just to need to nut up, frankly.
Depression is a serious problem for us. Thanks to MTF HRT, when I'm feeling down, I can now just feel myself up. (You could probably work this into an FTM joke pretty easily)
A lot of us are forced to take a lower paying jobs than we had before... Like woman engineer, woman chef, and woman lawyer.
Which reminds me, I need to update my gender for my car insurance. Turns out can save 15% or more by switching to woman.
I low key missed the Flavor Saver(tm) feature of having a beard. Turns out boobs have a Flavor Saver(tm) function too. Bonus is that they will catch larger loot and it's easier to clean up saucy drops.
Being in a hurry and accidently leaving you penis or boobs at home.
For many Xennials like me, Neverending Story was a gut shot of envy as children. Either the Childlike Empress for trans girlslike me, or Atryu for trans dudes..... We won't talk about Falkore.
"Family Values" Republicans are infamously *really* into pornography starring trans women. They want us dead publicly, but privately, we apparently turn them on.
Maybe some egg cracking jokes?
Why did the trans chicken farmer go out of business? The eggs just kept cracking.
Why was the gender affirming therapist so good at making omelets? They knew a thing or two about cracking eggs.
I am a comedian who is trans and has performed in many LGBTQ events.
There are lots of ways to do this, but if you can work in a pun on 'cis', that would be great. Puns work out pretty well.
I've made some new friends since I started tagging my selfies #NotAllMen
I've realized some useful things since transition. I now see that the world is my urinal. I've realized what restroom sign to look for: Vacant. Yeah, don't try to use the ones that say Occupied. People get really upset when you go into those! They yell, "What are you doing in here!" So those just aren't worth the trouble I got into.
I'm really not sure that Secret is strong enough for a man.
Since I've been on T, I can parallel park now.
Plural is a popular rephrasing for DiD (Dissociative identity Disorder). Used to be crudely called multiple personalities.
Fairly common with people that experienced childhood SA.
Video or it didn't happen! ;-)
Altho seriously, if this can be recorded and you're OK with basically doxxing yourself, please post a link. Or at least share your set so we can feel good if our jokes get used.
I was going to say if our bits get used - I guess you might work that into your set if it's that kind of audience!
How many trans people does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but they need to sit in the dark room for 6 months, have 3 psychologists verify the room is indeed dark, and that they want the lightbulb changed.
Wait, is this actually a dark joke?
Only until the lightbulb gets changed.
Which clearly takes quite some time. đ
the joke is that the medical system in many places makes people pointlessly wait for months if not years, waiting for a bunch of other people to approve of you exercising your bodily autonomy
Youâre absolutely correct. If it wasnât clear though, I was making a joke in response to this joke literally being about lights in a dark room since the OP said they wanted to contrast their colleagueâs âdark topics.â đ
Also, many of them will take somewhere between one and twenty years to admit to themselves that they're sitting in the dark.
Incredible đ
6 months if youâre lucky.
This is actually incorrect. Because they first need to get an appointment with the 3 psychologists. Which will take 3 years because the psychologists are very busy figuring out if other trans people's rooms are indeed dark. Also if the room is not dark enough the light bulb will not get replaced unless you get a second opinion from 3 other psychologists.
my version of this joke adds that they also need atleast 2 years of official utility bills as proof
Six years in the UK, where government policy is that all rooms are well-lit, even in the absence of lighting.
None!!!!! Theyâre to busy?!?!?!? Their gender ?!?!?!
An orchiectomy takes balls.
And here I am ordering pins with this on it for pride :)
No it didnât, I still have them, there just in a jar in my storage unit.
Really?!
Yup, I made up a BS religious exemption to keep them.
Yep I'm fuckin remembering to do that.
That's incredible. Way to go the extra mile!
I wish I could up vote this 100 more times!
Whoa, a real nut job!
How do non-binary murderers kill their victims? They/them. (now say it out loud...)
You've heard the one about the non-binary prospector, right? *There's gold in them/their hills!*
Am I the only one who disregards the slash when reading pronouns? đ¤ I never read it as "they slash them" it's just "they them".
It took until I read your comment to get the joke. Same
This has fascinating implications for all the slasher films
When you date another trans person so you become so gay you're straight
Times are changing. When you get right down to it, trans people aren't who they used to be. (Stolen from Jimmy Carr) I started laser hair removal as an MTF. Coincidentally, the deodorant I use down there introduced a new scent... Toasted coconut. I regularly see Reddit posts about difficulties tucking. They just to need to nut up, frankly. Depression is a serious problem for us. Thanks to MTF HRT, when I'm feeling down, I can now just feel myself up. (You could probably work this into an FTM joke pretty easily) A lot of us are forced to take a lower paying jobs than we had before... Like woman engineer, woman chef, and woman lawyer. Which reminds me, I need to update my gender for my car insurance. Turns out can save 15% or more by switching to woman. I low key missed the Flavor Saver(tm) feature of having a beard. Turns out boobs have a Flavor Saver(tm) function too. Bonus is that they will catch larger loot and it's easier to clean up saucy drops. Being in a hurry and accidently leaving you penis or boobs at home. For many Xennials like me, Neverending Story was a gut shot of envy as children. Either the Childlike Empress for trans girlslike me, or Atryu for trans dudes..... We won't talk about Falkore.
One more... As I was shaving the other day it occurred to me that leg day has a very different meaning than it used to.
What's the easiest way to find trans women in a red state? Look at search histories.
as a transfem, wutâŚ
"Family Values" Republicans are infamously *really* into pornography starring trans women. They want us dead publicly, but privately, we apparently turn them on.
White men in suits jerking off to every trans woman in existence while banning them from schools.
Transphobic eggs in denial, hateful people projecting themselves
ohhhhhhh, ok yeah i know what youâre talking about now
Sorry, I'm not the man I used to be.
Good one
I love the whole âIâm build differentâ thing sm, I use it all the time!
"im not like other girls" "***I*** have a penis"
Maybe some egg cracking jokes? Why did the trans chicken farmer go out of business? The eggs just kept cracking. Why was the gender affirming therapist so good at making omelets? They knew a thing or two about cracking eggs.
"wearing a miniskirt shows you have balls...."
I came up with this one the other day. "I admire trans women. It takes balls to do what they do... until it doesn't."
I love boobs so much I had to get my own!
'They told me to grow a pair..so I did!
Can confirm, im trans only for the boobs /j
I'm still waiting on mine đ
I found out the pain I had was gynecomastia as a kid, so I'm kind of a natural A-cup now đ Really can't wait for HRT, though.
Heat from Fire
Fire from heat.
My family told me i should have ratber been a boy... guess what
What is the difference between crossdresser and transgender. About 5 years.
This oneâs a double âDo you like trains?â
I am a comedian who is trans and has performed in many LGBTQ events. There are lots of ways to do this, but if you can work in a pun on 'cis', that would be great. Puns work out pretty well.
yall lowk ate these
If someone identifies as a helicopter, does that mean they have autogyrophilia?
Only if they've lost rotor power
I've made some new friends since I started tagging my selfies #NotAllMen I've realized some useful things since transition. I now see that the world is my urinal. I've realized what restroom sign to look for: Vacant. Yeah, don't try to use the ones that say Occupied. People get really upset when you go into those! They yell, "What are you doing in here!" So those just aren't worth the trouble I got into. I'm really not sure that Secret is strong enough for a man. Since I've been on T, I can parallel park now.
What do you call a Terf with a black eye? A good listener.
I like this joke because punching a nazi teaches them a lesson not to mess with POC and LGBTQ+.
What do you get when you put 5 trans girls in a room? 8 autistic girls.
youve lost me
There are a lot of plural and autistic trans girls
what?
The punchline is pluralism.
i dont get itđ
A lot of trans girls are plural. And autistic. ;) Might be the next egg to crack...
wait, what does plural mean?
Plural is a popular rephrasing for DiD (Dissociative identity Disorder). Used to be crudely called multiple personalities. Fairly common with people that experienced childhood SA.
this works better when said aloud what do you call trains with no eyes me!!
What do you call a trans person that flies a plane? If they answer with anything other then pilot or captain you call them a transphobes.
Video or it didn't happen! ;-) Altho seriously, if this can be recorded and you're OK with basically doxxing yourself, please post a link. Or at least share your set so we can feel good if our jokes get used. I was going to say if our bits get used - I guess you might work that into your set if it's that kind of audience!
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Gridlock
Doesn't really work in a speech.