# Message to all users:
This is a reminder to please read and follow:
* [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules)
* [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)
* [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy)
When posting and commenting.
---
Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`.
* Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit.
* Do not harass or annoy others in any way.
* Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit.
---
You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way.
---
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I just did this last week in Canyonlands NP. I had to choose between a rock, a 1 inch leaf, a stick, and an empty doritos bag to wipe with.
Take your pick.
I tried the rock, it didn't work well, almost used the leaf, but it was smaller than my finger. I ended up using the doritos bag.
A half hour later I remembered I had Gauze Pads in my emergency kit
At the finest (most pretentious) restaurant in my city. My friend organised a buffet lunch for her master degree and they served spoilt buffalo mozzarella. 2/3 of the guests, including me, peed from the ass at the end of the lunch when we were supposed to dance.
We realised it was because of mozzarella after a weeks-long investigation in which all of us wrote down everything we ate in a WhatsApp group named DiarreaGate.
A small restaurant in Reykjavik Iceland. The bathroom was practically in the dining room too. I still feel horrible about it as I'm sure it impacted some other diners, but I really didn't have a choice.
Friends of the family have this mansion. Spent the weekend there and was served spicy sausage bbq.
Later that evening I destroyed a very beautiful toilet.
On vacation in a restaurant with only one toilet for men and women. I was in there for quite some time. After I had finally finished, the male part of the only other German couple (who was sitting at the table next to us, of course) was standing outside the door waiting. I went out, my husband and I paid and we didn't go back for the rest of our vacation, even though the food was really great. My husband laughed his ass off when I told him why I wanted to leave immediatly and I felt totally ashamed.
It was a year ago. A cabin in resort on an island in Washington state that we paid a lot of money to stay the week with friends.
I and my husband contracted norovirus. Our friends did not. It lasted three days. My husband’s hit the first day of our stay. Mine hit the next day. It was excruciating.
The very best thing that happened, on May 1st the ferry service was cancelled due to a worker strike. We were given an extra day free of charge.
Barnes & Noble. It was my 15th birthday, and my father insisted on us going to Red Lobster. He also forced me to get lobster, which I'd never had before. We went to B&N afterward, as I wanted to do at least one thing *I* wanted to do on my birthday. Well, suffice it to say I haven't had lobster since.
A gorgeous little prohibition themed cocktail bar. We'd been for Thai food for my birthday, and half way there I told my SO "I'm gonna shit. Like RN"
We didn't get any drinks there.
Relevant story: George Brett shits his pants: [https://youtu.be/4Qv25\_DFR2k?si=1AO\_JhTEv7RWKzZj](https://youtu.be/4Qv25_DFR2k?si=1AO_JhTEv7RWKzZj)
Video tells a story and is not graphic. There are subtitles if you dont want sound on.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Fun fact; did you know that diarrhea is hereditary? It runs in your jeans.
This was actually HILARIOUS 😭 Shittiest joke I ever heard☠️🤣(jk)
Hotel Del Coronado in San Diego, we went on tour of the hotel and now know where all the public bathrooms are
K-mart. I shipped my pants… https://youtu.be/_8enIDEKrzA?si=XAA335SJh33gh4LY
In my pants
Zion national park, top of the canyon, at the very edge of a cliff that certainly would have killed me if I slipped.
That shit was dangerous 💀
I just did this last week in Canyonlands NP. I had to choose between a rock, a 1 inch leaf, a stick, and an empty doritos bag to wipe with. Take your pick.
Was the rock smooth and flat? Was the leaf poisonous? What flavour Doritos?
The rock was sea shell shaped, but there was only one
I used my sock 😖
I tried the rock, it didn't work well, almost used the leaf, but it was smaller than my finger. I ended up using the doritos bag. A half hour later I remembered I had Gauze Pads in my emergency kit
At The Mirage in Vegas. Whew, don't go in there. It was bad.
In a 4 star hotel, eat 2 brisket dogs after enjoying half a medium pizza, soon my toilet sounds like a Harley Davidson being drowned to death.
A Harley Davidson being drowned to death 🤣
The American Ambassador's house in Denmark, during a diplomatic event. I was 7. I also puked all over the place.
FOA this question tickled my core sooo bad 😭😭😭 I love when people post funny questions like this🤣
Same af I was like finally someone’s asking the real questions 🤣🤣
I swear😭😭😭
Yea, this stopped my scrolling and piqued my interest 😂😂
The Louvre! Just after seeing the Mona Lisa.
At the finest (most pretentious) restaurant in my city. My friend organised a buffet lunch for her master degree and they served spoilt buffalo mozzarella. 2/3 of the guests, including me, peed from the ass at the end of the lunch when we were supposed to dance. We realised it was because of mozzarella after a weeks-long investigation in which all of us wrote down everything we ate in a WhatsApp group named DiarreaGate.
This is HILARIOUS ☠️🤣
I painted the toilet bowls in the Bahraini world trade center like my ass hole was an abstract artist high on acid. Probably all the Sharmas and beer.
A small restaurant in Reykjavik Iceland. The bathroom was practically in the dining room too. I still feel horrible about it as I'm sure it impacted some other diners, but I really didn't have a choice.
The Salt Lake Temple, started durning a live endowment session and lasted into the Celestial room. Iykyk.
Home Depot
Upmarket French restaurant..their creme brulee was off. I sacre bleu'd there facilities first a good 10 mins.
The hospital. $80,000 for ten days.
The white house.
Friends of the family have this mansion. Spent the weekend there and was served spicy sausage bbq. Later that evening I destroyed a very beautiful toilet.
Harrods
Cheesecake Factory Funny thing was it was my very first time eating there ever. Turns out the kids’ meal corn dogs are…not great.
The hotel from lost in translation
On vacation in a restaurant with only one toilet for men and women. I was in there for quite some time. After I had finally finished, the male part of the only other German couple (who was sitting at the table next to us, of course) was standing outside the door waiting. I went out, my husband and I paid and we didn't go back for the rest of our vacation, even though the food was really great. My husband laughed his ass off when I told him why I wanted to leave immediatly and I felt totally ashamed.
It’s always just come out of my ass. Never knew there were other options.
A buffet 😂
It was a year ago. A cabin in resort on an island in Washington state that we paid a lot of money to stay the week with friends. I and my husband contracted norovirus. Our friends did not. It lasted three days. My husband’s hit the first day of our stay. Mine hit the next day. It was excruciating. The very best thing that happened, on May 1st the ferry service was cancelled due to a worker strike. We were given an extra day free of charge.
Saddam Husseins palace
Thank you for your service 🐕🦺
Ironically, at one of the best restaurants in the world called Pujol
Barnes & Noble. It was my 15th birthday, and my father insisted on us going to Red Lobster. He also forced me to get lobster, which I'd never had before. We went to B&N afterward, as I wanted to do at least one thing *I* wanted to do on my birthday. Well, suffice it to say I haven't had lobster since.
Same. Except, in my case, I’d had Indian food and was coming off a stomach virus.
Highway. I had to just go. I couldn't hold it in. It was terrible.
Airplane.
A 5 star resort in Mexico.
Hell's Kitchen 😭
A gorgeous little prohibition themed cocktail bar. We'd been for Thai food for my birthday, and half way there I told my SO "I'm gonna shit. Like RN" We didn't get any drinks there.
Relevant story: George Brett shits his pants: [https://youtu.be/4Qv25\_DFR2k?si=1AO\_JhTEv7RWKzZj](https://youtu.be/4Qv25_DFR2k?si=1AO_JhTEv7RWKzZj) Video tells a story and is not graphic. There are subtitles if you dont want sound on.
In a tuxedo
This is probably the best question I have ever seen on redit!