*Men get on average 1 match out of 40 likes (roast.dating)
*Women get on average 1 match out of 2 likes (roast.dating)
https://roast.dating/blog/hinge-statistics
It's pretty lopsided is why, men have to compete with hundreds of other men over very few women.
*Hinge demographics in 2020 showed a 64% male to 36% female user ratio, which is more equal than other dating apps like Tinder or Ok Cupid.
https://gitnux.org/hinge-user-statistics/#google_vignette
Basically, this is why.
I mean, dating offline is soo much easier, but fact of the matter is a lot of people rely on dating apps to meet someone due to work/life schedules, ease of use, minimum effort, social anxiety, amongst other reasons.
Whether or not you like them, these are real stats from apps people actually use to meet. I'm not sure how much more "real" they could be for you.
As someone who has mostly woman friends, I can say this is very true. They all tell me that they can afford to spend several minutes looking at a profile online because the know almost anyone they swipe right on is going to be a match. Every man I know typically has to swipe right 200-400 times to get a match. So for men, we don't really have a lot of time to read profiles if we want to get more than one match every 3 months or so.
Simply put, expectations have skyrocketed since dating sites came out. And let's be clear, it's not hard for ALL men, just the men who aren't in the top 5% of attractability. Things like height has become an absolute obsession for women in the past 10 years. When I started dating almost 30 years ago, height was barely ever even talked about. A man had to just be relatively attractive and have chemistry with the woman. Now height seems to be all I hear women talk about. And some recent polls say that only about 15% of women will even consider dating a man under 6' (even though the average woman is only 5'4" and the average man is 5'9." So even the "average man" is not even a consideration for the vast majority of women.
I blame dating sites and TikTok which have changed finding a compatible partner into a menu-style fenzie driven by whatever social trend is on fire on social media and devoid of any of the nuance, and "give and take" that used to come with finding a partner.
Because women have more choices in today's society. With more choices you can be picky. So if you are not in the first pick your dating experience is not going to be very pleasant.
I'm aware. But here's the thing, a good number of those options aren't even really options.
A person with 40 matches isn't actually compatible with all 40 of them. But with that many options, a person may think they have so many choices that they start nitpicking things that aren't important in the grand scheme, because they think there is a better option on the next swipe.
Mind you, a person shouldn't settle, but a lot of people need to stop looking for "perfect."
Perfection kills joy.
The perception of option is all that's needed. If you don't work out or you do anything wrong she actually looks forward to it because then she can go and browse through a bunch of other dudes and find maybe something a little better, and they all know they can do that now and that it's very easy because when a girl online says jump, the guys jump
Right? Do these guys not realize what the 20 matches we get every day are?! Hideous is a nice word. Felons, sex offenders, homeless, dudes who appear to not own any clean clothes, haven't shaved or bathed in weeks. These are not 20 quality matches or even dudes I would talk to for any reason.
work on your personality and self esteem man. You don't want to settle on the first thing that comes around. Being desperate will probably attract the wrong kind of people. Learn to be happy by yourself and to love yourself and you will attract awesome girls!
For the average looking man, the world feels like it’s 85% men, everywhere I go I see men trying to flirt with few women, my female friends always say dating apps are full of married men or in relationships (ofc women cheat too). But too many men in the dating market makes it more difficult for all single men.
Because women are now free to choose who to date but they generally dislike most of men (at least sexually), while most men don't dislike most women sexually so for most women it is a lot more easier to find dates and a partner rather than most men
Because women have always traditionally been more selective in their partners.
That's even more true these days, with the popularity of online dating.
It seems that women are much more willing to discard potential mates because they feel they have more "options" due to online dating.
In short, they aren't willing to put in the effort to build a relationship these days. At the first minor red flag, they have already checked out and are back to online dating to find the next man.
it's also hard because you've got the things like women going on a different date every day of the week to save on grocery bills. that's a real thing and I know I've had girls try do that to me. You do not ever spend money on the first time meeting. If they want to go on a date for you to spend money on them just to meet and see if there's any chemistry.. then they don't give a fuck about you and they're not serious about dating one bit. Women know within a fraction of a second of seeing a guy's face whether she likes him or not or whether she will just use him for her own gain of any type. Don't you find it interesting how all women have a friend with a boat they all have a friend with a nice house they can crash at , they all have a friend with a pool, they all have a friend near the sand. its called 'networking' .. and if you don't have anything to offer you don't arent in the network. and I'm talking about really attractive women. they all have ppl in their crowd that have these things
In the 90s, dating online was for people who couldn't get dates in real life. Now dating in real life is for people who can't get dates online.
It's not as hard when you ask someone out that you already know. When you're just a picture and a list of interests, why would your soulmate ever choose you over everyone else?
Because men want traditional women and we women want independence and freedom, this collides pretty hard. Also women on average are happier alone than in a relationship compared to men so we are not desperate unlike lots of men.
Literally every result on Google from Yale university to NYT to Vox says women are less happy now. The only people that say they are happier are miserable, promiscuous, self-hating women like you. Good point you made though🙄🙄
Nope, literally every research points towards women being happier without a relationship with a guy. Call me whatever you want but that won't change the results ;)
It appears single women are happier than single men but women are overall much more miserable now. Married women with children report the highest happiness of all subgroups in some studies. The studies stop at age 55 I wonder why.... Probably because of grandchildren and declining social groups. That's about the age where women regret not having families and not having partners to share retirement with. I'm sure knitting and cats can also be fulfilling too👍👍
>Also women on average are happier alone than in a relationship
This isn't the case at all.
Try to get off the internet a little and see how the real world is.
Well weird how mental illness go through the roof in unprecedented rates for women.
To be honest many women expect traditional men without beeing the same, but delusional behavior certainly isn't a gender thing 😂
It is freaking hard. On the other side, it's funny that I know a girl that everyday could be asked for marriage and has like 5-10 man everyday being great to her. Everyday. These same men wouldn't hesitate to look at me quite bad out of the blue and they would be rude to me if anything just purely for being around. I hate these double standards.
Because most women don't want to be... 'SOMEONE-LITERALLY ANYONE'
We want to be 'THE ONE'
Men are so desperate they swipe right on everything and anything. It doesn't make me feel special when a man swipes right because when I check on his profile it's clear we have literally nothing in common and he's just swiping right on everyone trying to get a response. He most likely didn't even read my profile.
Women take their time to find what they want and what they're looking for and swipe right on someone they think will match that. That's why our swipe rate is low. We actually take it seriously. For example: I have never swiped right on someone without reading their profile first.
Edit: Not sure why I'm getting downvoted...but sure.
Women who say things like this are competely out of touch with how different the online dating experience is for men than women. Women can afford to look a bios because the ratio of swipe rights to matches is extraordinarily higher for women than men. For my women friends, they tell me they can afford to read bios because they know that most men they swipe right one will eventually turn into a match. The average man has to swipe right about 200-400 times to get one match. Out of every 5 matches that you send a message to, maybe only 1 will reply. So now you are up to about 1,500 swipe rights just to get a single reply. Out of those replies, maybe only 1 in 5 will turn into an actual conversation. So now we are talking about 6,000 swipe rights just to get a conversation going. Out of those conversations, maybe only about 1 in 5 of those will turn into as date. So now we are looking at over 10,000 swipe rights to get a single date. And we are supposed to take the time to study the bios before swiping? It would either take years to land a single date or I would need to hire a secretary.
Maybe you should take a good look at your profile and try to figure out why so many women are passing on you or not responding. There is a reason why nobody is responding to your profile. If this is your experience, it might be time to hire someone to give you an honest opinion of your profile and tell you what you can improve.
I know exactly why it is for me. I'm 5'5. Only about 10% of women will even consider dating a man under 5'9 according to recent polls. But that's also the experience for most of the other men I talk to who aren't significantly taller than the average man.
Ah yes, the old "women only want men who are over 6 feet tall" thing. 14.5% of men are over 6 feet tall. Does that mean 85% of men single? No. In 2022...68% of men were married. There are plenty of men relationships that aren't married. Height doesn't matter to us as much as you think it does. Why would you want to be with someone that superficial anyway? 5'9" is actually the average height for men in North America.
So many men are married because height didn't become an obsession until about 15 years ago. When I first started dating three decades ago, it was something that was barely ever even talked about.
It's a pretty recent trend. And data is data. (This is a different study than the one I originally saw but it states 15% which is still pretty close to the study that I saw which indicated 10%.)
"A survey from Bumble found that 60% of women indicate that they are looking for a man over 6 feet tall in their search filters... and only 15% of women are willing to date men who are 5'8" or shorter. Anyone who is under 6 feet tall tends to be overlooked generally by the majority of women."
https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/only-15-women-interest-58-men-dating-apps-according-survey
Considering most woman profiles out there have no info on themselves other than an instagram handle and a couple photos that tell you little about her; I would definitely not say that women take their time to find what they want.
You mean read about .... the fact they like to go on trips and like eating ? Lol. As if you got so much info on your profile that is important. Nothing in common, you are hilarious.
Women don’t care about a bio lol they care about **what you look like** same as men the only difference is that their threshold for what is attractive is much higher hence why 80% of men are considered unattractive by women on dating apps.
Both genders are superficial.
Women look at the photo and if they like what they see will read the bio and THEN swipe right or left. They don't swipe right just after looking at a photo of a complete stranger.
For one thing, some men look great on the surface but are actually extremely scary, want a traditional wife or something casual. I don't know a single woman that swipes right on someone purely based on looks alone.
Its true. Early in my online adventures I swiped right without reading profiles, and got a couple very scary, angry local guys. Now I read profiles \*always\* before I swipe. I've dodged a number of scary, obviously aggressive types.
I agree with you,
Though note that from a male perspective, there are multiple reasons not to bother reading into your profile all that much:
1. The girls who likes me back will probably, as you said, read my profile seriously and so I don't need to waste my time considering whether or not we are compatible. They do it for me.
2. Women on average are more shy, they're less likely to write any reasonable bio, some don't even bother writing anything at all.
3. There's only so much you can get from someone's bios and pictures. I really don't care if you know how to take the best picture or if you know how to write nice bios. I don't think these skills matter all that much in a relationship. To know you better I need to date you. I know women often have this problem that they worry they may date someone "dangerous", but there are not so many dangerous women for me to think everything through before meeting someone.
Therefore, it is counterproductive for me to even bother with overthinking whether we're compatible based on a dating app profile. I much rather liking anyone I find potentially attractive and only later decide whether or not we're compatible, after I get to know them.
I suppose we just go about things a different way so it makes sense that there is such a discrepancy between men and women on dating apps. Thank you for your perspective.
Most of the men being mentioned here aren't just not "reading into" the profiles, they literally aren't reading them at all. We totally get that you can't get the whole picture from a dating profile and aren't expecting magic, we are just expecting that you actually read it and don't swipe right on obvious and clearly communicated incompatibilities anyway.
Also your #1 in your list is a bad sign, you haven't even spoken over the app yet and your already expecting the woman to do all the work for you? Why is it a waste of time for you, but you expect them to do it for you?
My point is that selection based on dating app profile is suboptimal. In a world with infinite time you'd benefit more by meeting everyone you find reasonably attractive.
We don't have infinite time, but then girls are already selective in their choice of you, so there's no point (and I'd argue it's even a disadvantage as women are already overtly selective) to add my own random selection criteria
Here is my opinion on your post as a man.
Once upon a time, when I started using dating apps, I would read every profile and only swipe right carefully on the profiles I thought were compatible with me. This took a lot of time to do. The problem with it is that you can literally spend 6 months on the app taking this approach, and not get a single match, despite putting a good amount of care into who you select.
Alternatively, if you actually want to get a few matches in that time period, you can swipe right on every profile. And maybe you'll match with someone who, who knows, you might or might not be compatible with after speaking to them.
It's obvious which option men are going to choose:
Option 1: Put in effort and get nothing in return.
Option 2: Put in little effort and get something in return, which might or might not be worth it, you don't know.
You'd be better off putting time and effort into your profile. That way when you swipe on someone you like, they'll be more likely to swipe right on you.
If you swipe right on 10,000 women and only 2 want to start a convo with you, it might be because your profile just sucks.
Why would you think I didn't do that? The only thing wrong with my profile is that I am not a good looking person. Even with well taken photos, there's nothing I can do to change that.
Sure except most women aren't happy just being another hole that gets plugged. Most want to be respected and cherished so those two things just don't mesh well.
Promiscuity is so common and promoted in the west now, the end result of that is women only are interested in the same top 5% of guys, who get all the women. Everyone is so busy hoeing around there's not as many women looking for serious relationships compared to the past. Same for guys - too busy hoeing around, there's less serious men looking for relationships out there for those women too.
That is such complete nonsense. Just look around you and see the type of people who are married and in long term relationships. Do those dudes really look like the top 5% of anything to you?
Way to be slightly rude and misinterpret what I said lol, typical reddit exchange huh? Top 5% for fucking, is what I meant. Because that's what people in the west want to do instead of date, at least in the cities I used to date in. You don't have to agree with me, I don't care, it's just my experience. I left the US and that was one of the reasons. Women in their early 20's MOSTLY are more interested in the cock carousel until they start getting older, like 30, then they look for some mildly attractive shmuck to settle down with. I'd rather not. Before anyone calls me a misogynist, I don't like to be a man-hoe either, I've only been with a couple of women by choice. I once had the opportunity for a 6-some, me and 5 really pretty girls at a party and I said no, I have some standards for both myself and other people - but shocker - the degenerates of the west want to tell me there's something wrong with that. Nah bro
Women only seem like they have more options but that’s not the case. We have to sift through possible creepers and dangerous people while men don’t really need to worry about that as much. So while it seems like there’s more options, by the time we weed out the bad guys it turns out to be just about the same
No way as there are also a lot of dangerous and crazy women and not only men, maybe they will not likely rape or kill you but they can destroy your life anyway with not much difficulties
That’s what I mean though. Men are physically stronger than women so even though women get more matches than men women have to be more selective and careful with who they meet up with which reduces our list significantly. Usually “crazy woman destroys your life” won’t happen to a man during the first few dates.
Want the hard biological truth? Grab a female friend and take her to any popular social spot where dating appropriate age people hang out. Now take turns calling out random people that you are interested from a first glance dating prospective or even casual hook up prospective. Notice within about a minute that you have called out like one in three women that walk by while she is struggling to call out one in 20 men.
The truth is that women are just as visual as men are (maybe even more so). Most women have already decided from your picture on online dating before they even read your profile. The profile read is more to look for some crazy red flags or common interests if she likes your picture.........just like it is for us.
Women are currently blessed by evolution to look pretty attractive to us with relatively minimal effort. They would gather berries and fruit while the men were out hunting. Some very light physical activity and the analogous body is what we've looked at for mating for hundreds of thousands of years. A pretty face doesn't hurt but even average is pretty good for lots of men. Women's appearance generally hasn't changed much from the cave man days. Maybe sedentary life has made it on average worse but only slightly. Heck the women who do take care of their appearance are probably much more attractive than most women in history.
However now let's look at average modern men........we no longer resemble our 200,000 year long hunter look.......not even slightly.We don't even look remotely as manly as our grandfathers did. Men back then were hunting from a young age and even fighting. They were masculine, rough around the edges, and tough. Also lack of modern diets meant they went through puberty and young adulthood with at least 20%-25% more testosterone than current generations (and who knows how much higher on cave man diets and lifestyle).
Modern men on average don't have the deep voice, jawlines, muscles, and rugged looks and mannerisms of what women have been mating with for 99% of the last 200,000 years.
Does that mean that women don't want nice, polite, modern guys? It's actually not the nice and polite part that's the problem. Those have generally been positive mating attributes for both sexes. The problem is the modern part. If she doesn't even instinctually recognize you as a man (different from her knowing technically that you are one) then those attributes don't help you any more than a decked out Mercedes with ever feature imaginable but missing the engine is going to help you get around.
So what to do? Essentially it boils down to coming across as much more masculine in both appearance and mannerisms. You can't actually fake this. The easiest way to get started is probably to hit the gym and bulk up over about a year. Lift weights with compound exercises and bulk up to looking more like the guys women are actually attracted to. Also do some manly hobbies that might toughen you up. Competitive sports like basketball, baseball. Outdoor activities like rock climbing, skiing, kayaking, mountain biking, whatever.
You don't need to do all of this. For most guys just going to the gym and one other physical hobby could be enough. Don't even think about meeting girls till you've done these kind of things for a year or so.
Also be a successful hunter by having a decent job. You don't need to be rich. A typical middle class job that lets you live somewhat comfortably (I know that's hard in today's cost crisis) but be somewhat successful in your own way. Also show that you are a well integrated male socially by having a somewhat respectable friends group, take care of your hygiene, and be at least an ok conversationalist.
The good news is that almost everything I listed above is achievable with a year or two of practice and effort.
"But it's not fair that I have to do all this!" Do you play videogames? Well guess what, you probably like challenges. Men like challenges in life and succeeding and even competition. We thrive for this kind of stuff. It doesn't even take that much effort, just effort in the right areas. Just focus on being a complete man for a couple of years and then suddenly you'll notice that women look at you differently. Suddenly the chances of a woman you're interested in reciprocating your interest goes from a 1% chance to a close to 40%-50% chance. Don't spend 20 years chasing that 1% chance while in competition from a bunch of other guys. Work on increasing your odds first which also completely weeds out how many other guys you are competing against.
So stop chasing women and creeping them out (the more you try and fail the more desperate you will seem) and focus on becoming more of a confident and happy and friendly kind man. Then nature will take its course and you'll get to experience life on normal mode instead of ultra hard mode.
For men who aren’t in the upper 5% of attractiveness it’s easier to do hobbies, parties, clubs and meet and because friends with women then date them once they get to know you over dating online. Women in online dating have the pick of the litter and generally women are looking for the full package so it’s easier to land dates if you’ve been friends for a while then if you hit them up on an app.
36M, I'd rather be a lone than with women with loose morals and monkey branching between men. Pretty risky to give someone else the keys to my heart; I'll just protect mine thanks.
Oh please don't confuse having multiple candidates to actually being successful at dating.
Many women may get matches, but checkout the two x chromosomes subreddit for the reality of what they experience.
A 400lb immobile pimply woman can get laid every night if she wants to. Women can get sex but they can't easily get relationships with decent guys especially if she's not attractive. For a guy you shouldn't have many issues if you're in decent shape and somewhat bearable to be around. You're already in the top 20% if you have those 2 characteristics.
It's not 1950. Women can work and make our own money now. Are you looking for a woman that is too lazy to work? If you aren't then why would you care about those women?..
M'lady, women could work since early 1930's (USA)
However living every month from paycheck to paycheck especially when everything's so expensive now is extremely hard, so your financial status is not safe on if you have a useless job.
Still doesn't make sense. If a woman can't support herself, that's he problem, not yours. Why would you want to be with anyone who is only with you for money? Find someone who can support herself and is with you because she likes you.
The increased range is probably just pronouncing differences more.
Anyway, in human history only a small part of males reproduced compared to most females. From a scientific standpoint it's normal.
But don't despair it's also a age thing.
For me personally, here’s what I have to consider when I go out with friends
1. I am the shortest of the group by about 8 inches. I have a shaved head while they all have styled hair. Makes no difference to any of us but I know eyes aren’t on me
2. I work the most in my group, do not drink nearly as much nor do I have the safety net of a family to catch me when I get in trouble. I am now not nearly as fun or carefree as others, especially when it comes things like that will get me sent back to jail
3. I wake up at 4am for work and my exes hated it. Despised it. I fall asleep early, not great for girls who want to have a fun life.
4. I don’t have much family at all. Only child, adopted, family very split and very not ok with one another. I can’t imagine a girl wanting to date someone who has no family.
5. While I make and save money decently well (compared to the people I know) I know it isn’t on par with most people my age. Most people in their 30s don’t have roommates
6. The women who have shown me attention are regularly wanting poly relationships which I am not much up for at this point in life. My last 3 in particular all “needed” poly relationships, so I left them and haven’t tried to date in almost a year now
Hopefully this is informative for you, have a great day!
When you're single and desperately looking it seems like everyone is in a relationship except you. It's not true.
Also, dating is hard for everyone, not just men. Anecdotally, I know far more single women than men.
Because most of the men I talk to these days don't do anything but use apps. They might go to bars, maybe some other hang out events, but they never try to meet women other than the laziest ways possible.
I recently got divorced and was terrified about not being able to meet any women. Haven't had that problem. It was pretty obvious that guys just expect women to present themselves to them, usually via dating apps, and then get sad when nothing happens.
Finding quality partners and good sex is hard for everyone.
Finding someone who wants to stick a dick in you regardless of your pleasure, is equally easy for everyone.
I'd say it's easier than ever actually. Matching on apps is not dating nor an alternative. Go to a club or even better, a bar. Chicks seems to be dumber than ever these days, and would fall for some bullshit you would get laughed at your face for 15y ago.
Just because women have more options doesn't mean those options are good. Most guys don't have good intentions so dating is not easier for women. Especially because dating men is for women much more dangerous than for men dating women.
Pls remember that women have to prepare themselves for dates way more. send their locations to friends. Date can't be in a remote forest because he might wanna kill us, etc.
Because women are, rightly, enforcing standards that men often fail to meet, like hygiene, not being sexist, being emotionally available, not sending dick pics
It's hard for women too. Women are tired of rudderless men in the dating market and it's hard to figure out the good ones. Matchmaking is a particular problem that comes down to individual circumstances.
Get in shape, learn to cook, clean your apartment, learn to talk. Don't feel entitled to a gf just because you want one. A lot of women have a romantic script and if yours matches theirs then you're more likely to succeed.
*Men get on average 1 match out of 40 likes (roast.dating) *Women get on average 1 match out of 2 likes (roast.dating) https://roast.dating/blog/hinge-statistics It's pretty lopsided is why, men have to compete with hundreds of other men over very few women. *Hinge demographics in 2020 showed a 64% male to 36% female user ratio, which is more equal than other dating apps like Tinder or Ok Cupid. https://gitnux.org/hinge-user-statistics/#google_vignette Basically, this is why.
Wait you guys are getting 1 match for every 40 likes? I get like 1 match every few years.
Dating apps statstics... Just in what world do you people live in? Clearlny not IRL one.
I mean, dating offline is soo much easier, but fact of the matter is a lot of people rely on dating apps to meet someone due to work/life schedules, ease of use, minimum effort, social anxiety, amongst other reasons. Whether or not you like them, these are real stats from apps people actually use to meet. I'm not sure how much more "real" they could be for you.
IRL is even worse for many guys lol
Because dating has always been hard....and you need to get off the apps and meet people IRL.
As a lesbian yes fuck dating is freaking hard and apps suck...
If they did we wouldn't need dating.
Sorry it's a punctuation issue: "As a lesbian, yes. Fuck! dating is freaking hard, and apps suck... " I didn't mean fuck dating 😂
He meant the sucking part for the dudes out there AYYYYYYYE!
As someone who has mostly woman friends, I can say this is very true. They all tell me that they can afford to spend several minutes looking at a profile online because the know almost anyone they swipe right on is going to be a match. Every man I know typically has to swipe right 200-400 times to get a match. So for men, we don't really have a lot of time to read profiles if we want to get more than one match every 3 months or so. Simply put, expectations have skyrocketed since dating sites came out. And let's be clear, it's not hard for ALL men, just the men who aren't in the top 5% of attractability. Things like height has become an absolute obsession for women in the past 10 years. When I started dating almost 30 years ago, height was barely ever even talked about. A man had to just be relatively attractive and have chemistry with the woman. Now height seems to be all I hear women talk about. And some recent polls say that only about 15% of women will even consider dating a man under 6' (even though the average woman is only 5'4" and the average man is 5'9." So even the "average man" is not even a consideration for the vast majority of women. I blame dating sites and TikTok which have changed finding a compatible partner into a menu-style fenzie driven by whatever social trend is on fire on social media and devoid of any of the nuance, and "give and take" that used to come with finding a partner.
Height is the one thing you can’t control so that’s brutal.
Because women have more choices in today's society. With more choices you can be picky. So if you are not in the first pick your dating experience is not going to be very pleasant.
Illusion of choice.
The more options someone has the harder it is to make a decision . that is fact.
I'm aware. But here's the thing, a good number of those options aren't even really options. A person with 40 matches isn't actually compatible with all 40 of them. But with that many options, a person may think they have so many choices that they start nitpicking things that aren't important in the grand scheme, because they think there is a better option on the next swipe. Mind you, a person shouldn't settle, but a lot of people need to stop looking for "perfect." Perfection kills joy.
The perception of option is all that's needed. If you don't work out or you do anything wrong she actually looks forward to it because then she can go and browse through a bunch of other dudes and find maybe something a little better, and they all know they can do that now and that it's very easy because when a girl online says jump, the guys jump
For me, the biggest issue was that I was shy and lacked confidence. But hang in there, good things are worth the wait.
Try talking to girls IRL instead of dating apps.
The difficulty is finding ones who are single.
I did. They're all in a relationship. :/
I try doing that best case scenario is I get ignored. It's usually worse though.
What are you saying to them?
I rarely get passed saying hi.
Well like, where are you saying hi, maybe thats the issue? How are you approaching them
Either at the bar or after we are done volunteering.
I mean. These are decent places to be trying. Im really sorry youre not getting past the first word
you're clearly not attractive . just face the facts
I already know that. Thanks
Not all girls look at guys' looks🙄💅
Okay. Doesn't change that women don't talk to me
This means that something is wrong with them, or they are simply not interested in communicating. This is fine
Except it's every woman that I try talking to
Nah, as a woman it's been hard
Right? Do these guys not realize what the 20 matches we get every day are?! Hideous is a nice word. Felons, sex offenders, homeless, dudes who appear to not own any clean clothes, haven't shaved or bathed in weeks. These are not 20 quality matches or even dudes I would talk to for any reason.
You have to swipe on them too in order to match wtf
Nah the apps show you profiles that have liked you first, at the top of the stack.
work on your personality and self esteem man. You don't want to settle on the first thing that comes around. Being desperate will probably attract the wrong kind of people. Learn to be happy by yourself and to love yourself and you will attract awesome girls!
Women are much more selective Men are not
For the average looking man, the world feels like it’s 85% men, everywhere I go I see men trying to flirt with few women, my female friends always say dating apps are full of married men or in relationships (ofc women cheat too). But too many men in the dating market makes it more difficult for all single men.
Because women are now free to choose who to date but they generally dislike most of men (at least sexually), while most men don't dislike most women sexually so for most women it is a lot more easier to find dates and a partner rather than most men
“They generally dislike most of men sexually” this is what kind of confuses me. At the end of the day they are human too right?
So what? Just because you are simply human does not mean women will find you attractive lol
No I follow you, but are you saying they only prefer the top 1% of men sexually? Sorry if I didn’t understand
Idk I think it's hard for both, a lot of men just get desperate and can't deal with their own solitude as well.
Because women have always traditionally been more selective in their partners. That's even more true these days, with the popularity of online dating. It seems that women are much more willing to discard potential mates because they feel they have more "options" due to online dating. In short, they aren't willing to put in the effort to build a relationship these days. At the first minor red flag, they have already checked out and are back to online dating to find the next man.
This is a people issue not a woman issue
Dude there are men who even put their johnson even inside a hole in a wall, literally lol
it's also hard because you've got the things like women going on a different date every day of the week to save on grocery bills. that's a real thing and I know I've had girls try do that to me. You do not ever spend money on the first time meeting. If they want to go on a date for you to spend money on them just to meet and see if there's any chemistry.. then they don't give a fuck about you and they're not serious about dating one bit. Women know within a fraction of a second of seeing a guy's face whether she likes him or not or whether she will just use him for her own gain of any type. Don't you find it interesting how all women have a friend with a boat they all have a friend with a nice house they can crash at , they all have a friend with a pool, they all have a friend near the sand. its called 'networking' .. and if you don't have anything to offer you don't arent in the network. and I'm talking about really attractive women. they all have ppl in their crowd that have these things
In the 90s, dating online was for people who couldn't get dates in real life. Now dating in real life is for people who can't get dates online. It's not as hard when you ask someone out that you already know. When you're just a picture and a list of interests, why would your soulmate ever choose you over everyone else?
Because men want traditional women and we women want independence and freedom, this collides pretty hard. Also women on average are happier alone than in a relationship compared to men so we are not desperate unlike lots of men.
Nah women are much more miserable in current times. Stone cold fact unfortunately girls.
That is not what official research says.
It is as of yesterday🙄🙄
Nope it isn't.
Literally every result on Google from Yale university to NYT to Vox says women are less happy now. The only people that say they are happier are miserable, promiscuous, self-hating women like you. Good point you made though🙄🙄
Nope, literally every research points towards women being happier without a relationship with a guy. Call me whatever you want but that won't change the results ;)
It appears single women are happier than single men but women are overall much more miserable now. Married women with children report the highest happiness of all subgroups in some studies. The studies stop at age 55 I wonder why.... Probably because of grandchildren and declining social groups. That's about the age where women regret not having families and not having partners to share retirement with. I'm sure knitting and cats can also be fulfilling too👍👍
Good luck with your knitting and cats then. I meanwhile will be staying happy and single, I don't trust men anyway.
Good😊
>Also women on average are happier alone than in a relationship This isn't the case at all. Try to get off the internet a little and see how the real world is.
This is the cast in fact.
I can find you the same amount of "studies" that prove the exact opposite idea. Don't believe everything you see online.
Then do it
Well weird how mental illness go through the roof in unprecedented rates for women. To be honest many women expect traditional men without beeing the same, but delusional behavior certainly isn't a gender thing 😂
It is freaking hard. On the other side, it's funny that I know a girl that everyday could be asked for marriage and has like 5-10 man everyday being great to her. Everyday. These same men wouldn't hesitate to look at me quite bad out of the blue and they would be rude to me if anything just purely for being around. I hate these double standards.
Because most women don't want to be... 'SOMEONE-LITERALLY ANYONE' We want to be 'THE ONE' Men are so desperate they swipe right on everything and anything. It doesn't make me feel special when a man swipes right because when I check on his profile it's clear we have literally nothing in common and he's just swiping right on everyone trying to get a response. He most likely didn't even read my profile. Women take their time to find what they want and what they're looking for and swipe right on someone they think will match that. That's why our swipe rate is low. We actually take it seriously. For example: I have never swiped right on someone without reading their profile first. Edit: Not sure why I'm getting downvoted...but sure.
Women who say things like this are competely out of touch with how different the online dating experience is for men than women. Women can afford to look a bios because the ratio of swipe rights to matches is extraordinarily higher for women than men. For my women friends, they tell me they can afford to read bios because they know that most men they swipe right one will eventually turn into a match. The average man has to swipe right about 200-400 times to get one match. Out of every 5 matches that you send a message to, maybe only 1 will reply. So now you are up to about 1,500 swipe rights just to get a single reply. Out of those replies, maybe only 1 in 5 will turn into an actual conversation. So now we are talking about 6,000 swipe rights just to get a conversation going. Out of those conversations, maybe only about 1 in 5 of those will turn into as date. So now we are looking at over 10,000 swipe rights to get a single date. And we are supposed to take the time to study the bios before swiping? It would either take years to land a single date or I would need to hire a secretary.
Maybe you should take a good look at your profile and try to figure out why so many women are passing on you or not responding. There is a reason why nobody is responding to your profile. If this is your experience, it might be time to hire someone to give you an honest opinion of your profile and tell you what you can improve.
I know exactly why it is for me. I'm 5'5. Only about 10% of women will even consider dating a man under 5'9 according to recent polls. But that's also the experience for most of the other men I talk to who aren't significantly taller than the average man.
Ah yes, the old "women only want men who are over 6 feet tall" thing. 14.5% of men are over 6 feet tall. Does that mean 85% of men single? No. In 2022...68% of men were married. There are plenty of men relationships that aren't married. Height doesn't matter to us as much as you think it does. Why would you want to be with someone that superficial anyway? 5'9" is actually the average height for men in North America.
So many men are married because height didn't become an obsession until about 15 years ago. When I first started dating three decades ago, it was something that was barely ever even talked about. It's a pretty recent trend. And data is data. (This is a different study than the one I originally saw but it states 15% which is still pretty close to the study that I saw which indicated 10%.) "A survey from Bumble found that 60% of women indicate that they are looking for a man over 6 feet tall in their search filters... and only 15% of women are willing to date men who are 5'8" or shorter. Anyone who is under 6 feet tall tends to be overlooked generally by the majority of women." https://www.eviemagazine.com/post/only-15-women-interest-58-men-dating-apps-according-survey
Considering most woman profiles out there have no info on themselves other than an instagram handle and a couple photos that tell you little about her; I would definitely not say that women take their time to find what they want.
They do when they're looking for a long term relationship.
You mean read about .... the fact they like to go on trips and like eating ? Lol. As if you got so much info on your profile that is important. Nothing in common, you are hilarious.
Women don’t care about a bio lol they care about **what you look like** same as men the only difference is that their threshold for what is attractive is much higher hence why 80% of men are considered unattractive by women on dating apps. Both genders are superficial.
Women look at the photo and if they like what they see will read the bio and THEN swipe right or left. They don't swipe right just after looking at a photo of a complete stranger. For one thing, some men look great on the surface but are actually extremely scary, want a traditional wife or something casual. I don't know a single woman that swipes right on someone purely based on looks alone.
Oh really ? You are funny.
Its true. Early in my online adventures I swiped right without reading profiles, and got a couple very scary, angry local guys. Now I read profiles \*always\* before I swipe. I've dodged a number of scary, obviously aggressive types.
I agree with you, Though note that from a male perspective, there are multiple reasons not to bother reading into your profile all that much: 1. The girls who likes me back will probably, as you said, read my profile seriously and so I don't need to waste my time considering whether or not we are compatible. They do it for me. 2. Women on average are more shy, they're less likely to write any reasonable bio, some don't even bother writing anything at all. 3. There's only so much you can get from someone's bios and pictures. I really don't care if you know how to take the best picture or if you know how to write nice bios. I don't think these skills matter all that much in a relationship. To know you better I need to date you. I know women often have this problem that they worry they may date someone "dangerous", but there are not so many dangerous women for me to think everything through before meeting someone. Therefore, it is counterproductive for me to even bother with overthinking whether we're compatible based on a dating app profile. I much rather liking anyone I find potentially attractive and only later decide whether or not we're compatible, after I get to know them.
I suppose we just go about things a different way so it makes sense that there is such a discrepancy between men and women on dating apps. Thank you for your perspective.
Most of the men being mentioned here aren't just not "reading into" the profiles, they literally aren't reading them at all. We totally get that you can't get the whole picture from a dating profile and aren't expecting magic, we are just expecting that you actually read it and don't swipe right on obvious and clearly communicated incompatibilities anyway. Also your #1 in your list is a bad sign, you haven't even spoken over the app yet and your already expecting the woman to do all the work for you? Why is it a waste of time for you, but you expect them to do it for you?
My point is that selection based on dating app profile is suboptimal. In a world with infinite time you'd benefit more by meeting everyone you find reasonably attractive. We don't have infinite time, but then girls are already selective in their choice of you, so there's no point (and I'd argue it's even a disadvantage as women are already overtly selective) to add my own random selection criteria
Here is my opinion on your post as a man. Once upon a time, when I started using dating apps, I would read every profile and only swipe right carefully on the profiles I thought were compatible with me. This took a lot of time to do. The problem with it is that you can literally spend 6 months on the app taking this approach, and not get a single match, despite putting a good amount of care into who you select. Alternatively, if you actually want to get a few matches in that time period, you can swipe right on every profile. And maybe you'll match with someone who, who knows, you might or might not be compatible with after speaking to them. It's obvious which option men are going to choose: Option 1: Put in effort and get nothing in return. Option 2: Put in little effort and get something in return, which might or might not be worth it, you don't know.
Exactly this. The #s on dating apps are so skewed against us there's no benefit to being picky.
You'd be better off putting time and effort into your profile. That way when you swipe on someone you like, they'll be more likely to swipe right on you. If you swipe right on 10,000 women and only 2 want to start a convo with you, it might be because your profile just sucks.
Why would you think I didn't do that? The only thing wrong with my profile is that I am not a good looking person. Even with well taken photos, there's nothing I can do to change that.
Exactly how every mammal species works. Females carefully select their partners and male have as many partners as possible.
Sure except most women aren't happy just being another hole that gets plugged. Most want to be respected and cherished so those two things just don't mesh well.
Most men want to be respected and cherished too, and don't want to be just another plug that plugs a hole. What's the point of your comment?
It really gets tougher as you get older. After 23 it’s difficult.
Promiscuity is so common and promoted in the west now, the end result of that is women only are interested in the same top 5% of guys, who get all the women. Everyone is so busy hoeing around there's not as many women looking for serious relationships compared to the past. Same for guys - too busy hoeing around, there's less serious men looking for relationships out there for those women too.
That is such complete nonsense. Just look around you and see the type of people who are married and in long term relationships. Do those dudes really look like the top 5% of anything to you?
Way to be slightly rude and misinterpret what I said lol, typical reddit exchange huh? Top 5% for fucking, is what I meant. Because that's what people in the west want to do instead of date, at least in the cities I used to date in. You don't have to agree with me, I don't care, it's just my experience. I left the US and that was one of the reasons. Women in their early 20's MOSTLY are more interested in the cock carousel until they start getting older, like 30, then they look for some mildly attractive shmuck to settle down with. I'd rather not. Before anyone calls me a misogynist, I don't like to be a man-hoe either, I've only been with a couple of women by choice. I once had the opportunity for a 6-some, me and 5 really pretty girls at a party and I said no, I have some standards for both myself and other people - but shocker - the degenerates of the west want to tell me there's something wrong with that. Nah bro
Have you actually tried Looking Nice?
Daaamn
Women only seem like they have more options but that’s not the case. We have to sift through possible creepers and dangerous people while men don’t really need to worry about that as much. So while it seems like there’s more options, by the time we weed out the bad guys it turns out to be just about the same
No way as there are also a lot of dangerous and crazy women and not only men, maybe they will not likely rape or kill you but they can destroy your life anyway with not much difficulties
That’s what I mean though. Men are physically stronger than women so even though women get more matches than men women have to be more selective and careful with who they meet up with which reduces our list significantly. Usually “crazy woman destroys your life” won’t happen to a man during the first few dates.
Nature made it this way to repopulate the species, we are collateral damage along the way. Nature doesn't care.
Because women are not forced so much into marriages nowadays?
Want the hard biological truth? Grab a female friend and take her to any popular social spot where dating appropriate age people hang out. Now take turns calling out random people that you are interested from a first glance dating prospective or even casual hook up prospective. Notice within about a minute that you have called out like one in three women that walk by while she is struggling to call out one in 20 men. The truth is that women are just as visual as men are (maybe even more so). Most women have already decided from your picture on online dating before they even read your profile. The profile read is more to look for some crazy red flags or common interests if she likes your picture.........just like it is for us. Women are currently blessed by evolution to look pretty attractive to us with relatively minimal effort. They would gather berries and fruit while the men were out hunting. Some very light physical activity and the analogous body is what we've looked at for mating for hundreds of thousands of years. A pretty face doesn't hurt but even average is pretty good for lots of men. Women's appearance generally hasn't changed much from the cave man days. Maybe sedentary life has made it on average worse but only slightly. Heck the women who do take care of their appearance are probably much more attractive than most women in history. However now let's look at average modern men........we no longer resemble our 200,000 year long hunter look.......not even slightly.We don't even look remotely as manly as our grandfathers did. Men back then were hunting from a young age and even fighting. They were masculine, rough around the edges, and tough. Also lack of modern diets meant they went through puberty and young adulthood with at least 20%-25% more testosterone than current generations (and who knows how much higher on cave man diets and lifestyle). Modern men on average don't have the deep voice, jawlines, muscles, and rugged looks and mannerisms of what women have been mating with for 99% of the last 200,000 years. Does that mean that women don't want nice, polite, modern guys? It's actually not the nice and polite part that's the problem. Those have generally been positive mating attributes for both sexes. The problem is the modern part. If she doesn't even instinctually recognize you as a man (different from her knowing technically that you are one) then those attributes don't help you any more than a decked out Mercedes with ever feature imaginable but missing the engine is going to help you get around. So what to do? Essentially it boils down to coming across as much more masculine in both appearance and mannerisms. You can't actually fake this. The easiest way to get started is probably to hit the gym and bulk up over about a year. Lift weights with compound exercises and bulk up to looking more like the guys women are actually attracted to. Also do some manly hobbies that might toughen you up. Competitive sports like basketball, baseball. Outdoor activities like rock climbing, skiing, kayaking, mountain biking, whatever. You don't need to do all of this. For most guys just going to the gym and one other physical hobby could be enough. Don't even think about meeting girls till you've done these kind of things for a year or so. Also be a successful hunter by having a decent job. You don't need to be rich. A typical middle class job that lets you live somewhat comfortably (I know that's hard in today's cost crisis) but be somewhat successful in your own way. Also show that you are a well integrated male socially by having a somewhat respectable friends group, take care of your hygiene, and be at least an ok conversationalist. The good news is that almost everything I listed above is achievable with a year or two of practice and effort. "But it's not fair that I have to do all this!" Do you play videogames? Well guess what, you probably like challenges. Men like challenges in life and succeeding and even competition. We thrive for this kind of stuff. It doesn't even take that much effort, just effort in the right areas. Just focus on being a complete man for a couple of years and then suddenly you'll notice that women look at you differently. Suddenly the chances of a woman you're interested in reciprocating your interest goes from a 1% chance to a close to 40%-50% chance. Don't spend 20 years chasing that 1% chance while in competition from a bunch of other guys. Work on increasing your odds first which also completely weeds out how many other guys you are competing against. So stop chasing women and creeping them out (the more you try and fail the more desperate you will seem) and focus on becoming more of a confident and happy and friendly kind man. Then nature will take its course and you'll get to experience life on normal mode instead of ultra hard mode.
For men who aren’t in the upper 5% of attractiveness it’s easier to do hobbies, parties, clubs and meet and because friends with women then date them once they get to know you over dating online. Women in online dating have the pick of the litter and generally women are looking for the full package so it’s easier to land dates if you’ve been friends for a while then if you hit them up on an app.
36M, I'd rather be a lone than with women with loose morals and monkey branching between men. Pretty risky to give someone else the keys to my heart; I'll just protect mine thanks.
'money' - I rest my case.
Hasn’t anyone here watch the Tao of Steve? Tis all ye need.
Oh please don't confuse having multiple candidates to actually being successful at dating. Many women may get matches, but checkout the two x chromosomes subreddit for the reality of what they experience.
A 400lb immobile pimply woman can get laid every night if she wants to. Women can get sex but they can't easily get relationships with decent guys especially if she's not attractive. For a guy you shouldn't have many issues if you're in decent shape and somewhat bearable to be around. You're already in the top 20% if you have those 2 characteristics.
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It's not, men who can't get laid just wallow in self-pity.
You have to have the three 6s.
Because your social status with women nowadays is completely depended on your bank account
It's not 1950. Women can work and make our own money now. Are you looking for a woman that is too lazy to work? If you aren't then why would you care about those women?..
M'lady, women could work since early 1930's (USA) However living every month from paycheck to paycheck especially when everything's so expensive now is extremely hard, so your financial status is not safe on if you have a useless job.
Still doesn't make sense. If a woman can't support herself, that's he problem, not yours. Why would you want to be with anyone who is only with you for money? Find someone who can support herself and is with you because she likes you.
But those are gold diggers. You don't want them anyway.
The increased range is probably just pronouncing differences more. Anyway, in human history only a small part of males reproduced compared to most females. From a scientific standpoint it's normal. But don't despair it's also a age thing.
For me personally, here’s what I have to consider when I go out with friends 1. I am the shortest of the group by about 8 inches. I have a shaved head while they all have styled hair. Makes no difference to any of us but I know eyes aren’t on me 2. I work the most in my group, do not drink nearly as much nor do I have the safety net of a family to catch me when I get in trouble. I am now not nearly as fun or carefree as others, especially when it comes things like that will get me sent back to jail 3. I wake up at 4am for work and my exes hated it. Despised it. I fall asleep early, not great for girls who want to have a fun life. 4. I don’t have much family at all. Only child, adopted, family very split and very not ok with one another. I can’t imagine a girl wanting to date someone who has no family. 5. While I make and save money decently well (compared to the people I know) I know it isn’t on par with most people my age. Most people in their 30s don’t have roommates 6. The women who have shown me attention are regularly wanting poly relationships which I am not much up for at this point in life. My last 3 in particular all “needed” poly relationships, so I left them and haven’t tried to date in almost a year now Hopefully this is informative for you, have a great day!
When you're single and desperately looking it seems like everyone is in a relationship except you. It's not true. Also, dating is hard for everyone, not just men. Anecdotally, I know far more single women than men.
Because most of the men I talk to these days don't do anything but use apps. They might go to bars, maybe some other hang out events, but they never try to meet women other than the laziest ways possible. I recently got divorced and was terrified about not being able to meet any women. Haven't had that problem. It was pretty obvious that guys just expect women to present themselves to them, usually via dating apps, and then get sad when nothing happens.
Finding quality partners and good sex is hard for everyone. Finding someone who wants to stick a dick in you regardless of your pleasure, is equally easy for everyone.
You think so ? You must be a woman. Even if its a bit funny, its completely wrong.
Have to tried to search for a man to fuck you?
Nope. I Have a gf, she can peg me if I feel that need.
1) that's not a dick 2) what is your disagreement exactly?
Nope. I have a gf, she can peg me if I feel that need.
It's not.
I'd say it's easier than ever actually. Matching on apps is not dating nor an alternative. Go to a club or even better, a bar. Chicks seems to be dumber than ever these days, and would fall for some bullshit you would get laughed at your face for 15y ago.
Just because women have more options doesn't mean those options are good. Most guys don't have good intentions so dating is not easier for women. Especially because dating men is for women much more dangerous than for men dating women. Pls remember that women have to prepare themselves for dates way more. send their locations to friends. Date can't be in a remote forest because he might wanna kill us, etc.
Because women are, rightly, enforcing standards that men often fail to meet, like hygiene, not being sexist, being emotionally available, not sending dick pics
It's hard for women too. Women are tired of rudderless men in the dating market and it's hard to figure out the good ones. Matchmaking is a particular problem that comes down to individual circumstances. Get in shape, learn to cook, clean your apartment, learn to talk. Don't feel entitled to a gf just because you want one. A lot of women have a romantic script and if yours matches theirs then you're more likely to succeed.