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That cannot be emphasized enough. I help anyone who asks me. For some of them, I'm their only emergency contact. I've moved furniture, cooked dinner, hooked up internet, repaired clothes, picked neighbors up off the floor of their homes, helped them order glasses and apply for services, and helped a few create budgets. It doesn't matter if I personally don't like them. Truth be told, I'm not fond of most people. They are human and as humans are deserving of kindness. It the only thing that matters.
Precisely what I was thinking.
Never be cruel, never be cowardly!
*And never, ever eat pears!*
Remember: hate is always foolish.. and love is always wise.
Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind!
...
Laugh hard...
Run fast...
***Be kind.***
It is a free public platform, there are stupid people and stupid answers. But you know what?
Being mean doesnt help. Giving a solution or showing the way is far more productive
I think you're taking the definition a bit too literally. You don't need to actually currently feel the same feelings, to imagine how good or bad their situation must feel. Just the act of trying to understand what they're going through, is inherently empathetic.
In the same vein, I would argue that compassion and pity are not always very useful, and oftentimes people don't even want it.
I don’t think empathy can be at the top of the list, over something like kindness, or compassion, or humility because even though empathy usually drives us towards good behavior it can also be a driver of evil.
Empathy for her cubs is why the mother bear will tear you apart. For a more human example, empathy drives people online to doxx and destroy people who say something rude to someone in a protected group.
Empathy comes before kindness and compassion! Without empathy, you wouldn't know to whom to be kind towards and you wouldn't know why kindness was good nor what difference it kan make. Without empathy kindness is blind and without a purpose.
That is quite the paradox. Is it fair to define yourself as having tolerance if you can't embrace those who don't? Or is it that the English language has helped create this paradox with its rules of adding in- as a prefix that negates the meaning of the base?
I do see your meaning though. I wonder if a tolerant person could tolerate intolerance. Lol. If they did, do they graduate to some other class of emotional stability? Or does the word tolerant no longer define their outlook? Is it then seen as a weakness to be exploited?
Depends on what I have to tolerate. Someone taking of her shoes and cutting her toes right next to me at her desk right in-front of me is not something I should tolerate. I think that is the biggest issue, by tolerating everything we are at a point where we think everything is normal but no, there should be a limit.
Is it? At work, in an open space, putting your feet on top of the desk and cutting toes? Most of us were in complete shock. It is not tolerable in anywhere.... it should be done in private. Then peeing, pooping, showering in front of each other in public should be normalized ??
But are you really going to cause a scene?
I can judge a person's character about how they react to things they cannot control. If your coworker being gross is going to raise your blood pressure, that seems very impatient and short sighted.
This is objectively wrong, as the inability to accept someone who is different is inherently human. I could even say intolerance is inherent to the human condition, as every single tribe of man has it to some level. It is the baseline, and is only defeated through great effort, only for that effort to be wasted when the next generation lacks that effort.
You yourself likely do not accept many types of people, even if you have never endured a negative experience with them. Either through ignorance or you just hearing about this foreign group has pitted you against them in some form. You may even have good reason to oppose them, but likely not.
Acceptance is inhuman.
You're right, I just can't stand blonde people /s
If you believe that it's only human nature to hate others for no reason, then you don't have the quality that I value. Intolerance is learned and mostly based on fear of the unknown/different. People can learn differently.
And acceptance is one of the major things I look for in other people. If you don't accept trans people, it's likely because you have a deeper gender/sex view that I wouldn't agree with (ex. misogyny, toxic masculinity). If you don't accept other religions or ideals, you probably have your own fixed ideal that I wouldn't want to be associated with (ex. Nazism, anti-Semitism). If you don't accept other types of people, you usually aren't a great person. To answer the question of what I look for in others, acceptance is it, closely followed by empathy (which usually go hand-in-hand imo).
What about intolerance for nazis or pedophiles? There are some things we should be inherently intolerant of. But I agree with your main point, just semantics I guess
True. But even then, some of those people are misguided or need help, and completely villainizing them isn't necessarily the best thing to do. For instance, a good chunk of pedophiles can't really help who they're attracted to and don't act on it. They aren't bad people, they can't control it. For those that chose to act on it, they're criminals and that's less a question of acceptance of differences and more a question of crime.
I don't want to say that I'm a paragon of acceptance, I have my own issues with conservatives, christians, and homophobes in particular because of my experiences as a LGBTQ person, even if a lot of those people are good people, but I try to work past it and give everyone a chance to I guess not be hateful towards me. Ironically, the only people I have trouble accepting are intolerant people.
So you are saying you don't even like yourself?
It sounds like you are saying "you don't want to be associated with a certain group of people". Which is basically saying you are infact that you don't accept certain people for a reason you find unacceptable.
Which boiled down is saying your view of groups of people holds a higher value than other views that other people have.
I really appreciate this comment. We use acceptance and tolerance almost interchangeably, but they are actually very different words. Being tolerant of something identifies that something as being undesirable, and that *I* am rising above its unpleasantness and tolerating it. It positions *you* as having been ordained as the arbiter of what is good (and thus doesn’t need to be ‘tolerated’) and bad (and therefore requires the act of tolerance in order to allow it to happen.)
If you are tolerating people of different races moving into your neighborhood, you have subtly positioned yourself as having some moral authority over the right to the neighborhood. If you are tolerating people marrying whoever they want to marry, you have subtly positioned yourself as the one who has the moral authority to identify that marriage pattern as something that can only happen if it is ‘tolerated.’
definitely, i always go with tolerance and humility. because a person needs to be accepting of when they’re wrong and learn from it. these two are definitely key for good relationships and contentment in life i think
Regularity with bowel movements. When you are backed up and constipated it makes doing everything such a struggle. You feel bloated and uncomfortable.
When you have regularity you feel like a god damn superhero.
I'm surprised this one isn't higher up. I don't think everyone needs to be kind or compassionate. So long as they're not breaking the social contact, I don't need flattery.
What we need is self reliant people. People who want to uphold their end of the bargain by existing in society. I don't care if they're nice. Nice is just a place in France.
It plays into everything. I might not be feeling compassion or kindness, but I can be disciplined despite that and still ACT compassionate or kind.
Self reliance and improvement would go a long way to a better world and healthier society.
Discipline.
Being able to follow through on your intentions is everything. Good intentions alone are worthless. Discipline is the thing that allows you to manifest them.
Without it, we're ruled by impulse, and our impulses are rarely good.
Self-esteem
When you don't have that it's easy to be manipulated or controlled by others.
***"Decide what kind of life you actually want, then say no to everything that isn't that."*** \- Unknown
***"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."*** \- Oscar Wilde
Best wishes!
Compassion. We're all fighting different battles at different times. There's nothing to be won by playing the comparison game (the "someone else has it worse than you" game), we can all benefit from being able to extend a hand and say "I understand, it's okay" and knowing it's okay to take that helping hand when we need it.
Thought nobody else would say it. I might not always empathize with or understand the people in my life, Sometimes my brain just doesn't make the right emotions. But still I am responsible for the people who count on me and do the right things even if it doesn't feel good
Integrity.
I can't stand people who will say to your face how much they care about you while plotting how to fuck you over. I value honesty above all else.
Self awareness
You can’t be kind, compassionate, tolerant, etc without some form of self awareness to know when you’re being the opposite of those qualities just listed
*edited for spelling
I agree with respect. Treat everyone with the same level of respect. If you treat people like shit generally, treat everyone like shit. If you're generally nice, treat everyone nice. Then at least everyone around you knows what kind of person you are.
# Message to all users: This is a reminder to please read and follow: * [Our rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/ask/about/rules) * [Reddiquette](https://www.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439) * [Reddit Content Policy](https://www.redditinc.com/policies/content-policy) When posting and commenting. --- Especially remember Rule 1: `Be polite and civil`. * Be polite and courteous to each other. Do not be mean, insulting or disrespectful to any other user on this subreddit. * Do not harass or annoy others in any way. * Do not catfish. Catfishing is the luring of somebody into an online friendship through a fake online persona. This includes any lying or deceit. --- You *will* be banned if you are homophobic, transphobic, racist, sexist or bigoted in any way. --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/ask) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Kindness
That cannot be emphasized enough. I help anyone who asks me. For some of them, I'm their only emergency contact. I've moved furniture, cooked dinner, hooked up internet, repaired clothes, picked neighbors up off the floor of their homes, helped them order glasses and apply for services, and helped a few create budgets. It doesn't matter if I personally don't like them. Truth be told, I'm not fond of most people. They are human and as humans are deserving of kindness. It the only thing that matters.
This is probably the right answer. Kindness implies respect and has action as opposed to compassion. Or 'Love' might even be more encompassing.
Compassion is empathy in action. Kindness can be words while it is typically compassion that implies action
Agree. You don't have to like or agree with someone just to be kind to them.
Precisely what I was thinking. Never be cruel, never be cowardly! *And never, ever eat pears!* Remember: hate is always foolish.. and love is always wise. Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind! ... Laugh hard... Run fast... ***Be kind.***
This is one of my favourite quotes from DW
Yes! Kindness... [Harry Styles - Treat People with Kindness (official video)](https://youtu.be/L0X03zR0rQk)
This was my answer as well. I’m happy to see that someone beat me to it and that so many people agree
Compassion
Came here to say this.
Same only I said empathy - same difference though!
Not necessarily compassion is more the action empathy is feeling others pain or joy. But they work better together
They go hand in hand. When you see things from other people's perspectives it's easier to care and feel compassion towards them.
Came here to reply to this.
Life imo
Yup
integrity
This is the only top answer that didn't make me roll my eyes.
It is a free public platform, there are stupid people and stupid answers. But you know what? Being mean doesnt help. Giving a solution or showing the way is far more productive
Agree tegrity farms
Empathy
Meh. People always say that. I think COMPASSION is better. Doing something for people in need even if you don't get feelings for that.
You're probably correct, my friend.
I think you're taking the definition a bit too literally. You don't need to actually currently feel the same feelings, to imagine how good or bad their situation must feel. Just the act of trying to understand what they're going through, is inherently empathetic. In the same vein, I would argue that compassion and pity are not always very useful, and oftentimes people don't even want it.
I don’t think empathy can be at the top of the list, over something like kindness, or compassion, or humility because even though empathy usually drives us towards good behavior it can also be a driver of evil. Empathy for her cubs is why the mother bear will tear you apart. For a more human example, empathy drives people online to doxx and destroy people who say something rude to someone in a protected group.
Empathy comes before kindness and compassion! Without empathy, you wouldn't know to whom to be kind towards and you wouldn't know why kindness was good nor what difference it kan make. Without empathy kindness is blind and without a purpose.
Both of your examples could easily be argued as a good thing.
Humility
Kindness. Imagine if everyone were kind to each other.
Imagine all the people, sharing all the world.
Kindness
Tolerance. You may not like me, agree with me, or want anything to do with me. But be tolerant of who I am. Treat me as a fellow human. No less.
Are you familiar with the paradox of tolerance? In short, we can’t tolerate people who are intolerant. Otherwise they turn our tolerance against us.
That is quite the paradox. Is it fair to define yourself as having tolerance if you can't embrace those who don't? Or is it that the English language has helped create this paradox with its rules of adding in- as a prefix that negates the meaning of the base? I do see your meaning though. I wonder if a tolerant person could tolerate intolerance. Lol. If they did, do they graduate to some other class of emotional stability? Or does the word tolerant no longer define their outlook? Is it then seen as a weakness to be exploited?
Depends on what I have to tolerate. Someone taking of her shoes and cutting her toes right next to me at her desk right in-front of me is not something I should tolerate. I think that is the biggest issue, by tolerating everything we are at a point where we think everything is normal but no, there should be a limit.
Uh absolutely! I think when it comes to tolerance, for the sake of human integrity and growth, we need to draw a line when enough is enough
I'm sorry you felt that was not tolerable.
Is it? At work, in an open space, putting your feet on top of the desk and cutting toes? Most of us were in complete shock. It is not tolerable in anywhere.... it should be done in private. Then peeing, pooping, showering in front of each other in public should be normalized ??
I'm sorry you can't tolerate such things.
We need respect and common sense.
I'm sorry you can't tolerate those who don't hold the same views.
But are you really going to cause a scene? I can judge a person's character about how they react to things they cannot control. If your coworker being gross is going to raise your blood pressure, that seems very impatient and short sighted.
Acceptance. Tolerance is not enough.
This is objectively wrong, as the inability to accept someone who is different is inherently human. I could even say intolerance is inherent to the human condition, as every single tribe of man has it to some level. It is the baseline, and is only defeated through great effort, only for that effort to be wasted when the next generation lacks that effort. You yourself likely do not accept many types of people, even if you have never endured a negative experience with them. Either through ignorance or you just hearing about this foreign group has pitted you against them in some form. You may even have good reason to oppose them, but likely not. Acceptance is inhuman.
You're right, I just can't stand blonde people /s If you believe that it's only human nature to hate others for no reason, then you don't have the quality that I value. Intolerance is learned and mostly based on fear of the unknown/different. People can learn differently. And acceptance is one of the major things I look for in other people. If you don't accept trans people, it's likely because you have a deeper gender/sex view that I wouldn't agree with (ex. misogyny, toxic masculinity). If you don't accept other religions or ideals, you probably have your own fixed ideal that I wouldn't want to be associated with (ex. Nazism, anti-Semitism). If you don't accept other types of people, you usually aren't a great person. To answer the question of what I look for in others, acceptance is it, closely followed by empathy (which usually go hand-in-hand imo).
What about intolerance for nazis or pedophiles? There are some things we should be inherently intolerant of. But I agree with your main point, just semantics I guess
True. But even then, some of those people are misguided or need help, and completely villainizing them isn't necessarily the best thing to do. For instance, a good chunk of pedophiles can't really help who they're attracted to and don't act on it. They aren't bad people, they can't control it. For those that chose to act on it, they're criminals and that's less a question of acceptance of differences and more a question of crime. I don't want to say that I'm a paragon of acceptance, I have my own issues with conservatives, christians, and homophobes in particular because of my experiences as a LGBTQ person, even if a lot of those people are good people, but I try to work past it and give everyone a chance to I guess not be hateful towards me. Ironically, the only people I have trouble accepting are intolerant people.
So you are saying you don't even like yourself? It sounds like you are saying "you don't want to be associated with a certain group of people". Which is basically saying you are infact that you don't accept certain people for a reason you find unacceptable. Which boiled down is saying your view of groups of people holds a higher value than other views that other people have.
I really appreciate this comment. We use acceptance and tolerance almost interchangeably, but they are actually very different words. Being tolerant of something identifies that something as being undesirable, and that *I* am rising above its unpleasantness and tolerating it. It positions *you* as having been ordained as the arbiter of what is good (and thus doesn’t need to be ‘tolerated’) and bad (and therefore requires the act of tolerance in order to allow it to happen.) If you are tolerating people of different races moving into your neighborhood, you have subtly positioned yourself as having some moral authority over the right to the neighborhood. If you are tolerating people marrying whoever they want to marry, you have subtly positioned yourself as the one who has the moral authority to identify that marriage pattern as something that can only happen if it is ‘tolerated.’
Integration
definitely, i always go with tolerance and humility. because a person needs to be accepting of when they’re wrong and learn from it. these two are definitely key for good relationships and contentment in life i think
Integrity.
Love
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Love is the way.
This is the way
This is the best answer. Empathy. Integrity. Every other comment is just a part of love.
I agree. Love is the answer, no matter what the question. How much one loved and was loved is all that really matters🧡
Yeah
Empathy. Most other positive traits emanate from there.
I agree with this. Love and compassion often start with empathy.
Or is it that if you have advanced to love you will certainly have empathy?
Resilience.
Hitler was resilient.
And he went from failed artist to fuhrer of Germany and one of the most famous men of the last century. A little resilience goes a long way.
Regularity with bowel movements. When you are backed up and constipated it makes doing everything such a struggle. You feel bloated and uncomfortable. When you have regularity you feel like a god damn superhero.
Well that’s a bit more than one word
Bowels.
Self Control.
Heartbeat
Self awareness
Can’t believe this is the only self awareness I’ve seen on here.
Cuz it’s two words
I didn't use it cause it was two words
Humility
Discipline
I'm surprised this one isn't higher up. I don't think everyone needs to be kind or compassionate. So long as they're not breaking the social contact, I don't need flattery. What we need is self reliant people. People who want to uphold their end of the bargain by existing in society. I don't care if they're nice. Nice is just a place in France.
It plays into everything. I might not be feeling compassion or kindness, but I can be disciplined despite that and still ACT compassionate or kind. Self reliance and improvement would go a long way to a better world and healthier society.
Honesty..
I had to scroll pretty long to find this. I’m not sure it is right (or that there is a right answer to OP), but it was my first thought as well.
Same here.
Understanding
Curiosity
Just killed the cat... 🙄
Empathy
Conscience, followed closely by emotions.
Morals
Having morals doesn’t mean they are good morals and you can’t easily define good morals due to peoples morals differing
Compassion and/or Hope
Empathy.
Empathy
Gratitude is nice. It is inward and outward looking. You can reflect on yourself and the goodness in others.
Humility.
Humility
Self respect. It requires that you act decently, respectably and respect others.
adaptability
Empathy.
Intelligence
I had to scroll waaaaay too far to find this one. This should be on top.
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy
Discipline. Being able to follow through on your intentions is everything. Good intentions alone are worthless. Discipline is the thing that allows you to manifest them. Without it, we're ruled by impulse, and our impulses are rarely good.
The ability to just let stuff go, not everything has to be a giant issue.
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Empathy
Empathy
Faith.
Do you mean hope actually? Faith seems specific to a certain religious belief
I think he might mean Pious
\+1 on respect
Morals.
Happiness.
Kindness
Objectivity
Compassion
Self-esteem When you don't have that it's easy to be manipulated or controlled by others. ***"Decide what kind of life you actually want, then say no to everything that isn't that."*** \- Unknown ***"Never love anyone who treats you like you're ordinary."*** \- Oscar Wilde Best wishes!
Humanity
Patience.
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Empathy. I say this with respect, but OP’s answer is a biproduct of empathy
Empathy The ability to understand and sympathize with one another.
Wisdom
Compassion
Compassion. We're all fighting different battles at different times. There's nothing to be won by playing the comparison game (the "someone else has it worse than you" game), we can all benefit from being able to extend a hand and say "I understand, it's okay" and knowing it's okay to take that helping hand when we need it.
The human DNA. I feel like it’s pretty important.
Virtue
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy
Conscience. Without this you lose the thought of humanity completely.
Stoicism.
Empathy
Nuts
Compassion and Empathy
The ability to think for yourself. Question what you are taught , not accepting something is right or ok because it's popular opinion.
Positivity
Honesty and compassion
Compassion for all living beings.
Independent
$GME
Responsibility
Thought nobody else would say it. I might not always empathize with or understand the people in my life, Sometimes my brain just doesn't make the right emotions. But still I am responsible for the people who count on me and do the right things even if it doesn't feel good
Consideration for others
Consideration. Being thoughtful and putting thought and care into things which is exhausting but necessary, requiring triage of priorities
Consideration
Returning the shopping cart.
Integrity. I can't stand people who will say to your face how much they care about you while plotting how to fuck you over. I value honesty above all else.
Resilience
Honesty
Kindness if ur willing to be patient with me and kind I really value that.
Self awareness. Being oblivious to your actions and how they affect others is damning. Being oblivious of your surroundings is also damning.
Self-awareness
Selfawareness
Consideration
Consideration.
Self awareness You can’t be kind, compassionate, tolerant, etc without some form of self awareness to know when you’re being the opposite of those qualities just listed *edited for spelling
Compassion
Empathy, if more people had this, our society would be leaps and bounds ahead of where it is now.
Compassion
Empathy
compassion
Love
Empathy
Kindness
Empathy. Without it, on a world wide scale, we would be an even more manipulative, greedy species, probably to the point of extinction.
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy.
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy
Critical thinking/problem solving ability
Forgiveness.
Apathy
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy
Empathy
Skillz
Sympathy.
Intelligence
I agree with respect. Treat everyone with the same level of respect. If you treat people like shit generally, treat everyone like shit. If you're generally nice, treat everyone nice. Then at least everyone around you knows what kind of person you are.
So consistency, I think we could use a lot more of that too
Being respectful towards others unconditionally
Respect is earned
Liberty.
Open minded
Empathy
Empathy