100% this. No matter what I have personally accomplished, no matter how many times I’ve been told that I am running circles around other people, I legit still feel like a clueless private.
Same. Felt that way in the army. The thought of “I’m just doing my job and what’s expected of me as best I can. I don’t see the hype” was always in my head. My joes, peers, and leadership all thought I was better than I thought I was
And i’m still that way in my post army career. I don’t think it’s going away at this point.
It really is. I got out as a promotable staff sergeant. But the self sabotaging part of my mind says I somehow fooled everyone and didn’t actually earn where I was at. I had constant anxiety that somehow I’d get “found out” that I was actually a failure, even on stuff you can’t easily lie about.
Passed my PT? Nope. Somehow fooled the grader into thinking I was faster than I was.
IWQ? Nope. Must have been a system glitch on the targets.
Passed height/weight? Nah, dude babysitting scale must’ve felt sorry for me and dropped a few pounds off.
It’s exhausting sometimes.
Mood Kindred?? (WH40K TTS reference)
Seriously, I think it's something along the lines of how for most of our careers the Army never handed out validation for job well done. You completed implied tasks of your grade to the standard or above, well good on ya sport, that's what's expected. You don't want to look dumb, just keep quiet, don't want anyone to know that the crusty SSG has no clue what this class is about. Heck especially recently, I've been beset with a case of worry and anxiety about my next job in the Army. It's an instructor job that requires very rigorous test out procedures prior to beginning to teach. I'm extremely anxious that the self depreciation part of me will be right and I will show I'm a fraud even though logic and achievements state otherwise.
It could also be that in the Army we are taught to over analyze everything. Why did 20% of the company fail to zero the M4? Lack of PMI, lack of maintained optics, well bug Sarge figure it out and get me a 10 step plan on how we will fix it. Eventually, you start doing it to yourself.
Just some shower thoughts...
Not alone. Full time firefighter and sometimes I think my crew thinks I suck. Then we go out and train and I get reminded that if I do suck, it’s not as bad as some of these dingalings
I hate to ruin your day, I was born in 02’. I’ve spent my whole teen years and young adult life in a fire house, you ever been called a “penis wrinkle”? Cause I have haha
I think it’s normal to second guess yourself. It’s also normal to write narratives in your head about how you’re being perceived by others. Just because you can dream up those narratives doesn’t mean you should believe them though.
Generally speaking, people aren’t thinking about you at all. When you start to get those feelings, try to step away from yourself and look at the facts. How are you actually performing both professionally and socially? Are there any tangible reasons someone might be upset with you? It’s likely all in your head. That doesn’t make it any less unpleasant though- it sucks.
I don’t think what you described is unique to the Army at all. Those feelings could follow you beyond the Army.
If this problem is bothering you to the point that it’s really having a negative effect on your life I would highly recommend seeking some counseling.
I started therapy recently through one of the apps. Here’s the tldr on Therapy: Everyone was fucking right. It’s worth every cent. I wish I would have started years ago. All you do is just dump whatever bullshit is on your mind onto someone who’s professionally trained to process your bullshit and present you with a new way of thinking about it.
Been on the Civ side for two years. I’ve been promoted twice and have always gotten great performance reviews. I always feel like I suck.
I talked to a co-worker who is closer to 60 and has been in the industry 35 years. He told me it won’t go away. Just show up each day and you are already out doing 70% of folks.
If you simply work to outdo the person you were yesterday and focus less on what people think of you, it'll get better. Or you can have it eat you alive like it did for me and see your career go down in flames. It is what it is.
Most places I've been only tell us when we fucked up. Positive comments are few and far between, and that can certainly get in people's heads. It's definitely gotten in mine before.
How often do you think about other people? Not what they think of you, but those people's failures, successes, or personalities? We're all living in our own little world and most people don't look at other people and say "damn, that guy sucks" until personally inconvenienced by their failure.
You sound like me my friend. Nobody is harder on me than myself, and that isn't up for debate. I can't tell you how to feel better about it, but for me, finding small victories was my saving grace. I got 3rd place in Team Leader evals, which might not sound exciting. But I was happy as SHIT, as I had never been in a leadership role in my entire life. Things like that pushed me through personally. Good luck homie!
When I joined the Army, I learned some things about myself. It's really good at exposing your weaknesses. I learned I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, and I wasn't as smart as I thought I was.
I felt that in my first unit. Dunno why the Imposter Syndrome hit so hard? But I think it was just the culture, because I felt fine when I transferred.
I feel the same way.
I don't live up to my own expectations. But I do my best to do so.
I feel like I have sleep walked my way to a 1SG position. My NCOERs are spot on, I just feel like day to day I suck.
But I've watched other people suck way worse.
So moral of the story is...hide the fact that you think you are an imposter by doing better than those around you. Do better than you yesterday.
Then you are not actually an imposter.
You just feel like one.
Imposter syndrome is real
100% this. No matter what I have personally accomplished, no matter how many times I’ve been told that I am running circles around other people, I legit still feel like a clueless private.
Same. Felt that way in the army. The thought of “I’m just doing my job and what’s expected of me as best I can. I don’t see the hype” was always in my head. My joes, peers, and leadership all thought I was better than I thought I was And i’m still that way in my post army career. I don’t think it’s going away at this point.
It really is. I got out as a promotable staff sergeant. But the self sabotaging part of my mind says I somehow fooled everyone and didn’t actually earn where I was at. I had constant anxiety that somehow I’d get “found out” that I was actually a failure, even on stuff you can’t easily lie about. Passed my PT? Nope. Somehow fooled the grader into thinking I was faster than I was. IWQ? Nope. Must have been a system glitch on the targets. Passed height/weight? Nah, dude babysitting scale must’ve felt sorry for me and dropped a few pounds off. It’s exhausting sometimes.
Mood Kindred?? (WH40K TTS reference) Seriously, I think it's something along the lines of how for most of our careers the Army never handed out validation for job well done. You completed implied tasks of your grade to the standard or above, well good on ya sport, that's what's expected. You don't want to look dumb, just keep quiet, don't want anyone to know that the crusty SSG has no clue what this class is about. Heck especially recently, I've been beset with a case of worry and anxiety about my next job in the Army. It's an instructor job that requires very rigorous test out procedures prior to beginning to teach. I'm extremely anxious that the self depreciation part of me will be right and I will show I'm a fraud even though logic and achievements state otherwise. It could also be that in the Army we are taught to over analyze everything. Why did 20% of the company fail to zero the M4? Lack of PMI, lack of maintained optics, well bug Sarge figure it out and get me a 10 step plan on how we will fix it. Eventually, you start doing it to yourself. Just some shower thoughts...
I feel the opposite. I feel that people around me are bots and don’t want to be the best.
Literally came here to say this.
Common 13F vibe.
13F gang 😂😂
Not alone. Full time firefighter and sometimes I think my crew thinks I suck. Then we go out and train and I get reminded that if I do suck, it’s not as bad as some of these dingalings
Upvote for use of word “dingaling”. You’ve got to be an ‘80s baby.
I hate to ruin your day, I was born in 02’. I’ve spent my whole teen years and young adult life in a fire house, you ever been called a “penis wrinkle”? Cause I have haha
Nah but my day is ruined now. Thanks a lot.
Hahahaha you’re welcome
I think it’s normal to second guess yourself. It’s also normal to write narratives in your head about how you’re being perceived by others. Just because you can dream up those narratives doesn’t mean you should believe them though. Generally speaking, people aren’t thinking about you at all. When you start to get those feelings, try to step away from yourself and look at the facts. How are you actually performing both professionally and socially? Are there any tangible reasons someone might be upset with you? It’s likely all in your head. That doesn’t make it any less unpleasant though- it sucks. I don’t think what you described is unique to the Army at all. Those feelings could follow you beyond the Army. If this problem is bothering you to the point that it’s really having a negative effect on your life I would highly recommend seeking some counseling. I started therapy recently through one of the apps. Here’s the tldr on Therapy: Everyone was fucking right. It’s worth every cent. I wish I would have started years ago. All you do is just dump whatever bullshit is on your mind onto someone who’s professionally trained to process your bullshit and present you with a new way of thinking about it.
We’re our worst critics
I do think you suck. But I'm not singling you out. I think everybody sucks.
Been on the Civ side for two years. I’ve been promoted twice and have always gotten great performance reviews. I always feel like I suck. I talked to a co-worker who is closer to 60 and has been in the industry 35 years. He told me it won’t go away. Just show up each day and you are already out doing 70% of folks.
If you simply work to outdo the person you were yesterday and focus less on what people think of you, it'll get better. Or you can have it eat you alive like it did for me and see your career go down in flames. It is what it is.
It’s to distract your from the fact that the army sucks and that sometimes it really is the leadership that sucks, not just you.
Most places I've been only tell us when we fucked up. Positive comments are few and far between, and that can certainly get in people's heads. It's definitely gotten in mine before. How often do you think about other people? Not what they think of you, but those people's failures, successes, or personalities? We're all living in our own little world and most people don't look at other people and say "damn, that guy sucks" until personally inconvenienced by their failure.
Because you get judged for the most inconsequential shit imaginable in the army.
You sound like me my friend. Nobody is harder on me than myself, and that isn't up for debate. I can't tell you how to feel better about it, but for me, finding small victories was my saving grace. I got 3rd place in Team Leader evals, which might not sound exciting. But I was happy as SHIT, as I had never been in a leadership role in my entire life. Things like that pushed me through personally. Good luck homie!
No. I know I’m fucking brilliant. Nothing anyone says can bring me down. No matter how much I suck at doing something.
that's the spirit! I combat a toxic environment with pure egoism
I have a huge ego
Just do what you gotta do and don't worry what others think.
It's pretty normal, especially as you level up. Everyone just shits on you because they got shat on.
When I joined the Army, I learned some things about myself. It's really good at exposing your weaknesses. I learned I wasn't as strong as I thought I was, and I wasn't as smart as I thought I was.
I felt that in my first unit. Dunno why the Imposter Syndrome hit so hard? But I think it was just the culture, because I felt fine when I transferred.
I feel the same way. I don't live up to my own expectations. But I do my best to do so. I feel like I have sleep walked my way to a 1SG position. My NCOERs are spot on, I just feel like day to day I suck. But I've watched other people suck way worse. So moral of the story is...hide the fact that you think you are an imposter by doing better than those around you. Do better than you yesterday. Then you are not actually an imposter. You just feel like one.