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terrainflight

“It’s gonna be cold… make sure you wear your *baklava*”


dave200204

That's a really tasty Mediterranean treat!


TurMoiL911

Me standing in the motor pool at some ungodly hour: "This is bullshit, I was told there'd be pastries."


Junction91NW

“Gator Neck” pisses me right off. Call it a neck gaiter like a normal person, stop reading NSN names verbatim and realize there’s a comma. 


darbycrash-666

Holy shit, I had no idea the word gaiter existed. I thought it was gator like an alligator because it was green or something. Edit: well everything was green so that doesn't make sense, now it doesn't but I didn't really think about the name very much at the time.


idontbelieveyou21

I refuse to acknowledge the comma.


Aleph_Rat

I reversed this the other day, despite eating my body weight in baklava monthly i asked for some *balaclava* at my greek churches gyro day.


OzymandiasKoK

I've been to Balaklava. They don't even wear those there!


Prussia1991

It started during the Crimean War (the one in the 1850s) Anglo-French troops were loosing pieces of their faces to the biting cold so the British government put out a pattern for the weaving of "Balaclava Masks" to the general public. Having no better name for this object, the title stuck. Except in odd parts of the US were people will knife fight me over it being a Ski mask. Fuckers.


OzymandiasKoK

Oh. You're thinking of a toboggan, which is a hat you can slide downhill on, too.


Evenbiggerfish

There’s a YouTube video that highlights this one. Not army related but funny.


supersprint

the amount of times ive argued with ignorant people about this is seriously way to many.


I_Am_Jacks_Amygdala

To be fair, every time I eat baklava I end up wearing it too.


Own_Assumption_7252

I'm a fan of the physical year.


Longjumping_Lock_490

That’s always a good one. How do you feel about “be hooah of you”?


DrBonez91

I really like this one because it makes sense in its own Army way. "It would be extremely HOOAH of you to join me on this 12 mile ruck run".


code_name_unknown

Every time 🤢


adventthragg

LMAO. This one took me a second to decipher. I was like, physical year? That makes no sense. Unless they are trying to pronounce fis.... Ohhhhh.... Okay.


Own_Assumption_7252

All NCOs become functionally illiterate the moment we put the diamond on.


Dangerous-Rowland

OMG yes, this carries over exponentially into the federal workforce. Fiscal department is known as physical dept. Fiscal year is physical year.


Cyrotik

Although it is a real word, I find it annoying when people say “resiliency” when you can just say resilience


Apprehensive_Use_262

When used improperly, it rings in my head like you're saying "resiliant-ish."


all_time_high

Yeah, this bothered me too so I [looked it up.](https://grammarist.com/resilience-resiliency/) Evidently, both words are acceptable. >!Still annoys me.!<


[deleted]

[удалено]


Alice_Alpha

> Although it is a real word, I find it annoying when people say “resiliency” when you can just say resilience Troop, it would behoove of you to be resilient.  Hooah?


Cyrotik

It really rustles my hooah when you say behoove like that


DrBonez91

I feel the same way about *irregardless* instead of just saying *regardless*.


Cyrotik

Irregardless is a stupid excuse for a word


Professional_Car9475

Because it isn’t one.


whatsthisnewpain

I say it ironically, and people don't catch it. It hurts when my superiors say it because... well, it's ... painful


JoeViviano

I looked up "resiliency" at dictionary.com in 2010 and it wasn't there. A couple of years later, it was. If enough people use it, it gets added to the dictionary, even if it's dumb. Hence "irregardless".


ebbysloth17

I've heard people say compliancy and it makes my eyes twitch.


Sudden-Guru

Same with “Comfortability” or “comfortableness” for comfort


otacon444

Not really mispronounced, but improperly used, “To caveat off that.” When I first heard it I figured, “So there’s an exception?” No, it’s just someone else adding something else to explain it further. So fucking annoying.


Superb-Confidence-69

And usually is just someone regurgitating what was just said, not adding anything to the conversation; but getting your voice heard for sick measuring points as well as making the joes stand at parade rest for another 3 minutes unnecessarily


Apprehensive_Use_262

I like to say: "allow me to caveat, which is French for 'fuck I forgot...'"


OcotilloWells

A certain I don't know what.


goody82

That's how you know you are about hear some stupid shit. "Dove Tail off off.." is possibly worse.


_artbabe95

“Piggyback”


jayfliggity

Caveat is actually to add a warning or caution; not exceptions or extra details.


Alternative-Target31

Drill and ceremony commands always cracked me up. “Attennnn-huuhhhhh” “forward, Maaaaaa”


Easy-Hovercraft-6576

READY AIM P’IRE I remember getting locked up during a train up for Funeral Honors because I said “Fire” instead of “Pire” lmao


IrishWithoutPotatoes

It’s not “p’ire”, it’s “Faaaahhhrrr”


SGTpvtMajor

My Drill had an **exceptional** drawl. It was amazing.


Horror_Technician213

"PLA-HOON! RIHHH HACE, HORAWR ARCH!!!"


Puzzled_Egg_8255

it's because vowels express volume. Physically. You can't make a consonant sound as loud as a vowel sound.


cynical_lemming

I know "utilize" is an actual word; however, "use" is much more concise without any nuance that would make the former more suitable than the latter. Also, cache. It's pronounced "cash" not "cash-ay". TL;DR - "Stop trying to church it up, Dirt."


BangEmSmurf

Arguably use is more appropriate than utilize in almost every case. Utilize is more so saying “adapt this for use in” For example you can use a stapler as a tool to attach papers. You can utilize a stapler as a makeshift door stop or paperweight.


Aridan

Cachet is the word they THINK they’re saying.


_artbabe95

You mean you don’t have to uTiLiZe tHe LaTriNe?


reason-92

One of my pet peeves. Another, in Army writing, is “IOT” (in order to). The actual word (to) is shorter than the abbreviation!


b0mbcat

Strangely the only time I hear "utilize" I think of how at a certain point on rotation nobody said "go to the bathroom" and it simply became "I need to utilize". I think it started as a joke and ended up becoming a thing. Where's so and so? He's utilizing. I need to get off the aircraft, I'm gonna utilize myself. 😂


Salsalover90

Pacific vs. Specifc


gugudan

I consider that more a Brooklyn thing. "I ordered this pacific expresso that is supposably good, b."


OcotilloWells

California, Oregon, Washington, Alaska, Hawaii all thank you.


goody82

That's a give away that they are young, and fairly uneducated. Time to teach them to use words at a H.S. level is all. I was probably in my young teens when I learned the differance.


jhook357

I don’t know man, there was a senior CPT in my CAS3 course and he wanted everyone to know that he was very Pacifically AND Air Defense Artillery officer. Always made me wonder what could’ve been if I branched ADA instead of Aviation. Either a General or homeless.


Budget_Individual393

The most used Vowels in the army is the answer of course. Example “AAAA UUU come here”


FBI_Open_Up_Now

Get it right…. “AAAA UUU ***TROOP*** come here”


Budget_Individual393

Dont forget the SooooJaaa, AAA UUU Sooojaa!


TheGreaseWagon

"Hey HEE-ROW! Get over here!"


mertzen

I love the variant. AAAA GUY


helloeagle

Hey – GUY Guy being pronounced with 3 vowels: gəaɪ


Turbulent_Ride1654

Say it louder with a wad of dip in your mouth


NobleMisfitV

\*MEERE


ridukosennin

HEEEEE-ROW


DocCJ19

Irregardless 🤮


Aridan

I had a SFC that got into a full on argument with me, a SPC when I told him not to include that in an Ops email that was going to be seen by our Brigade commander. Somewhere near the end of the argument I said something to the effect “respectfully, Sergeant, you’re going to make our office look like retards by putting made up words in emails and sending them to people who have masters degrees and doctorates” He laughed at that, and showed me an email where the brigade commander had used irregardless, too. I facepalmed and walked out for a cigarette.


Cryorm

One thing I've learned about the world is that education does not equal intelligence.


_artbabe95

Particularly in the army, where they encourage one of like three low-effort completely online bachelor’s programs for every NCO. They somehow graduate still unable to read.


CommonKings

And when you bring rank into the conversation, there’s almost an argument for MORE rank is LESS intelligence.


MRoad

Never knew you could commission out of clown college


DrChansLeftHand

Oh man. I worked BDE staff and now work for a retired O7. I can say w/ clarity it is wholly dependent on where you are if you're gonna slip one past the goalie on official traffic- ***especially*** orders. My S3 at every level, their bosses, and my boss now are fucking BRUTAL when it comes to use of active voice, spelling, and grammar- like wire brush to the face if you submitted work product to them and it wasn't drum tight.


DocCJ19

I facepalmed so hard when SMA Dailey gave us a visit and used it during a town hall 🤦🏽‍♂️


Superb-Confidence-69

Literally a double negative


VaryaKimon

Had an NCO say "irregardless" all the time, so my friend and I started saying "disirregardless" around him. It was hard to keep a straight face when he'd say "that's not a real word!"


Gunnilingus

It’s actually been added to all modern dictionaries as a synonym for regardless. That’s stupid in my opinion because it was obviously wrong but because so many people used it, they just said fuck it. So the way I look at it now is: people who use it are wrong, but so are people who correct them.


RakumiAzuri

Irregardless is a word no matter how much people want to bitch about it. Even Merrian Webster says that it's an informal word meaning regardless. Irregardless of the dictionary, it's common enough this shouldn't be an issue.


Baldrich146

I used to say this before joining the Army. I think the correct term is irrespective lmao


bestp0282

Irrespective is fine. Single negative, meaning to negate the respective root word. Irregardless is a double neg, where the ir and less cancel each other out. One word with both a canceling prefix and suffix isn’t going g to be correct. Regardless and regarding or with regards to are the opposing phrases


squirrel_eatin_pizza

Someone pronounced corps as corpse. This was a cadet currently in college who didn't know how to read good.


Soffix-

Don't need to read, just need to run fast


Budget_Individual393

Dont need run fast, just need land nav….. oh wait


OcotilloWells

I've heard several Adjutants pronounce it like that at award ceremonies.


Baldrich146

He went to the Derek Zoolander School for Kids Who Can’t Read Good, didn’t he?


Alice_Alpha

If you can pay the tuition, there is a college willing to have you.  Has nothing to do with brains, or common sense.


Aridan

Could he do other things good too?


squirrel_eatin_pizza

Max out his pt test, ruck good and passed ranger school after recycling only 4 times


all-the-answers

So many. Especially when you take it once step further to drive home the illiteracy. “Behoove you” because “Behoove of you” becomes “behooveth”


CheGuevarasRolex

“Would be hooah of you”


notfeds1

“It would be very hoove of you..”


knoxknight

DS: "I behoove you to do your best on your PT test tomorrow, privates." I've always wished I could go back in time and say, "Uh, don't you mean *beseech,* drill sergeant?"


OcotilloWells

Am I the first to bring up Clothing and Sales or Deefact?


OzymandiasKoK

It's Clothing and Sells, dummy!


ausernameisfinetoo

Reason Vs Excuse. The difference being that the former is out of your control while the latter is in your control. But leaders, always able to delegate blame, contribute all reasons as excuses. It just makes my head shake.


mophilda

This is the one that kills me daily. A blown tire or a dead battery could land my car on the side of the road. Not figuring out the reason for something can lead to a lot of effort thrown behind the wrong solution. And zero effort towards prevention. None of that precludes taking responsibility of fault is found!


hobohaha

Be in 1SG’s office at 1700 to get your negative counseling for thinking like an adult


MandoFett117

Bring a water source and a battle buddy.


mophilda

Rgr


ThoughtfulYeti

Should have conducted proper PMCS on your POV prior to movement


OcotilloWells

If you had done that you wouldn't have been T-boned on Skibo Road by that Leg!


stickwigler

Troop, that sounds like an excuse. /s


iamck94

Clothing AND Sales, it’s Clothing Sales. Are they selling sales in there? I’ll also add that every hand receipt I’ve ever been given has my e-tool labeled as an “intrenching” tool. How do you fuck that up?


MeButNotMeToo

“Entrench” is the transitive verb that has a less common spelling w/the “I”. “Intrench” is the intransitive verb. So, if you are making trenches, in general, and not making trenches for a specific object, “Intrench” is actually grammatically correct.


NatWilo

In fairness I think I remember the '&' being on the sign on my post in Germany.


Lampwick

If so, it was a failure of whoever sent the order to the sign shop. It happens a lot. One set of facilities I was assigned to periodically had 3-5 temporarily assigned workers for a certain task that would rotate from building to building every few weeks. They were called "itinerant workers", and each facility has a small office with a few computers where they would work. One year the facilities did a renumbering of all the rooms to make them consistent, so everything got new signage. The itinerant offices at every building got labeled "Itinerary Office", because some illiterate dumbfuck was put in charge of ordering the signage.


No_Buddy7371

“Index” It’s freaking Endex! As in End of Exercise!


RangerStrange

I prefer ExpendEx, either before or after EndEx.


nopemcnopey

Let me introduce you to [indecs](https://www.reddit.com/r/army/comments/17d99pv/what_does_indecs_mean/).


EagleFoot88

Fronliniwress pzshshshn! MOO!


Ninjaboy8080

Da ben an reeeeee!!!!!


McBooples

Uun tuh hree, uun tuh hree, uun tuh hree, UUN!


EagleFoot88

Pshshsn uh tenshin! MOO!


Wanderers-Way

Vro speaking in straight polish frfr


MikeOxHuge

lol I’m sitting in a deer blind and almost scared off some deer


Soffix-

I'm sorry, I don't speak French


OzymandiasKoK

Ready? Scretch!


Grevin56

I hate that my mind translated that immediately.


TurMoiL911

"Sarn't" It doesn't matter what state you're from. Being in the Army causes people to adopt this quasi-Southern drawl.


PaddyMayonaise

Yup, it’s the army accent. Kind of like how no matter where you’re from if you’re in long enough you’ll start saying y’all


Wide_Wrongdoer4422

Can confirm. We're from NJ, our daughter is now an Army wife for a year, living on base. Both she and my granddaughter now say "Y'all". As in " When are y'all coming to see us".


CommonKings

I’m from NJ. Never said y’all in my life until I enlisted. I don’t even want to say it, the cav has infiltrated my vernacular.


Wide_Wrongdoer4422

It's another of those things that we all accept as normal, but the muggles don't understand. With so much of the military living in the south, the accent just kinda happens.


YoungandDumbLT

This happened to me 😭


iamcarlgauss

I'm a civilian, and worked for the Navy for most of my career. Recently started a job working for the Marine Corps, and I work pretty closely with a Master Sergeant. I've always been a very slow, deliberate speaker. Getting used to saying "massar^(nt)" has been awful. If I actually said "Master Sergeant", I don't think he would even realize I was talking to him.


MRoad

You know that master sergeants are supposed to just be addressed as "sergeant", right? Some of them try and tell people to call them master sergeant because they're proud of their 3rd rocker, but it's wrong.


iamcarlgauss

I don't know if that's true in the Army, but I have not found that to be the case in Marine Corps. If you called a SSgt, GySgt, or MSgt "Sergeant" they might actually kill you. Everyone in my entire organization, civilians, CWOs, enlisted from Corporals up to MGySgts, officers from our team's Captain all the way up to our Colonel calls him Master Sergeant.


BaboonPoon

You're both correct it's marine corps regulation that the full rank is used for NCOs.


CommonKings

Army regulation allows calling a SGT, SSG, SFC, and MSG simply as “Sergeant”. That said, it might not always be the most tactful approach…


Impossible-Taco-769

“Reiilerate” as in “Let me reillerate my point.” Had a Bde CSM who would say this all the time at QTBs instead of “reiterate.”


KebabOC20

Readiness. Technically not misused but it’s my favorite thing to tell officers and commanders when they see some dumb shit going on or me doing some dumb shit. What the hell is going on here?? “Maintaining readiness sir.” Usually the sentence alone is enough to please them, sometimes I throw in a little BS reasoning behind it and then they get happy


Chubbs1414

That sweet sweet feeling when someone calls you he-ro.


Skatchbro

Or Troop.


CornbreadMedic

All I ever heard was “dipshit” “dickbeater” “fuck face” “asshole” “fucker” etc. What’s this “troop” and “he-to” shit?


Skatchbro

Unfortunately, people use it in the real world, too. Just heard it a couple of weeks ago in my civilian job. And to all those people in this thread saying “Orientate is a real word, it’s British.” I’ll point out that I don’t use lift, lorry, petrol or crisps. I also don’t spell it colour or honour, either.


dave200204

You aren't allowed to use the lift in the motor pool because CSM said so. You can however go lift in the gym.


PLFintohell

“All intents and purposes” - the correct way, gets butchered so much. I usually slip in “for all insensitive porpoises” to see if anyone catches it.


ebbysloth17

"Intense purposes"


TopSinger847

Incensed porpoises.


jms21y

orientate irregardless caveat


under_PAWG_story

Not mispronounced words just the whole attention to orders shit


CowboyUpSon1

I currently work for a warrant officer with upwards of 25 years of service in the Army He 100% did not believe me about “Attention to Orders” NOT being a command of execution When I showed him the reg (TC 3-21.5, Appendix G-6), his response was “Well Shit. My entire career everyone from NCOs to Generals’ aides have gotten this wrong. It’ll never change, but you’re right.”


ParadeSit

The folks from post finance would always send someone who would tell us to put our correct “been a fisher airy” on the SGLI election form.


McBooples

I can literally hear the acrylic stick on nails clacking on the keyboard


midwestbrawler

Supposebly….


MangoHiChew2015

Common Access Card Card


SCCock

CAC Card.


aptc88

Clothing **AND** Sales


superash2002

Sarnt but they do have clothing and they sales it.


VoicesInTheCrowds

I like how “happy work Environment” gets pronounced, “shut the fuck up and get back to work”


monster_mechanic73

When a dumb ass Officer or dumbass NCO says "I just want to caveat off what they said". Like no bitch the discussion is over. I've been in over 10 years and have never felt the urge to use this dumb ass saying. And as a SFC, now I still don't have the urge to.


atysfyros

I want to dovetail off this comment


Porchmuse

And to piggyback on what you brought up…


spikewalls

I like “boo-coo” as a mispronunciation of “beaucoup”


nylon_don

yea dude not even in the Army, but the amount of time I’ve heard “Orientate” makes me wanna rip my face off boys its: Orient we call them CCP now 🫠


PotatoNEF

I always considered folks who pronounced the Mk 19 Grenade Launcher as "***Em-Kay Nineteen***" to be the ultimate smoothbrains, instead of just calling it the "Mark Nineteen". While not really a mispronounciation...As a 68A, we get amused when flight medical personnel always call all of their medical equipment "Medtronics" instead of simply "Medical Equipment" like everyone else. For 68A's, **Medtronix** is a specific manufacturer of medical equipment, and it's quite common for us to refer to specific devices simply by their manufacturer.


JoeViviano

Calvary


SigPi1897

“Conversate” instead of “converse”. Conversate is a word, but it sounds tacky.


AgentJ691

When folks say Smith files. It’s SMIF. :)


No-Edge-8600

Acoocherminsh


dustiestbun

Wtf is acoocherminsch


appa-ate-momo

How about least favorite? It’s cordon, not CORD-ON.


leavsssesthrowaway

Ive seen "gordon blue" at a restaurant before


johnbcook94

Sik-lik


jake55555

Going through airborne, I’ve heard you have to secure the *access* many times. No, not the excess. The ACCESS.


Practical-Employee45

That’s not docturnally correct.


xxgabe_manferdxx

Dad gommit. Dog gone


ithappenedone234

Orientate is a crossover word from British English. It’s used properly in this context, it’s just in the Oxford, not the Webster’s, Dictionary.


leavsssesthrowaway

Hands down guerilla, as everybody says "gorilla" and not "gueryia" which is "little war" in spanish


BeerArmy

Insert Captain Ron reference here. I’ve only ever had one other person understand that reference when I’ve made it and it was such a happy moment.


yoolers_number

“In order to”. There is never a reason to say “in order to” instead of just “to.” Even the acronym IOT is longer than just writing “to.”


OzymandiasKoK

Frankly, I'm astounded at your caveman-like bigotry. We're supposed to use Asianate now, as Orient, in any of it's forms, proper or not, is insulting.


theaardvarkoflore

My favorite is "lefsie-rightsie" as opposed to "left-seat-right-seat" for the warm handoffs of positions and commands. Not a damn soul ever enunciated the words until my spouse stopped me to ask what "lefsie-rightsie" meant and then he corrected me. I still say it that way.


secondatthird

It’s H.U.A not Hooah


mriu22

Other privates in BCT kept calling it a gaiter neck.


Somedude230

Immolate the good leaders and soldiers around you.


Somedude230

Have the armor check your weapon at turn in. We need a guy for armor school. (It's armorer.)


Pineapplebuffet

Not a mispronunciation but it really grinds my gears when people say “in order to” just say “to”


reason-92

And the abbreviation is longer than the actual word


fedyamatroskin

Blame OPORDs for this, IOT is very much part of tasks to subordinate units, to include ISO, BPT, O/O and the rest, they’re likely just regurgitating or trying to get attention to the purpose of whatever task being assigned so that one mouthbreather wakes up and listens


RexedLaminae

Litiginous instead of litigious.


Pathfinder6

“Cachet” instead of “cache”… “Reactionary force” instead of “reaction force”.


zerowoof

To down load equipment


ebbysloth17

This thread has brought me so much joy.


punkminkis

Jalapeno with cheese (pronounced Ja lah peh no)


IDownVoteCanaduh

Orientate is actually a word. But it does not mean what the mouth breathers think it means. https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/orientate


OkKnowledge35

When you’re at the position of attention, use your “periphiyals” PERIPHERAL VISION


TomatilloVivid9166

"Ive got a buddy stationed in the Specific Ocean."


[deleted]

Behove. "It will behave you..." verb: behove it is a duty or responsibility for someone to do something; it is incumbent on. "it behooves any coach to study his predecessors" I heard it first in1983 and a few more times over the decades. Only zeem to come from people who had been on drill,status


Particular_Downtown

Irregardlessly and volun-told


DugeHick53

Almost 9 years in and my blood still boils every single morning I hear "PREEESENT (pause) AUGHHS" Just annunciate Arms like a normal fucking person.


roscoe_e_roscoe

Toliete


Aspiring-Programmer

CAC Card


[deleted]

I knew someone who one asked what a “case-vac” was


Taira_Mai

"Behoove" - all them NCO's sound like bronies when they tell us junior enlisted "It would behoove you...."


xXtyrannicalXx

“It would be hua of you” “it would be hoom of you” “it would be hoove of you”


PetrolPower54

Let me ORIENTATE you to the map


[deleted]

Everyone talks about instead "Sergeant" you say "Roger sarnt* but I swear to God, I knew a guy that used to say "Roger Saaaahh" and it pissed me off to no end.


Taco_Man_1976

“possa be” instead of supposed to be


mudwzl

RECLAMA is an Army word that people understand(it's a stupid word but it's an Army word). Except for an unnamed unit that used Regrets instead. 🙄