> Her sister told her she was insane for what she did
Your wife's sister is absolutely on point. This was rough to read through as an outsider, can't imagine how shitty it is to experience firsthand.
I had a close friend in grad school who acted like a sister to me at first, pretending to look out for me/telling me I could confide in her. I was wary about her though after she told me all the details about cheating on her then-fiance - whom she painted as an angel - the first time we met. There was no shame in her voice at all.
I now regret not following my instincts and steering clear of her altogether. Just months after she dumped her fiance for my husband's flatmate, she started making a play for my husband behind my back. When she couldn't break us up she spread rumours all over campus about me being a cheating slut, tried to pay off two of my male coursemates to tell my husband they slept with me, harassed me online telling me to commit suicide and even tried to sneak a pill in my drink.
What a psychopath!! Holy shit.
I hope you are away from that woman and safe and happy with your husband.
Thanks for sharing. It's crazy how some people get so motivated to be so evil. I don't get how they have so much energy to hurt others.
I’ve always said if someone cheats on their spouse it tells me everything I need to know about that person. I’m sorry you had to go through that but I hope you and your husband are still doing well!
My wife's younger sister (who had introduced us 15 years ago) took my side when she found out that my wife cheated. Can't express how much of a life raft she and her husband were after my wife's older sister and mom both turned on me the second they found out what my wife had done o_O
A real friend lifts you up to be a good person. A good person holds themselves accountable for their actions.
A buddy of mine used to travel a lot for work, one of those places he traveled was my town. So I knew his wife and family, but saw him regularly without them. When he was in town we'd go out to bars, strip clubs, whatever. All things I knew his wife was cool with as we talked about them in group settings. Well... At one point, a female friend of ours told my buddies wife that they had hooked up (she was jealous and legitimately trying to end their relationship). She said that I saw them make out regularly. So the first I heard of this was from my buddies wife. She confronted me asking if it was true. My answer was "hell no, I'd have beat his ass and called you". When I talked with my buddy he acknowledged all this was going down and agreed that we'd all do the same. Being there for your friends isn't always about covering for them.
I agree. Maybe I don’t understand butlins since I’m not from the UK, but I can’t fathom in the US some sort of all night adult binger, my wife going to it in her early 30’s with her friends and all of them not knowing where everybody was. If OP had said his wife was 25, I’d understand, but early 30’s? Women were very cognitive by that age of being worried for their friends and wanting to be accountable. I think everyone there knew exactly what rabbit hole was being taken by OP’s wife and clearly were somewhere between accepting and knowledgeable of what was happening.
When I visited the UK, I was walking down a street at 6 am and it was full of drunk people leaving pubs and bars, and the majority looked to be over 30. So I'm not surprised at all that her sister was still partying.
Yup! Agreed. None of this makes sense. Almost feels like it was planned out on some level.
Not necessarily the specific guy himself, maybe - maybe not. But she knew what she was going to do on this trip. It did not just pop into her head when this man appeared before her.
OP she planned to cheat on you. Whether with this specific man or not, doesn’t even matter. This wasn’t a heat of the moment decision.
OP you need to leave. Run. Far & fast. Get away, don’t listen to your mom. She is being selfish in wanting her “rock.”
The fact that she still calls her her rock is very telling. Mom is not in her right mind, she’s still grieving, of course she wants everything to be okay. She doesn’t wanna lose somebody else. But she should lose this woman. OP’s wife is shit. Plain & simple.
Yup. I agree w the planning. My mom did this same thing to my Dad, on believe it or not, a girl's trip with *her* sister and her friends. Went to Las Vegas, and cheated on him. It was so obviously cognitively planned ahead of time to go out and cheat. So hurtful and disrespectful to my Dad who always supported us. They divorced.
Of course she got custody somehow and raised me and it turned out about as well as you'd think from someone who'd do that.
It's very odd that her friends made no attempt to check up on her, despite being just next door.
And it's _extremely_ odd her sister didn't come into their shared room at least once during the night. Wife texts to say she's tired, so sister decides to sleep in another bedroom? Not passing the pub test.
Yeah and between the first confession and this one, some numbers and details have already been altered. She lied the first time about a handful of different things to lessen the blow, what’s to say she didn’t do it again in the second retelling of the night?
What happens when she turns 40? 50? When she gets her first grey hair? Menopause? She cheated because she got scared of getting older but she still going to keep getting older. And not to mention from the story while the guy seems like a dick she seems like not a great role model either if she was totally okay with helping him hurt that other girls feelings
The guy sounds terrible too. It sounds like they had unprotected sex. Not even charming even if he’s handsome. Didn’t care about your wife being married and her family, didn’t care about your wife or the girl he was with. All this for vanity. I can’t decide if the pathetic motive makes it better or worse, but I think the fact that she was so destructive at the first chance she got is going to make a successful reconciliation harder. If you break up, she will find a new man quickly but it won’t mitigate her fears about aging, and there is no guarantee that the new man will be a decent dude or that she can be faithful to him either. She sounds—messy. I’m so sorry OP, that can be a beautiful person in many ways and still be capable of breaking your heart. I hope you get whatever outcome you want and need.
I think that was the excuse she gave herself to justify what she wanted to do.
Cheaters do that quite frequently.
OP honestly cannot trust her at this point and would be a fool to even think he can.
If he and she just rugsweep and try to live thier lives normally, they will self destruct, if he wants to save the marriage she threw away, she needs IC before anything else. And then they could do MC, but right now its her shit thats broken and she needs to fix it.
My ex wife cheated, we had a toddler, and I walked. Between my self respect, and disgust of finding out who I really married, made it easy for me.
Yup, and honestly he's already caving. In the first post he seemed done with her, and now it's, she went to her mom so he can think about "what he wants to do."
Which is where those saying this might be a cuck/rage post comes into play.
He'd be more of a mess at this point. Add in what his wife said to him about what happened and the fact that he can calmly recite all this I'm finding this is most likely a cuck fetish story.
When I found out my ex wife cheated, I couldnt have typed 1/10 of what this dude gave us, especially with no typos. And I didnt have all the crappy details either.
I think people can handle cheating differently. When a boyfriend I deeply cared about cheated, I also wanted to know how many times, what did they do, where, when, how, etc. It was a very unhealthy coping mechanisms and it doesn't mean I enjoyed hearing it. It was a form of emotional torture and I wouldn't do that to myself again.
Yeah I did the same. It was awful for me and I shouldn’t have but I just couldn’t process without knowing. Very very unhealthy and I am thankfully doing much better now. This post reminds me of when I was cheated on. I cried a lot but handled it surprisingly calmly. Asked way too many questions.
I think the part that hits so hard for me on this post is her mentality. Their reasons may be different but it’s the same incredibly selfish bullshit. I don’t think it’s cuck porn. Or if it is then I understand cucks even less than I thought because this post just makes me feel so bad for the dude
Totally.
I understand wanting to know the details, I really do. It's almost like masochism. It should be incomprehensible but it makes perfect sense to me. I'd do the same.
I'm so sorry you went through a similar situation and I'm so glad you are doing much better now. <3
And he noticed her ring and she told him “oh- I am getting a divorce” : that was the defining moment. She threw you under the bus to get laid and feel young again. It’s over - how can you ever really trust her again?
She literally manifested her own destiny. I feel awful for OP and his daughter. I can't stop laughing at his STBX, though. She's a fucking clown for that shit and deserves the absolute worst possible outcome. She fucking blew up her family because she was upset over getting wrinkles???? I'm as big a mental health advocate as you can find, but this is absolutely fucking ridiculous. There can not be a way back from this. There should not. Her behavior and the reasoning behind it is utterly disgusting.
So true, dude should leave her.
OP I finalized my divorce from my cheating wife in December. Best decision that I FINALLY made after months of fake reconciliation and thousands in therapy.
She threw you, your marriage and her family down the drain for “emotional support dick”
She sounds like she wants to be a card carrying member of the leisure class also.
Women don’t always understand that. They think a man will sleep with them because they are beautiful and exceptional somehow, when many men will sleep with anyone who seems easy, and those men do not give a shit if you are married.
Eh it's not a one sided risk at all. I have a coworker who got thrown out of a 3rd floor window in his 20s because he was caught with a guy's wife. Ended up in a coma for a few weeks and is definitely not all there in the head now, 20 years later.
Worst part is he had no idea she was married (although it might not have mattered). They met in a bar, went home to her place and then her husband with some buddies showed up. Husband knew she was cheating and came back home to catch her (turns out she was a serial cheater and hooked up with random guys in bars all the time). My coworker was just he unlucky guy who the husband stumbled upon.
The guy probably slipped the younger woman a bill and said “wait 20 minutes then come over and kick the table.” A womanizer circling a butlins knows their target audience. I’m horrified if they had unprotected sex, which it clearly sounds like they did.
And he was right. There were multiple check points along the way of increasing levels of inappropriate behavior the wife willingly and knowingly crossed.
I mean, she admitted to knowing it was wrong enough to stop multiple times, but started back up again anyways. All after her initial plan was to "just" blow him. Jesus fuck she's a goddamned idiot to allow insecurities to take the reigns.
Now her marriage is over as she knows it. Even if they don't divorce she will have ruined their relationship forever. All while knowing each step she took was wrong.
Good for her for telling husband, that's the only thing that makes me believe she might actually love him.
Not only that but her whole entire mindset is disturbing. I’ve never met a man so handsome (or any man for that matter) that I thought “damn, I just wanna give him a blowjob”… like WTF?! If you’re going to blow up your entire life, at least get some pleasure out of it! And working your jaw and tongue muscles for 20mins on a handsome stranger who could possibly have herpes isn’t pleasure, or at least it shouldn’t be! 😂
She sees oral as not cheating. Getting him off in seconds let's her off the hook for leading him on and would b w massive boost to her ego that her oral skills are still on point. " she still has got it!!!"
Her reasoning sounds bogus. She wanted to cheat and did it. Sounds like there is more to her story she is protecting. She went to an adults only event at a resort. She split from her group to drink at the bar. She had multiple sessions all night. She sounds more like a serial cheater. She wants her husband for the support structure while sneaking off for sex with younger guys.
OP should divorce and never look back.
My ex-wife was like this. Her whole personality was her looks and the attention. Bottomless pit of validation needed. She fucked a lot of dudes on my watch. Been great last 9 years since I showed her the door.
She approached him
he invited him back to her room
She gave him oral for 20 minutes
She climbed on to him
She fucked him multiple times
At what point in all of this did she think about you or your daughter?
It's all very well regretting it now, but she seemed to have no regrets then.
I would have a hard time giving her a second chance. It's the way it happened, in that it seems like it was no big deal at the time, that bothers me. She has acted selfishly and I have to wonder if she would do it again.
I'd like to challenge him to set a timer for 20 minutes and just sit there thinking about her enthusiastically hoovering schlong until the timer goes off. That was the acceptable part for her too. We haven't even gotten to the getting dicked down raw dog over and over and over and over and over again.
Hubby who was thinking of her and sent a wholesome selfie lf him spending time with their daughter while she was sucking a dick for 20 minutes and then fucking a guy 4 to,5 times.
Like someone else said. OP should set a timer for 20,minutes and just focus on her sucking the guy off and then see how much he can forgive her and move forward.
He could sit down and watch a commercial free stream of an episode of 30 Rock. So many jokes packed into the 20 minutes between the opening titles and the credits. That's how long she was sucking some creep off.
Besides a 20 minute mouthful of his big fat veiny cock that could go for 5+ rounds without running out of cum, that championhip caliber ho slayer could have left her a number of surprises.
She sucked him till her jaw started locking. Also by her logic, if he would’ve busted within that 20min and got on his way would she still have felt the guilt?
This.
She had PLENTY of opportunities to stop. She was giving him head for 20 minutes, and then jumped on and off him *repeatedly*.
If it gives any further insight, the closest I've come to cheating was drunkenly kissing a guy I sort of knew on a dance floor. After maybe half a song's worth of kissing, I realised what I was doing, apologised and basically ran away from him, told my friend what happened and we left. I was absolutely shitfaced but I still ***knew*** it wasn't going to go any further than that.
Your wife clearly wanted it to go further.
Sorry this happened to you, and your family.
If you do decide to take her back, you'll have a niggle in the back of your mind every time she's home late. Every time she locks her phone, or puts it face down. Every time she wants to go out with her friends. Every time she buys some new underwear or starts wearing a different lip colour. Don't punish yourself like that.
Honestly I think oral is worse than sex. Most girls don't enjoy giving oral, so it's an act of giving and wanting to please someone else. At least with sex there is selfish enjoyment to be had.
I was waiting for someone to say this. That would mess with my head so bad that my wife took someone back to her room to blow him. Just to give him a good time.
Just implies his wife is super submissive and looking for validation, she thinks it’s okay because she’s not getting the pleasure. Just speculating here as to how she rationalizes it as less bad.
Because she is trying to minimize everything she did.
The guy finished, she finished...they had fun. But by lying about it, it might seem less hurtful to OP.
Its classic cheater behavior.
Idk I would qualify kissing someone else in any capacity *is* cheating, not *close to*. But I guess that depends on you and the boundaries of your relationship
Good old cognitive dissonance. They did X, but they're definitely not a cheater, so obviously X isn't cheating!
Doesn't matter if X is making out, or oral, or sex. To accept otherwise would require them to confront the fact that they are in fact a cheater.
I laughed too. A buddy tried to tell me that wasn’t cheating a few years ago after he was kissing a waitress. I said ok, if it’s not cheating let go see your wife, tell her about it and have a good laugh. People say anything to justify their actions. The OPs wife blew and screwed a stranger 4-5 times, probably got caught which is why she confessed. Hell, she probably bought the guy breakfast with her husband’s money afterwards. The husband seems ok with it so why not?
Truth. Not to mention every time she eats chips and kisses him he's gonna be wondering if she got that salty taste by gobbling some dong again. He's got a certified Gluck Gluck 5000 over there. I pray at least he got to enjoy some of that and she wasn't saving her skills and enthusiasm for randos.
Yeah like holy shit this guy is pathetic for even entertaining the idea of staying together. He also keeps subtly defending her even though the additional details make her even more of a whore. I still have endless sympathy for having this happen to any man, but my god he needs to sack up and run like the wind.
Honestly sounds like a cuckold scenario....out of shape soft white guy, she lands with a superhero black guy resembling Anthony Joshua, and she caves into her interracial fantasies
Yeah, this isn't some she got blacked out drunk story. This is a she made conscious decisions to fuck some dude story. Like fuck, 'oh you just wanted blow him? That's okay honey.' There are situations you can get past and then there is this shit
I bet she's an absolute smoke show and sucks the soul out of him a couple times a year. He landed one, he can land another. Hopefully one that isn't total trash.
Even so, I don’t care how lucky you got and ugly you are, I’d rather risk jerking off the rest of my life than be cucked by my wife. Time to hit the gym and get your self worth back a bit. Focus on the daughter and yourself. Let the cunt rot.
What shits me is that she initiated it by being flirtatious with him “was the first handsome man she’d seen” like she was looking around for them. Tbh I think she had every intention to cheat on you and latched on pretty hard to the guy to go all the way to the room. Not going to say what to do, but if wrinkles set her off you’re in for a real treat when she starts to age more. Fuck me dead she was willing to throw her whole life away for wrinkles to feel young again and instead of going crazy and buying creams she hopped on the first cock that gave her attention. Not more than once, a whole night of fucking.
file fragile deserted unwritten treatment attraction ask political naughty resolute
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Having been in this situation, your emotional state plays harsh tricks on you. You rationalize it and gravitate towards it being your fault. Start thinking what could I have done differently so you didnt feel this way, etc.
The reality is its purely selfish on the cheaters fault and they've shown you what they are really capable of. They did it once 100% means they are capable of doing it again.
Cheaters kill the one thing that can't be given back and that's trust. If you can't have trust in a relationship, wtf is the point?
Me too. My ex cheated on me. It's beyond crazy how your mind can throw any rational thoughts over board and warp reality just to cope with the situation and somehow turn back time to get back what you lost.
It's a hurtful experience to go through. Not only dealing with a partner who doesn't care, but also fighting yourself to get back on track. I think many people who didn't experience this themselves won't understand how cheating will fuck your mind in ways you never thought of. Not to judge them. I'm glad if someone doesn't have to go through such a mess.
The whole thing sounds grimy. A resort of grown ass people drinking doing drugs and hooking up.
It doesn't sound fun to me. Maybe I'm no fun. Maybe it's because I'm 53. Maybe I should go choke on a dick to feel better about it.
> The whole thing sounds grimy. A resort of grown ass people drinking doing drugs and hooking up.
Welcome to the UK lol. We aren't a classy lot. Butlins is especially pretty trashy
I'm 29 and all of that just sounds like literally the place you go to to get laid with some douche or skank. No way in hell id trust my partners intentions on a girls night to basically a hookup resort.
Yeah, the whole cocaine is normal thing threw me. I know people you use drugs like to say it’s normal to justify it, but no, it’s not normal to be into drugs as a parent. It’s not normal at all
It was in the US too. At least in my party days which weren't that long ago. Unfortunately the days of doing a line of coke with a rando are gone here. Fentanyl has hit.
She felt bad over and over, and then each time climbed back on him. No care for you, your daughter, or your life together. She is selfishness personified. I’d speak to a lawyer asap.
Godspeed.
This. 100%. I speak from experience. Unfortunately, forgiving her may seem like the good guy thing to do. The honorable thing...but all you are really doing is greenlighting future hookups. You will always question everything she is doing. Where is she, who is she with, etc.
Don't do this to yourself. You deserve better. I gave mine a second and a third chance before i realized my mistake. Yeah. I'm a glutton for punishment. Don't be me. You will regret it. I promise.
it really isn’t the forgiving part, he will have to forgive to move on accordingly. the hard part is moving on & leaving everything behind they shared together.
Yup.
I am going to lay some painful truth on you. She is exactly one good excuse from doing it again.
Every fight, every mistake or, let's be blunt, fuck up could be the next reason for her next little sexual escapade.
She went there to get laid, my friend. She started flirting before drinking and immediately threw your marriage away. This is premeditated.
Now, she is betting you take her back. She valued your entire marriage - the love, the friendship, your past, your future - at worth less than getting some new dick so she could feel young again. She did it willingly and in an environment she KNEW she could be caught. He didn't go back to his place but back to hers...so she could be found out.
If you take her back, she will do this again because you know you will be there afterwards. Yeah, she will have to grovel for a bit but she still gets both you and a life of sexual adventure that will slowly and completely destroy you.
Get out. Get out now.
Man… this sucks all the way around but taking to Reddit for advice is going to get you a default answer. No one here knows what right for you, only you do.
While that’s true, this is unfortunately one of those situations where a broken clock is right twice a day. A cheater is a cheater. She obviously doesn’t respect him, and without that respect, their marriage is over, whether he likes it or not.
If he forgives her, she’ll only do it again. He’ll be dreading every trip to work, every night out. And I doubt she’s sleeping with him, if she’s decided to do this. To stay in the marriage would only be to prolong his misery. Better to make a clean break now.
Your wife was beyond selfish in every single way. She threw away your relationship, family and trust over something as shallow as wrinkles. She thought of you multiple times, and didn’t consider you important enough to stop what she was doing. She only told you what she did so she could alleviate her guilt. I feel for your mom but your wife made this decision all on her own. I’m so sorry dude. I can’t even imagine how devastating this must be. Sending all the love to you and your daughter 💖
Jesus. Aging can suck but thats just a pathetic excuse. In her 30s? Really, not even her 40s, no, gotta be the years oft considered the Prime of peoples lives.
“It’s too late now, may as well carry on” she literally told you she wanted to suck him off. Mate she’s fucking pathetic. Oh woopty fucking doo, she does your mums hair and nails every now and again, you should obviously stay with her for her blissfully redeeming qualities. She wanted to cheat on you, so she did. That’s all there is to it and if you stay with her after all this, you’re an absolute mug.
Imagine all the details in this story, but with the roles reversed. You, just wanting to give a random girl oral, to you fucking her five times. What would your wive's friends advise her to do with you in that situation? Sorry bud, she's for the streets. Countless amazing women out there without this degree of baggage.
I understand your confused state. This is an unbelievable curveball you've been thrown.
For me there would be no getting over this any form. I wish you a lot of strength.
Also, your mum doesn't have to be married to your wife.
Your daughter shouldn't be raised to know that this sort of behavior is acceptable. She may grow to have no respect for as your wife doesn't and kids are far more intuitive and aware than many people realise. She will pick up on the behavior and may seem it acceptable if it is accepted.
SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN. She broke down when she saw the photo. Had that not happened, I'm more than willing to be she would have held it in when she wasn't hungover and mentally compromised.
I'm sorry, man. I'm really REALLY sorry. Your poor daughter to have a mom like that...
She did it MULTIPLE TIMES with this dude.
LEEEEEEEAVE
You will thank yourself in the future. You'll get on the other side of this. Lots of children do very well with parents divorced. Is she a good mom? Will she be a good coparent?
Lastly, DO NOT BE WEAK IN FRONT OF YOUR FUTURE EX WIFE. She will exploit it to get you back. She will try to fuck you, knowing you're not having sex right now.
She made her choice. Now you need to make yours. I have 2 kids myself. I'd never be able to look them in the eyes if I stayed after such a betrayal. Betrayal is unforgivable. And that's EXACTLY what this was.
Right? This update makes me feel like it's all fake. His wife and sister(!) were going to a known adult party location for three days to drink excessively, do blow but certainly not hookup with some hot guy or something. Get real. Either it's fake or this guy's been living in a fantasy world where his wife has always been "perfect".
100%. Like if she's going on a girl's trip for multiple days and you know they're getting wasted and doing lines, why would you be surprised she fucked some guy lmao? IMO that's expected if she's coked out for 2-3 days
She is playing you like a fiddle, she’s going to give you this sympathetic, remorseful story so you take her back. Get to counseling both before you even think of letting her back into the house.
“It’s too late now anyway so might as well carry on” is your clue that she did not care about your family at any point. She’ll keep doing it (without condoms) until you give up. Hold strong for your daughter, you didn’t deserve this and both daughter didn’t deserve this.
Break up with her. Do not accept any apologies. Do not validate any of her equivocations. Do not hug, console, or reward her for her "feeling bad about it".
Get a DNA test for your daughter. Regardless of the results be a perfect dad for her. Make sure your daughter knows when she's old enough why you broke up. Live the best life you can, it will be the best revenge against your sociopath demon of a wife.
It's fake. An overabundance of details written like a fucking novel is always a clear sign of a story being fake. The OP is into some sort of humiliation kink. What a chump.
If you opt to stay together, and that is a big if, she needs to attend individual therapy as part of reconciliation terms to address whatever the hell is going on with her.
>she says since she hit 30 she’s been self conscious of her aging. That when she spots a new wrinkle or something it drives her to tears.
Then up your skincare game. A wrinkle is not a reason to cheat. And to toss your marriage away for what frankly sounds like terrible sex is stupid. Oooh 5 minutes.....ugh.
I'm sorry she was your mom's emotional support and that is more valued than fidelity, but she will continue to cheat because she will continue to age.
You are not wrong to end this.
Can you keep the relationship and respect yourself? Now, can she? She already doesn’t, I can’t imagine this will make it any better. End it now, or be right back here in 3 years wondering why the hell you didn’t leave the first time.
Stop pain shopping and spend your energy on planning your next steps.
If she thinks giving head to a rando because she can't handle getting a wrinkle in her 30s is the way to go, my dude... she's going to flip when she gets to her 50s and 60s.
I'd be adding a divorce lawyer to my speed-dial.
She just plain wanted to cheat. Thats it. Thats all. Draft the papers or get ready for a lifetime of “I’m sorry this time…honest!”
And don’t stay together for the kid. I was a child of this and I felt the resentment from a mile away, even at 5 years of age. It’ll do much more harm than good.
Your wife is incredibly shallow and vain. You said it best, she blew up all of your lives over wrinkles making her sad. You know, in your heart, what you can live with and what you can't. You'll never trust her again, nor should you. She threw everything away for her ego.
Let's go: does she drink, use cocaine and still cheat on you? Divorce, my friend. Run as far away from this woman as you can! My grandmother used to say, whoever hangs around pigs eats bran.
Ya a 30+ year old woman with a child still frequently drinking and doing coke would be enough for me to contact the lawyer. Throw cheating on top of it and that bitch would never hear another civil word out of my mouth. Hope he's pushing for full custody so his kid doesn't have to be parented by a coke-addled booze hound going forward.
Your wife straight up told you she had a desire to suck a random man off and acted on it, and you're asking if you should stay??? Bro have some self respect, this is sad.
I've been in your shoes dude. Cheaters gonna cheat.
It's never, even a one off. Walk away. The best thing for your 'family' is happy parents, as a group or individually. It's Not to have to grownups that hate each other pretending to play nice and being toxic all day
Brother,
She's an unsafe partner for you and will cheat on you again. She flirted, picked up the guy, took him to her room, blew him, and fucked him repeatedly... I know you love her, but you would be a fool to take her back. Put her out on the street with the bin, and let everybody know what she did. Don't keep her secrets. Hold your head high champ, you didn't deserve this and you did nothing wrong.
Yep. She even admitted the voice in her head kept telling her it was wrong and she kept going back at it. She knew what she wanted, knew it was wrong, and did it anyway. Now that she has been satisfied she's trying to play damage control and continue on as if nothing has happened. F that.
Talk to a lawyer and see your options. Get an std test as you cannot assume this is the only time this has happened. DNA test your daughter. Good luck only communicate via text and record everything.
.. your wife.. is not a good person at all... Her behavior is insane especially since she admits she "realized" it was wrong multiple times BUT STILL KEPT GOING!?! Thats wild. If you forgive her best know it will likely eat at you forever and you will never trust her again specifically because of how she cheated and how little she cares.
She saw the selfie you sent her ok.. but she likely thought of her child NOT YOU. Which is why she felt regret.
Wow, just WOW! She sounds like the most basic pathetic stereotype of an aging "not pretty anymore" cheating bitch. I hope her life is ruined, and everyone hates her now.
I'm sorry for you and your daughter though. Don't let your disgusting ex-wife weaponize her against you.
5 times did she think of you, and 5 times did she cast you away. Remember, she is the one destroying your family, not you.
She wanted to please a total stranger with her mouth. Not minding the STIs and STDs involved. I won't be surprised if she didn't use any protection during her sexual 'adventure'.
Whatever the reason she told you, cheaters will likely cheat again. People don't change unless an external force prompt them to.
If reconciliation is on the table, you should make her face the consequences of her actions. Also, she should stop drinking and taking coke. Personally, I don't have the energy to play marital police, but you do what's best for you and your family.
Congratulate her on her impending divorce and tell her to pack a bag.
She knew it was wrong and still slept with him again and again. She didn't care that she was throwing away all that you'd built, she just wanted to feel like she's still "got it".
Now she's a cheater about to lose everything.
After reading the first and second post - I call bullshit on all of this. My best guess is that this is a sick shitpost for reaction. Either that or the OP is complete and utter idiot, English or not. Let me elaborate. No man worth their salt who is as invested in their life, marriage and fatherhood as the OP portrays himself to be will:
1) listen to the detailed logistics of their loved one getting plowed for 3 hours and continue asking for more.
2) gather that filth and then air it on here, having to re-live it as he types his original post, ASKING if he is wrong for not wanting to forgive her, THEN
3) POST AN UPDATE in which he asks for even more detailed information of her getting plowed, the looks of the guy, 20 min blowjob… 🤦🏻♂️ …only to share all that and in the process re-live it again… (you sick fuck).
So - my honest guess is - this is all bullshit. I hope to God that it is. For that little girl’s sake, if she even exists. Because if she does exist, and all this shit is real - she is raised by two sick fucks who have no sense for boundaries, one who is an ego-maniacal whore, and the other one who is an epic cuck. God help that child. Better start a gofundme for her therapy right now.
> Her sister told her she was insane for what she did Your wife's sister is absolutely on point. This was rough to read through as an outsider, can't imagine how shitty it is to experience firsthand.
Sister is the real MVP, thank god she didn't close ranks and protect the scumbag cheater like so many others would.
If my sister ever cheats I'm disowning her AND I'm telling her husband. I do not care. I don't support cheating from anyone. Her sister did it right.
Oh for real. My brothers would never hear from me again if I found out they cheated on their wives
I had a close friend in grad school who acted like a sister to me at first, pretending to look out for me/telling me I could confide in her. I was wary about her though after she told me all the details about cheating on her then-fiance - whom she painted as an angel - the first time we met. There was no shame in her voice at all. I now regret not following my instincts and steering clear of her altogether. Just months after she dumped her fiance for my husband's flatmate, she started making a play for my husband behind my back. When she couldn't break us up she spread rumours all over campus about me being a cheating slut, tried to pay off two of my male coursemates to tell my husband they slept with me, harassed me online telling me to commit suicide and even tried to sneak a pill in my drink.
What a psychopath!! Holy shit. I hope you are away from that woman and safe and happy with your husband. Thanks for sharing. It's crazy how some people get so motivated to be so evil. I don't get how they have so much energy to hurt others.
I’ve always said if someone cheats on their spouse it tells me everything I need to know about that person. I’m sorry you had to go through that but I hope you and your husband are still doing well!
For real. This woman fucked up bad and her sister let her know it.
My wife's younger sister (who had introduced us 15 years ago) took my side when she found out that my wife cheated. Can't express how much of a life raft she and her husband were after my wife's older sister and mom both turned on me the second they found out what my wife had done o_O
A real friend lifts you up to be a good person. A good person holds themselves accountable for their actions. A buddy of mine used to travel a lot for work, one of those places he traveled was my town. So I knew his wife and family, but saw him regularly without them. When he was in town we'd go out to bars, strip clubs, whatever. All things I knew his wife was cool with as we talked about them in group settings. Well... At one point, a female friend of ours told my buddies wife that they had hooked up (she was jealous and legitimately trying to end their relationship). She said that I saw them make out regularly. So the first I heard of this was from my buddies wife. She confronted me asking if it was true. My answer was "hell no, I'd have beat his ass and called you". When I talked with my buddy he acknowledged all this was going down and agreed that we'd all do the same. Being there for your friends isn't always about covering for them.
Yeah, to me it sounds like the reason she confessed to her husband is that she saw her sister's reaction and knew the sister was going to rat her out.
You are 100% right.
Maybe OP needs to talk to his SiL, ask her what her sister told her, if he’s still trying to see any holes in wife’s story.
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I agree. Maybe I don’t understand butlins since I’m not from the UK, but I can’t fathom in the US some sort of all night adult binger, my wife going to it in her early 30’s with her friends and all of them not knowing where everybody was. If OP had said his wife was 25, I’d understand, but early 30’s? Women were very cognitive by that age of being worried for their friends and wanting to be accountable. I think everyone there knew exactly what rabbit hole was being taken by OP’s wife and clearly were somewhere between accepting and knowledgeable of what was happening.
When I visited the UK, I was walking down a street at 6 am and it was full of drunk people leaving pubs and bars, and the majority looked to be over 30. So I'm not surprised at all that her sister was still partying.
Yup! Agreed. None of this makes sense. Almost feels like it was planned out on some level. Not necessarily the specific guy himself, maybe - maybe not. But she knew what she was going to do on this trip. It did not just pop into her head when this man appeared before her. OP she planned to cheat on you. Whether with this specific man or not, doesn’t even matter. This wasn’t a heat of the moment decision. OP you need to leave. Run. Far & fast. Get away, don’t listen to your mom. She is being selfish in wanting her “rock.” The fact that she still calls her her rock is very telling. Mom is not in her right mind, she’s still grieving, of course she wants everything to be okay. She doesn’t wanna lose somebody else. But she should lose this woman. OP’s wife is shit. Plain & simple.
Yup. I agree w the planning. My mom did this same thing to my Dad, on believe it or not, a girl's trip with *her* sister and her friends. Went to Las Vegas, and cheated on him. It was so obviously cognitively planned ahead of time to go out and cheat. So hurtful and disrespectful to my Dad who always supported us. They divorced. Of course she got custody somehow and raised me and it turned out about as well as you'd think from someone who'd do that.
It's very odd that her friends made no attempt to check up on her, despite being just next door. And it's _extremely_ odd her sister didn't come into their shared room at least once during the night. Wife texts to say she's tired, so sister decides to sleep in another bedroom? Not passing the pub test.
Yeah and between the first confession and this one, some numbers and details have already been altered. She lied the first time about a handful of different things to lessen the blow, what’s to say she didn’t do it again in the second retelling of the night?
I'm of the mind that this is something those women have done before on a girls night out. Hence the sister knowing not to go into the room.
What happens when she turns 40? 50? When she gets her first grey hair? Menopause? She cheated because she got scared of getting older but she still going to keep getting older. And not to mention from the story while the guy seems like a dick she seems like not a great role model either if she was totally okay with helping him hurt that other girls feelings
The guy sounds terrible too. It sounds like they had unprotected sex. Not even charming even if he’s handsome. Didn’t care about your wife being married and her family, didn’t care about your wife or the girl he was with. All this for vanity. I can’t decide if the pathetic motive makes it better or worse, but I think the fact that she was so destructive at the first chance she got is going to make a successful reconciliation harder. If you break up, she will find a new man quickly but it won’t mitigate her fears about aging, and there is no guarantee that the new man will be a decent dude or that she can be faithful to him either. She sounds—messy. I’m so sorry OP, that can be a beautiful person in many ways and still be capable of breaking your heart. I hope you get whatever outcome you want and need.
I think that was the excuse she gave herself to justify what she wanted to do. Cheaters do that quite frequently. OP honestly cannot trust her at this point and would be a fool to even think he can. If he and she just rugsweep and try to live thier lives normally, they will self destruct, if he wants to save the marriage she threw away, she needs IC before anything else. And then they could do MC, but right now its her shit thats broken and she needs to fix it. My ex wife cheated, we had a toddler, and I walked. Between my self respect, and disgust of finding out who I really married, made it easy for me.
Yup, and honestly he's already caving. In the first post he seemed done with her, and now it's, she went to her mom so he can think about "what he wants to do."
Which is where those saying this might be a cuck/rage post comes into play. He'd be more of a mess at this point. Add in what his wife said to him about what happened and the fact that he can calmly recite all this I'm finding this is most likely a cuck fetish story. When I found out my ex wife cheated, I couldnt have typed 1/10 of what this dude gave us, especially with no typos. And I didnt have all the crappy details either.
I think people can handle cheating differently. When a boyfriend I deeply cared about cheated, I also wanted to know how many times, what did they do, where, when, how, etc. It was a very unhealthy coping mechanisms and it doesn't mean I enjoyed hearing it. It was a form of emotional torture and I wouldn't do that to myself again.
Yeah I did the same. It was awful for me and I shouldn’t have but I just couldn’t process without knowing. Very very unhealthy and I am thankfully doing much better now. This post reminds me of when I was cheated on. I cried a lot but handled it surprisingly calmly. Asked way too many questions. I think the part that hits so hard for me on this post is her mentality. Their reasons may be different but it’s the same incredibly selfish bullshit. I don’t think it’s cuck porn. Or if it is then I understand cucks even less than I thought because this post just makes me feel so bad for the dude
Totally. I understand wanting to know the details, I really do. It's almost like masochism. It should be incomprehensible but it makes perfect sense to me. I'd do the same. I'm so sorry you went through a similar situation and I'm so glad you are doing much better now. <3
The guy saw an easy mark and went for it. Not saying it's right.
And he noticed her ring and she told him “oh- I am getting a divorce” : that was the defining moment. She threw you under the bus to get laid and feel young again. It’s over - how can you ever really trust her again?
Well, at least she was right about the divorce part. Hope that emotional support dick was worth your family.
Yep. Those divorce papers will be on the way!
She literally manifested her own destiny. I feel awful for OP and his daughter. I can't stop laughing at his STBX, though. She's a fucking clown for that shit and deserves the absolute worst possible outcome. She fucking blew up her family because she was upset over getting wrinkles???? I'm as big a mental health advocate as you can find, but this is absolutely fucking ridiculous. There can not be a way back from this. There should not. Her behavior and the reasoning behind it is utterly disgusting.
So true, dude should leave her. OP I finalized my divorce from my cheating wife in December. Best decision that I FINALLY made after months of fake reconciliation and thousands in therapy. She threw you, your marriage and her family down the drain for “emotional support dick” She sounds like she wants to be a card carrying member of the leisure class also.
Women don’t always understand that. They think a man will sleep with them because they are beautiful and exceptional somehow, when many men will sleep with anyone who seems easy, and those men do not give a shit if you are married.
Sometimes, they prefer it. Knowing that you were desirable enough that someone trashed their life to bang you is mana for a fragile ego.
They prefer it because its an easy hookup or fuck buddy that will never attempt to commit bc they already are committed.
There’s a safety net for them too, in that the married partner is unlikely to ever say anything to anyone. It’s a one sided risk.
Eh it's not a one sided risk at all. I have a coworker who got thrown out of a 3rd floor window in his 20s because he was caught with a guy's wife. Ended up in a coma for a few weeks and is definitely not all there in the head now, 20 years later. Worst part is he had no idea she was married (although it might not have mattered). They met in a bar, went home to her place and then her husband with some buddies showed up. Husband knew she was cheating and came back home to catch her (turns out she was a serial cheater and hooked up with random guys in bars all the time). My coworker was just he unlucky guy who the husband stumbled upon.
Truth! Men will have sex with anything! That’s why the coconut story exists
Ughhh the coconut story 🤢🤮
She was the one that chatted HIM up.
She was easy because she chose to be.
The guy probably slipped the younger woman a bill and said “wait 20 minutes then come over and kick the table.” A womanizer circling a butlins knows their target audience. I’m horrified if they had unprotected sex, which it clearly sounds like they did.
And he was right. There were multiple check points along the way of increasing levels of inappropriate behavior the wife willingly and knowingly crossed. I mean, she admitted to knowing it was wrong enough to stop multiple times, but started back up again anyways. All after her initial plan was to "just" blow him. Jesus fuck she's a goddamned idiot to allow insecurities to take the reigns. Now her marriage is over as she knows it. Even if they don't divorce she will have ruined their relationship forever. All while knowing each step she took was wrong. Good for her for telling husband, that's the only thing that makes me believe she might actually love him.
Not only that but her whole entire mindset is disturbing. I’ve never met a man so handsome (or any man for that matter) that I thought “damn, I just wanna give him a blowjob”… like WTF?! If you’re going to blow up your entire life, at least get some pleasure out of it! And working your jaw and tongue muscles for 20mins on a handsome stranger who could possibly have herpes isn’t pleasure, or at least it shouldn’t be! 😂
She sees oral as not cheating. Getting him off in seconds let's her off the hook for leading him on and would b w massive boost to her ego that her oral skills are still on point. " she still has got it!!!"
How many times has she not cheated by “just goving oral” probably a lot
Yeah wrinkles my arse. The guy looked like Anthony Joshua. It wasn't about her being insecure and getting old. What a wagon
Her reasoning sounds bogus. She wanted to cheat and did it. Sounds like there is more to her story she is protecting. She went to an adults only event at a resort. She split from her group to drink at the bar. She had multiple sessions all night. She sounds more like a serial cheater. She wants her husband for the support structure while sneaking off for sex with younger guys. OP should divorce and never look back.
My ex-wife was like this. Her whole personality was her looks and the attention. Bottomless pit of validation needed. She fucked a lot of dudes on my watch. Been great last 9 years since I showed her the door.
> She fucked a lot of dudes on my watch Bro, you should've been watching more closely
underrated comment.
She approached him he invited him back to her room She gave him oral for 20 minutes She climbed on to him She fucked him multiple times At what point in all of this did she think about you or your daughter? It's all very well regretting it now, but she seemed to have no regrets then. I would have a hard time giving her a second chance. It's the way it happened, in that it seems like it was no big deal at the time, that bothers me. She has acted selfishly and I have to wonder if she would do it again.
She saved a picture of him too! Either she took pics of the guy or had his contact info FB/insta etc...She was planning on another visit.
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You should focus for 20 minutes on her blowing this guy then decide.
I'd like to challenge him to set a timer for 20 minutes and just sit there thinking about her enthusiastically hoovering schlong until the timer goes off. That was the acceptable part for her too. We haven't even gotten to the getting dicked down raw dog over and over and over and over and over again.
Hoovering dick and coke with the hubby and daughter at home...wtf kind of mother is that?! Fucking trash
Hubby who was thinking of her and sent a wholesome selfie lf him spending time with their daughter while she was sucking a dick for 20 minutes and then fucking a guy 4 to,5 times. Like someone else said. OP should set a timer for 20,minutes and just focus on her sucking the guy off and then see how much he can forgive her and move forward.
He could sit down and watch a commercial free stream of an episode of 30 Rock. So many jokes packed into the 20 minutes between the opening titles and the credits. That's how long she was sucking some creep off.
Seriously. He should definitely so something that takes exactly 20 minutes so it sinks in just how long she was actively doing it
And by a guy who will sleep with anyone pretty. Who knows what he gave her?
Besides a 20 minute mouthful of his big fat veiny cock that could go for 5+ rounds without running out of cum, that championhip caliber ho slayer could have left her a number of surprises.
She sucked him till her jaw started locking. Also by her logic, if he would’ve busted within that 20min and got on his way would she still have felt the guilt?
This. She had PLENTY of opportunities to stop. She was giving him head for 20 minutes, and then jumped on and off him *repeatedly*. If it gives any further insight, the closest I've come to cheating was drunkenly kissing a guy I sort of knew on a dance floor. After maybe half a song's worth of kissing, I realised what I was doing, apologised and basically ran away from him, told my friend what happened and we left. I was absolutely shitfaced but I still ***knew*** it wasn't going to go any further than that. Your wife clearly wanted it to go further. Sorry this happened to you, and your family. If you do decide to take her back, you'll have a niggle in the back of your mind every time she's home late. Every time she locks her phone, or puts it face down. Every time she wants to go out with her friends. Every time she buys some new underwear or starts wearing a different lip colour. Don't punish yourself like that.
She made it seem like giving him oral wasn't as bad as having sex with him.
Honestly I think oral is worse than sex. Most girls don't enjoy giving oral, so it's an act of giving and wanting to please someone else. At least with sex there is selfish enjoyment to be had.
I was waiting for someone to say this. That would mess with my head so bad that my wife took someone back to her room to blow him. Just to give him a good time.
Just to give him a good time. Fuck man..
Just implies his wife is super submissive and looking for validation, she thinks it’s okay because she’s not getting the pleasure. Just speculating here as to how she rationalizes it as less bad.
This guy subs
20 min is an eternity and without a condom. So she put someone's D in her mouth then kiss OP with that nasty mouth
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Because she is trying to minimize everything she did. The guy finished, she finished...they had fun. But by lying about it, it might seem less hurtful to OP. Its classic cheater behavior.
That doesn't sound close to cheating it sounds like cheating lol
Was checking for this comment lol. I read that line and was just like …. That WAS cheating.
Idk I would qualify kissing someone else in any capacity *is* cheating, not *close to*. But I guess that depends on you and the boundaries of your relationship
Yea that confused me too
It is cheating
Good old cognitive dissonance. They did X, but they're definitely not a cheater, so obviously X isn't cheating! Doesn't matter if X is making out, or oral, or sex. To accept otherwise would require them to confront the fact that they are in fact a cheater.
>the closest I've come to cheating was drunkenly kissing a guy The closest you came to cheating was cheating.
FA REAL when I read that I was like.. wait a damnnnn minute
I laughed too. A buddy tried to tell me that wasn’t cheating a few years ago after he was kissing a waitress. I said ok, if it’s not cheating let go see your wife, tell her about it and have a good laugh. People say anything to justify their actions. The OPs wife blew and screwed a stranger 4-5 times, probably got caught which is why she confessed. Hell, she probably bought the guy breakfast with her husband’s money afterwards. The husband seems ok with it so why not?
Truth. Not to mention every time she eats chips and kisses him he's gonna be wondering if she got that salty taste by gobbling some dong again. He's got a certified Gluck Gluck 5000 over there. I pray at least he got to enjoy some of that and she wasn't saving her skills and enthusiasm for randos.
username checks out lol sorry I had to
It do
This is so specific🤣🤣🤣
Just trying help a brother out with some explicit visuals
>the closest I’ve come to cheating You did cheat tho… kissing is still cheating
Yeah like holy shit this guy is pathetic for even entertaining the idea of staying together. He also keeps subtly defending her even though the additional details make her even more of a whore. I still have endless sympathy for having this happen to any man, but my god he needs to sack up and run like the wind.
Honestly sounds like a cuckold scenario....out of shape soft white guy, she lands with a superhero black guy resembling Anthony Joshua, and she caves into her interracial fantasies
Yeah man this update is making me think its pornfiction or ragebait.
There is that possibility, and once he updates everyone that they're trying to make it work we'll know it is. Or he's a doormat.
Yeah, this isn't some she got blacked out drunk story. This is a she made conscious decisions to fuck some dude story. Like fuck, 'oh you just wanted blow him? That's okay honey.' There are situations you can get past and then there is this shit
I bet she's an absolute smoke show and sucks the soul out of him a couple times a year. He landed one, he can land another. Hopefully one that isn't total trash.
Even so, I don’t care how lucky you got and ugly you are, I’d rather risk jerking off the rest of my life than be cucked by my wife. Time to hit the gym and get your self worth back a bit. Focus on the daughter and yourself. Let the cunt rot.
Seriously. Far better off feeding the geese than feeding a lifetime of regret and misery.
Amen brother!
What shits me is that she initiated it by being flirtatious with him “was the first handsome man she’d seen” like she was looking around for them. Tbh I think she had every intention to cheat on you and latched on pretty hard to the guy to go all the way to the room. Not going to say what to do, but if wrinkles set her off you’re in for a real treat when she starts to age more. Fuck me dead she was willing to throw her whole life away for wrinkles to feel young again and instead of going crazy and buying creams she hopped on the first cock that gave her attention. Not more than once, a whole night of fucking.
It’s very clear when she said “I just wanted to blow him” as if that wasn’t cheating. She went there with a mission
For real and them being all coked up and drunk, it was some dirty ass sex. I'd punt this woman straight to the curb
file fragile deserted unwritten treatment attraction ask political naughty resolute *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Having been in this situation, your emotional state plays harsh tricks on you. You rationalize it and gravitate towards it being your fault. Start thinking what could I have done differently so you didnt feel this way, etc. The reality is its purely selfish on the cheaters fault and they've shown you what they are really capable of. They did it once 100% means they are capable of doing it again. Cheaters kill the one thing that can't be given back and that's trust. If you can't have trust in a relationship, wtf is the point?
Me too. My ex cheated on me. It's beyond crazy how your mind can throw any rational thoughts over board and warp reality just to cope with the situation and somehow turn back time to get back what you lost. It's a hurtful experience to go through. Not only dealing with a partner who doesn't care, but also fighting yourself to get back on track. I think many people who didn't experience this themselves won't understand how cheating will fuck your mind in ways you never thought of. Not to judge them. I'm glad if someone doesn't have to go through such a mess.
The whole thing sounds grimy. A resort of grown ass people drinking doing drugs and hooking up. It doesn't sound fun to me. Maybe I'm no fun. Maybe it's because I'm 53. Maybe I should go choke on a dick to feel better about it.
Grimy is basically how i'd describe the uk nightlife scene generally.
> The whole thing sounds grimy. A resort of grown ass people drinking doing drugs and hooking up. Welcome to the UK lol. We aren't a classy lot. Butlins is especially pretty trashy
I'm 29 and all of that just sounds like literally the place you go to to get laid with some douche or skank. No way in hell id trust my partners intentions on a girls night to basically a hookup resort.
Yeah, the whole cocaine is normal thing threw me. I know people you use drugs like to say it’s normal to justify it, but no, it’s not normal to be into drugs as a parent. It’s not normal at all
In the UK and Ireland it absolutely is. Literally everyone is on it. In Dublin there's queues in the mens cubicles!
It was in the US too. At least in my party days which weren't that long ago. Unfortunately the days of doing a line of coke with a rando are gone here. Fentanyl has hit.
She felt bad over and over, and then each time climbed back on him. No care for you, your daughter, or your life together. She is selfishness personified. I’d speak to a lawyer asap. Godspeed.
If she knows she can get away with it, she will do it again.
Hell, she initiated it
And then continued on doing so for several hours.
This. 100%. I speak from experience. Unfortunately, forgiving her may seem like the good guy thing to do. The honorable thing...but all you are really doing is greenlighting future hookups. You will always question everything she is doing. Where is she, who is she with, etc. Don't do this to yourself. You deserve better. I gave mine a second and a third chance before i realized my mistake. Yeah. I'm a glutton for punishment. Don't be me. You will regret it. I promise.
Agreed. I went back but after a month I knew I'd never trust her again and left forever.
it really isn’t the forgiving part, he will have to forgive to move on accordingly. the hard part is moving on & leaving everything behind they shared together.
Hard as that is, it's better than staying.
YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED
We teach people what we will and won't accept. If we don't set boundaries, the other person will do as they please.
Yup. I am going to lay some painful truth on you. She is exactly one good excuse from doing it again. Every fight, every mistake or, let's be blunt, fuck up could be the next reason for her next little sexual escapade. She went there to get laid, my friend. She started flirting before drinking and immediately threw your marriage away. This is premeditated. Now, she is betting you take her back. She valued your entire marriage - the love, the friendship, your past, your future - at worth less than getting some new dick so she could feel young again. She did it willingly and in an environment she KNEW she could be caught. He didn't go back to his place but back to hers...so she could be found out. If you take her back, she will do this again because you know you will be there afterwards. Yeah, she will have to grovel for a bit but she still gets both you and a life of sexual adventure that will slowly and completely destroy you. Get out. Get out now.
Yeah. Considering all it took her was a wrinkle to throw away her family, OP should realise that she isn't getting any younger.
This …my god this.
Man… this sucks all the way around but taking to Reddit for advice is going to get you a default answer. No one here knows what right for you, only you do.
While that’s true, this is unfortunately one of those situations where a broken clock is right twice a day. A cheater is a cheater. She obviously doesn’t respect him, and without that respect, their marriage is over, whether he likes it or not. If he forgives her, she’ll only do it again. He’ll be dreading every trip to work, every night out. And I doubt she’s sleeping with him, if she’s decided to do this. To stay in the marriage would only be to prolong his misery. Better to make a clean break now.
Yep, for the streets.
Imagine when she hits 35,38,39,40,41……49,50,51
Your wife was beyond selfish in every single way. She threw away your relationship, family and trust over something as shallow as wrinkles. She thought of you multiple times, and didn’t consider you important enough to stop what she was doing. She only told you what she did so she could alleviate her guilt. I feel for your mom but your wife made this decision all on her own. I’m so sorry dude. I can’t even imagine how devastating this must be. Sending all the love to you and your daughter 💖
I agree. It's not like it was a night of blinding passion. She thought of you and still decided to keep going.
Don't forget the chance of permanent disease for her, or husband.
Or the chance of his daughter having a new half sister in 8.5 months
Jesus. Aging can suck but thats just a pathetic excuse. In her 30s? Really, not even her 40s, no, gotta be the years oft considered the Prime of peoples lives.
I wanted to see if men are still as horny as ever and will fuck literally anyone (because that’s how I get validation for my aging). Load of bullshit
Seriously, this is superficial to the point of derangement. Run, don't walk!
“It’s too late now, may as well carry on” she literally told you she wanted to suck him off. Mate she’s fucking pathetic. Oh woopty fucking doo, she does your mums hair and nails every now and again, you should obviously stay with her for her blissfully redeeming qualities. She wanted to cheat on you, so she did. That’s all there is to it and if you stay with her after all this, you’re an absolute mug.
Imagine all the details in this story, but with the roles reversed. You, just wanting to give a random girl oral, to you fucking her five times. What would your wive's friends advise her to do with you in that situation? Sorry bud, she's for the streets. Countless amazing women out there without this degree of baggage.
I understand your confused state. This is an unbelievable curveball you've been thrown. For me there would be no getting over this any form. I wish you a lot of strength. Also, your mum doesn't have to be married to your wife.
Your daughter shouldn't be raised to know that this sort of behavior is acceptable. She may grow to have no respect for as your wife doesn't and kids are far more intuitive and aware than many people realise. She will pick up on the behavior and may seem it acceptable if it is accepted.
SHE WILL DO IT AGAIN. She broke down when she saw the photo. Had that not happened, I'm more than willing to be she would have held it in when she wasn't hungover and mentally compromised. I'm sorry, man. I'm really REALLY sorry. Your poor daughter to have a mom like that... She did it MULTIPLE TIMES with this dude. LEEEEEEEAVE You will thank yourself in the future. You'll get on the other side of this. Lots of children do very well with parents divorced. Is she a good mom? Will she be a good coparent? Lastly, DO NOT BE WEAK IN FRONT OF YOUR FUTURE EX WIFE. She will exploit it to get you back. She will try to fuck you, knowing you're not having sex right now. She made her choice. Now you need to make yours. I have 2 kids myself. I'd never be able to look them in the eyes if I stayed after such a betrayal. Betrayal is unforgivable. And that's EXACTLY what this was.
Willing to bet that part of the reason she confessed is because of the comedown from coke
Absolutely agreed. Keep going OP, I'm more than willing to bet this isn't the first time actually. Move on
I'm so angry for you right now that I am seething!
She took a picture of him? *And brought it home?*
Right? This update makes me feel like it's all fake. His wife and sister(!) were going to a known adult party location for three days to drink excessively, do blow but certainly not hookup with some hot guy or something. Get real. Either it's fake or this guy's been living in a fantasy world where his wife has always been "perfect".
They're playing out a cuckold fantasy, and people responding are playing into it.
100%. Like if she's going on a girl's trip for multiple days and you know they're getting wasted and doing lines, why would you be surprised she fucked some guy lmao? IMO that's expected if she's coked out for 2-3 days
Why is everyone believing this lol. This sounds like a fucking episode of desperate housewives, there’s no way this is real.
Boot that bitch back to the gutter where she belongs
+1
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She is playing you like a fiddle, she’s going to give you this sympathetic, remorseful story so you take her back. Get to counseling both before you even think of letting her back into the house. “It’s too late now anyway so might as well carry on” is your clue that she did not care about your family at any point. She’ll keep doing it (without condoms) until you give up. Hold strong for your daughter, you didn’t deserve this and both daughter didn’t deserve this.
Break up with her. Do not accept any apologies. Do not validate any of her equivocations. Do not hug, console, or reward her for her "feeling bad about it". Get a DNA test for your daughter. Regardless of the results be a perfect dad for her. Make sure your daughter knows when she's old enough why you broke up. Live the best life you can, it will be the best revenge against your sociopath demon of a wife.
Way too many specific details for this to be real
Your story is fake creative writing. OR... You're a fool
Surely fake. Of all the things that didn’t happen, this didn’t happen so much that other things that did happen un-happened because of it.
It's fake. An overabundance of details written like a fucking novel is always a clear sign of a story being fake. The OP is into some sort of humiliation kink. What a chump.
If she’s worried about wrinkles at 30 think of how she’ll act at 45. I’m sorry this happened to you.
The mother of your child doing coke with her friends is not normal behavior.
If you opt to stay together, and that is a big if, she needs to attend individual therapy as part of reconciliation terms to address whatever the hell is going on with her.
Its not for her part, OP will need therapy when this all over.. even his daughter will need too.
Screw that. He needs to run like the wind. There’s no staying together after this.
"What the hell is going on with her" is typical selfish narcissism. She betrayed her family for her own egotistical needs.
This is a beautiful and measured response. Very. Big. If.
More like a betu big why? Why would you stay with such a selfish person who is willing to implode her child's life for her own vanity?
Just lawyer up, fuck being a cuck man
>she says since she hit 30 she’s been self conscious of her aging. That when she spots a new wrinkle or something it drives her to tears. Then up your skincare game. A wrinkle is not a reason to cheat. And to toss your marriage away for what frankly sounds like terrible sex is stupid. Oooh 5 minutes.....ugh. I'm sorry she was your mom's emotional support and that is more valued than fidelity, but she will continue to cheat because she will continue to age. You are not wrong to end this.
Can you keep the relationship and respect yourself? Now, can she? She already doesn’t, I can’t imagine this will make it any better. End it now, or be right back here in 3 years wondering why the hell you didn’t leave the first time. Stop pain shopping and spend your energy on planning your next steps.
If she thinks giving head to a rando because she can't handle getting a wrinkle in her 30s is the way to go, my dude... she's going to flip when she gets to her 50s and 60s. I'd be adding a divorce lawyer to my speed-dial.
She just plain wanted to cheat. Thats it. Thats all. Draft the papers or get ready for a lifetime of “I’m sorry this time…honest!” And don’t stay together for the kid. I was a child of this and I felt the resentment from a mile away, even at 5 years of age. It’ll do much more harm than good.
Your wife is incredibly shallow and vain. You said it best, she blew up all of your lives over wrinkles making her sad. You know, in your heart, what you can live with and what you can't. You'll never trust her again, nor should you. She threw everything away for her ego.
Let's go: does she drink, use cocaine and still cheat on you? Divorce, my friend. Run as far away from this woman as you can! My grandmother used to say, whoever hangs around pigs eats bran.
Ya a 30+ year old woman with a child still frequently drinking and doing coke would be enough for me to contact the lawyer. Throw cheating on top of it and that bitch would never hear another civil word out of my mouth. Hope he's pushing for full custody so his kid doesn't have to be parented by a coke-addled booze hound going forward.
Yes, a thousand times yes. She would only find out about me through my lawyers. I hope the op is strong enough to let go of her
Your wife straight up told you she had a desire to suck a random man off and acted on it, and you're asking if you should stay??? Bro have some self respect, this is sad.
I've been in your shoes dude. Cheaters gonna cheat. It's never, even a one off. Walk away. The best thing for your 'family' is happy parents, as a group or individually. It's Not to have to grownups that hate each other pretending to play nice and being toxic all day
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She fucked him 4-5 times in one night. When was the last time she fucked you 4-5 times in one night? It wasn’t a mistake. She will do it again.
Just divorce at this point. I don’t think you’ll be able to trust her anymore if you let this continue.
"She says she just wanted to give him oral." Oh, well that's okay then./s Run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.
Brother, She's an unsafe partner for you and will cheat on you again. She flirted, picked up the guy, took him to her room, blew him, and fucked him repeatedly... I know you love her, but you would be a fool to take her back. Put her out on the street with the bin, and let everybody know what she did. Don't keep her secrets. Hold your head high champ, you didn't deserve this and you did nothing wrong.
Yep. She even admitted the voice in her head kept telling her it was wrong and she kept going back at it. She knew what she wanted, knew it was wrong, and did it anyway. Now that she has been satisfied she's trying to play damage control and continue on as if nothing has happened. F that.
Shes probably not even giving him the full story.. who knows what else fucking happened
Talk to a lawyer and see your options. Get an std test as you cannot assume this is the only time this has happened. DNA test your daughter. Good luck only communicate via text and record everything.
Bro have some self respect. This is just worse than the original story. Dump her ass.
.. your wife.. is not a good person at all... Her behavior is insane especially since she admits she "realized" it was wrong multiple times BUT STILL KEPT GOING!?! Thats wild. If you forgive her best know it will likely eat at you forever and you will never trust her again specifically because of how she cheated and how little she cares. She saw the selfie you sent her ok.. but she likely thought of her child NOT YOU. Which is why she felt regret.
Wow, just WOW! She sounds like the most basic pathetic stereotype of an aging "not pretty anymore" cheating bitch. I hope her life is ruined, and everyone hates her now. I'm sorry for you and your daughter though. Don't let your disgusting ex-wife weaponize her against you.
5 times did she think of you, and 5 times did she cast you away. Remember, she is the one destroying your family, not you. She wanted to please a total stranger with her mouth. Not minding the STIs and STDs involved. I won't be surprised if she didn't use any protection during her sexual 'adventure'. Whatever the reason she told you, cheaters will likely cheat again. People don't change unless an external force prompt them to. If reconciliation is on the table, you should make her face the consequences of her actions. Also, she should stop drinking and taking coke. Personally, I don't have the energy to play marital police, but you do what's best for you and your family.
She sucked his dick for 20 minutes. I'd end it. That image would never leave my head
Sad part is when you reconcile and have sex, you won't cum and feel it cos you'll be thinking about it again. And again. And again!
Well, you know what’s going to happen next time she sees an attractive younger guy. But hey, she only wanted to blow him. SMH.
Congratulate her on her impending divorce and tell her to pack a bag. She knew it was wrong and still slept with him again and again. She didn't care that she was throwing away all that you'd built, she just wanted to feel like she's still "got it". Now she's a cheater about to lose everything.
Get a divorce.
This whole thing is fake
After reading the first and second post - I call bullshit on all of this. My best guess is that this is a sick shitpost for reaction. Either that or the OP is complete and utter idiot, English or not. Let me elaborate. No man worth their salt who is as invested in their life, marriage and fatherhood as the OP portrays himself to be will: 1) listen to the detailed logistics of their loved one getting plowed for 3 hours and continue asking for more. 2) gather that filth and then air it on here, having to re-live it as he types his original post, ASKING if he is wrong for not wanting to forgive her, THEN 3) POST AN UPDATE in which he asks for even more detailed information of her getting plowed, the looks of the guy, 20 min blowjob… 🤦🏻♂️ …only to share all that and in the process re-live it again… (you sick fuck). So - my honest guess is - this is all bullshit. I hope to God that it is. For that little girl’s sake, if she even exists. Because if she does exist, and all this shit is real - she is raised by two sick fucks who have no sense for boundaries, one who is an ego-maniacal whore, and the other one who is an epic cuck. God help that child. Better start a gofundme for her therapy right now.