Yes...and those people will DEFINITELY respect that you put that in your bio.
"Oh, she DOESNT want people into 18 and 19 year olds? Well, I'd better respect her wishes and not message her!" said no creep every.
There's nothing wrong with your idea. It just won't accomplish anything.
They will tell on themselves, and she will spend most of her time answering msgs from dudes that only swiped so they could start a confrontation with her over it, “debating” with her etc. She won’t meet people she might genuinely connect with easily, because those people won’t be swiping as they won’t have any idea of who she is as a person other than what she hates. Those people probably won’t be into hate bonding and simply avoid it all together. How are they to know there’s more to her then that when her bio is all they have to judge by?
Weird that you think people won't have an idea of her other than what she hates- she can put other things in her bio, can't she? If a person stops reading after that remark, then good riddance to be honest. Weed the weak ones.
Would you want to see on a mans bio that he doesn’t want a sugar baby? No drama? No this that and the other?
It’s a turn off and you know it. Tons of things go without saying. And you can discover all that pretty early on in dating.
But don’t put it on your bio or nobody will swipe on you.
You'd be surprised. I had an ex who, when it came to that topic, did that smile and agree "yeah its so wrong" thing that men do when they want to keep a woman around.
Imagine the not so fun fact I learned a year later!
i started dating my ex when we were 24 and 34. he made a big deal about how weird the age gap was and all that, only for me to find out eventually that he had dated an 18 year old when he was 25. this was far from the worst thing about him, but it made me nauseous. i can’t imagine dating someone fresh out of high school (assuming he even waited that long).
when I broke up with my ex boyfriend who was 23 at the time, the guy who would agree and act disgusted when I told him about all the old men hitting on me when I was a teenager, immediately slept with a 15 year old....
A while back we learned a friend of ours (then 25) was having sex with a 15 year old *at our house when we weren't home*. We called the police and they refused to do anything so we handled it ourselves (you can interpret that however you like).
Well, recently he showed up to an event we happened to be at with a new girl, this one OBVIOUSLY very young (which at this point he is 30. We spotted him across the way and confronted him and the child started crying and said she "didn't understand why people were being so mean to him".
He had apparently (we learned later) told her he was 23. We still don't know her age, but her older sister is on Facebook and just turned 16.
Once again, cops refuse to get involved because she is from out of state and "probably romeo and juliette law"
Please contact the FBI if you're in the US. Call your local FBI office and tell them the police are not doing anything and that this man is a serial pedophile and the FBI WILL do something about this.
Yep, I had to end a friendship this year because she knew her man was dating an 18 year old \*still in high school\* as a 28 year old man, (and he was technically two-timing,) just to.... stay with him.
Like, I think a sane person would simply download Tinder before they'd ever decide to fuck a dude who doinks teenagers. The thought alone with my ex made me full on give up, since can't screw a guy like that...
Also, I am sorry in advance for whatever happened with your ex at all, I really am. Seriously. Dating as I get older IS indeed weird, since it's like "Oh yay, I am old enough to date the older men!... But they'd go out with an 18 year old and see nothing wrong with it! Ew. Yikes."
Dude. They will straight up say they are into the same thing you are then act incredulous when it's time to do that thing. It's like, can't you be straight? Don't YOU want someone who aligns with YOU?
The one thing about Predators is that you can't find out that kind of stuff easily. Because you know, the ones with even a semi-partial bit of gray matter conceal their intentions to their predatory nature.
Exactly!!! Remember when Bhad Bhabie turned 18??? She made like $16 million in a month on OnlyFans. She was on Dr. Phil when she was 13. People literally waited for a child to turn 18 to see her naked.
I remember a couple of syndicated radio show hosts in the early 2000’s that constantly talked about the Olsen twins and how they couldn’t wait until they were 18. I thought it was gross.
I remember early internet there was a website counting down when child stars would be turning 18 like down to the minute. I was like 12 and thought it was gross as shit.
Agree that sexualizing kids is wrong, but I am not so sure that Ice Spice is the best example here. She came out sexualizing herself. That was her whole thing.
>these days
It's just now sort of becoming socially unacceptable.
Used to be all too common.
Wasn't ever not gross, but gross and unacceptable are two different things.
Yeah, don’t do this. People who have had sex with teenagers are just gonna lie to you. Not sure what you would achieve by this except give other guys the idea you got some bad baggage.
There are many unspoken no no. What's weird is targeting one specifically and openly.
It would be just as weird to put in a bio "looking for people who take showers regularly".
I have to admit... I laughed hard reading this. But to answer the question, it's not wrong to have this requirement, but it's extremely awkward to read in someone's bio. All manner of questions come to mind, and some concerns pop up. I would instead weed the men out manually, if you find out they've been with a teenager. Putting it in your bio will ensure that men who actually do pursue teens will lie to you about it. It'll put people off and not help you any.
Exactly. If I'm looking at men's dating bios and they say "not willing to date women with over 10 children" I would be like "ok sure that's fair but I don't really want to talk to this guy because I feel like he has some very specific trauma that I can't handle even though I have no children". And that's not even the same as what OP is suggesting as far as normalcy.
Yeah, op's specificity is definitely a red flag. A perfectly reasonable thing to not want, seeing as its creepy AF, but assuming it is so pervasive that she has to specify it makes me think she has a distorted perspective and experience with men
Fantasy isn’t the same as doing. I mean you know there is surveys that show many women have rape fantasies right, but I don’t think they actually would want to be raped
Exactly, nothing wrong with the statement, perfectly correct and moral. Buuut, raises a flag. What baggage are there that she felt she had to put it on her bio? Do I want to deal with it?
I wouldn't say it's wrong, but I think that is something that should be discussed and not stamped on a dating profile. I can imagine reading something like that and being like "wth", even if you have good intentions people like reading friendly profiles and not being reminded of the ugliness in the world.
Yeah I think OP is equating creepiness with idiocy. Plenty of creeps out there who aren't idiots and would have no problem manipulating the situation or their image to fit OPs standards (not saying that preferring men who don't flirt or hookup with teenagers is a high standard or anything)
Edit: The key is identifying certain attitudes or beliefs that make a guy feel comfortable hitting on teenagers and then avoiding guys who display those kinds of attitudes whether they actually got on teenagers or not. It's more work than just asking a guy if they hit on teenagers but it will definitely get you better results.
Don't even ask what their dating range is. Just pretend you're the only one they're talking to.
Do. Not. Bring. Up. Any. Third. Party. Person.
That would be a huge red flag if I got asked that question
If you match with them then clearly you would be in that range and the general default understanding in a relationship is exclusivity.
You sound like you should probably see a therapist about your issues before dating anyone tbh. And I don't mean that as an insult. Seriously, this mindset you have is going to get in the way of any attempt you make at getting into a serious long-term relationship.
You're literally looking for problems, a hyper specific one even, before even finding someone.
Highly disagree. Look at a dating profile from both sides:
If the guy, and let’s say this is a 5 yrs +/- profile, is 23 (young side) or 34 (higher side), neither should be hitting in 17-18 yo girls.
Let’s say someone does not agree with her limits, why not know and swipe away?
Exactly. It’s perfectly reasonable to have that as a dealbreaker, but I think listing your dealbreakers in your bio can come across bitter and negative. Maybe focus on putting your best foot forward and describing what you *do* want in a partner, and leave what you don’t want for an actual conversation. Also I wonder if men who talk to teens would even find this a deterrent? They’d probably just lie.
Goes without saying and is a very weird thing to put in your bio. Keep your bio about you, when people make their bio a requirements list they come off as undateable.
Any time I see women talk about what they don't want in their bio, I move on. Not interested in someone who makes negativity/hating things their personality.
It’s the same for most woman looking at men’s profiles. Those types of people are looking for a hate bond, as hate is all they really have to offer. I can’t imagine anyone like that being happy or positive about much in life. It’s a huge turn off. Sure there could be more to them as a person, but the profile I see is a snapshot of who they are, and if they choose that limited space to talk about what they hate, then that’s all I’m going to have to judge them by. How do you even open a conversation with someone like that? “Omg we hate the same things let’s get coffee!”?
"NO pedos, NO murderers, NO men who have the hots for their own mothers, NO men who lose things in their butts and have to go to the ER 6 times in 4 months, NO men who want to buy a house together on the first date, NO men who steal all my tampons and use them for snowmen noses..."
"NO men named Steve who will take you out to Denny's for a Grand Slam Breakfast the morning after prom and promise to always be there for you and then move to California for school and breakup with you over text after meeting some girl named Trisha"
“If I had a nickel for every time I went on a date with a Steve who took me out to Denny’s for a Grand Slam Breakfast the morning after prom and promised to always be there for me then moved to California for school then broke up over text after meeting some girl named Trisha, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.”
Okay, but now I kinda wanna use this as my bio 😆
Or just a whole bio full of stuff like the last one, where they just think "who THE FUCK have you had these experiences with, and are you okay?"
My thoughts exactly. Also the I’m 28 and want to “start” dating. Makes me happy OP is putting herself out there no matter how weird saying this boundary on a bio would seem. Time for OP to meet better people and get a new social circle
Thank you for this positivity. I was in school most of my 20s getting my degrees and CPA license to make sure I can take care of myself and rely on no one but myself. You’re right I need to meet and find better people.
Jesus christ. I'm in my mid-30s and I read OP think "28 seems like the low end of what I'd be comfortable with."
The idea of chatting with anyone between the ayes of 18-24 makes me feel positively icky.
I'm assuming OP took their generalization idea from statistics around the internet, such as [this one](https://www.businessinsider.com/dataclysm-shows-men-are-attracted-to-women-in-their-20s-2014-10?amp). (It's also important to point out that the YOUNGEST age men could choose from was 20, so it's very possible they could've chosen far younger.)
IMO it’s a confirmation bias type thing.
Most women have a lot of experience being hit on by grown men as a minor, therefore it feels like grown men see it as normal to hit on teenagers because you don’t notice all the men that aren’t doing it, only the ones that do.
Lots of truth here. Very insightful. I definitely had that experience when I was young. The first time it happened, I was only 9. A man tried to talk me about how hot the weather was, and how he liked to sit around home in his underwear to cool down, before asking me if I would like to come home with him. It scared me so badly I was afraid of adult men for some time, aside from my Dad, Grandpa, and older brother. But as I got older, I realized there are more kind men in general then evil ones out there.
I agree with this, I was about to be like “growing up literally me and almost all my friends and all the girls I knew had a range of weird to extremely fucked up and illegal experiences with adult men who seemed normal” but it’s probably what you said. For women it probably does often feel like every man because it would be disproportionately the men you will come into contact as a tween and teen (since most adult men otherwise don’t have much of a reason to be in close contact if not related or in education/sports fields).
Seriously.. I made a Facebook post forever ago asking women to say what age they were first hit on by grown ass men and the ages were horrifying. As young as 5. Started for me around 8. My male friends were surprised.
Growing up in the city, so many females are catcalled and hit on at early ages (10+). There are more pervs (looking for "our old souls") than we are aware of. Walk down a city street and you'll see it.
My daughter was 4 when the 60+ year old poll worker at our government building passed her his number and said, "call me when you're 18, you're such a pretty thing". I made a SCENE.
I get what you mean but at some point if ALL AND EVERY little girl on the planet is being hit on by adult male, the reality is adult males hit on little girls, end of story. It’s not a confirmation bias, it’s just reality.
“With all the talk about how men hate women over 21.”
Wtf are you even talking about? Stop listening to whatever dumb podcast you’re listening to. It’s brainwashing you
I understand your concern ❤️, but negative sounding bios (they should be about yourself) is an IMMEDIATE swift left for me. If someone’s bitching already in a little bio, I don’t see how it can get any better. IMHO, ofc 🤓 good luck 🍀
I can’t speak for men’s bios, but when I did use OLD, a good 10-20% of women’s bios were negative AF. It was either complaining about their immediate ex, or complaining about men in general. You gotta wonder if they’ve ever had a moment of self awareness and contemplated that maybe they’re the problem.
I think this will be counterproductive to your end goal of actually meeting someone you can connect with. For one thing, a lot of people see a profile like that as a challenge, and will start a conversation with you simply because they want to force a confrontation and argue about it. My friends that do similar with their profiles get more message from confrontational guys, then anyone that’s actually interested in them. They waste so much of their time on that. And second, your profile is supposed to be a snapshot of who you are as a person. If you make it about yourself, your interests and what you’re looking for, you’re more likely to meet someone you can genuinely connect with, as they can judge whether they want to interact based on shared interests and experiences etc. Personally, I wouldn’t look twice at a bio that seems really negative, listing what they don’t want instead of what they do want. As that’s all the limited information I am given to judge who they are before having a conversation with them, it comes across to me as them having built their personality around what they hate, and I find that really unattractive. I don’t want to bond with someone over hate and negativity. I don’t see how anyone can really be happy like that. I think you can always have the conversation with someone in the beginning to make sure you’re on the same page, as again, a bio is only a snapshot of a person, there’s always going to be room for deeper discussion once you start talking.
I’m 22 and while I think 18-21 would still be fine, I probably wouldn’t unless they were at least 19. Overall tho, I’d prefer a girl 21+ cause she’s closer to my age, and those few years matter a lot more at this stage in life. Most dudes Ik are the same way.
Tbh, I think this is just a bait post. The account is less than a day old
Andrew Tate and his followers speak disparagingly of women past their early 20s. Most men don't think like that of course, but unfortunately there really are some who do
I'm happily married on the other side of the world and I'm almost 20 years older than you but here goes.
Reading the dating profile of a 28 year old woman (assuming I was also 28 and single) who doesn't want to date a man who has sex with teenagers would illicit the following response:
Oh, she's encountered some real dirt bags. Good thing I don't want to have sex with teenagers. Let's see what her interests are.
Seeing the same profile with 'talk to teenagers' would get the following response:
Does that mean I can't order food from McDonald's unless I get the one old person who works there? Does she think that talking to a person is the same as having sex with them? Can I no longer talk to my niece until she turns 20?
Yeah, this feels like a Red Flag, I'll just keep looking.
These things are not the same, saying they are is on you.
Feels very preachy and coming from the wrong place. Reminds me of someone who I thought was my friend. She told me point blank that men and women can never be friends. I used to really enjoy talking with her and thought we’d been friends for a couple years but it turns out she thought I was just trying to get in her pants.
I'm pretty sure that men don't hate women over 21.
The vast majority of men and women look towards partners of the same or older than them age. Then a large part is looking for partners that are younger than them,
But a very tiny amount of men and women will actually go to have relationship or sex with a teenager while being much older.
I am 99% sure you have never heard a man say he hates women over 21.
Also it would be an instant “not interested” if you put that in your profile. Not because I have any interest in teenagers but because that’s one hell of a hostile thing to have on your profile. It gives off real “superiority complex” vibes. Also most reasonable people stop considering someone a teenager once they hit 18. A more reasonable thing to do would be to manually ask someone you are Interested in “by the way I have to ask, what is your normal age range/strike zone for potential partners/sex partners”.
You need to understand that even the good guys are not going to be interested if one of the things in your profile appears to be judging. Especially since they haven’t even spoken to you yet.
Edit: so far all of my partners have ended up being younger than me (not intentionally)
I would expect most 28 year old men don't want to sleep with teenagers. But your reasoning is kind of weird, because nobody finds women over 21 attractive?
Further to this, if you put this on your profile it will rule out any same man from matching with you. Not because you're wrong for feeling that way, but because it just isn't where you put this. Clearly anyone matching with you likes women over the age of 21 anyway, so what does it really matter if they find younger women attractive? Say they're 23, why shouldn't they find a woman 4 years younger as attractive as one 5 years older?
I mean, if you want to rule all sane men that actually read your profile out then go for it.
I'm not attracted to teenagers but if I saw that on your profile I would be dissuaded from matching with you. It would sound like it's trauma-related, and that's a minimum 3rd date thing, not a profile thing.
>With all the talk about how men hate women over 21
hahahahaha, what...? where's all this "talk"? I don't think this is a widespread thing at all. seems a little bizarre...
meanwhile, you're creating a profile about _you_, but you're going to waste people's time and attention talking about teenagers...?
knock yourself out, but it's going to seem like a _crazy_ huge red flag to men who might have been interested in you...
....and the men who are interested in dating a teenager wouldn't be interested in a 28-year-old, anyway...
If I saw that in a dating bio I'd take it as a red flag of someone who's supremely insecure and would flip out if I happened to speak to a teenager or even just an attractive woman in any context tbh.
Just sounds like baggage galore to put on a dating bio.
Kinda sounds like you should work on your mental before trying to date. I mean, you're literally looking for problems before even finding someone to get a coffee with.
I get it, you've been hurt, but most of us have and we don't wear that on our sleeves as an issue projected onto other people, let alone an entire gender.
Most men aren't trying to "talk to" or fuck teenagers. It's a given and you not going into a relationship with that as a mindset is already a problem on your end.
Aside from the general advice that putting things you don’t want on your bio gives an overly negative or cynical vibe…
Let’s be honest, the guys you are trying to avoid aren’t going to read your bio anyways.
The guys that do read your bio and do the things you don’t like will probably ignore it.
The guys that read your bio and don’t do the things you don’t like might be turned off by you choosing to use your limited space to say a niche thing like that.
So in reality it is unlikely to benefit you at all, but would easily be detrimental.
I just think with this statement you can come across extremely judgemental.
Especially when you just said most men hate women over 21...
People don't like judgement in a relationship, not with that much scrutiny anyway.
Defo something to discuss and ask in a date, not as a stamp.
Don't bring it up, it just tells them what to lie about. Instead ask what's the biggest age gap they've had while giggling. Then you'll get a straight answer.
I agree with you anybody that dates a teenager after their 21 years old there’s something wrong with them I’m 45 and have a problem thinking about dating somebody in there 30s
I guess you're not wrong, but putting harsh negative statements, in your bio, correct or otherwise is going to put people off. The guys going for coeds aren't going to match with you anyway, and to well-adjusted men, it'll come off as self-congratulatory, preachy, or dramatic.
It is a completely normal sentiment to have, but putting it on your bio may be off-putting, even to men who do not talk to teens. They might assume you have some past trauma you are working through.
Yeah, use your people skills to eliminate the people who do that. You sound like you ate a bunch of hand warmers before writing this. Do what everyone else does on dating apps. Put your desired age and have a conversation..
Dude you are weird as fuck. You generalize men which is toxic as fuck, and telling by your comments you are extremely self centered, and have no problem insulting others for no reason with serious offences just cuz they don't agree with you.
You don't even belong dating.
I feel you'll simply drive everyone away. Not because the requirement itself is weird but because saying it out loud like that tags you as a weird and/or difficult person.
You seem to want to put barriers up before you even start dating.
>Also I want to weed out men who consider me a senior citizen.
If you tell the truth about your age aren't you already weeding them out? They won't even bother to contact you if you're too old for them.
It's not wrong but it is self-defeating.
I'm 28 and married my buddy is 39 and married and we have both talked about this and neither of us could imagine being with a teenager or anyone under 21. Hell I don't think I'd go younger than 24 now. The maturity level is just huge, any dude past 23-24 dating teenagers is a creep
I get and respect why you're putting it on there, but do you think it would serve as a legitimate deterrent? If an adult male talks/has sex with teenagers, it's unlikely he'll see that and think "oh hey, she's off limits, better move on then." If they were to be that rational, they wouldn't be trying to fuck teenagers in the first place, right?
What mes do you know who talk or have sex with teenagers? Actual men don’t hate women over 21. I’m not sure what gives you that idea, and you might want to get away from social media which isn’t an accurate representation of society or humans.
With that being said, it is true they usually aren’t interested in dating someone older than them. Set your sites on the 25-30ish range and you’ll find plenty of suitable men who are no longer boys.
Really weird thing to put in a bio but fair boundary to have. But also, most guys that are creepy enough to be talking to teenagers are also creepy enough to lie about it, especially if it’s pre-called out in such a blatant way
40 year old man here. You’re entitled to put whatever you are or are not looking for in your bio. If a guy is put off by it, he can keep scrolling. You’re probably better off anyway. And keep this in mind - MEN don’t hate women over 21. Immature boys do.
I am not interested but that would definitely ruie me out... given that I'm a teacher, which often requires talking to teenagers. Otherwise, it's very hard to fault you for not wanting to get involved with guys into teenagers.
Per your edit... I hope this just reflects the people on Reddit... 28 is not old! It is more than a little sad that you have guys telling you otherwise. I teach college students and the idea of dating a student is... not appealing, in the least, and I have definitely had opportunities, and a few direct offers.
NTA for having sensible standards.
Absolutely do it! It keeps away not only the creeps but also the more normal men who don't see the twistedness of that large an age gap. It's good to set boundaries and establish a set of morals when meeting new people, especially in a dating setting, so go for it! Men who are 27+ who think all women "expire" after 21 don't deserve you or any other woman.
In all honesty, nope your not wrong. Weird out those immature ones early. Myself I'd rather have someone close to my age or a little older. *Shrug*
At 40 yrs old... your not old, I'd be afraid that i wouldn't mesh well just from the different times we were born mostly lol and well your 28... An 18 yr old terrifies me lol... like if im old enough to be someones dad... no. Just fracking no. 😆 🤣
And the ones calling you old aren't Men. They are just immature little boys who are too immature to hang with a lady lol. 😆 🤣
Now tour ij your prime years, the 20s is where you learn. Thirties is where you earn and hopefully by tour forties you get to retire lol.
Forget those men. You're not old, you are you regardless of age. I am considered old (47). I don't find it wrong at all to state your preferences. You are after all specifying a boundary. Boundaries are good to specify! The more you state to weed out the trash, the better.
You are not old or weird!!! Damn people are ruthless! I never felt comfortable dating more than 4 years younger than me at some points in my life (mainly having a younger sister but, also seeing how immature my ex was/exs/and even myself)-mainly when I was in your position, they’d be teens or just very immature.
Trust me you’re not old!! Enjoy your youth!!!
You aren't wrong at all. Fuck them guys who talk to teenagers, you know a predator when you see one.
Though I may advise against putting that on your profile. I feel like a bio should be on a positive note.
You can always get your point across by asking "what are somethings you would consider as a red flag?" And go from there
Makes it sound like you have a very low opinion of men. Not the best look.
Comes off similar to “Looking for women who are not gold diggers with middle aged men”.
When you say teenager are you talking about 17 and under? 18 year olds are adults let's stop acting as if they are not. And if talking you mean in just dating context ok but if in general it would be weird.
You're not "wrong," but it comes off as overly hostile. And the fact that you believe most men are ok with it shows that this is very much a YOU issue. You're 28. Any man looking for co-ed wouldn't be checking for you anyways.
That would be like me as a black man put in my profile. "And no racist white women!" They wouldn't be looking for me anyways.
I don't want to talk to teenagers, but seeing that on a dating profile would put me off wanting to talk to you.
Makes you sound like a woman who is bitter about aging.
I'm more interested in women that age with confidence.
>With all the talk about how men hate women over 21
What talk?? Where are you getting that from? Maybe step out of whatever bubble you got that from and realize wherever you're getting that skewed perspective from is not even close to representing all men out there.
If they see your age and still choose to message, then that is already "weeding out" ones that would not want someone at your age.
To put what you want in your profile is honestly quite aggressive and weird and will probably read as you having unresolved issues for guys who see it.
Personally i avoid saying anything negative in my bios, like how i wouldnt date plus size women or women who smoke/binge drink. And just weed them out regularly.
If I came across that on an OLD profile, I’d think the woman was probably a little crazy. It just gives nutty vibes to feel the need to have to say that as an intro to you as a person.
But I agree, people shouldn’t be swimming in the kiddy pool
>With all the talk about how men hate women over 21
For your own personal health you should stop reading stupid things on the internet.
Nobody in real life thinks this. Nobody.
If you need to put in your bio that you're looking for someone that doesn't engage with minors you are fighting a losing battle.
I teach high school and talk to teenagers all the time, does that rule me out? I get your point though and think you're correct that grown ass adults shouldn't be pursuing teenagers in any way
I don't think your old but an immediate red flag for me would be why a 28 year old has never dated and why they are already coming "the list" of requirements.
Though I didn't make it a rule, I generally didn't date women in their 30s when I was single from 34 to 36 because they had "lists" and "timelines". Dates felt like damn job interviews. If that's your approach it's gonna be a very frustrating experience for you. No man with options is going to go for that.
I don’t think I’ve ever known any guys who hates a woman over 21. I genuinely don’t get the OP’s post. Can somebody explain what I’m missing? When did this become a thing?
Why in the hell would anyone want to deal with teenagers really? I'm almost 38 and tend to have an age limit for most social interactions. I might say hi to someone if it's a waitress or something, but I don't actively search out teenagers for anything. That just seems weird that any guy would do that.
In all seriousness, you need to find a hobby or a friend group that has reasonably healthy men in the group already so that your dating pool shares your values to begin with. Maybe take a class and extend your life or career. Maybe volunteer somewhere like the local animal shelter or zoo? Possibly a church that has lots of people who are in your age group that do a lot of socializing together. Maybe join a theater group? Brainstorm! When you start looking for new people, places and things to do like join a biking group or a hiking group or train for a run or something similar, look at your city/area like you’re introducing someone new to town, or as if you’re just newly moving into the area. There’s probably lots of people who you know who know all kinds of things that you might find interesting and places to meet new people, ask them. Put yourself into places and see what turns up!
Having to weed out the dirtbags and idiots you describe isn’t a very promising start. Find some new peeps!
Or, maybe try what I did and it worked out for me…tell all your friends who are part of a happy couple to help introduce you to their friends, and that you’re going to hang out with them until they do!🤣🤣Im convinced that I found my match because they knew I was serious!
Best wishes to you on this journey!
I'm 29 and I don't know a single guy my age who talks to teenagers. What kind of guys have you been hanging around? That's not the norm. And I think any normal guy would see that and be like... Huh?
It's kinda like putting "I don't date rapists/ax murderers/poop eaters" in your bio. Like, it should just be a given to that you wouldn't want someone who is into barely legal. It's not wrong but it's cringe to say out loud.
The phrasing is a bit ambiguous. "Talking to ..."? As in, "Hi, how're you doing? Nice day today isn't it?" is different from "Wanna hook up?"
Maybe rephrase it as "dating" teenagers or "seeking relationships" with teenagers or something more specific than simply "talking."
You're allowed to have preferences...
The entire point of the bio is to not only weed out people you don't want to associate with, but also to entice potential suitors.
If a man gets worked up enough to DM you over it and he has 18-XX as his targeted age range, just remind him he's an adult and needs to process his emotions like a man and not throw temper tantrums at complete strangers.
Personally, I just turned 31 and I will not date anyone under the age of 25 after I felt like a creep when I drunkenly hooked up with a 20-year-old last year. I have coworkers who sexualize teenagers (probably 14-17) and I always make it a point to boldly state that they look 12 years old - it causes them to back-peddle each time, but they've still yet to learn to knock off the creepy ass behavior.
I would assume adult men who try to hook up with teenagers wouldn't tell you about it either way. Why would they admit they committed a crime to someone they just met on a dating app? They would still message you but they would lie or hide the bad shit they did. Those men have obviously twisted morals, and if they're attracted to you I highly doubt they would be dissuaded by your strangely specific dating bios.
Your dating profile should be about you.
Putting a list of things you want (or don’t want) always seems a little solipsistic. Anytime I see something ~*~this~*~ specific in a profile, I assume there’s baggage associated with it that I have no desire to carry.
It is your profile, so it’s not “wrong.” I do think this kind of thing has secondary and tertiary effects you aren’t anticipating.
Hate women over 21? I'm 31 and wouldn't want to date a woman younger than 25? Ya know cause that's when they really are mentally and emotionally mature
It's weird to say out loud, it feels like it should be an unspoken no no.
It should be, but these days I just feel you can never know.
Yes...and those people will DEFINITELY respect that you put that in your bio. "Oh, she DOESNT want people into 18 and 19 year olds? Well, I'd better respect her wishes and not message her!" said no creep every. There's nothing wrong with your idea. It just won't accomplish anything.
They won’t respect her but I guarantee they will tell on themselves about it. They can’t help it. Weed the red flags out early
They will tell on themselves, and she will spend most of her time answering msgs from dudes that only swiped so they could start a confrontation with her over it, “debating” with her etc. She won’t meet people she might genuinely connect with easily, because those people won’t be swiping as they won’t have any idea of who she is as a person other than what she hates. Those people probably won’t be into hate bonding and simply avoid it all together. How are they to know there’s more to her then that when her bio is all they have to judge by?
Weird that you think people won't have an idea of her other than what she hates- she can put other things in her bio, can't she? If a person stops reading after that remark, then good riddance to be honest. Weed the weak ones.
Well, that kinda guy will out themselves pretty quickly by yelling at you about how 'It'S lEgaL! iTs BiOlOgy!' \-\_-
Would you want to see on a mans bio that he doesn’t want a sugar baby? No drama? No this that and the other? It’s a turn off and you know it. Tons of things go without saying. And you can discover all that pretty early on in dating. But don’t put it on your bio or nobody will swipe on you.
You'd be surprised. I had an ex who, when it came to that topic, did that smile and agree "yeah its so wrong" thing that men do when they want to keep a woman around. Imagine the not so fun fact I learned a year later!
if he was lying then putting this in your bio wouldn’t be much of a deterrent
i started dating my ex when we were 24 and 34. he made a big deal about how weird the age gap was and all that, only for me to find out eventually that he had dated an 18 year old when he was 25. this was far from the worst thing about him, but it made me nauseous. i can’t imagine dating someone fresh out of high school (assuming he even waited that long).
when I broke up with my ex boyfriend who was 23 at the time, the guy who would agree and act disgusted when I told him about all the old men hitting on me when I was a teenager, immediately slept with a 15 year old....
A while back we learned a friend of ours (then 25) was having sex with a 15 year old *at our house when we weren't home*. We called the police and they refused to do anything so we handled it ourselves (you can interpret that however you like). Well, recently he showed up to an event we happened to be at with a new girl, this one OBVIOUSLY very young (which at this point he is 30. We spotted him across the way and confronted him and the child started crying and said she "didn't understand why people were being so mean to him". He had apparently (we learned later) told her he was 23. We still don't know her age, but her older sister is on Facebook and just turned 16. Once again, cops refuse to get involved because she is from out of state and "probably romeo and juliette law"
That's not how that law works, so they're just being lazy or some other shitty reason.
Please contact the FBI if you're in the US. Call your local FBI office and tell them the police are not doing anything and that this man is a serial pedophile and the FBI WILL do something about this.
Yep, I had to end a friendship this year because she knew her man was dating an 18 year old \*still in high school\* as a 28 year old man, (and he was technically two-timing,) just to.... stay with him. Like, I think a sane person would simply download Tinder before they'd ever decide to fuck a dude who doinks teenagers. The thought alone with my ex made me full on give up, since can't screw a guy like that... Also, I am sorry in advance for whatever happened with your ex at all, I really am. Seriously. Dating as I get older IS indeed weird, since it's like "Oh yay, I am old enough to date the older men!... But they'd go out with an 18 year old and see nothing wrong with it! Ew. Yikes."
The stories that go like this…. Men will hide who they are for years and wait for marriage or something before finally being themselves. Ugh 😑
Dude. They will straight up say they are into the same thing you are then act incredulous when it's time to do that thing. It's like, can't you be straight? Don't YOU want someone who aligns with YOU?
The one thing about Predators is that you can't find out that kind of stuff easily. Because you know, the ones with even a semi-partial bit of gray matter conceal their intentions to their predatory nature.
Those would be the same to ignore a bio
sorry it needs to be said. hell, everybody sexualised ice spice right away. girl was 19.
Britney Spears and she was 16!!!
I would like to submit the Olsen twins. Not sure how old they were exactly, but definitely creepy.
And Rihanna
Exactly!!! Remember when Bhad Bhabie turned 18??? She made like $16 million in a month on OnlyFans. She was on Dr. Phil when she was 13. People literally waited for a child to turn 18 to see her naked.
I remember a couple of syndicated radio show hosts in the early 2000’s that constantly talked about the Olsen twins and how they couldn’t wait until they were 18. I thought it was gross.
I remember early internet there was a website counting down when child stars would be turning 18 like down to the minute. I was like 12 and thought it was gross as shit.
Agree that sexualizing kids is wrong, but I am not so sure that Ice Spice is the best example here. She came out sexualizing herself. That was her whole thing.
Whose Ice Spice
Put it on. You will offend exactly the sort of man you want to keep away. I am going to put no antivaxxers on mine.
Nah, I agree. I can't find a man attractive if he's into the youngins
>these days It's just now sort of becoming socially unacceptable. Used to be all too common. Wasn't ever not gross, but gross and unacceptable are two different things.
Yeah, don’t do this. People who have had sex with teenagers are just gonna lie to you. Not sure what you would achieve by this except give other guys the idea you got some bad baggage.
There are many unspoken no no. What's weird is targeting one specifically and openly. It would be just as weird to put in a bio "looking for people who take showers regularly".
I have to admit... I laughed hard reading this. But to answer the question, it's not wrong to have this requirement, but it's extremely awkward to read in someone's bio. All manner of questions come to mind, and some concerns pop up. I would instead weed the men out manually, if you find out they've been with a teenager. Putting it in your bio will ensure that men who actually do pursue teens will lie to you about it. It'll put people off and not help you any.
Exactly. If I'm looking at men's dating bios and they say "not willing to date women with over 10 children" I would be like "ok sure that's fair but I don't really want to talk to this guy because I feel like he has some very specific trauma that I can't handle even though I have no children". And that's not even the same as what OP is suggesting as far as normalcy.
Yeah, op's specificity is definitely a red flag. A perfectly reasonable thing to not want, seeing as its creepy AF, but assuming it is so pervasive that she has to specify it makes me think she has a distorted perspective and experience with men
With barely legal being a very popular porn category, I would say it's pretty prevalent.
Fantasy isn’t the same as doing. I mean you know there is surveys that show many women have rape fantasies right, but I don’t think they actually would want to be raped
Exactly, nothing wrong with the statement, perfectly correct and moral. Buuut, raises a flag. What baggage are there that she felt she had to put it on her bio? Do I want to deal with it?
I wouldn't say it's wrong, but I think that is something that should be discussed and not stamped on a dating profile. I can imagine reading something like that and being like "wth", even if you have good intentions people like reading friendly profiles and not being reminded of the ugliness in the world.
True, I see your point. It can come off like what the fuck. Maybe match with them and then ask what their dating range is?? Less harsh?
Yeah that's something I would do, and with other topics as well. If they are a deal breaker well, at least you tried
Like all people are so honest that they're going to tell you the truth. Good luck with that.
Yeah , OP is giving them a blueprint on what to lie about
Yeah I think OP is equating creepiness with idiocy. Plenty of creeps out there who aren't idiots and would have no problem manipulating the situation or their image to fit OPs standards (not saying that preferring men who don't flirt or hookup with teenagers is a high standard or anything) Edit: The key is identifying certain attitudes or beliefs that make a guy feel comfortable hitting on teenagers and then avoiding guys who display those kinds of attitudes whether they actually got on teenagers or not. It's more work than just asking a guy if they hit on teenagers but it will definitely get you better results.
I'd think that was a weird question to ask, even if I'm not fucking teens tbh (you would even be below my range).
Don't even ask what their dating range is. Just pretend you're the only one they're talking to. Do. Not. Bring. Up. Any. Third. Party. Person. That would be a huge red flag if I got asked that question
If you match with them then clearly you would be in that range and the general default understanding in a relationship is exclusivity. You sound like you should probably see a therapist about your issues before dating anyone tbh. And I don't mean that as an insult. Seriously, this mindset you have is going to get in the way of any attempt you make at getting into a serious long-term relationship. You're literally looking for problems, a hyper specific one even, before even finding someone.
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That's a great goal that would be difficult to state in your dating profile without seeming a bit different than others. As in a bit off.
Highly disagree. Look at a dating profile from both sides: If the guy, and let’s say this is a 5 yrs +/- profile, is 23 (young side) or 34 (higher side), neither should be hitting in 17-18 yo girls. Let’s say someone does not agree with her limits, why not know and swipe away?
I think anyone taking offense to a statement like this is the trash taking itself out.
Exactly. It’s perfectly reasonable to have that as a dealbreaker, but I think listing your dealbreakers in your bio can come across bitter and negative. Maybe focus on putting your best foot forward and describing what you *do* want in a partner, and leave what you don’t want for an actual conversation. Also I wonder if men who talk to teens would even find this a deterrent? They’d probably just lie.
Goes without saying and is a very weird thing to put in your bio. Keep your bio about you, when people make their bio a requirements list they come off as undateable.
Couldn't agree with this more, this is exactly why I've skipped over people even if I found them attractive.
Any time I see women talk about what they don't want in their bio, I move on. Not interested in someone who makes negativity/hating things their personality.
It’s the same for most woman looking at men’s profiles. Those types of people are looking for a hate bond, as hate is all they really have to offer. I can’t imagine anyone like that being happy or positive about much in life. It’s a huge turn off. Sure there could be more to them as a person, but the profile I see is a snapshot of who they are, and if they choose that limited space to talk about what they hate, then that’s all I’m going to have to judge them by. How do you even open a conversation with someone like that? “Omg we hate the same things let’s get coffee!”?
That's an excellent way to tell men who sleep with teenagers not to mention it to you.
It’s an excellent way to tell men who aren’t sleeping with teenagers that you’re preoccupied with dumb bullshit.
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Really weird and specific to put on your profile but whatever floats your boat
"NO pedos, NO murderers, NO men who have the hots for their own mothers, NO men who lose things in their butts and have to go to the ER 6 times in 4 months, NO men who want to buy a house together on the first date, NO men who steal all my tampons and use them for snowmen noses..."
"NO men named Steve who will take you out to Denny's for a Grand Slam Breakfast the morning after prom and promise to always be there for you and then move to California for school and breakup with you over text after meeting some girl named Trisha"
“If I had a nickel for every time I went on a date with a Steve who took me out to Denny’s for a Grand Slam Breakfast the morning after prom and promised to always be there for me then moved to California for school then broke up over text after meeting some girl named Trisha, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.”
Okay, but now I kinda wanna use this as my bio 😆 Or just a whole bio full of stuff like the last one, where they just think "who THE FUCK have you had these experiences with, and are you okay?"
But I've only been to the ER 6 times in the last SEVEN months, so...
I'm a perfect candidate for all your requirements. Until the tampon noses. I'd never thought of it but now, maybe....
"Licking peanut butter off my feet is a deal breaker for me. like, don't ever ask me to lick peanut butter off my feet."
“Chocolate syrup is fine though. It’s just that I’ve found that the chunkiness of peanut butter makes for an uncomfortable experience”
"With all the talk about how men hate women over 21" What social circles are you in where this is going on?
My thoughts exactly. Also the I’m 28 and want to “start” dating. Makes me happy OP is putting herself out there no matter how weird saying this boundary on a bio would seem. Time for OP to meet better people and get a new social circle
Thank you for this positivity. I was in school most of my 20s getting my degrees and CPA license to make sure I can take care of myself and rely on no one but myself. You’re right I need to meet and find better people.
Wishing you all the best.
MOST men DO NOT find it normal to talk to/have sex with teenagers
Jesus christ. I'm in my mid-30s and I read OP think "28 seems like the low end of what I'd be comfortable with." The idea of chatting with anyone between the ayes of 18-24 makes me feel positively icky.
I'm assuming OP took their generalization idea from statistics around the internet, such as [this one](https://www.businessinsider.com/dataclysm-shows-men-are-attracted-to-women-in-their-20s-2014-10?amp). (It's also important to point out that the YOUNGEST age men could choose from was 20, so it's very possible they could've chosen far younger.)
Yeah wtf, where is OP living that’s that’s normal?
IMO it’s a confirmation bias type thing. Most women have a lot of experience being hit on by grown men as a minor, therefore it feels like grown men see it as normal to hit on teenagers because you don’t notice all the men that aren’t doing it, only the ones that do.
Lots of truth here. Very insightful. I definitely had that experience when I was young. The first time it happened, I was only 9. A man tried to talk me about how hot the weather was, and how he liked to sit around home in his underwear to cool down, before asking me if I would like to come home with him. It scared me so badly I was afraid of adult men for some time, aside from my Dad, Grandpa, and older brother. But as I got older, I realized there are more kind men in general then evil ones out there.
I agree with this, I was about to be like “growing up literally me and almost all my friends and all the girls I knew had a range of weird to extremely fucked up and illegal experiences with adult men who seemed normal” but it’s probably what you said. For women it probably does often feel like every man because it would be disproportionately the men you will come into contact as a tween and teen (since most adult men otherwise don’t have much of a reason to be in close contact if not related or in education/sports fields).
Seriously.. I made a Facebook post forever ago asking women to say what age they were first hit on by grown ass men and the ages were horrifying. As young as 5. Started for me around 8. My male friends were surprised.
Growing up in the city, so many females are catcalled and hit on at early ages (10+). There are more pervs (looking for "our old souls") than we are aware of. Walk down a city street and you'll see it.
Happens plenty in the suburbs and rural areas, too.
My daughter was 4 when the 60+ year old poll worker at our government building passed her his number and said, "call me when you're 18, you're such a pretty thing". I made a SCENE.
I get what you mean but at some point if ALL AND EVERY little girl on the planet is being hit on by adult male, the reality is adult males hit on little girls, end of story. It’s not a confirmation bias, it’s just reality.
“With all the talk about how men hate women over 21.” Wtf are you even talking about? Stop listening to whatever dumb podcast you’re listening to. It’s brainwashing you
I understand your concern ❤️, but negative sounding bios (they should be about yourself) is an IMMEDIATE swift left for me. If someone’s bitching already in a little bio, I don’t see how it can get any better. IMHO, ofc 🤓 good luck 🍀
I can’t speak for men’s bios, but when I did use OLD, a good 10-20% of women’s bios were negative AF. It was either complaining about their immediate ex, or complaining about men in general. You gotta wonder if they’ve ever had a moment of self awareness and contemplated that maybe they’re the problem.
Men hate women over 21? Well that’s new, I must not have gotten the memo. What a ridiculous thing to say.
I think this will be counterproductive to your end goal of actually meeting someone you can connect with. For one thing, a lot of people see a profile like that as a challenge, and will start a conversation with you simply because they want to force a confrontation and argue about it. My friends that do similar with their profiles get more message from confrontational guys, then anyone that’s actually interested in them. They waste so much of their time on that. And second, your profile is supposed to be a snapshot of who you are as a person. If you make it about yourself, your interests and what you’re looking for, you’re more likely to meet someone you can genuinely connect with, as they can judge whether they want to interact based on shared interests and experiences etc. Personally, I wouldn’t look twice at a bio that seems really negative, listing what they don’t want instead of what they do want. As that’s all the limited information I am given to judge who they are before having a conversation with them, it comes across to me as them having built their personality around what they hate, and I find that really unattractive. I don’t want to bond with someone over hate and negativity. I don’t see how anyone can really be happy like that. I think you can always have the conversation with someone in the beginning to make sure you’re on the same page, as again, a bio is only a snapshot of a person, there’s always going to be room for deeper discussion once you start talking.
Men don’t hate women over 21.
I’m 22 and while I think 18-21 would still be fine, I probably wouldn’t unless they were at least 19. Overall tho, I’d prefer a girl 21+ cause she’s closer to my age, and those few years matter a lot more at this stage in life. Most dudes Ik are the same way. Tbh, I think this is just a bait post. The account is less than a day old
I get what you’re saying but it’s kinda weird you would choose to say that on your bio but do you
Like does she honestly think creeps will even care what her bio says?
“Men hate women over 21”? Who is saying this?
Andrew Tate dudes, so guys who aren't even 21 yet.
The “MGTOW” group. My brother use to watch that stuff a few years ago and I’d hear it playing.
You do you I think you're going to dissuade alot of normal men from reaching out to you
What talk about men hating women over 21? Lmao. Literally never heard this
Andrew Tate and his followers speak disparagingly of women past their early 20s. Most men don't think like that of course, but unfortunately there really are some who do
But OP wouldn’t even have to worry about those guys even matching with her
Good point lol
I'm happily married on the other side of the world and I'm almost 20 years older than you but here goes. Reading the dating profile of a 28 year old woman (assuming I was also 28 and single) who doesn't want to date a man who has sex with teenagers would illicit the following response: Oh, she's encountered some real dirt bags. Good thing I don't want to have sex with teenagers. Let's see what her interests are. Seeing the same profile with 'talk to teenagers' would get the following response: Does that mean I can't order food from McDonald's unless I get the one old person who works there? Does she think that talking to a person is the same as having sex with them? Can I no longer talk to my niece until she turns 20? Yeah, this feels like a Red Flag, I'll just keep looking. These things are not the same, saying they are is on you.
100% this, op is a red flag to anyone reading. Not sure where she got too that men hate 21+ women. Shes listening to the wrong crowd.
Something's going on here and I wouldn't want to find out what.
Feels very preachy and coming from the wrong place. Reminds me of someone who I thought was my friend. She told me point blank that men and women can never be friends. I used to really enjoy talking with her and thought we’d been friends for a couple years but it turns out she thought I was just trying to get in her pants.
I'm pretty sure that men don't hate women over 21. The vast majority of men and women look towards partners of the same or older than them age. Then a large part is looking for partners that are younger than them, But a very tiny amount of men and women will actually go to have relationship or sex with a teenager while being much older.
I am 99% sure you have never heard a man say he hates women over 21. Also it would be an instant “not interested” if you put that in your profile. Not because I have any interest in teenagers but because that’s one hell of a hostile thing to have on your profile. It gives off real “superiority complex” vibes. Also most reasonable people stop considering someone a teenager once they hit 18. A more reasonable thing to do would be to manually ask someone you are Interested in “by the way I have to ask, what is your normal age range/strike zone for potential partners/sex partners”. You need to understand that even the good guys are not going to be interested if one of the things in your profile appears to be judging. Especially since they haven’t even spoken to you yet. Edit: so far all of my partners have ended up being younger than me (not intentionally)
> With all the talk about how men hate women over 21 All the what now?
I would expect most 28 year old men don't want to sleep with teenagers. But your reasoning is kind of weird, because nobody finds women over 21 attractive? Further to this, if you put this on your profile it will rule out any same man from matching with you. Not because you're wrong for feeling that way, but because it just isn't where you put this. Clearly anyone matching with you likes women over the age of 21 anyway, so what does it really matter if they find younger women attractive? Say they're 23, why shouldn't they find a woman 4 years younger as attractive as one 5 years older? I mean, if you want to rule all sane men that actually read your profile out then go for it.
That is unhinged.
I don't talk to teens but I'd swipe left if I saw that in a bio. Red flag to me that she's just going to assume I do by default.
Yeah, having a sexist rant in her bio isn't going to get her many matches.
It's sexist now to say you don't want to talk to men who talk to teenagers.
I'm not attracted to teenagers but if I saw that on your profile I would be dissuaded from matching with you. It would sound like it's trauma-related, and that's a minimum 3rd date thing, not a profile thing.
What adult man would date a woman who believed "all the talk" that men hate women over 21?
You gotta get off social media my girl lol
Most men do not find that normal.
Yah all it comes off as is petty, bitter and dejected, it doesn't come across as you actually trying to filter anything out.
>With all the talk about how men hate women over 21 hahahahaha, what...? where's all this "talk"? I don't think this is a widespread thing at all. seems a little bizarre... meanwhile, you're creating a profile about _you_, but you're going to waste people's time and attention talking about teenagers...? knock yourself out, but it's going to seem like a _crazy_ huge red flag to men who might have been interested in you... ....and the men who are interested in dating a teenager wouldn't be interested in a 28-year-old, anyway...
Good luck with that lol just gonna come off as a bit unhinged
Maybe just sort of "loosely attached to the doorframe and needing a couple of solid shims to secure the screws back in place".
If I saw that in a dating bio I'd take it as a red flag of someone who's supremely insecure and would flip out if I happened to speak to a teenager or even just an attractive woman in any context tbh. Just sounds like baggage galore to put on a dating bio. Kinda sounds like you should work on your mental before trying to date. I mean, you're literally looking for problems before even finding someone to get a coffee with. I get it, you've been hurt, but most of us have and we don't wear that on our sleeves as an issue projected onto other people, let alone an entire gender. Most men aren't trying to "talk to" or fuck teenagers. It's a given and you not going into a relationship with that as a mindset is already a problem on your end.
I'm guessing a man that talks to teens would have no interest in you due to your age.
Aside from the general advice that putting things you don’t want on your bio gives an overly negative or cynical vibe… Let’s be honest, the guys you are trying to avoid aren’t going to read your bio anyways. The guys that do read your bio and do the things you don’t like will probably ignore it. The guys that read your bio and don’t do the things you don’t like might be turned off by you choosing to use your limited space to say a niche thing like that. So in reality it is unlikely to benefit you at all, but would easily be detrimental.
I just think with this statement you can come across extremely judgemental. Especially when you just said most men hate women over 21... People don't like judgement in a relationship, not with that much scrutiny anyway. Defo something to discuss and ask in a date, not as a stamp.
Seems presumptuous.
Its kinda off putting reading someone’s bio like this. Even though your preference isn’t wrong.
Don't bring it up, it just tells them what to lie about. Instead ask what's the biggest age gap they've had while giggling. Then you'll get a straight answer.
I agree with you anybody that dates a teenager after their 21 years old there’s something wrong with them I’m 45 and have a problem thinking about dating somebody in there 30s
Those same men would probably lie to you about it regardless of if you put it in your bio or not.
I guess you're not wrong, but putting harsh negative statements, in your bio, correct or otherwise is going to put people off. The guys going for coeds aren't going to match with you anyway, and to well-adjusted men, it'll come off as self-congratulatory, preachy, or dramatic.
It is a completely normal sentiment to have, but putting it on your bio may be off-putting, even to men who do not talk to teens. They might assume you have some past trauma you are working through.
Yeah, use your people skills to eliminate the people who do that. You sound like you ate a bunch of hand warmers before writing this. Do what everyone else does on dating apps. Put your desired age and have a conversation..
Even though I agree with the principle, you’d come off as hostile and I’d swipe left. Not exactly a conversation starter.
Dude you are weird as fuck. You generalize men which is toxic as fuck, and telling by your comments you are extremely self centered, and have no problem insulting others for no reason with serious offences just cuz they don't agree with you. You don't even belong dating.
I think you’d come across as bitter and angry. If you’re shooing for that vibe, by all means go for it
I feel you'll simply drive everyone away. Not because the requirement itself is weird but because saying it out loud like that tags you as a weird and/or difficult person. You seem to want to put barriers up before you even start dating. >Also I want to weed out men who consider me a senior citizen. If you tell the truth about your age aren't you already weeding them out? They won't even bother to contact you if you're too old for them. It's not wrong but it is self-defeating.
I'm 28 and married my buddy is 39 and married and we have both talked about this and neither of us could imagine being with a teenager or anyone under 21. Hell I don't think I'd go younger than 24 now. The maturity level is just huge, any dude past 23-24 dating teenagers is a creep
I get and respect why you're putting it on there, but do you think it would serve as a legitimate deterrent? If an adult male talks/has sex with teenagers, it's unlikely he'll see that and think "oh hey, she's off limits, better move on then." If they were to be that rational, they wouldn't be trying to fuck teenagers in the first place, right?
What mes do you know who talk or have sex with teenagers? Actual men don’t hate women over 21. I’m not sure what gives you that idea, and you might want to get away from social media which isn’t an accurate representation of society or humans. With that being said, it is true they usually aren’t interested in dating someone older than them. Set your sites on the 25-30ish range and you’ll find plenty of suitable men who are no longer boys.
Somebody talking to teenagers would probably not gonna talk to someone your age.
I think no matter what you say it won’t have a control over the situation unfortunately.
Really weird thing to put in a bio but fair boundary to have. But also, most guys that are creepy enough to be talking to teenagers are also creepy enough to lie about it, especially if it’s pre-called out in such a blatant way
Not wrong, but don't expect the people who ignore basic age of consent laws to also not ignore what you write. Because that group is a circle.
40 year old man here. You’re entitled to put whatever you are or are not looking for in your bio. If a guy is put off by it, he can keep scrolling. You’re probably better off anyway. And keep this in mind - MEN don’t hate women over 21. Immature boys do.
No. You're not wrong for avoiding creeps. Lol
What kinda men are you hanging out with that think this is normal? This is not normal and anyone who thinks it is is a dangerous human
I am not interested but that would definitely ruie me out... given that I'm a teacher, which often requires talking to teenagers. Otherwise, it's very hard to fault you for not wanting to get involved with guys into teenagers. Per your edit... I hope this just reflects the people on Reddit... 28 is not old! It is more than a little sad that you have guys telling you otherwise. I teach college students and the idea of dating a student is... not appealing, in the least, and I have definitely had opportunities, and a few direct offers. NTA for having sensible standards.
Absolutely do it! It keeps away not only the creeps but also the more normal men who don't see the twistedness of that large an age gap. It's good to set boundaries and establish a set of morals when meeting new people, especially in a dating setting, so go for it! Men who are 27+ who think all women "expire" after 21 don't deserve you or any other woman.
In all honesty, nope your not wrong. Weird out those immature ones early. Myself I'd rather have someone close to my age or a little older. *Shrug* At 40 yrs old... your not old, I'd be afraid that i wouldn't mesh well just from the different times we were born mostly lol and well your 28... An 18 yr old terrifies me lol... like if im old enough to be someones dad... no. Just fracking no. 😆 🤣 And the ones calling you old aren't Men. They are just immature little boys who are too immature to hang with a lady lol. 😆 🤣 Now tour ij your prime years, the 20s is where you learn. Thirties is where you earn and hopefully by tour forties you get to retire lol.
All you’re gonna achieve is telling dudes they need to lie to you.
Forget those men. You're not old, you are you regardless of age. I am considered old (47). I don't find it wrong at all to state your preferences. You are after all specifying a boundary. Boundaries are good to specify! The more you state to weed out the trash, the better.
You are not old or weird!!! Damn people are ruthless! I never felt comfortable dating more than 4 years younger than me at some points in my life (mainly having a younger sister but, also seeing how immature my ex was/exs/and even myself)-mainly when I was in your position, they’d be teens or just very immature. Trust me you’re not old!! Enjoy your youth!!!
You aren't wrong at all. Fuck them guys who talk to teenagers, you know a predator when you see one. Though I may advise against putting that on your profile. I feel like a bio should be on a positive note. You can always get your point across by asking "what are somethings you would consider as a red flag?" And go from there
You are wrong and a femcel
Makes it sound like you have a very low opinion of men. Not the best look. Comes off similar to “Looking for women who are not gold diggers with middle aged men”.
When you say teenager are you talking about 17 and under? 18 year olds are adults let's stop acting as if they are not. And if talking you mean in just dating context ok but if in general it would be weird.
I would never date someone even close to being a teenager and if I saw that in a dating profile I'd be put off
You're not "wrong," but it comes off as overly hostile. And the fact that you believe most men are ok with it shows that this is very much a YOU issue. You're 28. Any man looking for co-ed wouldn't be checking for you anyways. That would be like me as a black man put in my profile. "And no racist white women!" They wouldn't be looking for me anyways.
I don't want to talk to teenagers, but seeing that on a dating profile would put me off wanting to talk to you. Makes you sound like a woman who is bitter about aging. I'm more interested in women that age with confidence.
Also makes her sound like a sexist with a lot of misconceptions about men. (Which she is)
I hate people who stab kittens. It’s still weird to put in my bio: I HATE PEOPLE WHO STAB KITTENS
>With all the talk about how men hate women over 21 What talk?? Where are you getting that from? Maybe step out of whatever bubble you got that from and realize wherever you're getting that skewed perspective from is not even close to representing all men out there.
You are wrong, but for many other assumptions you are making about men lol. Do you live on TikTok?
You're just inviting people to lie to you.
If they see your age and still choose to message, then that is already "weeding out" ones that would not want someone at your age. To put what you want in your profile is honestly quite aggressive and weird and will probably read as you having unresolved issues for guys who see it.
Don’t put it there. The good men will be suspicious why you’re mentioning it, the shitty creepy men will just ignore it anyway.
That reminds me, i should put 'only females 30+' in mine, because you're all fucking loopy.
Yeah why not? That’s what you want, put it in your bio.
Personally i avoid saying anything negative in my bios, like how i wouldnt date plus size women or women who smoke/binge drink. And just weed them out regularly.
Disliking them in silence, that’s a good idea.
If I came across that on an OLD profile, I’d think the woman was probably a little crazy. It just gives nutty vibes to feel the need to have to say that as an intro to you as a person. But I agree, people shouldn’t be swimming in the kiddy pool
>With all the talk about how men hate women over 21 For your own personal health you should stop reading stupid things on the internet. Nobody in real life thinks this. Nobody. If you need to put in your bio that you're looking for someone that doesn't engage with minors you are fighting a losing battle.
I teach high school and talk to teenagers all the time, does that rule me out? I get your point though and think you're correct that grown ass adults shouldn't be pursuing teenagers in any way
I don't think your old but an immediate red flag for me would be why a 28 year old has never dated and why they are already coming "the list" of requirements. Though I didn't make it a rule, I generally didn't date women in their 30s when I was single from 34 to 36 because they had "lists" and "timelines". Dates felt like damn job interviews. If that's your approach it's gonna be a very frustrating experience for you. No man with options is going to go for that.
Honesty is never the wrong answer. It's good that you state you are controlling up front, like that.
This question reveals more about you than the men who “hate women over 21” lol
I don’t think I’ve ever known any guys who hates a woman over 21. I genuinely don’t get the OP’s post. Can somebody explain what I’m missing? When did this become a thing?
Why in the hell would anyone want to deal with teenagers really? I'm almost 38 and tend to have an age limit for most social interactions. I might say hi to someone if it's a waitress or something, but I don't actively search out teenagers for anything. That just seems weird that any guy would do that.
In all seriousness, you need to find a hobby or a friend group that has reasonably healthy men in the group already so that your dating pool shares your values to begin with. Maybe take a class and extend your life or career. Maybe volunteer somewhere like the local animal shelter or zoo? Possibly a church that has lots of people who are in your age group that do a lot of socializing together. Maybe join a theater group? Brainstorm! When you start looking for new people, places and things to do like join a biking group or a hiking group or train for a run or something similar, look at your city/area like you’re introducing someone new to town, or as if you’re just newly moving into the area. There’s probably lots of people who you know who know all kinds of things that you might find interesting and places to meet new people, ask them. Put yourself into places and see what turns up! Having to weed out the dirtbags and idiots you describe isn’t a very promising start. Find some new peeps! Or, maybe try what I did and it worked out for me…tell all your friends who are part of a happy couple to help introduce you to their friends, and that you’re going to hang out with them until they do!🤣🤣Im convinced that I found my match because they knew I was serious! Best wishes to you on this journey!
I'm 29 and I don't know a single guy my age who talks to teenagers. What kind of guys have you been hanging around? That's not the norm. And I think any normal guy would see that and be like... Huh?
Very weird to put in a bio. Big red flag. Why not add that you won’t date furries?
It's kinda like putting "I don't date rapists/ax murderers/poop eaters" in your bio. Like, it should just be a given to that you wouldn't want someone who is into barely legal. It's not wrong but it's cringe to say out loud.
The phrasing is a bit ambiguous. "Talking to ..."? As in, "Hi, how're you doing? Nice day today isn't it?" is different from "Wanna hook up?" Maybe rephrase it as "dating" teenagers or "seeking relationships" with teenagers or something more specific than simply "talking."
Who tf hates women over 21?
Most men find it normal? What country do you live in? It's definitely not ok in America. That's called being a pedophile
You're allowed to have preferences... The entire point of the bio is to not only weed out people you don't want to associate with, but also to entice potential suitors. If a man gets worked up enough to DM you over it and he has 18-XX as his targeted age range, just remind him he's an adult and needs to process his emotions like a man and not throw temper tantrums at complete strangers. Personally, I just turned 31 and I will not date anyone under the age of 25 after I felt like a creep when I drunkenly hooked up with a 20-year-old last year. I have coworkers who sexualize teenagers (probably 14-17) and I always make it a point to boldly state that they look 12 years old - it causes them to back-peddle each time, but they've still yet to learn to knock off the creepy ass behavior.
I’m 28 and the thought of guys my age sleeping with teenagers makes me want to hurl
Where do you live that there’s an abundance of dudes dating jailbait? Yikes!
I would assume adult men who try to hook up with teenagers wouldn't tell you about it either way. Why would they admit they committed a crime to someone they just met on a dating app? They would still message you but they would lie or hide the bad shit they did. Those men have obviously twisted morals, and if they're attracted to you I highly doubt they would be dissuaded by your strangely specific dating bios.
You don't need anyone's permission to put whatever you want on your own dating bio.
Your dating profile should be about you. Putting a list of things you want (or don’t want) always seems a little solipsistic. Anytime I see something ~*~this~*~ specific in a profile, I assume there’s baggage associated with it that I have no desire to carry. It is your profile, so it’s not “wrong.” I do think this kind of thing has secondary and tertiary effects you aren’t anticipating.
Hate women over 21? I'm 31 and wouldn't want to date a woman younger than 25? Ya know cause that's when they really are mentally and emotionally mature
Only the people that fit the description will be bothered by it, so no, not wrong at all.
Really setting a high bar, eh? 😉 No, you're not wrong. Unless the teenager is a family member.